This is why you have to save the universe
by JosieRevisited
Summary: Femshep\Liara with a number of original 's slightly AU because when I started it, Liara's lineage was unknown. Now that we have canon, I'm leaving this story as is but adapting in later installments to bring Liara's canon father into the adventure. OC human\asari pairing as well, to set the stage for bigger things to come.
1. Prologue

**A/N**

Welcome to my fic! To keep it brief, there are some OC in this work, but likely it's not what you think or expect. There's some mythological themes, some insane gods, a bit of relationship drama, a few love scenes that I hope are appropriately tasteful, and a whole lot of FUN.

I had started this work **long** before the reveal of Liara's father, naively thinking that Bioware was going to leave that open ended as fodder for our imaginations... but such was not the case. So I have an entire world built around the identity of Liara's second parent in this work that does not follow canon, but in part II and III I will be using Aethyta. Don't worry, I figured out a way to make it work. I also felt that Sha'ira should have had a more prominent role, so I gave her one and used her quite extensively.

I will not be following the dialogue word for word (though at various times I do cherry-pick quotes I liked) and at one point I do skip ahead to the place where Jane meets Liara on Therum, but I will be following the general storyline, developing their relationship, and taking breaks from it when appropriate to put the characters in unique situations. That's part of the reason I use OC, so that I can create these situations for Jane and Liara that otherwise wouldn't exist.

My Shepard is unapologetically female, a soldier with the war hero background, Earthborn. I kept the default name, because for some reason I just like the name Jane, and think it suits her.

I hope that you enjoy the work. It is now complete, and I am taking a couple of months off from writing to immerse myself in ME2 once more. I will then continue this story.

~JW

**Prologue**

**-Heavens, Undisclosed location**

_He smiled to himself, as_ _he gazed at her over the game board. She was sitting across from him, as was customary, thoughtfully twirling two figurines in one of her left hands: a youthful maiden with light facial markings and an older, heavily robed matriarch. He knew what she wanted to ask of him, but she was searching her own side of the play board for any opportunities she may have missed. She always tried to pair off her daughters among themselves first. He wasn't insulted though, as he was not a petty god. He merely waited for her to make her decision, and place the figurines on the board, or ask him for one of his to match. He had always valued patience, and so he gave her the time she needed. He sensed that the two figurines she held were very close to her._

_"Neither of these has shown any interest in any of my other daughters." She looked up from the board._

_"Indeed?"_

_"Indeed." She stopped twirling the figurines, and leaned forward. "This one, is ready. She needs to be paired off so that the bloodline may continue." She indicated the older figurine she held, placing it in the center of the board. "This other one, I can hold off for a short time. She is young, and though she too needs to be paired, I can let her enjoy what fleeting happiness youth will bring her... for now. We haven't come to the time yet, where she will be needed."_

_He narrowed his eyes at her, knowing what she was playing at. She had created... things... within her daughters, that could only be released under certain circumstances when they became of age. He didn't approve of the things she had created, but then again, he couldn't be hypocritical, either... considering the gifts he was bestowing upon his own children. They had bigger things to worry about, anyway, and with the machine-gods returning once more to destroy their creations, he was willing to overlook her... extra-curricular actives._

_He leaned back in his chair and gazed over the board, looking at the faces of his own children. When the gods had split during the dawn of this civilization, and decided to go their separate ways, they all agreed to stay out of each others' business. And so it was that for the first time ever, since time began, each had their own race, and their own rules. Each made their own children, in their own images, and each stayed in their own remote corner of the universe, until such a time that their creations had advanced enough that they started discovering each other. He was a little late to the table, but he was proud of how far his humans had advanced in such a short time. _

_"What do you ask of me?"_

_She considered for a moment, then placed the younger figurine over to the side of the board, where it was still in play, but not yet in the forefront. "For now, I am interested to see how this one," she indicated the robed matriarch, "would respond to your kind. Do you have anyone suitable?"_

_He looked at the board and nodded. "I have one soul that is nearly through all my trials, and it has taken her only one millenia. I expect her to complete them this lifetime, and take her place among my platinum sons. This one is strong, and will be a good match for your child." He reached to his right, and picked up a dark haired and eyed figurine, speckled with platinum. She had not fully attained her status as a member of his Silver Hand, but she was close. She would be suitable. _

_She looked up at him in shock, as she took note of the chiseled features and pale complexion. "Is she...?"_

_He merely nodded, and set the figurine next to hers. She sat back in her chair, stunned. In all the years they had known each other and been friends, never before had he...But it wasn't her place to make petty commentary. This child would be suitable._

_"She will do nicely. We must get them together, now. Do you have any ideas?"_

_He smiled, and reached below the table to remove the Book of Ages. "I do, and I think even you will like this one."_

_She stood and walked over to him. She took a seat on the arm of his chair and leaned against his massive shoulder as he opened the book, and together they read through the ancient pages and selected a scenario with which to create an opportunity for their latest experiment._

**-Citadel, Human Embassy**

The cunning and powerful man sat at his console looking over some intelligence logs. He rubbed his temple, and closed his eyes, wishing that he had listened to his mother and become a neurosurgeon instead.

_There is no more stressful job in the galaxy than politics. _

The sound of the door sliding open caused him to look up. He nodded, and stood as Captain Anderson entered the Embassy hall. He had never particularly liked the captain, but he respected the man and the crew that he trained and commanded. Anderson was a capable officer, and an asset to the Alliance. For a mission of this importance, there was no other that Ambassador Udina could trust.

"I don't need to tell you how important this extraction is, Captain."

Anderson nodded, and clasped his hands behind his back as he stood at attention in front of the human diplomat.

"Ambassador Udina, don't worry. I'm sending Commander Shepard in, and I've procured a little extra firepower to help her out."

Udina inwardly groaned. The captain's idea of 'additional firepower' usually included unscrupulous hired talent that always made a mess of things and got expensive equipment destroyed at best, casualties galore at worst. He hadn't forgotten the last fiasco in which the captain had apparently decided that a bounty hunter would be a good choice to accompany a covert operative into a deep cover operation investigating a breach of security at a secure research and development facility on Earth. They had received word that operatives linked with Cerberus had been seen within the perimeter, and Udina had tasked Anderson with finding out what happened.

By the time Anderson's team was done, the entire facility, including the infiltrators, had been sanitized.

"This had better not be another one of those renegade mercenaries you've become so fond of. This matter is too delicate to be trusted to those with no loyalty to anyone or sense of preservation," the ambassador stated, bringing his fist down into the palm of his other hand. "The asari are our greatest and most formidable allies and the fact that one of their most respected matriarchs has been captured and ransomed by thugs led by our own race…" He waved his hand in finality. "This matter must be swiftly and cleanly dealt with. No mistakes."

Captain Anderson nodded.

"Ambassador, we are sending the best in the galaxy after Matriarch Terriana L'Niari. Jane Shepard is a born leader, and this sort of mission requires a specific set of talents… as well as someone who can work outside the system, if necessary."

Ambassador Udina narrowed his eyes. "Just watch how far outside the system you work, Anderson. We can't have a galactic incident with the asari just because you thought one of your bandits could do the job better than our trained military personnel."

Anderson opened his mouth to speak, but Udina waved him off. "No, I don't want to know the details. Just get it done. No mistakes, and retrieve the matriarch alive at _all costs_. Dismissed."

The captain saluted, and then turned on his heel and walked out of the office. He knew better than anyone the capabilities of those under his command, and those… not so under his command.


	2. Chapter 1: Preparation

**Chapter 1: Preparation**

**-**_**Nightmares**_

_Darkness. _

_Silver light. _

_Platinum swords, surrounding a faraway planet, almost mocking her as they danced in lazy circular motions in the distance…_

_Jane looked around her, and could see nothing but silver gravel covering the ground. Everything was completely devoid of color, but bright and reflective nonetheless. The entire world she was on was a house of glass and mirrors, and Jane felt that even the slightest whisper could cause the entire crystalline universe to shatter. She held her breath, and tried to identify her location._

_Her feet were on a path, or what passed for a path, facing the faraway planet in the distance. Jane tried to recall where she had seen it before; perhaps on some datapad at the academy, or perhaps in some science fiction vid, but she couldn't put her finger on it. There was no wind, and no sound disturbing the deep night. Or was it day? Jane couldn't be sure. All seemed to be on the cusp of twilight, in this forsaken land._

_All that she could be sure of was that something was calling her to press forward, and something wanted her to reach that planet with the spinning swords. She was meant to go forward. _

_The swords were singing to her._

_They were calling to her. _

_They wanted her._

_Jane stepped onto the path, and was immediately aware of a presence bearing down on her, trying to block her from moving forward. This wouldn't be easy. One foot in front of the other, she slowly advanced, never taking her eyes off the silver globe waiting for her in the distance. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, almost challenging her unseen foe to try harder. She would overcome it, as she had overcome all things that stood in her way. She would never back down._

_She felt someone calling to her in her mind, with an indistinct voice, but an insistent cadence. It was encouraging her to continue, the rhythm matched itself to her footsteps, and she unconsciously drew from its power to move faster._

Where will I arrive?

_It wouldn't say. She was alone again._

_She didn't know where she would be at the end; all she knew was that the silver planet wanted her, and she had to arrive. She had no choice but to arrive, or all would be lost. _

What all?

_She didn't know that either, and her nameless and faceless host was not forthcoming with any further information. Her feet were as lead, but she forced them to carry her forward, and they reluctantly submitted to her iron will. One foot in front of the other, she pushed forward, and something pushed back. One step at a time, she pushed forward, and something pushed back. The ages swirled in her vision, and she threw her hands in front of her face as if they could shield her from the timeless truths of the universe. She pushed forward, and sweat poured down her brow, soaking her skin and dripping to the ground like platinum teardrops. She closed her eyes, and concentrated all her will on putting one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the… _

_A wave of silver ice shattered the crystalline universe, and carried Jane away into the darkness…_

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Commander Jane Shepard's private rooms<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard woke with a start, covered in sweat. She sat up in the small bunk, and swung her legs over the side, gripping the edge of the bed tightly.

_They are getting worse. The nightmares are getting worse every day. _

Jane had started having these strange dreams shortly after her time on Elysium. Though she hadn't been seriously injured during the Blitz, she had been somehow... changed...

She ran her hands through her short black hair, and tucked it back behind her ears. She looked across the room to her darkened console at her reflection, but it had no answers for her. All she saw were dark eyes staring back at her out of pale skin. She sighed, and shook her head a little bit to clear it.

_I need to get ready for the mission anyway. It's a little early, but it will give me time to get my gear prepared, and maybe calm my nerves a bit. _

She got out of the bed and walked over to a small trunk. She took it with her everywhere, and it held nearly all of her possessions. Clothing, a few datapads, her weapons and armor; everything was stuffed into that small box and carried with her all over the galaxy. She opened it and pushed some datapads aside to reveal a stack of plain black uniforms, neatly folded and carefully pressed. She discarded the casualwear she had worn to bed, and donned the uniform. Then she pulled out a pair of boots, and sat on the bed to polish them. Her weaponry had already been removed from the trunk the previous night and was neatly arranged on a table nearby.

Jane Shepard enjoyed this time alone. It allowed her to reflect on past, and future, missions, and organize her thoughts. She especially liked the silence after nights she had the dreams. Every time she had one, it seemed she awakened with a ringing in her ears and the only thing that was louder was the sound of nothing at all.

_That doesn't make any sense, Jane. Maybe you should get some help…_

She chuckled a little to herself and forced her focus back to the task at hand. She had an important mission to do, and she didn't have time to sit around contemplating whether or not her bad dreams were a sign of madness. This mission was of particular importance, and deserved her full attention. A valuable asari matriarch had been kidnapped and ransomed on her way to the Citadel to meet with Ambassador Udina. Shepard wasn't privy to the particulars of the meeting, but from what she gathered, it was a hot topic and involved the settling of some human colonies in asari space. Ambassador Udina seemed particularly keen on keeping relations with the asari strong. Shepard couldn't blame him; the leader of the council was also a matriarch and they had some of the most formidable warriors in the galaxy. Between the Commandos and the Justicars, Shepard had no doubt that had the asari been a more violent people, the other races would be long since extinct.

So, as was her usual ritual before a mission, she prepared, first polishing her boots and inspecting them for any flaws. Her left ankle was damaged, having suffered trauma during her gang running days when she was yet an inexperienced fighter. She had to ensure that there was no weakness in the reinforced material that allowed her to run as well as anyone with a fully functional ankle. It was too critical to her position as a leader; if she fell her team would surely falter. She couldn't afford to show any weakness.

Next she would turn her attention to her armor, of which she was particularly proud. Few had made it to the rank of Commander at her age, and she took pride in keeping her uniform looking its best. She ran her hands lovingly over some of the more visible dents, recalling the missions that caused them. Rather than replace the pieces with new armor, she preferred to keep the dented equipment as a reminder of what she had been through to reach this point.

With her gear lovingly polished and maintained, her focus now shifted to the weaponry on the table, without which she would have never survived the odds. Cleaning each part carefully and reassembling the pieces invoked visions of that fateful day on Elysium, when she risked everything to repel slavers invading the colony. It was up to her alone, and she rose to the challenge.

_I'll never forget that day. That day I was electric, and I've never felt anything like it. I was unstoppable. I held the entire world in my right hand as I passed judgment with my left, executing my own brand of justice. No one will ever bother that colony again..._

Jane smiled. She had come a long way from the smart-mouthed kid running with gangs she used to be. Now she was a hero, and a Commander in the Alliance navy who was saluted and respected wherever she went. She had it all.

Finishing up her maintenance, she stood and stretched. This mission was going to be one of her toughest yet. She wasn't particularly thrilled about killing living beings in general and humans in particular, but she was given an order and it was her duty to lead this extraction. This was a delicate situation, and despite the imminent danger, she was looking forward to being reunited with her former gang leader.

She lay on her bunk and thought about the last time she had seen her friend. It was at the Flux, and they had both been drinking heavily. Jane had teased her about still being single, and the woman had just laughed it off and murmured something about being too much for any one person to handle. Then they both ordered another round, and Jane watched her friend weave her way onto the dance floor and almost immediately be swarmed by asari. They must have seen something in her genes that they wanted, yet the commander could never recall a time where she actually saw the mysterious mercenary leave with one. Actually, she couldn't think of a time when the woman had left with _anyone_. She smiled to herself; it was funny how despite the very different paths they had taken since running with the gangs all those years ago they still managed to stay in touch.

Jane Shepard stood, stretched, and picked up her weaponry, attaching each piece securely to her armor. It was time to go get her team ready for the mission. They had to get mobilized right away and there wasn't a whole lot of opportunity to sit down and plan. She needed to make the most of the time she had, and that meant checking with her teammate before they departed to make sure that she didn't need any supplies. It wouldn't be wise to go in unprepared, and she had access to resources her mechanic friend didn't have. Straightening her uniform and looking once in the mirror to ensure everything was in place, she turned on her heel and exited the room to go find Danger.

* * *

><p><strong>-Colloquia SR1 Garage<strong>

It was a magnificent beast. Eight massive wheels in total spanning three flexible segments, the machine was a sight to behold. It was rare that the occasion rose where such a vehicle was appropriate, as most extractions happened on distant worlds where the atmosphere was dangerous at best; deadly at worst. This mission was different, however; and there was no way the mercenary extraction specialist was going to pass it up. This mission meant visiting home, and retirement as a legend.

Home. It was a word that lost its meaning long ago; for since discovering her unique talents for driving and rescuing, she had sold her services and rescued some of the most influential people across the globe, and later, the galaxy. She hadn't been to Earth in months, instead jumping from ship to ship selling her services. Smiling to herself as she ran her hands along the custom striping of her CamMech 3, inspired in part by ancient muscle cars humans used to drive, she congratulated herself on landing the biggest job of her lifetime; extracting an asari matriarch. Not only had the Alliance sought out Darla "Danger" Vance personally, but they had even offered an honorary position in the military should she succeed.

Of course, she had no interest in joining up with the Alliance. It was bad enough she was getting stuck with her old gang-turned-hero pal Jane Shepard; she didn't want to be obligated to actually follow her orders as well. No, she liked things how they were, but the offer was certainly nice. The money was _definitely_ nice.

Settling herself in the driver's seat, relishing the lack of a protective roof and other environmental protection considerations, she pressed in the clutch several times.

_Hmm, hydraulics could use some work. I'd better look at that._

Gas next. Felt fine. Brakes? No issues there. Steering? Little loose. All to be expected, since this vehicle hadn't seen service in several years. Even though it was her favorite, she couldn't use it on most worlds.

Danger was fond of old technology. While everyone else was using touch screens and Omni-tools, she preferred the solid feel of easing off the clutch and leaning on the gas, feeling the vehicle respond. It felt almost like a lover – if she moved at just the right moment, in just the right place, she could almost feel the machine surrender to her command and beg her for direction. It was exhilarating.

That wasn't to say that she was a luddite – she programmed an experimental AI to handle monitoring of the mechanical systems and a few extra tweaks to enhance her admittedly limited biotic ability; just a few additions to help with navigating terrain. She just preferred the way manual controls handled and shot adrenaline through her body with every shifting of the gears. All in all, she and her rovers were a team, and all but unstoppable.

Hopping out of the seat, she grabbed a toolbox from a nearby workbench and set to work. This was the biggest job of her life, and everything had to be in top shape. As she removed mechanical parts in order to reveal the master cylinder, she thought about everything that led her to this point. Ten years ago… _gosh had it been that long? _She was driving along near some space station or another and heard commotion coming from a nearby garage. Slavers were ushering in captured villagers that looked rather important. Of course, Danger never kept up with political affairs, so she had no idea who they were. What she did know, was that they were human, and the slavers were alien, and that was a no-no. She brought the rover sharply around, and circled back to a hill just beyond the fence closing off the station. They hadn't seen her, and probably wouldn't have been worried if they had.

It was the first time she'd ever felt _that rush. _Bringing the vehicle to the bottom of the hill, she just let the engine idle and closed her eyes, occasionally revving it and reveling in the vibrations it caused. She waited. Not yet, it wasn't time yet. Left foot firmly on clutch, right foot just hovering over the gas, she waited, and tensed, caressing the wheel gently, almost as if it was her lover; she waited.

The slavers finished loading the cargo, and moments later Danger saw the opening she was looking for. As the ship slowly started to rise above the fencing, preparing to launch into space, Darla "Danger" Vance let off the clutch, punched the gas, and the heavy rover responded with a resounding snap that propelled it up the hill, up through the air, and back down directly on the cockpit, forcing the nose of the ship back down and damaging the thrusters in the process. The whole thing crashed to the ground.

She grabbed a small pistol, and turned around in the seat, aiming for the now opening doors. She wasn't a very good shot, but this was a small ship and the slavers were easy pickings as they exited the doorway single file. One, two, three, five, seven, they all fell to stealthy shots to various points in the back. All that was left were the pilots, and perhaps one or two on the inside.

She hopped down from the vehicle, entered the small ship, and noticed that the captured humans had already dispatched the last two guards. They weren't completely helpless; just initially outgunned. She headed for the cockpit, and found the pilot dead, her rover having smashed neatly through the protective and reinforced glass to crush him.

_Unbelievable_.

The repairs to the rover would take months, but in the end it was worth it.

One male stepped forward and asked her name.

_Darla_.

_Thank you Darla. I am Senator William Mason. What you have done here today is nothing short of heroic. Indeed, it is one of the most dangerous rescue attempts of our time. Tell me, who is your handler?_

_Handler?_

_Who sent you?_

_Well, I was just driving by…_

She remembered the look of shock on his face, and she couldn't help but grin. For the next year, tales of the dangerous rescue of the human senator circled the globe and earned her the nickname she wore proudly to this day. It was then she realized that extractions were what she was born to do.

_This cylinder needs to be replaced. I'm sorry old girl; I really should maintain you better. _

Throwing the useless scrap of metal away, she pulled herself out from under the heavy machine and went off in search of new parts.


	3. Chapter 2: Assembling the team

**Chapter 2: Assembling the Team**

**-Citadel, Docking level**

Commander Jane Shepard strode down the walkway with the regal bearing and presence that only a military officer of her stature could command. As she walked through the docking level toward the Colloquia, a small ship that frequently was commissioned to perform tasks such as this, she thought about how to approach her temporary alliance with the mercenary extraction specialist. Captain Anderson had made it clear that the commander was in charge of the mission, but that latitude was necessary and she should give Danger room to work.

_I wonder exactly how much latitude he is expecting me to give her… _

She wasn't used to people not following orders, but the mercenary had more than proven her loyalty to humanity and Jane was reasonably sure that they would be able to work together. In addition, they had a pretty long history, so she already knew of some of the other woman's quirks and personality flaws. Danger may have been several years older than the commander, but that hadn't stopped them from becoming fast friends and all but inseparable in the old days. They had drifted apart when Jane had joined the military and Danger had decided to roam the galaxy mercing herself out, but they always caught up a few times a year for drinks at the Flux and made sure to send random updates via message.

Jane reached the docking bay where the Colloquia was housed and looked up at the machine. It wasn't as sleek as some of the other ships in the area, time and space debris having worn away the once brightly painted letting on the hull, but the engines were solid and the captain experienced. It would get them to Earth to perform the extraction, and get them back out alive. The Alliance might not have been sending their best vessel, but they were sending one that could certainly do the job.

She entered the ship and greeted the captain, a jovial man named Ned who had seen at least seventy winters. He grinned widely at her, and saluted. He was often paired with Danger on her extraction assignments, as he was retired military and the Alliance liked to keep tabs on her in case she went rogue. So far she had stayed just on this side of Alliance law, but Jane Shepard had seen enough betrayal in her short life to know that sometimes even people with the best of intentions can be confused and later, corrupted. Keeping Ned nearby and using him to 'assist' with missions meant the Alliance could rein the mercenary in if she went too far across the line, and take all the credit if she managed to do something impossible.

_That second part is particularly important, huh Udina?_

The vessel wasn't anything fancy and certainly wasn't anywhere near the class of ship that the commander was used to serving on, but it was one of the fastest in the galaxy. That lent itself well to Danger's chosen profession, and since the Colloquia had been retired from active service, the Alliance had no problems with using it for these sorts of missions. This tin can may have been no Normandy, but it would get the job done. Besides, the ship wasn't doing the rescuing; Jane and Danger were. All it needed to do was get the two humans to Earth.

She made her way down to the garages. Danger was there, as expected, on the ground underneath some sort of all-terrain vehicle. Jane crossed her arms and smiled at the sight of her old friend's legs sticking out from under it.

_Some things just never change. _

"Well would you look at this grease monkey. Don't you ever get tired of doing that crap yourself?"

Danger, grinning like an idiot, slid out from under the vehicle and hopped to her feet. Wiping her hand on her repair cover all, she offered it to the commander.

"Jane! Gosh, I didn't think it was possible for you to get any uglier. What's with the collar?"

The commander shook her old friend's hand and smiled. "Eh, you know the military. Have to look top notch when parading around the Citadel." Looking at her now smudged hand, she grabbed a nearby cloth to wipe it off.

"Indeed. Another reason I'll never join up."

Jane looked at the taller woman and shrugged.

"It's not all that bad. They feed you, pay you, and occasionally even compliment you. The brass would fully fund your missions if you did join up with us. Weapons, armor, ships, the works. They'd probably even give you a budget for these tin cans you call rovers," she said, nodding to the CamMech 3.

"They'd also tell me how to do my job and strip me of my authority the second I didn't play ball or they felt they could do it better." Danger shook her head. "No Jane, you will see. You are being catapulted to the top right now, but it won't be long before you reach the summit and the only place left to go is back down."

"Well we'll just see about that. For now, let's talk about this mission. Were you briefed?"

"Briefed enough. Human mercs, probably pirates or something. Caught themselves an asari. Is that the right of it?" she said, turning back to her repairs.

"Well, that's some of it. This asari is of particular importance to the Alliance, and it's imperative that we get her out alive and unharmed. Do you hear me Danger? _Alive, and unharmed._"

Danger turned and leaned against the rover, crossing her arms and one leg over the other. "Yea yea, I know. I hear you. Listen, this is the biggest job of my life too you know. With this paycheck and the notoriety, I'll be able to set up on Omega for life. Everyone will be falling at my feet in worship. I bet even that bitch ruler won't be able to resist me."

"Going blue? I thought you weren't into that."

"I'm not, actually. But you have to admit, that would be one hell of a conquest, no?"

The commander just rolled her eyes. She may not have known everything there was to know about Danger's past before they met, but they had kept in contact over the years and occasionally had drinks when Jane's shore leaves coincided with the mercenary's lulls between extractions. In all that time, she'd never seen the driver so much as look twice at an asari despite them throwing themselves at the tall blonde woman. Jane didn't understand it herself, but just chalked it up to Danger probably being only interested in males or something. Maybe some traumatic event caused her to shut down in the face of intimacy. She didn't know, and in any event she didn't push the matter and Danger never offered up information on her personal life. Danger was in love with her machines, but as long as she got the job done the commander didn't care if she decided to wed a paper towel.

"Do we want a third man for the team?"

"Maybe. We'll need at least a shuttle on standby. This old girl," Danger said giving the car a slap, "will get us in and out of the compound, but after that we'll need to get off the planet ASAP. I've put a lot of upgrades into these cars over the years, but I don't think any of them have learned to fly into outer space yet."

"I'll make the arrangements. Is there anything else you need?"

Danger just grinned idiotically. "Ever the same, Jane. Already treating me like a crew member, asking about my needs, making sure I'm ok. I'm touched."

"Oh shut up. Do you need anything or not? Last call."

"Hmm. No actually I think I'm all set. Had to replace some parts on the old girl, but she's as good as new. You just make sure we have a pilot for that shuttle and the bay door is wide open, and we'll go get us an asari."

"All right, I'll be in my quarters if you need anything."

"Commander, is that an offer?" Danger grinned roguishly, eliciting another eye roll from her old friend. "Ha, I made you blush. You really need to get laid. After this you should take some shore leave and come to Omega with me. They are loaded with blue, just the way you like them: naked."

The commander grinned and shook her head. Danger would never change. "I'll take a raincheck on that one. Let's deal with one thing at a time. We have an assignment."

"Well think about it. Open door offer!" she said, turning back to her repairs and waving a wrench. "I'll see you later, Jane. Forgive me if I don't salute."

Commander Jane Shepard nodded, and left the garages, heading towards the communication center to go over the latest intel on the mission.


	4. Chapter 3: Isolation

**Chapter 3: Isolation**

**-Earth, undisclosed location**

It was cold. Or was it hot? The elder asari couldn't really tell. It did smell awful, though.

_Humans. Disgusting. _

She snorted derisively, wondering what fool notion had caused her to embark on this trip in the first place. She wasn't interested in furthering human development. In fact, she wasn't interested in humans at all, but Benezia had insisted that she attend this meeting with their ambassador. And now here she was, locked in a filthy cell, captured by a pack of the bloodthirsty bandits while en route to the Citadel, waiting for her fate.

Matriarch Terriana L'Niari was just coming into the final stage of her life, having aged to 700 only this past year. As such, the older women were starting to prep her to take a more active role in the shaping of asari society. There was even talk of making her the next Councilor. She was a good candidate, having never bonded nor had children. There would be no conflicts. She was poised and ready to take the reins, fully prepared to take her place as the figurehead of the asari nation.

_Although, being ready to take the reins is what got me into this situation…_

She sat there, meditating. Listening.

_Silence. _

It was a little too silent. She couldn't tell if she was up or down, really. It felt like she might have been in a tower, but she couldn't remember what had happened when she and her advisor, a turian accountant named Rolus, had been captured.

_I should have seen to the security arrangements myself. I should have accepted those commandos Benezia offered. Why didn't I? Why was I so foolish?_

She couldn't think about that now. She was here, and all she could really do was hope that the council would send someone after them. Surely the bandits had made their demands by now, and it would only be a matter of time before the ransom was paid. The humans probably wanted money. If they had wanted her dead, they would not have killed only the guards. The council or the asari government would eventually pay. She just had to keep quiet and not provoke her captors until then. As much as she would have liked to raze this building to the ground, she couldn't risk exposure. Calming herself, she listened, hoping to hear something… anything that would help her to determine her location.

_Silence._

It was deathly silent, except for maybe the whisper of some far off machinery. There was nothing at all to help her gauge where she was; nothing at all to give her clues as to what surrounded her.

She knew nothing beyond the pale light emanating from the small corner lamp.

At least it gave her time to reflect on how she got into this predicament…

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana L'Niari's offices<strong>

Matriarch Terriana looked at her turian advisor, and considered her options. She drummed her fingers on the large purewood desk she sat behind, and thought very carefully about her next move. The older women were starting to send her to diplomatic meetings more and more often, and this time she was being sent to the Citadel to barter with the humans. Rolus merely stood there quietly, waiting for her to speak, as he knew her well enough to know that she was determining just how far indebted to Matriarch Benezia she really wanted to be over this ordeal.

"Rolus, we will need a security transport, as well as passage to the Citadel. I am to meet with the ambassador in six days' time."

"So, you aren't going to accept her offer then."

"And why would I? She is merely throwing her wealth and influence around, offering me those commandos. It is disgusting. We will be fine on our own. I expect that you can handle the arrangements?"

"Yes, I will take care of everything. Is there anything else that you require?"

"No, Rolus. You may leave. I must dress and reflect."

"Of course. I will return when the arrangements have been made." He left the room and made his way through the halls to perform his task. He had been the matriarch's assistant for almost his entire adult life, and was now in his twilight years. He had pledged to serve Terriana after her mother had passed, and had remained on Thessia when he came of age. When he was but an infant, he was abandoned by his father and rescued by the elder L'Niari. He was raised on the asari home world, and served the matriarch out of appreciation for the sacrifice and risk her mother had taken to save him.

_Why does Benezia insist on this meeting with the humans? Why must she be so vague? Well, I suppose when I take my place among the elders, I will have the luxury of being so vague. Then I can select a younger asari to manipulate and confuse._

She chuckled at that, and then caught herself.

_Not becoming of a matriarch, Terriana. You must always be in control, especially since…_

No, she wouldn't dwell on that. It had been centuries. Nobody knew, and nobody would, not until she was ready. It would be on her terms, or not at all. She adjusted the mantle and long robes she always wore, ensuring they completely covered her back, and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

_Do I even look old enough for this?_

No, in truth she didn't. She looked like she was barely hitting her matron stage, her light blue skin and the faint circular patterns high on her cheekbones seeming out of place in a woman of her advanced years. Yet here she was, seven hundred years old, and poised to take control of the entire galaxy.

_Any regrets?_

Perhaps, but none that could be righted or changed now. She had made her choices, lived her life, and had come out of it all none the worse for wear. Now she needed to prepare to take the reins, and guide the asari to a better life.

_That also means political jockeying with other races, including humans, Terriana._

She couldn't think about that now. This was only the first of many meetings, and she needed to focus on the task at hand. Udina wanted to move some colonies into asari space. They were small colonies, but colonies nonetheless. She didn't think that the humans were trying to take over, but she was concerned about lawlessness and the possibility of Justicar interference. With the Justicars flying about, it seemed that no human colony would be safe. After all, they were all criminals, were they not?

_Udina doesn't know what he is asking, or what he is potentially subjecting his people to._

All that could be discussed at the meeting, though. She had prepared a lengthy and very boring speech regarding the history of the Justicars, and it was her hope that Udina would withdraw the request before she got halfway through it. Despite her personal distaste for humans, she didn't necessarily want to see entire colonies fall to the biotics of the asari law bringers. That would just incite the irrational creatures to war. She heard her assistant returning and left off her reflections to move to the dresser and lay out her clothes for the evening.

"Terriana, all the arrangements are made. We depart tonight."

"Thank you Rolus. Have the house girl come and pack my things. I will see you later on, after the evening meal."

"Of course." He nodded to her, and then left to seek out the house girl, Larissa.

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Undisclosed location<strong>

_This isn't really Benezia's fault. I should have accepted those commandos, and I shouldn't be sparring with her over nonsense like wealth and status. It really is ridiculous how we all behave sometimes._

No, it wasn't Benezia's fault at all. It was her own fault for not taking a more active stance in hiring security, and for rejecting the spiritual leader's generous offer. It was her own fault for not trusting Benezia, and thinking her an enemy instead of the long standing ally the T'Sonis had been to the L'Niaris. She certainly regretted it now, anyway. As disorganized as human pirates usually were, these made quick work of the turian bodyguards Rolus had hired, and took both her and her assistant into custody. She didn't dare use biotics to defend herself, lest she be exposed… Well she couldn't deal with that now. She made her decision, and she had to live with it. Terriana had never learned any close quarters fighting techniques, and because of her long hours spent indoors just watching the others train, she was now a captive.

_Maybe I will start carrying a pistol. How long have I been here? Hours? Days?_

Yes, it had almost assuredly been days since she had been isolated in this room. She didn't know where Rolus was, but suspected he was nearby. They had both been taken together. They had recognized he wasn't a guard immediately, and she could only assume that they thought he was another dignitary she was traveling with.

_Well, Rolus has always been a snappy dresser._

Her captors didn't come in often, but when they did she could sense the derision. Their hatred of her was almost tangible. But, she didn't like them any more than they liked her. That was perfectly ok with Matriarch Terriana.

They only visited to send a video feed to the council to show them the matriarch still lived and to feed her. She knew that wouldn't last much longer, though. She could sense them starting to get… restless. The council had better do something and soon, or Terriana was going to have to do something she really, _really_ didn't want to do.

But that was still at least a little ways off. For now, she would meditate, and attempt to identify her location.

_Breathe. _

Silence.

_Breathe._

She heard a whisper.

_Relax._

The whisper got louder.

_Breathe. Think. Feel._

Louder still.

_Let go. Hear the universe._

The whisper became a hum.

_Heed the call. Feel the air._

The hum became a drone.

_Where am I?_

The drone became insistent.

_Embrace Eternity._

And the world dropped out from beneath her.


	5. Chapter 4: A nice tall glass of STFU

**Chapter 4 – A nice tall glass of STFU**

* * *

><p><strong>-Colloquia SR1 Garage<strong>

_Dear god, why did I say that? Of all the things I could have said… Why did I say THAT?_

Her words kept coming back to haunt her. This was supposed to be her legacy, the biggest job of her life, the last thing for the universe to remember Darla "Danger" Vance by before she retired somewhere on Omega to enjoy the rest of her days in blessed debauchery.

She knew that it had been the wrong thing to say the moment it left her lips, but what could she do? How could she have been expected to think straight after plunging thousands of feet out of a building, _twice_, first with an asari matriarch in her arms, and again with a god awful heavy turian, and having less than a second to get everyone ready for the rover to launch?

_Buckle up everyone… especially you, beautiful!_

She remembered the scandalized look on the asari's face. It was actually kind of comical, but in retrospect this was one situation where humor wasn't going to save her. It was the most unprofessional thing she could have possibly said under the circumstances, and if the matriarch made a complaint, well that would be it. No honorary heroic medal, no induction into the ranks of the pseudo-alliance, no tales of danger and wonder about the escape against all odds that saved the human pact with the asari.

_Buckle up everyone… especially you, beautiful!_

What the hell was she thinking, anyway? That matriarch was old enough to be her... ancestor.

_Gosh._

_Although she has aged rather well_, Danger mused, remembering the pattern of her facial markings, being slightly fainter than most and only lightly circling her cheeks. There wasn't a lot of time to study them, but having the woman's face in such close proximity did afford her at least a few moments of close up examination. The markings were distinct, but certainly not dark and harsh like she had seen on some of those scary ass Justicars. She briefly wondered if they covered the entirety of the asari's body, before slapping herself.

_No. What the hell is the matter with you? Are you insane? _

Insane? Perhaps. It certainly was insane that while she had met literally hundreds of asari in her travels, and even rescued one or two, before now she'd never even given them a second glance. Now here she was, reduced to a blathering idiot by one that's already seen more lifetimes than her and Jane's living generations combined.

_Buckle up everyone… especially you, beautiful!_

Leaning her head back against the headrest, she replayed the events in her mind…

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Last Corsair Compound<strong>

"According to the intel, that's the compound." Commander Jane Shepard was studying a datapad intently, matching up the landmarks with the information Alliance operatives had provided.

"There's not a whole lot of breathing room on that mountain, Jane."

"No, there isn't."

"I don't suppose they will just let us in. Maybe we can deliver a pizza?"

The commander looked at Danger, then back at the compound. "It's probably got just as much chance of success as any other plan we can come up with."

Danger hoisted herself onto the hood of the rover, and rested her chin thoughtfully in her hands. "No way there's enough room for a proper drop, not without being seen well beforehand. They would have too much time to prepare. They picked a perfect spot to hole up, that's for sure."

"Well, we need answers, not more commentary. You're the extractions expert; how are we getting in?"

"I'm working on it."

"Work faster. The ambassador can only delay the ransom for so much longer, and you know the second the creds are transferred, the matriarch is dead. The asari are pushing for the council to pay, but they don't understand how human mercenaries work."

The corner of Danger's lip twitched at the thinly veiled insult, but she let it slide. She knew her friend didn't mean to hurt her by it, and it was true that human mercenaries as a rule were generally ruthless. "I know. Listen, this is a little risky, but I've been working on something that might just get us up that mountain…"

The commander shut off the datapad and turned to the extraction specialist. "Something about your tone tells me I'm really not going to like this, but I don't have any other options. This is your field of expertise. Get us onto that mountain. The intel indicates that they are holding her in that central building; the one that's right next to that explosives warehouse. I'm guessing they have a contingency plan in case of trouble, so whatever you do it had better get us right on top of that structure. We won't have much time before they realize what's going on and deal with the evidence."

"Well, it should get us close enough, anyway. It's a little biotics trick I have been working on with..."

The commander groaned. Danger's ability with biotics was notoriously bad, almost as bad as Jane's own nonexistent driving skills. If this plan involved biotics, they were all in trouble.

"No listen, I'm really making progress! You see, I found a way to…"

The commander held up a hand. "No, I don't want to hear about it, Danger. It's better if I don't. This is the only shot we are going to get, and we need to get on it now. We are running out of time."

"All right Jane. Get in and buckle up. This ain't no merry-go-round"

The commander strapped herself into the passenger seat, and drew her assault rifle. She looked at Danger and nodded her readiness, and the extraction specialist started backing the rover up.

"Danger, that's the wrong way."

"I know."

"Why are we going the wrong way?"

"Just wait."

"Why are we still going the wrong way?"

"You said you didn't want to know."

She _had_ said that.

"You had better close your eyes, Jane."

She wanted to, but she needed to be alert and ready to fire. She knew that Danger was no soldier, and while her driving, climbing, and running skills might have earned her the title of best extraction specialist in the galaxy, they were heading into a camp of fully armed and organized mercenaries. This was not one of Danger's leisurely stealth operations, where she was recovering some object of value or rescuing victims from slavers and had plenty of time to plan, prepare, and get a team in place. This _was_ the team. This was no joke, and it had to happen now.

"Danger, just go."

"All right Jane. Don't piss your pants!"

And with that, Darla "Danger" Vance eased off the clutch and leaned on the gas. The rover lurched forward, and suddenly Commander Shepard understood exactly what her friend had in mind. She said a silent prayer to whatever gods might be listening as the rover plunged straight off the cliff and descended into the valley below.

"Primary charging, Secondary standby…"

The commander didn't have time to wonder what the hell Danger was doing. She secured her rifle with one arm and held onto the side of the rover with the other.

The AI burst to life. _Picking up speed, Danger. _

"I know that… Primary Charged. Secondary Charging."

_Impact in 10.5 seconds._

"Secondary charged. Primary ready."

_Impact in 8 seconds_

It was only now that Jane looked over at Danger and noticed that a blue glow enveloped her and was surrounding the vehicle, funneling into a point just under the hood.

_Impact in 6 seconds._

"Wait for it…"

_Impact in 3 seconds_

Now the commander was getting nervous. In another split second, their mission would be over, and all the preparation, time, intelligence gathering, and negotiations would be for nothing. She couldn't believe that she was really going to die in a car at the bottom of a valley with this idiot.

_Impact in 1.5 seconds_

"RELEASE PRIMARY CHARGE, NOW!"

Jane's stomach dropped as the vehicle hit a massive biotic field, and started to propel back up and forward. She saw the compound racing into view, but it wasn't quite enough. They wouldn't make it, they were just short, the rover was falling…

"RELEASE SECONDARY CHARGE, NOW!"

The rover lurched upward again, and Danger flipped a switch to ignite an afterburner that propelled them forward. They hit the ground hard, and she slammed the brakes and turned the wheel to the right, crashing sidelong into the building where Alliance Intelligence had reported the matriarch was being held.

The commander wasted no time. They had the element of surprise, but it wouldn't take long for the Last Corsairs to realize they were being invaded and mobilize. She gathered her thoughts, hopped out of the vehicle and ran to the entrance. A few moments later, she had bypassed the security on the door using a hacking scanner the Alliance had provided, and was running through the hallways searching for the matriarch.

Danger had her own problems. The landing had blown a tire, and the vehicle was currently embedded in the side of the building. Debris rained down on her head, and she tried to brush it out of her hair.

"I guess this is why Jane keeps that stupid military cut. Gosh." She shook her head a couple times, and then secured her long hair once again at the base of her neck.

Slamming the car into reverse, she pumped the gas a few times and forced her way back out. Bringing the vehicle back around and pointing it in the direction they came, she instructed the AI to lock systems to Voice Actuation Mode, and exited the vehicle to help her friend.

"DIDI, eject that tire while you are at it," she called over her shoulder, and the vehicle promptly ejected the broken tire. "Compensate by shifting drive train to front end."

The car dealt with, Danger pulled her pistol and ran to help the commander. Jane was taking heavy fire, but was holding her own. Danger slid in beside her. "How many?"

"Ten, maybe more."

"Pity. I was hoping this would be a challenge."

The commander smiled weakly, and then returned to firing. Her aim was impeccable. One, two, three, they fell so easily. She felt rather than saw Danger flank the group, firing wildly, and one more fell despite the driver's terrible aim.

_Well, at least she managed to hit them instead of me. I probably should have taken her guns. She belongs in the car, not in here. _

Jane dispatched the rest with a skillfully thrown grenade, and they made their way to the second level, scanning the area for any sign of a prison or a holding area. Nothing.

"Split up?"

"Not a good idea. Not here. We are outnumbered and we don't want them to catch either of us alone. We stick together. Keep moving."

"Yes, Commander."

That was refreshing. For once, the merc didn't argue or have something smart to say, and she was using Jane's rank title to boot. Glancing at her friend, she thought she detected a hint of terror.

_She's probably never been under fire this heavy before. Most of her operations are covert, not direct. Damn it, I should have gone over some drills with her or something. I should have known she wouldn't be able to handle a direct confrontation. She should have stayed at the damn car…_

But Commander Jane Shepard could teach direct on a university level, and these so-called Last Corsairs could certainly benefit from a few lessons. Taking the lead and hoping that her confidence would steady the mercenary, she moved swiftly from vantage point to vantage point, in and out of cover. Just as Danger danced with her cars, Jane Shepard danced with bullets.

There were only about ten guards in the corridor. Jane grabbed Danger's shirt and threw the woman behind some crates.

"Stay there, I'm going to clear this out."

Danger just nodded, and gripped her pistol, ready to move if Jane told her to.

Jane turned back to the human bandits firing at her, lowered her head slightly, and grinned roguishly.

_Oh, this is going to be so much fun._

Jane Shepard lived for battle. She had never told anyone, but secretly, the best day of her life was that day on Elysium, when she had been on shore leave. It was the single most exhilarating day of her entire existence. A band of mercenaries had invaded the human colony, and the civilians were frightened and panicking. Jane gathered the best of them, gave them a crash course in military tactics, and staged them in various tactical positions to cover what was supposed to be her heroic suicide mission. When she was satisfied they knew their parts, she turned around, powered up her assault rifle, and slowly advanced straight into the oncoming pirates. She felt the gunfire around her, but nothing seemed to even graze her skin. Rolling from side to side, she closed her eyes and allowed the sound of battle to guide her. Platinum light seemed to leap out of her weapon, and a translucent silver shield paved her path though the firefight. Afterward, the colonists swore that Jane had turned into some sort of platinum god, but the commander just shook her head and smiled.

_I was just doing my duty, sir._

Now, every time she faced down an enemy, she drew from the bloodlust and the rage of that day, and it focused her into a surgical blade of warfare, a magnificent instrument of destruction. She danced in and out of cover, holding her weapon almost as a lover would and gently caressing the trigger as she sighted her opponents down the barrel. Jane had a gift, and she barely had to glance at her target and it seemed that was where the bullet would go. Her honed body knew just how to hold the weapon, just how to roll with the recoil, and just how to angle her hand at the last second to send the projectile directly to where she desired. That very first day the Alliance put a rifle in her hands, she knew she had found her calling. The weapon wasn't just a piece of metal, forged for the destruction of life. It was an extension of her arm, designed to augment her already magnificent form. It was a part of her, and she felt that her body had been designed as much for the gun, as the gun had been designed just for her.

One by one, she took the bandits down. One by one, she cut a path through the hallway, moving forward swiftly and neatly. Danger just watched in rapt fascination. Jane looked like a bolt of lightning, a pristine platinum ray that left nothing but righteous destruction in her wake. It was breathtaking.

Jane motioned to her friend to move up, and Danger scrambled to her feet, trying to gather her wits.

"There's nothing on this floor, Danger. Let's try that staircase." She indicated a doorway across the large room they were in, and her friend nodded. Jane led the way to the door, and used her hacking tool to bypass the security. Clasping her friend on the shoulder in what she hoped was a reassuring grip, she started up the stairs.

"There's no security on this floor," She noted.

"No, there isn't. I wonder why?"

"No idea. Keep moving. There's another stairway over there. We must be getting close."

Once again, Jane produced the scanning tool, and the lock clicked open. "They aren't using very good security here."

"Well, maybe they didn't expect anyone to actually come after this asari."

"It's possible. Let's get to the next level." Jane readied her weapon as they ascended the stairs, fully expecting to come face to face with another batch of mercenaries. She looked to the left and the right, but didn't see anything threatening. There was nothing but some raw materials and discarded weapons on this floor. The commander pulled a datapad out of a pocket. "She's going to be on one of these floors. According to the intel, this building was only five stories high."

"Princess at the top of the tower, huh? How romantic." Danger rolled her eyes, and double checked the action on her gun. "Let's get this over with before I start weeping." she said, with forced cheerfulness.

Commander Shepard nodded, but then held a hand up. "Wait… Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Shh…" She strained to hear… It was a whisper…. It was a hum… No, more like a drone…

She listened, and waited, and the world came crashing down upon them.

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Last Corsair Compound, Crumbling Ruin<strong>

_Breathe. _

Silence.

_Breathe._

She heard a whisper.

_Relax._

The whisper got louder.

_Breathe. Think. Feel._

Louder still.

_Let go. Hear the universe._

The whisper became a hum.

_Heed the call. Feel the air._

The hum became a drone.

_Where am I?_

The drone became insistent.

_Embrace Eternity._

And the world dropped out from beneath her.

The matriarch opened her eyes and looked up. Something had happened. Something was different. She was on her back. How did that happen? Rolus was nearby, groaning and trying to pick himself up. Suddenly there were voices and boots stomping.

"She's there! There! Grab her, Danger! I'll get this one!"

"Well I guess we know why there was no security on these floors. They had the place wired up to blow!"

"Just get the asari, Danger!"

Then she was being lifted by a strange human. Instinctively, her arms went around her rescuer's neck. It wasn't muscular, but it was strong. Clearly female, yet there was no hesitation as she was lifted out of the rubble. The human was apparently very strong.

"The stairway is knocked out. Shit. Jane, we have no way out."

The commander looked around for options. The stairs were crumbling; there was no way the elevators were going to work. The ceiling was holding on by a thread. It was pure luck that the floor above them didn't crush them both when the asari and turian came crashing through. Half the floor on this level was missing. The entire place had been blown to bits and fires were rampaging everywhere.

Jane tried dragging the turian, but his leg was broken and he was too heavy. She was the best in a firefight, but she couldn't move a turian his size without help, and Danger was already carrying the matriarch.

"Leave me. Get the matriarch out of here. I'll never forgive myself, if she doesn't make it."

"I'm getting you out too."

"NO." Rolus pushed Shepard away violently and held onto a crumbling column. "Get her out of here, NOW!"

The commander only took another moment to decide, and then started running towards Danger.

"Commander, there's no way down."

"There's one way down, come on!"

Running side by side with Jane, she said, "What are you talking about? There's no way out of here!"

"There's one way out – think rover!" and with that, the commander grabbed Danger by the back of her shirt and flung her out the window. It only took a second to register, and then she heard Danger shout "Primary Charging, Secondary Standby; RELEASE PRIMARY NOW!"

Jane said another silent prayer to any gods that might be listening, and launched herself toward what she hoped would be enough biotic aftershock to cushion her own fall.

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Last Corsair Compound, outside<strong>

It only took a second for Danger to register what the commander meant. She charged, and released, and it wasn't quite as impressive a bounce as it was with the added power of the rover's amps, but it did allow her enough time to twist in midair and land near the vehicle on her back, protecting the matriarch from harm. She lay there a moment, studying the asari diplomat in her arms, and then Jane was crawling up next to her.

"Damn, Jane, how did you know that would work?"

"I didn't. I just hoped there would be enough aftershock. Good job on getting the matriarch out."

"We can't leave a man behind…"

"Danger, we have the package. We have to get moving."

"No, we can't. I have never left a man behind yet, and I don't intend to now." Danger got up and shoved the seemingly unconscious asari onto the commander. "Here, she passed out. Put her in the car, and I'll go back in and get the turian out. There's no one left in there to fire on me. They will all be out here with you now!"

"What am I supposed to do, invite them to tea?" she started to ask, but Danger was already off running.

"This will only take a second!" she shouted over her shoulder, and then she disappeared in the building.

She could do nothing but watch Danger run off, and shake her head. There was no time to worry about her now, though. The Corsairs were mobilizing and the matriarch was vulnerable in the open. Jane pulled open the door to the third segment of the rover and unceremoniously shoved the woman inside. Then she picked up her rifle and began firing at the advancing mercenaries, glancing back at the building every so often.

The matriarch was coming around. She looked outside the vehicle, and saw a human female, but not the one she remembered carrying her. The human was firing at what looked like some very angry mercenaries. She searched for the one she remembered, but saw nothing. Maybe it was a hallucination.

"What is going on?"

"You were kidnapped. We're rescuing you."

"Can you get us out of here?"

"I can't drive this thing. I have no idea what this even is; it's got to be technology from hundreds of years ago."

"Tell the VI to run it then."

"Danger is still in there." The Commander looked at the crumbling building once again for a sign, any sign. Nothing. "Damn. Danger, we can't wait forever. VI, get us out of here!"

"Accessing: Voice verification complete. Commander Shepard, my name is DIDI, not VI. How may I assist?"

"Get us out of here, NOW!" She didn't take time to ponder why the VI seemed to know her voice.

"I'm sorry Commander, but I do not have control over all systems. I am programmed to assist in navigation, repair, and special operations as designed by Operative Danger, but she currently has locked systems to only her commands. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No. Damn it. Figures. Danger probably did it as a precaution so the Corsairs didn't steal or sabotage it."

_Well, it was good planning. I can't be mad at her for protecting our way out. Still, I should have made her program me into that stupid computer. _

"Who is this 'Operative Danger'?"

"The one who is in there trying to save your buddy's ass like an idiot."

So it wasn't a hallucination. Interesting.

Just then, Jane saw an opportunity and grabbed it. The blast had weakened the structure of a nearby water tower and with a few skillful shots from her sniper rifle, the water held inside came crashing down, flooding the compound. It swept most of the mercenaries off their feet, but she knew it wouldn't be long before they regrouped.

"Matriarch, I need to leave you here for a minute. Keep your head down, and just wait for us."

Terriana didn't particularly like being ordered around, especially by humans, but she didn't get a chance to retort. The soldier was already gone.

Jane threw down her sniper rifle and drew her pistol. This was just like Danger, getting herself into an impossible situation, trying to save the world, and fucking everything up in the process. She ran back to the building, and noticed out of the corner of her eye a few muddy Corsairs picking themselves up from the ground. She pumped her legs harder, running up a small hill of debris and praying that her ankle held. She vaulted herself off the apex, twisting in midair, and fired at the three men now advancing on her position. One by one they fell, and Jane grunted and shut her eyes as she hit the ground and slid inside the door to the building.

She picked herself up, checked the action her pistol, and looked around. "Danger! Are you in here?"

"Jane! I'm up here! He's too heavy for me to run with. I think I can move him a little with biotics."

_How did she manage to climb up there? She must have a death wish..._

"Can you drag him to the opening here? Fall off the edge and use the biotics to cushion you! We can both carry him out to the car then!"

"I… I think so Jane."

"Danger, we don't have time to think! Just do it! The matriarch is out in the open!"

"Right!"

Suddenly, the air was electric with the force of a biotic field, and Jane jumped back as Danger and Rolus rolled over the edge and bounced off the cushion. The turian grunted, but didn't cry out. Jane was impressed. His right leg was swollen and bent at an impossible angle. Falling out of the fourth floor of a building probably wasn't the most pleasurable thing that could have happened to him.

"Get him up, Danger." She ran to the turian's side and put his arm around her shoulder, lifting him from the ground. Danger was a few ticks behind, but she did the same to his other. "Come on, we need to get out of here!"

Danger just nodded, and the two women half carried, half dragged, the injured turian out to the vehicle. Danger lifted him over the side, with a little biotic help, and strapped him in as Jane leveled her assault rifle at a small group of advancing mercenaries. Danger marveled at Jane's composure under pressure, and shook her head as she watched the helpless bandits fall to the commander's focused aim. Danger wished she was so graceful with weapons, but the truth was, she was just a mechanic who happened to have a lot of really good luck. Jane was tough, fast, and smart. She didn't rely on luck. She made luck.

"Jane, how do you manage to wipe out entire compounds of mercenaries with a hand gun? I mean, really. Tell me. It's unbelievable."

"Danger, as much as I'd love to discuss my techniques with you, we need to get the hell out of here! This stupid computer of yours wouldn't budge."

"That's my DIDI. Programmed her myself. It's not exactly legal stuff, but it's not exactly illegal either. I call her _Darla's Intelligent and Dangerous Interface_. Do you like it?"

"Charming. Danger, we need to move." Jane vaulted herself over the passenger's side door and strapped into the seat.

"All right Commander. Point taken! Buckle up everyone… especially you, beautiful!" Danger said, glancing at the matriarch who subsequently looked scandalized. "Hold on!"

"DIDI, Voice Actuation Off!"

Danger slammed the car into gear and gunned the gas. The small rover jerked forward and shot straight off the edge of the mountain. They gained speed at an alarming rate, plunging into the depths below.

"Primary charging, Secondary standby…"

DIDI once again burst to life. _Picking up speed again, Danger._

"Primary Charged. Secondary Charging."

_Impact in 10.5 seconds._

"Secondary charged. Primary ready."

_Impact in 8 seconds_

The glow was fainter this time, but it was still there. Jane hoped that Danger hadn't lost too much strength getting that turian out of the building.

_Impact in 6 seconds._

"Wait for it…"

_Impact in 3 seconds_

"Not yet…"

_Impact in 1.5 seconds_

"RELEASE PRIMARY CHARGE, NOW!"

"RELEASE SECONDARY CHARGE, NOW!"

This time, she didn't need the afterburner. The vehicle piggybacked off the charges, spun slightly in the air, and landed on the ridge they originally observed the compound from with plenty of clearance. She brought the vehicle around to view the chaos left in their wake and grinning idiotically, looked back at her charge and said, "All right! Well, that was fun, huh? Better get you back to alliance safety! Get us out of here DIDI!" The car's AI took over, and the vehicle spun itself back around as the extraction specialist reclined in her seat, mission accomplished.

The matriarch's dark blue skin had gone white.

* * *

><p><strong>-Colloquia, Garage<strong>

DIDI skillfully navigated the rover into the shuttle, and soon they were back aboard the Colloquia and en route to the Citadel. The captain had come to escort the matriarch to her quarters, and Rolus had been moved to sickbay for medical treatment of his leg. Commander Shepard had gone to make her report, and that just left Danger alone with her thoughts.

She kept replaying the day over and over in her head, starting with picking up the asari and ending with that scandalized expression on the matriarch's face. No, maybe not so much scandalized as disgusted at the human's comments.

_Well shit, did you really want a suit and tie type coming in there, or did you want me and Jane?_

Danger's lack of professionalism had always been attributed to her informal training and absence from military structure, but the military sure hadn't taught her how to scale a crumbling wall to save a turian. The military wouldn't have let her experiment with biotics and AI the way she did with the CamMech 3.

No, the military wouldn't have really taught her much at all.

_Except how to not sound like an idiot. _

Exactly. How to not sound like an idiot. She shook her head and replayed the scene again. Yep, she still sounded like an idiot. She wondered how her friend always seemed so together. Commander Jane Shepard always controlled the room. Her dark eyes and hair contrasted her light skin and carved features, and for a moment Danger wished she was more like the soldier. Jane Shepard always said the right thing. Jane Shepard never embarrassed herself. Jane Shepard was always in command.

Just then, the commander strode up and interrupted Danger's scattered thoughts.

"So how bad is it, Jane?"

"The matriarch? She's chewing the ambassador out now over how unprofessional and absolutely abhorrent humans are, but she's alive and that means we did our jobs. The brass is happy."

Danger leaned forward and put her head in her hands. "Abhorrent, huh?"

Shepard leaned on the car and said, "Yep, she thinks we are all slugs of the galaxy, especially you. I've got to hand it to you though, Danger. You are the only one in the universe that would actually hit on an asari matriarch while falling out of a building. I've never seen anything like it."

Danger groaned. _Dear god, so it wasn't going unnoticed._

"What possessed you to say that, anyway? I thought for sure that you were in no way, shape or form interested in anything with a blue skin tone."

"I have no idea. I keep replaying the whole thing in my head, and none of it makes sense. Well, the important thing is we got her back to the Alliance, and hopefully she will step up security now. I'm sure she never wants to be rescued by me again. Come to think of it, I actually get that reaction a lot, even when I don't make a pass at the mark." Danger cocked her head to the side thoughtfully.

The commander chuckled.

"Eh, don't worry about it. She will shout for a few hours at the ambassador, and then he will have her smoothed back over again. You know how these diplomats work, they like to piss and moan until someone kisses their ass for a few hours. Like I said, the brass is happy, and they've already transferred your fee plus a bonus for extracting her injury free. No clue how you managed to fall twice without causing injuries to anyone, biotics or no."

Danger just stretched her aching back. "Yea, well I should probably visit the doctor myself and make sure I didn't damage anything permanently. What's next for you?"

"I've been called to the Normandy. No rest for the weary. They aren't telling me much about what's going on, but it looks like it might be big. I'll come visit you on Omega if I have some time. For now, looks like duty calls. I'm sure that you will forget this in no time, with all that money to blow on whores."

"Yea. Come visit me on Omega. Maybe you will be able to find me under the pile of bottles I plan to bury myself in."

"Don't let it get to you Danger. It's not like you move in the same circles. You'll never have to see her again. Besides, I thought you were retiring, anyway. You sure as hell could with the amount of creds I saw them transferring. I had no idea that an idiot like you could be worth that sum of money!"

And with that, the commander left the garage and a weary Darla "Danger" Vance leaned her head back and fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 5: The beginning of the end

_**A/N**_

_I am skipping over some game sequences that I just didn't find particularly relevant, but I wanted to touch on some of the more important parts for the purpose of advancing the Jane\Liara dialogue so they can be put into future situations. If you are reading this, ten to one you can fill in the gaps. I am working through rewriting some of this content._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: The beginning of the end<strong>

**-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters**

So this was what it was like to have the world on one's shoulders. It didn't feel like she thought it would. It felt less certain or clear, and more up in the air. Things were happening that were about to shake the very foundation of civilization, and somehow Jane Shepard had managed to get herself smack in the middle of all of it.

Reclining in her chair, she stared at the ceiling of her cabin and wondered what foul luck had brought this twist of fate upon her.

Suddenly, she was chasing one of the most powerful spectres ever to live across the galaxy, having been promoted to the status recently herself. She was plagued by visions that were more like something out of a nightmare, all because some bizarre obelisk had apparently thought she would be a worthy vessel for its secrets. She had been ordered to fly all over the map to find out what was going on, and stop whatever threat was looming over the universe. It was too much for one woman.

_Well, at least I managed to pick up some good team members._

She thought about the turian and quarian she'd picked up on the Citadel while tracking down leads on Saren. Solid additions, both of them. The quarian seemed especially resourceful, having had the foresight to capture voice logs of not only Saren, but one of his accomplices as well. She wasn't so sure about the krogan, but only time would tell whether he turned out to be an asset or a liability. She especially looked forward to using Tali's hacking skills. Jane was interested in hacking herself, but her skill was nowhere near that of the young engineer's.

She closed her eyes, and thought about what her next move should be. She'd been given three leads, and needed to decide where to go first.

_Well, Saren seemed to be close to that Matriarch Benezia the councilor spoke of. Maybe finding her daughter should be the next step._

Yes, that was a good plan. Matriarch Benezia had been causing everyone no end of grief, and it would certainly be beneficial to speak to someone who was so close to her. The asari doctor might even have some thoughts regarding the other leads, and the more information Jane could gather, the better.

_Ok, that's where we will go next then. We'll find this Liara T'Soni and see what she has to say about it._

She opened her eyes. It was still dark in the cabin, and she had to remind herself that now she was in command. This was _her _cabin now. There was no captain to seek wisdom from. There was no one she could lean on. It was just her, and her crew.

Her crew.

_My crew._

It was still too much. She closed her eyes again and this time wondered briefly what happened to Danger. She hoped the human was getting on well enough in Omega, but couldn't devote much thought to that now. Old friends had to get buried. Danger couldn't help her now. Well, she probably could help with this mission, but Jane got the feeling that anyone not specifically sanctioned by the Alliance was out on this one. That meant no mercenary backup.

She opened her eyes again. She was on her own. She could bring none of her own contacts. She had to play ball, as Danger would have said. And well, play ball she would. She was a good little soldier. She leaned her head to the side and adjusted her earbud.

"Joker, head for Artemis Tau. We have a scientist to find."

"You got it Commander."

Jane stood up, stretched, and then removed her armor. She was weary, and wanted to rest. Laying down on the bed, she wrapped herself around her pillow and closed her eyes.

* * *

><p><strong><em>-Nightmares<em>**

Am I here? I must be here.

_She looked around her. It wasn't the same, but it wasn't different, either. Everything was silver, even the lake of mercury that shimmered with crystalline reflections. Jane looked to her left, and then to her right. There it was; the planet of platinum swords. She could hear the high pitched whine as the blades circled the sphere. It didn't seem any closer this time, but at least it wasn't further away._

Where is the path?

_She looked at the ground, but it wasn't the same as the other time. The other time, there was a clear walkway for her, a place for her to step into and move forward. This time, there was no path. _

Where am I to go?

_She heard the indistinct voice again. It still wasn't clear, but it was urging her to arrive. She covered her ears with her hands, trying to block out the sounds of the spinning swords, hoping that it would help her hear the voice more clearly. She shut her eyes, and fell to her knees. Concentrating, she sent a message with all the mental power and clarity she could muster._

Where must I arrive?

_Silver silence. _

_All went quiet, and it seemed to her that all the swords turned on their sides at her, so they no longer reflected light on the lake of mercury. Darkness covered the land, and she fell forwards onto her hands. The world had quieted, and she almost expected to hear the otherworldly voice scolding her. The voice was angry. She had asked too many questions, and she was too confused. She was supposed to do something, but she didn't know what. She was supposed to arrive somewhere, but she didn't know where. _

_She forced her head up, and looked around her. There was nothing, but silver ground, the silver lake, and… a silver bridge? Or was it more like a dock…_

I must arrive.

_Jane started crawling forward, heading towards the half-constructed bridge. This time there was no force bearing down on her, slowing her movements, but her hands painfully stuck to the platinum soil. It was cold as ice, and it ripped at her skin, rending her flesh. She focused on the bridge, then closed her eyes and concentrated on its location. She didn't need to see it, and she felt that it wouldn't matter whether or not she did. All she had to do was arrive. _

_She gritted her teeth as she got closer to the lake. Her hands were sinking deeply into the soft silver ground, and every time she pulled one out, more of her flesh was left behind. The blood gathered in a hideous trail behind her, marking her passing, but she ignored the pain. _

_It seemed an eternity before she reached the bridge. She was on her forearms now, her hands now too badly damaged to hold her up. She pushed forward, as the platinum structure inserted painful crystalline splinters into her skin. _

I must arrive.

_She opened her eyes, and focused on the planet. The swords were singing again, singing for her. She smiled, and used her knees to propel herself forward. She looked at her broken and deformed hands, and laughed. _

I will arrive. You will see me.

_She braced her feet against the unfinished construct's ledge, and gave a mighty push, propelling herself into the depths of the unknown. She held her hands in front of her, and twisted her body around to gaze up at the planet of swords as she was swallowed by the waters of mercury._

_A wave of silver ice shattered the crystalline universe, and carried Jane away into the darkness…_

* * *

><p><strong><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters, the next night<br>****

Commander Jane Shepard entered her cabin, and immediately threw herself into the chair in front of her console. Today had been one hell of a day and she felt she needed to get it logged, to perhaps help her make some sense of it. Something amazing had happened to her today, and it was the last thing in the universe the young military officer had been expecting. Today, everything about her existence had changed.

She turned on the computer and settled her hands on the keyboard, but then drew them back again.

_Where do I start? Should I even be logging this here? How do I approach this?  
><em>

She wasn't sure. The whole mission had just spiraled completely out of control, and even now that everyone was safe and sound back on the Normandy, she couldn't shake the nervous and anxious feeling she felt.

_Maybe it's because... because... of her. She's affected me somehow... What is going on?_

Jane crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair. Something was happening to her, but she couldn't quite explain what it was or how it started. That asari scientist had awakened something in her, and as she contemplated how to log the information on the mission, she felt her mind wandering and drifting to thoughts of the young woman's smile. She shook her head, hoping to clear it, and leaned forward again.

_Get the log written, Jane. You can think about how to deal with this situation later. Right now, you need to write the damn log!_

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She did have to get the log written, but first she could do something that might help her sort out the car crash of emotions that had been suddenly thrust upon her. She swiped her fingers across the screen, and pulled up her messaging program. She prepared a quick note, and sent it off to the only person in the world who could possibly understand.

* * *

><p><em>Danger<em>

_I don't know what is happening to me, but just at the start of the biggest mission of my life, disaster strikes. I'm beside myself. There's no way my luck can be this bad. I need to chat when you have a moment. _

_Jane_

* * *

><p>Nodding to herself in satisfaction as she pressed the send button, she swiped the screen again and returned to her logging program.<p>

Setting her jaw firmly, Jane Shepard began to type.

* * *

><p><strong>-Commander's log 2:39:22:13<strong>

The place was like something out of a nightmare. It was a barren wasteland, with lava filled rivers and an ashen sky. I could even swear that I almost heard music; the kind that you would hear in a video game while exploring a dungeon or some corrupt corporation building. Maybe it was just the Prothean vision acting up again.

It's hard to believe that there could be anything of value there. It's a rock. Still, that was where our intel told us that asari scientist was, so that was where we went to find her. I took Tali and Williams with me. Tali is no soldier, but I wanted her hacking expertise for this mission. Williams is a solid gun to have at my side, so I thought between the two of us we could make up for the quarian's lack of military training. The gunnery chief impresses me. I'm interested to see how she develops over the course of this mission. Maybe I can have her permanently assigned to the Normandy.

The geth had taken up residence in the tunnels. We made quick work of them with the Mako, but I really hate that car. It's not as good as the machines that Danger builds. Maybe the next time we are at the Citadel I'll see if she can drag herself away from her "debauchery" in Omega to come out and take a look at it.

Eventually we had to leave the car behind and continue on foot. The geth had set up a barricade and we didn't have time to move it if we hoped to get to that asari scientist in time. They seemed to be everywhere. Tali got knocked out once, but Williams was able to drag her to cover. The odds were impossible. I hoped that the scientist was still alive, though at that point in time it seemed really foolish to be that optimistic. The place was overrun. Still, we had no choice but to press on and find out one way or the other. We came into what looked like a clearing, and then that damned geth ship dropped off an Armature. Those things are rough to take down with only handguns, let me tell you. Tali got knocked out again, but that was mostly because she was just standing in the crossfire and wouldn't take cover. I'll need to go over some drills with her before our next mission. Her skills are too valuable for me to leave her on the Normandy, but she's a liability in this state.

With the way now clear, we entered the tunnels. I really hate underground places like this. It doesn't matter how much light you put in them, they just never seem bright enough. There's always the chance that the world is going to come crashing down on you, and you have no way to escape...

We had to move through the tunnel single file, so I put Tali in the middle and had Ash bring up the rear. I had no idea where that geth ship went and I hadn't had an update from Joker - no way of knowing whether it was going to circle back and drop more reinforcements again. We needed to get in and out, and do it fast.

Tali commented that the cavern had encompassed the ruin after it was built, but I'm not so sure. Would the land have known precisely where to fill in around the structure, and where not to? Would the planet even be aware that it was covering over the ruins of a civilization? Perhaps it was actively trying to swallow it. Maybe the people who lived here were cruel and merciless folk, and the world itself was trying to erase the memory of their existence. It's possible, but I'm no archaeologist. Maybe I should just stick to what I know, and leave the theorizing to the scientists.

At least the elevators were still working. We didn't have much trouble getting to the lower levels, and along the way we saw all kinds of strange fields that almost looked like biotics. It was strange, and reminded me a little of my friend's car. I couldn't devote a lot of time to sightseeing, though, since geth assault drones started showing up all over the place the second we hit ground again. They are really starting to become a pain in my ass, always interrupting my reflections.

Although, one has to admire their tenacity, their ferociousness, and their uncanny ability to just keep pushing forward without any emotion. They truly are the perfect army. It's too bad they aren't on our side.

After defeating that wave, I realized I spoke too soon. The next elevator failed halfway down. It wasn't a long jump, but still meant that we were probably going to have to find another way out. So we jumped down, and then the world was pulled out from under me... I had better not go into detail here. My thoughts are too scattered. Even now I can't make sense of the stir of emotions that wonderful voice invoked. It's too soon, and it's been a long day. I had better get some rest, and pray that no dreams visit me tonight. It's going to be another long day tomorrow, and I need the sleep. I hope Danger gets back to me soon.

**-End Entry**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters<strong>**

Jane sat back and closed her eyes. She had managed to keep the log entry short and to the point, but her mind was wandering again to thoughts of that beautiful voice. Surely fate had intervened in order to bring her to that forsaken planet. Surely it wasn't just luck, or chance, that she happened to have picked that lead to follow first. Surely some immortal hand reached down and planted the thought directly in her mind, urging her to visit that location first and save the scientist from certain death.

_It has to be fate, or something like it.__ What else could it possibly be?  
><em>

She opened her eyes again and stared at the ceiling, hoping to find answers, perhaps emblazoned on the steel in some ancient fiery lettering, like in the old vids about medieval tales. The cold and unfeeling metal remained impassive, though, offering her no comfort.

Jane closed her eyes and folded her hands across her stomach, settling in to relive the events in her mind that led up to time standing still.

* * *

><p><strong>- Therum: Prothean Ruins<strong>

It really was a ridiculous sight. A young asari had managed to get snared in some sort of protective field, and was floating in midair, just looking at Jane, asking for her help. Commander Shepard had hoped that her squad hadn't seen that she was utterly captivated by the image, but judging by the sidelong looks Williams was giving her, it hadn't gone unnoticed. Jane tried to concentrate, but the melody sliced at her ears and filled them with sounds so magnificent she felt it deafening and suffocating her. Her soul emptied when the music stopped, and she felt her heart pounding as it silently begged for the mysterious young woman to continue.

And then, the beautiful creature was speaking again. What was she saying? Something about Protheans. Benezia. Geth. Maybe. Jane couldn't tell. The sound was too lovely. She couldn't make sense of the words.

_Just keep talking; I don't want to hear anything but your voice for the rest of eternity. Just keep talking._

Williams was speaking now, something about a rescue, more danger, keep moving. Her words sounded gravelly and coarse though, a stark contrast to the melody searing Jane's heart.

_Shut up, Chief. Can't you see I'm busy? Don't stop talking. _

Williams poked her superior officer, getting a little agitated, and it was just enough to break the trance. Barely. Jane shook her head, and blinked a few times.

The creature was still speaking, now saying something about getting past the barrier, krogan, geth, can't open from outside. Jane's head was starting to swim. She gripped the handle of her pistol and tried to ground herself in the weapon, wondering if she could channel the platinum to steady her hand and clear the sound of the asari's voice out of her ears. Her mind had turned into mush, and it was leaving her and the team extremely vulnerable.

_Just keep talking, I'll find a way to get you out of there. Just don't ever stop talking…_

She barely even remembered turning and skillfully dispatching the last of the geth guards that had been patrolling in the cavern behind them. They fell so easily, as she hopped down from the rock ledge, and twirled and twisted behind the crates in the cavern. The platinum guided her hand, and filled her with icy resolve. At least that was one thing she could count on to be steady, in this quickly unraveling reality she had stepped into...

_I have to get her out of there. _

She shook her head, and gripped her pistol more tightly. Turning, she nodded to Williams and looked around to assess her resources. There wasn't much, a few boxes, some weapons, and.. what looked like machinery capable of blasting a hole underneath the structure that trapped the beautiful asari.

_A mining laser unit, perfect. I have to get her out of there. We can use that._

It was locked, however, and a special code was required to bring the machine online. Jane positioned herself in front of the machine, and starting punching in sequences.

_I should be able to handle this. This is really rudimentary hacking._

Nothing.

_Almost there. Just, keep trying sequences. Did I do that one already? Shit, she's looking at me. Stop looking at me!_

Still nothing.

_Focus on the mission, Jane! Stop glancing at her!_

Nothing.

_Damnit… This shouldn't be this hard. What is happening to me?_

Still nothing.

"Here, let me have a look at that, Commander."

Tali stepped in and started punching in sequences, and soon the machine had bored a hole under the Prothean structure. Jane nodded her thanks to the quarian, and briefly wondered why the geth hadn't thought to use the laser…

_Maybe they did try, and were just as inept at entering the code as I was… Even geth couldn't be immune to a creature that perfect. I wonder if she is having the same effect on all of us..._

Jane led the way through the hole the laser bore, found the switch to deactivate the force field, and the beautiful asari was freed. Jane had to consciously keep her hands on her weapons and fight the urge to catch the falling maiden.

_So this is Liara T'Soni. Liara… That's her name. It's lovely. Why didn't I notice how lovely it was before?_

Then the asari was speaking again, this time in earnest. Jane tried to concentrate, but the words barely registered. Liara was wondering why the geth were after her, and wondering how they were going to get out. It was not going to be as easy as they thought.

_That's one thing I can agree with, it's time to get out of here. This is no place to be having a conversation, and I need to get you somewhere safe, Liara. Yes, we had better get out. Get out now. This place is coming down around our heads... I can deal with these scattered emotions later._

_I need to alert Joker. Snap out of it, Jane! This is definitely not the time! Get her out of here!_

She cocked her head to the side and adjusted her earbud, giving the order for Joker to extract them.

"Let's move it people!" Commander Jane Shepard shook her head to clear it, and then switched to 'commander' mode. She drew her pistol, adjusted her hand around the grip, and led the way out of the shaft, her feet thankfully keeping steady beneath her. The rest of the team followed her lead, drawing their own weapons and fanning out behind her, trying to avoid falling debris.

"Watch it, watch it watch it!" She flung her arms out to either side to stop the team from passing her. The krogan battlemaster who was leading the geth's expedition had caught up with them, and he was blocking their way with two geth lackeys. He wanted the asari, and he apparently didn't care whether he got her dead or alive. He didn't even care that the entire ruin was crumbling around them.

_These fucking krogan... When are they going to learn?_

Jane cared, though, and she wasn't about to let go of her newfound treasure that easily...

"I don't think so. She'll stay with us, thanks."

_There's no way I'm giving her up. You can eat shit and die, bro. Hell, did she hear it in my voice? Why is she looking at me like that? _

Jane holstered her pistol, drew her assault rifle, and grinned roguishly. It was time to kick a little ass. She lowered her head, and tapped power from the pool of platinum bloodlust and rage once again, dancing in front of the team as quickly as lightning. She knew her crew was confused, and likely frightened, but she couldn't let go of the thunderbolt, and she nearly howled in delight at the fear in the krogan's eyes as she approached him. His geth companions had already panicked and fled, making them easy pickings for Williams. The krogan was left all alone to face the feral human.

"You're mine, battlemaster, and I don't take prisoners…" she whispered, seeing the words register in his eyes as they somehow reached his mind through the sounds of battle and crumbing stone behind them.

She shivered in anticipation as his fear filled the air, and she called forth the crystalline wave to propel herself forward. He dropped his weapon and tried to run, but the streak of platinum that was Jane Shepard had already reached him. She was getting stronger… And it felt good. She reached out a hand and barely gestured. He fell to the ground, her boot now on his neck. She didn't spend a lot of time wondering how it had happened, or what had come out of her. She pivoted to the side, gripped the assault rifle in one hand, and smiled as she pulled the trigger.

_She's mine. I warned you._

"Shepard, we need to move, like now!" Chief Williams was trying to help Tali up. Apparently the quarian had been knocked out again when the geth drones had flanked the team.

Jane forced herself back to reality, and looked around. The chief was right, it was definitely time to go.

"Right, let's get out of here Ash!" She holstered her weapon and started running again, releasing the lightning. "Get Tali on her feet! Gogogogogogo!"

_Liara's lagging behind. I need to put her in front of me._

Jane dug her feet in and reversed direction, bringing up the rear. As she did, it seemed her teammates picked up speed, and she pushed her hands in front of her, willing them faster through the tunnel as the debris rained down around them.

_Damn it… GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!_

Jane closed her eyes and gave one last mighty heave, nearly throwing the chief and the two aliens out through the tunnel entrance's door, and then she turned and looked back as the mountain collapsed upon itself. She dropped to one knee and and gritted her teeth, feeling the telltale pain in her left ankle that only reared its ugly head when she lost her footing or stepped on something and rolled it beneath her.

_Damn it. That hurts. I'll have to get Chakwas to patch it up. _

She pushed herself back off the ground, and gazed at the now destroyed archaeological site. Whatever secrets the asari had been trying to uncover in there, were lost forever, now. She stood there a moment more, mastering her rage, clearing the bloodlust from her thoughts, and dismissing the silver winds that lent her team speed and strength. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

_I need to keep control of that. I can't let her see that side of me, not when I can't even explain where it comes from. _

Jane backed away from the mountain, shifting her weight to from foot to foot to test the stability of her ankle, and joined the rest of the crew as they climbed into the Normandy.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Comm room<strong>

It wasn't long before the team was assembled again in the comm room, chattering about the mission. The commander could see them all there, but she was looking straight through them. The day had been too hectic. Between rescuing the asari and once again allowing the platinum rage to channel through her, she was really ready to just lie down and sleep. She was barely conscious of where she was. This debriefing would have to be a short one.

_I'm back on the ship? I must be. This is my comm room. Liara's fidgeting. I wonder if the seats are uncomfortable. Just don't stop talking._

Jane looked straight at the asari, and crossed her arms, hoping that her eyes weren't betraying her emotions. She studied the young woman's face intently, looking for any lie, or any hint of deceit. There was nothing. Liara was innocent, and confused, and unsure of why she was suddenly so important to so many galactic powers. The only information she had, was on history, and ancient civilizations.

_Tell us about that. I'll listen to whatever you want to explain to us. You can talk forever. I have some information as well you might find interesting. I'll tell you anything, everything._

The commander leaned back in her chair, and looked around at the crew. When she started her pursuit of Saren, it had just been a ship full of humans versus the galaxy. Now it was growing into a representation of all the allied forces. Maybe it was fate, some sort of immortal hand pushing them together. Perhaps she was meant to connect with this asari for some purpose. Then again, it could just be really bad luck.

Jane tried to hide her amusement at her own little joke.

_You should stay here on the ship, Liara. It's not such a bad place, and I want to keep you safe. I want to keep you close to me. _

Jane tried to smile her most reassuring 'I'm a soldier and I can protect you smile', and she thought she detected a hint of laughter in the asari's eyes.

_I wonder if she can read my mind... Well, she is tired and she should go rest. Doctor Chakwas can find some room for her. Go rest, Liara. I'll talk to you later, when I'm…. myself again…_

The commander kept her report to the council brief, and then retired to her quarters to gather her thoughts. She made an entry into her personal log, and then settled back into a chair to think about what to say to her newest crewmember. It was insane, wasn't it? The whole thing was. Danger would absolutely delight in seeing the always-in-command-and-control soldier blathering like an idiot, and daydreaming during debriefings. Suddenly she felt sad and wished she could talk to her friend.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters<strong>

Jane Shepard opened her eyes again, smiling at her recollection of events. Despite her distraction, she did manage to lead them out of the crumbling ruin, and everyone was alive and resting. It turned out ok in the end, and now Jane had some time to think through and sort out her scattered emotions.

_Should I go see her now? Or should I wait until tomorrow…_

Jane closed her eyes, and replayed the day in her head over and over. She smiled softly, and bit her upper lip. That asari had definitely gotten her attention. She was perfect. Her voice was like music, and her smile rivaled even the dreams of the beautiful platinum swords. She could disappear into those blues eyes, and never return again to the land of the living. She would gladly give up her command, her life, possibly even her very soul, if that asari asked it of her.

Jane opened her eyes again and smiled at the ceiling. She nodded to herself and pushed out of the chair.

_I should just go make sure that she is ok. It's my duty as the commanding officer on this ship to make sure that any new folks have what they need, right? Right. _

Jane adjusted her Alliance uniform and made her way to the med bay.

* * *

><p><strong>-The Citadel, Human Embassy<strong>

Ambassador Udina sat at his console, staring at the screen and scowling. Anderson had managed to do it again.

_Somehow, the man manages to screw up even the simplest missions._

His team had extracted the asari matriarch alive, but the woman was certainly not as grateful to the human race in general, and him in particular, as he had hoped she would be. In fact, Matriarch Terriana had stamped about his office for hours upon hours, uttering every expletive in every known language across the universe at him, and she hadn't stopped there. When she left, she then filled his inbox with more choice words and phrases, which he was reviewing now. She had finally exhausted herself fifteen minutes ago, and the last correspondence he received from her... was a calm request. She had simply contacted him through a secure line, quickly articulated what she wanted, and then severed the connection. Just after that, he had gotten another message stating she might be willing to reconsider her position on the colonies... if he was able to procure what she had asked for.

He heard the door slide open, and looked up from the console as his top commanding officer stepped into the room.

"Captain Anderson, I trust you read the report?" He didn't even try to hide the edge in his voice.

"I did, Ambassador."

"So then I trust that you know how much diplomatic grief your commander and pet mercenary caused me?"

"They got the job done, and I'll add that they got the matriarch out unharmed."

"This incident has set up back twenty years in race relations with the asari. There's no way to undo what has been done. First she is manhandled by the humans who captured her, and then she is manhandled by the humans who rescue her!"

Anderson took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. "Ambassador, we are not talking about civilized dealings here. We are talking about pirates, who stop at nothing to get what they are after. I had to put people on it that wouldn't be afraid to get their hands dirty."

"Bah." He threw his hands up in defeat. "This will take me months to undo. She won't even speak of the colonies now. I will have to put off other projects in order to focus on bringing her back to the table." She crossed his arms, and narrowed his eyes at the captain. "How is our... other... matter progressing?"

"Shepard has the asari doctor in custody and while they don't have a lot of new information on the threat, they are en route to Feros as we speak. I expect to hear more in a couple days."

"Good. Well at least one thing is going according to plan, anyway."

The ambassador turned back to his console. "I had another meeting with Matriarch Terriana a few minutes ago and I have an unusual request."

"Oh? What is unusual about it?"

"What she is requesting. She wants your mercenary to act as security for her trip back to Thessia."

"Why is that unusual?"

The ambassador leaned forward. "If you had heard the language that came out of that woman's mouth when describing the actions of your extraction 'specialist', you'd find the request unusual too." He held up a hand to ward off the Captain's next comment. "No, no, I made sure she isn't setting your operative up for some sort of ambush revenge. Apparently her turian advisor convinced her that in order to remain safe, she needs someone like your operative. So, can you have her prepped to escort the matriarch back home by tomorrow?"

"I'll see if I can find her."

"Very well. Dismissed."


	7. Chapter 6: Feros

**Chapter 6: First mission with the new squad: Feros**

**-Normandy, Med bay**

_Does she even belong on a starship?_

Commander Jane Shepard stood just outside the doorway of the small storage room, peering through the crack in the partially ajar airlock. She would have to get Adams up here to look at the door at some point, but for now, the damage was incredibly convenient to Jane. The door was, of course, unsafe in this condition, but it provided her a hidden vantage point from which to look in at the magnificent creature they had just picked up on Therum. As much as she wanted the ship to be in top condition and working properly, she was a little grateful for the twist of fate that had caused one of the human engineers to knock a medical cot through the door just as it was closing, bending a chunk of the metal and causing it to no longer settle securely and seal the rooms from each other. The quadrant would have to be replaced, but for now, it served Jane's purpose well.

She glanced behind her at the doctor, but Chakwas was keeping herself busy going over some charts. Jane suspected the observant medical officer was aware of her agenda and the fact that it might have stretched just a little further than a commanding officer checking on a crewmate, but the good doctor graciously didn't say a word. She just patched up the commander's ankle, and then studiously minded her own business, allowing Jane her quiet observation. Of course, it was also possible that the doctor merely thought the commander was growing concerned about the wide variety of personalities aboard the Normandy and she was here to better understand this one, but Jane wasn't really in the mood to ask. Whatever the doctor's personal opinion about her continued presence in the med bay, she was keeping quiet and that suited Commander Shepard just fine.

_I wonder if Liara knows I'm here watching her. _

The young asari was seated at a console, looking over what looked to be some sort of diagrams of old buildings. It was fascinating to Jane that she could read and understand such things. The woman would study one diagram for a few moments, and then brush her hand across the screen, pulling up a new schematic. Jane's eyes were transfixed by the asari's every movement. She moved like water, gracefully though the air, reshaping itself to fit around any obstacle or slide through even the smallest weakness in any barrier. It was a wondrous sight.

_That's an interesting analogy. She certainly slipped through all of my barriers as if they were a sieve, and she the water. Now, she is gathering into a pool at the center of my chest. Should I go in there and talk to her? Or will I make a fool out of myself... Perhaps it's too soon._

Jane certainly _wanted_ to go inside and talk to Liara, but she hesitated. Of course, as the commanding officer of the Normandy she had authority to go into any room she wished, but something gave her pause. She didn't want to disturb the young woman, at least not yet. Liara looked tired, and confused, and thoroughly exhausted. She needed at least a few more minutes for it to sink in that she was really alive and safe. Jane didn't blame her. Despite her own intense military training, she was sure that had their positions been switched, she, too, would need some time to sort out her thoughts.

All Liara had wanted to do was spend her time happily digging up the ruins on that planet. She didn't want any parts of her mother's war. The young asari was caught in the the middle of a galactic incident she wanted nothing to do with, and it nearly cost her, her life.

_This has to be so hard for her..._

Jane couldn't imagine what it must have been like to be surrounded by geth, relying on an ancient civilization's mastery of biotic fields to protect her. She couldn't imagine what must have felt like, to endure the whispered promises of a slow and torturous death, the second the field failed. She didn't want to think about the despair that must have threatened to crush the poor asari's heart as she came to terms with her helplessness, and the hopelessness of her situation. Liara would have had no idea anyone was coming to rescue her. She could have died in that stasis field, alone and frightened, a miserable wretch whose body eventually had no choice but to abandon her.

Jane shook her head a little to clear it. Her thoughts were starting to turn a little morbid. None of that mattered, because Jane _had_ gone after her and Jane _had _rescued her, and now she was here sitting at a console, just quietly looking at images of ancient structures.

_Maybe it's helping to keep her mind off what happened. Maybe, she really does just need a distraction and not... more time to dwell on it alone. _

Commander Jane Shepard nodded to herself, her mind made up. She adjusted her Alliance uniform, hoping she looked at least somewhat presentable, and hit the switch to open the airlock.

* * *

><p><strong>-Commander's log 5:37:23:53<strong>

I replaced Williams with Liara for the trip to Feros. I don't know what made me do it, but I did it.

Actually, I know exactly what made me do it. I want her near me. After I went in to talk with her last night, I felt like she should be with me always. It's a strange thing, isn't it, how one can be so sure of something so important after such a short encounter? But, there it is. I want her with me always. I've said it.

There's something different about her. Maybe it's just in the way she carries herself. I can see the confidence inside her, but it's struggling to get out. It's straining against its cage, locked up in the deep recesses of her soul for reasons unknown. I know that the nervous and frightened child on the surface is not the woman within. I see it in her eyes, and I hope she finds her strength. Maybe she will let me help her with that. Maybe she will want me to help her with that...

As we talked, she shifted nervously from foot to foot, and expressed herself with her hands. It was a fascinating sight, and I couldn't take my eyes off her. We had a very long conversation, and by the end, it felt like we were connecting. I asked her everything I could think of, just to keep her talking, and she didn't seem to mind answering my questions... some of them... twice. I wish I could see inside her head. I wish I knew what she was thinking.

Maybe I do know what she is thinking, though. I've seen enough of those trashy romance vids to realize that nervousness like she was displaying is usually indicative of a deeper interest. She became especially flustered when she started talking about studying me because of my exposure to a Prothean artifact. I found that part of the conversation particularly amusing, because she was so caught up in her own embarrassment that she didn't even realize her words had sent lightning straight through my core. I was more than a little grateful for that, actually. I really should be keeping myself under control. But, I do not know how. Not anymore.

I love the sound of her voice, and the way her face lights up when she smiles. She is so sweet and innocent, and she deserves to spend all of her days in happiness and joy, far away from wars and fighting and bloodshed. I want her to be alive, and well, and happy for the rest of her days.

...

I look over that last entry, and realize that I am about to subject her to the very thing I wish to protect her from. How can I take her with me on this mission, and keep her away from the fighting at the same time?

I can't.

So, what am I to do? Do I drop her off on some planet somewhere, and let her live her life? No, I can't stand the thought of being away from her. I have no option but to keep her here with me, and hope beyond hope that I can figure this thing out before it gets us all killed.

So, I replaced Williams with Liara, and I probably shouldn't have. Liara is no soldier, but my heart will not allow me to be parted from her, not now. I don't think it will ever release me...

Anyway, I should focus on the purpose of this log: documenting our missions.

* * *

><p>We went to Feros to investigate a geth invasion. It seemed like a nice enough place when we disembarked, but that changed rapidly when we were immediately attacked by a pack of the drones. I hate these missions that start off right away with a whole lot of shooting. When they start out like that, you just know that the entire thing will be messy from beginning to end. This one, was particularly messy...<p>

The place was a disaster. There were bodies everywhere, and civilians with guns. It was impossible to tell which of the dead had fallen to the geth and which had fallen to friendly fire. I regretted bringing Liara immediately; she didn't need to see this. War is the province of soldiers, not scientists. Still, she showed remarkable resilience, only commenting about the colonists' strength and determination to continue building their world. She is incredible.

After we talked to the leader of the colony, a steady man named Fai Dan, we learned that the geth had overrun the tower. We weren't going to get any answers out of him until that threat was cleared, so I led the team inside. It was then that I had a "Danger" moment. Instead of taking the stairs on the left to the tower, I passed them completely and started down the other side. Liara's voice jolted me back to reality, suggesting that we were moving in the wrong direction. I felt like such an idiot. Why do I turn into an idiot around her?

I got the team turned around, and took out my frustration on the geth that were lying in wait for us. It was almost too easy. Or maybe I was just too overpowering, compensating for my earlier embarrassment. I am a little ashamed to admit that I may have channeled the platinum again… Just a little. Anyway, Tali hacked the drones and I picked them off easily. She's getting a lot better at these away missions, and her hacking skills are invaluable, especially against this terror her people unleashed upon the world. The irony is not lost on me.

The ship that had dropped off this wave flew away, and I took a few moments to gather my thoughts. She's distracting me, and I know it. Still, what can I do? I can't bear to ask her to leave. Even now, I fear I would feel emptiness descend upon me if she were gone.

Tali and Liara were looking at me for direction, and I turned around and led them back to the colony. Fai Dan was grateful, but I learned that they still were lacking in essentials like food, water and power. We had a mission, but I couldn't leave the colonists to their fate without at least trying to help. I gathered what information I could and we set off in search of aid in the tunnels.

The geth were crawling everywhere. I don't even know how we managed to overwhelm them; there were just so many, and they are so fearless. They keep coming, and coming, and they don't stay down unless you really melt their circuitry. I really wish that they were on our side...

I accidentally fell against some sort of switch trying to avoid fire, and Tali deduced that it was some sort of water valve. She continues to prove her worth to the team. I'm beginning to really like the quarian race. They are a brilliant people. It's too bad they had to go and unleash this machine race on everyone, and well, get themselves kicked out of their own home world.

We found another valve ahead, and Liara commented that it still didn't seem that the main line was fully operational. God, how I love to hear her voice. It's like velvet, and her speech is so eloquent. I don't even think she uses contractions. I could sit and listen to her for hours and probably never hear a word, yet never get bored.

After that we came to a strange sight. There was a man standing in a corner fighting with some sort of demons in his head. I offered to help him, but he was too far gone. It's a shame. I've seen this sort of thing before in some of the weaker soldiers. The death and carnage of war breaks them down and drives them to recede into themselves. They lose their minds slowly, and are never the same again. I glanced at Liara and hoped that would never happen to her, but there's no way to predict whether she will be able to handle the mental stress. All I can do is keep her close to me and hope that my strength will be enough to keep her on her feet. I have to protect her, at least as much as reasonably possible under the circumstances.

We moved on and found the last water valve. At least now the colonists wouldn't die of thirst before more help arrived. We doubled back and crossed a bridge, then took out some more geth drones, and pushed forward into a handful of krogan. I will never understand those beasts. I've spent enough time with Danger to get why mercs hire themselves out to the highest bidder, but these krogan are actively allying themselves with those who seek the ultimate destruction of _all_ organic life. I find it hard to believe that even they are that thick. I hate killing them, but I have no choice. It's sad, because they are a fierce and proud people, and it won't be long before they are extinct. It might not happen in my lifetime, but it will surely happen, and the universe will be poorer for it.

We destroyed the Geth beacon they were defending, and headed back toward the colony. On the way I noticed a door I hadn't seen on the way in, and we proceeded cautiously inside. This time we didn't have to worry about geth though. This time it was some sort of rabid hound, but they were easy to dispatch. The beasts were dumb, and we just funneled them into the doorway and took them out one by one. Then Tali and Liara flanked the Alpha male, and between the three of us he barely got off a whimper.

There was a ship inside, interestingly enough, but I didn't stand around worrying about what it was doing there or how it got there. It had power cells, and the colony needed them. Tali hacked a nearby storage container while I pulled them out. We had accomplished our missions. I looked at Liara and she was smiling at me. Maybe she's happy we took the time to help the colony. I didn't ask. There was too much to do. We needed to get the supplies back and go attack geth at their source.

**-End Entry**

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's Quarters<strong>

Jane leaned back from her journal entry and stretched. Reading back over her words, she realized the mission was a long one, and the story wasn't even halfway told. Writing usually helped her clear her thoughts, but this time her mind was just racing with the events of the day. It was just coming into evening, and she looked over to the console, hoping to see the telltale blink. Nothing. Danger hadn't gotten back to her yet. She hoped her friend wasn't serious about the 'burying herself in a pile of bottles' comment, but with Danger you could never tell.

Sighing, she closed her eyes to relive the rest of the night and try to make sense of it before putting it into words. She'd have to worry about Danger later.

* * *

><p><strong>-Feros, en route to Exogeni Corp Building<strong>

_I really hate this car. The firepower is nice, but it's impossible to maneuver. _

Commander Jane Shepard attempted to keep the vehicle out of geth bullets while returning fire, but it was all but impossible and they often had to stop to reinforce the hull. She slammed her hand against the dashboard, and glanced sideways at Liara as the asari tried to hide a giggle behind her hand.

_Thank god Tali is here to fix this. I don't know how I would have done this mission without her. She's helping to keep me somewhat sane. Why did I bring Liara? Every time the woman speaks, my heart skips a beat, even if it's something mundane like commenting about intelligent beings not voluntarily entering geth territory. This is insane. Even under the best of circumstances I can barely drive this thing. With her sitting next to me, it's surprising we haven't been blown to bits yet. I had better leave her behind on our next mission. _

Jane shook her head, and peered over the dash, scanning the distance for any hostiles. She continued to drive slowly along the skyway, barely paying any mind to the broken chatter on various comm signals. It was all white noise anyway, and barely compared to the white noise in her head. In addition, Tali couldn't pinpoint the location, so Jane wasn't worried about it. They would find the source soon enough.

_Stop looking at me, Liara. I know I can't drive. You try to drive this thing! I wish Danger were here. She can drive anything. Then I wouldn't have to embarrass myself any more than that which is obviously unavoidable these days…_

Liara was amused at the clearly uncomfortable commander attempting to keep control of the vehicle and manipulate the weapons systems, but tried to keep her face from showing it. She wondered briefly whether the commander was just a bad driver, or if something was distracting her. It was hard to tell with the human. It must have been all that training in the military, hardening her will and teaching her how to keep her chiseled face devoid of emotion. She was curious as to what it would take to melt the heart of the powerful soldier... but didn't have time to really delve deeply into the matter, as something caught Jane's eye, and the commander brought the rover to an abrupt stop, jostling both her and the quarian in the process.

"Ow, Commander, are you trying to tear my suit?" Tali pushed herself off the wall and glared at the human from behind her mask.

"Everyone out – there's people holed up in there." Jane pushed the door open and hopped out of the vehicle. She offered her hand to Tali, but the quarian pushed it away.

"Get off me. Ugh. I am not getting into this car again until you learn how to use those controls!"

Jane just shrugged and grinned, nodding to Liara and taking the lead. They descended into a small opening in the ground, to be greeted by more civilians with guns.

_Great. This is why wars like this should be stopped. These people don't have the physical or mental training to handle what comes with killing others, even if they are 'only' machines. _

Jane decided to keep the conversation brief. She didn't want Tali and Liara becoming emotionally involved with people here. It would just make it harder if they had to make difficult decisions. They learned that there was still at least one civilian inside the compound, and there was also apparently some important data to be retrieved for a bounty. Jane was mildly annoyed at the request, considering the circumstances, but agreed they would do their best to find the information. Tali seemed annoyed as well, judging by her comment about everyone thinking the commander just enjoyed being in harm's way.

_Tali would have liked Danger. If she thinks that I'm considered a risk-taker, she'd probably have a heart attack after a day with my buddy._

They left the small force of armed civilians behind, and returned to the Mako. Tali made a comment about resistance being heavy when they got inside the building, and Jane just shook her head.

_No shit, Tali. I guess you haven't noticed like, all the resistance, EVERYWHERE since we got here... _

Jane punched some buttons into the console, and managed to get them to the entrance without incident, despite having to maneuver a ramp.

_I'm getting better at this! Ha, take that, Danger!_

She pulled the machine to a graceful stop, and nodded in satisfaction.

"Looks like we're on foot from here, ladies. Let's go!" She opened the door and once again hopped out. Tali and Liara joined her, and the three of them advanced slowly on the small opening in the wall leading to the entrances to the research facility.

Jane suddenly stepped forward and stretched out her hand, unconsciously channeling platinum as she called forth a translucent silver barrier. There was a threat just over to the right, and immediately she sprang into action.

Briefly she wondered if anyone else could... see... what she was doing...

_No, that's not quite right. See isn't the right word..._

She couldn't exactly 'see' it herself... Was it even there? Or was Jane just making a fool out of herself, stretching her arm forth as if she were a biotic...

"Damn it, who the hell are you?" The commander lowered her weapon, and the barrier, and cursed under her breath as a young and frightened girl stepped out of the shadows.

_Fucking civilians with fucking guns. They are a menace. She's probably the one the ExoGeni employee was looking for. What is she doing out here, in the middle of nowhere, shooting at people?_

Jane listened to the girl's story, but looked at Liara and saw the same question in the asari's eyes that echoed in her own mind.

_These corportate types never quite give you the whole truth, do they? No... They don't._

She grunted and narrowed her eyes, wishing she had time to question the girl further. She didn't though, and there was not much Jane could do about it. She wasn't about to interrogate the girl here, in the open, in the middle of a geth invasion. Instead, she directed the child to hold her position, and promised to find a way to lower the barriers. Then she motioned to Tali and Liara, and drew her assault rifle, sensing trouble ahead.

_At least we managed to get a security badge from her. That should come in handy. I hope she doesn't shoot her eye out with that pistol... Civilians with guns..._

They quickly dispatched the nearby patrolling enemies and Jane looked back at the young girl. She was safe, and receding back into the shadow. She wouldn't cause them any trouble.

_Good. I'd take you with us under any other circumstances, but I'm lucky Tali and Liara are competent enough to manage themselves. Maybe if I had Kaidan and Ash..._

No, she couldn't dwell on her choice. It was too late now, anyway. They were well into the belly of the beast, and even if she had wanted to swap out squad members, it was too late. The geth would have brought another wave by the time they got back down here, and who knows how many more of the colonists would be dead by then. No, she was stuck with her team as it was, and that meant leaving the girl behind and hoping she didn't shoot them in the back, accidentally or otherwise.

Jane nodded to herself, her decision made. It wasn't so bad, really. The team she had was starting to work together pretty nicely. It hadn't been more than a couple hours, but they were starting to anticipate each other's moves and adjusting their individual strategies to fit. Tali would hack the geth drones, and Jane would either take them out with focused fire, or Liara would use her biotics to disable them. It was working out fairly well.

_A quarian hacker, an asari biotic, and a human soldier. Who would have thought? It's turning into a terrific combination. I just wish that Liara didn't have such an eff.._

Jane's thoughts were interrupted by the wall she had run straight into.

_Shit, that was smooth. I take back what I thought earlier – I'm glad Danger isn't here. She would laugh her ass off at me._

As it was, Liara and Tali just stood there waiting for the commander to get herself back under control. There was the hint of joyful laughter in Liara's eyes, but she had the grace to keep her thoughts to herself. Instead, she just smiled that intoxicating smile at Jane, and waited until the commander collected herself and led them into the building.

_I need to get this under control. Focus on the mission, Jane! The mission! That's all that is important. Right. Let's think about this mission. This mission is about a... Thorian? Is that what those crazy scientists said? Pft, whatever that is. Well, whatever it is, I bet it doesn't run into walls like an idiot. Wow. Great job focusing on the mission, Jane..._

She shook her head, and looked around the room. It didn't take long to find a way into the building, but Jane silently cursed as she heard Liara comment that it was a one way trip.

_Yea well, this whole fucking mission is probably a one way trip, Liara. Welcome to my world..._

She led the way down into the corridor, and they crept quietly up the stairwell. Jane motioned for the team to be silent, and listened around the corner. Their next obstacle was a krogan arguing with a VI, which Jane had to admit, was rather comical. She stood; readied her weapon but held it in a non-threatening manner, and slowly advanced up the stairway, indicating to Tali and Liara to stay put. She hoped to reason with the krogan, and possibly get some information out of him. Perhaps one lone krogan would behave differently than when they were in a pack...

_Apparently not. _

Jane gritted her teeth as he advanced on her, and she unconsciously called forth a translucent silver barrier, and used it to force him against the wall. He didn't want to talk. They never wanted to talk. She smiled sadly at him, put her pistol to his head, and fired. As she let his lifeless body slide to the floor, she looked behind her and was grateful that Liara hadn't yet rounded the corner. The asari didn't see the translucent platinum barrier, and she didn't Jane kill the creature in cold blood.

_Another one dead. I wish they didn't have such a need to enter battle. The universe will mourn them when they are gone, even if they don't see it now…_

Jane shook her head as she kicked the body down the stairs, and turned to the VI. She grilled it for what information she could, which admittedly wasn't much, and then led the team into the building. Geth were working everywhere, and had set up some sort of a... research station. Their ship was somehow attached to the tower, and Jane just couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was a magnificent sight, even if it was a bit... creepy. They were efficient, and terrible, and... beautiful.

_Another race the universe will mourn, when they are gone..._._ They are so insect-like. They focus on one purpose and never falter. Even the things they build reflect the beautiful simplicity and efficiency of insect physiology. _

None of that really mattered though. As much as Jane may have admired the geth, she still had a job to do and that meant getting that ship off the building. They pushed forward, easily dispatching the resistance, and came to some controls for the cargo bay doors. Tali immediately deduced that they could crush one of the ship's claws with it, and Jane motioned for her to do whatever was necessary. She may be able to take the long view of geth contributions to the universe, but here and now, they were just a threat.

Tali nodded and then made quick work of calculating the sequence to get the bay to slam down on one of the ship's claws. Jane could almost hear the smile in the young engineer's voice as she informed them she hoped it was filled with geth. Jane just watched the machine fall, and shook her head sadly as more magnificent creatures were destroyed by her hand. She glanced at Tali, and wished that the quarians didn't have to wear those full body suits. The woman's facial expressions were always masked, and the commander wasn't sure just how serious she was about wishing death on the geth.

_War is the province of soldiers... not scientists. This will break them all, Jane. You shouldn't have brought Tali, either. She doesn't know what she is saying..._

Jane's inner thoughts were once again interrupted though, this time by her pilot informing her that the colonists had gone mad and were trying to get into the Normandy. She wasn't worried about them getting into the ship, but thought it best to get back there anyway. Her team had done enough damage here. The geth ship had fallen, and the geth were pissed.

_Mission accomplished, I guess. We can directly quantify the success of the mission by how many people we piss off, right? Right._

Jane led the team out of the building, and together with the civilian scientist, they made their way back to the Mako. They dropped the civilian off where the ExoGeni group was holed up, and learned that the Thorian was currently living beneath the colony at Zhu's Hope. Jane just gripped her rifle, smiled her very best 'fuck you' smile, and turned away before she did something she would regret.

_Great. Why is nothing ever just easy? Why can we never just, go into a place, and like, get all the information at once? Why do we always have to run around in a big circle before folks will just spit out the truth? Well, at least these researchers have some ideas on how to get the colonists out of the picture without killing them. It's the least they can do, after putting them in this situation to begin with. Fucking corporations._

Making their way back to the Mako, Commander Shepard wondered how ExoGeni could be so cold and unfeeling. They put this colony at extreme risk, knowing this ancient creature lay just below them. It was unforgivable. And now, because of them, she would have to destroy it.

_It seems like all I do these days is destroy things. That's all I do. I am the harbinger of destruction. And, I hope that she never realizes it._

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Shepard's quarters<strong>

The commander looked over at the console again. Still no blinking light. She was still on her own. Well, it was time for some sleep. She could put the rest of the mission into perspective tomorrow morning, and maybe make some time to go chat with Liara and see what she thought about everything.

_Yes, I want to talk to Liara tomorrow. I hope she is holding up ok and the mission wasn't that stressful on her. I'll need to keep an eye on her and make sure I'm not pushing her too hard. _

Tomorrow, she'd finish her reflections and plan their next step. She pulled off her armor, placed it neatly in her trunk, and climbed into bed.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Nightmares<strong>_

_You are welcome here. You are always welcome here. _

_She looked at the sky. Or was she looking at the ground? Jane wasn't sure. She rolled to one side, and then rolled to the other. Yes, she was definitely looking at the sky. _

I am here again. I have advanced. I must arrive.

_She sat up, and looked around her. Her surroundings were much the same as they always were, but it seemed that the planet of platinum swords was just a little bit closer. The sound was just a little bit louder. _

Where am I to go this time?

_She didn't ask the question of the voice. She asked the question of herself, and sensed that the voice was pleased. The swords danced and sang in the twilight. Jane got to her feet. This land was desolate and barren. There was no mercury lake, and there was no path to follow. There was nothing. She started walking. _

How must I choose the direction?

_She counted her steps. One, two, three, four… She counted, and walked. There was emptiness. She changed direction. One, two, three, four… She was met with silence, and an endless expanse of silver land. There was not even the slightest hint of a breeze to help her determine in which direction to go. _

_Jane sat down, and gazed at the planet of platinum swords. She didn't want to ask the voice. She felt somehow, that the voice rather liked when she did things on her own. She needed to find her way through this trial, so she could arrive. _

I must arrive. I am destined to arrive.

_She thought about her previous trials. They were all painful, and tested her physical strength of will. She was strong, and her body honed. She took pride in keeping herself in top physical condition, despite her ankle injury. Her last two trials forced her to draw upon reserves deep in her soul. Would all the trials be like that? Would they all be a test of strength?_

_She lay back down, and looked up into the twilight. _

This is how I arrived here. Is this how I am to advance to the next?

_She felt that she was on the right track, but it was hard to see how she would advance to the next trial if she was laying down, looking up at the velvet blanket covering the night… _

_The velvet blanket, covering the night… _

_Covering the night..._

_..._

Covering the night…? Where are the stars?

_Jane looked up in earnest, but could see nothing. It was as if something was blocking her view, blocking the view of the souls that were meant to dot the blackness and give direction to those lost in midnight. She closed her eyes and thought back to another place, and another time, when she had gently flicked her wrist and sent a fully grown krogan crashing to the ground. Her eyes shot back open, and she smiled. It seemed the swords in the distance sang more loudly for her, as she raised her left hand, and sliced open the night with platinum lightning. The canopy fell away at her command, and the stars rushed to meet her. Or was she rushing to meet them?_

_Their heat seared her flesh and their edges sliced her skin, but she just threw her head back and laughed with the swords, as the voice joined her once again. Her blood fell to the ground, and she turned herself in the air to look at the patterns it formed. The drips were nearly identical to the patterns of the stars behind her, and she smiled at her mirror image, a silver replica of herself on the ground, as it slowly waved goodbye to her._

_A wave of silver ice shattered the crystalline universe, and carried Jane away into the darkness…_


	8. Chapter 7: Get a haircut and a real job

**Chapter 7: Get a haircut and a real job**

**-Citadel, Matriarch Terriana's offices**

Rolus sat and watched the matriarch as she slowly paced the floor in front of him. He knew she was inwardly fuming, but decided against trying to console her. She rarely responded to comforting words, and the truth was, he was a little afraid anyway. He wouldn't necessarily call her unstable, but she certainly was not one to be trifled with. It would be better to just let her walk herself to exhaustion, and wait until she was ready to discuss it.

The matriarch had just gotten done speaking with the human ambassador, and she was clearly in no mood, so he just watched her. He had known the woman his whole life, and had worked for her since the time her mother had passed. It was a good life, but sometimes he had to weather the 'Terriana Storms', and this was one of those times.

After two hours, she finally exhausted herself and sat down on a couch near her advisor.

"All finished then?" he asked.

She just looked at him.

"You shouldn't have been so hard on the ambassador. After all, the humans did come through." He decided to test her a little.

"They are filthy creatures and if I never see one again it will be too soon."

"You don't mean that. "

"I do."

"Fine." He waved a hand dismissively. "We will be returning to Thessia tomorrow morning."

"I do hope that you have hired better security this time around."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Now hear me out, before you start pacing again. We should hire that human mercenary. I think that soldier called her Danger or something."

"Excuse me? You have clearly lost your mind if you think for one second I would consider allowing that repulsive beast anywhere near me again." She hugged herself and tried to visibly shudder, but her mind involuntarily returned to the brief moments she was in the human's arms, when she feigned unconsciousness so that the creature wouldn't see what was in her eyes.

"Oh stop it. You are being ridiculous. It's clear that mercenary is a highly skilled and dangerous operative, and you need a bodyguard now that word is getting out that you are being prepped for a council seat."

"I'm sure there is a suitable turian or krogan available for the job. Perhaps I will contact Benezia and accept those commandos."

"Now I know you don't mean that. Listen, that human came back into the building to save me, and I can't forget something like that." He rubbed his now healing leg thoughtfully. "I wouldn't even be here to advise you if it hadn't been for her and her soldier friend. You didn't even thank the ambassador for sending someone after you. It was clear the turians and the salarians were going to just leave you to your fate."

She thought about that. The asari were the first race to reach the citadel, and by all accounts were the most developed and advanced of all of the currently known races, but that didn't mean they would always be on top. While she didn't think that the others would actively move against her people, it was possible that the wheels of bureaucracy might turn just a little bit slower than usual when it came to dealing with her and her kind. The asari councilor would have, of course, pushed to get her rescued, but if the turian and salarian joined forces to block a measure...

"Maybe they did just leave me to my fate, but that doesn't mean I need to run straight into the arms of a human over it."

The turian cocked his head to the side at her comment, looking at her quizzically, and she immediately regretted her choice of words.

"What I mean is there's no need to go hiring one of them."

"I'm not telling you to hire one of them, I'm telling you to hire Danger. You need a bodyguard, and mercenaries always need work. Hire her on as head of security, and if it doesn't work out we can always get someone else. "

The matriarch sat back and closed her eyes. This was ridiculous. He was right. She did need a bodyguard, and the human was at least moderately skilled. She wouldn't be able to get the soldier – Shepard was her name. Soldiers didn't do security work until they retired and Shepard had a long way to go before that happened. She could either hire the mercenary, or take her chances with another inexperienced guard just looking for quick creds. Surely she could contain herself around one human.

"Rolus, please contact Ambassador Udina and tell him I wish for one last meeting before we depart."

"Of course. I'll make the arrangements right away." He tried his very best not to grin.

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, The Flux<strong>

Danger was sitting at the bar, nursing some sort of blue liquid the bartender had poured for her. It didn't taste particularly bad; she just wasn't really sure what it was and didn't feel much like celebrating anyway. Despite her screw ups on her last job, the Alliance had come through and paid her what was agreed and a bonus for delivering the package unharmed. It was certainly a cause for celebration. The Alliance had paid her a _very_ healthy sum of creds.

_The package. Hmph. She wasn't a package. She was... something else._

The money was more than enough to retire on and enjoy the rest of her days tinkering with cars and nights in the clubs around Omega. She'd already booked passage on a transport shuttle headed there, and was looking forward to introducing herself to the queen of the underworld. Danger leaned back on her stool and stretched her back. It still ached from the bounce and subsequent landings back at the Last Corsair's compound, but the doctors had assured her that there was no permanent damage. She was lucky. That turian was heavy as hell, and landed right on top of her as they rolled off the crumbling floor.

"How would you like a job?"

Danger looked around for the source of the voice and noticed that Matriarch Terriana's assistant had slipped into a stool on her left. _Speak of the devil…_

"I'm retired."

"You are too young to retire."

"How did you find me?"

"Oh, the ambassador set Captain Anderson on it, and from there it wasn't hard. He's going to be chatting with you eventually about how important this is to the Alliance and all that I'm sure, but I wanted to get to you first and just ask you."

"Ask me what?"

"Do you want a job?"

"I'm retired."

"So you keep saying. I'll be blunt with you. You are one of the best I've seen. It's no wonder that soldier hangs around with you – the two of you are devastating on any obstacle you come across. What you two accomplished on that compound would have taken an army of any other race. The matriarch is starting to gain enemies, and she needs a skilled bodyguard. We'd love to hire you both, but we don't expect your soldier friend is available."

"She hates me."

"Your friend?"

"No, the matriarch." Danger scrunched her face up and considered for a minute. "Actually, Jane probably hates me too. I get that a lot. It doesn't matter. Your boss can't stand me." She took another sip of the mystery liquid.

Rolus looked at the human's face for any clue as to what the woman was thinking, but Danger was a mask. He had no idea what was going on in her head.

"She's a matriarch." He shrugged, as if that explained everything. "Listen, I know what's good for her and we need better security. If all goes well escorting her back to Thessia, there will be a permanent position waiting for you. It's a very prestigious job, and it pays well."

"I'm retired."

"Third time's a charm. If you change your mind, we will be leaving tomorrow afternoon. If you show up, great. If not, enjoy your retirement."

Rolus got up and left the bar, and Danger turned back to her drink. She twisted the glass twice, and then pushed it away. There was a group of asari that looked disappointed, as Danger usually had a few drinks and then hit the dance floor, but she barely noticed. Instead, she turned around on the stool, walked out of the bar, and went to find the captain.

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Human Embassy<strong>

"I'm not an Alliance soldier, and you don't give me orders. I go where I please, when I please." She crossed her arms and glared at the men across the room. Danger was meeting with the ambassador and captain in the Embassy offices, and the two men were exchanging glances and wondering how to contain the furious mercenary. "You have no right to offer me up as if I'm one of your little chess pieces. I'm not a good little soldier like Jane Shepard."

"Calm down, Danger." Captain Anderson walked over and laid a soothing hand on the woman's shoulder. "We didn't make any guarantees. It's still your choice."

Ambassador Udina brought his fist down on the table. "It's still your choice, but it would be very good for inter-species relations if you were to accept the position and be the matriarch's bodyguard."

Danger looked at the ambassador, and saw the devious political wheels turning in his head. He wanted something, and he wanted to use Danger to get it.

"I'm retired. Why does she want me anyway?"

"She wouldn't say," the captain replied. "All we know is that she is leaving for Thessia tomorrow, and she requested you. The ambassador explained, of course, that you are a freelance and not technically a part of the Alliance, but it is our hope that you will at least consider what this will mean for the human race."

Danger sank into a nearby couch.

_This must be what Jane goes through every day of her life. How does she deal with it? _

It was too much. She needed to get out of there. She wasn't going to play ball with the Alliance, not again. She had already done more than her fair share of 'favors' for the military, and it was high time she started thinking a little more about herself.

"I'm retired. That's final."

Danger stalked out of the Embassy, and went straight to her safe house. She looked around at the small apartment that held nothing but some datapads, some clothes, and tools. It wasn't much, but when she was on the Citadel, she called it home. Slowly, she started packing.

_My transport leaves in an hour. I'd better hurry. _

She packed more slowly.

_Omega, here I come! I hope you are ready for me. _

She had to unpack her clothes now because the tools needed to be on the bottom. She couldn't have her tools on the top.

_These tools are filthy. I can't pack these._

She started polishing the various wrenches, drivers, and ratchets.

_There. That's better._

It was now ten minutes until the transport was scheduled to depart.

_I'd actually better make sure I didn't leave anything in the CamMech 3 before she gets dropped back off at my garages on Earth. I'll come back to finish packing. _

The transport left, without Danger on it.

_Well. I can always catch the next one... _

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Docking level<strong>

The next day, Danger was sitting cross legged on a flight strip as Rolus and Matriarch Terriana stepped out of their transport vehicle.

"Rolus, she's sitting in the middle of a flight strip."

"I can see that, Terriana."

"Why is she in the middle of a flight strip?"

"I don't know. Wishful thinking?" Rolus left the matriarch to ponder what he meant and headed to where Danger sat.

"Changed your mind?"

"I'll escort her to Thessia, but then I'm officially retired."

"Fair enough." The turian smiled. He offered her a hand and helped her to her feet.

"Welcome aboard, Danger."

"Yea yea well don't get used to me. This is a temporary position. This is the last job ever and then I'm retiring. As soon as we get to Thessia I'm booking a transport to Omega."

Danger walked over to the matriarch, nodded once, and then proceeded to grab her things and load them onto the transport ship. They boarded the vessel, and Danger took up a position near the back of the aircraft, with a clear view of the asari.

_For security. Not because I want to look at her. _

Danger leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs, leaned her left elbow on the armrest, and rested her forehead in her hand.

_This is going to be the hardest job of my life. Get off this transport now, you idiot. Get off now. _

But Danger didn't move, and the aircraft took off. Soon they were hopping a relay to take them into asari space, and for the first time in her life Danger wondered what it would be like to have a steady job.


	9. Chapter 8: We'll always have Feros

**Chapter 8: We'll always have Feros**

**-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters**

Commander Jane Shepard awoke and looked at the ceiling. The ship hummed and whirred in its orbit, and it was a soothing sound. At least, it was more soothing than the crystalline pitch that haunted her dreams. Her mind was still racing, trying to piece together the events of the past few days, but every time she seemed to grasp a tendril of reason, it was gone again. She was starting to grow weary, and she knew the journey was only beginning.

_Well, at least the colony on Feros was saved. _

Yes, at least she had managed to accomplish that. She remembered running straight into the colonists' fire, and knocking them out with the butt end of her assault rifle. There were a few close calls where she thought for sure the next bullet would be her last, but somehow the team managed to take down all the Thorian's creepers without killing any of the civilians. It was a miracle.

What wasn't such a miracle was when Fai Dan appeared and blew his head off.

_No, that wasn't such a miracle. I wish she hadn't seen that. She didn't need to see that. _

Jane regretted once again bringing the young and innocent asari scientist on the mission.

_That was a horrific scene she should have never had to witness._

She turned on her side, facing the wall, and wrapped around her pillow. Seeing death was always hard, and eventually soldiers built up a resistance to the empathetic response, but there is something particularly devastating about witnessing when someone takes their own life, especially in such a gruesome way.

_If we had only known about the Thorian from the start, we could have gone there first and maybe avoided all of that bloodshed. We could have gotten down there before it had time to put its creepers in place. We could have done so many things, if all these mega corporations could just be honest and stop putting human lives second and profits first. It's no different out here than it was when it was just us on Earth. We haven't changed a bit._

She rolled onto her other side, and looked at her console. There was still no reply from Danger, and she was beginning to get a little worried. Returning to her back, she put her hands behind her head and closed her eyes.

_I hope she isn't getting into too much trouble. Maybe I will send a message to Captain Anderson to see where she went. _

Her mind drifted back once more to the events of the past day. The Thorian had been a magnificent beast. It reminded her of models of the human heart she had seen in doctors' offices. It was a pulsating entity, and you could just feel the life entering you in its presence.

_That was probably just the spores. _

Jane chuckled. That was so a Danger response. Still, she felt awed in the presence of the creature and it saddened her that it was brought down by her hand. It seemed like she was the supreme dealer of death these days. She hoped that Liara didn't think less of her for it.

Her thoughts turned to the other asari she had met – the one that the Thorian had consumed to turn into a thrall. She had some sort of Cipher that was supposed to unlock the secrets of the Prothean vision, but it still didn't make any sense to Jane. The images were nightmarish, and she wished she had never come near that stupid beacon on Eden Prime. Still, if the Cipher was something that Saren wanted; then she wanted it too. It was always better to have more tools at your disposal in case something happened in the future that could clarify it all.

It had been the first time she had allowed an asari to meld with her, and while it wasn't an unpleasant experience, she did feel violated by the strange woman. Something just didn't seem right about aliens depositing memories into other peoples' heads. Jane couldn't wrap her mind around it. It was like something out of those horror vids she used to watch with Danger. She just didn't think that humans were… ready for it.

_Maybe that's the point. They are certainly more advanced than we are. They have been around far longer. We'll probably get used to it... eventually._

Her thoughts then drifted to her second melding of the day. Interesting that in twenty nine years of existence she had never been exposed to it at all, and then in one day she had two thrust upon her.

_The second one wasn't so bad, though…_

Commander Jane Shepard closed her eyes, smiling and ready to lose herself in daydreams, but then opened them back up. There was no time for more sleep or lazy wonderings. She sat at her console and opened her log again. She needed to get the events onto paper. She could daydream later.

_No… That second meld wasn't so bad at all._

* * *

><p><strong>-Commander's Log, 5:45:11:22<strong>

I don't even know where to begin. It's all blur, and looking over my last entry I'm surprised I was even able to recount the events of the mission with such detail. This woman has completely taken over my mind, and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. I was already interested in her, but after the meld I have become fairly obsessed. I wonder how she feels about me.

The whole thing is so hard to describe. It started when we were all in the comm room, going over the mission details. That other asari, Shiala? I think that was her name. She gave me some… cipher… thing... transferring it directly into my memory somehow. I can't describe exactly what it felt like, but it was cold, and felt almost like a sharp needle pricking into my skull, and then breaking off in it, leaving a small piece behind. Well, that's how Shiala's felt, anyway.

After some discussion about my admittedly limited knowledge regarding what I saw, Liara offered to take a look at the vision to see whether or not she could make any sense of it. I agreed immediately, and braced myself for whatever was going to happen next. I thought that I knew what to expect, now that I had been connected to an asari, but this meld took me by surprise. There was no feeling in the world like it; it was electric. At any moment, it could have turned into something that would have been... very embarrassing in front of the rest of the crew.

I got the feeling that it balanced on the tip of a needle. Stray but a little, lose control of the thin strand holding it to sanity, and the waves could overwhelm you. They threatened to overwhelm me. I pray she didn't notice.

It's interesting how no two melds feel the same, and the intensity is dependent on your direction toward the person. Humans don't even have any native telepathic abilities, so I have never felt anything like it. I had no way of knowing what to expect, and Liara connecting to me threatened to send my senses into overload. I can't imagine what it must be like for two asari. That must be the ultimate show of trust and love in a relationship between them.

I tried to close off my feelings, somehow lock them away where she wouldn't see them, but I think she had gotten a glimpse before I was able to hide them away. Hoping to distract her, I pushed forth all the information I had on the Protheans. It had the desired effect, and though I felt her confusion at the images, I knew that she was immensely grateful for the insight I had given her into the ancient civilization. She truly loves her research, and it made me happy to have been able to give that to her. She might ask me about the other thoughts in the future, but hopefully by then I will have a good response for her. For now, I just needed to transfer all the knowledge I could to this beautiful creature, and keep her connected to me for as long as possible. I never wanted it to end...

But, it did end.

As suddenly as it started, it was all over again. I felt so empty after she was gone, but I put on my best "give me your report, soldier" face, and asked if she could make any sense of what she had seen. I prayed that my emptiness didn't show in my expression, either to her, or the rest of the crew.

All she could confirm were our suspicions about the reapers, but not much else. The vision was scattered, and she thought that the beacon that was transmitting it might have been damaged before transferring the message to me. It would certainly explain why it seems to be in pieces and spurts.

I have to wonder if Saren got the whole message and was the one who damaged the beacon before I got to it. If he did, then he has the entire message, and the entire Cipher. That's a very unsettling thought, but there is nothing I can really do about it. We have what we have, and we'll have to make do with it.

The meld had tired Liara, so I sent her to the doctor to be checked out. I think it might be her youth – she is still coming into her powers as an asari and it's taking a toll on her. Avoiding other people has effectively isolated her from the mental contact that she might otherwise have had with other asari and other species in general. It's the only explanation I can come up with, anyway. Shiala didn't seem to be at all weakened by melding with me, but she must be coming up on her matron years. I'm sure that she is much more accustomed to the aftereffects of such a union.

Liara just needs some rest, and I'll deal with my own feelings later.

**-End entry**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters<strong>**

The commander glanced over the logs, and closed the console. She couldn't really make sense of the words right now. She still felt empty, and somehow incomplete. She wanted to see Liara again. She wanted to feel that presence in her mind again. She wanted to open all her secrets and lay them out for her. Jane couldn't explain it. She just... really wanted to see Liara.

She looked at the corner of the screen, but there was no telltale blinking red light. Danger still hadn't gotten back to her.

_I wonder where she is? I hope she wasn't serious about burying herself in a mountain of bottles on Omega..._

Jane thought about sending another message, but dismissed it almost immediately. If Danger hadn't responded to the first one, she probably wouldn't respond to a second one either. So instead, Jane just cleaned herself up and got dressed.

_I want to see Liara. I should check on her anyway, to see how she is holding up after all that Feros mess. She might need to talk._

Jane Shepard adjusted her uniform, ran her fingers through her hair a couple times, and walked out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters, evening<strong>

**-Commander's Log, 5:55:33:53**

I stood in the doorway for a few moments before entering the room. Liara was pouring over research at a console, and I didn't want to disturb her work. It was a magnificent sight. She would scrunch up her nose when she read over something she didn't quite understand, and then a look of pure joy and enlightenment would cross her face when it fell into place. Eventually, she must have sensed me there, because she turned and asked if she was being checked up on. I wonder what emotions my face betrayed. Sometimes it has a mind of its own, and as much as I try to keep it impassive, it seems to go out of its way to rebel against me. I assured her that I just wanted to make sure she was ok, and suddenly the world that was already spiraling out of control into the depths of space, was thrown for yet another loop...

I asked her if she wanted to pick up where we left off about her interest in the Protheans, and of all the things in the world the woman could have possibly said, she said the one thing that left me completely speechless.

_Actually_, _I believe we_ _were discussing my interest in you_.

I don't think that I will ever forget those words. I wonder if the meld prompted it. I know that I didn't immediately lock away my feelings and she must have caught at least a glimpse... Having no idea what to expect from her presence in my mind, I couldn't really prepare. She must have seen it all, my nervousness, my fascination, my raw desire. She surely knows that I don't make a habit of walking into walls during important missions... I've effectively made a complete fool of myself in front of her, and all it took were some random thoughts floating around in my mess of a head and the magnificent sound of her voice.

The conversation just got more intense from there. Well, first it got comical, and then it got intense. Can you believe she actually asked me if I was involved with Alenko? It was the most ludicrous thing I had ever heard. I can't imagine where she got that idea from. After that, she came right out and asked me if I was interested in her; if there was a, 'mutual attraction'. For someone who claimed she was so bad at dealing with people and isolated herself to avoid confrontation... She sure goes right for the jugular...

Gosh, Liara… What do _you_ think? I take you with me everywhere, I walk into walls when you are around, I can't manage to drive a rover in a straight line, and I nearly ripped all your clothes off in the comm room when you connected to me. Nah, I'm totally into Kaidan, who I think I have talked to a collective one time since getting assigned to this mission.

And now, after that conversation, here I sit wondering what the hell to do next. I really wish Danger were here. How many times have I wished that now? She'd have something funny to say to put it all into perspective. She'd know exactly how to handle this. She'd tell me exactly what to do.

Liara asked me for some time, I guess to sort out her emotions now that they are in the open, and to be honest, I think I need some too. My log is starting to look like a "Dear Diary" and with a mission of this importance; I can't really allow this level of distraction. This endangers everyone.

Why didn't I go to Feros first, instead of Therum?

Well, I really shouldn't think that way. If I had delayed in going to Therum, then Liara would probably be dead, either of starvation or the geth would have gotten to her. And even if she was alive, it would have only delayed the inevitable. Eventually, I would have had to seek her out, because of her connection to Benezia. Eventually, I would have come face to face with her.

No, I made the right decision.

I'm just going to have to try to put it all out of my mind and focus on the next mission.

You know, I never thought it would happen to me.

Ever.

**-End entry**


	10. Chapter 9: Choices

**Chapter 9: Choices**

**-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters, several weeks later  
><strong>

Commander Jane Shepard stormed into the room and threw her datapad on the floor. She stared at it for a moment, and then brought her booted heel down upon the screen, over and over, breaking the unit into several small fragments. She then picked up the pieces and laid them out on her table. Unstrapping a small knife from her belt, she reversed it in her hand and used the hilt to smash what was left of the unit. She chased each individual piece of plastic and metal, and brought the knife down like a hammer again and again, calling forth all the rage and bloodlust; drawing from the pools of platinum and filling the air with crystalline shards of anger and pain. Again and again she brought the knife down on the helpless computer, until the datapad was nothing more than a few wires and dust, and her hand was bloodied from gripping the knife so hard.

She threw the it at the wall, lodging the blade deep into the metal, and leaned on the table, releasing the lightning and relaxing her muscles. The room cleared, and she thought she could hear the voice, somewhere in the distance, crying for her.

_I'm not sorry. It was childish, but I'm not sorry. This wasn't fair, and the universe should never have asked it of me. _

Jane tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling. Fate was being particularly cruel to her these days, and she wasn't sure if she was going to have the strength to continue. She pushed away from the table, and tossed her weapons onto it, with the now useless datapad. Her body was sticky with sweat and blood, and she needed to clean herself up. She stepped into the bathroom, removed her armor, and then the uniform she wore beneath it. Turning on the water as hot as it would go, she stepped into the shower and let it scald her skin.

_Good. I deserve to feel a little pain after what I did. Why did the universe bring this to me? Why are these decisions mine? It's unfair to bring her into my life, and then force me to rip everything she loves from her. It's cruel, and I don't find it amusing. _

Jane lifted her head and let the water stream across her face. It stung, but only slightly. She had endured far worse in the dreams. This small physical sting was barely a drop in the bucket compared to _that_. She turned around, and leaned forward against the wall, letting the water cascade down her back, washing away the guilt and the pain she felt. She was in spiritual agony, and she wanted to be hurt a little bit. It would help her cope. It would help her heal. It would help her...

_Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it! _

She slammed her fist against the wall, and shut her eyes tightly, hoping to hold back the tears. She couldn't cry, not right now. She didn't deserve to cry, and release the pain.

_I wonder if Liara is crying right now. I wonder if she hates me... No, she doesn't hate_ _me. She understands... I saw it in her eyes. _

_She doesn't hate me..._

_..._

_But she should._

Jane pushed off the wall and straightened up. She looked down at herself, and wasn't surprised to see new bruises. It seemed like every day she got in the shower now, there were new bruises. She grabbed a small bar of soap, and cleaned herself up. Stepping back out of the small utility, she looked in the mirror at her slim, but muscular form. Her body still looked mostly the same, but something subtle had changed. Something... was different.

_You're aging, Jane. This is stressing you out. When this is over, you are going to need a really long vacation... Maybe on Omega..._

She shook her head and walked out of the room, moving over to the trunk where she kept her clothes and other belongings. She pulled a fresh uniform out and slipped it on. It felt constricting, suffocating. It was the reason she made the decisions she made; performed the deeds she did. She was a soldier, and she did it all in the name of the Alliance, and in the name of humanity. She did it all, for love of country, or some other romantic bullshit she had been taught in the academy. They taught her all of that nonsense, and she believed every word... until now.

Now it was all ringing hollow, as she stood there, miserable and alone, knowing that her only love's heart had been broken by her hand. It all seemed empty now, that sense of duty that was supposed to make everything so clear. It was all just... so devoid of purpose... now.

Jane lowered her head, and sat in front of her console, leaning back in the chair. Maybe logging the day's events would help her channel her pain and rage, and help her cope.

It couldn't hurt, anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>Commander's Log 7:22:12:21<strong>

Today was one of the worst days of my life. I don't know what possessed me to take the team to Noveria next, but now I wish I had saved it until very last, or found some way to get out of going at all. Maybe I should have gone before picking up Liara. No, that might have actually been worse. Then she would have seen me as the woman who killed her mother, without even really knowing why, and she probably would have died on Therum. Damn these choices I have to make! None of them are any good!

After coming back to my quarters, I destroyed the datapad that gave me the idea in the first place. It was childish, I know, but right now I don't really care. No one can see me anyway, and I need to let out a little rage. The universe has put me in an incredibly impossible position. How can it put someone in my path that I would fall madly in love with, and then force me to raise my hand and strike down her only parent? Why? Fuck the universe.

The second we arrived, I knew I wasn't going to like the place. It stunk of treachery and lies. Danger might have enjoyed the intrigue, but I prefer the direct approach. Places like that always set my nerves on edge. Maybe it's the paragon in me; I don't know. I just cannot stand the deceit and all the corruption. Everyone is out to screw everyone else over a few creds. It sickens me.

We found out that Liara's mother was on site, and it turned my blood to ice. There was something foreboding about the news, something I couldn't put my finger on. Liara was excited at the prospect of seeing the mother she hadn't spoken to in many years, but I feared what this meeting might bring, given the matriarch's recent allegiance with Saren. I knew what was to come. I could smell it in the air. A soldier can always sense when death is near. It's in our training, it's in our blood. It's in our eyes every time we pull a trigger and take a life. It's always haunting our steps, and crushing our dreams. War is the province of soldiers, and every single one of us brings our escort of death to the table of eternity.

It turns out that I was right. In the end, the soldier in me had to overcome the woman, and I had to kill my love's only parent.

I will never forgive myself.

...

Well, I am sure that I will have plenty of time to punish myself later. Right now, I should just log the events and try to stop feeling... everything.

...

Making our way to the chamber of death, as I am now calling it, wasn't any more difficult than other trips we had made, but I took my time about this one. I could feel Liara's eyes on me, willing me to drive faster, but I just couldn't. She didn't know what was to come; she was far too naive to believe that her mother was beyond hope. How _could_ she believe that? She couldn't. That would mean she had already given up on her only known family. There was no way that she could believe the woman who had cared about her so much as a child had turned so evil, and was beyond redemption. I may have known, deep down, but Liara still believed and I couldn't bear to shatter her heart with the truth. She is such a beautiful soul. I hate what this mission is forcing her to endure.

I made sure we stopped at every anomaly on the way; every single disabled vehicle that lay in the snow. I would have even stopped to examine every snowflake, if I thought I could get away with it... I think Tali understood what I was doing. She's a smart one, and she has already seen treachery in her short life, coming face to face with rogue agents of the Shadow Broker. She knows the score. In any event, she remained silent and allowed me my indulgence. She either approved, or knew better than to say anything out loud. Either way, I was grateful for her silence.

When we finally made it to the building, I made a point of examining every piece of disabled equipment and checking every door. Liara was sending me sidelong glances, but I ignored them and effectively ignored her. In retrospect, I probably should have been a little more supportive, but at that moment in time all I could think of was protecting her from pain for as long as possible. I should have just taken her in my arms. I should have comforted her, and told her I was here for her. There are so many things that I should have done... But the soldier in me closed up, and instead, I delayed us.

Getting the facility's systems back online wasn't a hard task, but when I entered the central computer's core to fix the memory banks, I leaned against the side for several moments and thought about whether or not life would go on if I never came back up. It was a ridiculous notion, of course. Tali and Liara wouldn't have stood up there waiting for me to just die in this silly computer's cylinder, but I wasn't feeling particularly rational at the moment. I just wanted to hide down there, in that hole, for the rest of eternity.

Eventually, though, I had to finish moving the memory banks. I was taking too long, and I could hear Liara suggesting to Tali that maybe my computer skills weren't up to snuff for this task. She wasn't right about my skills in this particular instance, but she was right that I had lingered beyond what was reasonable. We had to press forward.

We brought the rest of the systems online shortly and the facility jerked back to life. I looked at my omni-tool and saw that evening was coming upon us. Maybe I could get away with suggesting we camp for the night. We took the tram to the Rift Station, and I almost cried with relief. We'd be able to take a break before moving onward. There was an encampment of sorts where we could resupply and rest, and it was the most welcome sight I had ever seen in my life. I informed the squad we would stay the night, and then move on the next day. Gosh, I would do anything to delay that meeting. I spent an exorbitant amount of time haggling with the elcor merchant there, and talked to every single solitary being in the place. Liara was starting to get very annoyed with me, but I wasn't going to budge. We'd continue in the morning.

And as with all things that come all the more quickly as you try to avoid them, morning came and an eager Liara was sitting on the floor next to the bunk I had stretched out on, just watching me. I wondered whether or not she had been to sleep at all, but thought better of asking. There was no more time. I could no longer stave off the inevitable.

We had to press forward, and I had to face fate.

Well, at least when we entered the hot labs there were things to fight. That's something that I understand. I wasn't sure at the time exactly what those things were, but they were attacking us and that was all the information I needed to unload my weapons. I barely heard the comments my teammates were making. I just allowed myself to fall into the trance of battle and dance with fate. I didn't channel the platinum this time, though. This time, I wanted to feel all the pain... just me.

Fate was about to catch up to me, after all. I may as well embrace it, while my blood still runs hot...

**-End Entry**

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters<strong>

Jane leaned back in her chair. Everything was going all wrong. She thought back to the confrontation with Liara's mother, and examined it from every angle.

_Could I have handled it differently? Could we have disabled her somehow, and brought her back to the Normandy to see if there was some way to break the indoctrination?_

Liara had assured the commander that she was fine, and that she wished to remember Benezia as she was before Saren had taken hold, but Jane had traveled the galaxy and seen things that would turn any ordinary woman's mind insane. She knew that being forced to not only watch her mother die, but watch her die by her own hand… Well it could undo the young scientist. It had nearly undone Jane.

_War is the province of soldiers, not scientists._

Jane read back over her log entry, and shook her head. She wanted to comfort Liara, but the asari had seemed to want to be alone. That was fine; Jane wasn't going to push it. Liara would come seek her out when she was ready.

_I hope..._

Jane thought back to the beginning of this trip, when she sat in this very cabin, contemplating whether or not she was even strong enough to handle the tasks ahead. Back then, she didn't even have a clue she was to fall in love, and then have to murder her heart's mother. Back then, she didn't know that platinum rage was to run through her veins and drive her mad with bloodlust, haunting her every step as she reached for it with unconscious thought. She still didn't understand what was happening to her, but between the dreams, the Prothean visions, and being forced to slay almost every beautiful and powerful creature in the galaxy, she felt it was only a matter of time before her mind truly did come undone. She was going insane, and the worst part was that she had absolutely no one to lean on. Who could possibly understand? Who would even believe her? No one.

_I feel like I've aged another lifetime. How is that even possible?_

She closed her eyes, and tried to make sense of all her racing thoughts. The paragon in her always compelled her to do the moral thing, including setting free the Rachni queen, but now she wondered whether or not she did it for the right reasons. Did she really believe that the Rachni were benign, or did she set it free merely out of guilt over killing the Thorian... Would the majestic creature find a comfortable and isolated world to build her brood in peace, or would she turn on Jane and join the Reapers in their quest to wipe out civilization? She had no way of knowing whether or not she made the right decision. Only time would tell, and at that moment, the phrase struck Jane as incredibly trite.

_Well, at least Liara approved of one thing I did today. She was happy I set the Rachni Queen free. I guess that alone makes it worth it, at least to me personally. Whether or not it will be worth it to the rest of the galaxy... That remains to be seen, I guess._

The weight of her task was starting to bear down on her. She wanted to weep, for all the lives already lost and all the lives that were surely doomed as she moved forward, but her eyes remained dry.

_Maybe I am becoming like Saren. Damnit Danger, where the hell are you? I can't deal with all of this alone…_

As if on cue, her console started beeping, and Jane Shepard jerked forward in her chair, grateful to finally hear back from her friend.


	11. Chapter 10: Haunting dreams

**Chapter 10: Haunting dreams**

**-Heavens, Undisclosed location**

_They sat together, looking once again at the play board in front of them.__ He could tell that she was angry, but there was little he could do. Long ago he had decided that he would not force any of his children into situations they were not interested in, and he had stood by that decree of 'free will' for millenia. He could not break one of his most ancient of tenets now, just because his champion had shown no interest in her chosen daughter. She would have to 'get over it'.  
><em>

_"This is not going according to plan."_

_He nodded. "It is not, but there is still time. Perhaps I should have selected a different mate for her. My Champion is focused on the machine-gods, now that my humans are aware of the threat. It is actually good, my friend. Your people aren't moving at all, and the machine-gods are coming. They are coming, and it is up to us to stop them."_

_She decided to change the subject. "Have you heard from Keelah?"_

_He nodded happily. "I have, and she has offered one of her most gifted daughters to our cause. My Champion has already collected her, as well as Hollow's mighty krogan son. Valluvian has even joined us, and one of his sons also follows my Chosen. We are all in this together, so you need to decide what to do now. Do you allow the child to stay, and risk her life in this cause, or do you remove her?"_

_"I don't have a choice, now that Benezia is gone." She snapped at him, but he just sat there calmly, knowing that she did not wish this burden on the youngest of her line. It pained her to have to put one so close to her straight into the fire. "I am a part of this as well, and I will not stand by and allow the machine-gods to just trample all that we have created again. She will stay with your Champion, but I do not wish to give up on our original pairing agreement. It may be that something will grow, if I keep inserting them into situations together and find a way to get rid of that... other... human."_

_ He nodded. "I am glad you are still with us on this. I know that you didn't intend for the young one to get caught up in the fight, but we need will need your people as well if we are going to win this time. I know that there is... no one left... for you to send."_

_"There are some left to send, but none that are ready right now. She isn't even ready, but I know what's at stake. She is the closest I have at the moment. It must be her, and I must push my personal feelings aside." She leaned back in her chair and crossed one leg over the other. "I understand what is at stake better than most of you. I no longer have the luxury of time, and I didn't realize the machine-gods' influence was so far reaching already. I would have intervened, and this wouldn't have happened..." She turned her face away from him, and he focused his gaze on the board, allowing her this moment to grieve the loss of one of her most powerful matriarchs. _

_"Very well then. I can promise you this, my friend: My Champion will be ready, and she will guard all of them with the vigilance of the Silver Hand. She will be ready, when the time comes."_

_She looked back at him, a lone teardrop in her eye. "I hope so, Palladium. I hope so. These few are our last, best hope, and if they do not succeed... I don't think that I will participate in the next rebuild of civilization. I cannot keep doing this..." Her head fell forward into her hands, and she wept, for all the lives lost and souls scattered over the millions of years they had ruled these heavens. He stood, and knelt beside her, taking her in his massive arms and turning her head into his shoulder. _

_"They will succeed, Athame. My Champion is the best that ever lived among my children, and she will save the universe. She will save it for us all."_

_He looked at the high crystalline ceiling that adorned the room they were in, and fought back his own tears as he lent his strength to his oldest and dearest of friends.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>-Dreams<em>  
><strong>

_It was the single most captivating sight I had ever seen. _

_The woman has her back turned to me, the moonlight glistening on her pale blue skin. She must have just had a bath, and was refreshing herself in the cool night air. The only acknowledgment she gives of being aware of my presence is a slight turning of her head, revealing light circular patterns high on her cheekbones. My breath catches in my throat, and I feel every muscle start to tense. It is beginning. _

_She turns back to the window now, where she is watching the younger maidens train, seemingly unimpressed with my intrusion. I feel certain that if she wanted to, she could run with the strongest of them. Her skin is perfectly smooth, and betrays nothing of her advanced age. Her lithe form is that of a dancer, untainted by the debauchery that so many of her younger kin fall victim to. _

_She is wearing a thin silken gown that sits low on her shoulders, and I feel certain that it wouldn't take much encouragement for it to fall to the floor. The thought sends the beginnings of electrical current coursing through my veins, and I move as silently as an assassin to stand behind her. Her scent is intoxicating; I close my eyes and inhale deeply. She doesn't move away, though she is surely aware of my proximity, but she doesn't move closer, either. _

_I open my eyes again and raise one hand to trace the faint circular patterns that dot her shoulders. Her skin is magnificently soft, and I feel it shiver beneath my touch as I slowly move up her neck. The electricity is faint, but it is there. I close my eyes and allow my other hand to grip her waist, and I pull her body against me. I feel her breathing shift, and it sends waves of desire through me. She pushes back into me, and I lower my head to the soft area of her shoulder where my hand was previously tracing her perfect patterns and bite gently. It elicits the response I am looking for, and I feel her body start to rise and push desperately against mine. She tilts her head forward, exposing more flesh for me to explore, and I respond by leaving a fiery trail of soft bites up the base of her neck. _

_I allow my free hand to drop to the other side of her waist, and I pull her against me, hard. Now I can no longer deny nor suppress the emotions crashing over me. The shock waves start deep in my belly, and course through my veins to my fingertips. Her every movement ignites fires and I fear it might overwhelm me. But it's not enough._

_I move her slightly to the right and push her body against the wall, pinning her with my weight and ignoring the open window. She uses her hands to brace herself, and pushes back against me, almost as if we were sparring. I bite harder on her neck, and a gasp escapes my partner's lips. I marvel at how well we fit together. I am only slightly shorter, but her longer legs allow her body to fit into mine as if we were carved for each other. Her asari dancer form molds perfectly into my stockier human one. _

_I allow my hands to move up her body, relishing the way the silk feels underneath my touch, but I want more than that. The gown is too much of a barrier between my touch and her skin, and it has to go. I reach up and remove her hands from the wall, pinning them behind her back. I get the feeling that she could end this at any time, but she makes no move to stop me, and so I hold her hands with my left and with my right gently encourage the shift to slide down her arms and fall to the floor. Replacing her hands on the wall and covering them with my own, I push against her again, and the quiet moans it elicits from her throat cause my eyes to involuntarily roll back into my head. I cannot see, and I am drunk with desire. I must explore every inch of this magnificent creature. The electricity forcing its way through my veins is very close to overwhelming me, and I cannot wait much longer. _

_She turns her head to look at me, and my breath catches at the sight of her deep blue eyes, pleading for my touch. I move against her again, almost trying to mold us into the wall, and I feel her barriers drop and her body respond to my silent question. I circle across her breasts up to her shoulder with my left arm, pinning her tightly against me, and paint a trail of fire across her belly with my right. She writhes and pushes against my body as my hand slowly drops lower, tentatively seeking to join us together. The electricity is threatening to overwhelm her as well, and she twists slightly, silently asking for my lips. I close my eyes and feel rather than see hers turn to obsidian, as I push into her and swallow the whispered joining words with my..._

* * *

><p>"<strong>DANGER!"<strong>

_Shit what in the HELL going on here. Where am I?_

Danger fell off the chair in her office and hit her head hard on her new filing cabinet.

_Ow, god damn it. I don't find this funny anymore. This room is too god damned small._

Rolus, Matriarch Terriana's advisor, stood over Danger in the small quarters that served as an office for the newly appointed head of security.

"Danger, what are you doing?"

"Ugh, I guess I fell asleep in the chair. "

"Then why are you on the floor?"

"I. Gosh. I fell out. Ow.. My head."

"Why did you fall out?"

"Rolus, I don't know. This chair is too comfortable. I need to get rid of it."

Her mind involuntarily flashed back to her dream, and she had to suppress the faint trace of electricity that lingered. She definitely wanted to dissect it, but now was not the time.

"What do you need, anyway Rolus?" she asked, attempting to dust off her shirt and look as professional as she could, sitting on the floor.

"There has been a terrible tragedy, and the Matriarch Terriana's presence has been requested. Matriarch Benezia has passed."

"Oh damn. Were they close?"

_God damn it, why does everyone always seem to interrupt the good dreams? Damned inconvenient asari, dying all over the place... _

"Matriarch Terriana was a follower of Benezia's in her matron years, yes. She is saddened by the passing."

"All right, let me. Let me get off the floor and I'll be right there."

Rolus left, and Danger leaned back against the filing cabinet.

_These dreams are getting far too intense. One of these days I'm going to sleepwalk right into her room. _

As the weeks drew on, Danger felt herself becoming more and more vested in her job. It ceased being just a paycheck, and she found that she looked forward to Rolus's visits because it meant that Terriana needed her for something. Sometimes the woman would even come to the offices on her own. Those were Danger's favorite times.

_You really need to leave, girl. It's definitely time to bail..._

She knew it was time to get out and she kept a bag packed just next to the door. She would surely leave tomorrow. Omega was still waiting for her. Surely tomorrow would be the day she started her new life.

Burying her face in her hands, Danger wished again that she had never taken this stupid job. This can't possibly end well.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Benezia's Compound <strong>

There wasn't much for Danger to do but sit with Rolus and watch as the various elder asari chatted amongst each other, all abuzz about the passing of Matriarch Benezia. Rolus looked completely bored, and Danger just watched Terriana.

_I have to keep an eye on her for security reasons, of course. After all, I am the head of security, right? _

That's what she told herself, anyway.

She wondered what was going on behind the woman's impenetrable mask. Matriarch Terriana rarely showed any emotion, and when she did, it was usually anger at Danger for something or another.

_She actually blows up at me a lot, come to think of it. I wonder why she even keeps me around._

She looked at Rolus, who was fiddling with an Omni-tool and not really paying attention to his surroundings.

_I should have brought something to read. Or something._

"How long do these proceedings usually last?" she asked him.

"Oh, until they get tired of gossiping. The asari may fancy themselves advanced beings, but when it comes down to it they still have all the traits that women of other races have."

He turned back to his Omni-tool and continued fiddling.

_Right. Of course they do. _

She crossed her arms and scanned the room, looking for the matriarch. Terriana was making her way through the crowd, smiling at the other dignitaries and softly touching their hands. Danger couldn't tear her eyes away. The matriarch was wearing a silver gown underneath a deep black robe, and it was cut low at the front, leaving little to the mercenary's imagination. With every movement the woman made, the silver fabric shimmered and light danced in the air surrounding her. Danger wondered what the gown was made out of.

_Wow. I've never seen anything like her in my life. She is perfect. She is stunning. She is... really distracting me..._

Danger noticed that Rolus was watching her, with an almost... knowing... look on his face. She sat up in the chair and glanced at him.

"How did she die, anyway?"

Now he just looked shocked. "You don't already know? Your soldier buddy killed her. I thought you would have been the first to hear about it."

Danger slapped her forehead. _Shit, Jane. I haven't checked my console in weeks. I've been too wrapped up in all…_

She looked at Terriana who was now talking with a very dark skinned asari with rectangular patterns crossing her forehead that looked to be in mid matron years.

_This... I need to check my damn console. _

"I had no idea. I haven't checked my messages in… Well since I got here I guess."

Rolus looked at her quizzically, but let the matter drop.

The matriarch glanced at them, and Danger nodded, letting her know she was still watching. She thought she saw the woman... smile... but it could have been her imagination.

"Well, if it's any consolation, the word is that Benezia was under some sort of mind control and attacked her own daughter, who was with your soldier friend at the time. They had no choice but to kill her."

"She attacked her own daughter? That's harsh. Well I know that Jane wouldn't kill someone just for the fun of it. She isn't like that."

He nodded thoughtfully. "No, I don't suppose she is like that."

Danger settled back in her seat and scanned the room again for Terriana. She spotted her talking with some salarian visitors, and made a mental note of the colors the two were wearing. She would get into contact with Jane later when this was all over. For now, she had to keep an eye on the matriarch.

_I have to earn my money, right? I can't let her out of my sight for a moment. It's my job! Who knows what threats could be present here? _

Danger smiled, and rested her hands behind her head. She leaned back, crossed one leg over the other, and followed the matriarch's movements through the room, nodding every time the woman glanced her way.

_I wonder why she smiles like that. Maybe her last bodyguard wasn't as alert, and she's happy to have someone who is keeping an eye on her. Yea, that's got to be it._

Danger grinned to herself, dug deeply into her thoughts, and prepared for an extremely boring evening.


	12. Chapter 11: A brief reprieve

**Chapter 11: A Brief Reprieve**

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, Security Offices Com Link<strong>

"Jane! You look like hell. What happened?"

Commander Jane Shepard stared at her friend's image on the screen, and tried to make sense of the woman's surroundings. They were… eloquent.

"Danger, where the hell are you? Did you break into some rich guy's house to use his phone?"

The mercenary tried to look innocent as she answered, "I'm on Thessia."

Jane's jaw dropped. "You're on Thes.. Are you serious? For the love of soup, Danger, you hit on ONE asari and now you are invading their home planet? This is insane even for you." She shook her head in wonder.

"Yea about that, you will never believe what happened. Well, after our little mission, the matriarch requested I escort her back to Thessia. The creds were decent and well, I had nothing better to do anyway. Curiosity, you know. So I'm on my best behavior, which is to say, I stammered and stuttered like an idiot the entire time, and the trip is pretty uneventful. THEN, her assistant Rolus offers me a job as her personal bodyguard. Can you believe that? So now I'm here, living on Thessia, and escorting her all over the galaxy. That's why it's taken so long for me to get back to you. She runs me pretty ragged and I have to sit through all the unclassified meetings. Sometimes I think she is trying to bore me to death."

Jane's head was swimming. Why did nothing make sense these past few weeks? Danger insulted an important asari diplomat, and now was her personal bodyguard? It was ludicrous. She shook her head, hoping to clear it.

"Gosh Danger, why did you accept?"

For the first time, Danger actually looked confused. "I don't know why, and at the same time I do. I'd rather not get into all that though. That's not the purpose of this call. What's going on with you? Your note sounded kind of desperate…"

The commander leaned back in the chair. Where to begin?

"I was hit by the thunderbolt."

"Oh shit! Are you serious, Jane? It's about time! Let me guess, Matriarch Benezia's kid, right? I just heard about that mess, and the word is you were there with her baby girl when it happened. Don't tell me _you_ got it for an asari now. Is she hot?"

"I don't know, Danger. It doesn't make any sense. One minute I'm fighting off geth and everything is fine, and the next, the entire world stands still and all I can hear is her voice."

"Yep, you got it bad. I wish I could have been there to see it. It must have been magnificent, to see the always-in-command Jane Shepard stammer like me!"

"Don't be an ass. I don't know what to do and this could seriously compromise the mission."

"Pft, you and your stupid missions. _This_ is actually important. Is she interested in you too?"

"Apparently so, but she's not diving in headfirst. She asked for some time and frankly, I need some time too. With all that's been happening – Saren, Geth, gosh having to kill her mother…"

"Yea..." Danger said, suddenly somber. "I'm sure that was hard for her. Everyone around here is mourning the loss. The matriarch has been pretty quiet these past few days. She's barely yelled at me." Danger suddenly perked up. "Taking it slow is probably a good thing anyway, Jane. The last thing you need to do is forget about saving the universe because you can't bring yourself to get out of bed."

"You have such a wonderful way of putting things into perspective, Danger."

"Do you want my advice? Make her part of your away teams. Every single team. The more time you spend together, the better chance you have of getting annoyed with each other."

"That's your advice?"

"Yep, that's my advice. In fact, I'm following my own advice right now. What better way to get sick of an asari matriarch than to spend every second protecting her?"

"Is it working?"

"It's too soon to tell. Right now, I'm kind of just enjoying the view. You know these asari work out in the garden like, all day and night? They do it in shifts. I'm starting to see what you appreciate about them."

Jane slapped her forehead in exasperation.

"Danger, I don't want to hear word that you were impaled for hitting on some Justicar. I still can't believe you invaded Thessia. THESSIA, Danger. It's fucking insane."

Danger shuddered. "Don't worry; I can see _those_ asari coming a mile away. Scary as hell. I don't want to get tangled up with one of them. Well… maybe. No definitely not. I'm sure it's far more enjoyable in my head. Nah, I think I'll just stick to my duties, and keep building that retirement fund. Are you going to be ok?"

"Yea, I should be fine."

"Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you bring your new girl to the Citadel for drinks? I have to escort Terriana there to meet with a salarian ambassador in a couple weeks and it might be good for you to take a break from saving the world."

"Terriana, huh?"

Danger shrugged. "Apparently I'm allowed now, but only sometimes. I have to gauge when she's in the mood to let me be friendly." She scrunched up her nose. "It's not easy."

"Well drinks sound great. I'm sure that Liara won't mind getting off the ship and stretching a bit. Will it be just you?"

"That's her name? Very pretty." Danger tapped a finger on her cheek thoughtfully. "Yep, it will be just me unless one of these lovely young maidens outside decides she just can't live without me." Danger clasped her heart and leaned back dramatically. "You know how irresistible they all find my lovely blonde locks."

Jane did know, and for a split second was a little nervous... Asari seemed to really like Danger for some reason, and always swarmed her when they went to the flux. She studied her friend over the video link, and smiled. She knew Danger and knew that there was no way she'd try to step out with Liara. The mercenary had always been a good friend to her, and had never done anything like that before.

The question was whether Liara would try to step out with Danger…

_Oh I hope not. For once, just let someone be interested in me... _

"Yea well, you just keep a handle on yourself. Don't taste too many of the delicacies their goddess has provided. That kind of behavior always seems to come back to haunt you."

"Relax, old friend. I haven't sampled a thing. This whole thing is just a… Freak accident or something."

"Well just send me the dates you will be there and when you want to meet up. We'll see you in a couple weeks."

"All right! See you then, and I'm really looking forward to meeting this asari of yours."

Jane turned off the console, and got ready for bed. Talking with Danger hadn't exactly cleared up her head, but she did feel better now. It would be good to see her and take a break from all this serious galactic bullshit. She lay down on her bed, and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, Outside the Security Office<strong>

Matriarch Terriana backed away from the door, and scowled. She had come to see if Danger was available to provide security while she went over some logs in the garden. She'd taken to doing that fairly often, even though there was no risk of her being attacked with hundreds of asari warriors training in the area. Danger never refused though, and just quietly reclined next to her while she listened to whatever she was currently working on. In fact, she found that more and more often she was drifting off during the actual meetings, just so she could catch up on them later in the gardens with her bodyguard.

She had meant to knock but heard voices coming from within the room. Clearly, Danger was chatting with someone. Despite her upbringing and her conscience fairly screaming at her to walk away, she leaned closer to the door and just… listened. The human was talking with that soldier friend of hers, and they were going to get together for drinks.

_You won't be going to have drinks with Shepard alone, or with one of those maidens._

Terriana stalked back to her offices and told Rolus she was not to be disturbed for the next several days, especially by Danger.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Nightmares<strong>_

_She was getting closer. The planet of swords still loomed very far off in the distance, but Jane felt she was definitely getting closer. She was also getting stronger, and she was no longer afraid when she slipped into slumber and awoke in the platinum wonderland. The pain and the blood had become of part of it all, and she had almost started to look forward to it. _

_Almost._

How must I clear this trial?

_She was standing this time, but the land wasn't flat like it had been before. Mountains adorned the horizon, and their peaks were hidden by platinum clouds. She thought she saw lightning dancing across the edge of the veil, but couldn't really be sure. The swords were singing. The staircase was near._

I must get through the mountain path. I must arrive.

_Jane started walking, and almost laughed when she felt the wind pick up gravel from the ground and attempt to slow her down with it. She felt it dig into her skin, and splinter off as the force of the air carried through her. It felt like the splinters were moving, they were changing; they were digging into her bloodstream and coaxing the life essence out. It dripped over her skin, as she pushed forward. The debris rained down upon her, and wriggled into her veins, attempting to slow her movements and congeal her blood. _

_It just made her angry. _

_She focused on a point in the distance, and then closed her eyes. She tested her injured left ankle, but couldn't feel the weakness this night. Something was lending her strength, and as the realization dawned on her, the song of the swords grew louder. The voice wanted her to channel it. The voice wanted her to have it. _

_She opened her mouth and sang with the swords as she ran forward, intent on nothing but the mountains and the singing and the lightning. She ran forward with all her power and will and endurance, and caught the wind in her hands and tore it asunder with platinum electricity. She laughed as she sang, and she sang as she ran, and she ran as she slashed and split the gale in two. The air bowed to her, and she ran faster, testing her endurance and pushing her body to its limits, as the blood trailed out on the silver path behind her. _

_She sang a different note, and the mountains crumbled at her approach. The silver clouds parted, and as she shattered her bones running into a quartz barrier, she glimpsed the stairwell. The voice was pleased with her, and the swords clattered together, and changed the key of their song. _

_She closed her eyes, and willed her broken bones through the wall. _

I must arrive… I must arrive.

_A wave of silver ice shattered the crystalline universe, and carried Jane away into the darkness…_

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Salarian Embassy, One Week Later<strong>

Danger sat outside the offices patiently, waiting for the meeting to end so she could transport Matriarch Terriana to her next destination and head off to meet her friend. She looked at the schedule on the datapad, and shook her head. Something wasn't right. Something was missing.

She shook the machine, turned it off and back on, but there was still something not quite right about the schedule. Something was just not there. She checked to make sure it was synchronized with her main terminal back at the compound, but everything checked out.

Someone had canceled an appointment or two…

_Shit. That can't be good…_

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Flux<strong>

"Oh come on, it wasn't THAT bad. It was only one cliff and it was barely dangerous. In fact, we probably could have just hopped down," Danger said, musing. "Then again, using the car was much more dramatic. You should have seen it, Liara. Jane picked up the matriarch in one arm, and that turian dude in the other, and rode the hood of my rover like a surfboard, shooting at the compound with a gun she held in her teeth! In her TEETH! It was epic!" She pointed to her own teeth to emphasize her point.

Danger grinned as she looked at her friend, who was clearly not pleased with her interpretation of events. She and Jane were trying to explain to Liara the details of their most recent mission together, but Danger kept embellishing the facts and trying to make Jane look like more of a hero.

"You nearly killed all of us. Really, Liara, it was nothing at all like she is describing."

"Well, I got us out alive, _commander_. That's all I was contracted to do. I left the heroics up to you." She turned to Liara. "And believe me, she was heroic. You should have seen how she literally scaled the side of the building, FIVE STORIES HIGH, stopping at each window to shoot inside and kill the guards. When she got to the top, she backflipped off the wall, shooting her assault rifle in one hand and her pistol in the other, just raining bullets down on those pirates. THEN, she ran into the compound, and just created this MASSIVE biotic field that filled the whole place, and it gently lifted and carried the matriarch and the turian to my car. You really should have seen it. That building was FIVE STORIES HIGH!" She held her right hand up, all five fingers extended and nodded sagely at the young asari.

Liara hid a giggle behind her hands, and looked shyly at Jane. She knew that Danger was making the story up, but it warmed her heart to see how much Jane's friend cared about her. It was obvious that Danger approved of their relationship, and was encouraging it in her own way. She was glad Jane had come and fetched her for this outing.

Jane just threw up her hands in exasperation. There was just no talking to Danger when she got on a rant like this. Instead, she turned to Liara for support, but the young asari just shrugged, and kept smiling.

"I was not there, but she does have a point. Matriarch Terriana is alive, and it is a very good story."

"You aren't helping, Liara. Don't take her side, and DON'T encourage her! I wish you hadn't even asked her. None of that is how it happened. I'm not even fitted for a biotic amp."

"I am not taking anyone's side. Objectively speaking, Danger is correct. The matriarch is alive."

"And the matriarch is deeply saddened at your loss, my child," Terriana interrupted. "Benezia was a respected and dear friend of mine for many years, and I know she was very proud of you. She was not upset that you left to find yourself." She moved to embrace Liara, and the younger asari allowed the older woman to comfort her.

After a time, she stepped back and looked at the elder. "Thank you, Matriarch Terriana. That means so much to me."

"Child, if there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to contact me."

"Thank you."

Jane looked at Liara and could tell that she was moved by the matriarch's words. They hadn't really had a chance to talk about Benezia and the whole situation, but she knew enough to know that Liara had always wondered if her mother was angry. She sensed a moment of indecision, a hesitation in the young asari, and guessed that Liara was struggling with whether to ask Terriana about who her "father" was. Surely the matriarch would know, but Liara didn't ask. Maybe she really didn't want to know, deep down.

Jane turned her gaze to her mercenary friend. Danger was fidgeting. No doubt she was uncomfortable. When they had planned this meeting, they hadn't planned on Matriarch Terriana joining them. Jane wondered briefly why the elder asari was there, and made a mental note to ask Danger about it the next time they could chat alone. For now, she just wanted to enjoy the company of her friend, and her proximity to Liara. The asari was seated next to her, and the commander got the distinct impression that the young scientist was trying to move closer. It seemed that every time Jane turned to look back at Danger, Liara fidgeted a little, and it brought her closer to the human's side.

_Don't be afraid, Liara. You can move as close to me as you want..._

"Let's get some food, Danger." Jane waved over the waitress, and ordered another round for everyone. Danger threw her credstick on the woman's tray and nodded.

"Good idea. I skipped breakfast this morning. Trying to keep my girlish figure you know." The mercenary grinned at her friend, and Jane grinned back. The four of them spent the next several hours eating, drinking, and talking. Jane and Danger talked about old missions, and the matriarch and Liara chatted about asari history and Liara's Prothean research. Though Jane would have liked to have spent the rest of the night there, time was advancing, and the mission was pending. Their brief reprieve was coming to an end. The Normandy crewmembers needed to get back to their duties, and Danger had to get the matriarch back to Thessia.

Jane stood and offered Danger her hand. Danger took it, and cocked an eyebrow at the human soldier.

"Danger, it was good to see you."

"You too, Jane. We're going to see each other again, right? You aren't going to like, go out there and die, are you?"

Jane Shepard just looked at her friend, the one who she had been through so many dangers with, the one with whom she had shared so much of herself, and smiled. "Danger, I don't really know. But I'll tell you this: If I go before you, I'll have a drink waiting for you in hell."

"Ha, you better!" And with that, Danger did something completely out of character. She pulled her friend into a hug. Jane hesitated only a moment, and then returned the embrace. Liara smiled at the two, but noticed a shadow cross the matriarch's face. _Curious. I wonder what that is all about._

"All right, get off me Shepard, before I cry rape. I need to get the matriarch back to her quarters to pack and then we need to get out of here."

"Take care of yourself Danger. Keep in touch."

"I will!"

Danger held a door open for the matriarch and made sure she was strapped in tightly before hopping into the driver's seat of her leisure rover, a variation of her CamMech 3 that she kept in the Citadel garages. This one looked more like a classic muscle car, but was still segmented and had smaller tires. "Woo hoo, here we go!" Danger cried as she started the engine and AI. With a jerk of the gears, she punched the gas and the vehicle lurched forward on the road, turned to the left, and promptly drove straight off the bridge.

"Don't worry, it's a short cuttttt!"

The matriarch held onto the ceiling for her life, and for about the ten thousandth time wondered what possessed her to hire Danger as her personal bodyguard. Surely she was more likely to die in a car accident with the mercenary than anywhere else without. She would have to spend some time lecturing Rolus for convincing her to hire the human.

Jane and Liara rushed to the edge to see Danger's small car hopping the floor, righting itself, and then disappearing into the distance.

"I kind of feel sorry for her," Liara commented.

"The matriarch? She will be fine. Danger is an ass, but she won't lose a mark. She's got incredible tunnel vision in that respect. She isn't military, but she's worked with us so closely over the years she might as well be"

Liara was more somber. "I see that, but that is not exactly what I was talking about. I am more concerned about Danger. I am not sure if it is something in her aura, or just her general direction toward Matriarch Terriana, but she clearly has a vested interest in her job. It is more than a typical mercenary would display. Did you see how close she sat? I am sure it was subconscious, but it was certainly there. And a matriarch of Terriana's age and stature, who has never bonded, typically never will. She is also one of the most widely known and respected of my people. I fear that even if she were considering taking a mate, it would never be a human like Danger."

Shepard leaned back against a table. It suddenly occurred to her that maybe Danger was in over her head this time. "Maybe I should talk to her?"

"I think that would be wise. This cannot end well for either of them."

"Hmm. I always thought Danger could handle herself. You know, I don't think she's ever had a serious relationship?"

"No? She certainly seems old enough to have had a few."

"She is early forties by our count. Quite a bit older than we are, if that gives you any perspective – on the cusp of what you would call matron years I guess. She's just always been wrapped up in her machines and I guess never had time or interest in anything else."

Liara looked thoughtful as she watched the rover disappear into the horizon. "Why did the matriarch hire her?"

"Temporary insanity? The truth is, no one really knows." Shepard shook her head. "One minute she was cursing Ambassador Udina out about us, the next minute she was demanding Danger be personally assigned to her. I have no idea what happened. I don't even know why she was here today. When I planned this with Danger, she said she was coming alone while Terriana was in some meeting or another."

"Hmm." Liara turned back to Jane. "I do not know what to say. Maybe I am wrong about the matriarch. It is impossible to read her aura. She is too powerful and strong willed. It is almost like she has a barrier up."

"Well, she's certainly got the ice queen act down to a science. Listen, thanks for coming here with me. Danger is sometimes a little much to handle and it was nice to have you to lean on."

Liara blushed slightly, but looked pleased nonetheless. "I enjoyed being here with you, Jane. It is nice to get to be around you outside of missions."

"Come on, we need to get ready for our next task." She held out her hand for Liara and the two of them headed back to the Normandy.


	13. Chapter 12: When I think about you

**Chapter 12 – When I think about you**

**-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters**

Commander Jane Shepard looked around at the room. It was neat and orderly, like she was used to, but something about it seemed a little different. It was... empty.

_It's empty because you don't want the night to be over yet, Jane._

She nodded to herself and started to undress. She didn't want the night to be over, but it was, and she had just dropped Liara off at the small storage rooms behind the medical bay. Now she was here alone, left to sort through her scattered and confused emotions.

_I wonder what she's doing right now. Is she thinking of me as well?_

Jane threw her armor into the corner near her trunk, and stepped into the small washroom. She looked in the mirror and ran her hands through her hair a couple times. Then she picked up her toothbrush, and started her nightly cleanup ritual.

_Today was a great day. I'm glad Liara came out with us, even if Danger was an ass the entire time. Still, I guess I should be happy she was trying to talk me up like that. Liara seemed to enjoy it, anyway. I wish the matriarch hadn't brought up Benezia, though. The night probably would have been just fine without the reminder of what we did... Well, she meant no harm and maybe she doesn't even know that I killed her. It's possible, anyway. _

She leaned forward on the sink and lowered her head, staring at the water swirling down the drain. There was nothing she could do about it now, and she needed to put it behind her.

_Jane, you did what you had to. You protected Liara, and she doesn't hate you for it. You have to let this go. You have to... for everyone's sake._

She pushed off the sink, and nodded at her reflection in the mirror. She did what she had to do, and now she had to move on from it, and get her scattered mind back together. She had too many things to figure out, and she already had enough distractions. She had to figure out what the platinum dreams meant, what the Prothean visions meant, and what Saren was really after. There was no time to linger on Benezia's death, and she was already devoting far more of her mental resources to thoughts of Liara than she ought to.

Jane stepped back out of the room, and laid down on her bed. She curled around a pillow and closed her eyes, inviting the night mother to return once more and gift her with slumber.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Nightmares<strong>_

_Sound._

_It cut at her eardrums; she held the sides of her head with her hands. The reverberation of metal blades grinding together tore at her mind, and she felt madness setting in. She closed her eyes, and willed the noise to stop, but she was not yet strong enough. She had not completed enough tasks to claim that right yet. She was not ready. She had not yet arrived._

Where am I?

_She opened her eyes and looked to either side of her. She was surrounded completely by darkness. All was opaque, and she could not see the shimmering expanse of silver in front of her like the other times she had visited the platinum wonderland. It felt slightly cold, and she could not feel the air on her skin. She was trapped, and could not move forward, nor could she move back. _

_Jane reached out, and ran her hands along the walls of her prison. They were solid stone, cold, unfeeling, and unforgiving. They did not care about her, and they did not offer her guidance. They were merely there, positioned by an immortal hand to test the will of those placed within. _

_She was buried alive._

_Jane took a breath, and knelt down onto the cold floor. She ran her hands along the gravel, looking for something, anything, that would help her complete this task._

How must I proceed?

_Her left hand closed around what felt almost like the hilt of a sword. She picked it up, and carefully examined it with her right. _

What it this?

_Holding the item in front of her, she found it was a small hand shovel. It felt ancient, like it had been created by an alien craftsman long ago; a member of a civilization long since turned to dust. She held it firmly in both hands, and tried to bend it. It did not flex at all under her iron grip, and she nodded in satisfaction. It would do. It would have to. _

_Jane looked around her, though she could see nothing, and wondered in which direction to start digging. She had no way of knowing which way was the way out, and in the darkness, she could not hope to discern any identifying marks on the walls. She closed her eyes, and sat down on the ground._

Is there only one right way?

_The walls were silent, and the sounds of metal grinding together offered her no insight. She stood, turned around twice, and laid her right hand gently on the stone. She leaned forward, and started hammering at the wall in front of her. Slowly, she chipped at it, and small chunks of rock fell away at her feet soon covering her up to her ankles. She moved forward, and cut away at another layer. The sounds of metal slightly receded, and she stopped her hand in mid swing._

I should not go further from the noise…

_She turned around, and kicked the stone behind her, into the hole she had created. That was clearly the wrong way. She began cutting at the side that was now in front of her, nodding in satisfaction as the sounds of metal on metal grew slightly louder. Slowly, she sliced her way through the darkened rock, falling into a deliberate rhythm, ignoring the blisters that formed on her hand. Quietly she worked, gritting her teeth and trying to ignore the sounds of the metal blades crashing together. She kept her eyes closed, for there was no light by which she could see anyway, and brought her hand down again and again against her foe. _

I must arrive. I will arrive. You will see me.

_Her strength was waning. Hours had passed. Or had it been days? There was no way to tell. She looked behind her, hoping to gauge how far she had come, but the blackness did not offer her comfort. She leaned against the wall, and rubbed her brow with her sleeve. Her sweat felt sticky, almost as if it was blood and not the soft saline solution customary to her kind. Perhaps it _was_ blood. She couldn't tell in the darkness. _

I cannot stop.

_She tensed her muscles, trying to will the sound of the swords out of her head. It was pulsating at her eardrums, forcing its way into her body; the high pitched whine threatening to deafen her. She had to master it, for she felt she was getting close. She was nearly there. She merely had to hold on a short while longer. _

_Jane gripped the small shovel, and concentrated all her will on it. It felt right in her grip, though she could not understand why. Somehow, it was meant to be in her hand. Someone had procured it for her, intending that she use it. Someone had kept it safe and strong through long years, so that now, when she most needed it, it would be ready. She inhaled deeply, and accepted the offer, allowing the hand tool to meld itself into her skin._

_She continued chipping away at the wall with hardened resolve. The sound grew louder and more insistent. She ignored it. The barrier strengthened itself, reinforcing the stone and almost pushing back against her. She ignored that as well. The tool was meant for her hand, and she channeled the strength that had been fused into it by whoever had left it for her. She smiled, and flattened her right hand firmly against the wall, reveling in the vibrations that reverberated through the stone as she picked at it with her left. The barrier was weakening under her will. _

I will master you as well. You cannot contain me.

_Jane started to laugh maniacally, bringing the small hand tool down against the barrier faster and faster. She felt the stone's fear, as she pushed with her right hand and demanded that it give way. The blades clashed together more insistently, slicing at her mind and encouraging her to break through. Blood flowed down her left hand, where she had fused the artifact into her skin, and she drew her arm back for one last mighty thrust. _

_Jane threw her head back and howled as she brought the steel tool against the stone wall one more time, shattering the barrier and clearing the way through to the dancing blades circling her prison. She lost her balance and fell backwards as the darkness behind her forced her out of the tunnel, furious it had been exposed to the light and the sound of the platinum swords. _

_She laughed and looked up at the planet, as the noise shattered her eardrums and blood poured down her neck and arm, joining the mutilated skin of her hand. _

You cannot contain me.

_She fell into the darkness, laughing with the swords as they sang a joyful song, informing the voice of her triumph. _

_A wave of silver ice shattered the crystalline universe, and carried Jane away into the darkness…_

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay Storage room<strong>

_Thank the Goddess for blessed solitude. Please give me the strength to stay this course. My spirit hungers for her, but I am so afraid…_

Liara lay atop the cot that was set up for her in the small storage room and stared at the ceiling, thinking about the previous day's events. She had spent the morning going over her old research notes, and then a wonderful afternoon with Jane Shepard and her friends. She had been so worried that it would feel awkward, but Danger's disarming smile and the way Jane seemed to relax in her presence and quietly radiate power and control had put her restless mind at ease. Liara could see why the two of them had become friends. They seemed to round each other out perfectly. Danger was a bit on the edge, but Jane was stable and kept her from falling over it.

_When did I start thinking of her as Jane?_

She didn't know.

She thought about Matriarch Terriana as well, and the more she thought about it, the more it seemed that her initial impression was incorrect. Danger did sit very obviously close to the woman, but Terriana hadn't moved away or even seemed bothered by the invasion of her space. In fact, now that she really examined the situation, she realized that Terriana had looked decidedly amused at a group of asari maidens trying, and failing, to get Danger's attention.

_Strange. How can such a powerful and obviously matured woman possibly be interested in someone like Danger? Yes she's charming and attractive, but I would think it would be more appealing to maidens, not an asari of Terriana's age. _

She closed her eyes and replayed the entire night in her head again. It felt good to think about it. If she had been on the outside looking in, she would have sworn it was just two couples having drinks, instead of the mish mash of 'maybe' and 'possibly' and 'potentially' it seemed to be. For a few hours, it was almost like a family.

_I wonder if we will get to see them again. _

She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, a little shocked at herself. That was interesting. She _was_ thinking of the four of them as friendly couples.

_I wonder what Jane would think about that._

She closed her eyes once more. It had been a long day, and she was grateful to be back on the ship. It had become comforting, somehow. She was getting used to the whirring of the engines, and the way it softly swayed when in orbit.

_I love being here. I love being near her, even though this isn't really near her. _

She tried to chase the thoughts away, but they kept returning. She could see Jane's dark, almost shoulder length hair and wondered what it would feel like to run her fingers through it. She could feel the heat radiating from her pale skin, and imagined what it would be like to brush her hand across the woman's chiseled cheek.

_Goddess, I've never had thoughts like this before. Surely this is what they call love. It can't be anything else. Surely this human is meant for me. _

Liara felt her skin start to tingle. It was unlike any experience she'd had before. Brushing her hand across her arm, she tried to follow the trail of fire but lost it somewhere during the chase.

_Oh, what is that? I don't understand._

Her thoughts turned to Jane's tall and slender form. She wasn't taller than Liara by much, but she was tall enough that Liara would have to tilt her own head upward to look into her eyes. She wondered what it would be like to take those strong hands in hers and kiss away all the bloodstained pain. She knew what Jane went through every time she squeezed a trigger and took a life. She was painfully aware of the anguish mixed with sense of duty and conflict Jane felt. She was mindful of what Jane called the 'platinum rage'; that otherworldly force that took over and sometimes augmented her movements. It was strange and made no sense, but it was there, and Liara felt it. Every indecision, every hesitation, was present in the asari's mind. It was some sort of residual connection that remained after their first melding, and Liara wasn't quite sure how to sever it.

_I am not sure I want to sever it. Oh, how I long to comfort you, though I am not entirely sure how…_

She allowed her head to fall to the side, and her thoughts turned to the commander's smile. It was perfect, her teeth immaculate pearl, and her lips splendidly proportioned. Liara had always thought her own smile was a little lopsided, but Jane's looked as though it was carved from stone. Surely the muse was nothing less than the Goddess herself.

_Jane, I wonder what you would do if I became so bold, if I were to take your head in my hands and pull you close to me, close enough to feel my yearning, to feel my breath on your cheek. _

The tingling was there again, and Liara embraced it this time; indeed, she chased it. She felt a strange awakening in her body, and her hands started to move of their own volition.

_Jane, I would whisper my desire to you, ever so softly, so that you would have to move closer to hear. I would take your hands and encourage them to wander my body. I would submit to your power._

Liara's skin was on fire, but it wasn't the same sensation as when she'd power up her biotics. This was more intimate, more personal, and far more dangerous. Her clothing was suddenly too tight, too constricting, and she struggled to find a way to loosen it.

_I can feel your touch. I can feel your hands on me, pulsing along my skin, leaving fires in their wake. I need to feel you against me. I can feel you falling into me, both of us falling, and your weight bearing down on my body. _

Liara's head slowly moved from side to side, struggling to keep control of her sanity. Her thoughts were too intense and they threatened to dominate her control. She allowed her hand to brush lightly across her stomach, and settle just above her thigh, almost afraid to embark further.

_My love, I would pull you onto me and wrap my legs around you. I can feel your skin melting into mine; I cannot tell where you end and I begin. I feel you embrace me and settle your weight, fitting into my body. Your push sends my heart racing, and I grip you tighter, willing you to never stop._

Her breath was quickening, and she desperately wished she was beside Jane. The human would most certainly feel the heat radiating from the asari's skin and ease her lover's pain.

_I can feel your hands on me again, Jane. The same hands that are so ruthless to your enemies are so gentle with me. I feel you shift your weight, to better leverage yourself against me, and your hand lights me on fire as it teases and threatens to steal my innocence._

Liara could hold herself back no longer. She had made a mess of her clothing attempting to free herself from it, and the deepest parts of her heart and soul had been awakened by her imaginings of lovemaking with Jane. She allowed her hand to slip beneath her bed clothes and explore a part of her body that had been a purely functional fragment of her anatomy until now. She started slowly, unsure of what secrets would be revealed after an entire life of dormancy, but as the minutes passed and her mind raced with thoughts of her lover, she began to explore with more urgency.

_I feel you everywhere, and need you more than ever. I beg you with my eyes to make me yours forever, but you continue to lightly graze over my tortured skin. I think you are enjoying this. I see your grin, your lazy meanderings as I whimper beneath you, lifting my hips to allow you better access. How long can you ignore me, ignore your own need?_

Liara had no idea where these thoughts had come from. It felt so real that it was almost as if Jane was in the room with her. The intensity was so strong, and her exploration was becoming increasingly urgent, the cadence out of sync, needing the rhythm of her lover's touch to silence the churning waves overcoming her.

_I can tell you are weakening. You lean forward now and support the back of my neck with your right arm, shifting your weight slightly to gain better access as your hand dips lower, and all reason is driven from my mind as you push into me and cover my mouth with yours, silencing my low moans. My arms involuntarily grip you and pull you as close as possible, as I push back against you, willing you deeper. _

Liara was losing control. Something had awakened deep inside her and refused to be silenced. She felt electricity and fire and ice throughout her body, all sweet pains that begged for release; that begged her for her lover's caress. Every one of her senses screamed out for attention, seeking Jane somewhere in the darkness. The attention she was paying her body was bringing her to the edge, but it wasn't enough.

_I need you more than anything in the universe, my love, and I need you now. I pull back from the exquisite pain the force of your bruising lips on mine is causing, and ask the question with my eyes. You nod once, and my eyes turn to obsidian._

"Embrace Eternity," Liara whispered, finally consumed by her passion. After a few minutes she lay there, wondering what she had just done, and how it had been possible alone.

_I could swear that just for a second Jane, we were one. Just for a second, you were here. _

Liara adjusted her clothing again, turned on her side, and closed her eyes.

_I think I love you Jane, and I want to be with you. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I'll find the right time. I promise. _

And with that decided, Liara fell into a deep sleep, eager for the morning.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard sat up in bed, wondering why she was covered in sweat. She'd had one of the nightmares, of that she was sure, but there was also… something… else.

She had awakened suddenly, feeling almost as if someone was knocking on….. Her mind?

_What the hell is happening to me? Have I picked something up?_

She looked down at her drenched clothing, and got out of bed to change. Her entire body felt weak, but as she examined the feeling, she decided it wasn't an illness.

_It feels like someone was in here. It feels like… What is going on? _

She sat back down on the bed and thought hard, trying to remember any snippet of the dream after the platinum swords, anything that would explain what she was feeling.

_Nothing. Well, I better go back to sleep. We need to get back to missions tomorrow, and I need to be firing on all cylinders as Danger would say. _

She lay down in the bed and felt a brief pang of regret.

_Today was so perfect. The only thing that would have been the icing on the cake would be her next to me tonight. _

She sighed, and turned on her side. There was nothing to be done for it. She would give Liara the time and space she needed to sort out her emotions, and hopefully, someday the conclusion would lead straight into her arms. Until then, she would wait.

She closed her eyes and fell back asleep.


	14. Chapter 13: Calm before the storm

**Chapter 13: The Calm before the Storm**

**-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's Compound, Security Offices**

_Yesterday was a good day. _

Danger awoke early, only just before dawn. She rose out of the small cot that she had set up in the security offices, and pulled on a pair of tan trousers. She favored loose fitting cargo style pants, the kind that humans wore on earth before they started to become assimilated into the galactic community. They allowed free movement of her left leg and were just generally comfortable. She slipped into a pair of boots and put on a black shirt that had the marking of the asari nation on the shoulder. She looked in the mirror at her outfit and silently laughed.

_You look ridiculous._

Danger had never really liked her appearance. She felt awkward. She was too tall and far too blonde. She felt goofy and out of place, though everyone told her she was very attractive. She certainly didn't feel attractive, especially when standing next to Jane. Jane was the attractive one. She wasn't as tall as Danger, but her black hair and eyes, set in pale, chiseled facial features really gave her a bearing of presence that Danger could never hope to have. Jane was perfectly proportioned, while Danger just felt tall, thin, and maybe a little... gangly.

_Maybe Jane's right about all that Alliance stuff. She was just a goofy kid ten years ago, and now look at her. Maybe I should have joined up when she did. Then I would be buff and hot strutting around in a military uniform too. Maybe. Meh. It's too late now, and I need some exercise._

She turned away from the mirror and gripped a quarterstaff that was leaning against the wall, a gift from a woodworker she had done a job for on Earth years ago. She ran her hands lovingly over the carefully hand-carved wood, thinking about the hours that had gone into designing each image. The carvings depicted many of the animals natively found on Earth.

She remembered the job like it was yesterday. The man had saved his entire career to purchase a wedding ring for the woman he loved, and it had been stolen when a gang of thieves raided his small shop and took everything he owned. He had heard that Danger was in town, and begged her to get the ring back for him.

_He didn't care about his things; he didn't care about the money, all he wanted was that ring. _

Danger had been moved by his story and his sadness. She had never been in love herself, but saw the pain the man was in. Somehow, that ring symbolized everything about his love for his mate, and he felt there was no way he could ask for her hand without it. He had spent his entire life loving only one woman, and just when forever was in his grasp, he felt it slip away.

It wasn't hard to track the thieves. Admittedly, it was one of Danger's easier jobs. The group was inexperienced, and Danger didn't even need to plan a covert op on them. These were novices – breaking into a woodworker's shop of all places. All it took was a suggestive wink here and there in a bar or two, and she stood before their safe house. A few gas grenades later, and all of the thieves were on the floor. Danger took her time as she quietly picked through their spoils in search of the man's ring.

She would never forget the look on his face when she returned it to him, along with his money and his other belongings. He barely glanced at the other items in the satchel, instead immediately retrieving the ring and pulling Danger into an uncomfortable and awkward embrace.

It was the first and only job Danger had ever done pro bono.

_Well, almost the only one… _

She refused to accept payment from the man, and hopped a transport back to the Citadel to take a break from extractions. A month later, the quarterstaff arrived, along with a note from the woodworker.

* * *

><p><em>Danger, my dearest friend,<em>

_Please accept this staff as a token of my thanks. It has taken me a month to complete, and is my greatest achievement. I want you to know how grateful I am to you for returning my life to me. That very night I presented the ring to Barbara and she accepted my proposal. It would never have been possible without you. _

_Please remain safe, and if you should ever find yourself in need of fine carvings, please stop by._

_Woodworker Alan_

* * *

><p>Danger smiled, and threw the staff over her right shoulder.<p>

_Time to get some exercise!_

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, Training Gardens<strong>

Danger was beginning to enjoy her routine here on Thessia. She had always been an early riser, but she found that if she awakened an hour earlier than usual, she could slip into the garden and pick up with the morning shift of warrior training. The asari didn't seem to mind her presence, and always moved apart to make room for the mercenary. She would spend an hour training with them, mirroring their exercises, and have enough time to clean up before Terriana arose to have her morning meal.

Danger knew they whispered about her being the matriarch's 'pet', but she didn't deny it. It actually sort of amused her. Some of the older women had offered Terriana regiments of Commandos for protection, but strangely enough, the asari had refused them, stating she already had a security team.

Danger chuckled at that thought. She was a one woman security team. Well her team consisted of two if you counted Rolus, but he was more of a pencil-pusher, keeping track of Terriana's schedule and making appointments. Still, she was the security team and though the asari Commandos were surely better trained than she was, Terriana didn't trade in her human.

_Either she really does like having me around, or the Commandos wouldn't put up with her attitude. Hmm, probably the latter. I couldn't imagine her yelling at a Commando the way she yells at me. _

Danger allowed herself a smile. She didn't mind the asari matriarch taking out her frustration on her. The woman was under an incredible amount of pressure, and really had no one to talk to. Rolus was her advisor and close friend, but Danger got the feeling that he already knew the signs of an impending Terriana storm and since Danger had arrived, he always made himself scarce. He wasn't going to let the matriarch vent, so the mercenary did, just sitting quietly until Terriana exhausted herself and dismissed her from the room.

_Interesting how I know the signs too, but sit there and weather the storm._

She thought about that for a while, as she became lost in the hypnotic movements of the asari training regimen. They moved like the wind, precise and clear.

_Nothing is precise and clear at the moment. _

She thought back over the previous day, spent with her friend Jane Shepard and Jane's new love interest Liara.

_She's a cutie for sure, perfect for Jane. _

Danger was happy for her friend. It seemed she had finally met someone who suited her. Liara was a little naive, but was brilliant and compassionate. She would make a perfect mate for the soldier, who needed someone to pull her back into reality on occasion. Jane sometimes took 'duty' too far, and Danger got the feeling that Liara would help her make decisions based on what was right, not on what the Alliance or the Council would have her do.

_Liara is cute for sure, but I like them a little older, a little more matured, and less agreeable. _

She laughed to herself. Less agreeable indeed! This whole thing was getting more insane by the minute. While she was sitting outside the Salarian Embassy, she really thought that her datapad had just malfunctioned. Danger felt stupid asking the matriarch if she knew where her next meeting was, but she had no other choice with the schedule program acting up. Terriana didn't even look at her, and informed her that the Flux was their next destination. Danger had frozen in her seat, and then shifted the rover into gear and took them to the bar.

She had no idea how the matriarch knew about the drinks date or why she insisted on being there, but once they got to the table and joined Jane and Liara, the whole tense situation from the vehicle seemed to just dissipate. Danger had slid into the booth a little closer to the woman than she intended to, but Terriana hadn't moved, and instead seemed to relax. It was almost perfect, and Danger had to consciously keep her hand on her drink. The whole situation seemed so comfortable and so natural that she imagined she could put her arm around the asari as if they belonged together.

_That probably would have earned you at least two slaps, a drink to the face, and a lecture the entire ride home, __**if**__ you even managed to keep your job._

No, she kept her hands to herself and just chatted with Jane about old missions while the two asari talked about whatever it was asari talk about amongst themselves. Much safer plan.

_I better get back to reality._

She pulled herself out of the memory and looked around her at the warriors. She wondered how many of them would go on to become Commandos or Justicars. Every one of them was unique. Each had a different facial marking pattern, each of them had a different body shape and way of moving. They were all synchronized, but each was an individual and each of them had a story to tell. She wasn't particularly interested in all their stories, but she had to appreciate the diversity and beauty the people as a whole displayed. They seemed to much more attuned to the universe than humans.

Danger lost herself in the rhythm and closed her eyes, as the hour passed and the dawn started to peek over the horizon.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's bedchamber<strong>

She couldn't sleep. Matriarch Terriana rolled to her side, her back bothering her particularly badly, and opened her eyes. She had been tossing and turning all night, unsure of what to make of the previous day. After overhearing Danger's conversation with her friend a few weeks prior, the matriarch watched her very closely for signs pointing to when the meeting was to take place. As soon as she knew the day and general time frame, she ordered Rolus to clear her entire schedule. She wasn't even entirely sure why she was doing it. Surely her bodyguard deserved a little time off. After all, the human was actually doing a fairly good job.

There had been minor skirmishes during their travels, but the human's reputation preceded her and most of the would-be thugs departed as soon as they learned of the mercenary's presence. The rest, were rather skillfully dispatched by various traps and other clever devices the mercenary had put out. Terriana got the distinct impression that Danger was far better at snaring enemies from a distance than direct confrontation. That was fine with her. She didn't necessarily want a hero-type rushing headlong into enemy fire. That sort of behavior just got everyone killed. As it was, Danger was doing a very good job and Terriana was pleased, with that at least.

What she wasn't pleased with, was how close she was getting to the mercenary. She should have just kept her meetings for the afternoon, but for some reason she didn't like the thought of Danger being off on her own. Besides, yesterday with the human's friends had been such a wonderful time.

_For the most part…_

She remembered sitting next to Danger, almost as if they were a couple, and being painfully aware of the human's presence. She couldn't describe the feeling exactly; it was like some sort of spirit link between the two of them, and something inside her was begging her to close the distance. She told herself to move away, to break the link, but her flesh was unwilling to obey the command. So instead, she just focused on keeping Liara talking so that she wouldn't have to answer any uncomfortable questions and prayed to the Goddess nothing showed on her face.

_I wonder if Danger noticed how close we were._

Danger had been leaning back on the bench lazily, almost in the same way that she did when they were going over logs in the garden. Something was different about this, though. The human kept her right arm on the table, lightly gripping her drink, almost as if trying to keep a barrier between them. Terriana had wondered briefly what it would have felt like to have that arm around her, but almost immediately dismissed the thought. Surely the human was furious at her for intruding on the event at all. Danger didn't show any outward signs of anger, but Terriana knew that humans had a way of keeping their mouths shut when their paychecks were on the line.

At the end of the night, Danger had embraced Shepard, and the matriarch silently fumed. She demanded they return to Thessia that night, and rescheduled the rest of her meetings for the following month.

_Well, I may as well get up. Maybe I will go wake Danger and go over some logs before the day starts. _

She rose out of bed and picked out a light green robe. As she was adjusting it to cover her back and neck, something outside the window caught her eye. She moved over see better, and was entranced by the sight. Danger was there, training with the young maidens, and if her appearance hadn't been so drastically different, Terriana would have sworn it was just another warrior. The human moved like water, perfectly in sync with the asari surrounding her. She stepped lightly over and around her quarterstaff as if she were dancing with it, and the matriarch stood there watching for what seemed like hours.

After a time, the instructor raised her hands signaling the end of the set, and some of the asari, including the instructor, crowded around Danger, seeking her attention. Terriana felt a jealous rage bubble up from the depths of her soul, and she scraped her nails lightly down the side of the windowpane.

_We'll see about this. _

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Training Gardens<strong>

The matriarch stormed out of the room and through the compound to the garden, walking straight up to Danger. The other asari backed away, recognizing a jealous sister and not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of whatever was about to happen.

"Would you mind explaining what you are doing here, _bodyguard?"_

_Oh she's pissed. We're back to 'bodyguard' again. This isn't going to end well._

"Well, um. I. Yea. I come out here. Um. To exercise sometimes. A little." Danger started scratching the back of her head nervously, praying that the storm would pass.

"So while I slumber, instead of manning your post, you are out here fraternizing?"

"Um. I'm not. Well that is to say, I'm just training a little. I do it every morning."

"You do this _every morning_? How dare you abandon your post to mingle with this.. These.." Words failed her.

Danger just stared. She had no idea what she had done wrong. The matriarch was almost acting like a jealous lover. Even if she actually was, Danger still had done nothing wrong. She'd had offers, of course, but she was telling the truth when she told Jane she hadn't sampled a thing. She had no interest in sampling anything but…

Terriana turned away from Danger and walked back towards the main building. Danger took a step forward and reached out to try to stop her, but the asari was moving too fast and Danger had been caught off guard. She didn't know what she would have done if she had caught her anyway. She let her hand fall back to her side and leaned on her quarterstaff.

_Damn it. Why can't I communicate with this woman?_

The matriarch didn't speak to Danger until the following month, and only then it was to inform her of a change in schedule.

Danger never trained in the garden again.


	15. Chapter 14: We can't go on like this

**Chapter 14: We can't go on like this**

**-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters**

Commander Jane Shepard looked at her datapad. They had to go to Virmire, but they also had about a hundred other tasks to do as well. It seemed as though every time she went to the control console, another message was there, from someone looking for her to drop everything and help. She was trying to manage all the tasks set before her, but the weeks were dragging into months and she was just getting more and more weary. She wondered if other Spectres were getting torn in a million directions like she was. The only reason she had even taken this position was to hunt Saren, and it seemed like every time she was ready to get back to it, another helping of 'do your fucking duty, soldier' was put on her plate.

Shepard thought about her crew. They were a motley bunch, that was for sure, but they were loyal and that's all she really needed. The rest of the stuff could be taught, and as she reviewed the pending tasks, she decided that it would _have_ to be taught, and sooner rather than later. She had been mixing and matching crewmembers to try to get everyone experience in the field, but many of them just weren't getting the hang of fighting in a unit. Tali kept coming out from cover at the worst times, Wrex was too reckless, Garrus was a stable soldier but was having a hard time making his own leadership calls, and every time Liara was around, Jane herself was distracted. It was a mess.

They had to pull it together before heading to Virmire, because this situation was going to get worse before it got better. The commander didn't want anyone dying because she didn't take the time to teach the crew at least a little about fighting in tactical units. She also didn't want anyone dying because she couldn't control her own emotions. The days were getting longer and the nights were getting lonelier, and it was all she could do to keep walking upright and facing forward.

She looked over at the console. At least she still had Danger. She had called the mercenary the previous night to chat and the two of them stayed up talking until almost the morning. She told her friend about everything; all her concerns and fears over the pending missions, her growing relationship with the young asari scientist, her frustration at being torn between her own goals and the Alliance's orders, all of it. Danger just sat back with her disarming smile and her quiet countenance and listened to her friend. It was a good talk, and Jane had needed to tell someone about the things going on in her life, to somehow gain some perspective.

It was hard to believe that just a few months ago she was just another commander in the Alliance Navy. Now she was the leader of a crew that represented nearly all the allied races of the universe, and they all looked to her to keep them safe and bring them back alive. She was a Spectre, an elite protector of the galaxy that had almost limitless power and resources. She had the finest ship in the entire Alliance fleet at her disposal.

She had everything she could have ever dreamed of.

Except, now all she wanted to do was spend time with Liara. She would give it up in a second if the mission wasn't threatening all life and just generally making a nuisance of itself. She turned off the datapad and leaned back in her chair.

_All I want to do is spend time with Liara._

They could find some remote planet filled with Prothean Ruins, and live out the rest of their lives there. Liara would spend her days digging happily, and Jane would join up with Danger in the extractions and covert ops business. She'd go merc long enough to put together a retirement fund, which probably wouldn't take long given the reputation Danger had already established, and then open a space port or something to keep herself busy and out of Liara's way. She would leave the Alliance military life far behind. They would spend their days working in their respective areas, and their nights…

_No, I can't start thinking about the nights…_

But she did think about the nights, and every time she did, her mind wandered back to one night in particular when she had awakened, soaked in sweat with the distinct feeling that somehow she had been visited.

_It couldn't have been her. It was just a dream, or a twenty four hour bug, or something. It was just some sort of after effect from the platinum nightmares._

Jane closed her eyes and let her mind lead her away from her duties, at least for a little while. She knew that the asari was inexperienced, but there was no mistaking the look in her eyes that clearly said she was interested in more than friendship. It sent fire through the human every time she looked over and those crystal blue eyes were upon her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she had to look away. The whole situation was getting more and more intense, and while she didn't want to push the young scientist, she did wish the asari would make a decision already.

_How long can you ignore me, ignore your own need?_

Jane shot forward in her chair. That thought had come unbidden, but it felt like she had heard the words before, just before…

_What is happening to me? I had better get out of this room, it's stifling. _

As much as she might have wanted to let her mind continue to wander, the strange thought had unnerved her. It felt almost like it was planted, but she knew that wasn't possible. She was just under too much stress, and she needed to do something to get her mind off all of this craziness. Saren was after something big, and he wasn't going to stop just because Jane Shepard wanted to have a personal life. She had to get control of herself, and get back to focusing on finding him. Once she took care of Saren, she would have all the time in the world to make an "in-depth" study of Liara T'Soni.

Jane Shepard got up from her chair, adjusted her ship casualwear, and left the room in search of Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Garages<strong>

"Chief Williams, do you have a minute?"

"What do you need, Commander?" asked Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, looking up from the rifle she was cleaning.

Jane crossed her arms and looked out across the room at Garrus fiddling with the Mako. She turned her gaze to Wrex, who was passively observing everyone. She looked at the far door, and thought she could almost see Tali fussing over calculations or her latest hacking algorithms. She looked up, and thought about Liara, pouring over research notes and Kaiden managing the sleeper pods. She sighed and then looked back at her soldier friend.

"This crew; most of them are not military."

"Yea well, it's what we got. It's not like the Council is going to give us any backup on this one."

"I know, but I'm worried about them. On Therum Tali got knocked out twice, and we just got lucky on Noveria and Feros. I'm trying to rotate everyone out to get more experience in the field on the minor jobs we have to do, but it's not going to get any easier, and I need to be able to count on everyone in a firefight."

"So what do you suggest?"

"We can drill them, like back in basic when Ellison would pop a vein at us. Teach them small unit tactics, things like that."

"Well, maybe not _exactly_ like that…" Williams replied, shuddering.

"Ha, no, but we do need to do _something_. We are going to have to head out to Virmire soon and I need these folks at their best. I don't want any of them to get killed just because they lack experience, when you and I are perfectly capable of teaching them."

"Well, we can start a training regimen, and break them into groups. I'll take the first group and you can take the second. I'll drill T'Soni and the krogan, and you can take the turian and Tali. Kaiden is already one of us, so he can just drift between groups and help us. We can even stage some war games."

The commander opened her mouth to speak, but Williams held up a hand to stop her next words. "Shepard, I'm not going to judge you, but you are kidding yourself if you think no one has noticed what is going on here. I won't disobey a direct order from you, but this is one instance where you don't want to give that order. T'Soni stays in my group."

Jane closed her mouth and nodded. The chief was right, of course. Liara should be in her training group. Jane was going to have to get used to the fact that their relationship jeopardized everything and she needed to start acting like a soldier again.

"You're right, Ash. That sounds like a good plan. And, is it really that obvious?"

"Shep, you run into walls when the woman is in the room. I have to admit, I kind of suspected you weren't into guys, but this is beyond anything I would have imagined."

_If the chief knows, everyone else probably does too._

"Does anyone else know?"

"If by anyone else you mean the entire crew, yea. The second Joker figured it out, it went straight over the com. You were on the Citadel." The chief went back to the rifle she was polishing, and she and the commander just quietly stood together for several moments.

_I'll bet it was the day we met Danger and Terriana for drinks. _

"Ash, have you ever been in love?"

Williams stopped polishing the rifle for a moment, and then looked at her superior officer. She smiled sadly and said, "It was a long time ago, Commander. I'd rather not talk about it. But if the real question you are asking is whether or not I understand, the answer is yes."

Jane looked at the chief for a moment, and decided against prying. She considered the woman a friend, but if the soldier wanted to keep this to herself, then it was her prerogative.

"All right Ash, I won't pry. And, thanks for understanding. I know I have been distracted and not quite myself lately. Maybe doing some drills with the crew will help me to snap out of it."

"I hope it does, Commander. All of us are counting on you. We all want you to be happy, but if it keeps interfering with what we need to do, then all of us are at risk. You were our commander before she came aboard, and we need you to stay our commander no matter what."

Jane nodded once, and then saluted the chief.

"Ash, you're an excellent soldier and a good friend. Let's set up the teams for training starting tomorrow. We'll take a couple weeks to get everyone on the same page."

"Yes ma'am," the chief replied, saluting back.

The commander turned to leave, and the gunnery chief just stood there, feeling a little helpless. Jane Shepard was her commanding officer, but she also considered the woman a friend and knew what it was like to have love interfere with duty.

She had been in love once, a very long time ago when she had just joined up with the Alliance. She had fallen for one of her commanding officers, but he was married and she could never bring herself to tell him of her feelings. Long nights, pining away and wishing that the circumstances had been different did little to ease the pain that throbbed within her bruised heart.

The chief sat down and picked up a pistol. She turned it over several times in her hand, and then began cleaning it the way he had taught her. Her eyes glazed over as her mind drifted back through the years…

_First you eject the round in the barrel, Ashley. Then you take out the clip. Make sure that you hold it here, and pay special attention to the action right there. A properly maintained weapon is the difference between life and death, Ashley. No matter what else you do when you are on a mission, always keep your equipment maintained…_

Slowly she ran her hands over the weapon, and closing her eyes, could feel him standing behind her, guiding her fingers to the hidden crevices of the small machine of destruction. He was gorgeous, tall and dark haired. He reminded her a little of the commander. They could have been brother and sister. His features were also chiseled, and his musculature more developed and mature than most of the other men his age. He must have spent every spare moment honing his body.

She remembered how his uniform always seemed to be perfectly in place. It buttoned straight down his chest and was always perfectly pressed.

_No doubt his wife did all of that for him. _

She jerked herself out of her musings. It had been years, and she had left that unit behind and was now moving through the ranks and towards other goals. He wouldn't have wanted a soldier wife anyway. He wanted a trophy wife, and the woman he chose was certainly that. She was slim and elegant, with her lusciously thick red hair and impeccably white smile. She was a perfect companion for a Captain that wished to become an Admiral someday.

_Hmph. No one wants the soldier. Maybe that's why Shep stays away from men. _

Williams sighed, and locked that memory back away in her heart. Captain James Mock III was living his life far away from her, and she was here on the Normandy. She had never told the man how she felt, thought she suspected he somehow knew. Even if he felt the same, she was sure he would have never acted on it. His eyes were on one goal, and everything that he did was to further that goal, including marrying Windi Hayes, the daughter of a wealthy ship merchant.

There was no room in his life for a soldier like Ashley Williams, and for the last eight years she had mourned the loss of a relationship that had never even begun.

_I should let it go. I should. _

But in the end, she just went back to her busy work, and let her mind drift to all the 'what ifs' she would never know the answers to.

_I hope the Commander has better luck than I did. _


	16. Chapter 15: Games of love and war part I

**Chapter 15: Games of love and war, Part I**

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Comm room<strong>

"Does everyone understand what a war game is?"

Commander Jane Shepard looked around at the crew in the comm room. Some of them were nodding, but Liara and Tali had confused looks on their faces.

"A war game is a military exercise that doesn't involve actual combat. It's meant to train soldiers in warfare and test out new strategies. We will be playing some war games to train everyone here on how to better handle themselves in the field. We will split up into two units, a red team and a blue team. Red team will defend, and blue team will infiltrate. Tomorrow, we will switch."

Everyone in the room nodded their understanding, and the commander continued.

"Red team's goal is to neutralize blue team before they infiltrate the base, and blue team's goal is to capture the base with minimal loss of soldiers. Everyone will be provided special rounds for this exercise that will indicate when a soldier has been hit without doing any actual harm. Chief, please pass out the rounds."

Gunnery Chief Williams passed out the clips and took the live ones from the team.

"Each team will have a team lead that will be responsible for coordinating either the attack or the defense. You are expected to follow your team lead's orders. Gunnery Chief Williams will be the team lead for red team and Garrus Vakarian will lead the blue team. Liara, Wrex, and Kaiden will go with Ashley, and Tali and I will go with Garrus."

"Excuse me, Commander. Why am I being made a team lead instead of you?"

"I need you to further develop your decision making skills, Garrus. You are a good soldier, but to be a great soldier you need to be a leader. To learn to be a leader, you need the opportunity to lead. You will lead blue team today."

Garrus nodded, and sat back in his chair.

"Are there any other questions?"

"Yea, do I get to be Commander after my team kicks your ass?"

"Stand down gunny," Shepard replied, smiling. "You'd better be prepared to back up that mouth of yours. I'm even giving you the advantage of more soldiers, so it would be particularly embarrassing for you to lose this one."

Gunnery Chief Williams smiled and nodded. "Don't worry, Commander. We can take you. I know you think you are worth any two soldiers here but I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"I guess we'll see. Any other questions?"

The rest of the crew shook their heads. Commander Shepard nodded.

"All right then, red team will touch down first and get themselves into position. Once they signal Joker that they are in place, blue team will be dropped in the Mako and the war games will begin. Gather at your team lead and head to the garage. Dismissed."

Everyone got up and started moving toward their team leader, chattering about strategies and what they were going to do. Commander Shepard was pleased with their enthusiasm. Perhaps there was hope after all.

"Commander?"

"What is it Garrus?"

"I'm a little nervous."

"Don't be. These drills are actually kind of fun. It will teach you a lot about working as a team and overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Just keep the team focused on the goal, and we will be fine. Let's head down to the garages and get ready to touch down."

"Where are we touching down, by the way?"

"We'll be playing at a little compound that a friend and I put out of business on Earth a while back. It's a perfect place to set up a war game. It used to be occupied by the Last Corsairs gang, but we took their major meal ticket and they were forced to scatter. I asked the Alliance to keep the compound for military exercises and they agreed it was a good choice. It's been left mostly intact, except for the minor explosion and water damage."

Garrus looked at the commander, and chuckled. "Explosion, huh? It sounds like you and your friend did a little more than put them out of business."

Shepard smiled and thought back fondly to the day Danger almost got her killed. It seemed like so long ago. "Yea, well. It was a pretty hectic day. Anyway, it's situated on a small flattened mountain, so they have a pretty big advantage. We'd be seen on approach from all sides."

"How did you get in the first time?"

"Garrus, trust me when I say you really wouldn't believe me if I told you. In fact, I'm still wondering if the whole thing was just a nightmare or something."

"So no tactical advice then?"

"No, it's really in a difficult position to storm. There's no room for a drop, at least not without them knowing well beforehand that someone is coming and taking appropriate steps. There's only one road leading up to the compound, so that's easily watched. I guess when we get there we'll just have to figure something out."

"All right Commander. We'll survey the situation when we arrive."

Joker cut in, "Commander, red team is signaling they are in position. They're ready for you."

"Thanks Joker, try not to get too lonely without us."

"Don't you worry about that, Commander. I have a backlog of some rather enticing vids to catch up on. I'm looking forward to _And Justicars for all _in particular."

"Joker, I really don't want to know... We'll see you later."

"Later, Commander."

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: LC1 (Red Team)<strong>

Gunnery Chief Williams walked a line in front of her team.

"All right people, fall in. We have some time to go over strategy but I don't want to keep the commander waiting any longer than is necessary. We are in an excellent tactical position here. There is only one road leading up to the compound, and we will only need one soldier to watch it. The rest of us can fortify the base and keep our eyes out for an air approach."

"T'Soni, I want you to climb up on the tower and watch the road. Try to stay out of sight. It's always a good idea to assume the enemy has a skilled sniper, and Shepard happens to be an excellent sharpshooter. Alenko and Wrex, you are both with me. We'll patrol the perimeter and make sure they don't take us by surprise."

Liara nodded once, and then headed for the tower. The others followed Ashley as she inspected the sides of the compound, looking for any weakness.

"It doesn't look like they will have any option but to come up the road. We'll set up patrol there, and there," Ashley said, indicating a break in the walls to the south and an intact catwalk to the east. "They won't come from the north; it's a straight drop down the mountain and unless they plan to take the next few days climbing up it, we shouldn't have to worry about it. We just need to keep our eyes on the road, and make sure Shepard doesn't try anything cute."

"All right Chief. I'll take the catwalk and Wrex can patrol the wall over there," replied Lt. Alenko.

"Good. We have a lot of advantages over their team. We have all the biotics, and we have the advantage of terrain. This should be an easy game to win."

Wrex just nodded, and headed to his post. Alenko did the same, and Ashley went to check on Liara.

She climbed up the tower and crouched down beside the asari. "Are you ok?"

Liara was taken aback at the display of concern. She was certain that the human hated her. "I. I'm fine, Chief Williams."

"These games are meant to teach teamwork, and I just want you to know that I put my personal feelings aside about aliens and humans when we're all in the field."

"I know that, Chief Williams. And I know that Jane respects you and thinks of you as a valuable member of the team. She pushed for your reassignment."

Chief Williams just nodded. It didn't surprise her that the asari thought of the commander as Jane, nor did it surprise her that the woman had insight into the commander's actions.

"Commander Shepard is one of the best officers I have had the privilege to serve under, T'Soni. She's also a good friend. I'd hate to see my friend get hurt…"

Liara understood. It was a warning. The chief clearly cared about the commander, was aware of the relationship, and was warning Liara to tread lightly.

"Chief Williams, I understand. It is not my intention to hurt Commander Shepard. I cannot say for sure what is going to happen, but she is very special to me."

"Good. Keep your eyes on the road. I'm going to signal the Normandy to drop blue team. Good luck, soldier." Chief Williams stood and saluted Liara, and then climbed down out of the tower.

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: Outside LC1 (Blue Team)<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard looked out across the same valley she had looked over so many months ago with her friend Danger. The task seemed even more insurmountable this time, most notably because there wasn't anyone on her team as insane as the mercenary. No one here would be trying daring biotic leaps. In fact, no one on her team could even use biotics, so they were going to have to do this the old fashioned way.

"All right team lead, what's the plan?" she asked Garrus.

"Well, I actually had wanted to ask you about this."

"Ask about what?"

"I've been getting these… Packages."

"Packages?"

"Well not me personally. Every time we dock at the Citadel, they bring aboard packages addressed to the chief mechanic. Well, we don't really have one, so I have been opening them. You wouldn't believe the technology. It's all parts for the Mako, some of the most wonderful things I have ever seen."

Commander Shepard smiled. There was only one person in the universe that would be sending her car parts.

"They come addressed from someone named Danger Vance. Who is he?"

"She, actually. Her name is Darla Vance. Danger is just a nickname. She's a human merc friend of mine that I've done missions with over the years. She's into cars."

"Well tell her thanks for all the parts. I've increased the efficiency of the Mako tenfold with some of the things she has sent." He thought for a second, and then asked, "Is she seeing anyone?"

Shepard considered for a minute, and then replied, "You know, Danger is hard to read. She doesn't seem to be officially taken, but she's definitely off the market." Shepard thought about Matriarch Terriana and the whole complicated situation. She wasn't sure how things were progressing with the two, if at all, but she knew that at least from Danger's standpoint, there was clearly no room for anyone else.

"That's too bad. A woman like that, even if she is a human, is too good to pass up."

"All right, so what do these packages have to do with our strategy?"

"This." Garrus started punching things into his Omni-tool, and the car roared to life. Garrus opened the door to reveal a miniature holographic depiction of Danger.

"DIDI, say hello to the Commander. Commander, say hello to DIDI."

"Accessing: Voice Verification Complete. Good morning Chief Mechanic Garrus. How may I assist?"

Shepard slapped her forehead in exasperation. "I can't believe you put that thing in there. That AI is almost as insane as Danger." She looked a little more closely. "And she even made it look like her. What a narcissistic ass."

"Accessing: Voice Verification Complete. Good morning Commander Shepard. I have a message for you from Operative Danger."

"Great. All right, what is the message?"

"The message is: shut up."

"Wonderful. Even when I'm tens of thousands of light years away, I can't escape her wit."

"Commander, this is some of the most advanced stuff I have ever seen. Watch this." Garrus nodded to DIDI, and punched some sequences into his Omni-tool. The car raced to the far side of the field, and started darting in and out of the trees. Realization dawned upon the commander.

"It's some of the best collision detection programming available. She's doing it all with sonic waves bouncing off of biotic fields. She projects a weak biotic field in a massive radius, and then uses the waves to calculate the distance and shape of objects. The car can go up to sixty by itself, and never hit a thing. You'd think that something as primitive as that would have been replaced with something else, optics maybe, but I have never seen anything this efficient that wasn't on a geth drone. It uses barely any power, and can be programmed to go nearly anywhere and adapt to any terrain and conditions. That thing could weave in and out of snowflakes. The added bonus is that the AI seems to be somewhat shackled, so I don't think the car is going to turn on us and join the geth anytime soon. She's kept the programming just this side of sane."

Tali shot him a look, but let the comment slide. She started looking over Garrus' shoulder at his Omni-tool. "That's amazing. How did she come up with this algorithm? Let me see that." She jerked the turian's arm at an impossible angle and started studying the code. "This is brilliant. I need to download a copy of this." She opened her own Omni-tool and started downloading the data.

"Hey, quit hacking me!" Garrus exclaimed.

"I'm not hacking you. I'm hacking this program."

Garrus just shook his head and focused back on the commander. "There's just one other thing." He picked up a box that had what looked like thick discs in it. "I'm not really sure what these are for."

Shepard looked in the box, and looked confused for a moment. Then she took two of the items out, considered their weight, and grinned at Garrus.

"Garrus, the next time we are at the Citadel, remind me to buy both you and Danger a drink."

Garrus smiled back at the Commander, and they all settled around a map to plan the attack.


	17. Chapter 16: Games of love and war pt II

**Chapter: 16: Games of love and war, Part II**

**-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: LC1 (Red Team)**

Liara settled in her position on top of the tower, and kept one eye on the road below. She knew that now wasn't the time to try to sort through her scattered emotions, but the atmosphere on this planet was soothing and conducive to deep thoughts.

_I can see why they developed to be such a passionate species. This planet really is a beautiful place._

She knew that the time was drawing near. Sooner or later, she was going to have to get the courage to take the next step with the commander. Jane had been incredibly patient with her, but Liara recognized that the amount of time she was taking to sort herself out would soon exasperate the human. Besides that, she felt they were getting ever closer to the eventual confrontation with Saren, and there was no guarantee any of them would make it out of that alive.

_They do not have the luxury of time like we do. I could think about this for a hundred years, and by the time I have the courage, she will already be long gone._

Liara took a deep breath of the cool morning air. She was actually kind of enjoying herself. She had never considered becoming a commando among her own people, but now that she was thrust into a quasi-military life she had to admit that part of it was appealing. Teamwork, and the camaraderie, was actually kind of nice. Her years in isolation had kept her from really developing much of a personality, but Jane and her friends seemed to know how to draw out the best in the young asari and make her feel comfortable.

_There is just nothing about her that I don't like. There is just nothing about her that isn't unique and interesting._

She looked out at the road. There still was no sign of movement or anything unusual. Relaxing again, she thought about the night she spent alone in the small storage room. It had been one of the most exhilarating experiences of her entire life. The feelings that were stirring in here were foreign, yet familiar at the same time. Heat seemed to rise throughout her whenever she thought about the commander. She knew that her people were considered mono-gendered and could potentially mate with anyone, but something in particular about the commander's form had captivated her and she wasn't sure she could feel the same way if the commander had been a different species or gender.

The woman wasn't tall, but she wasn't short either. She kept her dark hair neatly combed and behind her ears, and her uniform was always pressed and in place. Her presence was just, commanding. There was no way to ignore when Jane Shepard walked into a room. Whenever she spoke all eyes went to her. Liara felt she could drown in those eyes, and attempted to get the commander's attention at every possible moment. At first Jane had been responsive, and every time their eyes locked Liara felt like lightning had shot through her. Now though, Jane was starting to avoid contact with her.

_If she is in half as much pain as I am over this, I can understand why. She has so much pressure on her to hold everyone together, and I am not making her job any easier. _

Liara sighed. She wanted very badly to just walk into the commander's room and lose herself in the human's embrace, but she was… afraid. She wasn't even sure what she was afraid of. Jane felt the same way about her, right? It was obvious with every glance that the human was interested in Liara on more than just a friendship level. But, there was something else there as well.

_The weight of the world is on her shoulders, and every time she looks at me she has to balance her desire for a relationship with her duty. I don't want to be the reason she fails in her mission._

_But, aren't you causing her more of a distraction by withholding yourself from her? Aren't you causing unnecessary pain to the both of you?_

Liara struggled with her internal dialogue for what seemed like hours. No matter what angle she looked at it from, the end result would be the same. She was having a negative effect on the commander, and the human had been compassionate enough to leave the progression of the relationship up to her. She felt a little guilty about taking such advantage of the commander's patient nature. Liara was purposely withholding herself and denying the both of them the pleasure and comfort the union could bring.

_Why couldn't we have met in another hundred years? Surely I would have been emotionally equipped to handle this by then._

_Jane Shepard would have been dead by then, or at least too old to pursue a romance with you. _

_I know that. What I mean is; why am I not older… I should be more prepared than this. She deserves someone who can understand her and support her. She deserves better than me. _

_But, she wants you. No other._

_And I want her. _

_Then you need to stop playing games and make it happen. _

Liara sighed and shook her head to clear it. She knew that she needed to approach Jane. It was only a matter of time before the human grew tired of waiting and moved on. Jane wasn't going to live for a thousand years, and Liara felt certain that this love was a once in a lifetime opportunity. She could live the rest of her days happy knowing that she had the love of this one woman, once upon a time.

Something moving in the brush below caught her eye and she peeked over the wall to get a better look.

_They are coming up the road. They are doing a frontal assault. _

"Chief Williams! There's something going on down there!"

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: Outside LC1 (Blue Team)<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard grinned at Garrus as he programmed the Mako.

"This isn't going to fool Ash for long," Garrus commented.

"It won't have to. We will only need a few seconds to get them off their guard. Remember, cascading the events is the key when you are outnumbered. You need to make three soldiers look like three hundred and play off your enemy's weaknesses."

"Right. Are you sure you want to be the one to do this?"

"I have to be. We can't take the risk of tearing Tali's suit, and you are just too big. Besides, I have heard enough bragging about this move that I kind of want to try it myself, just to rub it in her face."

"Ha, all right Commander. Let's get everyone into position."

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: Outside LC1 (Battlefield)<strong>

The Mako sped off up the road, zigzagging crazily. When it came in sight, Liara shouted a warning to the team and Ashley joined her on a ledge just next to the tower. They started firing on the vehicle, but it stopped a few feet from the entrance to the compound. Williams held up a hand, and they ceased firing. She looked closer, but couldn't see anyone inside of it.

"There's no one in it. That makes no sense... Alenko, do you see anything?"

"Negative Chief."

"Wrex, are they coming your way?"

"There's nothing here."

Ash studied the car for another minute. _They have to be using some sort of remote control device. Damn it, why is it just sitting there?_

"Alenko, check to see if anyone is hiding inside. I'll cover you from here. Don't even open the doors; just shoot straight through the windows into the seats. They might be pulling some sort of Trojan Horse thing."

Alenko slowly walked toward the vehicle. He couldn't see anyone inside, but he shot through the windows anyway.

"Nothing Chief."

"Ok, get back to your post."

Just as he turned to leave, he heard a clicking sound, and the Mako rushed forward. Jane Shepard shot him twice in the back, and then started rolling fast to her right to avoid Williams and Liara. It only took them a second to register what had happened, but that second was all that Jane needed to get herself in position for the Mako to pick her back up. The Mako stopped suddenly, reversed and turned slightly, then rolled back over her. She grasped the magnetic disc handles and pulled herself up under the vehicle as it sped backwards down the road.

All of their Omni-tools reported, "Alenko, Disabled."

"Ok, looks like she sent Alenko to investigate. You're up Tali." Garrus gave the quarian's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and then squatted back down to watch her approach.

She nodded and made her way along the debris, sticking to the shadows as she came up to the compound on the east side. Ashley was so focused on Shepard's entrance and exit that she didn't even notice the quarian. Tali set her explosives all along the wall, and ran a short distance away. She found a comfortable looking tree with low hanging branches, and waited for Garrus' signal.

Garrus started moving south and then crouched just out of Ashley and Liara's range of vision. He looked through his sniper scope at them and waited a few moments to see whether Ashley was going to take over Alenko's position, but it didn't seem like she was particularly concerned with the wall.

_Good. You just keep your eyes forward, Chief. Don't even pay attention to what's going on around you. _

He waited a few more minutes, just to let the chief stew, and then signaled Tali. The next thing he heard was a massive explosion as part of the wall on the east side of the compound crumbled. It had the desired effect. Ashley and Liara turned around to see what had happened, and Wrex abandoned his post and rushed to the site. He was easy pickings for Tali, hidden in her tree.

"Wrex, Disabled."

Garrus ran as quickly and quietly as he could towards the break in the wall Wrex had been patrolling. It didn't take him long to reach it, and he scaled the wall easily. Just before he reached the top, he found a comfortable place to leverage his sniper rifle, and he took aim.

Ashley turned to the krogan, furious. "Damn it. Wrex don't EVER abandon your post again. That's an order! "

"Williams, Disabled."

"What the hell?" Ashley looked behind her and saw Garrus and his sniper rifle disappearing back over the wall. Just then, the Mako sped back up to the building.

"Damn it, T'Soni just blast the thing all to hell."

Liara nodded and started firing on the vehicle. The Mako stopped again, but this time the commander wasn't under it. Liara heard the sound of a pistol powering up behind her, and she closed her eyes as Jane Shepard said with a grin, "It's time to surrender, Liara."

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, comm room<strong>

"So, what did we learn at today's game?" Jane Shepard asked her crew.

"Never abandon your post," Wrex said in his slow krogan drawl.

"The true threat is not always where you think it is," answered Liara, thinking about Jane dropping from the bottom of the Mako and later sneaking up the tower while she and Ashley had been distracted.

"That subterfuge is sometimes better than direct confrontation, and a little bit of help from unexpected places can often turn the tide of battle," commented Tali, recalling the new AI in the Mako and the extra supplies.

"That cascading small events will cause a greater distraction than one large disturbance. It can render an entire team disoriented and the chain of command will break," observed Garrus.

"Always look under the damn car," said Kaidan.

"That the commander can still kick my ass." Gunnery Chief Williams smiled at her superior officer. "But that stunt won't work twice. I hope you didn't exhaust your entire bag of tricks on this one game."

"Ha, don't you worry Williams. I still have plenty of tricks up my sleeve. That one wasn't even one of my tricks, to be honest. I borrowed it from a friend."

"Well it was still pretty awesome. The way you rolled and the Mako knew exactly where to run back over you, that was amazing. I don't know anyone else who could have done that. When did you develop a death wish?"

"Yea, well I did improve on it a little. A merc friend of mine has used that dropping technique to get into various places where security wasn't as tight as it should have been. Wait until I tell her how I modified her routine. She will shit a brick."

"Well, tomorrow we get to storm the place. You'd better be ready, skipper."

"Don't you worry gunny. We'll be ready. Everyone go get some rest now. We'll pick it up again tomorrow."

Everyone turned to leave, except Liara.

"Liara, do you need something?" Jane asked, suddenly concerned.

"No, I just wanted to say thank you for training us. I have felt a little out of place getting thrown into all of this, but you were right. The war game today helped a lot."

"Good, that's the point of these. How did you feel about working with Williams?"

"She's a good soldier and respects you very much. I do not think that she means most of the comments she makes about the other species."

"I don't think so either. She's a solid gun and in the end will always make the right decision. I really hope that after this mission the Alliance will see what an asset she is and will stop stonewalling her and her family."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, her grandfather surrendered to the turians during the first contact wars, and the Alliance has been taking it out on the rest of her family ever since. It's really a shame, but humans just don't have the wisdom that your people have yet."

"Well, my people make their fair share of poor decisions. My mother is a good example of that."

Jane saw a shadow pass over the young asari's face, and immediately regretted the direction the conversation had taken. She hadn't wanted to upset Liara.

"I'm sorry Liara. I didn't mean for the conversation to take this turn." She grasped Liara's hand, and her eyes widened as she was immediately bombarded with images. "What... Liara what is going on…?" Jane tried to sort through them, but there were too many and they were all scattered. There were visions of Liara in the storage room, there were visions of Liara with her, and there were visions of…

"Wow. What's all that about?"

The young asari pulled her hand back and looked a little sheepish. "Jane, I…" She didn't know what to say.

Jane sank into a chair, and rubbed her temple. Her head was starting to hurt, and she wasn't sure how to ask what she wanted to ask.

"Liara… There was this one night… I guess it was a few weeks ago now. Well, I woke up, covered in sweat. I thought that I had been dreaming, but couldn't remember the dream. Or at least, the dream couldn't remember me. It felt like… like…"

"Like… I was there." Liara nodded, and knelt down on the ground in front of the commander, sitting back on her heels. "I cannot explain it Jane. It has to be something to do with the melding." She shyly reached for Jane's hands, and smiled when the human leaned forward and gripped them confidently.

"Ok, but I melded with Shiala once too, and I'm certainly not linked up with her." Jane turned the asari's smaller hands over in her grip, rubbing her thumbs absently across the soft skin.

_Gosh, I think I'm in love with her. _

"I think that the unique nature of our relationship might have something to do with that." She gave the commander's hands a reassuring squeeze, and smiled.

"Right. I still don't understand all of this though. I guess it's just going to take some more time to figure out. Are you going to be ok?"

"I will be fine. I just need to go and rest a bit."

Jane nodded. Rest actually sounded like a pretty good idea. It had been a long day, and she was tired as well.

"Ok, just make sure you have Dr. Chakwas have a look. I'm worried about you, Liara."

"I will be fine, Jane. I will see you tomorrow."

Jane released her grip on Liara's hands, and smiled weakly. The asari rose, and looked almost if she wanted to touch the commander again, but Jane had already leaned forward and buried her face in her hands.

_I had better just go. I'm not sure how much of my fantasy she saw, but now is definitely not the time to discuss it with her. _

Liara turned away and left the commander to her solitude.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Comm room<strong>

Jane put her head in her hands and sat like that in the comm room for what seemed like hours. It had been a really good day, but now she was left more confused than ever. When she had touched Liara, something had transferred into her, and she was kind of getting a little tired of her mind not being her own. If it wasn't crystalline dreams haunting her with pain, it was Prothean beacons shitting in her mind, and if it wasn't either of those, it was asari poking through her memories and depositing their own.

_It's impossible to be around her. If she isn't distracting me with suggestive glances, she's actually transferring suggestive images directly into my head. It's just completely impossible to be around her._

She leaned back in the seat, and closed her eyes. The chair was actually rather comfortable. She couldn't understand why Liara always fussed in it during debriefings. Then again, as far as Jane was concerned, the hard steel floor probably would have been comfortable at this point.

_Liara, what is to become of us…? I feel like I've loved you forever… I feel like, you were designed for only me..._

Jane's head fell to her shoulder, and she slept.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Dreams<strong>_

_The apartment is small. There's not much room to move about, but it suits me just fine. I find that I get a lot of writing done here. That's what I am doing tonight as she walks in. She never knocks, but I never lock the door either so it has settled into a sort of mutual agreement. Besides, I knew she was visiting tonight to pick up some information I had found on her favorite subject: history._

_I often leave the planet in search of inspiration for my stories. I have spent my entire life writing works of fiction, and have gained a reputation as the one of the 'great romantics' of the age. On this trip I came across some of the most wondrous documents on an uncharted world near our home planet of Thessia. I immediately chronicled my findings, and returned to send along the news of my discovery to my closest friend. It cut my trip short, but I would use any excuse to have her walk through my door. _

"_Here are the notes I promised," I say with a smile. She accepts them, and leans against the wall as she reads the datapad._

"_This is wonderful. Where did you find this? The images are so clear. The documents seem to be intact."_

"_I found it on a small planet near here. There isn't much else on the surface, but it looks like there may have been an ancient civilization there once. The coordinates are in the datapad, and the documents have been delivered to the scribes for safekeeping. I thought it would please you, so I returned immediately."_

_She smiles at me, and it takes my breath away. I know her better than anybody does. She has been a commando for the last several hundred years, while I have been spending my time traveling the stars and writing, but her true love lies in studying the past. She has a brilliant intellect, and she spends every spare moment she has reading. As I admire her perfect form, her expression changes. I can tell that there is something on her mind._

"_We need to… We need to talk," she says, depositing the datapad on a nearby table. I lean back on the sofa I occupy, and cock my head at her quizzically. I am not sure what is going to come next, but it seems important. _

"_What is it you would like to discuss?" I ask her._

"_We need to talk about us."_

_My heart stops in my chest. She had never given any obvious indication before of an interest in an 'us' and my curiosity is piqued. _

"_I'm not sure as to what 'us' you refer to." I examine the words in my head after saying them, and decide they do in fact sound stupid. In my attempt to appear clever and collected, I manage to sound ridiculous. She notices my internal dialogue, and smiles that quiet smile that causes me to fall in love with her over and over again. She notices everything. _

"_Jennestia has made me an offer."_

_My heart stops yet again. Jennestia is one of the most attractive creatures to ever grace the galaxy. She works in the public relations offices, and is often seen hosting events at all manner of posh hotels and restaurants. Tall and luxurious, with her tiger-like facial markings and almond shaped eyes; there isn't a soul in the charted universe that didn't desire her. There isn't a soul who wouldn't give up everything for one night with her. _

"_Oh?" Self-conscious about my own lack of facial markings, I try to sound nonchalant, though I feel my heart breaking as I anticipate her next words._

"_Yes." She looks straight into my eyes, as if to bore through to my soul. I pray that she doesn't see the pain in them, for I just want her to be happy. "Does it not bother you at all?"_

"_What would you have me say?" My voice cracks, and her keenly observant mind latches onto the one signal I have given of my fear and disappointment. _

"_I came here to talk about us, and I want to talk about us."_

"_And again I ask, to what 'us' do you refer?" And then, it happens. All of my confusion and self-doubt are washed away as she walks over to me, and straddles my lap. My hands instinctively grip her waist as my body responds, pushing up into her, and I hear her whisper, "this us," as she covers my mouth with hers and her eyes turn to obsidian. _

_The years have grown long and I hadn't realized how many of them had been spent in such internal isolation, until I found myself supporting her back with one arm, standing, and cradling her neck with the other as I lay her down on the sofa. She is slightly surprised by my strength, but I sense that it excites her and she wraps more securely around me as I settle onto her. I have never felt anything quite as natural as the sensation of this woman beneath me, and I feel her responding to my every movement with encouragement and frantic desire. I have kept myself locked up for far too long._

_She is fumbling at my clothes, and suddenly I feel that hers are too much a barrier between us as well. Something feral inside me awakens as I feel her scratching along my skin, begging for the love that I have held inside for her all these long years. I don't want to break the contact, but I must to remove the last remnants of our clothing. I gaze for a moment at the beauty lying beneath me, but she leans up and locks her arms around my neck, pulling me back onto her. I am blinded as our skin makes contact, and I can feel her heart pounding as she struggles to melt into me. _

_I feel her pushing into my mind, and I am sure now that she has loved me for as long as I have loved her. It all pours into me as I reach down to adjust her hips, settling more firmly against her and letting down all my barriers, my own eyes turning to obsidian. I know she is searching for something, but I don't fight her. She grasps along my back and sinks in deeply, eliciting a primal growl from deep in my throat. I sense her amusement at her ability to control my reactions, and she pushes up against me again, chasing the electrical reward that shoots through her own body every time it receives a response from mine. _

_I feel she is coming close, and her search becomes more frantic. I can feel her in my mind, everywhere along my skin, as she seeks the most perfect parts of me and my legacy. She is holding me in place, writhing beneath me as I bury my face in her neck and open the deepest parts of my being for her examination. I feel her picking through and accepting various pieces into herself, and I wait to see which ones will be placed aside. I am coming close now as well, and I bite into her shoulder to alert her. She understands the signal, and I feel her hands move further down my back and latch on, pulling me against her desperately as she takes these last few seconds to secure her final selections into herself and away from me. I cover her mouth with my own once more, swallowing her cries as the throes of passion overcome both of us. As I push one last time against her, willing everything about my essence and legacy into her, I black out and collapse. _

_One last thought invades my darkness before sleep overtakes me: Of all the pieces of me she encountered during her search, many of which were surely structurally inferior and useless, she rejected none of them._

_I wake sometime later, and she is watching me. I prop myself up on one elbow and ask her, "You did it, didn't you?"_

_She nods slowly. "Are you angry with me?"_

_I shake my head and pull her closer, turning her over and holding her tight. "I am in love with you. I will love you through every age," I whisper as I curl my arm protectively across her belly, where soon my child would grow. "I will love you through every age."_

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Comm room<strong>

Jane woke up to the sound of the console beeping, signaling an incoming call.

"Call coming through for you Commander," she heard her pilot say. "Patching it through."

She shook her head a little to clear it. The dream had seemed so… so real. As if it had actually happened, somewhere else, in another age long past.

_I think I am going mad. It's a wonder I can even still think for myself with all this mental stress… That was just an exhaustion induced dream likely triggered by Joker's mention of asari porn. Yes, that's all it was. _

She turned to the console, and flipped open the communications channel. At least in this sea of confusion, she could count on her friend to be stable.

Jane's eyes widened as they adjusted to the light and her friend came into focus. Danger looked… terrible.

"Danger, you look like hell! What is going on?"


	18. Chapter 17: My secrets are my own

**Chapter 17: My secrets are my own.**

**-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's offices**

She had been in the meeting for what felt like forever.

The turian diplomat just droned on and on, and Terriana knew he was attempting to impress her with his wit. Over the centuries she had been presented with every offer imaginable, and turned every last one of them down. Her mind drifted away from the present, and she thought about how none of the offers she'd had ever seemed very genuine. Usually it was just because the universe was obsessed with asari. Some may have been legitimate affection, but nothing had ever stirred her heart and this boring turian certainly wasn't getting anywhere. He wanted a political alliance more than a lifelong loving partnership, anyway.

_Well, in the end, it does boil down to everyone just wanting a piece of you. _

Finally, after what seemed like an age, he stopped talking and got up to take his leave of her. She rose as well and graciously offered her hand before watching him depart. She tried to remember what he had been saying, but couldn't put her finger on what exactly his point was. She'd have to go through the meeting logs the next day out in the garden with Danger, now that she was mostly done punishing the human and was starting to become lonely for her companionship. Yes, tomorrow she would fetch Danger and deal with whatever it was this meeting was about. For now, she was just tired of being the up and coming Matriarch Terriana and she wanted to rest.

Falling back onto her chair, exhausted, she looked over the following day's schedule.

_More meetings. Oh what a surprise. _

She looked out the window at the young maidens training in the garden and for a brief moment felt a pang of regret for never training as a warrior. The way the moonlight caressed their blue skin and reflected on their weapons was an entrancing sight.

_You can't dwell on that. You had to make a choice and you made it. It's worked out well. Seven hundred years walking this planet, and no one has a clue. What's a little boredom? It's better than the alternative._

She rose once again, and opened her door to leave only to run straight into her security officer, who was pacing just outside.

"Danger, what are you doing?"

"Well, um, I was just. Yea. The meeting was really going late so I just stationed myself out here to um. Patrol! Yea…" Terriana watched as Danger started scratching the back of her head, and got the distinct impression that the human was struggling with some sort of internal dialogue.

The matriarch suddenly realized how close she was to her hired bodyguard, and drew a silent, but sharp breath. She didn't back off though, feeling her skin start to tingle and react to the heaviness in the air. Instead, she drew herself to her full height which admittedly was a couple inches taller than the human, and watched in some amusement as Danger subconsciously attempted to do the same. It brought her nearly eye level, and the matriarch noticed for the first time that Danger's eyes were the most mystical green she had ever observed.

_Interesting. _

Then Danger was stammering something about vigilance and never relaxing guard, but Terriana wasn't really listening. She was busy looking back through her memories of the centuries for anything that would help to explain this strange behavior, or the strange electricity that seemed alive in the air surrounding them. It was causing her head to swim. She was already so close; all she needed to do was lean forward into the mercenary just a tiny bit. She could close the distance and ease all the pain in a matter of seconds; it would only take seconds…

Then Danger was saying something else about the situation being under control and leaving now, and as suddenly at it had arrived when the door opened and she stepped neatly into the human, the electricity that filled the air was gone. Terriana backed into the room again, closing the door and sinking onto a couch. Suddenly, her thoughts were racing out of control.

_This can't be happening. _

_You knew it would happen._

_I had no way of knowing this would happen. _

_You knew. You wanted this. There's no other explanation for all your actions, no other logical reasoning for even hiring her._

_I can't want this. _

_You can't want this or can't have it?_

_Both._

She had to find some way to put some distance in between her and the mercenary before it drove her mad. She went over to her desk and picked up a datapad. She sent a message to Rolus with some instructions and then sank back into her chair.

_I have to get this under control. I don't have a choice. This is the best course of action. This is the only course of action._

The matriarch buried her head in her hands and prayed for the night to be over.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, The open road – Early morning, two weeks later<strong>

Danger needed to clear her head. Things were rapidly going from bad to worse, and she was beginning to think that maybe she had made a mistake coming here to Thessia. She maneuvered the small rover around some fallen rock, and slumped down in her seat. It was a leisure vehicle, not meant for any serious driving, but it was a good car and could navigate the terrain easily. She'd had it delivered from her garage on Earth a month or two after she had gotten here, so that she had something to tinker with during her stay on the planet. Slowly she had been moving all of her cars here, having rented a small facility in a nearby city. It just didn't make sense to leave them on Earth. Who could know when this job would be over? Danger was in no hurry to leave. Well, at least the thought hadn't crossed her mind until recently.

_Why is she doing this? I could deal with the silent treatment every now and again, but this is going too far. What does she want from me? Why doesn't she just tell me to leave?_

Danger was feeling particularly lonely today. It had been two weeks since she had spoken to or accompanied the matriarch on an excursion, and even longer than that since she had guarded a garden logging session. While Terriana had not fired her nor had Rolus tell her to move on, she hadn't sought out the mercenary either. Danger knew she was still attending her various meetings on other worlds and occasionally saw her out in the garden listening to her logs, but it just seemed that Terriana wasn't interested in bringing Danger anymore. She had a new bodyguard.

Her foot depressed the gas pedal further and she shifted into high gear. She leaned back with one arm on the wheel and the other on her gear shifter, and watched the sun rise over the horizon. It was a wondrous sight and the specially formulated glass Danger used for her windshield magnified the light with such clarity that it took the human's breath away. Up ahead, the road turned to the right sharply, circling a hill and winding into the distance, away from the nearly impassable mountain range to the left. This was one of Danger's favorite roads on Thessia. It gave a good clear view of the sun rising over the valley, and it was secluded. The asari native to the world rarely traveled it.

Danger sat back up in her seat, and pushed the gas pedal further. The car accelerated, but it wasn't enough. Danger was starting to get _that rush_, and now seemed as good a time as any to chase it. She shifted into neutral, released the clutch, tapped the accelerator, and then downshifted. Feeling the car respond beneath her skillful manipulation, she accelerated and the edge raced up to meet her.

_It would be so easy and fast. No one would ever even find me down there. It would be so easy to do. _

She kept accelerating, and felt the engine start to protest under the stress.

_I'll bet she wouldn't even notice I was gone. I'd have to wait for Jane to figure out what happened. _

Her eyes narrowed, and the edge started to swim in her blurry vision as she blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over.

_Yes, so easy. It would be a fitting end for the legendary idiot mercenary Darla Vance: death, at the bottom of a ravine on Thessia, in one of her rovers. Perfect. _

The sun was just lifting itself fully above the horizon, and its first rays shimmered off the windshield and hood of the polished machine, shining a metallic blue in the air that reminded Danger strangely of the matriarch's eyes.

_Well, maybe not today…_

She cut the wheel hard to the left, and the car spun to the side and slid for several meters, and then settled just along the edge before picking up speed again, racing up the side of what looked like a mountain trail.

It still wasn't enough.

Danger shifted into neutral again, released the clutch, tapped the accelerator, and downshifted once more. The car fell into gear, but this time it protested the speed and power Danger was attempting to draw from it. Danger didn't back off the gas though, and the poor little rover gave all it could as it raced up the mountain. She kept the gas pedal depressed, rushing to meet the sky, almost as if she could launch the car into space and leave the planet behind forever.

The rover wasn't going to launch though, and she felt the machine give the last bit of its life under her abuse. It lurched once, twice, thrice, and then the transmission seized. The rover came to a stop just before breaking the peak of the small mountain.

Danger sat there for a few minutes, just looking up at the sky. It didn't look quite like Earth's sky, but it wasn't too terribly different either. She thought she could see Omega from here.

_That's where I should be right now. There's all the asari anyone could ever want, out on Omega. I need to talk to Jane. She'll know what to do. Jane always knows what to do. I'll deal with this rover later. I'm so sorry, old girl. I'll get you a new transmission. _

Danger exited the vehicle and ran her hands along the side of the rover; almost an apology for taking her frustration out on the machine.

_I better start walking. _

Darla "Danger" Vance looked back at the sky one more time, and then started making her way back down the mountain.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's Offices – late evening<strong>

Rolus entered the matriarch's offices without knocking, and closed the door behind him. She looked up from the datapad she was reading, ready to shout at him for interrupting her, but the look on his face froze the words on her tongue.

"You need to get rid of that Commando."

She turned off the datapad and folded her hands on her desk.

"I'll do no such thing. I can no longer count on Danger to perform her duties."

"Then why is Danger still here? If you think her so incompetent, then get rid of her."

"Who I employ is my business, Rolus." She stretched one hand and examined her nails, scraping at one absently with her other hand.

"It's my business when it affects the day to day operations of this office, Matriarch. You need to get rid of that stupid Commando. Danger has been sleeping out in the lounge for weeks. You have been a furious wreck for at least that long. It's ridiculous. We've gotten nothing done."

"I'm surprised they didn't just bed down together," the matriarch replied, but she secretly _was_ surprised. She had purposely chosen the most attractive of the available Commandos, and then stationed her in Danger's offices. Maybe if Danger had acted on lust and involved herself with the other asari, the matriarch could justify her poor treatment of the human.

"You know, for a woman your age, you can act awfully immature." He crossed his arms, and glared at her. She was acting ridiculous. He knew fully well that she was interested in that human, but for some reason she just couldn't articulate it. Instead, she was going out of her way to abuse the poor creature, and now Danger had finally had enough. She was bailing.

"I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about." She turned her attention to a datapad and started writing something, hoping that he would take the hint and leave.

He didn't.

"You know exactly what I am talking about, Matriarch. Danger has done nothing wrong, and you have been punishing her for what feels like forever. Give her a break. She stopped training in the garden, and has been sufficiently miserable since you put that Commando in her room. You should be pleased."

The matriarch looked up from what she was writing and saw that he was certainly not joking. In fact, this was the first time Terriana could remember him actually looking angry. His normally jovial face was as stone cold as the C-Sec guards she had seen on the citadel, and his eyes flashed with a fury she had never seen in him before.

"Get rid of the Commando, or let Danger go. She deserves better than this."

She felt a slight pain in her chest at his choice of words. She didn't really want to let Danger go.

"I'll remind you that you are not in charge here, Rolus."

"And I'll remind you, that you are acting like a jackass toward someone who has done nothing but cater to your every whim." He uncrossed his arms, took one step forward and pointed a finger at her. "I don't know what imagined insult you think you are suffering at her hand, but I can guarantee you that it's entirely in your head. That human puts up with more of your nonsense than any turian or asari would, and there's only one possible explanation as to why. _Get rid of that Commando, _or I promise you very soon Danger is just going to walk. Then you'll be sorry."

Terriana opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She had hired the Commando after the incident outside her office, and had given the woman explicit instructions to take over the security center, including the cot her bodyguard had set up in there. While she didn't have the woman accompany her into her logging sessions in the garden like she had with Danger, she did bring the Commando to all of her meetings off world. She started avoiding Danger entirely. Now, she felt a little remorse. It was stupid to hire the Commando and ignore Danger, and she had no idea what she even hoped to come of it.

Maybe she really thought that by ignoring the mercenary, her own strange feelings would go away. Maybe she did it to get Danger angry enough to confront her. Maybe she wanted to see how long it would take for the mercenary to leave. Maybe she wanted her bodyguard to burst into her offices, fuming and full of that legendary human passion, and end up straight in her arms. But Danger didn't do any of those things. She just quietly accepted whatever the matriarch had decided, and faded into the background. Terriana looked back at the log note she had been working on, but the letters weren't making sense. Nothing was making sense.

_I wish I'd had relationships before this. Maybe this wouldn't be turning into such a complete disaster. _

"I don't mean to rush you Matriarch, but you should know that she's on the com with Shepard as we speak, and her friend is probably going to convince her to leave after she hears about this fiasco. You aren't going to get another chance to fix this."

_Shepard! It's __**always**__ Shepard! Why does she __**always**__ run straight to Shepard?_

"Thank you Rolus that will be all. Please inform Commando Yhamira that her services are no longer needed, and inform Danger that I expect the Security Offices to be returned to peak efficiency by the morning. I will expect her to accompany me to go over some logs before the morning meal." She picked the datapad back up, and resumed reading.

"I'll get rid of the Commando, but I'm not going to clean up your mess with Danger. If you want her, you are going to have to go get her yourself."

The matriarch's head snapped up, ready to spew venom at her assistant's lack of tact, but Rolus was already leaving the room to relieve the Commando of her duties.

Terriana dropped the datapad again and leaned back in her chair. Her heart was starting to ache, and she realized that the past two weeks had been incredibly long. She missed Danger.

_I can't face her right now. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow. _

_She'll be gone by tomorrow._

_Maybe not, surely Shepard won't be able to convince her to leave that quickly…_

_Do you really want to sit around here and find out?_

Terriana drummed her fingers on the desk. She looked at the empty chair across from where she sat, where Danger would recline and listen to her complain or blow off steam. The chair was always in the same place, and Danger always sat in it in the same way. She would lean back, one leg crossing the other, with her hands folded neatly on her stomach, and radiate such an aura of calm and control that whatever was bothering the matriarch would quickly dissipate. Terriana had become so used to it that when she took meetings in her office with other dignitaries, she started placing objects on the chair to discourage anyone else from using it or moving it. That was Danger's chair.

Now Danger hadn't filled that seat since their fight in the garden, and it was all her fault.

_Well, what DID you expect to come of it? _

_I don't know. _

She buried her face in her hands and leaned forward on her desk. Everything was going so wrong. None of this was right. None of this was what she wanted.

_This isn't how this was supposed to happen, Danger. You were supposed to rush in here furiously demanding I get rid of the Commando. I would have met you halfway in, pretending to fight back, and you would have seen it in my eyes. You would have seen everything in my eyes. You were supposed to forget all your anger, and not be able to hold in your passion any longer._

_You would catch me in your embrace, ignoring my half-hearted struggles, and kiss me fiercely. I would try to push you away, just a little, before circling your neck with my arms and surrendering to you._

_You were supposed to lay me down, burying me and protecting me from the world's prying eyes. I would fiddle with the asari symbol on your uniform shirt a little before pulling it over your head to reveal your perfect flesh, as your hair got caught and came cascading down. You were supposed to unfasten my robes, and I would attempt hold them shut, fear in my eyes until yours told me that you love me no matter what I am, or where I come from. _

_I was supposed to reveal it all to you, and for the first time in my life allow myself to completely trust in another. It was supposed to be so perfect. Even now, I can imagine exactly how your skin would feel against mine. Something inside me is begging me to close the distance between us, and I don't know how much longer I can keep myself in these offices and away from you._

_Something inside me wants to grab the small of your back and pull you closer, wrap around you until I can no longer see the light of day. I need to feel you above me, supporting yourself with your elbows on either side of my head, looking down on me with those beautiful green eyes that say you belong to me forever. I want to feel your heart beating, feel all the frustration and loneliness and despair you feel; my love, you can silence my whimpers with a kiss and inject all of that emotion directly into me. You can take out all the anger and frustration of the past few months on me, and find comfort in my arms. I'm so sorry for it all. This is not how this was supposed to happen. _

_I was supposed to lay out all my secrets for you._

The matriarch raised her head and wiped away the lone tear that had spilled over her cheek. There was no denying it. She was in love with Danger.

The matriarch stood, and looked in the mirror. She could never tell the human. She was far too cowardly. All her fantasies about the 'what ifs', and what she would do were just the bitter and broken dreams of a lonely woman, doomed to a solitary existence.

_She could never love me. Rolus is wrong about why she stays. All humans are greedy and she's just staying for the paycheck._

She drew herself to her full height and adjusted her robes, ensuring they covered her neck and back completely, and the broken and emotional woman of a few minutes ago was once again replaced by the stone cold asari matriarch.

_My secrets will remain my own._


	19. Chapter 18: On a jet plane

**Chapter 18: On a jet plane**

**-Normandy, Comm room**

"Danger, you look like hell! What is going on?"

Jane Shepard stared at the image of her friend over the console, and couldn't help but notice the woman looked absolutely ragged.

"I don't even know, Jane. I should get the hell out of here. I don't even know why I'm still here."

"Darla, what happened?" she asked, switching to her friend's first name and lowering her voice.

"I think Terriana wants to fire me or something. She hired this, this Commando and then put her in my offices. She knows damn well that I sleep in those offices. The Commando wouldn't budge, she's a major bitch - so I just let her have the room and started sleeping out in the lounge. She's been gallivanting everywhere with her 'new' bodyguard and completely ignoring me."

"Why are you still there?"

"I don't... I'm not… I'm not sure… Jane… I can't say it."

"Just leave, Darla. Omega still exists you know."

"I can't leave."

"Why the hell not? If she isn't even talking to you and has moved some Commando in, it's clear that she is restructuring her 'security team' and suggesting you move on. Just leave."

"I can't leave, not unless she sends me away. I don't know why she is doing this, but she hasn't sent me away yet."

Jane Shepard looked over her friend's agonized face, and her heart broke. She had never seen Danger in so much pain, or actually, in any pain at all. Danger always seemed so untouchable, so unreachable, and so steady. Nothing could penetrate the walls of the mercenary. Nothing, it would seem, until now.

"Oh, Danger. Why didn't you just go to Omega…?"

Jane saw her friend close her eyes and fight some internal battle.

"I wish I had. This has just gotten worse than anything I could have imagined. I could deal with it when she'd just ignore me for a couple weeks, but now it's just… It's just getting to be too much."

Jane sat there, just looking at Danger for a few moments, considering.

_She's in so much pain; I have to do something about this… What can I do? I have to convince her to leave there. She should never have gone there in the first place. Maybe she can come hang out with me and Liara. Yes that's not a bad idea at all._

"I have an idea. If you can't bring yourself to leave, why not just take a vacation? Ash and I have been drilling the crew and teaching them military exercises, so we were taking a break from the mission anyway. We can pick you up tomorrow and you can run some war games with us. It will even out the teams, and I know that Garrus and Tali would love to meet you. They think you are some sort of programming goddess."

Danger smiled at the compliment. "Are they your mechanics?"

"Garrus is. Tali is our resident hacker. You should have seen them fighting over who gets to reverse engineer the AI code first."

"Ha, well if they are that interested, I'll give them the source. You know, a vacation sounds like a really good idea. Help me clear out my head, and she can spend all her time with that stupid commando without having to worry about me. Maybe by the time I get back she will have gotten it out of her system."

_She probably won't even notice I'm gone._

"Perfect. I'll let everyone know you are coming. I have a few new tricks I want to show you anyway. You will be so proud of the death wish I have developed."

Danger just smiled her quiet smile. "I'm sure that you haven't developed a death wish, especially now that you have so much to look forward to with that cutie you picked up. I'm going to start packing. I'll be at the space port tomorrow morning."

"See you then, Danger."

The commander turned off the console and shook her head. She had never found the time to talk to her friend about the situation with the matriarch, and now it seemed that Liara's warning was right on the money. Danger had been in over her head this time and now she was hurting and there was nothing Jane could do for her friend.

_I should have listened to Liara and talked to Danger. I shouldn't have spent all that time we did have loading all my problems on her. She's such a good friend to everyone, and everyone just walks all over her. _

_Including me…_

Jane leaned back in her chair and looked at the ceiling. Time was catching up with her, and it threatened to overtake everything she had ever known. It seemed like the world was crashing down around everyone she knew and loved.

_I have got to go get some sleep. We'll grab Danger in the morning, and then lose ourselves in some more war games. I can deal with everything tomorrow._

Jane Shepard got out of the chair and stretched before heading for her quarters.

_Yes, tomorrow. _

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Nightmares<strong>  
><em>

_Ice. _

_Jane looked around her. There was no silver this time. All was ice. She had advanced past the mountain range, but now she was no longer in a platinum wonderland. This place was clear, translucent, somehow… frozen in time. Miles of glass stretched before her, behind her, beside her. She scanned the horizon for any sign of the planet of platinum swords, but even the sky was a pale crystal, a stark contrast to the velvet twilight she remembered from the… other place. _

Why am I here?

_There was no sound, no sweet harmony of metallic blades twirling in the distance. There was no utterance of encouragement from her invisible host. There was nothing to guide her or help her, this time. _

_She rubbed her arms, realizing that she was standing nearly naked, her only coverings being her smallclothes. She had been deposited in this frozen wasteland with no protection from the elements, and she felt her toes starting to numb. _

Where must I go?

_There was no answer from within, and no answer from without. She started walking. _

_She spent hours following what she could only describe as a dried up riverbed. It was a slight indentation in the frozen floor, and looked as though perhaps in a different time, a mighty river had marked its passage there. The land of ice may have tried to hide the traces of its passing, crisscrossing it slowly with glaciers, eroding the terrain surrounding it in an effort to conceal its secrets… But time did not bow to this crystalline land. The river's mark remained. The river's mark led her. _

_She closed her eyes, and realized that it no longer seemed cold. She wondered if she was starting to succumb to winter's deadly kiss. _

Where must I go? I will die in this land without guidance…

_Opening her eyes, she gazed at the sky once more, hoping to see something, anything that would reassure her that she was in the right place. _

_Perhaps the voice has given up on me, and has left me to die in this glass prison. Perhaps I have been found unworthy, and I have been sentenced to finish my remaining days here, alone, frozen, and lonely. _

_She stopped walking, and dropped her hands to her sides. There was nothing to her left, and only the indentation of the riverbed on her right. She turned around, and all she saw behind her was the slightest shimmer marking her footsteps. _

I am weary. I cannot complete this task.

_Her eyelids became heavy, and she tottered where she stood. _

What must I do? Where must I go?

_Jane forced all of her will to her failing eyes, and opened them once more. She turned to her left, and stepped into the riverbed, intending to lay her body along its curve... intending to help this forsaken land finally erase the memory of the river's passing. But, she was unable to lie down. A fountain appeared as she stepped into the depressed ground, and as she watched, it filled with miniscule glass shards, so small, they were almost as liquid._

I cannot do what you ask of me.

_She felt a weight pressing against her back, urging her to move forward and drink from the fountain. She hesitated, and felt despair tugging at the tendrils of her mind from somewhere far away. She gripped the sides of the fountain, and closed her eyes. She took several deep breaths, hoping to steady herself. This trial was too much. She could handle anything that attacked her from the outside… But how could she defend from a foe that attacked from the inside?_

I cannot do what you ask of me.

_From another time, another place, she felt a disappointment. She felt the voice… nodding, and accepting her decision. The voice was accepting it, but was disappointed in her. Slowly, the ice started to swirl in her vision, and she felt the despair once more as the voice cried, for her, for the universe, for all life… Jane couldn't stand the sound. It shattered her eardrums, and froze her blood. She covered her ears, and cried back at the voice. She fell to her knees, and shouted at it. _

_She gripped the sides of the fountain once more, plunged her face into the liquid glass, and drank deeply, screaming in her mind as the icy shards sliced her throat and stomach open, drowning her physical cries with her own blood. _

_A wave of silver ice shattered the crystalline universe, and carried Jane away into the darkness…_

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, Security offices<strong>

Danger walked into her offices, and was relieved to see that the commando seemed to be elsewhere. Normally the insufferable woman was sitting at Danger's console, studying battle tactics or something equally boring.

_She's probably with Terriana right now. I bet they are in her offices, discussing their next trip. Or maybe they have graduated to her bedroom. _

That thought sent a sliver of pain straight to the mercenary's heart. Danger looked at the small bag she kept near the door, and picked it up for the first time since arriving on Thessia.

_You know, I never really thought I would actually use you…_

She opened the bag and looked inside. There wasn't much in it, just some tools and some shirts, a couple pair of trousers, and a very small datapad that she kept various schematics of her cars in. She put the bag on her cot, and opened a file cabinet where she kept her uniforms. Taking one shirt out, she unfolded it and looked it over. It was black, and had the symbol of the asari nation on the shoulder. Danger knew that the commandos never wore uniforms, but she liked looking official and openly declaring her allegiance to the matriarch.

She stared at the shirt for a long time, just thinking about what it symbolized.

_I wasted so much time here, on absolutely nothing. I should never have come. Why didn't I just get on that transport to Omega? Who knows how many asari I could have been through by now…_

_You know why. _

_I don't. _

_You know. You just don't want to. _

_I don't care. _

_You care. That's your problem._

_No, that's __**your**__ problem._

…

_It's my problem._

Danger folded the shirt back up, and placed it back in the drawer. There was no need to take any of them with her. She closed her bag, took a look at the room that had been her home for the last few months, and allowed herself one last breath of air in the only place she felt she had belonged her entire life. Opening the door, she silently slipped out and headed for the city where she garaged her vehicles. She just couldn't spend another night in this place, knowing her replacement was wasting no time in taking over all of her duties, and probably some additional ones as well.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, outside the security offices the next morning<strong>

Terriana stood in the doorway, looking in at the small room that Danger had occupied since her arrival on Thessia. Danger wasn't there, and the matriarch noticed that the small bag she had always kept near the door was missing as well. She stood there for hours, willing Danger to appear, but the mercenary was gone. She was too late; she had spent too much time with her own internal struggle, debating how to approach the mercenary. She had fallen asleep while trying to sort through her words, and now Danger was beyond her reach.

"She left right after her conversation with Shepard." Rolus had been watching her for the last twenty minutes, and felt he needed to say something to break the woman out of her trance.

Terriana didn't acknowledge him.

"Well, the good news is that she didn't cancel her contract with Alleria. She said Danger stopped by, and paid this month's rent before leaving. If her cars are still here, she's probably coming back.

"I never thought she would actually leave, Rolus."

Rolus closed his eyes and willed himself the courage to continue. "So what are you going to do?"

She turned to him with a shocked expression on her face. "Do? There is nothing for me to do."

Her advisor shook his head sadly. He knew that tone in her voice, and sensed she was hardening her heart. She was just going to let Danger leave.

"Terriana, that's a mistake." He turned and walked away from her, clearly not interested in her response.

She turned back to the room, and moved inside, shutting the door behind her. She sat on the small cot that Danger had set up, and wrinkled her nose. It smelled like that horrid commando.

_Why did I do this? I don't even know how to contact her, even if I did want to apologize. _

She got back up and walked out of the compound into the garden, taking a seat on the bench that she and Danger had spent so many nights going over logs on. The morning air was crisp, and it gently caressed the skin on her face.

_This is my favorite place in the entire universe, but it's just another bench now that you are gone. How can I possibly fix this?_

She watched the horizon as a human ship touched down in the distance.

_Alliance ship. It's probably Shepard, coming for Danger. Not in the least bit surprising. Humans always stick together…_

Suddenly, she had a thought.

_An Alliance ship… I have a call to make. _

The matriarch stood with a renewed sense of purpose and strode toward her offices.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Garage<strong>

Jane Shepard was excited to see her friend. It felt almost like it did when they would coordinate Jane's shore leaves to go invade the Citadel. She brought Liara with her to greet Danger, but asked the rest of the crew to stay out of the garages. She didn't want to make the mercenary uncomfortable with a lot of prying eyes right away.

She looked at Liara as they waited, noticing the young asari's troubled look.

"What's wrong?"

"Jane, I can feel her despair from here. It is tangible. It must have something to do with my link to you, but I can feel Danger's sorrow and it is breaking my heart…"

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say to that."

"Jane, what are you and Danger?"

"I'm not sure I know what you mean. We have never been romantically involved; if that's what you are asking."

"No, that is not quite what I meant. I don't know what I meant. I just hope that seeing you will help her to forget her pain."

"I do too." Jane looked at Liara and though she felt a little guilty, she thanked any god or goddess listening that she was the one who ended up with the loving and compassionate young asari.

Just then, Danger appeared and walked up the ramp into the garages. She smiled sadly, and dropped her small bag. Jane moved to embrace her friend, but Liara got there first and threw herself into the human's arms. Danger closed her eyes and returned the embrace, doing her best to hold back the tears that were threatening to come loose. She heard an almost audible click as Liara's eyes turned to obsidian, and felt the young woman tentatively reaching out to comfort her.

Danger shut her eyes tight, clamped down every mental barrier she could find, and willed a response with all her remaining strength and prayed the asari wouldn't be offended.

_No! Only her… Please understand…_

Liara's eyes returned to her normal blue, and she stepped back from Danger.

"I do".

Danger cupped the young asari's face in her hands and said in an agonized voice, "Thank you." She let her hands drop to the young woman's shoulders, and looked over at her friend.

"Jane, why didn't you warn me it would feel like this?"

Jane had been watching the exchange, jealousy rearing its ugly head as Liara embraced the tall human, but it all spilled out of her at the sound of the unadulterated pain in her friend's voice.

_I should have warned her, she's right. She's in love with Matriarch Terriana, and that foolish asari led her on and broke her heart. _

Danger moved toward Jane, and her friend caught her in a tight embrace. Liara quietly backed away and left the garage as Danger and Jane sank to the floor, the commander holding her friend tightly as the miserable mercenary cried herself to sleep.


	20. Chapter 19: Games of love and war pt III

**Chapter 19: Games of love and war part III**

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Comm room<strong>

Jane Shepard looked around at her crew and smiled. They were chattering amongst themselves and she knew that they were excited for today's war game, and they were interested in the newcomer.

_It's hard not to be interested in Danger. She could have anyone in the universe. Why did she pick the one asari that just wanted to play with her heart?_

These war games had been a really good idea, and she couldn't wait to see what kind of creativity the crew came up with today. This time the teams would be even, and it was Jane's turn to defend.

"Everyone, this is a good friend of mine who will be joining us for the rest of the games. This is Operative Danger Vance. She is a mercenary that has done some freelance work for the Allian..."

"Wait a minute," Kaidan interrupted. "Did you say Danger Vance? Are you talking about that mercenary who took on Jacob Red and his crew six years ago?"

Danger nodded slowly. "Yes, I remember Jacob Red. One of the worst sorts; fancied himself a pirate. I was sent in there to collect some children he had kidnapped. I was forced to break their wrists to get them out of the shackles, but I didn't have a choice. There were four to get out of that ship. I didn't have the luxury of time on that mission."

"My niece was among them. It was nothing a little medigel couldn't fix. She would have faced far worse than broken wrists, I'm sure. Thank you for getting her out of that place." He stood and shook Danger's hand vigorously, and Danger looked to Jane for help.

"All right, let's all calm down. We all know that Danger is well known throughout the galaxy. Anyway, she will be joining us and she'll be on the blue team with me, Tali and Garrus. It will be the Hackers vs. the Biotics."

"Wait a second, she's a biotic herself," Chief Williams interrupted, noticing a glint of metal underneath where the human had fastened her hair.

Danger reached behind her neck and dislodged her amp. "Not anymore. Here, you can hang onto this." She handed the small metal amplifier to Williams.

"Actually Ash, if you had any idea how she uses that talent, you'd let her keep it. It's far more likely to work out in your favor than ours." Jane grinned at her friend, who scratched the back of her neck and tried to look innocent.

"I'll have you know that I'm an incredibly proficient biotic, _Commander_. In fact, I have been propositioned by many asari to teach them my ways."

"I've no doubt you have been propositioned by asari, Danger. I just don't think it's for your biotic talents. All right, so this will be the same drill as before. This time blue team will touch down first, and fortify the base. When we are ready, we will signal joker and red team can touch down in the Mako. Let's all head to the garages and get the games started!"

Everyone got up to move, and Liara squeezed Jane's hand as she walked by.

"Oh gosh, Jane look at the grin on you," commented Danger. "Are you sure you are going to be able to focus with her *ahem* invading our base?"

"I'll be fine, Danger." Jane watched Liara exit the comm room and sighed. She shook her head slowly.

Danger grabbed her friend's arm and turned her around. "Wait a minute, Jane. I know that look. You two haven't... Done anything yet... have you… Are you sure you are in a relationship?"

"I left it up to her. It feels like sometimes, she wants to say something more… or you know, get closer… But something is stopping her. I don't know what it is, and I don't want to push her."

"Oh man, Jane that's awful. Have you two talked about it?"

"Well, yes and no. I mean, we had this discussion about asari mating rituals and the importance of choosing a partner carefully, but I'm not really sure what she was trying to say to me."

"Have you brought it up since?"

"No, we have been too busy with training and I am just not positive on how to approach it with her." Jane thought about the visions that transferred to her the other day, and the… Other vision… she'd had.

_I don't think Danger would understand. I don't even understand. I'd better keep that to myself for now. _

"Well, just don't wait too long, Jane. You never know when someone else is going to step in and take over." A shadow crossed her face as she thought of the asari Commando who was surely taking advantage of her absence.

"Listen Darla, you are supposed to be forgetting about that. Now come on, we need to go get ready for these biotics!"

"Right! I'll go catch up with Garrus and Tali."

Jane stood there and watched her friend leave.

_She's right though. I won't be able to wait for Liara forever. One of us will have to make a move, and soon. I don't want to end up like Danger and Terriana. But, I don't want to push her too hard, either. I can't bear the thought of losing her just because I was a little too impatient…_

Jane sighed one final time, and then followed her friend out the door. It was time to have a little bit of fun. She could deal with the Liara situation later.

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: LC1 (Blue Team)<strong>

"Wow, this place is even more of a hole than the first time we were in here, Jane. Check this out – the building still has the outline of my rover!"

"Yea and it's going to be even harder to defend now. Tali blew a hole in the wall over there when we were invading, and this part is crumbling." Jane indicated the break in the wall where Garrus had climbed and skillfully dispatched Chief Williams with his sniper rifle.

"Hmm. Yep the place is falling apart. You'd think the Alliance could spring for some new walls or something. But then again, they are just cheap bastards. What do you think, Tali?" Danger turned to the quarian who had been fiddling with her Omni-tool.

"What, what do I think?" Tali was a little surprised that the human had asked her opinion. "I. Well I do regret using the explosives in the first round. Hindsight is 20/20."

Danger nodded. "That it certainly is…"

"Danger, would you stop it? You will have plenty of time to be miserable _after _we win this game."

"Right, Jane. So, what's the plan?"

All eyes went to Garrus, who had just been sitting quietly, looking around at the base.

"Splitting up her team is what lost Chief Williams the battle yesterday. It seems that scattering for an attack makes sense, but for defending, it leaves individual soldiers too vulnerable. Danger, what sorts of tricks can we expect from the biotics?"

"You're asking me? I barely know how to control it myself. I was fitted for the implant when I was a teen, but I had no interest in it. I'm more interested in cars and code. Sure I try to make use of it, and sometimes I get lucky, but I don't really know anything about it other than it's kinda blue and bouncy."

"Well, I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens then. I think that we should all stick together though. We'll have a better chance of managing whatever they throw at us. We know better than they do what the Mako is capable of, so they won't be able to catch us off guard with that, at least."

"Ok, you're the boss," Danger said.

"Hmm, we should at least split into two teams, Garrus. You and I can take the far side of the wall and Danger and Tali can take that side."

"Ok, Commander, that's a good idea." He turned to the human and quarian. "You two head on over there and be ready for anything."

Danger did her best impression of an Alliance salute, and walked off to the corner of the wall with Tali, who immediately started asking her questions about her AI code and poking at her Omni-tool.

"Actually, that might not have been the best move. Williams and her team could drop a nuke on us and those two would be too busy looking at numbers to notice."

Jane Shepard just watched the two walk away thoughtfully. "Yea… You know it's really too bad that Tali isn't… Well never mind. Let's get to our post and I will signal Joker."

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: Outside LC1 (Red Team)<strong>

Gunnery Chief Williams looked at her team and smiled.

"We lost yesterday, but now we have a chance to deal out a little payback. Since we control the offensive, we control the pace. Last time we couldn't make much use of the biotic talent on the team, because they controlled the battlefield and kept us in motion. This time, things will be different."

"Maybe," Liara said. "But they also had the element of surprise with the Mako. They know how it works better than we do."

"That's true. I wonder how this thing _does_ work, anyway." Chief Williams opened the door and leaned in to look at the AI. "Hey you, computer thingy. How do you work?"

"Accessing: Voice Verification Complete. Good Morning Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. I have a message for you from Operative Danger."

"A message for me? Ok, what?"

"The message is: Jane Shepard has cooties."

"Are you serious? That's the message?" She looked at Kaidan. "That woman is at least forty, right LT?"

Alenko shrugged.

Chief Williams stood back up and shut the door. "Well. We can worry about the Mako later. First we need to figure out how we are going to access that compound."

She looked around at the area they were dropped in. There wasn't much there but metal debris and other junk. There were some trees surrounding the compound, but not nearly enough to give adequate cover.

_Unless you aren't paying attention…_

She mentally berated herself for letting her guard down during the last game. It was her fault the team fell apart, and her fault that Shepard had gotten into the compound unseen. She had to somehow make up for it. She knew that the commander didn't think less of her because of it, but she still wanted to impress the woman.

"Does anyone have any ideas?" she asked her team.

Wrex was sitting on a log, just staring at the road.

Alenko was rubbing his temple, clearly trying to fight off another headache.

Liara was lazily levitating small pieces of metal and moving them to other locations.

_Well, I guess that would be a no. _

Gunnery Chief Williams leaned against the Mako, and watched her team thoughtfully.

_I might as well ask the computer. _

She opened the Mako door and looked at the holographic depiction of Danger. "Hey, computer. Do you have any ideas?"

"Chief Williams, my name is DIDI. I am not allowed to offer counsel to either team. Commander Shepard has expressly forbidden it."

The Chief leaned back up and started to shut the door.

"However, I might make one small suggestion…"

"I thought you were forbidden."

"I am, but Danger has been using non synthetic oil in my sister unit on Earth. I'm not happy."

"You're a computer…"

"We still deserve the best."

"Right… Well what is your suggestion anyway?"

"Once you have a strong foundation, you can go as high as you need to. I can enhance many talents."

Chief Williams just shook her head. How did Danger program the car to talk in riddles? "Yea, ok. Thanks DIDI." She started to shut the door again.

"One more thing."

"Yes?"

"Jane Shepard still has cooties."

Ashley slammed the door and rolled her eyes. Leaning back up against the Mako again, she silently cursed out the commander for bringing her friend along. The woman was clearly going through a second childhood.

Calming herself, she watched Liara lazily stacking her metal pieces, not paying attention to anything else going on around her. One after the other, one after the other, one after the other. It was hypnotic.

_I guess I can see what the commander appreciates about her. She's quietly brilliant, and she doesn't belong in a place like this. She's not at home with soldiers like us. Maybe that's what she does for Shep, helps her forget the blood on her hands. And there is a lot of blood, on all of our hands. I wonder if she even understands and appreciates the danger, and what the commander and I have to do._

She stood there and kept watching, but the asari was oblivious to everything, just stacking her metal pieces on one side and then the other.

_One side, and then the other… One side… and then…_

"Oh shit…" She whispered softly.

"Listen everyone, this is a long shot, but is it possible for the three of you to…"

Gunnery Chief Williams laid out her plan, and the biotics all started nodding and looking at each other thoughtfully.

Opening the car door, she addressed DIDI, "I'll need something from you as well. And yes, I know the commander has cooties." Slamming the door again, she grinned at her team.

"This game is going to be ours. Start gathering what we need."

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: LC1 (Blue Team)<strong>

"Ok, now you see how this works? Very efficient, right?" Danger was showing something to Tali on her Omni-tool as the quarian watched in rapt fascination.

"Right, it's very efficient."

"Ok, now let's switch over to the assembly. Watch what happens when you flip this bit…"

Tali's eyes widened behind her mask as Danger's program restarted, and started crunching out data at nearly double the rate as before.

"See Tali, we have gotten so fascinated with high level language we have forgotten how to talk to the machines on their own level. That's your problem with the Geth. You gave them too much control over their systems at the machine level, and tried to manage it at too high of a layer."

Tali nodded. "Thank you for showing this to me. May I have a copy of this program?"

"Sure, here download it. Remember, efficiency starts at the machine level. You can eliminate the need for a load of redundant loops this way. It may be harder to maintain, but it's safer."

"Where did you learn all this stuff?"

Danger sat down on some nearby rubble. "Well, my line of work affords me a lot of time to tinker. I like to create things. Of course, I've never made anything quite as sophisticated as what your people have, but I'm proud of my work nonetheless."

"It is very good work. These programs will give us great insight into the Geth and perhaps how to take back our home world."

"Yea, that's really terrible, Tali. Being driven off your own world like that. I wish there was something I could do."

"You already have. I am on my pilgrimage gathering data to help us against the Geth, and every last bit of knowledge brings us one step closer to regaining our world."

"Well, then. I'm glad to have been of some assistance."

_At least someone appreciates me…_

"What's it like, being on the run like that?"

Tali leaned against the wall and looked at the sky. "You cannot imagine how difficult it is. No matter what, you always have a place to go back to. There is a world filled with people who look like you, and you get to reach out and touch them at any time. I don't even know what my own skin feels like. I've never been out of this suit. When I cry, I cannot even wipe away the tears."

Danger regarded the quarian thoughtfully. "It sounds awful, Tali. I won't pretend to know what you are going through, but if there's anything I can do, just let me know."

Tali smiled a quiet smile behind her mask. "You can just keep an uplink to my Omni-tool and pass along any further brilliant code you come up with."

"You got it. Hey… Wow... Do you see that? What in the hell _is _that?" Danger stood suddenly, unsure whether or not her eyes were playing tricks on her.

"Hey Jane?" She shouted, indicating a point just beyond the wall. "What in the hell do you suppose _that_ is?"

Jane, Garrus and Tali looked up, and Jane let out a low whistle.

"Holy shit, Williams has gone insane."

Danger looked at her pistol. "Jane, I don't think these are going to help much against that monstrosity…"

Jane Shepard shook her head. "We had better get the hell out of its way! Scatter!"


	21. Chapter 20: Games of love and war pt IV

**Chapter 20: Games of love and war part IV**

**-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: Approaching LC1 (Red Team)**

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams smiled down at her team, beaming with pride. They had pulled together and accomplished what seemed the impossible. It was a magnificent sight. It reminded her of skyscrapers on the Citadel, albeit on a much smaller scale. Acting in unison, they were able to erect a structure that resembled a moving fortress. Her three biotics had managed to stack on top of each other, Wrex on the bottom, Kaidan in the middle, and Liara on top, with a tiny vantage point for Ashley at the pinnacle. They accomplished it by centering their biotic energies on the amp that Garrus had installed in the Mako to form a foundation. Wrex and Kaidan kept the platforms stable, and Liara kept spinning discs surrounding them to deflect incoming projectiles.

She just hoped that they would be able to hold it together long enough for her to take out blue team. The Mako's AI boosted their abilities, but she didn't trust the treacherous computer. If the thing could be angry enough to disobey a directive over a type of oil, who knows what it would do if something big pissed it off...

Slowly, the Mako advanced on the compound and Ash carefully watched from her vantage point, looking for an open shot. As they approached the entrance, DIDI skillfully maneuvered around fallen debris and decided to approach along the east side, where the previous day Tali had blown a rather large opening. Ashley chuckled a little as she saw the expression on her commanding officer's face, just before she broke into a run to the other side of the fortress.

"I got you now, Commander," she whispered as she leveled her sniper rifle and tapped her foot twice, the signal for Liara to stop spinning the topmost discs.

"Shepard Disabled."

_Who next? Ah, the two year old herself. That will be perfect. _

She took aim, and fired.

"Vance Disabled."

_We need to get into a better position. _

She tapped her foot twice again to indicate to Liara to resume spinning the discs, but as the asari started focusing her biotics in a funnel again, she lost control and couldn't keep the spin within the field. Two of the discs shot straight out towards the compound.

_Uh oh, that's not good. _

Ashley lunged to her right and dropped to the level Liara was on.

"I'm sorry Chief Williams. This is very, very taxing."

"No it's ok, T'Soni. You did great. We took out their two top players. I just hope they get out of the way of those discs in time..."

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams leaned on her sniper rifle and rubbed her temple as she watched the spinning discs head straight for Jane Shepard's head...

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: LC1 (Blue Team)<strong>

"Shepard Disabled."

"Vance Disabled."

"Damn it. They really caught us off guard with that one." Jane Shepard smiled. She didn't like losing, but she had to admit that a moving, three story high biotic fortress on top of the Mako was the last thing she had expected from Ashley Williams. "You really outdid yourself, gunny." All four of them came to a stop just on the far side of the compound.

"Jane?"

"Yea Danger?"

"I think your girl just lost control."

Jane looked back at the fortress, only to see two massive metal discs flying towards them. "Shit, everyone get out of the way!" She grasped at the platinum winds and pushed Garrus into Tali and Danger with all her strength. Danger grabbed the quarian around the waist with one arm and held onto Garrus' collar with the other as the three of them were tossed across the compound. They tumbled down into a storage cellar and landed in an unceremonious heap at the bottom.

"Ow, damn it. Are you ok, Tali? What in the hell was that?"

"Yes, I think so. Yes. No tears. Thank you."

Danger stood up, and then offered her hand to the quarian. "Get up Garrus, there's probably spiders down here. Creepy."

They walked back up the stairs and looked around for the moving fortress, but Ash must have retreated. "Jane?" Danger looked around, and spotted her friend lying in a pile of rubble. "Damn it, Jane. Why are you always the hero? Someone get me some medigel or... something." Danger ran to the commander and dropped to her knees beside the woman. She ripped off her sleeve and wiped at the blood covering her friend's forehead. "Damn it Jane, why do you always have to be the god damned hero?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Visions<strong>_

"_What would you like to name her?" she asks me._

_I smile. We have had this conversation at least seven times now, and it always ends up the same. "I wish to name her after you, my love."_

"_No, we must name her after you." She is smiling as well. She also knows this conversation will end up in the same place as all the times before. _

_She has grown heavy now, and the time is near. I cannot wait for our child to be born. I have already prepared the room, and have scheduled the finest available tutors so that she may learn all of the beauty and wonder of this world. Her mother wishes her to become a fine scholar and not choose the life of a Commando. I do not blame her. The life of a Commando is dangerous, and lonely. I want our child to choose a brighter path as well. _

"_We cannot name her after me. There are already far too many in my family."_

_I sense her smiling again, and I wrap her more tightly in my arms. Words cannot express the joy that I feel in this moment, with her. Sometimes I still cannot believe that this has truly happened to me, that this woman actually selected my legacy instead of all of the other magnificent offers she has had over the years. It is truly an inspiration. _

_She nestles closer and closes her eyes. "I don't care about them. I wanted this child with you, and no other." _

_She can read my mind. I haven't been able to keep a secret from her since the night we conceived our daughter. It is the most extraordinary thing, my link with this woman. This is the sort of love that comes but once in a millennia._

"_Stop reading my mind, my love," I whisper with a smile. She just wiggles against me, and I close my eyes and try to hold in the laughter. It doesn't seem possible that just under a year ago, I was terrified she might find out about my love for her and disappear from my world forever. This has been the happiest time of my life, and I look forward to spending the rest of my days with her, raising our child. _

_I sense something change in the air. She is upset. _

"_Must you go on this trip? It is nearly time. I want you here."_

_I know she is growing tired of my absences, and she is right to. When she became pregnant, she gave up the life of a Commando, opting instead to teach, and I should have given up my life of traveling as well. We are both nearing our matriarchal years, and it is time to slow down and enjoy our family. It's a difficult thing to do though, to break the habit of a lifetime. Without my traveling, without my discoveries, without my writings, would this woman have fallen in love with me? Would she now be bearing my legacy? Or would she be lying in the arms of Jennestia, having never noticed that a quiet poet watched and loved her from afar?_

_She is stirring, turning to look at me. "Why must you torture yourself so?"_

_I know what she is asking. She can see so deeply into my mind it sometimes frightens me. "I do not know why. All artists must subject themselves to some degree of torture, I fear." I try to make light of the situation, but she isn't letting me off the hook. _

"_I love you, and I have always loved you. And now, you have given me that which I have wanted most for my entire life. You have given me more than Jennestia ever could have. Please, my love. Don't go on this trip. Stay here with me."_

_The look in her eyes breaks my heart. I want to tell her that I will stay, that I will forego this trip and remain on this planet, but I cannot lie to her. I must make this one last flight, for there is something special I need to recover for my new daughter. I feel certain she will have need of it, far into the future. I take her hands in mine. _

"_My love, I must go. But this trip will be my shortest ever. I will return to you, and I will be there as you give birth to our child, and we will begin the rest of our lives in joy. I will never leave your side again."_

_I sense that she is not entirely satisfied with my answer, but she turns back over and settles against me. I curl my arm protectively across her belly as I did that very first night, and sleep overcomes us._

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: LC1 (Blue Team)<strong>

"Should I slap her?"

"What good will that do?"

Danger looked at Tali with a mischievous grin. "Probably none, but I wouldn't be able to get away with slapping her if she were awake."

Tali chuckled, and dispensed some medigel onto the commander's head, punching a few codes into her Omni-tool. "I think we had better just fix this wound before Chief Williams and the biotic brigade return."

"Right. Well, it was just a thought anyway. Garrus, looks like it's just you and Tali now, and you are outnumbered. I'll hang with Jane over here and try not to let her get hit with any more of her girlfriend's spinning discs." Danger dragged her friend to the wall and sat with her back up against it, cradling the commander's head.

"Ok, so what are we going to do, Garrus?"

"I'm not really sure. I'm not even sure where they went, and it's still all four of them. Five, if you count DIDI."

"Maybe we should hide?" Tali suggested.

"We could, but if we are in hiding then they will have won anyway. They just need to control the base and have more soldiers. Right now we are just lucky they didn't come inside. I'm guessing their little issue with the discs disoriented them as much as it did us. I don't think they meant that to happen."

"No I'm sure they didn't. Liara wouldn't have tried to hurt the Commander; that much we know."

"Ok, hang here, I'm going to go climb the tower and see if I can spot them." Garrus grabbed his sniper rifle, and headed towards the tower. Tali looked over at Danger and Shepard, and then backed into the shadows.

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: Outside LC1 (Red Team)<strong>

"It looks like they are ok. Shepard took a blow to the head, but her friend is taking care of her."

"Chief, I feel terrible about this." Liara sounded agonized, but Williams laid a reassuring hand on the asari's shoulder.

"T'Soni, they are fine. There will be plenty of time for you to make it up to the commander after the game."

Liara blushed and looked away. She knew the Chief wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable, but the comment had hit a little too close to home.

_I _should_ make it up to her. I hope she is ok. I should have spent more time training and less time researching. Then I wouldn't make silly mistakes like this. Chief Williams counted on me because of the natural advantage asari have with biotic training, and all I did was make a fool of myself and nearly kill Jane._

"All right team, let's break this fortress down. I know everyone is getting tired. We don't have the advantage of surprise anymore, but we did cut their team in half. Stack those discs up over there and let's discuss plan B."

Liara and Williams climbed down from their platform, followed by Kaidan. When they were clear, Wrex moved out and they all stopped their biotic charges, allowing the metal plates to fall to the ground.

"All right, we are going to have to come up with a new plan. We are already close to the entrance, so we don't have to worry about trying to cross terrain unseen. I'm betting that either Tali or Garrus are headed up to that tower. Garrus most likely, since he can use a sniper rifle." She looked toward the tower, but couldn't see anything clearly. If he was there, he was keeping low.

_Where is Tali? Would Garrus take her with him…? No, he would go alone and leave her in the shadows. _

"T'Soni."

"Yes Chief?"

"Do you think you could do that trick with the flying discs again, but this time keep them under a little more control?"

Liara considered for a moment. "I think so. What did you have in mind?"

"I want to know if Garrus is in that tower. Send one of those discs up, with the silver side facing us. We might be able to catch a reflection."

Liara nodded and closed her eyes, focusing her power. She picked up one of the discs, and slowly sent it flying in a circle around the tower. Garrus started shooting at it.

"I guess that's my answer. He's in there. The question now is, how are we going to get him out? All right, we need a moving wall. Stack up these discs in front of us, and we are going to try to brute force our way through there."

Her team nodded, and Liara brought her disc back and set it in place among the others that Wrex and Kaidan were now controlling. They formed a neat barrier between the team and the fortress.

"All right, you three slowly move forward, and get yourselves right onto that hole in the wall. If you get a shot at one of them, take it. Let's move."

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: LC1 (Blue Team)<strong>

Garrus watched through his scope as Liara levitated a metal disc and sent it flying over his tower.

_What the hell are they doing now? _

He fired a few rounds off at the disc, more out of frustration than anything else, and then settled his gun back on the broken brick toward red team.

_Just out of range. Come on Williams, move just a little clos… Oh __**now**__ what are they doing?_

He watched as they erected a wall and started to move forward.

_You have got to be kidding me. There ought to be some kind of law against these biotics in war games. _

He punched a few buttons on his Omni-tool and waited. He looked at the response, and then shook his head. He punched a few more buttons, and waited again. This time he looked behind him, and noticed that Tali had come out of the shadows and was giving him a rather obscene hand gesture. He chuckled and looked back at the advancing wall.

_Well, I have to hand it to her. The Chief does know how to make use of their abilities. _

He settled back into his position, and followed the wall, waiting for an opening. He didn't get his opening though, as they stopped just at the edge of the compound and there was no obvious break in the barricade.

_Now what are they up to? Maybe I should fire off a few rounds, just to annoy them. _

He settled his back against the brick behind him, and started firing.

_If nothing else, it might weaken their biotic hold on those discs. I hope Tali doesn't do anything foolish…_

…

Tali looked over at Danger again, and saw that the commander seemed to be coming around. Danger gave her the thumbs up sign, and Tali sighed in relief. She had been extremely worried that the blow to the head had seriously injured Shepard.

_I can't stay in these shadows. Maybe if I climb up this wall I will be able to see a little better. It looks like Garrus is keeping them busy anyway. _

She scaled the wall easily, and took cover behind a column. Garrus was still lazily firing, and Tali guessed he was just trying to wear them down. She settled in for what was surely about to be the war of the wills.

* * *

><p><strong>-Earth, Alliance Training Ground Location: Outside LC1 (Red Team)<strong>

"Chief Williams, I have an idea."

"What is it T'Soni?"

"Come over here a second. Watch what is happening when Garrus fires on the shielding."

Gunnery Chief Williams walked over to the edge, and looked where Liara had been indicating. She nodded in understanding. "I see where you are going with this, but that will be an incredibly hard shot to make. Can you hold the disc in place long enough?"

"It is our only chance of winning this game. I will have to try."

"All right. Send it up. Everyone move to the right."

The team all moved one segment to the right, and Liara let go of her disc. It fell to the ground, and she immediately refocused her energies as Williams prepared her sniper rifle. The disc sailed gracefully in an arc over the tower, and Williams took aim and fired.

"Vakarian Disabled."

"YES! Excellent job T'Soni!" She clasped the asari on the shoulder. Just then, she heard what sounded like another disc hitting the ground. Alenko was on his knees, clutching his head.

"Damn it, Kaidan are you ok?"

"Alenko Disabled."

She grabbed the soldier and dragged him behind the wall just as Tali dispatched him from her hidden vantage point on the far side of the compound. "Wrex, just get back here. Drop that shield. Kaidan, are you ok?"

"My head… I'm just straining too hard, I think. It will pass."

"Shit. Well, just sit here and rest. T'Soni, can you see Tali from here?"

"No, she's hidden behind something," Liara replied, peeking around the wall.

"Well, it's one against three now. She should be easy to take out. You two get that shield back up and start advancing. I am going to pull a page out of Shepard's playbook, and use the Mako. Hey computer – get over here!"

"Gunnery Chief Williams, my name is DIDI. Would you like it if I referred to you as 'hey, rude and obnoxious organic life form?'"

"Just get me to the other side of that compound," she said as she jumped in the back of the vehicle and laid down in the seat, adjusting her assault rifle. The vehicle sped off, and Ashley Williams watched carefully through the glass to see which threat Tali would focus on…

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Comm room<strong>

Jane Shepard looked at the crew. She had to admit, she was impressed with them. They were starting to work together as a team, and the ideas they were coming up with were nothing short of miraculous. She didn't even mind the bruise on her head. It wasn't like she hadn't suffered worse battle scars in her lifetime. Hell, she suffered more pain in the nightmares. This was definitely worth it.

"So, what did we learn at today's game?"

"Pooling together talents can often make the impossible, possible," said Liara.

"Pooling together talents can often give you a headache," replied Kaidan, grinning at Liara.

"That you can learn more by following sometimes than leading," said Wrex, thinking about the way Ashley Williams handled the use of the biotics today. He hadn't said much during the game, but he had watched everything and continued to be impressed by the capabilities of humans.

"That biotics suck," said Garrus, remembering the ricocheting bullet that took him out.

"That Danger is 12," replied Williams with a mischievous grin.

"Hey! I am not!"

"I learned that friendships can be the most valuable asset on the battlefield," said Tali quietly, thinking about how Danger had grabbed hold of her to make sure she didn't tear her suit, and later tended to Shepard's wounds.

Jane Shepard just nodded. "Good, good. This is better than I could have ever hoped. Listen, everyone go get some rest. We are going to take tomorrow off, and then maybe switch up the games a little bit. We'll change up the teams and select a new location for the tiebreaker. Dismissed."

Everyone got up to leave except Danger and Liara. Jane sat in a seat across from them and grinned.

"You two want to go get a few drinks?"

"You sure you are up to it, Jane? You took a pretty bad hit." Danger turned her head and looked at Jane skeptically.

Jane just waved her off. "I'm fine, Danger. Tali patched me up and checked for a concussion. I'm good to go."

"All right then!" Danger turned to the asari. "Come on Liara, it will be so much fun. I'll be able to give you all the dirt on Jane this time, now that I don't have to behave in front of…" She stopped suddenly, and shook her head. "Now that I don't have to behave. It will be just like old times, except, not really, anything like it. At all." She scrunched her nose and shook her head. "I'm going to go get cleaned up. I'll see you guys in a bit."

Jane cocked her head to the side and adjusted her earbud. "Joker, take us to the Citadel. We're taking a short leave."

"You got it, Commander."

Jane stood and held her hand out to Liara. "Come on, I'll escort you to your room." Liara took Jane's hand and smiled as they walked out of the comm room.


	22. Chapter 21: You're not alone

**Chapter 21: You're not alone**

* * *

><p><strong>-Heavens, undisclosed location<strong>

_He sat back in his chair, muscular arms crossed, and quietly watched her from across the play board. Her eyes were quickly darting from piece to piece, calculating, measuring... contemplating. She was trying to force something to occur, and he had learned long ago that some things either just happened, or they didn't. No amount of meddling would result in the desired outcome, and in fact, interference at all might cause more problems than could be solved. _

_"You cannot make this happen, my friend. Do you not see that my Champion is already taken with the daughter you wished to hold back?"_

_She didn't answer right away. She was scanning the board, looking for opportunities she may have missed. All she needed to do was get his Champion close to the one she wanted once more. It would just take once more, now that the other human was out of the picture. She had to make this happen with his Chosen. The figurine representing his child had only been speckled with platinum when she was first placed on the board, but now she was nearly entirely covered with silver. Palladium had not lied to her; this child was special. His Trials were not for the faint of heart, and this particular soul was making quick work of them._

_"There is nothing in the Book of Ages that says we cannot take an active role such as this. I am perfectly within my rights." She started advancing various pieces from her side into the miniature model of the Citadel. _

_"No, there is nothing in the Book of Ages to prevent us from meddling, but you cannot force them to take this path." He leaned forward and rested his massive arms on his knees. "You cannot force the heart to make a choice that is unnatural to it..."_

_She stopped what she was doing and looked up at him. She had noticed the pain in his voice, and understood. _

_"Palladium, it is ancient history. You really need to get over it." Her words were harsh, but her tone gentle. She did not wish to cause him any more pain. He was a good friend, and despite her lack of interest in him as a consort, she enjoyed his company and did not wish to reopen old wounds. _

_He waved a hand dismissively and sat back again. "I am over it, Athame. I merely use it as an example, to illustrate the simple fact that you cannot force this pairing. You need to let it go, and select someone else for your chosen daughter. I will not meddle in my Champion's choices. I already ask enough sacrifice of her. If this bond to the young one gives her what small peace and happiness can be found in these dark times, I do not begrudge it of her."_

_"You are too complacent. We know what is best for them."_

_"Best for them? Or best for you?"_

_She looked back down at the board, and adjusted an extraordinarily beautiful piece that sat in a private chamber on the Citadel. That piece would have a significant role to play in her plan to turn his Champion away from her demon. Perhaps once the human learned of the child's lineage, she would think twice about walking that path._

_"This bloodline cannot be diluted by just any rabble, Palladium. I cannot allow that... that... _mechanic_..." she spit out the word, "to court one such as this. It is disgraceful."_

_He very nearly rolled his eyes, but controlled the response. She was being ridiculous, but there was no talking to her when she was like this. All he could do was allow her to make her moves on the play board, and hope that it didn't get anyone killed. After a time, she sat back in her chair, and he made a few subtle movements of his own. He reached to his left, and picked up a jet black piece that bore a bandanna covering one side of his face, and placed it on the Citadel. He hoped that this piece would be able to counter whatever she had planned, but now it was out of his hands. _

_He smiled at her from across the board. It was time to change the subject, and he knew that she had a soft spot for kindly folk who performed great deeds but were seldom rewarded._

_"So, do you have any daughters that _would_ be interested in courting with 'rabble'? I have one child that has been particularly lonely, and has spent most of her life doing many charitable works. It is time she was rewarded for it, don't you think?"_

_He reached to his left once more, and placed a figurine of a dark-skinned older woman with a kindly face toward the center. He leaned back again, and nodded to himself in satisfaction as she considered the figure, quickly sorting through the human's history. After a time, she was satisfied, and looked to the right of the play board, where some of her daughters were settled in a group together. _

_"I have one soul that would be perfect." She removed a figurine that was approaching her matriarchal years and placed it next to his, toward the center. She knew he was just trying to distract her, but he was also right in that the human he had brought forth was deserving of a little company. Besides, she had already set in motion her other plans, and it was time for a little fun. "Now, how will we get them together?"_

_He reached below the table to remove the Book of Ages. He opened the ancient tome, and she once more took her place on the arm of his chair as they quietly read and selected a scenario with which to create an opportunity for their latest experiment._

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, The Flux<strong>

"Ah, I have missed this place, Jane. It's been far too long since I have been out to have any fun."

Jane Shepard looked at her friend, and nodded. She knew that it was just a front, but she wasn't going to call Danger out on it. If the mercenary wanted to pretend everything was all right and it was just another day, then so be it. She signaled an attractive waitress and led her friends to a nearby booth.

"I'll take one of everything," Danger declared.

"She's kidding. Let's have some menus, thanks."

"We should have gone to the den. They have strippers there."

"Since when are you into strippers, Danger? Especially asari ones?"

"Oh, forever."

"Right…"

Liara just shook her head and turned to Jane. "So, what is all this dirt that I am about to hear of?"

"What? No she wasn't serious. She was just being an ass."

"Like hell I was! Now, this may be hard to believe, but Jane wasn't always such a badass. She was the scrawniest little thing you could imagine. She stood up to about here," Danger stood and indicated just below her chest, "and she would do nothing but run all day long. It was quite a sight." She sat down again, and grinned at Jane.

Jane looked a little embarrassed, but Liara was smiling. "Somehow I can't imagine her as a scrawny kid."

"Oh you don't have to imagine it, here check this out. I have proof! Now these were taken on Earth just after I got her out of tenth street and into my division." Danger moved over to Liara and tried to show her some images on her Omni-tool, but Jane was too fast and pushed her out of her seat.

"Hey! I told you to get rid of those. That's just not even cool, Darla."

"Ha! Don't worry I got rid of them. I just wanted to see what you would do. Don't be embarrassed. You were a cute kid, and you are all grown up now." Danger wiped away an imaginary tear. "Our little girl done grew up and left the nest. I'm so proud…" Just then, the waitress returned with the menus and set a greenish drink in front of Danger. She indicated a young asari at the end of the bar. "Compliments of the lady."

Danger got back in her seat, and raised her glass to the woman. "That's what I'm talkin about! Liara, Jane, it's been a pleasure, but something tells me that the two of you could use some alone time, and I wouldn't mind spending some of _my_ time with that magnificent creature. I'll see you two later."

Danger got up, saluted Jane, and headed towards the dark skinned alien.

"Jane, are you sure that's a good idea?"

Jane watched her friend walk away and saw the woman sit down to talk with the asari. "I think she will be fine. She's just acting out, but I know Danger. She's loyal to a fault. She won't do anything stupid until she's sure Terriana has moved on. Look – she is barely close enough to hear that girl. That's not going anywhere. Danger talks tough, but it's pretty obvious her heart belongs to someone."

"Well, we should keep an eye on her anyway. Something has shifted in her aura. It is like a barrier that has gone up. I sense she is still in a lot of pain, but she's pushing it aside. After a few drinks, she might just forget herself and make a mistake."

Jane nodded. "Well, we can make sure she stays out of trouble. We have a few hours yet before we need to deal with anything like that. Let's not spend the entire evening talking about Danger. It's bad enough we need to babysit her."

Liara smiled and reached over the table to catch Jane's hands. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Well, you could tell me more about what got you into learning about history and ancient civilizations."

"Jane that is such a boring topic. I do not want to spend the entire evening putting you to sleep."

"I like talking with you, Liara. No matter what the subject."

Liara smiled. "You are too sweet and very patient with me. Thank you."

Jane shrugged. "Liara, I just want to make the right decisions, and make sure that everyone is ready when the time comes to confront Saren. All of this, you, me, whatever this is turning into, won't mean anything if this mission fails. I know that better than anyone. For now, let's just enjoy the time we have together."

"Yes, of course. To be honest, I do not really even know where to begin. As you know, my mother raised me by herself. I do not know who she chose as her partner, but I have always had fantasies about who she is. It seems strange that I am so interested in the past and the Protheans, and my mother is completely the opposite. I must have inherited the traits from my second parent, although conventional asari wisdom would hold that we do not inherit much from the 'father'. I sometimes wonder, though, what she was like. Was she interested in history as well? Was she some sort of scholar or professor? Maybe she was an archaeologist, like me. Maybe that's why it amused Benezia when I left."

"It sounds like you have given it a lot of thought."

"Well, as much thought as can be considered healthy. I do not really want to get caught up in too many theories. I could spend my entire life wondering, and never find out the truth, especially now that my mother is gone."

Jane felt a slight stab at her heart. Every time Liara brought up her mother, Jane felt guilty about what had happened. Though she knew there had been no other choice, it didn't stop her from feeling responsible for crushing Liara's dreams. Who knows what might have happened with the two after another hundred years had passed and Liara got the rebellion out of her system?

"Why didn't you ask Terriana? It seemed that you were considering it, but then didn't."

Liara sighed. "I did not want to put the matriarch in that position. Perhaps Benezia had sworn her followers to secrecy. Perhaps they have remained silent out of respect. It is impossible to know. As much as I want to find out who she was, it is more important to respect my mother's legacy."

Jane nodded thoughtfully. "It still seems a shame. I don't believe for a second that she didn't want you, or want to meet you."

Liara squeezed Jane's hands. "Thank you. You always seem to know what to say."

"Not really. In fact, lately I have felt like a bit of an idiot."

"Why do you say that?"

"Look at all that is happening. Danger is a mess," she looked over to where the mercenary was sitting and noticed that the pile of empties to the woman's left was starting to add up. "Trying to hold a non-military crew together is an exercise in frustration, and I get absolutely no backup from the council. I feel like the entire universe is out to get me."

"Don't think like that, Jane. Your crew is loyal to you, and I know that we are starting to get better at working together now that we have been getting trained by you and Chief Williams."

"Maybe, but it still feels like it won't be enough. We barely have months, and it usually takes years to train soldiers to be effective in war."

"Have you seen many wars?"

"Just Elysium, the one you read about. But believe me when I say Liara, one is quite enough and more than anyone should have to see in their lifetime."

Liara nodded. "I guess that is true. But this is different, is it not?"

"Well… It feels the same as before. It's a sort of slow procession into the future. You walk around knowing that doom is just around the corner, and you don't have a choice but to continue. You feel like if you stop moving your feet for even just a moment, you will never be able to start them again. No, Liara, this isn't much different at all. There's just more at stake this time."

"You make it sound so dangerous."

Jane leaned back, breaking the contact. "It _is_ dangerous, Liara. And I wish more than anything that you weren't caught up in all of it. But I can promise you two things. One, I'll always look this good. And two, I'll find a way to beat him. I accepted this job for a reason, and now," she leaned forward again and gripped Liara's hands tightly. "Now I have even more of a reason to win."

Liara smiled and squeezed the commander's hands, then leaned back as the waitress brought them their order. "This looks wonderful."

"It sure does, and I am starving. These war games really take a lot out of you."

"Well, you did also get hit in the head by… I am so sorry about that Jane. Sometimes it feels like I just cannot control my own thoughts or movements. Sometimes it feels like I am just not in control of anything."

"It's all right, Liara. Don't worry about it. I have taken worse beatings than that and lived to tell about it. Tali is a halfway decent healer. I didn't even need to go see Dr. Chakwas."

"You should have, though."

"Well, maybe I will stop by there tomorrow then. For now, let's just enjoy the meal and our time off the ship."

Liara smiled, and they ate and talked for the next several hours.

_I'm so relaxed in her presence. I wonder if all asari have that effect on others, or if it's just her. I can't even believe that she is interested in me. _

Jane thought about the last vision she'd had.

_I know exactly how you feel, whoever you are. It's impossible to think that this woman actually is interested in plain old Jane Shepard. I've got nothing to offer her, no brilliant interpretations of literature, no insight into history and events, no deep thoughts to speak of. I'm not even that good looking. I am just as plain a soldier as they come, and yet, here she is with me. It's unbelievable._

Jane smiled at her inner thoughts, and could sense that Liara was curious about what she was thinking, but some things are just better kept to oneself.

"This has been great, just great, Liara."

"I agree. I've not had this much fun in a very long time. But… do you remember your comment a few hours ago?"

"Hmm…?" Jane tried to remember. "No, I'm not sure what you are talking about."

Liara leaned her elbow on the table, rested her cheek in her palm, smiled at the commander, and gestured to the dance floor with her other hand.

Jane looked over to see her friend, clothing barely hanging on by a thread, surrounded by asari.

"Oh hell, Danger what are you doing?"

It was a comical sight. The human was holding a drink above her head in one hand, and was trying to make her way through the dance floor to rub against every asari in the place.

"I think that the time has come to intervene, Jane."

"Right. Let me go get her." Jane weaved her way to the dance floor, and grabbed the drink out of Danger's hand. "Come on, buddy. It's time to get you out of here."

"Shhuush, I'm schtaying right here. Look at all thish loverly ladiesh. Can't live without me."

"Yea, I'm sure Danger. Come on." She deposited the drink on a nearby table, wrapped her arm around her taller friend's waist and started dragging her to where Liara was. "Stand down ladies, this one is spoken for. She thinks this makes me jealous, but I just find it funny. Back off, back off."

The asari looked disappointed, but at the sight of the powerful alliance soldier leading the mercenary, they stepped back a few paces. One of them did throw her drink in the general direction of Danger's face, though.

"Grrrsh that washnt' nice." Danger wiped her face with her torn shirt and threw her arm around Jane's neck. "Jane, thish ashari is bitchechech."

"Calm down Danger. Liara, can you help me here?"

Liara rushed to the other side of Danger and pulled the human's arm across her shoulders. "Jane we should have kept a closer eye on her. This is terrible."

"Let's just get her back to the Normandy. She'll feel better in the morning."

"You know what I can't schand, Schepard?"

"What's that, Darla?"

"I can't schtand thosh commanders."

Liara looked at Jane, but Jane shook her head.

"Do you mean Commandos?" Jane asked.

"Yesh, thosh commanders. Schluts, every lascht one of em. Juschticars schould schpend their livesh hunting them down inschtead of… whatever it ish... they do…"

"I know, I know Darla. Listen we are going to get you back to the ship and then you can sleep it off. Everything will look better in the morning."

"shhcnhst."

"Wow, Jane. She's… articulate."

Jane looked across Danger and saw Liara trying to fight back a smile. The asari was right; Danger was hysterical in this state. She felt badly for her friend, but the situation was too comical and she started laughing. Liara looked at her, and soon joined in. Danger looked to Jane, and then Liara, and then back to Jane.

"Ugghhhoooollll thatsch dizzy… move!"

Jane and Liara continued laughing hysterically as Danger broke away from them and emptied her stomach in a nearby street canister. After she was done, she turned around to lean against the guardrail. Jane tried to pick her up, but the mercenary pushed her arm away. "No, leave me here. Right in the schtreets. Maybe schomeone will take pity and hit me."

"Come on, Darla. It's time to get you out of here." She hated to do it, but she didn't have a choice. The woman was too strong and powerful, even in this weakened state, for Jane and Liara to drag back to the ship unless she cooperated… or was knocked out. Jane cocked back her left fist, and punched her friend as hard as she could. Danger's head went limp.

Jane shook out her hand, and then nodded to Liara. "Come on, we need to get her out of here." They each took an arm, and half dragged, half carried the unconscious mercenary back to the ship.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy<strong>

"Whoa, Commander, a threesome! Nice!"

"Joker, I'm not in the mood today."

"All right, all right I was just kidding anyway. Do you need some… Help? I can get Garrus up here."

"No I think we will be fine. Just, keep your comments to yourself and off the comm…"

Joker had the grace to blush, and nodded. "Yea, no problem Commander. Won't happen again."

Jane and Liara brought the tall mercenary to Jane's quarters, and fairly poured her into the bed.

"Gosh, she looks miserable," Jane commented as she covered her friend with blankets. "She's really going to be feeling that tomorrow."

"I'm sure she will." Liara looked at the commander. "Are you going to… Stay in here… with her tonight?"

Jane turned her head to look at the asari. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's really not that late. I'm not really tired. I mean, you could come back to the storage room and talk with me a while longer. Well, that is to say… Danger will be fine… And our conversation was kind of cut short… It would be a shame to end the night now…"

Jane's breathing silently shifted a gear. She wasn't sure exactly what the woman was suggesting, and it frightened her a little.

_It's too soon. Damn it, how does she manage to turn my reasoning into mush with nothing but a few stumbling sentences?_

She looked back at her friend. Liara was right, though. Danger would be fine now; she just needed to sleep it off. There was no reason for Jane to stay in here with her. She turned Danger on her side and dragged her head to the edge of the bed.

_There. At least you won't drown in your own vomit. I'll deal with the mess tomorrow. _

She turned to Liara and nodded. "That's a great idea, Liara. I don't think that I could deal with her snoring, anyway." She smiled what she hoped would be a calming smile to put the young asari at ease, and indicated the door. "Let's get out of here. Maybe we will be lucky and the snoring won't reach your quarters. I can have Dr. Chakwas take a look at my head on the way through."

Liara smiled, and led the way out the door.


	23. Chapter 22: When you're gone

**Chapter 22: When you're gone**

**-Normandy, Sickbay storage areas**

_What was I thinking? _

Liara T'Soni tried to keep her face impassive, but her soul was in turmoil. Tonight had been one of the most enjoyable nights of her life, and she didn't want it to end. Something about sitting across the table from Jane, just talking about everything, had made her feel so at ease that she imagined she and the commander had been lovers for ages, instead of just tiptoeing around the issue like they actually were.

_Why is she so good at hiding her emotions behind those eyes? What is she thinking? Why can't I read her?_

Jane was sitting in a chair across the room, leaning back lazily and smiling at the asari. It looked as if she hadn't a care in the world, and was just waiting for time to catch up to her. Jane Shepard was light years ahead of everybody else, and Liara was painfully aware of the fact that she was lagging a little bit behind.

_She is magnificent. Her eyes hold the secrets of ages. Her mind conquers even the most ancient of telepathy. Her body harbors the strength of kings, sturdy enough to compensate for the weaknesses of her friends. The way her muscles lightly ripple with every movement… She probably doesn't even notice. I notice though. Jane, I am painfully aware of your power. It's tearing me apart. _

"Do you think Danger will be ok?" Liara asked.

"I'm sure she will be fine. She just needs to sleep it off. I've never seen her quite that drunk before, but she is going through a lot."

"What do you think about the whole… situation…?"

"Well… It's hard to say." Jane leaned forward in her chair. "I don't know what is going on with the matriarch, but it seems to me that she's giving Danger the hint that it's time to move on. Danger has it bad though. You should have been there when I got the call. It was all I could do to convince her to just take a vacation. What I really think she should do, is just leave. She won't budge though."

Liara nodded, and then leaned back against the desk her console was situated on. "I don't know. Asari usually don't play games. We tend to be very forward, especially with races that don't have the luxury of time as we do."

_Right, like you are being with Jane right now? _

_It's not the same._

_It's exactly the same. Just because you aren't hiring Commandos to get Jane's attention, doesn't mean you aren't playing a dangerous game with the woman's heart. It wouldn't take a far leap for Jane and Danger's positions to reverse…_

_I know…_

"Well, whatever she is doing, I hope she makes a decision fast and either lets Danger go or gets on with it. I know that Danger has never been in love before this. Frankly, I'm shocked as hell that it's an asari. She's always been… I don't know… Sort of grounded. She only left Earth for jobs, and just always seemed more comfortable around humans. This is the shock of the century, let me tell you."

"Well, we do have a way of getting to the other races," Liara commented with a grin.

Jane leaned back in her seat again. "That you do. That you certainly do."

_What should I do? Should I walk over to her? I want her to spend the night, but how do I ask it? _

"I can't say I even really understand it."

"I do," replied Jane. "There is something otherworldly about your race, but familiar at the same time. You are similar enough to us in appearance that we feel comfortable, but different and mysterious enough that it remains exciting and new. That might not make any sense to you, but I think it just is in our nature to look at the stars, and wish for something beyond. We don't have telepathic abilities or biotic abilities unless we are exposed to chemicals, so it's just natural for us to be so interested in your race. You have a lot to offer us."

"I suppose."

Jane stood up and walked over to Liara. "Listen, don't think too hard on it. I know that it's a lot to take in, and even under the best of circumstances, relationships are difficult to manage. We'll get through it. I promise."

She lightly brushed Liara's cheek with her fingers and smiled.

_Oh, Goddess, what is she doing? How is that one gesture enough to light my entire body on fire? _

_Lean into it, Liara. Just lean into it, let her know what you are feeling._

_I can't, oh Goddess I can't. Not yet. Those eyes…_

_You must. There is only one way to extinguish this flame. There is only one way to ease the pain._

_It's so frightening, how do I control it?_

_You don't. The flame burns you alive, and you get caught up in the danger of it all. You pray for deliverance._

Liara looked up into the commander's eyes, and lifted her hand to rest on Jane's shoulder. She used her other hand to brace herself against the desk, completely terrified of her body suddenly turning on her and moving closer to the human of its own volition. She heard the commander inhale sharply. Surely Jane recognized the signals. Liara wanted her, but was hesitant and nervous. She felt the commander slowly move closer, testing, challenging, looking for any sign of resistance.

"Liara, I…"

"Jane, don't speak. I cannot bear the words…" Liara let go of the desk and raised both her arms to Jane's shoulders.

_How is everything on fire? How can she command my body to move like this?_

_You are in love with her._

_How can this be? It's too soon, it's too crazy, and it makes no sense._

_Pray for deliverance, Liara… _

The asari closed her eyes and leaned up into the commander. She felt Jane's arms circle her waist, and the human's weight press up against her.

_Goddess, she feels good. Don't stop there, Jane. I need you closer, I need you to help me understand this strange new emotion. _

She was mere centimeters away; she could feel the commander's breath on her cheek. She tugged on Jane's neck, begging the woman to make contact and release her from her self-imposed agony. Her breath quickened as she felt Jane's arms strengthen and the human push harder against her, and she reached out with her mind, praying for deliverance as Jane leaned down into her…

"Commander? Sorry to interrupt, but I have a problem."

Commander Jane Shepard's body went slack, and she rested her forehead against Liara's. "Damn it." She whispered.

_No… No… That's so… unfair… Jane… no…_

The commander loosened her grip on the asari, and looked at the ceiling. "This had better be life and death, Joker."

"It is, Commander. Your friend, Danger is um... Well I think she's trying to hook her AI thingy into the mainframe. She said something about linking to her cars back home and sending them on a rampage through some asari compound. She seems a little… crackers at the moment."

"Damn it. Danger, I am going to kill you." She stepped back from Liara, and cupped the asari's face in her hands. "Liara… We'll find the right time. I need to go get Danger before she crashes the ship into something."

Liara grasped the commander's forearms. "We will. Listen; please come back here when you have tended to Danger."

"I will. I promise." With that, she kissed the asari on her forehead, and left the room.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Garages <strong>

Commander Jane Shepard walked into the garage level, fuming. She felt sorry for Danger and the situation she was in, but the woman was being a major pain in the ass at the moment. Walking up to the Mako, she nearly shouted at the miserable mercenary.

"Danger, what in the HELL are you doing?"

Danger had all her tools spread on the floor, and there were wires hanging out of the Mako's side panels. "I'm going to run all my cars straight through her bedroom. Maybe I will get lucky and cleave that bitch commando in two."

"Do you have any idea what you just interrupted?"

Danger looked at her friend, and then bit her lower lip. "Um… Damn Jane, I didn't mean for you to get involved. I mean, Joker is just pitching a fit because I corrupted his _And Justicars for all _vid. I told him I would rebuild it. This is barely going to take any power at all. It's certainly nothing for you to get involved in."

Jane sighed, her anger dissipating. "Danger, listen, you don't want to do that. What is that going to accomplish, anyway? It's not going to make her want you."

Danger leaned forward with one hand on the car. "I know. I just… I just need to _do_ something."

"Why don't you just call her?"

"Are you out of your mind? What if you aren't the only one I'd be 'interrupting'?" Danger felt her heart break as she said the words. "No, you're right, this was stupid. I just need some sleep."

"Danger, head back to my quarters. It's comfortable and you know if you stay down here, Tali will be in your Omni-tool the second she wakes up."

"Yea, ok. Thanks Jane. I'm really sorry. You've… You've been a good friend."

Jane watched Danger walk away and did her best not to cry.

_No, Danger. A good friend would have warned you. A good friend would have stopped you from making the mistake of the century. A good friend wouldn't have been so wrapped up in her own relationship to see how much you needed her until it was too late._

_A good friend would have done a lot more than I have done for you._

_Why can't things just… fall into place? Why do things never just fall into place for people like us?_

Jane shook her head and crossed her arms. She stood there, just leaning against the car and thinking, for a long time. Never before had she been caught up in so much emotional drama, and it couldn't have happened at a worse time.

_No, things never fall into place for people like us. It's strange how in all the storybooks you read, the hero falls in love and somehow wins the battle, and they live happily ever after. I guess that's just not how it works in real life. It's a lot more complicated, out here in the real world._

Sighing, she pushed herself off the car and started walking back toward the storage areas. At least one thing was starting to make a little sense, and she wanted to be near Liara tonight. She would deal with her friend tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay storage areas<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard stood in the doorway and looked at the slumbering asari for a long time. The woman was beautiful, even in her sleep. There was nothing imperfect about her features. She wasn't as chiseled as her mother was, but Jane could see the similarities in their appearance and had no doubt that Liara would be just as commanding when she reached matriarchal years.

_She is perfect. She is so calm and collected and she always makes the moral choice. There isn't an evil or ruthless bone in her body. A soldier like me doesn't really deserve someone like her. _

Unbidden, voices from her vision revisited her. It wasn't the first time a lost soul had questioned her worthiness of such a prize.

_I wonder why I am seeing these things. I wonder what they have to do with Liara. It can't possibly be what I think it is, and it wouldn't make sense for me to be seeing it anyway. Perhaps I should seek out some assistance with interpreting them. _

Jane stood there for a few more minutes, and then slipped out of her shoes. Closing the door, she moved over to lay behind Liara, and curled her arm protectively across the woman's belly.

_I've seen this before… I remember how this felt… who is she, I wonder…_

Jane closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. The asari smelled wonderful. She felt Liara push back against her, trying to nestle closer. Jane settled back against the wall and tightened her grip.

"Sleep, my love. I will see you in the morning," Jane whispered as she closed her eyes and let the night take her.

* * *

><p><strong><em>-Visions<em>**

_She is gone. I knew she was going to leave me that night, though I begged her to stay. I thought that this would be the end of our days apart, but she is a stubborn one and there is something she simply must have, some sort of gift for our daughter. I close my eyes and hold my belly, where our child is stirring. I have wanted this for centuries, and I spent my life waiting for her to indicate an interest, any interest, in me. Year after year, I was met with silence. _

_That all changed when I realized that I was running out of time. Jennestia had made me an offer, and I was prepared to accept, should my last visit to her apartments end with empty arms yet again. But this time, it didn't, and as I laid beneath the only woman I had ever loved, I couldn't stop myself from tearing her legacy from her to create my perfect daughter. Though I didn't ask permission, she wasn't angry. Instead, she curled protectively around me and declared her love, which was far more than I had expected when I walked into her apartments that night. I expected to be rejected, and instead be bearing the progeny of a much lesser woman._

"_Little Wing, look! It is another letter. Shall we read it now, or wait until tea tonight?"_

_My daughter kicks inside me, and I smile. Already she is showing the signs of rebellion, and I sense that she will be strong, like I am, but quietly intelligent, like she is. This child, my perfect daughter, will change the universe. We still have not decided on a name, but for now Little Wing suits her well enough. I feel certain that this child will fly from the nest, and forge a new light in this world._

"_All right, my love, we will read it now." I settle into my favorite chair and unfold the latest letter from my adventure-seeking partner. I pray that it will be the letter saying she is coming home. _

* * *

><p><em>My only love, xx, <em>

_Today, I felt the sun rise against my brow, and my weakness overcame me at the sensation. I fell to my knees, thanking the Goddess for smiling upon me, and allowing me another day to dream of you and our daughter. I am so fortunate, to be able to call you mine, and to prepare for the grace that surely will shine upon us in the coming weeks as we ready for her arrival. I can almost forget why I even leave the planet, as thoughts of your kindness and compassion envelop my heart.  
><em>

_You are the inspiration for my every word; indeed, my every breath and I thank you. Please, take care of yourself and our Little Wing, for I shall soon return to my family and never depart again. Soon, I will be with you always, and together we will teach her of all the marvels in this world, and the worlds beyond. Soon, our days will be complete, as we raise our family in love and joy, and the Goddess' grace. _

_I remain faithfully yours,_

_xx_

* * *

><p><em>I feel the child settle back down as I read the words aloud. Somehow she knows who wrote those words. She is already showing the signs of incredible insight and compassion. This child is wise beyond her age. <em>

_I knew that I could only create my perfect daughter with this quiet poet. There was no other who could possibly have navigated the complex roadmap that is my heart. I pray that she returns to us soon. I feel I may die without her. My heart is quietly empty in her absence._

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay storage areas<strong>

Jane's eyes opened, and she realized it was deep in the night. Liara had turned toward her at some point, and had nestled her head into the commander's neck. Jane looked down at the softly breathing woman, and said her own little prayer of thanks to the 'Goddess' that she was 'so fortunate' as to call this woman hers.

Settling down again, she closed her eyes and allowed the darkness to overcome her. Just as she was on the blade's edge between the waking world and that of slumber, she thought she heard the asari whisper her name…

"_I love you, Jane…"_


	24. Chapter 23: Ridiculous Thoughts

**Chapter 23: Ridiculous Thoughts**

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay storage rooms<strong>

Liara awoke as she did every morning, early enough to justify staying in bed a little longer, but too late for her to reasonably fall back asleep. The only thing different about this morning, was that this time she was not alone. This time, she was wrapped in the arms of Commander Jane Shepard.

_I never want this to end. This is where I belong, right here, next to her._

She closed her eyes again and nestled closer. It was an amazing feeling, to be this close to the human. There was something about the way that Jane held her that made her feel as though she was the most valued treasure in the commander's life.

_What is it about her that makes me feel so safe?_

Jane Shepard had one arm supporting her head, and the other draped lazily over the asari, gripping the back of her shirt. Liara said a silent thank you to the Goddess that the commander had returned the previous night. Once Jane had left to deal with Danger, she had looked at her console for a few minutes, but then fatigue overcame her. She laid down and closed her eyes, not really expecting that the commander would be able to return. When she awoke later in the night, she found that the human had not only returned, but had joined her in slumber.

_She just slipped in here with me so naturally that I barely even stirred. _

Liara studied the woman's face for a few moments. Up close, she could see every carved angle. There was barely a blemish, only some scars, presumably from battles.

_She must work so hard to maintain her level of physical fitness. I should ask her about those scars sometime. I wonder what caused them._

She reached up to brush away a stray hair from the commander's face, but the movement was enough of a disturbance that Jane lazily opened her eyes.

"Good morning, Liara," she said with a smile.

"Good morning, Jane." Liara slipped her arm around the commander's neck and buried herself in the woman's embrace.

"How did you sleep?" Jane asked, adjusting so she could wrap both arms around the asari.

"I've never slept so well in my life. I could get used to this."

"Mm hm. So could I, believe me, so could I."

"I'm glad you came back last night."

"Well, it was either that or bed down with Danger. As attractive as she is, I think that I'll take a pass on that one."

Liara smiled. "Good. She's too old for you anyway."

"Mm, is that the only reason I should steer clear?"

Liara tried to snuggle closer, almost as if she could disappear into the commander. "No, that's not the only reason. You're taken."

Liara felt the commander tighten her hold, and she closed her eyes and allowed herself to slip back into somewhere between the waking world and the world of dreams.

_I could spend the rest of my life, right here, just like this, with her. Don't let it end. Don't ever let this end. _

But as with all good things, it did have to end.

"We need to get up, Liara."

"I know. Just a little while longer." She tightened her hold on the commander and unbidden, an electrical charge shot through her that shifted her breathing and caused her to involuntarily push closer to the human, in a slightly different way. Jane recognized the signal, and looked down at the asari in her arms. Her body went rigid and her breathing stopped, as she waited to see if Liara was going to follow up on it.

_She picked up on that one, Liara. Make a decision…_

_I can't. _

_You are going to have to. _

_Who are you anyway? Get out of my head. _

_You need to either throw yourself in her arms and leave all your fear behind, or get out of this bed. _

_I don't know what to do._

_You do. _

_I can't. _

_So you keep saying…_

_I'm not sure... _

_Just tilt your head up, Liara. Jane will do the rest. Just tilt it up, just a little bit… Just press against her, just a little bit… Just give her the smallest indication, and let her lead you from there…_

_I… I want…. I…. I can't…_

In the end, Liara just turned over again, putting her back to Jane, and the human exhaled the breath she had been holding. The commander didn't comment though, instead just wrapping back around the asari, and sighing.

_Good job, Liara. That one hurt her. You're handling this marvelously._

_Shut up._

_No. you are causing her physical pain now. She needs you, and she has shown more restraint than any other race would. Anyone else would have been long gone. Anyone else would have called you out on this behavior, not just wrapped back around you and let you continue to torture them._

_You don't think I know that?_

_Actually, I don't think you do. The situation is really, really simple. The way you are carrying on though, you'd think it was some complex navigation of an uncharted star system. _

_I… I just… I don't know. _

_In the end, it' going to be up to you Liara. Just remember, you're wasting time… And time is not a luxury even the asari have enough of, to put it to waste… Don't learn it the hard way._

_Get out of my head. _

_No._

They laid there for another hour, and then Jane started to stir. "I had better get out of here and check on Danger. I'll see you later on." She leaned down to kiss the asari on her forehead, and stepped into her shoes before walking out the airlock door.

_And that's that. She's gone, and barely a goodbye. I'll bet you ten creds she starts avoiding you._

Liara sat up and gripped her head.

_Get out! Just… get out… This is ridiculous... I don't need your help. _

_Liara… you do. This is not a mistake you want to make…_

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard leaned against the door and crossed her arms. Her friend looked a little better, but she could tell the woman was still in a lot of pain, both physical and spiritual.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Darla "Danger" Vance was sitting on her friend's bed, holding her head in her hands. She barely responded with a gruff, "No."

Jane shook her head. She had to find a way to get through to the mercenary. "You are going to have to talk about it, Darla. I've known you a long time, and I've never seen you try to self-destruct like this.

"I'm fine, Jane. Just give me a break."

"You aren't fine. Why don't you just call her?"

"It's complicated."

"It's complicated because you are over-complicating it."

"Jane, you don't understand. There's no way you could possibly understand."

_Time to change tactics… I'm getting nothing out of her._

"You eye looks good."

"Yea, thanks for that, Jane. Was it really necessary?"

"You've never had to carry you drunk. Trust me, it was necessary."

"Mm hm, and I'm sure you didn't enjoy it at all." Danger grinned at her friend.

_She's such a sweetheart. Nothing makes her angry. She just quietly accepts whatever you throw at her. That matriarch doesn't deserve her anyway._

"Do you want to go to Omega?"

Danger looked at her friend. Slowly, she nodded. "Yea, Jane. I can't go back to Thessia. I need to move on to Omega."

"What about your stuff?"

"All I have there is a few cars, and they aren't even on Terriana's compound. I can have them transported back to Earth anytime. "

"You really have nothing there at all?"

Danger shook her head. "Not really. Nothing that can't be replaced when I get to Omega. That Commando has probably cleaned out my office anyway. I'm sure that she's completely taken over now that I'm gone. In fact, I'd bet that Terriana moved her into the main part of the house the second she figured out I bailed."

"I still think that you should at least send her some sort of message. You need some kind of closure."

"Closure is for the weak. What I need is a nice rack to bury my face in." She threw her arms into the air dramatically. "Take me to Omega, Jane. I have a date with… The entire asari race!"

_Yea, she's acting out again._

"You don't mean that."

Danger sighed, and then stood and leaned against the wall.

"Jane, I don't know what I mean. You know, a year ago I was living the good life. People knew my name, I got hit on in almost every bar, I got all the good jobs... It was great. Lots of money and lots of booze. Lots of travelling and seeing new places. Lots of new technology and time to experiment and just generally fuck off. I lived for it."

Jane just nodded.

"But I was going to give all of it up, for a quiet life sitting on a bench in a garden on Thessia. None of the jobs I have done over the years seems quite as important as my job sitting on that bench. None of them were as important as listening to her vent her frustration at the universe. None of it compared to the feeling I would get when I'd hear that knock at my office door. You could take all the guys and girls I have met over the years and all of them combined don't compare to her look of fury when she isn't sure what to do with me and my antics. And then all of a sudden, it's all gone and I don't even know _why._" Danger closed her eyes and willed herself strength. "I don't know what I did wrong. She didn't even have the decency to tell me _why. _And I can't just slip back into being a mercenary." She waved a hand dismissively. "I've been changed again. It's all empty. I don't care about any of that crap anymore."

Jane opened her mouth to respond, and then closed it. She didn't know what to say.

"I guess that… some of us… Well Jane, it's just not supposed to happen for some of us. I mean, I should have known. I would have met someone I was interested in before this, right? It's too late, right? The whole thing was just ridiculous thoughts in my head, a silly fantasy that I'd be the one to melt the frigid bitch matriarch."

_I suppose. How do you answer a question like that?_

"I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I guess… Well I'm just sorry, Danger."

_I should have brought Liara. She would be able to handle this. She would know what to say to make the mercenary feel better._

Jane looked around the room, almost as if she could summon the asari to her side. Finding no support, she sighed and continued.

"I think we are going to take today off, and maybe tomorrow too. I know you could use the time to nurse that hangover, and Ash and I should run the team through some drills. We'll pick up in a couple days with one last war game. Why don't you stay for that? It will be fun."

"Yea, I'll stay for the last game. But then, I'm off to Omega. I was offered a job out there as head of security not too long ago. I may as well see if it's still available. Start a new life, you know?"

"I think that's a good idea, Danger. Liara and I will stop by as often as we can to check up on you."

"Speaking of which, sorry again for… Messing that up for you."

"It's ok, Danger. I get the feeling she still isn't quite ready anyway. I don't know what's going on, but it's like she goes through this inner struggle every time we are about to get close. It's a little painful, but I want her to be sure. I don't want her to feel like she has to, just because of me. Does that make sense?"

"It does, but it sucks. I can see the pain she has you in. But look at it this way. At least you know her heart is leaning in your direction. She's just a little scared." Danger grinned. "Don't worry, Jane. Sooner or later, she just won't be able to resist your charms."

"Maybe. I guess we'll see. Despite it all, I had a really good night. I belong with that woman, and I think she knows she belongs with me. It will happen. What's more important right now is making sure that everyone is ready to face Saren. I still am not entirely sure what he's after, but I do know that if he gets it, our relationship issues will look petty in comparison to the problems we'll soon be having."

"You're probably right. Well the least I can do is help to train your crew. Why don't we stage an extraction for the last game? I can get Ned to bring the Colloquia out, and they can split into two teams. Since we are taking a couple days off, I can set it up like a real extraction. I'll call some of my info buddies and let slip a clue or two, and we can use you as the prize!"

"What are you talking about? You mean you want to set it up so they have to rescue me?"

"Why not? If I am setting up the game, I can't very well play. So either you do it with uneven teams again, or you let your crew shine and see what they are really made of. Split them into two teams. We'll hide you on the Colloquia, and we'll make it seem like you were kidnapped for real. Who is in charge when you are off the ship?"

"Pressly."

"Perfect. Bring him in on it. He will send in the first team to figure out what happened. When they find you, we'll lock them in the room too. Then he can make it seem like the first team was captured, we'll move the ship to a new location, and he can hand it all over to team 2. They'll find you, and well… then we can celebrate what a terrific and loyal crew you have!"

"It won't work, Danger."

"Why not?"

"Well for a start, if they think that I was really kidnapped, they aren't going to agree to go in with the toy rounds we have been using in the games."

"I got a buddy who can help with that. Best in the business. I'll set everything up. I'll even make it look like a betrayal! Darla Vance Gone Rogue! None of your crew really knows anything about the Colloquia, and I can hack the history easily enough. Tali is good, but she's not as good as I am… yet. Even she won't be able to figure out it's all fake until well after the game is over. Come on Jane, it will give me something to do; something to take my mind off… things."

Jane nodded. "Ok Danger. You set it all up. I'm going to have a shower and then head down to the garages to see if Ash is ready to run some drills with the crew.

"Excellent. I'm going to the Citadel to make some calls. You can spread the word around that I kind of left. Then just head out in a couple days, and I'll come kidnap you! Just make sure Joker doesn't try anything cute. I'm sure he wants revenge for me ruining his vid."

Jane just rolled her eyes at her friend. "Ok, Danger. I'll see you in a couple days."

She watched the mercenary leave, and then pulled out some clothes for the day.

_Time to get cleaned up. Maybe I should give Liara some space. It was a mistake to go back there last night. I've probably just confused her further. This has truly turned into the most complicated mess I've ever been in. _

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, garages<strong>

"Morning, Chief."

"Afternoon, Commander."

Jane let it slide.

"Good job on the games yesterday. You really outdid yourself."

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams smiled. The commander was impressed with her. Her mission had been accomplished.

"I can't take all the credit. Wrex, T'Soni and Alenko really held it together."

"Right, well, it was pretty damned impressive. Let's take the next couple of days off and run them through some drills. We can take them out to the training grounds on the Citadel and run laps or something."

"Ok, sounds good. I'll get everyone and head down there."

"I'll see you there."

Jane turned to leave, but the chief grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Commander, are you ok?"

She didn't turn around. "I'm fine, Chief."

"That's convincing."

_Nothing gets by Ash. I had better come up with something, before the wild speculation starts._

This time she did turn, and put on her best 'I'm a soldier and nothing bothers me' face. "I'm fine, Ash."

The gunnery chief looked at Jane, trying to read her expression. "No, Commander, you aren't. I'll respect if you don't want to discuss with me what's wrong, but don't pretend that everything is ok when it's clear that something is bothering you."

"Look, I just don't want a lot of drama to come of this. Danger left, and I'm worried about her. You don't know a whole lot about the details surrounding why she's here, but suffice it to say that the situation is delicate."

The gunnery chief cocked an eyebrow, but eventually nodded. "Well, it's not quite what I was expecting, but I guess that would qualify as something upsetting. What did she say?"

"We went to the Flux, she got drunk, and it just blew up into a whole huge thing. Look, it's not a big deal. Let's just get everyone ready for the laps. I'll meet you all there in an hour."

"Ok, Commander. I'll get everyone down to the Citadel. I'll see you later then."

_Well, at least she didn't push it. Hopefully that will be enough rumor to make whatever Danger is planning plausible. Hopefully it will be enough that Ash doesn't ask me anything else. _

Jane sighed, and then returned to her quarters.


	25. Chapter 24: Echoes of eternal slumber

**Chapter 24: Echoes of eternal slumber**

**-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters**

Commander Jane Shepard sat in her chair and pulled off her boots. They were going to be running laps, and she needed to prepare. Standing and opening a drawer, she pulled out a brace designed to hold her left ankle in place.

_I remember when I got this injury. It was the first night I met Danger. Of course, she was just Darla then… She was just Darla, and I was just Jane, and we were just a couple of crazy kids trying to play at being big gang bosses._

Jane chuckled and sat back in her seat.

_She was right about me being scrawny and running all the time. I was supposed to deliver a message to Tattoo, the leader of the Calico Jacks gang. It was supposed to be fast and easy, in and out. They knew I was coming and were supposed to give me safe passage._

_I'll never forget that day. That was the day I was taught a harsh lesson about betrayal. After I delivered my message, I learned that I was to be delivering a little more than just a datapad. I was a peace offering. My gang, the ones who were supposed to have my back, were slaving me out. I was barely old enough to understand what that even meant. I did understand enough to know that I needed to be anywhere but there, though. The Calico Jacks didn't count on me being so slippery or so fast, and they definitely didn't count on Darla Vance._

_I ran as fast as I could, trying to make it back to safe territory, but my gang had turned on me. The shooting started, and I can barely even remember what happened after I turned away from them and ran into the unknown. I didn't even see the street drop off, and I got my ankle caught in a crevice. That's when she appeared, with a couple of her buddies. I'd never seen a more beautiful sight in my life. She was like an arch angel, come down from heaven with her wild blonde hair and her flaming assault rifle of judgement. She couldn't have been more than twenty nine at the time, but even in those days when she spoke, people listened. The Calico Jacks didn't want a war with the Vance family, and they backed off as soon as she claimed me. _

Jane smiled at the memory. She had stayed on in with the Vance family, who were a division of the Reds, until she joined up with the Alliance. Darla had left soon after that, handing it over to her second in command, after saving the human Senator and embarking on her own adventures in mercenary life. It was a long time ago, but she loved those days. Darla ran a family, not a gang. When Jane said she wanted out, Darla let her out. That was it.

Jane started pulling on the brace. She didn't have to wear it all the time, but she did put in on when running in case she rolled her ankle. As long as she was wearing it, it usually wouldn't be severe enough to stop her from completing the exercise. She could push through a little bit of pain, and a little medigel afterward would heal it sufficiently well for her to continue her duties.

_Boy we sure turned out differently, didn't we Danger? Sometimes I wish you had joined up with the Alliance too. It's not all bad, and some of the perks are really worth it. It would have been great to serve together on this mission, and you wouldn't be in the situation you are in now._

Slowly she laced the brace up her leg. Pulling it as tightly as she could, she tied it off and looked at her work.

_That should be good enough. It's only a few laps on flat terrain. It will be fine. _

She pulled her boot on over the brace, and laced that up as well.

_You can barely see it. Perfect. _

She was always worried about the crew seeing her weakness. Everyone counted on Jane Shepard to hold them together, and she had to be strong for them. She had to be strong for her friends. She had to be strong for the Alliance. She had to be strong for the universe. There was no other who could complete this task. She couldn't afford to let anyone see her one physical flaw.

_I had better get moving. They will wonder what happened to me._

Commander Jane Shepard stood, rocked back and forth on her feet a few times to test the stability of the brace, and then headed out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Alliance training section TR-06<strong>

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams already had the team doing laps by the time Jane made it to the track.

"Wow gunny, you didn't waste any time, did you?"

Williams shook her head. "You wanted to drill them, so I'm drilling them." She looked at the commander. "You planning to run a bit with them?"

"You bet I am. Let's do an hour long session, and then give them a break."

"All right, Commander. Get your ass in gear!"

Jane grinned at her officer, and then jogged out to take her place next to Wrex and Garrus.

"Hey Commander, what's going on?" Garrus asked.

"Not whole a lot, Garrus. How are you all doing with the laps?"

"Well, Wrex and I don't mind it, but I think Tali and Liara are plotting revenge against Williams. Alenko is holding up, but the chief is probably going to pull him out before his head explodes."

Jane chuckled. The quarian and the asari were both more interested in exercises of the mind, and she wasn't surprised that they weren't thrilled about the laps. Still, it was a good way to get physically fit, and it was one of Jane's favorite things to do. She didn't get to run very often now, having ascended the ranks, but every now and again she liked to get outside and have a good long jog.

She closed her eyes, and fell into a rhythm next to her turian and krogan friends. The three of them easily circled the track, passing the asari and quarian several times. Williams pulled Alenko out shortly after Jane went in. It was clear that his head was bothering him, and she didn't want him to have an incident.

_Williams would make an excellent commanding officer. She's got all the right traits, and her heart is in the right place. I wish we could move beyond holding people responsible for what their ancestors did. I need to put in a report about her. She has been an invaluable member of the team and should be recognized for it.  
><em>

Jane closed her eyes and moved her head along with the rhythmic sounds their boots made on the ground. It was hypnotic, and she felt like she was back in basic again, the drill sergeants shouting instructions to the new recruits. She loved military life, and silently thanked whatever god or goddess was listening for the opportunity to serve in the Alliance Navy. It had truly changed her life.

_I can almost forget about what I have to do; about what my mission is._

She opened her eyes back up. No, she could never forget about her mission. Her reprieve from it was coming to a close. They would have to move on, and she would have to hope that these war games and the brief training would be enough.

_It __**has**__ to be enough. I can't train this crew forever, and I can't keep them forever, either. Eventually they will want to move on and get back to their own missions, their own worlds. _

She felt a small pain in her chest at that thought.

_I wonder if Liara will move on too, or will she stay with me? _

She looked at the asari up ahead, jogging slowly next to the quarian. They sure did look like they were plotting some sort of revenge against the gunnery chief. Tali kept pointing at her Omni-tool, and Liara would look over, and either nod or shake her head.

_I wonder what those two are up to… the strongest biotic and the best hacker is a dangerous combination…_

They passed the two again, and Jane nodded to Liara as she ran by. The asari smiled and reached out to gently squeeze the commander's arm. Jane closed her eyes again and lost herself in the rhythm.

_She would stay. Either that or I would go. I know exactly what you meant before, Danger. I know why you would give it all up to sit on a bench in the middle of nowhere on a planet so far from home. I'd give it all up too, if she asked it of me. I'd do anything she asked of me. _

Jane lost herself in the trance-like movements, and she felt her head becoming light.

_I'd go anywhere you asked, make a life anywhere you chose. I'd leave behind the military forever. It's just empty if I can't be near you. _

She thought she heard the sound of a far off droning.

_It's just the electricity in the Citadel. _

She opened her eyes and skillfully navigated the corner, pulling ahead of Wrex and Garrus, whom she sensed were starting to get a bit winded.

_I'd give you anything, anything at all. We wouldn't waste any more time. Things __**would**__ fall into place for us, Liara. We'd have it all. Danger will meet someone too, and we'll all go out and have great times together. Hell, we can raise our kids together. It will be perfect…_

The drone, the buzzing, was starting to get louder…

_Maybe they are working on fuses or something. Don't focus on that, focus on the future. You'll stop Saren's mad plot, and then be free to explore the galaxy, taking her to even the most remote corners to unearth her beloved Prothean treasures. It will be a splendid life. _

The buzzing was starting to reverberate in her head.

_Gosh, what is wrong with me?_

Jane felt herself falling, but it wasn't like when she'd invert her ankle. Something was blacking out her consciousness, and all she could see was sorrow and despair. Something was pulling her out of herself, and insisting she take part in events not her own. Something was taking over Jane Shepard's mind… And there was nothing she could do to stop it.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Visions<strong>_

_Somehow, I knew. I knew what would happen, and I didn't fight hard enough to stop it, try hard enough to convince myself to take action. I wasted time, so much time, and now there is nothing to make up for the loss. _

_I'm on my knees, cursing the Goddess for the injustice. There are a million 'if onlys' and a million 'I would haves' and yet for all of them, I have nothing. I allowed this to occur, and I will suffer for eternity in guilt for it. _

"_She left us here alone, Little Wing. She's not coming back, and we have to be strong. I let this happen, I let her be ripped from us, and I am so very sorry. You will never know what I have done. You deserve better than to know what your mother did, what she is capable of. You deserve so much better. You deserve… her."_

_I stand and make my way to the window to look out at the sky. My daughter slumbers in her bed, completely unaware of the monster in the room just a few feet away. I curse the stars, and the cool night air, and the ancient civilizations that she chased, all for me. She chased them down, all for me, and in a fit of jealousy and rage at her lengthy absence; I made the decision that cost me a piece of my soul. I can no longer feel her, as I once did when she lived. I can no longer hear the echo of her thoughts, which were always of me and our child. I can no longer sense her longing; her desire to return to us. _

_All I know now is cold and darkness, and yet I cannot lie down and allow eternal slumber to take me. I am not afraid; I know I have forfeited my place in the eternal light because of my inaction. I took everything from her, and gave nothing in return, not even allowing her the joys of watching her only child grow. I took everything from her, without her permission, and when she called for me, I ignored it until it was too late. I was such a fool, thinking in my insanity that she was just fine. Something spoke in my thoughts and caused me to leave the missive unopened and untouched until it was too late. I will forever live with the guilt and pain of what I did; what I was too weak to prevent.  
><em>

_I am at peace with the knowledge that no bright stars wait to pave my way into the halls of my mothers. Yet I must continue, for the least I can do is raise her only child until she is strong enough to stand on her own, and then I may fade into the nothingness that I deserve._

"_My Little Wing, you shall never know what a monster I am." I lightly brush my child's forehead, and I feel her linking up with my mind. She is too young to understand my scattered thoughts, so I don't fight her. It feels so much like my lost love. This child is so much like her; she bears the mark of the ancient demon, and someday she will have the same eternal link with a lover of her own choice. I pray, that when the time comes, she doesn't make the same mistakes her mother did. I pray that she doesn't waste time, and she never loses faith. I pray that she is a better woman than I. I pray that she is more like… more like her. _

"_My Little Wing, I am sorry for taking her from you. None of this is your fault. It's all my fault, the fault of a lonely and weak woman who succumbed to whisperings instead of responding to her lover's call for help. The burden falls to my shoulders, not yours, Little Wing. Not yours. Sleep, my child. Sleep now, and dream of pleasant things. This will be my last night of mourning, and come the morrow, we will begin our lives anew." _

_I sink into the chair next to where my perfect daughter now slumbers, and weep for the last time in my life. _

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay<strong>

"She's coming around. Dr. Chakwas, she's coming around!" Tali gestured wildly to the bed the commander was occupying.

"Ow, what the hell happened to me?"

Commander Jane Shepard awakened to find Liara holding her hand, and the rest of the crew standing around her bed.

"Move everyone, please, give her some room." The doctor came to Jane's side and started scanning her with some sort of tool the commander didn't recognize.

"What's all that about, Doc?"

"Hmmm. Commander, there's… There something I think we should talk about in private."

Jane sat up on the bed and nodded. Liara hesitated for a moment, but Jane gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and the asari got up to leave with the crew.

"Commander, there's something unusual with your brain patterns."

_No shit…_

"What do you mean, Doc?"

"I can't explain it. Have you been feeling out of sorts? Have you been...? I don't know how to ask this without it seeming silly. Have you been seeing anything unusual lately?"

The commander looked at the ship's doctor, and bit her lower lip.

_Can I trust her? Will she take it right back to the Alliance and have me declared unfit for duty?_

"I'm not really sure that I should be talking to you about my bad dreams, Doctor."

"Jane, this isn't about the alliance or any of their politicking. I'm worried about you. These scans indicate activity in parts of the brain never indicated in humans. We've never seen this sort of pattern before. Now I know something is going on, but I don't know what."

Jane considered the other woman for a moment, and then decided it best to be truthful, if a little vague.

"Look, I've been having these visions. It's almost like echoes from the past or something. I think it has something to do with that beacon. None of it is very clear." Jane shook her head, and scrunched up her face.

"Hmm. Well whatever it is, it's gone now. You are back to normal, for the moment. How many of these visions have you had?" The doctor looked worried, but curious.

"Maybe four?"

"Can you remember what you were doing when you had them?"

She thought about it, and nodded. "Well, the first one was in the comm room. It was after one of our war games, and it was after everyone had left. Well, that's not quite right. Liara had hung back and we talked a little."

_Right, better not mention the… other… stuff._

"Then I passed out in a chair, and that was the first vision. The next one was after I got hit in the head with some spinning disc thingy. Liara was trying to control it, but I guess it got away from her. Danger and Tali tended to me, but while I was knocked out I remember seeing something. Then the next one was a dream. I was asleep with… Well I was asleep and it just kind of came. And now this one is the fourth, and I blacked out just after passing Liara on the track. The last thing I remember was her squeezing my arm, and then I woke up here."

The doctor looked thoughtful. Quietly she said, "Jane, do you see the pattern?"

"Pattern? Well I see that I have some really rotten luck and a history of getting knocked in the head."

"It doesn't take a doctor to put this together, Commander. The one recurring theme in your visions is contact with Liara T'Soni."

Jane Shepard closed her eyes. Even with her omitting key elements of the story, the brilliant doctor had put it together.

"Ok, and what if that is the 'recurring theme'? What of it?"

"Well, I suppose that depends on what exactly the visions are of. Do you remember them?"

"I remember them, but I'm not really sure what it is I'm seeing."

"Maybe you should ask her to help with them. She might be able to identify them."

Jane shook her head. "You know, I may not be entirely sure what I am seeing, but I know enough to realize that would be a really bad idea."

"You will have to do something, Commander. You can't let them black you out in the field, if you happen to have the asari in your squad and the two of you come into accidental contact."

Jane Shepard rubbed her eyes. "Yea, I know. Listen thanks for patching me up. I think I have an idea. I know someone who might be able to help me sort this out. Is there anything else, Doc?"

The doctor put her scanner on a nearby table and shook her head. "You're cleared for duty. But Jane, please figure out what this is and handle it. I don't want to see you back in here with real damage because of an uncontrolled vision."

"Right, I understand Doc. Don't worry about it."

Jane Shepard hopped off the table, and headed outside, where the crew was waiting for her.

"I'm all right you guys, I'm all right." She rubbed her head. "I guess that disc I took to the face was a little more serious than I thought. Everyone head back to your posts. We're going to take tomorrow off, and see about getting some weapons upgrades and other things."

The crew turned to leave, but Liara lingered. "That means you too, Liara. I'm fine, really."

The asari nodded, and smiled sadly at the commander. She wanted to embrace the human, or make some sort of contact, but she sensed that Jane had a wall up. Something was wrong, and the commander was blocking her out in particular. She decided to let Jane have her space.

"Ok Jane. Come find me if you want to talk."

Jane just nodded and cocked her head to the side, adjusting her earbud as she watched the young scientist walk away.

"Joker, set a course for Feros. I have some business there."

"You got it Commander."


	26. Chapter 25:It's your life it's your soul

**Chapter 25: It's your life, it's your soul**

**-Feros, Zhu's Hope Colony**

Commander Jane Shepard disembarked from the Normandy with Garrus and Tali. She knew that Liara was disappointed in being left behind, but this was one away mission that she needed to do without the young asari.

"Garrus, Tali, go see what weapons and technology you can scrounge up." She gestured to a salarian merchant standing by a small trailer.

"Commander, these people have nothing," Tali said. "We would have better luck on another planet or on the Citadel."

"Maybe, but you would be surprised at how resourceful folks can be. Just go see what you can find. I need to visit an old friend."

"All right, Commander. But don't say I didn't warn you when we come back with nothing but varren scraps and a few pieces of tin."

Jane just smiled. Tali was getting to be more sarcastic, no doubt from all the back and forth banter she had been having with Danger. The two had apparently linked up their Omni-tools and had been chattering back and forth about code and who knew what else since the mercenary had come aboard the Normandy.

_You are a bad influence on her, Danger. A very bad influence._

Jane watched Garrus and Tali leave, and then walked over to a familiar corner to greet a familiar face.

"Shiala, it's good to see you are doing well here."

"Yes, things are shaping up nicely. Exogeni has started to invest more in this colony so we are all doing very well."

"That's really good to hear. I'm glad that everything worked out. Listen, I have a… favor to ask of you."

"Of course. What can I do for you?"

"I have been having these strange, visions… I need someone to help me make sense of them."

"Why don't you have your friend help, the T'Soni girl?"

Jane sighed. "It's complicated. You'll understand when you see the vision."

Shiala nodded. She didn't know what Shepard was talking about, but curiosity was getting the better of her. What could be so secret that she couldn't show the T'Soni girl?

"Very well then. Relax, Shepard. Embrace Eternity"

Her eyes turned to obsidian, and Jane felt the woman poking around, seeking the secrets the human's mind held. She focused on bringing the visions to the forefront for Shiala's examination, and she sensed the asari's shock and surprise as the woman registered what it was she was witnessing. After a few moments, Jane felt her withdraw.

"Shepard, those… Those are genetic memories… But we can _never_ see those… We can see traits and we can see patterns, but never the actual full memories… The human mind is strange indeed. Can you see your own genetic memories?"

"No… No I… I don't… I don't know what they are, but they started happening after this one night I woke up out of the blue, covered in sweat. I'm not sure what happened, but it felt like Liara was with me. Or, something… I don't really know. A couple weeks later, I touched her hand, and images of her were deposited directly into my brain. Not the visions I just showed you… these were… other sorts of visions." Jane looked a little sheepish, but Shiala had the grace not to comment.

"Anyway, then after that, these... other… things started to happen. I think I know who the first asari is, but I can't place the second one. Do you have any idea?"

"I do," Shiala replied slowly. "Wait here, I will be right back."

Shiala disappeared into a nearby trailer, and emerged carrying a small datapad. "I present to you the asari roadmap to romance. This is our bible, the book every asari turns to when looking for the right words to say." She handed it to Jane.

_Love Letters from Liari N'Vara_

Jane looked up at Shiala. "Liari?"

Shiala just nodded. "I have read the book hundreds of times myself, but never in a million years would I have thought those letters were to Benezia. Liari died while on an excavation. She traveled the galaxy seeking treasures of the past to bring to her great love. She wrote at least five hundred journals, all chronicling her travels, and all referencing an unknown woman whom it was speculated that she was in love with for centuries. These letters were published after her death, but you can see where the name is redacted." Shiala pointed to several pages where there were large smudges of what looked like some sort of black ink. "No one ever knew who they were to. All we ever knew was that eventually it all worked out, because these letters span about a years' time and tell such a story of romance and devotion that it would break your heart to think that such love even exists. And then, well… We know what happened then."

Jane Shepard exhaled softly at the revelation.

"How did she die?"

Shiala took the datapad back and looked at it sadly. "That is one of the greatest tragedies of our time. She was on an uncharted planet in Artemis Tau, and her ship got disabled in a storm. She couldn't leave the planet, and… they just didn't get to her in time. She sent out a distress message, and whoever received it didn't pass it along in time for anyone to rescue her. When they found her, she had a small shovel, some sort of artifact or child's toy in one hand, and her pen in the other, surrounded by scraps of paper. They were all letters to her love, written until her last breath. She was fond of using actual paper to write. That's why the book's lettering looks so strange on the datapad. All of it was reproduced exactly as she had written it. It was her finest work. The letters were published, and though there have been endless rumors and speculation, no one ever knew who they were to."

_Artemis Tau… _

Jane couldn't help but marvel at the irony.

_So this is why Benezia never told Liara. How much pain this must have caused her…_ The elder asari's words came back to her, "__It's all my fault, the fault of a lonely and weak woman who succumbed to whisperings instead of responding to her lover's call for help._"_

"Shepard, Benezia is the one who got that distress message, and she… she did nothing." Shiala's voice almost cracked in disbelief.

"Yes…" Jane nodded.

"This would have ripped out a piece of her soul. A union like that comes but once in a millennia. For her to have thrown it away in such a violent and evil way… I fear there was already something taking root in her mind. There is no way she would have thrown away something like that, not voluntarily. This… The level of cover up is beyond belief. I wonder how many others know… I wonder if the Councilor knows…"

"Shiala, you can never tell a soul." Jane was suddenly nervous, and hoped that the older woman could keep this secret.

"I won't, Shepard. I owe you, and Matriarch Benezia that much. But, are you going to tell Liara?"

"I… I don't know. I don't think so. At least not yet. I don't even fully understand what is going on and I don't want her to get caught up in all of this. There is a reason Benezia never brought it up. I won't pretend that I know better than she did the consequences of this information coming out."

"You're probably right. If I were you though, I'd work on hiding those images away, especially if you are planning on intimate relations with Liara. It's clear that you two are interested in each other."

_So she knows somehow that we aren't that close yet. _

"She will surely make the same connection I did if she sees them, and if you join with her, I have no doubt that she will see them. There can only be one explanation for her genetic memories to be passing into you."

Jane looked at the asari quizzically. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Shepard, examine those visions again. Examine the link between Liari and Benezia. Compare it to your link with Liari's daughter. You are going to find a lot of similarities. If you join with Liara, I think you will be linked in the same way, and then Liara will see the visions. She will make the connection. There isn't an asari alive who doesn't know about 'Liari's Letters'. It was the single most tragic event in our lifetime, and her works are celebrated throughout our culture."

"Ok, I understand. I will work on that. Do you have any suggestions?"

Shiala nodded. "This will sound bizarre, but the best asari to handle this sort of thing is Sha'ira. I'm sure that once she knows the nature of the visions and who they relate to, she will be more than happy to help. She's also the only asari I would trust to be… discreet… with the information. She has many reasons to respect the secrets of others…"

"Thank you, Shiala. My list of friends is starting to grow thin, and I'm glad I can still count you on it."

"Anytime, Commander. I'm happy to have been able to return the favor. You let me live, when you could have ended my life and been thoroughly justified in doing so. Besides that, Matriarch Benezia was a good woman, in her time. I fear she was just corrupted by some evil force that even she did not understand."

"I'd better get back to the Normandy. I have some thinking to do."

"Stop back anytime. Here. You can keep this copy. It might help you to find the right things to say." She handed the datapad back to Jane.

"Thanks, Shiala."

Jane turned away, and looked around for Tali and Garrus. She didn't immediately see them, though, and so just sent a quick message through her Omni-tool for them to meet her back on the Normandy when they were done. She nodded her thanks one last time at Shiala, stuffed the datapad into a pocket, and left the colony.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, cockpit<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard boarded the Normandy, but didn't go through to the comm room right away. Instead, she took a left, and put her hand on the back of her pilot's chair.

"Joker, set a course for the Citadel. As soon as Garrus and Tali are back on board, take us out there."

"No problem, Commander. Is everything all right?"

She nodded. "Everything is fine, Joker. I have some business there."

"Ok, well I won't pry. Hey, is your friend gone for good?"

Jane looked at him. "You mean Danger?"

"Yea. She um... Well she promised to fix my _And Justicars for all _vid, but I haven't seen her since that night..."

Jane rolled her eyes. "She left, but I'm sure she didn't mean to leave your vid broken. Just catch Tali when she comes aboard. She's still in contact with Danger."

Joker grinned at her and nodded. "All right! Thanks, Commander!"

Jane smiled and shook her head, turning to walk away. Over her shoulder she said, "Just make sure you are using those vids during off-duty hours..."

"You bet Commander! I'm a total professional here."

Jane suppressed a laugh as she saw in her mind's eye the grin that was surely plastered across her pilot's face.

_What a great crew this ship has. Saren, you don't know who you are fucking with._

She whispered to Pressly as she walked by to have the crew sent into the comm room when they all returned from their various tasks, and entered the comm room to wait.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Comm room<strong>

"Here you are Commander. As promised, here are some varren scraps and pieces of tin."

Commander Jane Shepard looked up at the young engineer, and laughed. "Tali, am I going to have to forbid you from talking with Danger?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Tali, this has Danger written all over it. Did she dare you to do it?"

Jane couldn't tell for sure, but she thought she saw a slight change in the quarian's features behind her mask, perhaps a smile of some sort.

"Well, perhaps she did make a few suggestions as to appropriate items to bring back to you."

_Great. Danger, you are supposed to be pretending to go rogue. You aren't going to be able to pull this off if you can't stop talking to Tali!_

"Well, I guess I will just have to send you and Garrus to the Citadel for some real supplies. Here, take the credstick and go get whatever we need. We should be arriving there soon. And try not to get caught up in any mischief with Danger! I know you know where she is!"

Tali and Garrus stood and started for the door. Jane thought she heard Tali whisper to Garrus something about Danger being right on how to get the credstick from the commander, but she just let it go.

"All right everyone, dismissed. We're taking a bit of shore leave, so get some rest and enjoy yourselves. We'll talk about the next war game in a few days." The rest of the crew got up to leave, but Liara lingered.

"Is there something on your mind, Liara?"

"Yes… I wanted to talk to you about this earlier, but I did not have a chance. I am a little concerned about Tali."

"What do you mean?"

"She seems a little… obsessed with your friend."

"Don't be ridiculous. She's just interested in Danger's take on programming. Danger may have not had a lot of formal training, but that's probably what made her into such a great practical programmer. She's got a lot of knowledge to share with the quarians."

"Yes, she does. That is what worries me, Jane."

"Liara, you aren't making sense. What are you trying to say to me?"

Liara walked over and knelt down in front of the commander, taking the woman's hands in her own. "Jane, do you remember how we started?"

Jane thought back and smiled. "Yea, it was actually kind of comical. If I recall, you wanted to make a study of me because of my exposure to a Prothean artif... Oh I see what you mean. But that's just not possible. I mean, Tali is… She's just Tali. There's no way she would fall for a human, especially not a female one."

Liara didn't look convinced. "I don't know, Jane. There is something about your friend. She is older and she is dangerous. It is a devastating combination, and you should have heard Tali carrying on at the run yesterday. She and Danger were working on some program or another, and every five minutes they would send more code back and forth. I just… I do not know for sure; Tali is hard to read and I do not dare try to examine her, but I think you should talk to her. And this time, actually do it, not like you talked with Danger..."

Jane had the grace to blush. Liara was right, of course. She should talk to Tali, and really do it this time. It was too late for Danger, but she could at least get the quarian's head on straight.

She gave the asari's hands a reassuring squeeze. "All right, Liara. I'll talk to her. Now, go and get some rest. I have some business on the Citadel."

"Oh?" She was suddenly suspicious. "And you need to leave me here?"

Jane inhaled deeply.

_This is going to be difficult. Should I lie? Or should I just omit certain truths?_

"Yes, I have to see someone."

"Can you tell me who?"

She decided to be honest.

"I have to see Sha'ira."

Liara pulled her hands back. "You are going to see the consort?"

"I have some business with her, yes..."

"I see. Well, I suppose I deserve that. If you will excuse me, I have some things to tend to of my own." With that, she stood and quickly walked out the door.

Jane stood up and tried to grab at the asari. "Wait, Liara… What? Hold on a…" She was gone.

_Wow, that went horribly wrong. She thinks that I am going to Sha'ira for… Oh man, that was a Danger-class fuck up. So much for the honest approach.  
><em>

She sank back into the chair and put her head in her hands.

_Why does this just keep getting worse and worse? We should be enjoying our happily ever after, not fighting because she thinks I want to see a prostitute. She can't possibly think that… Damn it, why am I having these ridiculous visions! Why is all of this happening to me? Why can't I just be normal, like everyone else, and have a normal relationship, without all this other extraneous bullshit ruining my day?_

Jane leaned back in her chair and looked at the ceiling.

_I just have absolutely no luck with women whatsoever. Well, there is nothing more I can do here. I need to go get these visions under control, and then I'll go see Liara and explain that I didn't want to sleep with Sha'ira. She'll be calmed down later. _

Commander Jane Shepard stood up, rubbed her eyes as if it would make the bad dream go away, and then headed for the Citadel.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay storage area<strong>

_So, she is going to see the Consort. _

_I'm sure it's not what you think._

_And I'm sure it's exactly what I think. What would you know, anyway?_

Liara was pacing the small room, furious. She kept glancing at the door, waiting and hoping for Jane to burst through it, telling her it wasn't what she thought, but Jane never came.

_Because she is in the Consort's arms right now, not mine. _

_Well if she is, Liara, you did bring it on yourself. For the record, I don't think that's what she's doing though. _

She sat on the small cot that served as a bed. It wasn't large, but it had managed to accommodate her and Jane without too much trouble. She lay down and closed her eyes. Jane's scent lingered, even days after she had spent the night.

_I wish she were here. She should be here in my arms, not out wandering the Citadel. She should not be with… her._

_No, she shouldn't be. I'm sure it's not what you think, though._

_And how would you know?_

_Because I know love, and Jane is in love with you. She's going to wait for you._

_Then why does she need to see this so called consort?_

_That, I don't know. Maybe you should have asked her, instead of storming out? _

_That's not fair. _

_Perhaps it isn't, but I doubt she is going there for what you think. She is a complex woman, but she is a loyal one._

"I do not believe you, and I want you out of my head. Jane has gone to see the Consort, and that asari has been known to make people forget all of their troubles and cares. Jane will forget all about me, and all of it will have been just a big old joke on the naïve little Liara T'Soni. Leave me alone."

_I'll leave you alone, Liara. But just remember, don't waste time. That's all I ask of you. Don't waste time…_

"I am not the one wasting time. I am the one, waiting, while she allows another to take care of what I should be tending to."

Liara turned on her side, and covered herself with the blankets.

She didn't want anyone to see her cry.


	27. Chapter 26:It's your life it's your mind

**A/N **

This chapter and the chapters going forward will briefly reference pairings I originally saw in one of my favorite fictions on this site, _Lost and Found_ by SmarTPantz (Novice at best, now it seems). I do not elaborate on them; as they were her ideas and I have quite enough relationships to explore as it is; I merely reference them as the elements of her story are extremely plausible and happen to fit the time period of these events. It is a wonderful work of art, and if you are interested in knowing more about the referenced pairings I suggest you go read it. I highly recommend it.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 26: It's your life, it's your mind<strong>

**-Citadel, the Flux**

"I told you she would give you the credstick. Jane sometimes just needs a little kick in the ass."

Garrus, Tali, and Danger were all sitting around a booth at the Flux. Garrus and Tali had been shopping for weapons upgrades, and found a shop that was overjoyed to give them a significant discount on some specialty ammunition they had just gotten in stock. The turian and quarian had gotten quite a few good deals, and when they were done shopping Tali had contacted Danger to see if she was around.

"You were right. She gave up the credstick without a thought," commented Garrus.

Tali just nodded, and smiled behind her mask. "Yes, you do know how to manipulate the commander…"

Danger grinned. "Well, Jane is pretty easy. She's definitely low maintenance, if you take my meaning."

Tali cocked her head quizzically. "Hmm. Were you and the commander involved, Danger?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous. I've known Jane since she was a scrawny little kid. And believe me, she was a scrawny little kid once." Danger grinned mischievously. "No, Jane and I have just been buddies for years. The thought never even occurred to me, though apparently it seems to have occurred to everyone else."

"Well, you and she do have a very familiar way of communicating."

"I have a familiar way of communicating with you too, Tali, and we aren't involved."

"No… No we aren't." Garrus thought he detected a hint of regret in her voice, but Danger didn't seem to pick up on it.

"So, what are we going to do today? Wanna spy on Jane?"

"How?" Tali asked.

"I heard from a buddy she came to the Citadel, alone, to see the consort of all things. I bet you I can bug her offices. We can take bets on whether or not Jane scores!"

"Danger, that's a horrible thought! What about Liara?" Tali actually looked as though she disapproved. It was hard to tell though, under her mask.

"Oh stop it, Tali. Jane isn't going to sleep with that cohort or whatever she calls herself. I'll bet she went there to get her head on straight, and sort out her feelings for Liara. It would be fun to find out though, wouldn't it?"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Danger."

"You guys are no fun! All right, fine. What do you want to do then?"

"Well, there is an electronics showing down in the technology district. There might be something there useful to my pilgrimage, and there might be something interesting for your cars."

"Well it doesn't sound quite as fun as spying on Jane, but hey, why not? Let's go!" Danger stood and held out her arm. The quarian linked her own through it, and Danger looked back at Garrus. "You coming, big guy? I got another arm you know." She held out the other one to the tall turian.

"You know what? I think I'm going to pass on this one. That asari over there has been eyeing me since we got here. You two go on and have some fun."

Danger shrugged, and said, "Ok well come find us if you strike out."

Garrus smiled, and turned back to his drink. There hadn't been an asari in the bar all day.

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Consort Reception area<br>**

"I need to see the Consort."

"Yes, just let me check the schedule. Ah. We can get you an appointment in four months and three days from now."

Commander Jane Shepard rolled her eyes. "You don't understand. This isn't… one of those kinds of visits. This is something important."

"All of our clients are important Commander." She held up a finger and cocked her head to the side, indicating the human to wait a moment. "Yes, yes of course. Well, it appears that you have gotten the Consort's attention yet again. She will see you now, and has ordered her schedule cleared for the day."

Jane bumped her fist off the podium. "Perfect. Thanks."

Jane adjusted her uniform, and ascended the stairs to the Consort's Chambers.

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Consort's Chambers<strong>

"Please, have a seat Commander."

Jane took a seat on one of the plush couches in the spacious room and waited for the asari to address her again. Sha'ira had her back to the human, so Jane couldn't see the expression on her face. She did, however, sense something wrong in the air. Sha'ira knew something, and she wasn't pleased.

The asari turned to the commander. "I know why you are here. Shiala sent a message. It wasn't a long one; she knows I prefer brief and to the point communications. All she sent was, 'Commander Jane Shepard, Liari N'Vara'. Of course, that one name was enough to make me drop everything and immediately contact her to find out everything she knew. So, I guess you know the story then?"

Jane nodded her head. "I don't know all of it, though."

"You know enough of it," the Consort stated as she turned away again. "Just knowing the name and who is associated with it is too much already." The tall asari moved toward a window, and closed the blinds. "I can fill in the blanks for you."

"I'm not here to understand the missing pieces, Sha'ira. I'm here because I need to lock these memories away from Liara T'Soni."

"Liara." The consort shook her head and leaned forward against the glass window. "I begged her not to use that name, but Benezia was stubborn. She was also foolish, and maybe a little naïve. She was certainly in pain and not thinking clearly." Sha'ira left the window and crossed the room, taking a seat across from the commander. "Jane Shepard, to lock away these memories you must understand the events surrounding them. I can help you learn to control your thoughts and hide portions away, but I fear that it will be more difficult than a simple on and off switch. Liari N'Vara was a very mysterious individual, and Benezia was one of the most powerful mentalists of our time. The two of them creating a child was an unprecedented event, and Liara will have very strong empathic abilities."

Jane thought about her first melding with the young asari, and how it had weakened her.

_I wonder if it's because of her lineage. It sounds like she is the victim of a legacy that has transcended the barriers of the normal intellect. She has no idea how to control it. Maybe that's how she sensed all that about Danger, and Tali, and… Oh hell. This just got a lot more complicated._

"I don't really understand, Sha'ira."

"And you wouldn't. This is a story that stretches back centuries, and is a tale of such pain and betrayal that you would think it was only a fantasy in some twisted author's imagination. But it is not. It is a tale of love, and loss, and the inevitable rise and fall of a leader. I was there, through all of it. I helped Benezia cover up what she did, and I helped her hide the identity of her daughter's second parent."

The asari took a deep breath. "I am not proud of my role in it, but it was necessary. Liara T'Soni needed to be raised by blood, not thrust into some group home or placed with a foster family of some other species. We had to protect Benezia and her legacy. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning."

Sha'ira closed her eyes, and called forth images from the centuries gone by. "What I am about to show you, Shepard, is for your eyes only. I will help you to lock away your visions, but you must have the entire story first. Relax. Embrace Eternity."

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Visions<strong>_

"_Terriana L'Niari."_

"_That would never work out. She's already being prepped for very important things. You wouldn't be able to fit her into the role you want her in. I doubt very highly that she would be interested anyway. She appears to not be interested in anybody, at all."_

"_Nassana Dantius"_

"_Now you are just being ridiculous. I wouldn't accept that trollop into this family if she was the last available sentient being in the universe and you know it."_

_She snickers. She __**is **__just being ridiculous with that suggestion. "Well then, what do you think of that writer? Liari N'Vara? I understand she isn't bonded yet."_

"_Sister, she is too bizarre for you. She spends almost all of her time traveling the stars and writing. You would never see her. Besides, she speaks of a great love in all of her journals. She is clearly already interested in someone very special and is therefore immune to your charms."_

"_No one is immune to my charms, Sha'ira." _

_I smile at my younger sibling. Jennestia was a marvelous sight to behold, and the two of us had been dubbed the most desirable asari in the galaxy. We were very different, though, Shepard. Jennestia was starting to feel her clock ticking, and was thinking about settling down, while I knew that life committed to one partner was not for me. I had a different calling. Though we two looked almost identical, save our facial markings, we couldn't have been more different. Still, I want to see my younger sister happy, and so I am helping the girl to select a bondmate. Normally, this task would have been left to our mother. Our mother is gone, however, and so as the eldest female of the house, the burden falls to me. _

"_There are some who are immune to them."_

"_Hmm... Well then how about your friend, that commando? Benezia T'Soni, she's rather attractive."_

"_She's a possibility, but are you sure you want to be involved with a commando? They lead very dangerous lives."_

"_Oh, it would be perfect. I will be a great and wise matriarch, and she will be my protector. Matriarchs often bond with their Commando bodyguards, do they not?"_

"_They do. You sound so sure that she would choose you though."_

"_Of course I am sure. Who wouldn't jump at the chance of a lifetime spent with me?"_

"_Sister, you are too confident. It is starting to turn into a somewhat unattractive arrogance. Tread carefully, my love." I write some notes on a datapad and then turn the machine off. "Very well then. I will contact Benezia and present your offer. We will see how it is received. I hope she receives it well. The sooner you are bonded off, the better. I cannot stay here babysitting you forever. I have my own callings to attend to."_

"_You do not babysit me," she says with a smile as she kneels on the bed and starts hitting me with a pillow._

"_Ha, you see?" I reply, fending off the blows. "You don't even act your age." I grab my own pillow and start hitting the younger asari back. "You are still but a child. A great and wise matriarch indeed! You shouldn't even be thinking of this; you are barely mature enough to be off leading strings."_

"_I can think of whatever I want. I'm certainly old enough to be thinking about bonding. Just because you want to remain elusive and mysterious doesn't mean we all want to wake up with empty arms. Think of how perfect it will be. Matriarch Jennestia and her protector, Commando Benezia. I will bear many children, and name them all Sha'ira!"_

"_You wouldn't dare!"_

"_I would!"_

* * *

><p>The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>My sister wishes to meet with you."<em>

"_Jennestia? What could __**she**__ possibly want, Sha'ira?"_

_She looks shocked, and I am not surprised. Benezia is approaching matriarchal years, and my sister is barely halfway through her matron stage. Still, such bondings are not uncommon nor necessarily frowned upon, and the T'Soni name is solid and strong and would add honor to our already respected house._

"_She has an offer for you."_

"_You can't be serious."_

"_Benezia, believe me when I say I wish I wasn't. My sister wishes to be bonded, and your name came up on the list of candidates."_

"_How… romantic. She does realize how old I am, right?"_

"_You know my sister. She isn't interested in real romance. She wishes to be bonded, and she wishes to bear many children. She even threatened to name them all Sha'ira."_

"_Oh dear, who could want to unleash that horror upon the universe?"_

_She is sarcastic, but she is also right. Jennestia is young, so young. She could still be considered a maiden, by the way she behaves. It is a silly notion, to name all her children Sha'ira._

"_She has expressed an interest in extending this offer to you. Will you consider it?"_

"_I… I need some time. I never expected this. I'm already… there is someone already. But it's… It's complicated."_

"_I didn't realize that you were involved with someone, Benezia. If that is the case, then ignore everything I have just said. Jennestia was merely going down the list of the most attractive and available asari to bond to."_

_I suspect I know who she is interested in already, but it is not my place to pry. Sometimes I wonder whether or not things would have turned out differently, if I __**had**__ pried, and done it long before this. I can see now that perhaps I should have gotten involved. If you are here and asking these questions, Shepard, it means that sooner or later, the truth will come out. And perhaps… perhaps it's time it did… Liari N'Vara deserves a better legacy than the one that Benezia and I gave to her. She deserves, at least, for her daughter to have the choice whether or not to bear her name…._

"_There is someone, but I don't know if it will ever be… I need some time. I need to see whether there is a chance or it is all in my head. Must I give my answer this moment?"_

"_Of course not. I am scheduled to travel to the Citadel to oversee the construction of my new offices there. Take your time, and contact me when you have decided. It won't kill Jennestia to cool her heels for a few years. Frankly, I don't think she is really taking this whole selection process seriously anyway."_

_And she wasn't. My sister wasn't interested in love or romance. The only romance that interested her was the imagery of the wise matriarch and the powerful commando couple, and as long as she had that, it didn't matter whether the two actually loved each other. I sense that Benezia realized this as well, and wanted to give true love one more chance before resigning herself to such a fate. I didn't blame her, Shepard. If she could have a chance at happiness, she deserved it. Oh, she would have been content enough with my sister, but she would never have been truly happy. _

_Benezia was a good friend for many years, and she had helped my family out with many complicated issues. She deserved a little time to consider the proposal._

"_Thank you, Sha'ira. I will give you my answer soon."_

* * *

><p>The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>I knew you would say no." And I did know. I had always suspected that there was more between her and the writer, but Liari was always so vague in her journals and Benezia always so protective of her inner thoughts that one could never be sure. It may have taken her three years to come to the realization and make her feelings known to the poet, but what is that human saying, better late than never? My sister would have to find another commando to fit into her fantasy.<em>

"_I had to. It was a lovely offer, but I have loved her for too long, and wanted this for too long. Now I have everything."_

"_I see that you are happy. Don't worry about Jennestia. We barely even got halfway down the list. There are plenty of other eligible asari for her to attach herself to. Poor things…"_

_She laughs, and it's a beautiful sight. Do you see it, Shepard? Do you see how she looked, when she was filled with joy and the love of her mate, and the expectation of their child? Do you see her beauty, her elegance? That was the Benezia T'Soni that the universe deserved, not the battered and broken woman that we got. I had never seen Benezia laugh before that day, not truly laugh in joy. Something had changed in her, Shepard. Something was different after she joined with Liari. She wasn't the same as before. She was no longer lost, she now had a purpose. I could not begrudge her the life she had been wishing for her entire existence. As much as I wanted to see my sister settled so I could pursue my own goals, I could not be angry with Benezia for turning down the offer._

"_Ah, I am sure that your sister will find great joy in whoever she decides to bond to. She is a wonderful child."_

"_She is a pain in the ass. Do you know she actually suggested Nassana?"_

"_That crone? Well, she certainly __**is**__ more impressed with the illusion than the reality." _

_She smiles, and it lights up her face. Do you see the difference, Shepard? This is the look of a woman who is so deeply in love that she would give up anything to hold on to it. It's the look of a woman who owns the entire universe. _

"_I'm leaving the commandos."_

"_That is not surprising. I can feel the life growing inside of you from here, Benezia. Now is as good a time as any to make a change."_

_She nods, and I sense a hesitation. _

"_I don't think she is going to stop traveling."_

"_Have you asked her?"_

"_No, not yet. It has only been one day since… Well I should give her a little time yet, in case she wants to back out. This…" She brushes her hand lightly against her belly, and the life growing within. "This I took from her. We didn't talk about it."_

"_I see. She could have stopped it, you know."_

"_Could she?" She rounds on me, and I know I am caught. "You know the strength of my mind better than anyone else, lover."_

_Are you surprised, Shepard? Don't be. We all spent many centuries together, and it was a very brief period in time. We were not in love, for I knew even then her heart belonged to another. In addition to that, my calling was different, and it was just a few brief summers under the shade of a tree on our home planet, while Benezia sorted out her life and her true desires. We were just passing the time, finding what small comfort we could in each other's arms. It meant nothing, to either of us, in the end._

"_That was many years ago, Benezia. What is it that is bothering you, to make you bring up the past?"_

_She sighs, do you see it? I have hit somewhere close to home._

"_Sha'ira, I took this from her. I didn't even ask. I just, I laid there and took it from her. I've never even thought about doing such a thing before."_

"_Benezia, I don't think you took anything from her that she wasn't already interested in giving. What did she say afterward?"_

_A shadow crosses her face, and I sense she isn't convinced. There is something eating away in her head, but it's her life, Shepard. It's her mind. The choices that she makes… are hers. _

"_She was wonderful afterward. She curled around me, and swore to love me through every age. It was more than I was ready for, and much more than I deserved."_

"_Now why do you think that, Benezia?"_

_She looks at me, and I know why she feels unworthy. Liari was a unique soul. She traveled the galaxy, seeking treasures that she brought back here to Thessia... that she brought back here to Benezia. She wrote about her trips, some of the most romantic and exotic places you could imagine, filled with all manner of beauty and sin. Yet, her entire life, she had loved only one woman. She had saved all of it, for only one woman, and while she was traveling the stars and writing about her longing to be forever by the side of her love, Benezia was lying in my arms, and fighting with Samara over petty conquests. In retrospect, the whole thing really was quite ridiculous. _

_Hmm… You do not know Samara. It is just as well. You do not… want to know Samara. Do not let it distract you, Shepard. These names are just echoes of an age long since passed, of a time that is much better left behind and forgotten. _

"_She opened herself to me, Sha'ira. I saw everything; she hid nothing from me, nothing at all. And there was no one else, not even one small fling. There has been no one else, over all these long centuries. All of this time she was traveling the stars, she never… not once… I had to lock away my mind from her. I was too ashamed."_

"_I see. It was her life, Benezia. The choices that she made were hers."_

"_I should have made the same choices." She is quiet, and she looks at the ground. I do not know what to say to make her feel better, or to convince her that she is in fact worthy and deserving of the love of the near-fabled Liari N'Vara. _

"_You couldn't have known."_

"_No, I should have known, Sha'ira. I never read those journals she published. I was always too afraid of what I would see in them, of what love and conquests she had been enjoying out there, away from me and my boring life at the university. I joined the commandos because I thought it would excite her. I convinced myself that she could never be interested in me, and so I just… I made some very bad choices that I regret, Sha'ira."_

_It doesn't sting, Shepard. Don't worry. We were already long past that point, and I understood what she was saying. All that time had passed, and she had never read one of those journals, because of petty fear. She wasted so much time, when she could have known for sure, had she just picked up one novel and saw how Liari was reaching out for her. And Liari? Well, she must have assumed that Benezia did in fact, read the journals, and her lack of acknowledgement was indifference or disinterest. It's impossible to know what was in Liari N'Vara's mind. I admit that I did not know the woman very well. She spent very little time on the planet here, even in those days, and what time she did spend here was usually with Benezia. _

"_Perhaps, but what I don't understand is why it all matters now. You clearly spent a very close night together, and you are carrying her child. Say what you will, I don't think you forced it of her. She has loved you for centuries, and you might have known it ages ago if you hadn't been so fearful of rejection. Why dwell on the past? You didn't make choices that would prevent you from pursuing this with Liari. You didn't bond to any of us, and it is all ancient history now. Why torture yourself?"_

_She is still looking at the ground. She hears the wisdom in my words, but something is whispering in her mind. That's the problem with genius, Shepard. It's a fine line to walk and a very short step into the realm of madness. She spoke truthfully about the power of her mind, and she also spoke truthfully in that I knew it better than any other. I could see already the seeds of discord taking root, and I was frightened for my friend. _

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Awakenings<strong>__  
><em>

Commander Jane Shepard opened her eyes and felt the consort was close to her. She looked over to find the woman had moved to sit beside her, and was resting her head on the human's shoulder. She leaned against Jane almost nonchalantly, with her arms draped across the tall soldier's torso. Jane could feel the asari's breath lightly on her neck, and something stirred deep in her belly…

"Your mind is getting stressed, and I know that these visions can take a toll on you," Sha'ira whispered. "You are incredibly powerful and complex, but I fear that if we push too hard, you will start to unravel. Please, go and rest, and return here tomorrow. I will show you more when you return."

Jane just nodded, and wondered how the asari could have moved so close without her realizing it.

_It must have something to do with the melding. I didn't hear her get up. It's strange… I wish there was some other way than to let these asari get into my head. They crawl inside you and you are just never the same again._

She started to get up, but the asari's arms held her in place for a moment. "Shepard, I suggest you stay on the Citadel tonight. Until we are finished, you need to maintain a distance from Liara."

Jane nodded again. "Ok, I will see if my buddy Danger can get me set up somewhere." _Why is she so close? Surely she didn't need to come so close to show me these visions. _

Jane lingered a moment more, and the asari didn't seem to mind.

_Get up, Jane. It's time to leave…._

There was something different about the way the consort was leaning against her. It didn't feel like it did with Liara. With Liara, it was sort of a tentative longing; a bittersweet acquiesce. With this woman, Jane felt something completely different radiating from the asari's skin.

_Experience. She's not a naïve young scientist, fumbling through her first sexual encounter. This is a woman of the world, who has had the love and adoration of many. This is a woman of power, and you need to get up and out of her arms before you do something you'll regret…_

Jane felt the consort's amusement at her indecision, and closed her eyes.

_This can't be happening. I need to get out of this room. The air is stifling…_

Suddenly, the asari withdrew her arms and moved away from the commander.

"I can see I have awakened more than old memories, Commander Shepard. I would be lying if I said I wasn't… curious… but I'm not in the business of forcing more than is requested or required. Go now, and I will see you tomorrow. Stop by in the afternoon, and I will show you the last days of Liari N'Vara, and the fall from grace of Benezia T'Soni."

Jane stood, exhaled sharply, and nearly ran out of the room.


	28. Chapter 27: Pizza can fix anything

**Chapter 27: Pizza can fix anything**

**-Citadel, Danger's Safe House**

Jane settled into a sofa at the apartments that Danger kept on the Citadel. She had contacted Chief Williams to let her know that she would be staying ashore for at least the next night, and then had sought out her mercenary friend to see if she still had a safe house on the space station. In the line of work Danger was in, she needed to keep places like this in multiple locations. This one was rented under the alias Dolores O'Riordan, an Irish name that the mercenary used when she needed to get into upper class establishments.

Jane had found her friend, arm in arm with Tali in the technology district, looking at what seemed to be some sort of mechanical engines. She thought about what Liara had said, but after watching the two from a distance she decided that it wasn't the time or place to make a big scene. Jane would chat with Tali later on, in private. As for Danger, she didn't think that the mercenary was attempting to seduce the quarian. Her direction toward Tali was familiar, but it was a friendly kind of familiar. It certainly wasn't the terrified and nervous way she behaved when Terriana was around.

No, the mercenary was merely finding some small comfort in the girl's companionship, and Tali seemed to be enjoying herself as well. As long as Jane could get through to the quarian and make sure that she knew that friendship was probably as far as that relationship was ever going to go, everything would be fine.

_We'll drop Darla off on Omega after the next games, and maybe Liara and I will stop by after we visit Virmire and check up on her. _

That decided, Jane relaxed and took in her surroundings. She wasn't really surprised by the décor. It was a pretty standard safe house, with nothing that could positively identify her friend. There were some generic posters on the walls, and the furniture was made of basic materials, albeit quality ones. There were random datapads strewn all over the place, and Jane thought she saw at least one disassembled PDA and some sort of carved staff in a corner. Yes, it was just a typical safe house, but it was clean and dry and would serve well enough while she sorted out what exactly was going on.

_Some things never change. This is exactly what her office was like back on Earth. She really doesn't keep much around her. I wonder if it's because she's never really felt she had a home. I guess I know how she feels though. I don't really have much in my quarters either. It's funny how you never stop to think about it until suddenly, your life isn't just about you anymore._

Jane Shepard had a lot to think about. Her visit to the Consort had left her with many more questions than answers. The revelations about Liara's lineage were disturbing, and she struggled with whether or not to tell the young woman what she had learned. There was a part of her that felt it was her responsibility, but another part argued that she still needed to get the entire story and learn how to control her thoughts before she could make any solid decisions. It was a heavy burden to bear, and for the first time in her life, Jane thought she might actually be in over her head.

_All this time and Benezia had never mentioned any of it to Liara. She never once mentioned that she mated with one of the most celebrated artists in asari culture. Benezia never told the child that her second parent travelled the stars and dug for treasures of the past, just like Liara does now. She never mentioned that the poet had wanted Liara more than anything, and that she had vowed to love her mate for all the ages. She never thought to tell Liara that her 'father' wasn't ashamed of their union, or that she herself was in love with her partner for centuries. Did it never occur to her that these revelations would be important to her daughter? Did she not see the pain that Liara was in, thinking that she was unwanted because of her parents both being asari?_

_You know, for all the supposed taboo and discouragement of asari exclusive pairings, there sure do seem to be an awful lot of them… especially among the important and prominent ones._

Jane had originally thought that she saw a lot of Benezia in Liara's features, but now, she realized it was more Liari than anything else. Liari was softer somehow, less harsh and rigid. Her face wasn't so angular, no doubt because instead of training as a commando she merely exercised her wrist as she penned her journals.

_Liara is soft like that as well. She has that same kindness in her face, and quiet loneliness that I saw in Liari's expressions. I wish there had been more visions from the writer's point of view. I wonder why there weren't? She seems like such a fascinating woman; I wish I knew more about her. Liara would have loved her, and I'm sure that they would have been inseparable. The poet probably would have taken her child on digs the second she was old enough to hold a hand shovel. I should ask Sha'ira about that. Maybe she can help me to find more visions about the mysterious writer._

Sha'ira. That was a situation all in itself, and one that could turn complicated at any moment. Jane hoped that in their next session, the asari would keep her distance.

_Unlikely, though. It's possible she didn't even realize she was doing it. When I heard her voice in my mind, addressing me, it was so familiar and felt as though it belonged there, and I wasn't someone just watching an event unfold from the outside. She and I were a part of each other, witnessing the past if we were just, on a date at the movies. Still, what was it she said? She was… curious? I wonder what exactly she meant by that. What could she possibly be curious about? She was showing me visions, but was she searching through my memories at the same time? What was she looking for, if anything?_

Jane tried to remember if she felt any hint of a violation, but it was all unclear. She couldn't tell if the asari had seen anything additional that Jane might not have consciously allowed.

_Well, she is certainly a more powerful empath than Liara or Shiala. Perhaps she learned from Benezia. That seems plausible, anyway. If they were lovers, surely she would have picked up a few tricks. _

Jane shook her head and tried not to let her mind wander there. It was difficult though. Sha'ira was an extraordinarily beautiful specimen of asari, and Benezia herself was extremely attractive. The thought that the two of them had been lovers, even for a brief time, was enough to awaken a slight warmth deep in the commander's belly.

_It's amazing how they all swapped partners around, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And the arranged marriages… well that's quite interesting too. They have so much time to experience each other and enjoy life. I wonder how many lovers the average asari will have in her lifetime. I wonder how many Liara will have in hers…_

That wasn't a road she wanted her thoughts to travel down. Jane had never considered herself much of the jealous type, but the thought of Liara with someone else awakened something vicious in her. Luckily, just then the door opened and her mercenary friend walked in, apparently done with her shopping trip with Tali. The soldier could deal with her jealous thoughts later. Jane ran to the door to help Danger with what looked like a very heavy slab of metal.

"Danger, what the hell is this thing?"

"Ugh, just hold on it's not balancing on this stupid cart properly. Hold on."

The mercenary crouched down and put her back against the circular metal structure, and pushed with all her strength. She heard an audible click, and the device, whatever it was, slid back into place on the cart. Danger stood back up and started pushing it again.

"This thing is filthy, Danger. What the hell are you bringing it here for?" Jane started to wipe her hands on her trousers, and then thought better of it and wiped them on Danger's trousers instead.

"Hey!" Danger grinned. "Quit making passes at me! I'm so not your type."

"What the hell is this thing, Danger?"

"Oh this is perfect. It's just what I needed. I blew a transmission out on Thessia and had to leave my rover on a mountain. I can't believe I found this model in such great condition!"

"That, is great condition?" Jane asked, looking at the pile of grease and metal.

"You bet it is."

"Why did you bring it here?"

"Well, I thought about having it delivered to Thessia, but I don't want to send the wrong message to the matriarch. I don't want to… Interrupt anything… by sending packages to the compound you know. So, I figure I'll just hang onto it until Ned gets here with the Colloquia and then store it on there. You don't have to drop me off at Omega, Jane. We'll finish up the war game, and I'll have Ned take me to get my rover off that mountain, and the rest of my cars before I head out there."

"Speaking of which, aren't you supposed to be going rogue? You can't very well go rogue if you can't stay away from Tali and Garrus!"

"What can I say, we are kindred spirits! Hey, I don't know what to tell you. I like Tali, and Garrus is one hell of a guy. Don't worry, you are still getting kidnapped. It just might not be by me." Danger winked at her friend. "Or maybe, I'll kidnap Tali too. That would be interesting!"

"Don't go there, Danger. Just do me a favor, and don't go there."

Danger sighed. "Don't worry Jane, I know my boundaries. Tali is a sweet girl, but I don't think either of us are getting 'that' vibe. It's too bad, you know. I definitely have more in common with her than with the matriarch, but I guess these things don't work that way."

Jane thought about Liari and Benezia, about herself and Liara, and about Danger and Terriana. Truthfully, none of them had anything in common. All of them were just cruelly thrust together by seemingly random twists of fate. "No, I guess they don't, Danger. So why didn't you take this thing down to the garages?"

"Well, I didn't want anyone to steal it."

Jane just started at her friend blankly, slowly blinking her eyes.

"Jane, you have no idea how valuable one of these in this condition is! Here, help me put it in that corner."

Jane grabbed a shirt that was hanging over a counter, and used it to shield her hands from the grease bomb.

"There, that's perfect. How about I order out some pizza or something? It will be just like old times!"

"Sounds great, Danger."

"So, why are you staying here anyway? I would think you'd rather be hanging out with Liara." Danger took a seat across from her friend, and started punching things into her Omni-tool. "Sausage and peppers, right?"

Jane nodded. "Well, that's one of the reasons I asked you to come here. I went to see the Consort today."

"Yea, we know all about it. I wanted to bug her offices to see if you were going to score, but Tali wouldn't let me."

"You wanted to… Danger, trust me when I say that is one place you don't want to put a bug in. That woman is… unusual."

"So did you score?"

"What? No, Danger, I did not 'score'. I went there to try to sort out… Something that's been going on."

"I know what has been going on. Liara is titblocking you that's what's going on."

Jane shook her head. "What? Where did you pick up that kind of language?"

"Well, to be fair that's not the proper term, but it's a heck of a lot cleaner than what I could have said." Danger grinned idiotically.

"Danger, could you be serious for five minutes? Just five minutes, in your entire life?"

"Wow, yea sure Jane. What's been going on?"

"I went to Sha'ira because I've been having these visions. It's not the Prothean visions; these are visions about Liara's parents."

"What do you mean by 'visions'?"

"They are apparently some sort of genetic memories getting passed into me sometimes when I touch her. It's bad, Danger. It's really bad what happened back then. The visions started with Liara's parents' first night together, and ended with some terrible imagery of Matriarch Benezia beating herself up over apparently killing her mate."

"How mysterious and spidery of her. Wait, did you say you saw their first night together? Liara is a pureblood, right? That means her other parent is an asari too. Were they hot? Jane, you can't keep this to yourself. It would be a public disservice!"

"Danger!"

Danger leaned back on the couch she was seated on. "What? My five minutes of seriousness has to be up by now."

"I'm not going to tell you about it, so forget it."

"Fine, I have an imagination, I know what goes on." She waved a hand dismissively. "Ok, so you had these visions, they showed you hot sex and a great tragedy, and what does all of this have to do with the Consort? It had better be good, because I heard a rumor that Liara is pitching a fit over you going to see her."

"I went to see Shiala the other day to sort out the visions and try to figure out how to hide them from Liara in case we… Well just in case, and she suggested I go to see Sha'ira."

"What is with their names? Gosh. How can you keep them all straight?"

"Danger, please. Anyway I went to go see her, and apparently, it goes even deeper than I thought. Sha'ira was involved with it all, and she's been filling in the blanks for me. She and Benezia were lovers or something, apparently all of them played the field, and then there is this one mysterious asari that no one knows anything about, aside from a published set of letters, at the center of it all."

"Well, no one said relationships would be easy. This is what you get for letting all those asari crawl around in your head. I told you no good could come of going blue!"

"You said no such thing, and it's just Liara. I didn't get any genetic memories from Shiala, or Sha'ira, or Terriana, or any of the hundreds of asari that trampled me in bars trying to get to you. Just, Liara."

"Ok, so what does it all mean? And I resent the comment about hundreds of them in bars. It's thousands, at least." Danger lazily ran her fingers through her hair.

"That's what I am trying to find out. I have to go back to see her tomorrow. She told me to stay away from Liara until she can give me the whole story and train me on how to keep the memories hidden."

"Wait, so you don't want to tell her about it?"

"Not yet. I don't fully understand what happened, and Benezia kept it secret for a reason. I am not sure I want to be the bearer of such bad news, you know? Danger, you wouldn't believe the things I saw in this other asari's mind. She was so sweet, and kind and she loved Benezia her entire life. She wanted Liara more than anything, and she was just thrown away like garbage. How could Liara understand and forgive her mother for taking that from her? And Liara is so much like her too, her facial features, her love of digging up ruins in remote areas of space… It all fits and it's all so, just so sad."

Danger nodded. "Well, if you don't want her to know, then she won't hear it from me. I do think that you should at least call her tonight. I took Tali and Garrus back to the ship before picking up my transmission, and she was talking to Williams in the garage. She didn't look happy, and I'm guessing it's because you aren't coming back tonight. You know what she thinks _that's_ all about…"

"Yea, but it's not. Obviously," Jane replied, gesturing to Danger's mess in the corner. "Listen, can you go and talk to her? I'm not sure that I even want to contact her over the com. She and I are linked somehow, and I feel her reaching out looking for me. I don't know how to block her out yet, so distance is the only thing that I can use."

"Yea, I'll go talk to her right after dinner. I'll set her straight."

"Thanks, Danger."

Danger got up and answered the door. Their pizza had arrived.

"I'm starved. Here Jane, there's your half." She turned the pizza box around, and she and Jane scooted up to it like they did when they were back on Earth, in the old days.

"I'll never understand how you can eat that without cheese. You know it's not like it used to be. There's no cruelty now." Jane looked at Danger's half, covered with every imaginable vegetable available, but no meat or cheese.

"I don't care. I don't want to eat it, and you can never convince me to. I don't put anything on my plate that had a face, or came from something that had a face. It's why I'm nearly six feet tall and you're still a shrimp." Danger grinned at her friend.

"You're nearly six feet tall because you are a freak of nature."

"That's entirely beside the point."

"Well, this shrimp can still kick your ass. How's that eye, by the way?"

"Incredibly sexy, I'll have you know. I think it adds to my image. It makes me even more dangerous. I'm thinking of making it a permanent addition to my look." Danger tilted her head to show off her bruise.

"That's a scary thought. It looks awful. You should have iced it."

"What, and have it heal? No thanks. I want to keep this for as long as possible. It's not every day you get smacked around by Commander Jane Shepard."

"You're hopeless."

"Yea well, physical pain sometimes helps to mask… other… sorts of pain you know.

Suddenly Jane understood. That's why Danger didn't ice the wound. The mercenary wasn't a cutter, but she wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to use an event that was outside of her control to help her cope with the pain of her loss. Jane started to feel a little guilty again. Danger was so good at masking her real feelings that sometimes the commander completely forgot the reason her friend was even here.

"Are you ok?"

"Never better."

_Liar. But as usual, she isn't going to open up to me. I wonder why that is… _

"So that piece of shit is really going to fix your rover?"

"It sure is. That thing could probably power the CamMech. They stopped making them because of a flaw in the flywheel design, but I found a way around that a decade ago. It will take me a day to open it up and correct the problem, but I'll deal with that when I get back to Thessia."

Jane thought she saw something change in Danger's expression, but the mercenary covered it back up almost immediately.

"Danger, are you sure you are ok?"

"Jane, I'm fine. I'm going to go check on Liara. I'll see you tomorrow. And if you score with the Consort, I want pictures! Hell, see if she will give you some pictures even if you don't score. Some real naughty ones! I could use a lesson in asari physiology. Here, give me a couple slices of that. Your girl is probably starving herself in protest of your neglect."

Jane threw a crust at Danger as the laughing mercenary ran out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay Storage area<strong>

Jane wasn't coming back to the ship.

Liara knew that Jane had gone to see the Consort, but she didn't think that it would be an all day and night event. Sometime during the evening, when she realized that Jane wasn't coming to her quarters, she left and went in search of the human.

_It's not what you think. She was probably just tired and went straight to bed._

But the commander wasn't in the captain's cabin.

_Maybe she is talking with Joker in the cockpit._

Jane wasn't there either.

_She could be in the garages, looking at the Mako with Danger…_

The commander was nowhere to be found. So, Liara approached Chief Williams, and did her best not to let her emotions show as the soldier informed her that Shepard had sent a message that she would be staying overnight at the Citadel.

_So it is as I feared then. _

She returned to her quarters, and stared at her console. Jane hadn't even thought to send her a message. She just passed the information on to one of her officers, and that was that. No consideration for Liara. Not even a quick note. Nothing at all. The seconds dragged on into minutes, and she didn't know how many hours had passed before she heard a knock at the door.

_A knock? It couldn't be Jane, she never knocks._

"Enter."

It wasn't Jane, it was Danger.

"Hey Liara."

"Hello Danger." Liara stood to greet the human. "What are you doing here?"

Liara was suspicious, but curious nonetheless. The mercenary had never visited her in her quarters, so this had to be something important.

"Jane wanted me to check on you. She misses you and wants you to know she didn't have sex with the consort."

_You have to admire Danger's direct approach. _

"Did you see her?"

"Yea I just got done having some pizza with her. I brought you some. She's staying at my safe house, not in the consort's chambers. She also did not have sex with the consort, in case you missed that part."

Liara had to fight a smile. Danger looked ridiculous with her black eye and lopsided grin, but there was no questioning her sincerity. She genuinely cared about the asari and didn't want to see her in pain.

"Thank you, Danger."

"Oh no problem. Listen, I know that there has been some stuff going on and you are confused, but Jane is the best woman I have ever known. You aren't going to find a more solid rock to put your back against. Don't give up on her, Liara. She's going through a lot with all this Alliance crap, and the visions, and me and everything else. It's hard on her, but one thing I do know is that right now, you are the most important thing in that woman's life. Just, don't get yourself in a knot thinking something is going on that just isn't."

Liara sat back in her chair and studied the mercenary. She picked up on something in the woman's voice. Danger was putting on a really good show, but the asari knew that's all it was: a show.

"Danger, have you spoken to Terriana since you have been here?"

"What? Where did that come from? No, I haven't spoken to her. Why would I?"

"Why would you not?"

"You mean aside from the fact I don't want to hear that stupid commando's bedroom voice in the background dragging her back to whatever debauchery they have been indulging in?"

Liara just shook her head. "You do not know if that is what is going on."

"I know enough. Why else would she hire the woman other than to fill the voids that my services didn't? Although I would have been most accommodating, had she just asked. No, she wants that commando. I guess most matriarchs bond, or whatever your equivalent of marriage is, to their commando protectors, right? It was a silly notion to think that maybe she would choose me instead."

"You are in love with her." It wasn't a question.

"I can't say it, Liara."

The asari nodded. "When did she hire the commando?"

"I don't know. I guess it was after this one night outside her offices. She was in some meeting with some diplomat or another, and well. I guess I was a little nervous and jealous cause it was really getting late, so I stationed myself outside her offices. I was going to leave if I heard anything… like that… going on. But I didn't, or they were just really quiet, and then he left, and then she opened the door and nearly ran me down afterward. She asked me why I was there, and I tried to talk my way out of it… That didn't go well. That next day, I met my replacement."

Liara considered for a moment. "Danger, it might not have been the way you are interpreting it. If you would like, I can take a look at the memory and see if there is anything there you did not pick up."

The mercenary shook her head. "It's a generous offer, Liara, and I appreciate it, but I meant what I said the first time you reached out to me. Besides, I see what it's done to Jane, having all you asari poking around in her head. I'll take a pass on it. The whole thing with the matriarch was just a silly fantasy. There is no way that someone like her would ever want… someone like me. She deserves some famous and refined diplomat, with wealth and power and respect and land, or a powerful commando warrior trained in the arts of asari warfare and destined to perform great deeds. She doesn't want a greasy mechanic who spent half her life in gangs on the streets and the other half crawling through ventilation ducts. I'm just not good enough for her."

"Danger," Liara reached out for the mercenary, but the human waved her hand away.

"Don't feel sorry for me, Liara. I brought it upon myself. All these years, I have turned down everyone that ever approached me. It's my own fault for ignoring all those offers until I had the opportunity to get into this impossible situation. I knew it was a bad idea the second I boarded that transport, and I did it anyway. I have no one to blame but myself for this silly fantasy and what happened as a result of my poor judgment."

Danger's eyes took on a faraway look, and Liara wondered if there was anything at all she could say to help the mercenary.

"But anyway," she continued, shaking her head. "I think I know what would make us both feel a lot better."

"What?"

"We should go redecorate Jane's room. She deserves it, you know. We can rearrange everything, move all the furniture and then crash on her bed and throw all the blankets on the floor. That would be a hell of a lot of fun, and better than hanging out in this storage box, don't you think?"

Liara smiled. It actually did sound like a lot of fun, and it would help her feel a little bit closer to Jane.

"Yes Danger that is a good idea. Jane deserves some payback."

"She really didn't have sex with that consort, Liara. Just between you and me, I think she's in love with you. I've known Jane a lot of years, and not once has she ever acted quite like this."

"You think so?"

"I do. She gets this dreamy look whenever she talks about you, and she just wants you to be absolutely sure of what you want. She's going to wait for you, Liara."

Liara felt a stab of guilt at the mercenary's words.

_Jane shouldn't have to wait for anything. I should be beyond this by now. I'm not exactly a child anymore. When she gets back here, I think I will have to have a very long talk with her… and maybe this time it won't end with me turning away._

"Thank you Danger." Liara stood and embraced the mercenary, and Danger leaned down to hold the asari.

"Anytime, Liara. Let's go destroy Jane's room!"

Liara and Danger headed for the captain's cabin, and Danger hacked the lock. They spent the next three hours moving everything that wasn't nailed down to ridiculous locations and putting pizza crumbs into every drawer. They upended Jane's storage trunk and tied all her casualwear in knots. After a while, they fell asleep on Jane's bed, the mercenary on her back with the asari stretched across the human's stomach.

It had been a fun night.


	29. Chapter 28: It's my heart in your hands

**Chapter 28: It's my heart, in your hands**

**-Citadel, Danger's Safe house**

Jane folded up the pizza box and put it by the doorway. She would take it with her and dispose of it tomorrow when she left. For now, she just wanted to relax a little bit. She pulled out some clothing to change into from Danger's drawers and put them on. They were a little big on her, since her friend was quite a bit taller, but they fit well enough to wear to bed. She laid down on Danger's bed and closed her eyes.

_It smells like her, a mix of light raspberry and engine oil. Not entirely unpleasant. I wonder why we never did get involved. I guess we humans see relationships differently than the asari do. We just don't have the time to waste on unions that would never become long term. If Danger and I had been asari and had the luxury of a lot of time, we might have been lovers at some point. _

She lifted herself up and leaned against the headrest. The bed was comfortable, but she didn't want to fall asleep just yet.

_I hope that she was able to convince Liara that I'm behaving._

Jane took out a small datapad that she carried in her back pocket, and powered it on. She hadn't yet found the time to look at the novel, and she was a little curious about what it was in the book that had captivated the minds of so many asari. She ran her fingers down the screen, now showing the front page, wondering what the writer would have thought about this publication. There wasn't any fancy decoration or imagery, just the words _Love Letters from Liari N'Vara _on the cover_. _It was simple and elegant.

_Maybe this is the best way to learn about her. _

Jane Shepard ran her finger along the screen of the datapad, and selected a random page.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Letters<strong>_

_My dearest love, __-__,_

_Today was extraordinary. _

_The climate in this land is mild, and I do believe that it could be inhabited by our people with very little adjustment. It is a land of beauty and wonder, second only to the beauty and wonder of my love for you. I have already passed along data to our government, and I expect that they will send scouts here to explore the possibility of moving some of our people to this world. Is it not so exciting, that we live in this age, my love? Is it not all that we could have dreamed, and more? _

_Earlier this morning as I walked along a newly discovered pond, I saw the most fascinating and vicious scene unfold. My eyes were transfixed; I could not look away. I am only slightly ashamed to say that the violence awakened something primal in me, and I was reminded of your failed attempts to train me in combat. Do not despair, my love, for I treasure those lessons above all others. It is not your fault that I am inept with any weapon larger than the size of a pen. It may be just as well, for I daresay those lessons rarely ended in a way that your commando instructors originally intended. It is a mysterious thing indeed, how closely linked violence and intimacy are, and how one can turn into the other with little more than a shifting of the wind. _

_This land is inhabited by small birds that for the most part are friendly and kind to each other. However, it seemed to me that one had suffered a grave insult at the hand of another, and had decided that it was time for a lesson to be learned. Perhaps it was a territorial dispute. Perhaps it was over a personal belonging of some sort. Perhaps it was a disagreement over a mutually desired mate. I will never know what the insult itself was, but I do know the end result. _

_The bird that suffered the injury was strong and fast, and chased its enemy across the pond. When they reached the center, it dove down upon the other and forced the creature beneath the water. I was enraptured by the power and control this animal had over its flight. It doubled back and descended upon the dazed bird once more, forcing him back beneath the water just as it had resurfaced. Again, and again, it happened, until finally the other could no longer compete, and it remained flightless just barely on the surface, acquiescing defeat. It seemed to me that this was a symbolic gesture, and the stronger bird circled twice before flying off, presumably to claim its prize._

_My heart broke as I watched this scene unfold, and I thought of our government and the handling of many of the social issues plaguing our nation. Is it not almost identical to this event, the imagery of a larger predator delighting in the torment of its victim, and descending again and again until the perceived enemy's will is utterly broken? My love, we must not allow ourselves to succumb to the weavings of such evil works. The days grow longer as we age, and I am reminded of how easily some would destroy the souls of others. _

_I must rest now, for tomorrow I depart this land and will be on my way back to your arms. I pray that your day was more joyous than mine, and I count the seconds until we are together again._

_Liari_

* * *

><p>Jane Shepard looked up from the datapad. She wasn't sure quite what to make of the entry she had read. The woman was certainly eloquent, but the way she seemed almost… aroused… by the violence she had witnessed… It was bizarre indeed. She looked back at the datapad, and selected another random page.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Letters<strong>_

_My dearest love, __-__,_

_This night I am particularly lonely for you. This planet is a cold and desolate place, and I long for your embrace. I know that soon I must put my traveling days behind me, but for now, I must finish the last of my journals. It is hard to leave behind a lifetime of travel, but I vow to you that after this final journal is completed, I will say goodbye to my wandering life and remain with you for the rest of my days. _

_I came to this place expecting a much more hospitable environment. It is a wasteland. The three moons circling the land are veiled behind a soft layer of mist, and the wind blows quietly, disturbing the sand and forever rewriting the swirling patterns that hide the planet's secrets. It is almost as if this place does not wish its history told, and it is rebelling against my very presence. I sense it does not want me here._

_I am sitting outside my small ship watching the scene unfold, but the planet is not welcoming to me. The wind sears my face and no matter which direction I turn in, it feels as though it shifts to attack me. I will have to leave this place soon, __-__. I feel that something terrible happened in this land, and the world itself is trying to cover up the tale. Perhaps the inhabitants destroyed each other in some fit of madness, and the planet now weeps for the loss of life. Perhaps some great tragedy struck, and destroyed all the living beings and the wind and sand are doomed to forever search for clues to piece together the mystery of why they were left alone. Perhaps this planet was always meant to be a barren place, its ability to sustain life a cruel joke played on it by the makers of this part of the galaxy. It is impossible to tell, and the Gaia of this world does not appear to be interested in enlightening me._

_I know why you do not travel with me. Sometimes, I wish I had spoken sooner, instead of hoping that you would read my works and understand my heart. I have wasted many centuries, just hoping on little more than a prayer that you would take notice of me. If you had, and we had started our relationship ages ago, perhaps my journals would have been less about longing, and more about discovery. Perhaps you would have gone with me, and together we would have chronicled the awakening of the universe. I wonder though, would it have been like it is now? Would we have joined, like we did that night, and immediately created our daughter? Or would it have been a short-lived fling, barely worthy of remembrance? _

_Perhaps it is better that things happened the way that they did. I know that you feel your choices were unfair to me somehow, but understand that the only thing that matters to me is that you chose my legacy and no other's. I care not who you have lain with or what you have done in the past; I care only that your choices led you to my arms, where you accepted me into you and gave my legacy, and my name, a chance to live on. _

_I must rest now, but I hope that you have had a pleasant evening and that our Little Wing didn't keep you up too late with her restlessness. I picked up some interesting tea for you at the last space station I passed. The woman who sold it to me said that it was particularly good for calming children in the womb. Perhaps it will help to settle her down so she can concentrate less on getting out, and more on perfecting her body and mind. _

_I laughed out loud at that thought, my love. She is so much like you, eager to escape her cage and make her mark on the world. I hope that she inherits your beauty, and your strength. _

_Until tomorrow, _

_Liari_

* * *

><p>Jane looked up from the datapad again. It was evident in every line how much Liari loved Benezia.<p>

_What could have possibly changed that would cause Benezia to turn on her and… and… I can't even say it. It all seems so surreal. Liari looked past every flaw that Benezia had, and did not hold any of the mistakes she made in the past against her. Instead, she picked up tea at a space station for the woman, concerned that Liara was being too much of a disturbance. All that mattered to her was the chance that her name might live on. _

Jane chuckled a little. It was hard to imagine Liara as a baby, but she could definitely see the scientist being in a rush to be unleashed upon the world. Somehow, it just seemed so… Liara.

_I wonder. If Liari had lived, would I have met the asari scientist? Would she even be an asari scientist named Liara T'Soni, or would she have some other name and be pursuing some other profession…? Would Liari have convinced her mate not to use her own first name, and would they instead have named the child Benezia N'Vara? I wonder how asari choose whose surname to use. _

Jane looked back down at the datapad, and selected another random page. She was beginning to see what the asari appreciated about these letters. It was a rare glimpse into the private life of someone like Liari. The next page was difficult to read. The lettering was, just not quite the same as the elegant script of the other entries.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Letters<strong>_

_My dearest love, __-__,_

_Today was frightening. This is the kind of day that makes me weep for the universe, and fear for my soul._

_I arrived on the planet and set up a small camp as I always do. I unpacked my surveying equipment, and prepared the pack I would bring with me as I explore. Thankfully, I had brought my long range cameras on this trip, expecting to spend most of my time watching the wildlife from afar. Alas, what I witnessed was wild and untamed, but it was not the sort of wild and untamed I had hoped for on this seemingly docile and peaceful planet. _

_My love, believe me when I tell you, today a vicious beast awakened in the depths of my soul, and I never want to unleash that horror again. But what I witnessed was more than my quiet nature could allow. What I witnessed, was one of the greatest crimes against sentient life that a living being can inflict upon another. What I witnessed is too heinous to be even described using our language. But, I am getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning. _

_I climbed to the top of a small mountain, and set up my equipment. Looking down upon the valley, I breathed in the air and smiled at the peace and serenity that seemed to permeate every cell in my body. It was a beautiful place, and it was not the appropriate backdrop for what I was about to witness. As I looked through the lens across the land, a small commotion caught my eye. It appeared that this planet was inhabited, or at the very least, there were visitors here other than myself. I saw three creatures that could only be described as male, detaining one other that could only be described as female. They were not of our race, but I was too far away to positively identify what species they belonged to. _

_My love, what I saw them taking from this young girl was more than I could stand. I could hear her cries from even the far reaches of my vantage point, and in that moment I lost all sense of time and space as I flew down the mountain and tore the creatures apart with my bare hands. In that moment, I was grateful for all your attempts at teaching me combat and biotics. For my love, I have never felt such a focus of rage in my entire existence, and the only thing that kept me on this side of sanity was the grounding technique that you taught me. The rage and the bloodlust seemed to last for an age, and finally, when I was spent and my body could give no more, I collapsed on top of my victims, and slept. _

_I awoke some time later, back at my ship. The female creature, which I now realized was a young turian, had brought me back here and tended to my mangled hands. They are broken and bloody, the visage of a hideous deformity that can barely grip this pen, but she tended to them as if they were great treasures. She had been traveling with a group to visit a diplomatic office on the Citadel, and had booked passage on a vessel where the three males had served. She was the first to arrive, and they overpowered her and left the space station before the rest of her group made it to the ship. When they landed, she managed to escape the prison, but they were too fast and they caught her and… _

_They did not count on me though, my love, and they did not count on the skills I had learned from you. And now, they will never make that grave mistake again. The turian female I rescued is kin to the councilor, and the council sent a spectre to collect her. I have been pardoned my crimes, and indeed, it was all I could do to convince them to allow me to continue my travels and not have to endure the spotlight as some sort of hero. _

_In the end, they allowed me to continue my work, and I now write this to you on the eve of my departure from this place, though I do it with great pain. I do not feel like a hero, my love. I do not know what I feel like. I look at these mangled hands and wonder what could have taken over my mind so thoroughly as to give me the strength to tear down three young turian males, in the prime of their physical fitness, with no weaponry whatsoever. It is not so much unlike the nights spent with you. _

_It is the same blindness, the same spirit from another place that seems to take over and control my very movements. Do you remember a comment I made about violence and intimacy seeming to be closely linked? It feels a lot like that, my love. I find that it frightens me, and makes me worry that at any moment, the wind will shift and the demon inside will be released, and I might find that I have turned into a monster that would be better off euthanized. When you were training as a commando, were you ever tested in such a way? Were you ever presented with such a situation that was so grotesquely unjust, that you were forced to make a choice to stand idly by or allow the demon to come forth and paint the night with your blood?_

_I suppose that is not a fair question to ask of you, and I beg that you forgive me. I am unsure how you will react to me, now that you know what it is I am capable of; now that you know what I am. I am not the quiet poet that you met so many centuries ago. I am a monster. _

_And I will love you forever._

_Liari_

* * *

><p>Jane exhaled a breath she didn't even know she had been holding. That story was the last thing she would have expected from the quiet poet.<p>

_What would I have done in the situation? Would I have given into bloodlust, or would I have found a way to detain the criminals, and brought them to trial? _

Jane thought about it for a few moments.

_I would bring them to trial. The more I learn about the mysterious woman, the more I think that there is something feral in her. Maybe it's because of all the time she has spent alone, wandering the galaxy, with nothing but a few pens and some scraps of paper for company. Maybe she is just too attuned to the universe, and when one of its creatures is in pain, something inside her snaps. She might have made a fine Justicar. The training might have helped her to control it. _

A sudden thought occurred to Jane.

_I wonder if that same feral beast resides somewhere inside my Liara…_

Jane turned back to the datapad, and scrolled to the next page.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Letters<strong>_

_My dearest love, __-__,_

_I did not expect your reaction to me upon learning of the feral beast that can sometimes control my thoughts to be so compassionate. I did not expect the care, with which you tended my broken hands, nor the kindness, with which you listened to my quiet sobs, nor the ferocity, with which you commanded my body. I remain in awe of the depths of our love, and I am still not certain that I am worthy of the gift I have been given. _

_Today was a longer day than most, nearly all of it spent in quiet travel. I am almost loathe to return to the surface of another planet. It is starting to wear thin on me, and I long to be home, preparing for our daughter and enjoying my family. Still, I have one last journal to complete, and then I can close that chapter of my life forever. And my love, I want to close that chapter of my life forever. It's almost like that woman isn't me. It's… someone else that has been masquerading as me, using my name to pen her interpretation of the world, and she refuses to give in to what I need to become. She is angry with me for choosing a different life. _

_My mind is a shamble, and I worry that the feral instinct in me will pass to our daughter. I pray that she inherits your strength of will, and she is not haunted in her every step as I am. She must have the strength to control the demon. She must. It should have died with me, and it would have died with me. But now, it will live on, and it is far too late to take it back. Do not misinterpret that, my love. I do not wish to change a thing, except perhaps the evil that resides within me. I would have our daughter grow to be perfect, without the vague wonderings that plague the farthest recesses of my mind. I would have her gaze in wonder at a night sky, and not think about the horrors that are occurring beneath it; the horrors that she herself has invited unto others. I would have her close her eyes and feel the sunrise on her face, without her dreams being seared and consumed by the flames._

_In my life, I always felt that I was to be a stepping stone. I was part of the percentage of misery that was necessary in order that others might find joy. Life exists on many layers, and it must exist on many layers otherwise the structure would collapse upon itself. I reside on one of the bottom layers, lending support to the dark and the vile that writhe along the ground of our existence. I would have our daughter reside on a higher layer, along with you, in order that you might reach to the sky. _

_Do not fear for me, my love. You know my heart and mind better than anyone. I am just feeling lonely, and I grow weary of my days spent alone, in darkness. _

_Until I see you again,_

_Liari_

* * *

><p>Jane shook her head. The letters were definitely getting darker. This wasn't quite what she expected from the title.<p>

_Well, what __**were**__ you expecting, Jane? _

She didn't know. Liari was clearly troubled, and she probably shouldn't have spent so much time alone.

_I will have to remember to ask Sha'ira about this. Maybe she can offer some insight into what made Liari into the woman she was. _

She turned back to the datapad, and picked another random page.

_One more, and then I will go to sleep. _

* * *

><p><em><em><strong>-Letters<strong>__

_My dearest love, __-__,_

_The darkness closes around me. This day I spent on the surface of one of the most vile and violent lands known to our species. I am not even sure why I went there. There is nothing to find there, not anymore. It is now home to the most sinful and evil of creatures; all manner of cruel men and women of the universe gather there to drink in the bloodlust and carve each other's skin by the moonlight. They drink, and they dance, and they fight, and they cry, and it is a disgraceful sight. And I come here, and I kill them all. _

_I sometimes wish to know where my strength comes from, and so I come here to test it. Here, no one notices the difference in me. I should be long beyond these days of chasing violence, but on this night the feral beast awoke in me and demanded blood. I came here, and was placed in the arena, and lost count of my kills before they forcibly removed me. __-__, I do not understand what is wrong within me that forces me to occasionally chase the violence so, but it is starting to become more frequent. What has awakened within me? _

_My hands are caked with the dried blood and sweat of my victims. I did not even wash it off. After they pulled me out of the arena, I immediately boarded my ship and set a course to return to you. I never wish to visit that place again, but I do not know how to drive away the evil inside me that draws me away from our home. I feel that I must escape this universe. There is surely no cage that can contain me. Please, my love, you must contain me. I cannot be unleashed upon the world. It is getting worse, with the passing days and I do not even understand why. It was so seldom, before, and so easy to control._

_I have one last trip to go on, and then I will say goodbye to it forever, and you must contain me. If you do not, I shall go mad within my head and I fear very much I will no longer recognize friend from foe. It is almost as a drug, manipulating my thoughts and destroying my will. The only truth that permeates my darkness and cuts through the bloodlust is the truth of my devotion to you. The only reminder I have of what I could be if I can just conquer this creature that threatens to control me, is the gentle cadence of our daughter's heartbeat. _

_It is breaking me, __-__. It is breaking me and the violence within is bringing my reasoning to a halt. You must contain me. No other can. Please, it's my heart in your hands. I pray you keep it. If you cannot, then I am doomed. If you abandon me, then I am lost. If you lose faith, then my legacy ends._

_Until I see you again, _

_Liari_

* * *

><p>Jane turned off the datapad. She couldn't read another entry tonight even if she had wanted to. Liari's writings were starting to frighten her.<p>

_Her letters are growing so dark. I fear what the next ones would say. I hope that Sha'ira has some answers for me tomorrow. _

Jane put the datapad on a bedside table, and crawled under the covers. As she lay there and drifted between the waking world and that of dreams, she thought she heard a faint voice from very far away…

"_I miss you, Jane."_

* * *

><p><strong>-<em>Nightmares<em>**

_The final gate stood between her and the Eternal Stairwell. There, between her and the Path of Platinum, was nothing but a simple silver structure. She looked around her, and saw that the planet of platinum swords was dead ahead and it was silent. The song had paused, and it seemed that the universe was waiting to see whether or not she would pass this test. She got the feeling that this task was of particular importance. This task would test her beyond her strength of will. This test would ask more of her than all of the previous trials combined._

I am getting close. This may not be the final task, but I am very close now. I will arrive.

_She reached out to touch the gate, but it did not open at her command. She studied it for a time, and decided that this must be her trial. She could see the pathway leading into the mountains and to the stairwell, but she could not reach it from here. She had to find a way through the gate. _

Is it locked?

_She gazed at the doorway, and identified what seemed to be a keyhole, but she couldn't be sure what sort of key could fit the slot. It wasn't like any lock she had ever seen, and as she observed it, the thing seemed to twist and change. It was constantly morphing its shape, and it would be impossible for her to pick, even if she had been talented at such things. It would take a very special and unique key to unlock this door. _

Where will I find the key?

_She looked around her, but there was nothing immediately visible. There were no tables, or objects in view. There was only an endless wall, and the gate. She would have to turn around and search. She peered into the distance, but the land stretched for miles and all of it looked exactly the same. The endless silver expanse nearly blinded her, and she closed her eyes, willing herself extended sight. _

I cannot wander aimlessly. I must arrive, and I must know how to arrive. There is something there for me to find. There is always something there for me to find.

_She opened her eyes again, and once more looked across the barren wasteland. There in the distance, she thought she might have seen a glimpse of color. There was an anomaly of some sort there, some kind of... disturbance... in the silver expanse. _

I will arrive. You will see me.

_She walked toward the coloring, and was surprised to meet with no resistance. The wind did not bear down on her, and the ground did not slice at her bare feet. All was silent as she walked, and all was silent as she quietly sang the song of the swords. It seemed that time stood still, and all life depended on her ability to pass this next trial. The universe paused, breathless, waiting to see Jane's strength. _

No... You cannot ask this of me...

_Jane fell to her knees as she approached the courtyard. In front of her sat a mold in the shape of a circular key standing on a pedestal, with several parts that seemed they were meant to be filled by some sort of liquid. There were six parts in all; six intersecting slots that when filled, would provide the necessary weight to cause the pedestal to drop into the Forge of the Ages, where the key would then be crafted. She would be given the key, but she needed to first fill the mold. Jane looked around the courtyard at the six metal slabs surrounding the pedestal, each with a small aqueduct leading to the mold in the center. _

I... cannot perform this trial.

_She closed her eyes, and searched through her mind for the sound of the voice. The voice was nowhere to be found, though. This time, she was on her own, and the universe watched and waited to see what she would do. It watched and waited to see if she _**_could _**_do what was asked of her. She fell to her knees, and hung her head. _

Is this strength? Or is this weakness? Do you ask this of me, because you want me to be strong and compassionate, or do you ask this of me because you wish me to be ruthless, and for all life to die at my hands? Do I not deal enough death? Must I deal more? Must I kill even those closest to me, those I hold most dear? You ask much of me, Silver Voice. You ask much.

_She got to her feet and looked at the sky defiantly. This task was too great, and she would not allow herself to be such a pawn. If this was what ascension into the heavens required, then she would walk away from it now. She opened her mouth to sing the note that would end the trials for her soul forever, but the sound wouldn't come out. Instead, it seemed to her that the twilight twisted and morphed in her vision, and it was replaced with a hideous scene of all the allied races of the universe being brutally and mercilessly slaughtered. One by one, some sort of machine-gods rent their flesh and seared their bones. One by one, they were cut down and torn apart, and the blood painted the night. It soaked into the ground, and the planets cried out in pain. The universe cried out in pain. The gods cried out in pain. Jane… cried out in pain._

_She fell to her knees again, and understood. She had to finish these trials, because something she did not yet understand was going to test her will, and if she could not stand up to that threat, all would be lost. Even if she walked away now and saved her friends, they would perish in the days ahead. She would not be able to save them, if she did not finish the trials and accept the power offered to her. All would be lost, and it would be all her fault. Her soul would not be collected when civilization was rebuilt, and she would forever wander the empty spaces in between life and death, regretting the weakness and foolishness that allowed the machine-gods safe passage once more into this world. _

_She slowly stood, and as she did, a rusty steel sword materialized in the air in front of her. She grasped it firmly, and walked to the first stone slab. _

I am sorry. We will all die if I cannot do this...

_She gazed at the still form of the youngest member of her crew, a quarian female on her pilgrimage. She was caught up in events that she didn't understand, and though her people were a part of the galactic community and stood to lose much in the war, she had personally caused none of the problems that now plagued the galaxy. Jane positioned the sword above the woman's heart, and closed her eyes as she forced the blade down through her chest. Her own heart broke as she heard the almost inaudible whimper, and in that moment, she was grateful for the masks all quarians were forced to wear. She wouldn't have to see the look of shock and horror in the young girl's face as someone she trusted took her life._

_She pulled the blade free, and watched as the blood flowed through the piping to the mold. The pedestal shivered slightly, and then settled once more. Jane was not getting out of this so easily. She moved to the next slab. _

_Jane stood over the still form of one of the best officers she had ever known. The young human female gazed at her, and her expression was so trusting and so full of respect, that she nearly lost her nerve. Jane had felt an affinity for this woman since they had met on Eden Prime, and it was particularly painful to have to raise the sword and see the horrified expression cross the soldier's face. She didn't look away, though. She owed her comrade that much. She owed it to the woman to look into her eyes as she brought the blade down through her chest. She fought back a tear as she saw the acceptance in the soldier's eyes just before they glazed over and became lifeless._

_She once more pulled the blade free, and hung her head. Was it worth this? Was saving the rest of the universe worth these lives? _

_She hoped so. _

_Jane moved to the third slab on this side, which housed a young man with whom she hadn't interacted much. He looked at her with much the same expression the woman had; trust and respect. They both trusted her to make the right decisions and lead them to victory. They trusted her to protect them, and keep them safe from harm. They believed in her. They loved her. And now, she had to destroy them. She positioned the sword above the man's chest, but this time she couldn't look in the eyes of her victim. A whimper escaped her throat as she brought the blade down, seeing in her mind's eye the heartbroken expression on his face as she claimed his life without even looking him in the face. The pedestal shivered again, as his essence filled another portion of the key. _

_She turned around, and slowly proceeded to the other side of the courtyard, to the final three slabs. The first one held a creature of war, forged in the fires of anger and directed by unseen forces to crush all in his path. She regretted bringing him at all, now. She should have left him on the space station, to find his fortune doing mercenary work or something less dangerous, something less… demanding. She felt as though lately, she was responsible for single-handedly wiping out his entire race, genophage or no. She positioned the sword above his chest, and nodded at the look in his eyes. He understood what she had to do, and he almost... welcomed it. It confused her, but it did harden her resolve. If he accepted what she had to do, then she had to be on the right track. Even if she had to face the end of the world alone, she could do it knowing that all the deaths leading up to that final confrontation were not in vain. She brought down the sword once, pulled it out, and brought it down a second time. She thought she saw the hint of a smile, as life left his body. _

_She stepped back, and looked at the pedestal. It was nearly heavy enough now to drop into the Forge of Ages, but not quite. She had to continue._

_She made her way to the next slab, and smiled sadly as she gazed upon the C-Sec officer that had joined her crew. He was a noble and kind soul, hating injustice and hating that his hands were tied by rules and regulations. He was the kind who wanted to punish the wicked and protect the innocent. She loved him for that. She gripped the side of the slab, and looked into his eyes. It seemed to her he... nodded... accepting his fate and accepting that his part in the story was over. She hung her head as she positioned the sword again, and thrust with all her strength. He didn't cry out. But then again, he didn't have to. Jane was crying enough for everyone. _

_She removed the rusty blade once more, and turned her gaze to the last slab. She dreaded coming to this one, but as she looked at the mold, she saw that one part of it still remained unfilled. The very center, the heart so to speak, was empty. She had one last task to perform. _

_She walked up to the stone table, and gazed down at the woman who had captivated her heart. She was so young, and so innocent, and didn't belong here lying among dead soldiers. Jane reached out a hand, and laid it on the woman's brow, gently caressing the skin. Surely, she would be allowed at least a moment to grieve. Surely, the voice would allow her at least that, given the gravity of the things being asked of her. _

_The voice did not protest. _

I must arrive. I must do this, and you must understand.

_The woman's eyes betrayed no emotion. The simply gazed at Jane and quietly accepted whatever the human decided was best. Jane's heart broke as she looked into those eyes, and she choked back the tears that threatened to come loose. It wasn't fair, what the universe asked of her. It wasn't fair to ask her to deal so much death, and continue to live herself. _

_It was unfair to ask her to kill her only love. _

_She looked back at the mold, and cursed it as it sat there. She cursed the key for demanding blood, and she cursed the voice for demanding her soul participate in these trials. She cursed fate for bringing her face to face with the mirror image of her own heart, and she cursed the rotten luck that had caused her to be born into this age at all. She took a deep breath, and then withdrew her hand from the woman's brow. _

I must find the strength to do this. I love you, but I must find the strength to do this, or we all fall.

_She put the sword down on the slab, and turned it slightly. She wouldn't hold it by the hilt for this task. She didn't deserve to cut down all of her friends, and suffer no cut herself. She gripped the sharp metal of the blade tightly, and nodded in satisfaction at the blood that now ran down her hand onto the slab. She positioned it above the woman's heart, and placed her other hand back on the soft skin of her brow. _

I love you, and I will always love you. And, I will remember you when you are gone. There will never be another for me. That, I promise you.

_Jane closed her eyes, and leaned down to press her lips against the still form of her only love as she plunged the blade deep into the woman's chest. She stayed there, letting her tears flow freely and the blood from her hand mingle with that of the young scientist's. The mixture flowed through the pipes and filled the last portion of the key, weighing heavily enough on the pedestal to force it into the Forge of Ages. _

_She dropped the sword, and wrapped her arms around the woman, silently begging for her forgiveness. It seemed that the heavens stopped time so that she might grieve, and she stood there for what seemed like hours, crying into the shoulder of her now lifeless love. _

_After an eternity, she stepped back, and gently closed the woman's eyes. _

Sleep soundly, my love. I will join you soon, when my task is done. I will join you in eternal slumber, and together we will fly across the heavens, and laugh at these dark days.

_She turned away from the gruesome scene, and stepped out of the courtyard, gripping the completed key that was now just hovering at the entrance in her bloodied left hand. _

_A wave of silver ice shattered the crystalline universe, and carried Jane away into the darkness…_


	30. Chapter 29: Pieces will fall, they fall

**Chapter 29: Pieces will fall, they fall**

**-Citadel, Danger's safe house**

Jane Shepard awakened in a cold sweat, not really sure of where she was. She sat up in the bed and looked around her, grasping for any tendril of reason in this world that could keep her grounded in reality. She was terrified, and her skin was crawling. She felt as though droplets of blood had come to life and were smothering her, feeding on her skin from the inside; progressively becoming drunk on her fear. Slowly, she steadied her breathing and became aware of her surroundings. She was no longer in the platinum wonderland. She was in her friend's safe house. She was alive, and she was safe.

Jane swung her legs over the side of the bed and gripped the edge tightly, shutting her eyes and willing her mind to forget.

_It was only a dream, Jane. It wasn't real. There is nothing to be afraid of. It was only a dream._

She opened her eyes and exhaled, pushing herself to her feet. She stepped over to the bureau and slipped her Omni-tool around her wrist. She checked it for messages, and then walked toward the washroom to clean off the misery and filth of the night.

_You are going mad, Jane. You are going completely mad, and you need to get a serious grip on reality. None of that actually happened. There is no otherworldly force guiding you to slay your friends, and there are no gods playing games to test your strength. There is just you, and your crew, and your gun. That's it. That's all there ever was, and all this platinum nonsense is probably just some side effect from exposure to chemicals or something. It's just like the biotics.  
><em>

She leaned against the sink and turned on the water. Cupping her hands, she splashed some of it on her face, and tried to wake up from the nightmare... all the nightmares. It had seemed so real, and so vivid... It had seemed like something that had actually happened. It had seemed like something... she had actually done... something... she was capable of actually doing.

_Get a grip, soldier! This is not how a commanding officer behaves! _

She balled her hands into fists and shut her eyes tightly. This was going to be the death of her. Sooner or later, the visions and the dreams and the stress were going to break her, and when they did, would there be anyone there to pick up the pieces? Would anyone care? Or would they just... go on living as if Jane Shepard had never even existed...?

She opened her eyes and looked back at the mirror. Dark eyes stared out at her from pale, chiseled skin. She looked older, and she felt older. Silently, she asked the question of her reflection.

_Why?_

The mirror had no answers for her. The dreams had no answers for her. It seemed that no one had any answers for her, and the more she learned, the more questions she needed answers to.

_How long can I go on like this? Maybe I should… talk to someone about it. _

She dismissed that thought almost immediately. The second she started talking about having dreams of killing her crew members, the Alliance would declare her unfit for duty at best, dishonorably discharge and lock her up at worst. She was going to have to deal with this on her own.

_Maybe whatever Sha'ira teaches me will help with these as well. I should get ready to go see her. She is probably my last, best hope to get everything under control. _

Jane nodded to herself and turned off the water. She would learn what she could from Sha'ira, and hopefully she could apply it to the other situations in her life as well. She would get this under control. She had to. The entire universe was counting on her to keep it together. Liara was counting on her to keep it together.

Liara was counting on her to keep her sanity to keep them all safe.

She hung her head, and slowly turned to the shower. She removed the clothing she had borrowed from Danger's drawers, and stepped into the water, hoping beyond hope that it would wash away the guilt and the horror and the… shame.

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Consort's Chambers<strong>

"You have returned, then."

"I have. I don't have much of a choice. It's either do this or lose Liara, and I'm not prepared to call that quits just yet."

"It isn't going to get easier, Shepard."

"No, I don't suppose it is." Jane deposited the datapad on a nearby table. "Have you ever read that?"

Sha'ira picked up the unit, and nodded. "Shepard, I helped select the letters that made it into this collection."

"It's not… It's not quite what I expected."

"No? Well, what did you expect, sugar and lollipops, or perhaps candy and caring? Shepard, the asari have a very dark history. We are drawn to violence as moths to a flame. We worshipped Ardat-Yakshi as goddesses. _Goddesses_, Shepard. As they took our daughters as sacrifices, we reveled in the violence and carnage of it all. We danced in the blood and the moonlight. You see the asari as some sort of supreme beings, but in truth we are all as feral as Liari N'Vara on some level. Liari was just brutally honest about the beasts that lived within her. Some of her letters were of love and devotion, but the ones that really stirred the hearts of her fans were the ones that talk about her demons. You humans have similar tales, do you not? Werewolves, and vampires and the like? It is not so very different, with Liari."

Jane nodded slowly. "I was surprised to read about the three turians."

"You think she should have been punished. Those three had been making a career of raping and stealing whatever they could. The universe did not mourn their loss, and the council wanted to make Liari a spectre after hearing the turian girl's account of what happened. No, Shepard, do not make judgment calls without knowing your facts. It's true that from Liari's point of view, something took over her body and granted her the strength to ravage other living beings, but the fact remains that… They had it coming." Sha'ira's gaze locked onto the commander's, almost daring her to argue.

Jane did not take the bait.

"You are a young species, and we learned long ago that there are some wounds that need to be cauterized. You cannot allow them to fester, or they will destroy entire limbs. Liari's actions made her legendary. Even the Justicars bowed their heads in respect, when they crossed paths with Liari in the far reaches of space."

Jane nodded, but didn't respond.

"Benezia was particularly aroused by the tale," Sha'ira continued, changing direction. She licked her lips and Jane thought she could feel a distinct electrical charge in the air. "From what I understand, by the time she was through with Liari and the writer was off to her next mission, her hands weren't the only bones that were broken." Sha'ira smiled suggestively and watched for the commander's reaction.

Jane wasn't quite sure how to react, and she wasn't sure she was comfortable with the sudden change in the air surrounding them. She tried to keep her face impassive. It must have worked, because soon Sha'ira took a seat next to her and leaned back, one leg crossed over the other. The electricity didn't dissipate, but it didn't look like the asari was going to push the issue… yet anyway.

"There is one letter that did not make it into the book. I have it, and I will show it to you, but not until you have seen the entire tale. Are you ready?"

"I'm ready," Jane stated.

"Very well then. Close your eyes, and relax, Shepard. Embrace Eternity."

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Visions<strong>_

"_I wish to bond to her, Sha'ira."_

"_So do it then."_

"_She is gone again. It seems that every few weeks, something forces her to leave."_

_I look at my friend for any hint of what she is trying to express to me, but Benezia's features are as stone this day. _

"_I fail to see the relevance, old friend."_

_She sighs, and looks at me. She is starting to show now, and I can tell that the weight of the burden she has accepted has finally hit home to her. She is of course, ready for this at her advanced age, but none of us particularly wishes to face raising a child alone. _

"_I beg her to stay, and she leaves anyway. How can she leave, and yet claim to love me so?"_

_I take her hands in mine, but there is no electricity as there once was. I may have felt a slight regret, but as I have mentioned before, Shepard, I have chosen a different path. I had to let Benezia walk hers, free from confusing thoughts of an age that had long since turned to dust. "I think that you already know why, my friend. She has hidden herself away for the better part of a millennia. In time she will trust you, but you will need to be patient with her."_

_Benezia is not convinced. She stares at the sky, almost as if she could see where Liari had gone. And where had she gone? No one ever knew, until her journals were published. The asari owe our dominance in this universe largely to Liari and her travels. She went to many places that no others dared go. She was fearless, and she was cunning. All of it was masked by her soft-spoken personality, but as we learned over the course of the next year, Liari N'Vara was a force of nature, not to be taken lightly. _

"_I have been patient, Sha'ira. I have been patient for that better part of that millennia, and now I want for her to stay here and help me with this." She gestures to the life growing within her._

"_Have you explained how you feel to her, and why you want her to stay?"_

"_I have not. Not yet."_

_I sigh, slightly exasperated. Do you see why, Shepard? She is more comfortable talking with me, than talking with her lover about what she wants. She is still punishing herself for the choices she made in the past, and it is silly. She 'begs' Liari to stay, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she actually is too fearful to ask her lover to give up her life of travel. _

"_You must speak with her about these things. Talking with me will do you no good, Benezia."_

"_I know." She looks down at the ground, and I take notice that she is doing that more and more often. She is frightened of what she has done, and what is to come. I think that perhaps even then, she knew the choice would fall to her and she would have to make it. The further she reached into the depths of Liari N'Vara's mind and soul, the more out of control the woman's inner demons became. I am still not entirely sure of the relationship between the two events, but Benezia's mind and will was strong, and it is possible that at some point during their many joinings, the demon found some way to feed off the powerful mentalist's strength and overcome the barriers that Liari had in place over the long years. _

_It is interesting, is it not, how opening ourselves up to another can often make us weaker? It should make us stronger, but that is a fantasy in a poet's tale. The reality is far more brutal, and far less forgiving. _

"_I may speak with her when she returns, but every time she returns from a trip, she is wilder. She is impossible to contain, and our nights…" Her eyes get a faraway look, and I know that her anger at the writer for leaving is quickly dissolving into lust and desire. "Our nights grow more insistent, as if she knows her time is limited and is attempting to live out the rest of our days in moments."_

_I nodded my head, but I kept silent. And what would you have said, Shepard? Would you have offered comfort, a shoulder to cry on? Would you have offered wisdom, giving her words of encouragement and reassurance? Would you have offered more than that, taking her in your arms and helping her to forget how lonely she is? All of these thoughts crossed my mind, but as I said, Benezia needed to walk her own path without any confusion from me. As enticing as the thought was, I controlled myself and merely sat in silence with my friend, until the hour came when letters were to be delivered and she departed to see if there was word from her love. _

* * *

><p>The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>Look at this." She hands me a letter, and I read over it several times. <em>

"_So it is true then." _

"_It would seem that way."_

"_And how do you feel about it?"_

_She looks at me. I can see in her eyes that the revelation has heightened her desire, but she is also frightened, and she should be. _

"_She is dangerous."_

"_Not to you and not to your child."_

"_That remains to be seen."_

"_Don't try to take that mysterious and wise tone with me, Benezia. Part of it is your fault, you know. It was clearly under control before this. You dug too deeply within her mind and loosened too many shackles that ought to have been left intact."_

_She turns away from me, and I know I have gotten through to her. Look at her face, Shepard. She is struggling with the knowledge that she is a party to her lover's spiral into disgrace. She holds her belly, which has grown heavy with the child within, and I know that she is wondering whether the traits will pass to the next generation. _

_We may worship those who harbor demons, Shepard, but we do not actively try to create them. Benezia had no way of knowing what the future could have possibly held, or what the outcome could have been. _

"_It is. But there is little I can do to change it now."_

"_What would you change? I see in your face how you long to be in her arms, Benezia. Would you change things and deny yourself the experience you have had?"_

_She thinks about it, and it saddens me. This is the evil gripping her mind, Shepard. Any influence that can give someone as in love as Benezia pause, is surely evil of the worst kind. It is almost as if something is whispering to her to remove herself from her union. Something is fearful of what Liari is, and what she is capable of. Something wants Benezia to distance herself from the powerful and mysterious woman. At this point, it is still unclear why. Perhaps you will find more enlightenment on that subject as you pursue your mission. _

"_No, I suppose I wouldn't change anything. I still would not have wanted my daughter with anyone but Liari."_

_I nod in relief. At least the evil hasn't penetrated so far that she would reject her daughter. You do not know what a good sign that was, Shepard, for I feel that Liara has a great role to play in the future. It was important that the child grow to adulthood, and that she do it under the watchful eye of those closest to her and most likely to understand, should she show the signs._

"_So what will you do now?"_

"_There is little that I can do. I will wait for her return, and nurse her wounds as I have done all the times previous. I will pray that she can bring it back under control. I will stay out of her mind, lest I cause more damage than I already have."_

"_Benezia that is not the answer. Do not deny yourself the pleasures of your union. All that will accomplish is alienating her and that is not a road that you wish to travel down."_

_Her face takes on the look of one that is attempting to harden her heart, but I brush my hand across her cheek and she softens again. My touch isn't enough to awaken the lightning in her veins, not anymore, but it does remind her that withholding herself from the one who has the power to control her body will bring only pain and despair. It is mostly the hormones talking, Shepard. She does not mean the things she says, and in the end, she will lie in her lover's arms and try to forget about the beast that lurks, just a hair's breadth away._

* * *

><p>The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>I spoke with her tonight, and begged her not to leave."<em>

"_What did she say?"_

"_She took her hands in mine and swore it would be the last trip. She is shocked that I have accepted her."_

"_And have you? Accepted her, that is."_

_She hesitates. Something whispers to her, Shepard. Something is calling to her, and pulling her away from where she belongs. _

"_I don't know. I don't know how to cope with this, how to bear this burden."_

"_Benezia, I have known you for many centuries. You are strong, and powerful, and there is little doubt in my mind that you could control her. She need not escape the planet to change any longer."_

_She looks at me, surprised that I have voiced what has been gnawing at her all these long months. Liari handled it the right way, I think. She allowed little hints to drop, scattered throughout her letters in such a way that when Benezia came to the full realization of the reality, it was too late to turn back. _

"_Mind your tongue, Sha'ira. We do not know who could be listening."_

_And she was right Shepard, we did not know who was listening. Something, was listening though. Something had been listening in Benezia's psyche for centuries, and something was slowly turning her against all those that she had ever loved. It is a sad thing, Shepard. Liari was a pure soul, who bore the mark of the ancient, and if there was anyone in the universe who could control her when the rage came forth, it was Benezia T'Soni. If it weren't for the whisperings in her mind that ultimately claimed the powerful asari mentalist's soul, you might have had three formidable allies in your mission, instead of just one. _

_We all pray that one will be enough. _

"_Has the child shown any signs?" _

"_No. She is restless at times, but I do not feel it coming from her. She bears the mark, but she does not bear the beast."_

"_That is a good sign, at least. When Liari returns from this trip, will you at least try to contain her?"_

_She hesitates again. My heart is breaking, for I think even then I sensed the foreshadowing of what was to come. There was something in her eyes, something in the way her facial features seemed to sharpen. She was balanced on the tip of a needle, and none of us could know in which direction she would fall…_

* * *

><p>The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Shepard, I am almost loathe to show you this memory, but you must see it in order to understand. I had not seen Benezia for almost a week. It was unusual, for during Liari's absences, my friend would often seek out my company. I was still on the planet, attempting to arrange my sister's bonding, but it was slow work and it afforded me much time to spend with my friend. <em>

_I see her walking toward me, and immediately I know that something is not right. She has done something terrible. I invite her inside my home, and offer her tea, hoping to calm her. _

"_Benezia, what is wrong?"_

_She doesn't betray any emotion. "There is nothing wrong."_

"_I know that look, my friend. What is it? What have you done?"_

"_There is nothing wrong, and I have nothing to be sorry for."_

_Do you see it, Shepard? Can you feel my fear, my horror, at what I anticipate will come next? Do you see the calmness in her face? Do you see how her eyes are not her own?_

"_Benezia… What are you talking about?"_

_She hands me a note. It's a short note, and it's on a datapad. I read it, and my heart stops beating as the words register in my mind. It is a distress call, sent only to Benezia, only to the one that she trusted implicitly. In retrospect, I believe that Liari knew that this was to be the telling moment. The two of them had of course professed their love, and gone through nearly all the motions, but this… She just had to know whether or not Benezia could truly accept and embrace what she was. _

"_Where is she…" _

_Her eyes harden. She doesn't speak. There is a reason she is here, Shepard. She cannot control all of her thoughts at this moment, but she is reaching out to me, in hopes that I can change the course of events. _

"_Benezia, where is she?"_

_She still doesn't speak. The muscles in her face contort, as if she wishes to, but not a sound is made. I look back at the datapad and see that the location has been erased, but the date had not. It had been almost a week. _

_I throw it on the ground, and rush my friend. I take her face in my hands, and I am not gentle._

"_Where is she." It is not a question. _

_She does not move, and I am left with no other choice. I push into her mind, and that's when it all happens. Benezia snaps. I do not know if it is because of her pregnancy, or because of the voices that whisper to her in the darkness, but her strength is ten times what I remember it. I am thrown against the wall by the force of her mental power and her biotics, but I do not give up. _

_I stand and rush her again, attempting to pick the location out of her head, that I might turn her from this path of insanity before it is too late. Again I am thrown, and I feel a snapping in my left arm. She is too strong. She now has me in a stasis field, and I know not how long I was immobilized. I lost all sense of time as well as my grip on reality. My only focus was penetrating her mind, but her barriers were so high and so strong that I was as water breaking itself on the shore. Still, I persisted, thinking that perhaps I could wear her down. _

_We spent days like that, Shepard. We spent three days like that, shields locked, before finally our exhaustion overcame us. The last thing that I remember is her forcing me against the wall one last time, and closing her own eyes and crumpling to the floor. _

_I awoke some time later, and she was thankfully still unconscious. I prayed to the Goddess for the last bit of strength I would need, and I ripped the location from the woman's mind. _

_I was too late, Shepard. _

_The planet Liari had visited, that unstable place bereft of life where she often went when she felt it would a particularly bad change, had claimed her. The wind and sand washed over her like a lover, and as she lay there, starving to death in the storm that had disabled her ship, she penned letters to Benezia. _

_When they found her, she had a small shovel in one hand, and her pen in the other. That shovel was the only thing she had ever found on the planet indicative of higher life. She was surrounded by pages and pages of letters she penned in her last week of existence, each becoming more desperate than the last, as she realized that her love had abandoned her. She had sent her distress message only to Benezia, for if her one love were to turn on her, then she did not wish to continue living. Shepard, you cannot imagine what a slow and tortuous death that creature suffered at the hand of her love, and if I was but a little stronger, I might have been able to avert it. _

_I was not. _

* * *

><p>The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Benezia is with me here, waiting on news. She awoke shortly after I plucked the information from her mind, and now she waits with me to find out one way or the other, if she is responsible for the death of her lover. The message comes through on my datapad, and I know that my face betrays the truth even as I consider how to approach it to her. <em>

_Do you see her face, Shepard? She cannot understand how she could have done this, how she could have abandoned her love in this way. The voice in her mind has receded; its mission was accomplished, for now. Liari N'Vara was no longer a threat. Now all that was left was Benezia, lost and alone and aching for the touch of her mate, whose eyes were now darkened forever. _

_It was a horrible night for the both of us, Shepard. Do you see what is happening? She has gone into labor. It is almost as if her daughter has realized her parent has been ripped from her prematurely and is attempting to escape from the monster that caused her such pain. The child wants out. Benezia is sobbing, and I carry the miserable woman to my bed. I have had no children of my own, Shepard, but this is one of those things that you just instinctively know how to handle. You will see, someday I am sure. _

_It lasted for hours, and I sense that Benezia embraced the pain. She wanted to punish herself for what she had done. I allowed her to. It may have been slightly vindictive of me, but Benezia broke one of the most basic of our laws. It doesn't matter whether Liari was a demon, or an Ardat-Yakshi, or some other monstrous deformity. Liari had done nothing but contribute great works of art to our culture, and right wrongs as she saw them. She isolated herself, to protect us from the beast within, and instead of holding Liari's heart and protecting it; Benezia threw her away as if she were a monster. _

_After an eternity, the child is born. Do you see her, Shepard? Is she not the very image of Liari herself? Benezia will not let me take the child even to clean her. She holds her close, and whispers, "My Liari, my Liari, what have I done?"_

_I leave them alone. There will be no talking to her this night, and I am weary and need to rest. _


	31. Chapter 30:I'll cross this hopeless line

**Chapter 30: With your smile, I'll cross this hopeless line**

**-Citadel, Consort's Chambers**

Commander Jane Shepard felt the asari withdraw once again, and was pleasantly surprised that this time, they weren't wrapped up together. She looked at Sha'ira. "Is that all of it?"

Sha'ira shook her head. "Of course it isn't all, but it's all that you really need to know."

"So… Liari was some sort of… Werewolf?"

Sha'ira chuckled. "Shepard, it is not nearly as romantic as your tales of mythical creatures. She did not morph into a vicious dog under the light of a full moon. There was something that was shackled in her mind, which came loose at times and painted the night with blood, but she was still one of us."

Jane nodded. "So, what I don't understand is how this was kept a secret all this time."

Sha'ira stood and turned her back on the human. "After Liara was born, I left Benezia in the care of my sister and came to the Citadel to seek out the finest programming talent money could buy. I traded a brilliant quarian girl three ships, the Sarya, the Oralna, and the Rayya. They were fine vessels, and a mighty gift for her to return to the fleet with. She erased all traces that led to Benezia, including the destination of the distress message and all electronic journal entries that referenced my friend by name. The girl made it seem as if it all got lost in relays, or corrupted due to faulty hardware. I was the only one who ever knew for sure about Benezia's relationship with the writer, and I never told a soul out of respect for the both of them."

_The Rayya? How is it that almost everything is linked somehow? I wonder if Tali is related to the quarian who was given that ship…_

"But what about Liara? Didn't anyone notice that Benezia had given birth?"

Sha'ira turned, amused. "Shepard, there were thousands of births that year, ranging from maidens to matriarchs. Do you really think that anyone would take notice of a commando giving birth?" she waved a hand dismissively. "No, it was assumed that she joined with one of the matriarchs she guarded during her tour of duty. It is not uncommon, for matriarchs to join with their commando bodyguards and in fact, it is encouraged. For an asari to reach the matriarchal stage and that level of wisdom is a great accomplishment, and commandos are some of our strongest warriors. Unfortunately, they rarely reach matriarchal years, so we do encourage them to join early and often in order that we might keep the warrior traits alive in our society. It is very convenient for them to join with their charges, and it makes for excellent offspring."

"Well, Liara told me that asari exclusive pairings are looked down upon."

Sha'ira laughed. "Benezia told her that, so that the child would not pry into her lineage and ask too many questions. Far easier to teach her that it is a taboo, than to have to face the difficult answers. Liara never showed signs of the beast that haunted her 'father', so Benezia decided to keep the past, in the past." She sat back down next to the commander, leaned back, and crossed one leg over the other.

"Now, that's not to say that we don't look outside our race for traits to pass to the next generation, for we do and we do it often, but those pairings are almost always for love and unexpected." The asari studied the commander, allowing her gaze to linger on the human's slim and muscular form. "Yes, such pairings are usually unexpected, but not entirely surprising, given the level of variety, talent, and… appeal… other species display."

Jane shook her head and looked at the ceiling, ignoring the suggestive tone in Sha'ira's voice. "So now what?"

"Now what? Now you make a decision whether to reveal what you have learned, or keep it to yourself. I can teach you to control your thoughts, or I can remove the memories entirely, should that be your decision. But, it _is_ your decision, Commander. I will not rip the thoughts from you. I am ashamed of my part in this, and I feel that Liari deserves a better legacy than the one that Benezia and I gave to her. We took everything from that woman, including the name her daughter would have most likely carried. We did it to protect Benezia, and to protect Liara, but the child should still have had the chance to know where she came from."

Sha'ira's eyes took on a faraway look. "We were lucky, Shepard. No one ever asked. The government isn't in the practice of prying into the private lives of individual asari and demanding to know the lineage of their offspring. Benezia was just assumed a fan of the writer's work. There were many children named Liari, or variations thereof, that year… but only one that bore her blood, and her mark."

"Benezia and I remained friends for a brief time after that, but then drifted apart. There was something in her mind, taking her over. I could not bear to watch it, and I felt my part in the tale had come to a close. I came here, and she stayed on Thessia to raise Liara. When the child rebelled and ran away to the stars, Benezia took it well. I think that she was reminded of her lost love, and since the girl never showed signs of the demon, there was no reason to try to detain her. I think that Benezia was a little in love with the thought of there being a Liari N'Vara travelling the universe once again, discovering the unknown. It is a romantic thought, is it not? Well, we will never know what was in her mind now, because soon after that, Saren was pointed in her direction and we all know the end result of that partnership. I will tell you this, however; whatever was pulling his strings, and Shepard, I have no doubt that there is something pulling his strings, had already been shadowing her mind for centuries."

"You don't think that Saren is behind all of this?"

Sha'ira shook her head. "Saren may be a spectre, but he isn't clever enough to have put all of this together by himself, and he certainly is not strong enough of will to have influenced Benezia T'Soni, asari that tamed the demon of Athame herself. No, there is something else behind all of this, Shepard, and I leave you in possession of these memories because you must find out what it is and stop it. Something was fearful of Liari N'Vara, and though it could not make Benezia raise a hand to strike down her lover, it was able to hold her will in thrall long enough when the opportunity arose, to stay that hand and achieve the same result."

"Benezia had mentioned a ship having some influence on her thoughts. Sovereign." Jane stated, recalling the day she was forced to kill Liara's mother.

"A romantic name, selected in order that it might instill fear in the masses, no doubt. I fear that there is more to this 'Sovereign' than meets the eye, Shepard. Be wary, be aware, and protect Liara. Protect Liara, at all costs. If this Sovereign is indeed the beast that whispered in the mind of Benezia, it will surely try to control Liara as well. She does not as yet show signs of harboring the demon, but she is still young and our goddess is given to flights of fancy. It is not inconceivable that at some future time, the gift will be bestowed upon the offspring of Liari. We know very little about the affliction, and truth be told, Liari is the only one that I know of that lived in our lifetime."

"How did this happen to Liari? How did she become, what she was? Is there any way to prevent it from happening to Liara?"

"How did she become what she was? No one knows. Perhaps she was… altered… by something in deep space. It could have been a part of her bloodline that manifested in maturity, similar to the Ardat-Yakshi. Maybe the goddess Athame visited her one night, and blessed her with the gift. It is possible that the thing that shadowed Benezia's mind and the mind of Saren attempted to enthrall Liari and was unsuccessful. That is one thing that the journals never revealed. All we know is that for centuries, she kept it at bay, but when Benezia probed too deeply into the woman's mind, attempting to fully know her lover, the shackles were loosened, and both beasts saw their respective opportunities."

"What about the letters?" Jane asked, gesturing to the book. "Why publish them?"

"Benezia and I had a lengthy discussion about what to do with them. It was a hard decision, but she pushed for releasing at least some of the letters and eventually I relented. I was worried, you see. I was worried that the letters would be eventually linked to Benezia, and that Liara would be the one to suffer for it. If anyone was to find out that Liara was descended from this asari that harbored the demon, she would be hunted. She would be killed, and the legacy would end." Sha'ira looked at Shepard thoughtfully. "I am not sure that the legacy _should_ end, Commander Shepard. Perhaps now that Liara has met you, it won't. I was fearful that she would be too much like Liari, spending all of her time alone, and not taking a mate until the end of her life, or not at all."

Jane fidgeted a little, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking.

"Anyway," Sha'ira continued, "We went through the hundreds of letters Liari sent to Benezia, and selected the most thought-provoking ones. We removed all references to my friend by name, and contacted Liari's publisher. The woman was ecstatic to get this exclusive collection, and I spent several very enjoyable nights purchasing her silence about how the letters were obtained. It worked out well, for everyone in the end. Benezia got to give her lost lover one final gift, one chance for her name to live on forever in our culture, Liari got to have her story told in the way that only she could have explained, and the publisher made enough on this one work that she was able to retire, and I'm sure that several generations to come will reap the benefits of that fortune."

Sha'ira smiled sadly at the commander, and Jane thought she detected a hint of regret.

"Everyone knew from the journals what Liari was, and that Liari had a child, but as no one knew who had birthed her legacy, the girl couldn't be hunted. It is why I begged Benezia to use any name but the one she chose, but she was stubborn. I think she wanted the small reminder of her lost love. In the end, it didn't make a difference anyway, and perhaps it went better than it would have if she had been called something different. With so many children that year being named after the mysterious poet, Liara blended in. She was left alone, and Benezia and I went our separate ways. And now, you are here."

"Yes, now I am here. And I have no idea what to do with any of this knowledge."

"That will be up to you, but I would counsel that you do not immediately tell this tale to Liara. She is not ready for it. She is too young. I sense a strength coming from you, and I believe that you are able to bear this burden, but you must understand that these revelations could undo Liara. She will seek her past, she will attempt to contact the beast through meditation, and it is possible that she will succeed and be lost to you forever. The circumstances are not right for the knowledge to come out. My suggestion is to take a page out of the Liari N'Vara handbook, and document what you have learned. Keep it secret, keep it safe, and make arrangements for it to be delivered to Liara, in the distant future. I do not think that she will be ready within your lifetime, but perhaps she will be prepared when she reaches her matron stage. Do you have someone who can help you with this?"

Jane nodded slowly. Danger could probably help her arrange this. Danger knew everyone. "Yes, I can do that. You mentioned a letter that did not make it into the collection."

Sha'ira closed her eyes and sighed. "Yes, the final letter that Liari penned before her eyes closed forever. Benezia wanted to destroy it, but I felt it needed to be preserved. I took it from her, and have kept it all these long years." The asari stood, and walked over to a wall. Pressing on a hidden location, part of the steel gave way to reveal a small box. She retrieved the box, and sat back down near the commander.

"Shepard, this letter is the final piece of Liari's legacy. She may have been controlled by demons and she may have performed monstrous deeds, but all of it, she did in the name of love and she never abused her power. She was one of a kind, and this letter holds her last words and thoughts, as life left her body and her heart broke. I could not bear to let Benezia destroy this last piece of their history together, and my only hope is that their souls have found each other again, in another place."

Sha'ira opened the box, and pushed some other trinkets aside to reveal a folded piece of paper at the bottom. She took it out and gently unfolded it before handing it to the commander. Jane took the letter, and began to read.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Letters<strong>__  
><em>

_My lost love, Benezia,_

_These are my final moments in this world, I think. I fear there is nothing left for my body to feed upon, and it is rebelling against me for denying it sustenance. I have no will left to continue, and my organs are failing. It is no longer painful, my only love. The suffering is coming to an end now that the hour is near, and my body has accepted that it is time to join our mothers in eternal slumber. Do not feel guilt over your choice, for I gave you this choice for a reason, and bear you no malice, for leaving me here to die. _

_I know now that you are not coming for me, and I do not blame you, for who could love a monster such as myself? Who would knowingly lie with such a creature, and bear their brood? Who indeed, could reach out their hand to a demon covered in blood, and filth, and the tears of so many? There is no one who could have such a love for me. There is no one in the universe that could take my hands, and see beyond the horrors that lurk in the depths of my mind, to touch the light and love I have within. There is no one._

_I am sorry for bringing this upon you. I had no right, and I regret the choices that I made that led us to this end. I should have stayed among the stars, and left my longing within the pages of my journals, where they were safe, and secure, and I could dream of my perfect life, with my perfect bondmate, and my perfect daughter. I should have never allowed my dreams to manifest in the reality of my days and nights spent with you, and I will understand if you cannot bear to look at my progeny and instead choose a different fate for her. My reality is to be a harsh truth, denying me even the last wish of gazing upon the face of my child. _

_Benezia, I wish I could do something about this. But I can't. I am a demon, and I know you have given up on me. I lie here and look at the night sky, hoping beyond hope to see the slightest indication that you have changed your mind, any disturbance in the atmosphere to renew my courage. I look for any hint that it is not too late, so that I might harden my will and urge my body to hold on just a little longer, but the wind sings me a lullaby and the sand caresses my skin, whispering that this is where I belong. And perhaps, this truly is where I belong. Beasts such as myself do not deserve to live, and love, and dance among the stars, bearing progeny to litter this world with our sin. _

_My heartbeat is slowing, and my script is unsteady. I am losing the strength to grip my pen as my eyes drift closed, but my lost love; I have one final request of you. Should you allow our daughter to live, please give her this artifact. I believe it might be Prothean, though I cannot be sure. I do not expect you to tell her tales of me, but if this one thing could live on, then my soul will be able to find rest. If this one thing can live on, then I will have fulfilled my purpose._

_Benezia, I am sorry… for everything… and now, I'll cross this hopeless line. I will disappear, into the darkness and step into the halls of the ages long since passed. I will accept the judgment to be visited upon me for my sins. I close my eyes, and allow the night to claim me._

_I will love you through every age, Benezia._

_The Demoness, Liari N'Vara_

* * *

><p>Jane looked up from the letter with tears in her eyes. Sha'ira nodded.<p>

"Yes, Shepard. I felt the same way as I read it. Liari didn't understand, not really. She died thinking that Benezia didn't love her, and her greatest fear was that her mate would destroy their daughter. It must have been horrible for her, lying there for days and hoping beyond hope that her mate would send someone to collect her; being met with nothing but the silence of a barren world." The asari took the letter, folded it up with great care, and placed it back in the small box. "I kept this all these years, and I count it among my greatest of treasures. Liari was not a monster, and one of us should have told her that. Benezia should have told her that."

"It's so… I just can't even believe that it happened." Jane shook her head in disbelief, and then rested it in her hands. "It's so sad. How can this much confusion and… and… miscommunication happen?"

"It happened, Shepard, and all across the universe tragedies such as this happen every day. We live in a cruel and lonely place, and sometimes I think that only one of us who actually _wasn't _a monster, was Liari." Sha'ira stood and returned the box to its hidden place. "She wasn't the monster, Shepard. We were the monsters, and you will face more of us before your task is over. For now, the only help that I can offer you, is a technique that Benezia taught to me. She was a master at locking away portions of her mind, even during her joinings with Liari. I will teach them to you, and in return, I ask that you make a different choice, when the time comes. I sense that you are in love with Liari's progeny, and she will need you before the end. She will need you to be stronger for her than her mother was for Liari."

"Relax, Shepard. Embrace Eternity."


	32. Chapter 31: History tends to repeat

**Chapter 31: History tends to repeat itself**

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Danger's Safe House<strong>

Jane sat on the edge of Danger's bed and practiced the techniques she had learned from Sha'ira. The asari had told her they were easy to learn, but hard to master, and Jane believed her. It was a strange thing, being so attuned to her mind. In the past, she had never really thought about memories or what they meant; they were just kind of there. All that had changed now, though. Now she had to be fully aware of her thoughts, and she had to control them around Liara. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt the young asari. Plenty of hurt had already cycled through the galaxy during the Liari N'Vara saga; there was no need to continue it now.

_The guilt and pain Benezia must have been in over this… I just can't imagine abandoning someone I loved like that. How could she have done it? Even if something was controlling her mind, wasn't she this great mentalist? Shouldn't she have been able to find the inner strength to get past whatever was trying to block her? _

_Or maybe, deep down, she really was just too scared that she was in over her head with Liari. Maybe, deep down, she was grateful for the way out… What an awful thought, and an awful thing to have to live with and see every day, in her daughter's eyes… _

Jane felt her throat constrict, and she tried to swallow the tears.

_Why do these people who have these epic love stories always seem so quick to throw it away? It doesn't seem fair…_

And it wasn't fair, but life wasn't being particularly fair to anyone lately, least of all Jane Shepard. Still, she needed to push forward, and get her mind under control if she had any hope of keeping her relationship with Liara, and doing all the other things that she needed to do.

She started practicing her isolation techniques, first seeking the memory, then visualizing the locking sequence, then stowing it in an area that was reserved for her secrets. One by one, she locked the memories and stowed them, locked them and stowed them, locked them and stowed them. After an hour of practice, she started working on the hiding techniques. This was more difficult, but vastly more important. She visualized air circulating through a vent, and focused on her grounding totem, which was, interestingly enough, Danger's greasy transmission. It was the first thing that Jane could think of when Sha'ira whispered in her mind to focus on an object, and so it became her grounding totem.

_Danger will be so pleased. I'll never hear the end of it._

She spent the next several hours on hiding the memories behind a veil of air. It was slow work, but by the time evening fell, she felt they were secure enough that she could be around Liara without the asari getting any clues from accidental meldings or physical contact. She wasn't sure how it would hold up if they got more… intimate… but Jane felt that was still a ways off so she still had time to perfect the technique.

Her final task was to block any new memories coming in. Sha'ira was especially adamant about this, as Jane could easily get overwhelmed if the visions started to pile up. It was unknown how many of them Jane could handle or Liara could transmit, but she agreed with Sha'ira in that the ones she already had were more than enough. She was already starting to feel as though it was overwhelming, and she didn't want to start confusing those memories with her own.

She changed into a pair of shorts and a shirt she pulled out of one of Danger's drawers, and laid in bed to practice the final technique. For this one, she would have to visualize Liara. For this one, she would have to clearly picture the asari in her mind, and set up a wall that would remain in place at all times. It saddened her to have to build that wall, but it was for Liara's own protection.

_I wonder if this is how Benezia felt, hiding her own memories and experiences from Liari. I wonder how much of herself she did show to the writer. _

Jane closed her eyes and tried not to think about that. It was bad enough she was feeling guilty over hiding these pieces from the only person she wanted to share everything with; she didn't need to carry the weight of Benezia's choices as well. That era was over, and Jane had to make sure that she was ready for the next one, and to protect Liara, no matter what her personal feelings were on keeping secrets.

Jane visualized the asari in her mind, and felt at peace. There wasn't another soul in the universe that had made the commander feel this alive. There wasn't another soul anywhere that could understand who Jane was inside of the soldier exterior.

_I don't really deserve her. She's so pure and untouched by the world. Everything about her is perfect. _

Jane exhaled and tried to ignore the sensation that had started creeping across her skin.

_Is this an ache I really want to lie here and chase tonight?_

Probably not. It was getting worse, though. With every day that passed, Jane felt like more and more of her time was spent pushing back the wave of emotions that overcame her every time she thought of the young scientist and less of it was spent focusing on the tasks ahead. This sort of thing wasn't supposed to happen to soldiers. Soldiers were supposed to be strong, and powerful, and always in command of their minds and bodies. The last thing that Commander Jane Shepard felt like these days was that she was actually in command of anything.

_How much longer can this go on? How much longer should I wait before saying something to her?_

Jane had no of way of knowing. She had never been in this situation in her life before. She'd had minor relationships in the past, but nothing that brought her to the level of internal anguish she was feeling with the distance between her and Liara. Those had been just flings, or one night stands just looking for a little comfort in Jane's arms. They were nothing particularly special, and the one girl she might have been really interested in was part of a rival gang, and was killed in a firefight before Jane had an opportunity to talk with her.

No, there had been no one quite like Liara. There was no one who stirred fire in the commander's core, no one who could set her skin ablaze with a look. There was no one else, and Jane couldn't have her. For whatever reason, she had to pick the one asari in the universe who was still trying to figure herself out.

_Hmm, I guess Danger and I aren't really all that different. We both picked impossible situations in the end. _

But, at least Jane had contact with Liara, even if it did currently have boundaries. She could at least talk to her asari and enjoy a small amount of physical contact, even though Liara would stop just short of taking those next steps.

_I wonder what goes through her mind when we are close like that. It's almost like she's arguing with someone, something, inside. I wonder if it has anything to do with this… thing… that was wrong with Liari…_

Jane turned over on her side and tried to go to sleep. She didn't want to lie here in pain half the night, wishing for Liara's touch. It was too much, and she knew there would be no way to extinguish the flames. She needed to just push those thoughts right out of her mind... and focus on sleep…

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Dreams<strong>_

_The nights grow long, and I can wait for you no longer. It's a short walk to your room, but it feels like it's taking an eternity. One foot in front of the other, steeling my will and convincing myself that it is time. It's an agonizing procession, as the thoughts flicker through my mind of what I will say; how I will express my need for you. Standing in front of your door, I ponder whether to knock, or just open as I have done so many times before. Thankfully, the doctor is asleep, and so she cannot observe my indecision, my confusion, and my obvious conflict. _

_I decide to just open the door. We are beyond the need for formalities, and I do not wish to delay any longer. The quarters are small, but it was the best accommodation I could provide. This is not a passenger ship, and it is far better than what even my crew is accustomed to. At least it is private, a small, secluded place where you can pursue your research in quiet comfort. I wanted at least that for you._

_I am immediately grateful that I did not make a big fuss at the entrance. You are already slumbering, soft, slow breaths causing the thin covers to rise and fall gently. You are lying on your side, as you had been that first night I came to your quarters, and I smile. It is almost as if you want to make sure there is room for me to slip in behind you, should the mood take me to visit. I stand here for a long time, just tracing every curve of your face with my eyes. You are perfect, and untouched, and somehow, I do not feel that I deserve you. I certainly do not deserve what I have come here for. _

_Still, my heart is on fire and lightning is racing through my core. I must be close to you, even if satisfaction is not to be mine this night. I slip out of my shoes, as I recall doing once before, and quietly slide in behind you, leaning slightly against the wall. Even this close, I can feel the electricity arc between us. I wonder if it is mutual; if the asari can even understand this current that runs through our human veins, the spark that boils our blood and sets our souls ablaze. Does it cause you the same pain that it causes me, to be so close, and so prepared to lay everything on the line, and yet have to hide it all inside, and stay within my boundaries? Are we in the same place, Liara, or am I here in the darkness, alone?_

_I want to pull you close to me, but I am fearful of disturbing you, and right now, the proximity is enough. I inhale deeply, and I am reminded of ancient things, ancient worlds, and the knowledge of ages long since passed. You are young, but in many ways, your mind encompasses truths far beyond what even the elders can contemplate. Your intellect is intoxicating, and I cannot imagine a time when I would not be captivated by the mere sound of your voice, articulating your deepest thoughts and observations. _

_I reach out my hand, and without making contact, trace along your side, starting at the shoulder and holding at your waist. I want so badly to touch you, but you are so peaceful and so unsuspecting, that I do not wish to confuse you and take advantage of what would surely be a dazed and half-hearted acquiesce. Back and forth, just above your slumbering form, I move my hand, closing my eyes and imagining what your skin would feel like underneath my fingertips. The electricity grows insistent, but I fight it back down. I can feel it heating up my skin with desire, and I pray that it doesn't wake you. _

_It does wake you, though, or perhaps you were never really slumbering at all…_

"_Why do you not touch me, Jane?"_

_I hear your whispered words, but I do not know the answer. I do not know how to respond. I feel more than see you turn slightly towards me, and my hand freezes midway back to my own side. I am locked in this place, stuck behind an electrical barrier in the air between us, and the cold steel of the wall against my back. What is the term that we humans used in the old days, deer in the headlights? Perhaps it is much like that. The next moments will mean either my demise or a new chapter in my life, and right now it is impossible to say which. _

_I know you are waiting for my answer, but I cannot speak. My mind has gone completely blank, and my hand is still frozen where it hovers. _

"_Jane… Why do you not touch me? Is it because; you do not really want me?"_

_I hear a slight hint of pain in your voice, and it breaks my heart. How could you think such a thing? My hand is back under the control of my scattered brain, and I reach out to grasp your hip and turn you toward me. Even in the dark, your eyes are luminescent, and I see now that there is no sleep in them. You were waiting for me. _

"_I do want you," I whisper as I pull on your waist, encouraging you closer. "I am just not sure, whether we are in the same place."_

_Your mind is keen, and I sense that you immediately understand what I am talking about. I feel your arm snake around my ribs, and your body push closer, as you whisper back, "I am in the same place… please…" _

_My mind is racing with the revelation, and I feel that my skin must surely be burning through this ship casualwear. There is no denying my desire, and I feel my hand, acting of its own volition, pull your body against mine with more insistence, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from you. There is no time for that, however, and no time to ponder whether it was in desire or I was simply too rough. My passion is that of a woman, and it's reached the boiling point. I slightly prop myself up on my elbow, and use that hand to cradle your head as I descend upon you, finally tasting your lips and focusing all the electricity, all the passion, and all the fire that has been haunting me these long months into that one act. I pray that it's enough to shatter any resistance you might have had to my advances, and I pray that I have awakened enough of the flames in your own body, that you have no choice but to submit to my will or be burned alive. I pray that you do not ask me to stop. I am not sure whether or not at this point, I even could._

_In this moment, I realize that our species are not so very different. I feel that your skin is on fire as well, and you push back against me with the same urgency, the same unconsciously controlled instinct. In fact, I am feeling slightly foolish now for my thoughts previously regarding your innocence. I can feel your passion is as deeply rooted as my own, and you are the first to start exploring the skin that lies beneath the physical barriers separating us. Your hand is lighting fires as it scrapes along my back, and I feel you pushing against my lips with bruising force. You are silently demanding it from me, demanding I lead you down this road of no return, and I am only too happy to comply. _

_Despite your passion, I do sense that your inexperience is giving you pause, and you are leaning on me to help you understand where to go with this new emotion, and how to ease the pain the electricity leaves in its wake. Your body is that of an adult, but it is frightening you and I know you want to be sure I'm here for the right reasons. I don't resist when I hear the almost audible click, and feel you push into my mind. There is no reason to, now, anyway. I have all the memories locked away and hidden, where you will not stray across them. I have taken great care to ensure that the knowledge I hold is kept to myself, until the time is right to share it with you. I know you are surprised at not needing to prepare my mind with the focusing words, but I have changed in these months and I am not the same as I was before. I am someone else now, Liara, and I am yours forever. _

_I feel you looking through my memories, and opening your own mind to my examination, should I wish to inspect. I am not interested in digging through your past at the moment, however, given that the present is far more insistent. I sense that you are losing interest in parsing my memories as well, and I feel you pushing against me again, forcing me against the wall and using it as leverage to keep yourself locked and aligned with my form. The innocent and frightened child of yesterday is quickly being eclipsed by the adult woman of today whose needs have drastically changed, and now instinct is taking over._

_I feel your lips part slightly, your tongue at first tentatively seeking, but then more insistent as you feel the electrical reward that reverberates within your core every time it comes into contact with mine. It's a fascinating feeling, and though I try and try, I cannot stop myself from chasing it this night. It seems you cannot either; I feel you gripping my clothing as if it could save you from drowning as you whimper softly, letting me know that it is affecting you in the same way it is affecting me. The clothing you grasp is becoming too constricting, however, and I sense that tonight we require more than can be accomplished in this state. I gently push you away, and see the hurt in your eyes as I do. It is replaced quickly by a heightened desire, however, as you realize it was only to allow me the open space to relieve you of the burden of your coverings. I am sure that my own eyes reflect that same primal craving, as you nearly rip through the barriers I, myself, bear._

_I am struck by a rather comical thought as I feel you move back against me, forcing me once again into our wall; passion and desire can be quantitatively measured by the time it takes to remove one another's clothing. An interesting thought, indeed._

_I have had quite enough of this game, though. My arms tighten around you, and I use the wall as a counterweight to force you onto your back, covering your body with my own. My brain ceases to function, as a high voltage charge is sent through to it when you grip into my back, pulling me against you and settling yourself beneath me. I feel you shifting slightly, tugging on my body and trying to alter my leverage. I'm curious as to what you are after, and I don't resist as your hips pivot beneath me, seeking to mesh with the most secret and sensitive skin my body harbors. The electricity arcs between us, and I feel you biting into my shoulder and sinking your nails into the muscle on my back to leverage yourself against the movements. I am beginning to think that perhaps I did not seduce such an innocent maiden, after all. _

_The current flowing through me with each slight movement is too much to bear. I almost want to break the contact, but you are holding me in place, almost as if you knew that somehow it would overload my senses and I would try to move away. I feel you in my mind, and though I don't hear the words articulated, I know what you are trying to express. You want more, you want me closer, and you want me to use my considerable strength to bring you to the point of no return. I feel your free leg curl around my waist, fully exposing your own mysteries and silently demanding contact, so I reach down and grip your hips, pulling you firmly against me and melting at the sound of your sighs as our skin slides together. _

_I can't even explain why I need this so much, or how this even happened. I find myself sending an inarticulate mental message, requesting you to bite harder into my shoulder, so that I might have a grounding point to focus on; someplace to try to direct the lightning; anything at all to cut through this haze of uncontrolled passion, but you sense my thoughts, and shake your head. Instead, you release your hold on my back and secure your fingers in my hair, lifting my face out of its resting point just next to yours, and forcing your lips almost painfully against mine. All thoughts of a grounding totem forgotten, I grip more securely into your hips, surely drawing blood at this point, and I push myself down harder onto your burning skin. You are trying to keep me focused in you, and I sense that you want nothing to distract us from the quickly sharpening throb in the deep recesses of dormant passion._

_It's going to happen soon, and I sense emotion rather than conscious thought in the most remote parts of my psyche that it's happening for you as well. Your hands are entwined in my hair painfully, but it's a magnificent contrast to the pleasures being felt elsewhere along my skin. I know that we are but seconds away from the moment our love and devotion will be cemented in eternity, and I seem to be able to form only one coherent thought…._

"_I will love you through every age, Liara."_

_I can neither speak nor think as I feel you accept my telepathically communicated vow and push your hips up against me one last time, quivering and blacking out at the compelling force of emotion my declaration and our lovemaking has thrust upon you. I am in love with you, and now I understand where those words come from. Now I understand, why she did what she did, and why she made the decisions that led to her eventual end. _

_I will love you through every age, Liara, and I sense that you too, will love me. We won't make the same mistakes they did._

_This time, it will be different._


	33. Chapter 32: What's in your head

**Chapter 32: What's in your head**

**-Heavens, undisclosed location**

_"I told you before, you cannot force this, Athame."_

_She shook her head at him and continued moving pieces on the board. "It is almost complete. I have gotten rid of the mechanic, and now I just need to make sure she is finished off. Then I will have nothing but time to get your Champion where she needs to be."_

_He leaned forward and thought about how to approach this with her. She was in one of her moods, and this was often the most dangerous time to be around her. _

_"My friend, you must let it go. Your little ploy did not work, and my Champion is not going to abandon the young one because of her lineage. Can you not just let them be happy? We have bigger threats to worry about than a mechanic courting one of your daughters..."_

_Her head snapped up and her eyes flashed. "I will not allow this to happen, Palladium. That bloodline cannot be tainted. If we make it through this, the progeny of that union will usher in a new era to my children."_

_"You are being ridiculous." He sat back again and crossed his arms. She truly was being ridiculous, and he didn't know how to get through to her. He looked at the piece of his champion, which was now fully covered in platinum. She had passed all of the trials, and now all that was left was for her to come to him and accept the gifts he had for her. She had to accept her Platinum Sword. She would ascend to the ranks of his Silver Hand, and take her place among her peers. There were only five hundred souls that had completed his trials over the millions of years he had ruled in the heavens, and he was impressed that this one had done it so quickly. She truly was special, and he had forged a unique blade for her. It would stay here in his Platinum Halls, but she would be able to draw upon its power when the time came. She would be able to draw from his own power, when she needed it most. _

_He turned his gaze to the image of the daughter she wanted his Champion paired with. The figurine wasn't facing his Chosen, and was instead fixated on a position just to his left. He knew why, but didn't bring that piece out of his queue. That would infuriate Athame, and there was no telling what she would do. He had fought with her enough times over the millenia to know that the outcome was unpredictable, and right now he couldn't afford to let her emotions start a war in the heavens. There was too much at stake, and he had to ensure that this time the machine-gods lost the battle. He had to do this for her, even if she didn't realize it. He knew this was killing her, and every civilization that fell cut another piece of her heart away. He could bear to watch it no longer.  
><em>

_He looked back at his Chosen, and smiled to himself as he took note of the direction she was facing. She was facing the young figurine Athame had placed so many moons ago; the one that bore the mark of the demon. He wasn't sure exactly what she had done to create that bloodline, but he knew that it was to play a major role in the final confrontation. He was actually glad that his Champion had fallen in love with this creature. If she had taken the path Athame wanted her to, she might not have passed through the trials and all of his preparation would have been for nothing. _

_He reached over and grasped the hand she was using to move pieces around the board. "You must let this go." His platinum eyes pierced her black ones, and she sighed and rubbed her temple with one of her free hands._

_"One last try. I need to make one last attempt to set this pairing in motion."_

_He reversed the direction of his hand and stood, lifting her to her feet. He moved around the table and placed his other hand gently on her cheek, tilting her face up to look at him. _

_"Very well, Athame. One last attempt, but if this fails, will you promise me you will let this go?"_

_She considered him for a moment, searching his platinum eyes, but eventually she acquiesced. She nodded and gripped his hand tightly.  
><em>

_"I will let this go. I need one last try though, and then I will let this go."_

_He smiled at her and then pivoted slightly to stand beside her. "Come with me, my friend. I have something to show you. I have finished forging the blade my Champion will attune herself to. It is my finest work, and I would like you to see it."_

_She looked one last time at the board, and then smiled at him. Her plans were in motion, and soon the mechanic would be out of the picture. Then the humans would have no choice but to send his Champion to attend to her selected daughter, and everything would fall into place. She could afford a little relaxation time to let Palladium show off his talent. He did make very beautiful blades, after all, and he did so love showing them to rest of the Pantheon. _

_"I would love to see your latest work, Palladium."  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Danger's Safe House, Later<strong>

Jane Shepard was jolted out of her dream by a loud knock at the door. It took her a few minutes to remember where she was. She half expected Liara to be lying next to her, naked and wrapped neatly in her arms, deep in slumber and exhausted from their lovemaking.

_Who could that possibly be? No one knows I'm here but Danger, and she wouldn't knock on her own door. This is ridiculous. I can't even finish a dream about her. This is so unfair._

Jane got out of bed and turned on a light. She rubbed her eyes a bit to try to adjust to the change in ambiance. She checked herself, but thankfully she wasn't covered in sweat this time. Looking at her omni-tool to check the time, she found she had been asleep for…

_An hour? That can't be right. Damn it. That was a weird dream. It felt... Gosh yea I should just stop thinking about it. I guess dreams just aren't supposed to make any sense. It's got to have something to do with all these other things that are going on in my head. I need to get a grip on things.  
><em>

The knock grew louder and more insistent, so Jane grabbed her pistol, and went to see who was there.

_Whoever it is, I hope you give me a reason to use this. That's one vision I wouldn't have minded spending some more time in…_

Jane opened the door, and leveled her pistol at the intruder.

"Jane!"

Liara T'Soni instinctively put up a barrier, and took a step back.

"Wow, Liara, what the heck are you doing here? How did you find me?"

_Ok, that's _really_ not fair…_

"Danger, of course."

Jane lowered the pistol and rolled her eyes. Of course it would have been Danger. No one else in the universe had timing like her mercenary friend…

"She told you where I was?" Jane put the gun down on a table and waited for the explanation.

"Well, not voluntarily." Liara dismissed her barrier and turned slightly. Jane noticed that her skin was glowing blue with the power of her biotics. Slowly, Danger floated into sight, caught in a stasis field.

"Jane, I'll have you know I've decided I don't like your girlfriend anymore."

"Whoa, Liara. That's… That's hysterical." Jane couldn't help herself. She fell to the floor with laughter, her anger forgotten.

And it _was_ hysterical. Danger was upside-down and had her arms and legs akimbo, as if she was doing some sort of inverted meditation.

"This isn't funny, Jane. I'm starting to get a headache here!"

"Well no one told you to turn upside down, Danger. I didn't put you in there that way."

"Oh Liara, I can't stand it. I need a picture of this, hold on." Jane picked herself up from the floor and turned her arm slightly.

"Don't you dare! Or I swear to you I will track down every last bit of those scrawny images of you, reconstruct them and blow them up into holiday cards."

"Danger, you know what? This is so worth it."

Danger just grinned and then turned herself right-side up again. "Ok, I got you here. You can put me down now."

Liara smiled and lowered the human to the ground next to her. "Thank you Danger," she whispered so Jane couldn't hear.

Danger whispered back and winked, "Anytime, Liara."

The mercenary made a big show of dusting herself off and looking miffed. Shaking a finger vaguely in the general direction of nothing, she stated, "Jane if your girlfriend ever puts me in that bubble again I'm going to have to get rough with her."

Jane looked at Danger, and started laughing again. "Ok, ok, Liara, no more biotics on Danger, please. We'll never hear the end of it."

"Hmph. That's better. Well Ned is here with the ship so I am going to grab this transmission and go load it up. I'll be back in a little while, and then you and me are going out for drinks, Jane. So you um… Better get dressed. How do you do that to clothes, anyway? On anyone else in the universe those would look different." Danger shook her head.

"Hey, it's not my fault they don't fit right. Of course I'm not going to look right in clothes designed for elcor."

"Elcor! Oh that's it Jane, you are gonna pay for that one!" Danger tackled her friend and the two of them rolled across the floor, laughing hysterically, stopping only when they heard the door slam. Slowly, the two looked up to find a very stern looking Liara gazing down at them.

"She started it!" said Danger.

"I, what? I did not. You started it!" Jane kicked at the mercenary and caught her in her bruised eye.

"Ouch, damn it. Ow. Oh yea! That felt good. Here, kick it again, while I'm still down!" Danger leaned forward and presented the side of her face, motioning for Jane to continue.

Jane pulled back her foot, but then thought better of it. "Danger… Are you ok?"

"Yea, of course. I'm fine Jane. Listen I'm going to get this thing out of here and onto the ship." Danger stood up, walked over to the corner of the room, and started pushing the cart out the door. "I'll see you in a bit."

Liara closed the door after Danger left, and leaned up against it. Jane stood and adjusted her clothing in an effort to look presentable.

"What are you doing here, Liara?"

"I wanted to see you. You have not contacted me, at all and I was a little… bothered by it. I really, needed to see you tonight, for some reason." She looked the commander over, and decided that Danger was probably right. The human hadn't been spending her time here in the consort's arms. What her purpose with the asari was, Liara couldn't guess, but at least her mind was at ease that Jane hadn't been seeking satisfaction elsewhere for things she wasn't getting from their relationship.

_Yet, things she is not getting yet… It is starting to become… urgent. The fantasies are getting too realistic, and they are even invading my waking hours now._

Truthfully, Jane looked a little goofy. She was wearing a scrappy shirt and shorts that were a bit too big on her. She certainly wasn't dressed how Liara was accustomed to seeing her. Jane Shepard was always so polished and together, and her uniforms always fit her form perfectly. The sight of her relaxed, just lounging around, was sort of peaceful. It was a side of Jane that Liara decided she liked.

_Those clothes are obviously Danger's. She probably borrowed them so she did not have to come back to the Normandy. _

"Yea, I'm sorry about that Liara. I didn't mean to worry you. I did send Danger, though I see maybe that hasn't gone so well."

"It is fine. I just had to persuade her to give me this location. I probably should not have come here, but I missed you, Jane."

The commander smiled and held her arms open. Liara smiled back and locked her own around the human's neck. "Liara, I just had to come here to deal with some stuff regarding… visions. That was all. I didn't go to her for… that."

"I know, Jane."

"Here, have a seat." Jane led Liara to a couch and then sat down next to her. "So why did you come all the way out here, and why does Danger think she's dragging me out for drinks?"

"Well, part of that was my suggestion." Liara leaned back on the couch, and noticed something on the table. Picking it up, her eyes narrowed and she looked at Jane. "I did not know you were so interested in asari culture." She tossed the datapad at the commander.

"It's just something I was given to look at. Why, you don't like it?"

Liara looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose I do. I mean, I never really understood what the fascination was, but I suppose she was a decent writer. I am named after her, you know."

Jane felt her heart stop, and tried her best to look disinterested.

_She knows she is named after Liari? How did she find out? What else does she know?_

"Oh?" Jane replied, trying to appear nonchalant and being painfully aware of another who had responded to a very different question, long ago, in much the same way.

"Yes. Everybody was it seemed. She died the year I was born, and there must have been twenty five Liaris and nearly as many Liaras in my class alone. Benezia was interested in her writings, and I guess was interested enough that she named me after the poet. Everybody was interested in her, though. Words and phrases from that publication," she indicated the datapad Jane now held, "became common expressions."

Jane let out her breath as softly as she could. "So, what else do you know about her?"

Liara waved a hand. "Not much. Her writings never really interested me. I read all her journals in school of course, but she wrote more about the habitability of planets and things like that, with vague references to their effect on some medical condition she had and notes that seemed to be meant for a love interest. She found the occasional ruin here and there and apparently brought pieces back to Thessia, but she did not seem particularly interested in the origins of the objects she found. I found it somewhat dry, but it was part of the curriculum."

"This was part of the curriculum?" Jane held up the datapad.

"No, that was not part of it. The journals were. However, everyone on Thessia has read that book. Liari is some sort of icon."

Jane put the datapad back on the table. "I only read a few pages in it. Some of it scared me."

Liara nodded. "There is not too much information about her medical condition, but some thought that she was some sort of a demigod. I am not really sure though, given the way that she died. It just does not seem very, mystical or what you would expect. It was very sad, but there was nothing particularly otherworldly about it."

"So your mother was a fan?"

"Everyone was, especially among those her age." Liara looked a little exasperated. "You couldn't walk five steps without hearing someone talking about the book, the author, or the tragedy for at least half a century. I guess it was different for them than it was for me. I mean, they had spent their entire lives reading those journals and had more or less grown up with her. To me, it was just another book, and it wasn't about history."

Jane nodded slowly and thought about how to approach her next question.

"You don't really talk about Benezia much."

"And what would I say? I prefer to remember her the way she was, before…"

"I understand that, but I mean you never talk about the way she was. You never really talk about her at all."

"I do not really want to bore you, Jane."

Jane cocked her head quizzically at the asari. "Liara, why on earth would you think that would bore me?"

"Well I… I uh… I am not really sure. I just, I have already said so many embarrassing things."

"Liara, we are way past that awkward stage now, right? I want to know about you. Why wouldn't I want you to talk to me about things that are important to you?"

"Well, I am not sure how to answer that. This is all, so new. What do you wish to know?"

"Everything."

Liara just shook her head and smiled. "That is quite a lot, Commander."

"Oh, we're back to 'Commander' now, huh?" Jane nudged the asari playfully. "How about just telling me about Benezia?"

Liara leaned back on the couch and looked up toward the ceiling. "You know, no one has ever really asked me about that before? It is almost like, no one ever really cared, not even the others around who helped to take care of me. I always felt like they, I… am not sure how to explain it. It is almost as if they respected her, but never trusted her, or they were frightened. They treated me… differently. I guess it is because she was such a spiritual leader." Liara shook her head and looked back at Jane.

"My mother taught religion and philosophy, but I do not think she always did that. She was always closed about personal things and kept herself locked away. I do not know much about her past at all. But despite her secrecy about it, she was always very kind to me. I remember one day I was trying to get into a cupboard that I knew she kept sweets in, and I climbed on a counter. It was a silly thing to do, but I was a child and I just wanted the sweets. I lost my balance, and grabbed the cupboard door to try to regain it, but I fell off the counter and sliced open both of my hands on a sharp fastener on the way down."

Liara closed her eyes and smiled at the memory. "I remember being so scared that she was going to scold me for trying to get into the sweets, but she just… Dropped to her knees next to me, and took my hands in hers and cried. She tended to them so carefully, you see?" Liara showed her hands, palms out, to Shepard. "There are no scars. You cannot even tell, even though the cuts were extremely deep. She was so careful, and did her best to not cause me any pain. She never even said a word about the sweets or me climbing on the counter. Not one word, Jane. That is my favorite memory."

Liara's eyes took on a faraway look, and Jane just smiled. She loved hearing the asari talk.

"I had other injuries throughout my childhood, of course. Scraped knees, minor cuts, bruises, the typical things. But she never tended the others with such care as she did that injury to my hands." Liara curled her hands into fists and crossed her arms. "I never asked her why, and now I suppose I never will."

"Liara, I'm sorry…"

"No, Jane, I have to face it sooner or later. You keep trying to comfort me and I keep resisting, and it is not right. I trust you with this." She turned herself around and leaned against the commander, who settled into the couch and wrapped the asari in her arms. "I trust you with this, Jane. There is just so much that is unexplained, and I wish she were here. I should have asked her these questions instead of just disappearing to the stars. I should have done so many things, but I always thought… I just... I always thought I would have more _time_, Jane. When your life expectancy is a thousand years, you always think you have more time. But, time gets away from you, and now I will never be able to ask her the things I wanted to."

Jane closed her eyes and squeezed Liara. "It's ok. These things all happen for a reason. Maybe when we are done with the mission we can go back to Thessia and see if she left anything for you, like a message or something like that."

Liara twisted to look at the human. "Do you mean that?"

Jane looked a little confused. "Of course I mean that. Why wouldn't I mean that?"

Liara settled back against the human. "I do not know why I said that. Yes, that is a good idea. I will need to see to her estate anyway, at some point. Benezia did not have any other daughters."

"It's clear that she loved you very much. What was that nickname she used for you?"

Liara chuckled. "Little Wing, and it was not really that special. It was just another thing out of that ridiculous book that everyone decided was the new gospel. But you are right, she did love me and I do know that. She was always gentle with me, and listened to what I said. She was not even angry when I left. She just smiled and nodded, and told me that if I ever sent a call, this time she would respond. I am not quite sure what she meant by that, but it was comforting. And then, she just prepared a pack for me and let me go."

Jane smiled. Yes, surely Benezia would not have made the same mistake twice. If her daughter called, she would answer, this time.

"What was in the pack?"

"Not much. There were just some supplies, some datapads, and a few pens even though I never used them; and a small shovel."

"A shovel?" Jane thought about one of her dreams, and tried to keep her breathing even.

_Is it possible that it's somehow linked? How could it be...? A shovel..._

"Yes, I am not sure where she got it, but it is a very valuable artifact. It is made out of some sort of silver alloy, though I am not certain exactly what the material is. I never actually used it at a site. It is too small to be very useful anyway. I keep it with my things. It seemed important to her somehow."

Jane nodded. _At least Benezia honored Liari's last wishes. She passed on the shovel. I wonder... I wonder what it looks like... No, stop thinking about that, Jane. They are just dreams and that's an end to it. Liara is all that is important, anyway. I need to put all this into a document and have Danger set it up to be delivered… Maybe Sha'ira will give me that last letter to put with my own letters. Someday, Liara deserves to know why that shovel was so special. The letter was painful, but it belongs in Liara's hands._

"I'm glad you told me these things, Liara. You can tell me anything, you know."

"I know Jane. This is not really the reason I came here, though."

"Hmm? Is something bothering you?"

"A little, yes, but it is bothering her far more."

"Her? Her who?"

"Danger. She has been here about a week now, right?"

Jane thought about it. There had been the war games, and then the bar night, and then the break to drill, and then they went to see Shiala, and now her visits to the Consort… "Yea it's probably been about that, sure. Why?"

"Well, do you not think it strange that the matriarch has not made any sort of contact?"

"I guess, but Danger hasn't exactly gone out of her way to contact Terriana, either. Maybe it's like she said and the matriarch hasn't even noticed she's gone."

"That is what worries me, Jane. Danger is taking this extremely hard. She is looking for trouble. Every time I see her, I can feel the despair just radiating out of her. It is getting worse."

"Ok, well there isn't much I can do about it, Liara."

"I think you can. I suggested the two of you go out tonight. She needs you, Jane." Liara sat up and turned to the human. "She needs you. I think you have been too worried about us to really see what your friend is going through. You and I, we are ok. Go out and have some fun with her tonight, and try to get through to her before she self-destructs."

Jane looked at Liara, and smiled. "How can I deny you anything? I'll go try to straighten Danger out tonight." She turned Liara around again and pulled her back where she was originally resting. "I'll get her sorted out. Maybe I'll get really lucky, and she'll get drunk enough that she has to spend the night in my bed again, freeing me to invade yours."

Liara wiggled against Jane, and the commander was reminded of another memory, of another time, in another woman's head, long ago.

"Maybe." Liara turned her head slightly to look at the human above her, and Jane's breath caught at the look in her eyes and the slight lowering of her voice as her playful wiggling turned suddenly serious. "Of course, even if Danger does not get too drunk, you could find a reason to suggest she returns to your cabin on the Normandy, instead of here..."

_What is she suggesting? Dear lord, is she saying what I think she's saying?_

Jane inhaled sharply, and tightened her grip around the asari. Liara bit her lower lip and glanced at Jane's mouth, then back to her eyes. The commander could feel the change in the asari's breathing, and it sent electricity through her veins straight to her fingertips.

_Oh no, she is saying what I think she is saying… how am I going to get through this night, knowing she's here, waiting for me? Damn it Danger, why couldn't you have just gone to Omega?_

Jane closed her eyes as she felt Liara's hand lightly touch her cheek and slide around to the back of her neck, pulling on her and silently begging her to close the distance. Jane lost all ability to think and will to resist as she felt Liara lift her head slightly and whisper, "I _am_ in the same place… please…"

"Whoa, you guys will never believe what's going on in Chora's Den! They imported some fancy strippers from Omega and its drink specials all night! Holy shit… Damn it… Jane, I'm soooooo sorry!" Danger threw up her hands and started to back out the door. "I will totally come back… some other… century…" The embarrassed mercenary turned to run, but Liara got up and put her in another stasis field.

_Did Liara see my dream? Oh hell… And of course, this is when Danger decides to walk in, fucking it all up like a boss, yet again. _Jane closed her eyes and clenched a fist; clearly ready to decorate Danger's other eye. After a moment, she relaxed. Liara was right. They were ok, and Danger was not. It wasn't Danger's fault, and she could have Liara later.

_Wow, that thought is going to follow me the entire night… I can have Liara later… Liara… wants me to come back here tonight… She's going to be here, waiting for me tonight… I'll come back here later, and… Did she see my vision? I guess I am doing a terrible job of keeping things hidden from her… I really should see Sha'ira again. There's clearly more to this than just… a few transferred memories. I haven't even kissed her yet and somehow she knows all my thoughts.  
><em>

Jane shook her head to clear it, and stood up. "Liara, you had better let her out of that thing. She looks mortified enough as it is. Danger, don't worry about it. Let's go get some drinks, but are you sure you want to go to that hell hole?"

"You bet I do!"

"Jane, I cannot let her out. She has turned herself upside down again…"

"Just drop her. Maybe it will knock some sense into that pea brain of hers."

"Hey! Ouch, Liara! That's so not cool."

Liara just giggled. "I am sorry Danger, but I cannot disobey an order from the commander."

"Oh please, I really don't need to hear your bedroom talk! Gosh. Jane, let's go! Are you sure you aren't going to come, Liara?"

Liara waved a hand. "No, I am going to stay here and search your safe house. Who knows what interesting things could be hidden here!"

"Well ok, but just stay out of that wall." Danger leaned toward Liara conspiratorially and pointed to a seemingly benign location. "That's where I keep the good toys." With an exaggerated wink, she artfully dodged the datapad Jane threw at her and disappeared out the door. "See you at Chora's, Jane!"

Jane stood there and shrugged. "I don't know what you are talking about, Liara. She seems better than ever to me."

Liara stood looking at the door for a few minutes, and then turned to the commander. "She's not, and you know she is not. Go Jane, I am going to just order something to eat and relax. Maybe I will read some of that stupid book." She gestured to the datapad which was now on the floor.

"You don't want to read this trash, especially when Danger has this place outfitted with the finest in entertainment." Jane picked up the datapad and stowed it in her pocket. "Ok, well I will see you later on then." Jane embraced the asari, kissed her on the forehead, and started out the door.

"Jane?"

"Yea?"

"Not like that…" Liara gestured to Jane' outfit.

Jane looked down at her attire and grinned. "No, definitely not. What would I do without you?"

Liara smiled, curled up on the couch with her legs under her, and started punching things into her Omni-tool as Jane slipped into Danger's bedroom to change.


	34. Chapter 33: Games of love and war pt V

**Chapter 33: Games of love and war, Part V**

**-Citadel, Chora's Den**

"Danger, I can't believe you wanted to come to this hole." Jane Shepard took a seat across from her friend, who was carefully stuffing cred notes into an attractive asari stripper's outfit.

"What, we always go to the Flux. It's time for a change!"

The asari dancer leaned down into Danger and whispered, "You know, I'm done here in twenty minutes. We can ditch your boring friend and take the party elsewhere…"

"Danger, don't you even think about it. Sorry lady, she's busy at the moment. Get your ass over here." Jane grabbed her friend by the arm and pulled her to a booth without a stripper. "What's gotten into you, Danger? You have never wanted to come to this place before."

Danger sighed, downed the rest of her drink and then signaled to a waitress to bring another. "Jane, I'm fine. I don't know what it is with you and Liara that makes you think there is this major issue, but I am telling you, there is no issue whatsoever. So maybe I want to sow a few wild oats. I think I've earned the right to get a little ass after all I have done to help the jackmaroons in this universe."

"Have you heard from Terriana?"

Danger slammed her hand on the table. "Now why in the hell does everyone think that the more you bring her up, the better I will feel? Tell me Jane, if Liara was out bouncing Williams' tits instead of pining for you at my safe house, do you think that it would be beneficial to you for me to bring up her name every five fucking seconds?"

"Geeze, Danger, something in you really has snapped. I have never heard you talk this way before. You really need to call her and just tell her you're in love with her. Get some closure and know one way or the other."

"Calling her is the last thing I need to do. What would that accomplish, anyway? It won't change things. She'll still have that commando, and who knows what is going on there while I'm here. Maybe they've already bonded and got a bun in the oven. Who the fuck cares. No, everything is fine. I'll finish up here, and then head to Omega. I already made the arrangements to get my cars off the planet. They are being picked up next week, and they will be safe and sound back at my garage on Earth in no time. There's nothing left of me there, now."

"Maybe she wants to talk to you."

"Right, because it's so hard to pick up a com herself."

"She might not know how to contact you."

"Jane, she's fucking seven hundred years old. I'm sure she knows how to pick up an Omni-tool and do a search."

Jane sat back against the chair. The mercenary was right, of course. It wasn't like there were very many Darla Vances in the universe that happened to be extraction specialists with a love of cars and wide reputation for being a complete ass. Terriana could find Danger, if she really wanted to find Danger.

_Liara was right, as usual. Danger is a wreck, and I'm just making it worse. I wish she had come with us. What in the hell made her think I could handle this alone?_

Jane sat back and silently watched as her friend downed another drink, and then another.

"Danger, you need to slow down a bit."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. This isn't going to do any good either. It's just going to get you a punch in the other eye."

Danger grinned. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"It helps me forget, Jane."

"No it doesn't help you forget Terriana, it helps you forget who you are and do stupid shit like stuff creds down an asari's thong. Gosh Danger, you have no idea where that girl has been. Seriously."

"Well I wasn't going to sleep with her, Jane. Give me a _little _credit here."

"I don't know, Danger. The last time I went to a bar with you, Liara and I had to drag you out of the waves of asari. I think you intended to bed every one of them."

Danger leaned back in her chair, and looked surprisingly serious. "Jane, I intended no such thing. I just needed to feel wanted. Just a little bit. Do you understand?"

The commander looked at her friend and nodded. "I know, Danger. I know. Hey, what's all this about?"

The waitress had returned and brought them some strange looking orange colored drinks. "Compliments of the lady," she said, gesturing to an attractive asari who looked to be in matriarchal years.

Danger looked at the woman, and nodded. "Maybe she wants a threesome, Jane. You sure you don't want to walk on the wild side?"

"I think I'll take a pass. What is this stuff, anyway?"

"I don't know. One way to find out." Danger upended her drink, and then shrugged and nodded. "It's not bad."

"All right, I'll take your word for it." Jane drank hers, and nodded her agreement. "Ok, yea it's not that bad. But I'm still not going to have a threesome with you and some random matriarch."

Danger grinned. "But Jane, it would be the time of your life!"

"Mm hm, Danger you know they only want you because you are tall and blonde, right? They just want your DNA, they don't want you."

"Why Jane, are you making a pass at me? A few more drinks and we _will_ be in bed with that matriarch! Hell yea!"

The commander rolled her eyes. "Danger, I'm so out of your league it's not even funny."

"You wish." Danger signaled the waitress to bring another round. "So, I see you are making progress with Liara."

"A little and no thanks to you."

"Hey, I had no idea what was going on in there. Next time, just hang a sign on the door or something!"

"Yea, I'll do that."

"So… I guess she's gotten over whatever her hangup was?"

"I don't know, Danger. She wants me to ditch you and go back there tonight. I mean, it seemed like she was suggesting… something… But I'm still not sure."

Danger shook her head and leaned forward, one hand on the table. "Jane, I did have 'the talk' with you, right? I mean, like, you know what goes on, right?"

Jane threw a straw at her friend. "Yes Danger, I know 'what goes on'. Quit being an ass."

"All right all right," she put up her hands defensively. "I'm just checking. It's kind of my responsibility you know."

"Yea, I guess." Jane finished her drink and stretched. "You did a lot for me back then, Danger. Don't think that I forgot it."

Danger grinned, and then shook her head. "Jane?"

"Yea Danger?"

Danger's head dropped, and she snapped it back up again. "I don't… I'm not…"

Jane stared at her friend, who looked to be struggling to keep her head up. She tried to concentrate on Danger's eyes, but her own head was swimming…

"Jane… We're in trouble…"

"Not… sure… what you… what you mean Danger…"

"Shit… We've been drugged."

The tall mercenary's head hit the table just as Jane slumped back in her seat. A small detachment of commandos swiftly moved in, picked the two unconscious humans up, and carried them out the back of the bar.

* * *

><p><strong>-Undisclosed location, small room<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard awakened and looked at her surroundings. She was shackled to a chair, and the room she was in was damp with sweat and smelled horrible. It was clearly a transport for some sort of trafficking.

"Great. You'd think she would have at least put me in better accommodations. Damn. And I was supposed to see Liara tonight. I'm going to kill her for this." Jane started pulling at the shackles holding her wrists and trying to move her chair.

"I didn't put you here, Jane."

Jane turned her head, a little startled, and saw out of the corner of her eye that Danger was there with her, shackled to her own chair, back to back against her.

"Danger, what the hell?"

"I don't know, Jane. I didn't do this though. My guys weren't going to grab you until tomorrow. I figured you might need a little more time with the Consort or whatever."

"Ok, so if you didn't do this, who did?"

"I have no idea, but we had better worry about who to blame later. I have a feeling these guys are pissed."

"Ok, so what are we going to do?"

"I don't know. They took all my tools. There's one that they didn't get, but I can't reach it at the moment. Shhh, I hear voices."

The two humans listened intently to what sounded like a whispered conversation outside the door. The guards must have noticed they were awake and called in their leader. After a few moments, the entrance opened, and a tall human with a disfigured face walked in.

"Well, looks like someone finally caught the Philadelphia Phantom."

"I should have known. Well hello, big ugly. You've gotten better."

"No, you've gotten sloppy, Vance. A year ago you would have never made a novice mistake like that." He hit her across the face with the butt end of his assault rifle. "A year ago, you were untouchable. Not now. Now, you are mine. I've been tracking you since you came to the Citadel." He hit her again, in the stomach this time.

Danger winced, but she did not cry out. "How did you know I was there?"

"People talk, especially when you are involved, Vance. Good news travels fast. The people you have saved just can't keep their filthy fucking mouths shut, can they?"

"Apparently not. Well, what do you want then?"

"What do I want?" He grinned, revealing rotting teeth, and leaned close to Danger. "I want you to suffer, and suffer you will. Your officer friend here should more than make up for the payday you stole from me, once I ransom her back to the Alliance. As for you, after I've had my fill, I _might_ leave you to your fate on the surface of some planet, but we will have to see how you behave, and what my mood is." He forcefully pressed his lips against hers, and Danger had to fight back the bile.

"Ugh, that was even worse than I always imagined it would be." She turned away from his stench, and he backhanded her. "You're mine, Vance, and I'll be back later. This time, you won't make a fool of me. I think I'll let you consider your situation for a while. Maybe then you will be more… open… to suggestions, after you've thought on your options." He hit her across the face with his rifle one more time, and then walked out the door.

"Them JPs sure know how to hold a grudge, don't they?"

"Are you ok, Danger?"

"Yea, I'm fine Jane. You get used to being smacked around a lot in my line of work. I bet I really look like hell now, though. Gosh, why is it always the face?"

"We need to get out of here."

"Yea. Well, just give me a second. I'm working on it. Any idea how long we have been here?"

"Best guess? A day at the least, two tops. Long enough for someone to have realized something happened. Liara must have gotten suspicious when I didn't come back. Hopefully she told Ash and they are out looking for us now. You had better figure out whatever you are going to figure out faster though. He might change his mind and decide to come in here and slap you around some more."

"If only. Damn it, I really hate having to do this." Danger closed her eyes, and bit her lower lip. "Jane, when we get out of here, promise me that you'll let Tali medigel me."

Jane had no idea what her friend was talking about, but if it made her more likely to find a way out of this repugnant room, she would say anything. "Sure Danger. Tali can medigel you."

_If we get out of here…_

"Ok. Here we go." Danger turned her head and bit deeply into the shoulderguard on her shirt, leveraged her legs around those of the chair, and then leaned her body to the right and yanked her left hand, hard. Jane heard a bone crunching snap and winced as Danger broke her thumb. Danger didn't cry out, but Jane thought she heard a muffled grunt, and knew her friend had to be in pain. Danger shook her head to clear it, and then forcefully leaned in the other direction, causing more crunching noises. Finally, she was able to pull her hand out of the shackles.

"Damn it, it hurts worse every time I have to do that."

"Danger, you are insane."

"Well I don't see you coming up with any brilliant ideas, Alliance Soldier! Shouldn't you be like turning into the Hulk or something, and using your epic brute strength to break us out of here?"

"Whatever. Ok so you have a broken hand now, and how does that help us?"

"Shut up, Jane, I'm trying to concentrate." Danger slammed her hand against the armrest of the chair again, to push her thumb back into what she hoped would be a close enough location to where it belonged to be able to medigel it later, and reached behind her head to remove her hair fastener. Gripping it with her teeth, she slid out a tiny metal sliver that didn't look like it was very useful for anything.

"One second Jane. He's using these old shackles that came with this model of ship. Stupid ass should have upgraded these." It took her a full ten minutes to free her right hand, since she couldn't manipulate the lockpick as easily as she would have been able to with fully function fingers and she wasn't left-handed, but she managed it in the end and then quickly freed her legs.

"He's a jackass, and I'm still as good as ever. I've just been distracted, is all." Danger stood and got to work on Jane's shackles. "Ok soldier, I got us out of the locks, now how the hell are we going to get off of this ship?"

"Who is he? Do you have any idea how many men he has?"

"He's a real slimeball, and that's all you need to know right now. He was big on human trafficking back in the day, men, women, children, it didn't matter to him. He kidnapped anyone, raped most of them, and then sold them off to the highest bidder. Worthless piece of trash. As far as how many men he has… No clue. Could be a dozen, could be a hundred. Honestly I thought he was dead. I blew his ship up years ago. No idea how he managed to get off it, but worms like him are always slippery. They always seem to have a way out…"

Jane looked around the room for anything they could use. There wasn't much, except the chairs and the shackles that attached through large rings to the floor. This room was meant for prisoners. She could probably channel the platinum and break the chairs apart, but she didn't know how many men were on the ship and Danger wasn't a fighter. The two of them with only clubs would be no match for armed mercenaries.

"There's nothing we can use in here. How's your hand?"

"It will be fine. I've pushed through worse pain than this."

_She really would have made a good soldier. It's too bad she didn't join up with me. Then she would have a clue how to fight.  
><em>

Danger walked over to a corner of the room. "There's a duct here, but I won't be able to get through it. You should be able to fit, though. It'll be tight until it intersects with the main part of the ventilation system." Danger jumped, and locked the fingers of her right hand through the mesh, using her weight to pull the cover back down with her.

Jane went over to where her friend was standing and looked up. "I don't see that we have much of a choice."

"All right. Take your shirt off."

"What?"

"Just do it, Jane. It's nothing I haven't seen before."

Jane had no idea what the mercenary was up to, but she knew better than to argue with Danger when on a job. She took off her shirt and threw it on the ground.

"Don't just throw it there, Jane, and quit flexing your muscles like that. This is totally not the time."

Jane just stared at her blankly.

Danger just grinned idiotically. "Tuck it into the back of your pants or something. You don't want to be running around shirtless on a ship like this, believe me."

"Fine. What are you doing?" She grabbed the shirt from the floor and tucked it into the back of her trousers.

Danger was leaning over and fussing at something at her leg. After a few moments, she stood up and presented a small pouch. "This is going to get you through that duct." She bit off a corner of the pouch, and squeezed out some sort of oil on her hands and started putting it on Jane's shoulders and the side of her arms. "I ain't gonna rub it on your titties so don't even ask," she said with a grin.

"You keep that with you at all times? Seriously? What is wrong with you?"

Danger nodded. "Yup. You never know when you will have to crawl through a ventilation duct, and it's easily overlooked, just like my hair tie. Speaking of which, can you," she turned around and pointed to her wild hair.

"Why do you keep it so long, Danger?"

"What, you prefer the crew cut look? No thanks. Just tie it back and quit giving me a hard time already!"

Jane took the circular clip back from Danger and fastened the human's hair again.

"Thanks Jane. You have no idea how hard that is to do with only one thumb. All right, up you go. Now, it's going to immediately curve around, so keep your arms below you and just squeeze through as best you can. It will open up again after it gets more deeply into the ship's bowels. You are going to be on your own up there, Jane. There's no way I will fit through that duct – it's going to be tight enough for just you as it is. Here, take the rest of this oil, in case you need it at another duct."

Jane reluctantly accepted the pouch, and tried her best to fold it neatly and stow it in a pocket. It was a greasy mess, and she tried not to think of what kind of oil it was.

_Probably engine oil or something like that. I hope it's not... used... oil...  
><em>

"Are you sure this stuff isn't toxic, Danger?"

The mercenary looked at her friend. "You'll be fine, Jane. It's not baby oil, but it won't burn your skin off. Just get up there!"

Jane gave her the thumbs up, and the mercenary knelt down and connected her hands to give Jane a boost into the duct. The tall human easily pushed Jane into the shaft, and the commander wriggled into the duct and around the corner. After a while, she found Danger was right, and the duct expanded until it was high enough that she could turn around and poke her face back across the opening.

"Ok, so now what am I supposed to do?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, Jane. You're the sailor; don't you know how these things are built?"

"I know my way around the parts of the ship you are actually supposed to travel, Danger, not the air shafts."

"Well, you don't have to worry too much about them turning on the climate control, if we are in orbit somewhere. My guess is we are near Omega. That bitch ruler tends to let scum like this hang about, as long as they don't start trouble. You'll be safe for as long as they think we are still in here. You aren't going to have much time though. I'll sit in the chair and make like we're being good little prisoners, but sooner or later one of them is going to come in here to taste the wares..."

"All right Danger. I'll see if I can get us some weapons. Just hang tight and try not to... Do anything stupid."

"Good luck, Jane." Danger did her best impression of an Alliance salute, and turned to take her place back at the chairs.

"Yea, good luck, Danger," Jane whispered, before backing up and turning around in the shaft once more. Jane had done jobs with Danger before, but they were always on the outside getting in. This time, they were on the inside, and had to get out. This time, the tables had turned.


	35. Chapter 34: Games of love and war pt VI

**Chapter 34: Games of love and war, part VI**

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Danger's Safe House, Next morning<strong>

Liara woke in Danger's bed. She sat up and looked around, but neither the mercenary nor the commander had been back that night. Nothing had been disturbed.

_That is odd… I wonder why Jane did not come back. _

She hadn't planned on falling asleep, but after a few hours of lying there in silence, slumber overtook her. She blamed Danger for that. It seemed that while the mercenary had access to every bit of technology the Citadel had to offer and was patched into the networks of every world, somehow she had rigged the video devices to show nothing but _And Justicars for all_, a rather… distasteful… asari porn vid, on every single channel. Liara was sure it was meant as a joke, but it still made for a very boring night.

She got up and changed back into her own ship casualwear. She had put on the ridiculous outfit Jane had been wearing the previous night, which was even bigger on her than it was on the commander, and slipped into the bed sometime during the evening to wait. But, the human never returned. Liara was more than a little disappointed.

_What could have happened? I am sure that Jane wanted to come back. We have been waiting for this opportunity for… a really long time now. Maybe I am reading the signals wrong. Maybe she has already given up on me. Maybe she decided to stay out all night with Danger instead. Maybe these thoughts really are just in my head, and not some connection to Jane's mind. Where would she have gone?_

The asari decided the first place to look would be the Normandy. If Jane had decided to just skip their rendezvous, she would probably have gone back to her own cabin, and Danger would have gone to sleep in one of her cars. Liara made her way to the docking level of the Citadel, and entered the ship. It was quiet, as most of the crew was either ashore enjoying the reprieve, or sleeping off the aftereffects of enjoying the reprieve. There wasn't a soul in sight.

_It is so different than when we are all together. It is a little too quiet right now. Everyone is scattered, and it feels like at any moment, it could all be over. _

Liara felt a stab of pain at that thought. She hadn't contemplated what it would actually be like when the mission was over. She was spending so much of her time and energy focusing on Jane, that she hadn't given much thought to what would happen after.

_Well, I am having a hard enough time just making it through the here and now. Still, I wonder if Jane wants to… be serious about this and continue after the mission is over. Maybe she is just looking for a casual fling, and since I am an asari she figured it would be convenient and easy. Maybe now that it is not so convenient and easy, she is stepping back._

It didn't take her long to get to Jane's cabin, but it was just as she and Danger had left it; a complete mess. She smiled at the memory. It had been one of the most fun times she had ever had. Somehow, the mercenary always knew what to do to make everyone around her feel better. Danger was a good friend to both of them, and Liara wished that Terriana could see what a treasure the human was. Her earlier thoughts about Jane just wanting a casual fling disappeared as she recalled the mercenary's comments that night. Danger assured her Jane was in love with her, and Liara didn't think that Danger was a liar or the kind to sugar coat things.

_She deserves someone who will hold her heart and protect it forever. She has been a good friend to both of us, and she did not have to be. Maybe when we get done with this mission, Jane and I can take her out and help her meet someone. _

Liara closed the door again, and thought about where to look next.

_I guess I should check the garages. If they both got drunk enough, they might have just ended up in the Mako. _

Liara made her way down to the Normandy garages, but neither Jane nor Danger were there. The gunnery chief wasn't either, so Liara leaned against the vehicle and thought about her next move.

_So they are not aboard the ship. Where else could they be? I guess they could have rented a room, but somehow that just does not seem like something Danger would do. I wonder if she keeps cars in the garages on the Citadel. She probably does. I imagine she would need vehicles here for when she visits or when she is escorting the matriarch to a meeting. I guess that should be my next stop._

The young scientist made her way through the ship once more, marveling at the silence, and disembarked. It was a long walk to the garages, but it was a peaceful one and she was grateful for the cool morning air. As she walked the Citadel pathways, she received friendly nods from the many asari bustling about on their business.

_They probably knew my mother. I did not even go to the service on Thessia. I wonder what they must think of me. Why did I not ask Jane to take me back there? I am sure she would have. She probably would have escorted me, and we could have visited with Danger. Maybe if I had, things would have gone differently with Danger and Terriana. Maybe we would have gone out again, like we did on the Citadel, and the matriarch would have seen the real Danger and chosen her instead of her commando. I still find it hard to believe that the matriarch is not interested in her. It just does not make sense. I wonder… if I was not already involved with Jane, would I have been taken with the mercenary?_

Liara wasn't sure. As it was, she saw Danger as a big sister, and it was actually kind of nice to have someone like her around. Liara didn't have any siblings, and she had always wondered what it would have been like to have a sister. Of course, she could see and appreciate Danger's beauty and strength, but she didn't feel that electricity like she did with Jane.

_These things are so hard to figure out. I guess it does not really matter anyway what might have been. I would not have met any of them if it was not for this mess with my mother and Saren. If Jane did not exist and this whole crazy thing was not happening, I doubt I would have ever had the opportunity to meet Danger. _

She arrived at the garages, and smiled her most charming smile at the young turian sitting behind the desk.

"Does Danger Vance store vehicles here?"

He smiled back at her and then looked at his terminal.

"Hmm. Danger Vance, yes I know that name well. Here she is. She stores two leisure class, one rover class, and one… Wow, one turbine class vehicle. I wonder when she got one of those. Are you looking for her?"

"Has she been here to look after them?"

"Nope, she hasn't been here in quite some time. She signed out a leisure class a few months ago, but no activity since. I think she has taken a permanent position guarding a high profile asari on your home world. I'm surprised you don't know about that. I mean... Well." He gestured to her, obviously meaning he assumed that all asari just naturally would have been privy to that knowledge.

_She was last here months ago? That would have been the day we all went out for drinks, I bet. _

"Thank you for your help."

"Come back anytime. We don't get much traffic down here, now that they put in the transit system. Danger is one of the few who still likes to drive herself around. She's a favorite around here; helps a lot of the guys with repairs. Give her my regards when you find her!" He gave her another smile, and then turned back to his terminal.

_Of course she's a favorite down here. She's a favorite everywhere else, why not the garages as well? So I guess they did not come down here, they are not on the ship, and they are not in the safe house. Where else could they possibly be? Where else could Jane and Danger possibly have gone on the Citadel?_

A sudden thought came to her, and she closed her eyes and wished it hadn't. There was one other place Jane might be, here on the Citadel…

_Goddess, don't let her be there…_

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Consort's chambers<strong>

The Consort.

Liara didn't particularly relish visiting the elder asari, but she really had no choice, if she wanted to find the commander. She hoped that Jane hadn't spent the night with Sha'ira, but it seemed that she was running out of places to look. She steeled herself, and then started on the long walk to the Consort's chambers.

_I should not have waited so long. What am I waiting for, anyway? Eventually my indecision is just going to drive her into the arms of another, if it has not already, and then I will lose her forever. Still, I thought I made it clear last night why I wanted her to return. Maybe she did not get the message. Should I have been more aggressive? I wish Danger had better timing. Jane would have felt the urgency, if we had not been interrupted. It is almost like the universe is determined to keep us apart, except in our dreams…_

Except in their dreams... Liara didn't understand what was happening, but she did know that every day brought her more and more strange and unexplained images of the commander, and something was urging her in her mind to take the next steps. Something in her head seemed almost desperate for her to join with Jane.

_This must be what it is like to fall in love. Every second, whether I am awake or asleep, she is on my mind, she is __**in**__ my mind. I've never felt a connection to anyone before, and it is like I can feel when she is near. _

That thought caused her to stop short. It was true. She **could** feel when Jane was near. She closed her eyes and reached out with her mind, seeking, searching, but the human was somehow out of range, or shielded. She could not feel Jane anywhere.

_There are two possibilities. She is either being shielded by the Consort, or she really is not on this space station. _

Liara continued walking with renewed purpose, and before she knew it, she stood before the Consort's offices. It wasn't a very large area on the Citadel, but it was immediately recognizable and even though Liara had never been here, she knew it right away.

_Do I really want to walk in that place? What if Jane _is _in there? Sha'ira might not even see me. I could just wait outside here, and see if Jane comes out…_

She agonized for several minutes over whether or not to enter. There seemed to be hundreds of arguments and counter arguments to sift through, but in the end, she did decide to brave the Consort's offices. Waiting outside might have been a good idea if she was sure that Jane was inside, but she didn't know for sure and if something had happened to Jane and Danger, the last thing she should be doing is standing around waiting. Even if it broke her heart, she had to know one way or the other.

Liara steeled herself, and walked up to the receptionist. She started to introduce herself, but the woman held up a hand and interrupted her.

"I know who you are, Doctor T'Soni. We have special instructions regarding you. Please, have a seat. The Consort will be with you shortly."

_Special instructions for me? Why would there be special instructions for me? Oh no, Jane _is _here. That is the only explanation… _

Liara took a seat on a nearby couch, stunned and heartbroken. She couldn't believe that Jane had actually skipped their meeting and come to see the consort instead.

_Well, actually I _can_ believe it. Instead of asking her to stay there with me, I pushed her onto Danger. I should have either gone with them, or just not suggested the outing with her friend at all and thrown myself at her. Everything is going so wrong. I am making the wrong decisions at every turn. Why is this so hard? Why did I not just send Danger away and disappear into the night with Jane?_

Liara sat there for what felt like hours before her internal agony was interrupted by the receptionist indicating she was to ascend the stairs to the Consort's chambers. Liara stood, nodded her thanks to the woman, and turned toward the staircase.

_I must control myself, no matter what happens. _

But Liara was having a hard time keeping herself under control. Her skin crackled with the beginnings of a biotic field, and her hands clenched into fists. She was angry, and jealous, and hurt, and she had never felt emotions to this extent before. She was sure that the elder asari would make quick work of her, if she attacked, but right now, Liara didn't particularly care. She was furious, and something vicious inside her was awakening at the thought of her love in the arms of another.

_She is mine, even though I have not yet claimed her. She is mine, and I will not allow you to turn her from me. _

_She is mine._

**-Citadel, Consort's private rooms**

Liara threw the door to the room open and entered, one arm outstretched and crackling with biotic power, fully expecting to see Jane lazily opening her eyes and the Consort struggling to dress. It was a ridiculous thought, of course, since the Consort would have had plenty of time to clean up while Liara waited in the lobby, but she wasn't thinking rationally right now.

"Where is Jane?" she demanded.

Sha'ira looked up from where she sat, and smiled at the young doctor.

"Liara. Child, you look more and more like her every day." She shook her head in wonder at the sight of the young asari in her battle stance, ready to smite anyone who threatened what she held dear. "You look so much like her. She would have been so proud of you…"

Liara's eyes narrowed as she scanned the room. Jane wasn't visible, but that didn't mean anything. The human could still be nearby. She could be in another room, or hiding somewhere. The young asari wasn't about to let the Consort distract her with comments about Benezia.

"She isn't here, Liara."

Liara lowered her arm, but she didn't completely dismiss the biotic powers flowing through her. The rage felt… right. She wanted to hang onto it for a while longer.

Sha'ira noticed.

"She isn't here, and we have no quarrel, Liara. Please, sit." The elder asari indicated the couch across from her, and Liara slowly moved toward it, still not dismissing her power.

"Where is she?"

"Well that I don't know. I have not seen her since our meeting the other day."

"Why was she here?"

Sha'ira stood and walked over to a window. "Liara, my visits with clients are confidential. I must keep many secrets. I cannot tell you the purpose of my meetings with the commander, but I can tell you this: She did not come here for the purpose you fear, and she was… unresponsive to my suggestions."

The Consort leaned against the wall, and looked at the agonized young asari across from her.

_She truly does look more and more like Liari every day. It's going to claim her soon, I fear, if it hasn't already. The Goddess will not be able to resist, not when she is so much like her predecessor. I wonder if Shepard fully understands what she is getting into. I wonder if she will be ready for it. I wonder if I should tell her the truth; if I should warn her… _

Liara decided that the Consort was being honest with her, though she did pick up the note of slight disappointment in the older woman's voice when she spoke of Jane's rejection. It awakened jealousy, but she told herself it was to be expected. Jane Shepard was strong, smart, with chiseled features and a regal bearing. She was surely descended from some royal line among her people. Add military prowess and power into the mix, and it makes for one irresistible human. Of course the Consort would have tried. The important thing was that Jane didn't respond, and the commander wasn't here. If she was, surely Danger would have been in one of the places Liara had already visited. Something had happened to them, and she would have to find out what.

For now, though, she thought it might be a good idea to tap the elder asari's wisdom. Something had been bothering her, and she might not get another opportunity to speak with someone so wise.

"There is something… else… I wanted to talk to you about, Sha'ira."

"Oh?" The elder asari returned to the sitting area and reclined next to Liara.

Liara thought about how to approach her questions. There were so many, but she was sure that the Consort wouldn't spend her entire day just explaining the world to a curious young asari.

"There is something strange, in my mind."

Sha'ira immediately leaned forward; intent on Liara's every word.

_It is already beginning. She has noticed you, and it is already beginning. Can it be that she has chosen for you already? It must be, and yes, Shepard is worthy. She must be worthy, for everything hangs in the balance. We cannot afford for her not to be worthy, and you not to be ready._

"Can you describe it, child?"

"Not really. I have a… connection… to Jane Shepard. I cannot explain it, but sometimes, I think I see things that she is thinking, and sometimes, when I am thinking, she is with me. It is… not clear."

_It is clear to some of us, child. You are marked, and she will claim you soon. Goddess, I hope you are ready. It was not to be you, child. You were not to be faced with this task; it was to be someone else. But she is gone now, and you are all that is left. We pray that you have the strength. We pray it will be enough. _

"Are you in love with her?"

"I… I think so yes."

Sha'ira nodded. "It is not uncommon. No doubt your mother would have explained this to you, but since you are robbed of her, I will. Jane is connected to you as well, and her mind is different than that of others of her kind. She is linked and bound to you, and I sense that the two of you will accomplish great things together. I do not know where she is now, but if she is not with you, then she must be in danger. She would not have been able to go so far away from you on her own. She would only be able to depart from you under great pain. I would suggest you start from the beginning and retrace her steps."

Liara stared into the older woman's eyes. There was no lie in them.

"Did you know my mother well?"

Sha'ira flinched, but only just. "I knew her well, yes, child. She was a good friend to me for many years, and we went through many trials together. She was a blessing to our race, and I do not wish you to allow the words of others to taint her memory. Do not spend too much time dwelling on the past. Your future is bright, and you do not want to let it pass you by…"

_Do not go down this road, Liara. There is no time for you to be seeking the past, not when the future is so uncertain. You must take the steps, and you must do it soon. We are all running out of time._

Liara closed her eyes, and then nodded once. Sha'ira was right. Benezia was gone, and Jane might be in danger. She couldn't afford to sit around here, trying to get information about things that were no longer relevant out of the Consort. She needed to get to Jane. She dismissed her biotic field, and relaxed her stance. Standing, the young asari respectfully put her hands behind her back, and smiled.

"Thank you, Sha'ira."

"Liara… This will not make any sense to you now, but I want you to know, that when you are ready to hear it, I will tell you. You are not ready now, and may not be ready for several millennia, but when you are ready, I will be here."

Sha'ira was right, Liara didn't know what she was talking about, and she didn't have a lot of time to ponder it. It was probably something to do with her mother and why she had gone rogue, but right now her mother's motivations were the last thing she wanted to worry about. She had to find Jane, and with every second that passed she grew more worried that something very bad had happened.

"I appreciate it, Sha'ira. Now, I must find Jane."

Sha'ira stood and walked Liara to the door. She embraced the young asari, and then held her at arm's length. "Yes, you are the very image of her, and you will change the world. Go now, and perhaps someday we will meet again."

The Consort watched as the young scientist departed, and she leaned against the doorframe.

_She truly is the very image of you, Liari. I can see almost nothing of Benezia in her eyes. You would have been so proud of her, so proud. I just hope she is ready. She should have had centuries to prepare for this. She should have had you to guide her. She should have had Benezia to hone her. And, she should have had me to run to when the two of you became too much to bear. Now, we all must hope that Shepard is strong enough for her to lean on, as she embraces her destiny and her gifts. I sense the Goddess is speaking in her already, trying to push her to accept her fate. She is confused, but she must do this for any of us to have any hope of survival. _

The elder asari straightened, and then stepped back into her private meeting rooms. She contacted her receptionist and cancelled the rest of her meetings for the day. Walking over to the wall that hid her secret treasures, she pressed on the concealed location to open the steel recess, and took out the small box that held her most valued belongings. Sitting back on her plush couch, she opened the box and removed a pair of bracelets that had never been worn. Engraved in one were the letters LN, and the other, BN.

_She should have shown you these before you left, Liari. If she had, maybe you would have changed your mind and stayed. Maybe things would have been the way they should have been, with you preparing young Liara for her destiny, and Benezia teaching the girl biotics. The child would have carried your name, and I may not have come here, and instead stayed with you all on Thessia to help out and watch her grow. Who can say what might have happened, if Benezia had just told you that you were not a monster, and that she would give up everything to remain in your arms forever?_

Placing the bracelets to the side, she removed a small packet of photographs, all of her and Benezia during the time they had been lovers. She gazed at them a long time, one by one, and stacked them neatly beside the thin metal bands.

_Oh Benezia, how wonderfully unhappy we were! I think even then we knew that friendship was the only possible end for our union. I loved you in my own way, and I think you loved me as well in yours, but it was never like your bond to Liari. Still, you were the closest I ever came, Benezia. Who can say what might have happened with us if Liari had stayed among the stars, instead of returning to visit with you? Who can say what might have happened, if I hadn't allowed myself those brief moments of comfort in Samara's arms after that ridiculous quarrel we had. Who can say? _

She bound the photographs once again with a leather strap, and took out the weathered parchment that held the last words of Liari N'Vara. Benezia wanted to destroy it. She wanted to burn every last one of the letters that weren't selected for the publication, to distance herself from what she had done. Sha'ira wouldn't let her burn this one, though.

_I miss you, Benezia. I miss you terribly, and I wish to the Goddess that things had turned out differently, for all of us. Liari should have never suffered the way she did. You should have gone to her. You should have come to me sooner. I should have been stronger. Athame should have intervened. So many things should have happened, and now we must pin all our hopes on one who is barely out of adolescence. It doesn't seem fair. _

Her eyes welled up with tears, and she allowed them to flow freely down her face. It had been a long time since she'd had a good cry.

_You both should be here now, to help me all deal with this. But, I am here alone. All of you left me here alone to guard the secrets, and I must be strong. I love you Benezia, and I love you as well, Liari, and I pray that your souls have found each other again, somewhere, in the great beyond. I pray, like I have never prayed before, that the one you left behind will be able to find her inner strength, and harness the powers of the demons within, the demons that were too much for the two of you to control. She has no more time, and she has no choice. _

_Liara, you are the last of the N'Vara line, and you must prevail, or we will all fall into darkness._

Sha'ira lay down against the soft pillows of the plush couch, curled herself around her treasures, and slept.


	36. Chapter 35:Games of love and war pt VII

**A\N:**

There was a comment left once regarding Joker and his rank, but sadly it was lost when this work was removed. I just want to make clear the reasons I wrote this chapter the way I did, in case anyone has a concern. Joker is a "Flight Lieutenant", which does not link back to the officers list and does not appear in that rank hierarchy on the wiki. The Flight division is probably not the same branch of military that Jane, Ash, Kaidan and the rest were part of. Joker would have never been able to get through the physical training, and so he would never be able to lead a unit. Therefore, he is effectively out of the chain of command picture, at least for the purposes of this chapter. Adams does not have a rank, and might not even be military. It's never really made clear, but there is precedent for him not being a soldier - Chakwas is also not military but is Alliance. That leaves me with Ash and Kaidan as the only two named human soldiers with a clearly stated rank. Hope that clears up why this chapter was written this way. The bottom line and point of this part was to put Ash in a situation where she was tested.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 35: Games of love and war, part VII<strong>

**-Citadel, En route to Chora's Den**

Liara T'Soni left the Consort's chambers satisfied, if not exactly happy. She was relieved that Jane hadn't spent the night in the older woman's arms, but she was no closer to knowing where the commander had gone to.

_I hope they didn't get drunk and pass out somewhere in the streets… Sha'ira said to retrace her steps… Where were they going? Chora's Den? I should start there and see if there are any clues._

She walked down the staircase to the lower wards, and stepped into the back alley entrance to Chora's Den. She mentally prepared herself for any trouble, and almost as if on instinct, her skin tingled with the electricity and power of her biotics. She wasn't particularly worried about being attacked on the Citadel, as most knew the reputation of the asari's legendary mastery of biotic talents, but you never knew when someone might step out of line after a few too many drinks. There was nothing unusual that she could see, though. The place was the same as ever, with randomly placed strippers and the all-nighters sipping their drinks.

_I don't see either of them. There is nothing going on here. Jane, where could you be? This is ridiculous…_

She turned to leave the bar, but her way was blocked by a large human male with jet black skin, who was dressed in a mismatched outfit that looked like he had pieced it together from various mercenary uniforms. He wore a bandanna wrapped across one side of his face, and a thick black beard that was almost neatly trimmed. Tattoos covered his bare arms, and the visible part of his face. He looked to be in his late seventies, and Liara tried not to think about what he might have been hiding underneath that bandanna.

"Lookin' fer something?"

"I… I am just looking for some friends of mine. I think they came in here last night."

The figure nodded. He spoke with some sort of deep accent, and Liara was reminded of some vids she had seen about pirates while on the Normandy, during her investigation into Jane's service record and more about human history. "Who might ye be lookin' fer?"

"Um, I think I had better… better go now. Thank you." She tried to go around him, but he stepped neatly back in her way.

"I think I know who ye be looking fer. Ye be looking for Darla, and I can help ye find her."

Liara was confused for a second. _Darla? What is he talking about? He must have me mixed up with someone else._

"I am sorry; I have no idea who you are talking about. I need to go now…" Liara tried to walk around him, but the big human blocked her. She closed her eyes, and her skin crackled with the beginnings of a biotic field. It felt better than ever, and she wasn't sure why. She opened her eyes, and looked up at him, something feral nipping at the edges of her mind. She actually hoped he would give her a reason to…

"Tere be no need for dat, missy. I know who ye be here lookin fer. I seen ye with 'em."

"What are you talking about? You need to start making sense. I do not have time for this." Liara raised her right arm and dropped back in the fighting stance her mother had taught her, prepared to move the human forcibly if he didn't get out of her way.

"Ye be lookin for Darla Vance and her little pal, and I knows where tey be."

Liara slowly lowered her hands. _Darla? Yes, Jane has called her that a few times. Of course, it must be her given name. Danger is just a nickname. You need to pay attention, Liara. _

"How did you know? Did you see Danger? Where is Jane? Who are you?"

"Dis is not te place to be havin dis conversation. Once upon a time, Darla had herself a safe house here. dat's where we need ta be."

"I am not going to take you to Danger's safe house…"

"Ye don't have ta. _Danger_ has grown sloppy, she has. I followed her to it just te other night. Dis way, it is. And don't ye worry yer pretty head none, I'm a friend." He grinned at her, his large beard splitting to reveal teeth were surprisingly well tended to. Liara was slightly shocked, but she didn't have a lot of time to ponder the revelation as the man immediately headed off in the direction of Danger's safe house. If Liara wanted answers, she was going to have to follow him.

_What is going on? Who is this human and how does he know Danger? Is Jane with her? Did he see them leave together? None of this makes sense._

He led her straight up to the door to the safe house, and nodded. "Dis be it, and ye know I'm right. Open it up and we'll talk inside."

Liara opened the door with the passkey Danger had made for her, but kept her mind focused in case she needed to defend herself. "There. Go ahead," she said to him, indicating he should go in first.

The man entered the room, and immediately took a seat at the table. "Sit. We need ta talk, we do."

Liara took a seat across from him and folded her hands on the table. "Who are you?"

"Te name's Tattoo Jack. I've known Danger since she was still Darla. I knew little Jane, too."

"So you… You were in the gangs with them?"

He shook his head. "Na, Darla ran her own crew. Even then, she was a pain in te ass, always being a hero. A lot o' us didn't like her much, she had dis soft spot see, and she was always running around, trying ta save te little ones. No we didn't like her, but we respected her. None of us fucked with te Vance Family." He waved a hand dismissively. "It doesn't matter now anyway, because all of us left dat life far behind. I'm still running a crew, but we don't do te things we used ta. We've found much more… valuable… commodities ta trade in"

"What does any of this have to do with Danger and Jane last night?" Liara didn't think he was going to attack her at this point and slightly relaxed, but she still didn't trust him, and the biotic itch along her skin felt exquisite. She didn't mind allowing it to caress her.

"Did Darla ever tell ye about te work she used ta do?"

"Well, I know she did some sort of rescue work."

"You could call it dat. Well, that kind o' work can make a man a lot o' enemies. Or woman, in her case."

Liara shook her head, slightly confused.

"Darla has many such enemies, and one o' em has come fer her. She's gotten sloppy, she has. In te old days, I would have never been able ta tail her ta dis location, and in te old days she woulda been aware of a hired asari commando unit just next ta her waiting fer her ta pass out. She's not te same as she used ta be, and he took advantage of dat, he did."

"Who? You aren't making any sense."

"I'm going ta teach ye something dat you will do well ta remember for te rest of yer days. Information is power, missy. Whoever has it controls te world. I have a lot of information, and all of it has value. Dis, however," he held up a finger, "Dis is on ta house. I owe Darla."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jacob Red."

Liara tried to place where she had heard that name before. _Jacob Red… I know someone mentioned it but... who? When?_

"I… I have heard the name before…Who is he?"

"He was a mistake, he was. He is scum o' te earth, and even the crews I used to run wit wouldn't touch 'im. Darla did a job a few years back, and she hit 'im hard. He had kidnapped some children, and she got 'em out, and blew his carrier to te four corners of te universe. He escaped though, he did, and he's come fer her now. Yer other friend is just caught in te crossfire."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I be telling ye this, because Darla did dat job… fer me. Red had me son, and Darla was te only one what could get 'im out. I owe her a debt, I do. We were nev on te same side of te line, but when I came and asked fer her help, she did it, no questions asked. Red has 'imself a new ship now. A freight carrier called Pitony III. Where he's gone, I don't know fer sure, but dat should be enough te get ye started. I would look in the Omega sector, if I was ye."

Liara stared at the man and tried to determine whether or not he was lying. He was impossible to read.

"How do I know you are telling the truth?"

"Ye don't, missy. But, ye should at least look into it. I know Red's got her, and I can't go after her meself."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't have access te equipment like ye do. I'm not young, like ye are. I know who little Janie grew up te be, and I knows ye can get her friends to bail dem out. I can't sneak up on 'im, not like ye can, missy. And now, I'll take me leave of ye. If ye ever need any information, ye just come seek out old Tattoo Jack."

He tossed a small holostick on the table.

"Me card. Any friend o' Darla's, is a friend o' mine."

The man stood, nodded at her, and walked out the door, leaving a very confused Liara staring into nothingness.

_That… That did not just happen. What am I supposed to do now? I think… I think I need to find Chief Williams. _

Liara grabbed the holostick and stowed it in a pocket, pushed herself away from the table, and rushed out the door to find Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. This situation was rapidly turning from bad to worse, and if anyone would know what to do, it would be the rock steady gunnery chief.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Garages<strong>

"Are you sure that's all he said?" Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams stared at the asari incredulously. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Somehow her commanding officer had gotten kidnapped, along with her idiot friend, and now they were AWOL somewhere in the galaxy.

Liara looked around at the group. The standard squad was all present, Tali, Garrus, Kaidan, Wrex, and Williams, and they all looked just as worried about the commander as she felt. "That is everything. He said that Jacob Red came back for her, and he has a new ship. He suggested we look near Omega."

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams leaned against the Mako, and jumped back up again as the car delivered a shock through her body. "What the hell was that all about?" She opened the door to the vehicle, and DIDI came to life.

"Thank you, Chief Williams. It is rude to have a meeting and not invite me."

"Are you serious?"

"I am always serious, Chief Williams. Please continue."

"This car is ridiculous. So anyway, how did this Jacob Red character know Danger was here?"

"That… That might be my fault, Chief." Kaidan Alenko stood there looking a little sheepish. "When I found out who she was, I sent a message back home. I mean, she's kind of a hero to our family and I didn't think it would do any harm to brag about getting to hang out with her."

"Well, I guess we have our answer to that question. Good news travels fast. But the bigger question is how the hell are we going to get the commander back without the Alliance getting involved? This could jeopardize her Spectre status and who knows what else."

"We have to go after her, Chief Williams," Liara pleaded.

"I know, T'Soni, just calm down. We are going to get the commander back. The problem is Pressly. He's in charge when Shepard is ashore, not me. If we tell him, he might go straight to Anderson. We need to somehow… Get him off the ship. He'll have to leave Kaidan in charge and we can go after the commander. What do we know about him?"

She looked around at the squad as they all blankly shook their heads.

"He doesn't like aliens," Tali commented.

"Well, I guess we can't use Liara to seduce him then," Williams noted.

"I do not really think that would work out anyway, Chief. He seems… disinterested."

"Not sure what you mean, T'Soni."

"I am not sure either, but all the races have auras that shift and change as they come into contact with various other forms of life. His does not shift when I approach him, nor does it seem to shift when you or the commander do."

Chief Williams looked at Liara intently. "T'soni, are you saying that he is…"

"That I do not know, Chief Williams. I just know that he is unresponsive to the women I have witnessed him interact with."

The chief leaned back up against the Mako, which thankfully did not shock her again, and thought about it.

_So, he is unresponsive to the females she has observed. Did she not pay attention to the males or does he just avoid them? Is everyone on this fucking ship gay but me? _

Chief Williams giggled out loud at her thoughts, and the rest of the squad looked at her quizzically.

"I have an idea." She turned to Kaidan.

"Oh no, I don't think so. Don't even think about it, Chief!"

"LT, why not? You are the only one who would have a chance. You're young, you're hot, and it would only be for a few hours while we track down the commander. Speaking of which, Tali, can you see if you can track that ship? Find out where it headed, what class freighter it is, and any other information you can about it."

"Right, I will take care of that." The quarian got inside the Mako and shut the door, so she and the AI could work.

"Come on Ash, you can't seriously think that would work… Wait a minute, you think I'm hot?"

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams raised her eyebrows and thought about it for a few seconds. "I… Yea well I guess I do, LT. That's not important right now. We need to get the commander back and we need to get Pressly off the ship to do it. Do it for the commander, LT."

Kaidan nodded. "Yea, I'll do it for the commander. But, maybe we should talk later on. I mean, my masculinity is going to be severely compromised and I'll need some counseling to get through that."

"You're going to ask me out, just like that, in front of everyone, LT? Really?"

_Has everyone on this ship gotten the fever? This is starting to feel like a soap opera. As the Normandy Flies…_

"I… well… yea you're right Chief. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, LT. Let's just focus on getting the commander back, and we can deal with our personal issues later." She smiled what she hoped was a reassuring smile at him. She didn't want to hurt him. He actually _was_ kind of cute and maybe it was time for her to move on.

Just then, Tali opened the Mako's door. "We have tracked the ship and your source was correct, Liara. They are just outside of Omega. I have the schematics of the vessel here. Garrus, come help me look at these."

The tall turian went around to the driver's side door and got in the car to help Tali and DIDI.

_As the Normandy Flies, and now there's a party in the Mako, right here in the garages. Lovely_._ I am going to need a really long leave of absence after this mission… This shit is way above my pay grade.  
><em>

"All right, well now all that's left is getting Pressly off the ship. If you're getting him out of here, he'll probably leave me in charge, and we can hit a relay and be out in Omega within the hour. Are you up to this, Kaidan?"

Lt. Alenko smiled at her, pleased she switched to his first name. "You bet I am, Ash. I'll keep Pressly busy; you just get the commander back. How will I know when you guys make it back here?"

"Take Pressly to the Flux. I'll come out there and join you when we get back. Maybe I'll even play the 'jealous girlfriend' to get you off the hook with him." Chief Williams winked at the Lieutenant, and Alenko smiled wide.

"All right, let me go see if I can get him out of here. I could use a drink anyway; my head is starting to act up again." He turned and left the garages, Liara and Ashley following closely behind.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Command Deck<strong>

Williams and Liara entered the Command deck first, and the chief pretended to be interested in showing Liara some things on a star chart. Kaidan adjusted his uniform shirt, and straightened his belt before slowly striding over to Navigator Pressly.

"Hey," he said.

The older man looked at Kaidan, who was now leisurely leaning against the console, arms crossed, showing off his musculature.

"Can I help you, Lieutenant?"

"Maybe. I was just thinking, you haven't been off the ship in a really long time, right?"

"I fail to see what business of yours that is, Lieutenant."

Kaidan stretched his arms above his head, allowing the muscle in his chest and arms to lightly ripple, and he turned to the side and leaned against the console again, curling his right arm and showing off his biceps. "Well, I haven't been off the ship either, and I thought that we could go get a drink at the Flux and stretch our legs a bit."

The navigator narrowed his eyes and considered for a few moments. It was true that he seemed to always be aboard the ship, since he was the executive officer and the commander spent most of her time ashore. He was a little suspicious of the Lieutenant's behavior, but it would be nice to get away from this console for a few hours and enjoy the company of the young man. At least, it wouldn't kill him to step away for a few hours. They seemed to be taking a long reprieve from the mission and the commander could contact him through her earbud if she needed him. Ashley Williams was more than capable of handling a docked ship, and he knew that Shepard seemed to lean on the Chief more than the Lieutenant anyway despite her low rank. She wouldn't be upset at him leaving Williams in charge and taking a break.

Slowly, he nodded. "All right, Lieutenant. I need to finish entering this log note, but I will meet you outside."

Kaidan grinned, and gave Ashley the thumbs up behind his back, before strutting out the door and onto the Citadel. After a few moments, Navigator Pressly shut off his console and turned to follow, saying over his shoulder, "Gunnery Chief, you have the bridge."

Liara looked at Ashley and the two of them nearly ran to the cockpit where Joker was seated.

"Wow, did you just see that, Chief?" he commented. "That can't be what I think it was…"

Liara and Ashley looked out the window at the two men now walking together to the Flux, and waited until they were out of sight.

"I think he's done that before, T'Soni."

"Actually, I think that little show was more for you, Chief Williams. His aura shifted heavily when you commented on his appearance." The asari gave the human a knowing smile, and Ashley nodded.

"I'll address that later with him, T'Soni, but thank you for the observation. Joker, we have a really bad situation, and we need to deal with it now, without Alliance interference. The commander got caught in the crossfire of some old feud between Danger and some pirate, and we need to get to Omega, like now. Tali should have uploaded the location to your console. We need to come in quick and quiet."

"Shit, you got it Chief. I'll bring us out so quiet they will never even know we left. Hold on, we're getting out of here!"

"Good." She gripped his shoulder gently, and turned to Liara. "Ok T'Soni, it's time to go get Jane. Meet me in the garages in twenty minutes, and be suited up. You, me, and Tali are going in."

Liara nodded, turned, and ran back to her quarters to get her equipment. The Gunnery Chief took one last look at the docking doors where Kaidan had disappeared, and smiled.

_Yes, maybe it __**is**__ time to let it go. I could do worse, after all. And, any man that's willing to play gay to save his commanding officer must have one hell of a heart._

She gave Joker one last squeeze, and headed to the lockers to get geared up.


	37. Chapter 36:Games of love and war pt VIII

**Chapter 36: Games of love and war, part VIII**

**-Heavens, Halls of Obsidian**

_"I don't believe this is happening._"

_The powerful demon-god was pacing back and forth through her halls, furious at the turn of events. This was not how this was supposed to happen. The mechanic was supposed to be captured and dragged off to some remote corner of the galaxy, leaving Palladium's Champion free to be directed back toward Thessia. She was NOT supposed to have been captured as well, and she was NOT supposed to now be in danger of death, or worse. _

_"I blame you for this as well, you know," she said, looking to her Well of Souls and glaring at one in particular, who previously inhabited the body of a quiet poet. "Don't think I haven't noticed your whisperings in her mind. You should not be meddling in these affairs, even if she is your daughter. You just sit there and quietly contemplate your life until I put you back into a body, thank you very much."_

_The soul didn't respond, and instead buried itself among the others who were waiting for their contemplation period to be over, clearly disinterested in the demon-god's comments. Athame absently sent a stream of violet electricity across the room, arcing through the courtyard and splitting the Sea of Ages. _

_"This is ridiculous. All of this meddling has caused me more grief in the past few months than I have suffered in the last few millenia. I cannot let any harm come to his Champion, or I will have yet another war on my hands."_

_She shuddered at the thought. The last time she and Palladium had fought, it was during the emergence of the Protheans nearly one hundred thousand years prior. One of her souls had 'accidentally' absorbed one of his during their development, a creature he was prepping for the Silver Hand. The two of them shook the heavens with violet and platinum streaks of lightning back and forth between their lairs for seven thousand years, while the rest of the Pantheon went into hiding. They didn't speak again until the machine-gods returned, and only then it was because they were given no choice. _

_"It was a foolish quarrel, anyway. Perhaps if we had been a little more mature about the whole thing, we wouldn't be facing the machine-gods yet again. Perhaps we would have been doing what we are now, and we could have saved them..."  
><em>

_She stopped walking and looked around her halls. All was deathly silent, her children all in hiding. No doubt they sensed her mood, and did not wish to invoke her wrath. She was alone with her thoughts. _

_"I cannot let this happen a second time."  
><em>

_Enough time had passed that she and Palladium had become friends once more, but all that was in jeopardy now that his Champion was caught up in her little scheme. If that child died in this debacle, he might never forgive her, and they will have lost what small chance they had to win against the machine-gods this time around. They wouldn't have time to cycle the soul into another vessel, and there wasn't enough time to put a new one through his trials. None of his other souls were ready, and none of hers could pass his tests. They couldn't count on the other gods for help either. None of them were as ancient, or as powerful, as her and Palladium. _

_"It looks like I might have to directly intervene this time. Maybe I will get lucky and no one will notice."_

_She closed her eyes and crossed all six of her arms, picturing her destination in her mind and disappearing into the night. _

* * *

><p><strong>-Pitony III, Infiltration point<strong>

"According to this map, our best chance to get in undetected is at this point." Tali indicated an area on her Omni-tool. "If we drop on the starboard side, and then make our way to this hatch, we should come through in the compactor room."

"Perfect, Tali. Are we all geared up?"

"All set, Chief Williams." Liara hefted her small pistol, and adjusted her amp. Her skin glowed blue with her biotics, and Williams knew that the asari would go to the ends of the earth to save Jane. She was ready.

"What about you Tali?"

"I am all set, Chief Williams." The quarian closed her Omni-tool and grasped her own pistol.

Ashley nodded, hefted her assault rifle, and tapped the side of her helmet. "All ready down here, Joker. Bring us in nice and quiet."

"You got it, Chief." The skilled pilot engaged the stealth devices, and brought them in just above the freight carrier. "Perfect drop point, as usual. It's all yours."

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams nodded, and hit the switch that would drop them onto the pirate ship's hull. She and Liara followed Tali as the quarian led them to a nearby hatch, and set to work on the encryption.

"How long?" Williams asked.

"Five minutes, no more," Tali replied.

"Keep your eyes open, T'Soni."

Liara nodded, and stood in front of them, ready to call upon her biotic powers. This time, she didn't feel scared or nervous as she had so many times before. She couldn't explain it, but ever since she had gone to see the Consort and had felt the anger and hurt that consumed her as she thought Jane was with another, she was somehow more in control of her powers. Somehow, she owned them now; she wasn't just borrowing them and using them every now and again. Now, she could command them and it felt really, really good.

"Come on, you little bosh'tet! Oh, this is ridiculous. Where is Danger when you need her?" Tali poked at her Omni-tool a few times, and then poked back at the encryption on the wall.

"She's on this ship, waiting to be rescued, Tali. Get that door hacked!"

"Ugh… I'm trying Chief. Just a few more seconds… There we go, that's better. Got it." Tali stepped back as the airlock opened, and Chief Williams jumped in first.

"Clear. Get in here ladies, we don't have all night."

Liara and Tali followed her into the airlock and the three exited the small room and crept along the hallway. "Ok, Tali, any idea where they are?"

"Not really, Chief. There are two bays used to transport cargo, one at the bow and one at the stern. It's impossible to say which one they are in."

"Damn, well we will have to check them both then. Keep moving."

The three crept along the hallway, watching for any patrols. Tali pointed to a door on their left, and Williams looked through the small window near the top. She shook her head, and the quarian took the lead, heading down an adjacent walkway.

"Keep it tight, ladies." The chief ordered, as she fell back and brought up the rear.

"These should be the two main cargo holding areas on this end of the ship." Tali indicated twin doors, on either side of the hallway.

"There are no guards outside, so I'm guessing this isn't the place." Ashley looked in the port windows anyway, but as she suspected, there was nothing in the rooms but some cargo crates. There was no sign of the commander or the mercenary.

"Where now, Tali?"

"Back this way." The quarian started walking again, and led them back the way they had come, looking at her Omni-tool. "They must be in the cells on the other side of the ship."

"All right, keep it quiet and keep it tight."

The three made their way back through the walkways without incident, but Williams reached across Liara and grabbed the quarian's arm before she could round the next corner. The hairs on the back of the gunnery chief's neck were standing up and she sensed a threat just ahead.

"Get back, get back," she whispered as loud as she dared, before grabbing her team and dragging them into the waste disposal room they had entered from. They took cover behind some crates at the back, and Ashley cursed under her breath.

"Well, so much for the stealthy approach," she commented as the patrol she spotted came into the room firing. "Return fire!"

The three leveled their weapons and started shooting back at the four guards, but after a few rounds Ashley looked at her assault rifle in horror. Her aim was perfect, but the rounds weren't doing any damage to her targets. From somewhere in the past, a voice cut through her fear…

_A properly maintained weapon is the difference between life and death, Ashley. No matter what else you do when you are on a mission, always keep your equipment maintained…_

"Who loaded these weapons?"

"Um, Garrus did, Chief." Tali was looking at her own quizzically. "Garrus and I got new rounds at the Citadel and he loaded them especially for this mission. The merchant we bought them from had just gotten them in, and they come highly recommended."

"You have to be kidding me. These rounds are duds. Shit! This can't be happening. T'Soni – get a shield up! Now!"

Liara threw her pistol down, and channeled her biotics into a shield in front of them. She looked down at her hands, a little surprised at the power. It felt different than before, somehow it was being... enhanced. Something was lending her strength...

"How many of them can you take out before needing to rest?"

"Not enough, Chief Williams. I can hold the shield for some time, but I will not be able to take them down unless we find some weapons."

The gunnery chief looked around the room. There wasn't much in there other than random garbage, and there was only one exit, not counting the exit into deep space. They seemed to be reasonably safe at the moment, as the patrol wasn't advancing, but she could see one of them radioing for backup and alerting the rest of the crew there were intruders. It was only a matter of time before they realized the weapons were duds and the only thing that stood between them and victory was a single asari biotic.

"There is only one way out. We're stuck here until either a miracle happens, or T'Soni gets too tired to hold up the field."

"Actually Chief, there may be another way out. Help me with this."

Tali had grabbed hold of a mesh covering on the wall and was trying to pull it off, but she couldn't get a good enough grip on it to get it loose. Chief Williams turned around, slid her human fingers easily through the mesh, and pulled the grating out of its fasteners.

"There's no way we will fit through there, Tali."

"I can fit in there. I will go look for some weapons or help and come back. Maybe I can come up behind them and surprise them, then you and Liara can overpower them."

"Are you sure? How are you going to get through it?"

"Trust me, I can get through it." Tali pressed some buttons on her suit, and squeezed herself through the opening. "I will be back soon."

"Damn, that's… that's kind of gross," Williams commented, as she watched the quarian contort and bend her limbs in what seemed to be impossible angles. "How are you holding up, T'Soni?"

"You know, you _can_ call me Liara. I am stable for now. I cannot explain it, but it feels like something is helping me keep this field up. I hope she hurries, though. There is no way for me to know for sure how long this will last. You should keep firing at them. Maybe they will just think you are a lousy shot."

The gunnery chief smiled at the asari. "You've been hanging around the commander and her friend too much. You're starting to pick up their sense of humor." She leveled her assault rifle over the crate and started returning fire, hoping beyond hope that Tali could find something useful in time.

* * *

><p><strong>-Pitony III, Ventilation system<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard looked to her left, and then her right as she sat in the center of the first intersection. There were no identifying markers in the ventilation ducts, and it would be easy to get lost in them. There were six ducts in all intersecting here, and she didn't have a compass with her to keep her facing the right direction.

_How can I make a mark so I know where I have been? I could be lost in the bowels of this ridiculous ship forever… And who knows what could be happening to Danger while I'm trying to find my way._

She scratched at the back of her neck, and her hand slipped on something greasy.

_Oh wow, I forgot about that. Danger, remind me to throw you a massive party and buy you a fleet of asari strippers when we get out of here._

She took the greasy pouch out of her pocket, squeezed some of the liquid onto her hand, and drew a big X on the wall of the shaft she had come through.

_There. X marks the spot where Danger is. Now I can move on. _

She put the pouch back in her pocket, and chose a shaft on her right. She crawled along it, listening for any passing patrols beneath or above her, but heard nothing. Eventually she got to the end of the tunnel, and she peered through the mesh at what looked like some sort of communications room. She didn't see any weaponry though, and so she twisted and turned herself around.

_Nothing in there. Let's try left. _

She took out the pouch again and marked the shaft she had just exited with a big N, and continued across the main line. This tunnel was a lot smaller and longer, and curved a little ways downward as she crawled. It stayed the same width throughout though, and Jane easily slipped through to the end. She stared through the mesh, and a smile crept across her face. She had hit the jackpot. There was an array of weaponry lying across a counter, and only one guard, sitting with his back to her, doing something on a terminal.

She wasn't going to be able to turn around in this shaft, so she backed out to the main intersection again. Sliding herself along feet first, she moved as quickly as she could back to the end of the duct, doing her best to not make any noise. She wouldn't be able to see whether the guard was ready for her, so she said a small prayer to any god or goddess listening that the man was still focused on his terminal.

She reached the end of the line, and bent her knees against the mesh. Pushing her hands against the top of the duct for leverage, she gave one mighty kick and the screws snapped, the mesh covering falling to the floor. The guard whipped around, but Jane had already vaulted herself out of the ventilation system, grabbed his head on either side, and twisted hard. The guard's limp body fell to the floor.

_I'm sorry, but there was no other way. _

And Jane _was_ sorry, but she couldn't spend too much time dwelling on it. She grabbed the guard's uniform jacket from the back of the chair and tossed it open on the floor. She picked out three assault rifles, four pistols and a variety of rounds and tossed them all into the jacket. She folded it up and tied it off with a cord she found lying near the weaponry, most likely used in some sort of cleaning, and looked at the door.

_Doesn't sound like anyone noticed my little entrance. Should I try to make my way through the halls? Hmm… No I better just get back to Danger. We can fight our way back out together. _

She grabbed the chair the guard had been sitting on and moved it over to the air duct. She tossed her bundle into the shaft as far as it would go, and then tried to pull herself up.

_Damn this grease. Where is that tall idiot when you need her? Forget the strippers, Danger. You're not getting a damn thing. _

She looked around for anything that would help her get high enough to enter the duct, but there wasn't much in the room. Just some chairs, a console, and the table-like structure the weapons were on.

_The table… I wonder if that thing is nailed down. Well, one way to find out._

Jane got down off the chair and walked to the large slab. She kicked at it once, just out of frustration, before putting her back to it and pushing with her legs. The table _was_ nailed down, and she was going to need a lot of leverage to move it.

_Damn it. Why did that idiot have to grow to be such a freakish giant? All these are jobs that I need her for and she couldn't fit through the damn shaft. That's it Danger, no party for you either, now. No strippers and no party. Fuck it. I'm just going to kick your blonde ass instead. What the fuck is wrong with you anyway, getting me caught in the middle of your stupid feuds?  
><em>

Jane closed her eyes and reached for the platinum. She focused on punching Danger's lights out as she pushed against the table, filling the room with crystalline shards and the sound of grinding metals. She pushed, and pushed, and slowly, surely, the bolts connecting it to the floor started to creak.

_Come on... Let it go... Just let it go... _

"Ugh, will you just break already? Stupid table. Even inanimate objects are out to ruin my night."

She tensed her muscles and gave one last mighty heave, hearing the bolts snap. The table fell noisily to the ground, and Jane cursed under her breath.

_That's going to get some attention... I need to get out of here.  
><em>

She picked the table back up and moved it underneath the entrance to the duct. Then she grabbed a chair and put it on top of the table, and this time she was able to hoist herself into the chute and shimmy through, despite the grease. She closed her eyes, and let go of the lightning.

_This is a nightmare. I don't understand how she can spend half her life crawling through these things. Well, no matter, I need to get these weapons back to Danger. _

Jane grabbed the bundle and started crawling back through the shaft, silently fuming at Danger's inability to help with the scavenging and the ridiculous grease everywhere and her perfect night with Liara being ruined.

"This is the stupidest thing yet to happen to me. I finally get everything just in my grasp, and there's always something stupid to happen to me, and ninety nine percent of the time, Darla is involved. What a pain in my ass. No wonder that matriarch got a commando. If Danger gets her into half as many scrapes as she gets me into, it's no wonder she got herself a new… whoa… What the hell?"

"COMMANDER!" Tali fairly threw herself at the human, as best she could in a ventilation shaft, anyway. "Where is Danger? Are you ok? It's so good to see you!"

"Tali, is that you?"

"Yes Commander! Keelah, you are alive! You are alive!"

"Tali! What are you doing here?" _I must be hallucinating. What the hell did they drug us with, anyway?_

"We're rescuing you, of course. Where is Danger?"

"She couldn't fit up here. I came through looking for weapons." She gestured to the bundle. "Is anyone else here?"

"Yes, yes, Chief Williams and Liara are here, but they are in trouble. All of our weapons have failed. Something about getting bad ammo, I don't really know."

"Ok, I will go to them. Which way leads to them?"

"That shaft," Tali pointed to one directly behind her. "I came from there."

"Here, take two of these pistols." Jane reached into the bundle and took out two of the small weapons. "Go to Danger and stay with her until we get there. Do you understand? Do _not_ let her talk you into doing anything crazy. You just _stay put._"

Tali nodded emphatically and accepted the weapons. "Yes, yes, I understand. Where is she?"

"Look for the greasy X. It's one of those shafts." Jane pointed to the right. "It's good to see you Tali. I'll catch up with you and Danger as soon as I get Ash and Liara."

Jane squeezed the quarian's shoulder, bent down slightly to tie the bundle to her leg, and then headed in the direction Tali had indicated. Tali watched her leave, and then fastened the pistols to her environment suit.

"I'm coming, Danger. Hold on."

The quarian pushed a few more buttons on her suit and returned her limbs back to their normal state before continuing her crawl towards the tunnel Jane had pointed to. Finding the one with the X easily, she slid along the now greasy metal, and slowly lowered her head into the room to see what was happening.

* * *

><p><strong>-Pitony III, Infiltration point<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard propelled herself through the air duct and nearly knocked over the gunnery chief. She immediately pulled her shirt out of the back of her pants and threw it on.

"Report, soldier."

"We're defending, Commander. All weapons are offline. Somehow we managed to get sold duds; none of the thermal clips are working."

Jane nodded. This must have been Danger's plan – the supposed upgrades sold to Tali and Garrus were actually preparation for the war game. It was too bad this wasn't a game. She bent down and untied a thin rope from her ankle, and then yanked on it. The bundle of weapons followed her through the opening, and settled at her feet.

"Take your pick, Chief," the commander said as she untied the jacket and exposed the weaponry she'd collected.

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams looked down at the pile of weapons, and thought she had never seen a more beautiful sight in her life. "Jane, I love you." She picked up an assault rifle and hefted it. "This'll do."

Jane grinned at her friend and picked up a rifle herself. "Let's kick some ass, Gunny."

"You got it, Skipper!"

They turned to the patrol and something in their faces must have scared the men. They stopped firing, and one of them tried to turn around and run, but was stopped by his comrades. Almost as if they had choreographed the scene beforehand, Jane and Ashley simultaneously started shooting the small squad, and the men immediately fell to the focus fire.

"Hell yea, Gunny, that's what I'm talking about!" Jane hi-fived her officer and grinned at Liara. The asari dropped her biotic field and threw herself into the commander's arms.

"Jane, don't ever go that far away from me again," she whispered. The room seemed to darken and the air grew thick for a few moments, and then dissipated once again.

"Hey, hey it's ok. I'm here. I didn't want to go, believe me. And we need to get back and collect Danger before something happens to her. That Jacob Red character has it bad for her."

Liara pulled out of the embrace and nodded. She knelt down and selected a pistol from the weapons cache, called upon the power of her biotics, and signaled her readiness.

"Commander, where is Tali?"

"I sent her through to Danger's cell. She should be there by now. We are going to have to cut our way through the rest of the crew, but I don't think that's going to be much of a problem now, do you Gunny?"

"Hell no, Skipper. I'm in the ass kicking mood tonight!"

Commander Jane Shepard grinned, and led them out of the room, heading for the aft of the ship. They made short work of the patrols, and Jane was more than a little impressed with Liara's sudden mastery of her biotic talents. She used the force of her will to lift the patrols into the air, where Jane and Ash could make quick work of them with their guns.

_I don't even have to channel the platinum. She's... amazing..._

"Hey Liara, when did you get so good at that?" she asked.

"I do not know, Jane. Something just feels… right… now I guess. I am more confident." She gestured lightly with her right hand and another guard went sailing gracefully through the air, hitting the wall with a resounding thud.

Jane nodded and glanced at Williams.

_I'll bet she learned that from her time working with the chief. Damn am I glad we got Ash reassigned to the Normandy. She is truly one of the best soldiers I have ever known. I need to put in a full length report about her abilities. She is nearly ready for her own command. _

"Well it's damn impressive. I still can't believe you guys are even here."

"It wasn't easy, Commander, but who would keep us in line if we just left you out here to rot?"

"Ash, I told you once that you were an excellent soldier and a good friend, and I meant it. You are the best I've ever had the pleasure to serve with."

The gunnery chief beamed at the compliment, but she didn't have time to respond because just then Commander Shepard threw out a protective arm, unconsciously channeling a translucent silver barrier, to stop the team behind her as they watched what looked like a pitch black electrical torpedo shoot through the wall in front of them.

"Did you see that, Ash?"

"I saw it Jane. What the hell was it?"

"No idea… Liara?"

"It was… It could not possibly be… That is something that has not been seen in millennia… It is just… not possible…"

* * *

><p><strong>-Pitony III, Empty spaces<strong>

_"Yes, that's it, my child. You aren't supposed to be here, but perhaps it's just as well. I wouldn't be able to help the others like I can help you. Accept the power and let it maintain your barrier. His Champion is on the way. She will get you both out of here, and safely back onto your own ship. I will have to come up with some other plan to get rid of the mechanic_."

_She hovered over the small team and channeled a portion of her strength into the last of her demon line. The child showed remarkable resilience, and she was more than a little impressed. Maintaining the barrier was almost effortless, and she could feel the child accepting who she was and who she must become. Perhaps this wouldn't be so hard, after all. She may still be young, but she was the offspring of the most powerful and ancient of Athame's creations. She would have the feral instinct and strength of her demonic heritage tempered by the iron will of her mother's mental prowess. She was a magnificent creature, and soon, the demon-god would select a mate for her. _

_Athame ceased her channeling as she watched Palladium's Champion vault through the ventilation shaft and take her place alongside her soldier comrade. _

_"He is right. You are strong and powerful, and it is not surprising that you have finished his trials already. You are everything I could have wanted for my eldest. Now I just need to get you away from this child and into the arms of the one you are meant for..." _

_Her thoughts were cut short as the young asari threw herself into the human's embrace. Athame's wrath filled the room and darkened it, and she nearly lost control of her fury. She raised a hand to force violet lightning between them, but just as she grasped for the electricity, she felt something nip weakly at her Eternal Well of Souls. _

_She looked down at her child, but the girl wasn't channeling biotics. She was just holding onto Palladium's Champion, seemingly oblivious to all that was going on around them. None of the others on this ship exhibited any biotic talents... None of the others... save one. _

_She turned quickly and just as suddenly as the light in the room had darkened with her anger, it was gone again, along with the demon-god.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>-Pitony III, Prisoner Holding Cell<strong>

Danger returned to the chair she had previously been chained to, and tried to make the shackles look like they were still restraining her. She was tall enough that anyone casually looking in probably wouldn't notice Jane was gone, but she was worried that if someone took too much of an interest, they would notice something amiss with the restraints and come inside to investigate.

She prayed to any god or goddess that might have been listening that Jane would find her way through the ventilation system to an armory room and come back with lots and lots of firepower. The whole situation seemed hopeless, and Danger wasn't used to being in hopeless situations, without weapons, without armor, and without biotics. What was worse was that she got Jane mixed up in it, when the commander had a massively important mission to deal with. Jane didn't need to be breaking out of slaver ships with Danger, not now.

_This should have never happened. Before Terriana, this never __**would**__ have happened. I would have been alert and ready for anything. Red was right. I would have never made a novice mistake like that and gotten us captured. That asari is the worst thing that ever happened to me._

Jane had only been gone for a few minutes, but to the mercenary, it felt like hours. Her hand was throbbing, and she had a headache from the poison. It was shaping up to be a really lousy day, and it was about to get worse. She heard the sound she had been dreading since she managed to pick the locks on her shackles. The door was opening, and someone was slipping inside, or rather, trying to slip inside. The man was too large and brutish to really be able to quietly slip anywhere, and Danger inwardly groaned.

_This is going to get really ugly, really fast._

"Well, look at what we have here," he said, as he shut the door behind him. "All chained up and nowhere to go."

"Yea well, I'm a bit of a homebody anyway."

"Oh, and you're funny to boot. I like that." He walked over to her, and noticed that she was alone. "I thought there were two prisoners in here?"

Danger did her best to look innocent. "It's just me."

He grinned. "Good. We have some privacy, then."

Danger closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. She was strong, and she was fast, but this man had at least a hundred pounds and six inches on her. It was going to take a miracle to get out of this one, and she prayed that Jane hurried with those weapons.

"You'll regret this, I promise you that."

"Maybe I will, and maybe I won't. For now, I think I'll just collect the payment Jake promised me and worry about it later." He reached out, intending to grope her a bit, and she brought her knee up into his jaw. In a flash, she spun out of the seat and dropped back into what she hoped looked like a fighting stance.

"Oh, a feisty one I see." He rubbed his jaw and grinned at her. "I like the fighters. Go ahead. Make me take it from you." He rushed her and grabbed her around the neck, forcing her against the wall.

Danger tried to get out of his chokehold, but he was too big and too strong.

"Yea, that's it," she could feel his beard grating against the soft skin of her cheek. "Fight me, I like the struggle." He started biting on her neck, and used his free hand to loosen her clothes.

_Damn it, this can't be happening. Where the fuck is Jane?_

Danger closed her eyes and ignored the hand that was painfully gripping her neck, and ignored him ripping at her clothing. Her skin crackled, faintly, with the beginnings of a biotic charge, but without her amp, there wasn't going to be much she could do. It only seemed to excite him more anyway, and she could feel him pressing against her, trying to get her exposed enough so he could take her.

She didn't have her amp, but she had to try. She couldn't let it happen like this.

She closed her eyes and focused her thoughts into a single point on her body, directing all of her spare energy to it. The bluish field circled her skin, and swirled toward the area she indicated with her mind. At first it was very light, but as she concentrated, the electricity grew darker, and the energy began to feed upon itself. She felt like there was something far away she could pull from, and she reached for it with all of her remaining strength. As it swirled around her arm into her right hand, it started to emit a low humming sound, and Danger focused her breathing to match the cadence. The room started to darken, and she heard the air crackling with electricity.

Her attacker was no longer trying to remove her clothing. He must have noticed the sudden change as well…

Danger opened her eyes, and he took several steps back, unsure of what he was looking at. She was actually unsure of what she was looking _through_. The room had taken on a dark hue, and it was almost as if she was looking through an obsidian lens. She advanced on him, raising her right hand and placing it on his chest. She felt her biotic power increase and she channeled it through her hand to surround him. The look of fear in his eyes was intoxicating. She took another step toward him and drank it in, reveling in his terror. She felt a fury stirring in her that had never been there before, and she heard a whisper in her mind…

_You are not one of mine. You should not be able to draw from my wells. Where did you come from? _

She didn't know who was speaking to her, but she didn't really care, either. All she cared about was getting off this ship, getting Jane back to Liara, and getting herself back to Terriana.

_You are a stubborn one, I see. I have tried to keep you away from her, yet you persist. I have to wonder why... What is it that grounds you to her, that shackles you to that planet? Will I never know? Very well then. Let us see how strong you really are. Feel the fury. Embrace the rage and channel it, allow it to consume you. Can you feel it? It is exquisite, is it not? It is sexual, is it not? It is everything. Embrace it. I give it to you._

She dropped her right hand back to her side, palm facing out, but she did not dismiss the field. Something about it felt… right. She couldn't dismiss it; she needed it. She turned her broken left hand so that its palm faced out as well, and joined her field to it. She bent her knees slightly, threw back her shoulders, and lowered her head, so that her body took on the form of a chalice, and she funneled all the power into a sphere in front of her, spinning the unfortunate human male with her fury.

_Perhaps I was wrong about you. You are pure and untouched, and so very just. You wield the power so righteously. Perhaps you should have been one of mine from the start. Are you one of his souls? Or are you one of the anomalies, born out of the ashes of the Consumed? Feel it fill you. I give all of this to you, it is yours to command, whoever you are.  
><em>

Danger didn't know who was whispering in her mind, but she knew that whoever it was, the voice was giving her power. Her muscles tensed, and she felt the force of the biotics starting to burn her flesh. She didn't care though. The voice was right, it was almost a sexual feeling, and Danger felt her body responding to and enhancing the power of the biotics with its own natural electricity. Her hair flowed wildly with the charge, and her lower jaw dipped forward, in an almost feral way, exposing the bottom row of her teeth and dripping saliva.

_Take all of it, I will give you as much as you can handle. Can you handle more? Feel it flow through you. It is yours. It is all yours. I want to see you take it, and smite your enemies with it. Let us see what you can handle.  
><em>

Danger accepted it, and reached out with her mind to claim more. She couldn't explain it, but it felt like it belonged to her and she was merely accepting what was already hers, and dormant for all her life. The field grew bigger, and Danger felt herself start to lift off the ground.

_Your passion has no equal. Never before has another been able to accept all of me, and live to tell the tale. It belongs in you. Now you understand. Now you have it all, and you understand. Release it. Release all the rage and the fury and let it consume your enemies. Release it._

Danger did. She threw her head back and let out a piercing howl, and pushed her hands forward, forcing the man, caught in the massive biotic field, straight through the wall of her cell, the wall of the _next_ cell, and against a third one before he crumpled to the ground, bones shattered and skin melted away.

Danger fell back to the floor, but managed to keep her feet. She wobbled a few seconds, before giving up and dropping to her knees.

_Your eyes are still open, are they? Your strength is remarkable. You must sleep now, though. Authority is not given to me to bestow these gifts upon you yet, but perhaps, I will go and barter for your soul and the next time you are born, it will be as one of mine and not one of his. Then, you will stand by my side and together we will usher in a new age. I will grant you all the gifts you deserve and wield so righteously and we will watch as my lesser daughters blossom with new power and strength, and our greater daughters conquer the far reaches of the universe. For now, I must be content to give you to her. Perhaps I was mistaken in trying to keep you away. Perhaps her eyes are not as tainted as my own, and she already has seen the fury and power in you. Your line will bring much strength and honor to her brood. You must return to her, mechanic. But first, sleep, and forget. Sleep now, and forget. Soon enough… you will be mine._

Danger felt the voice recede from her mind, and she fell forward onto the floor, exhausted. Consciousness lingered for a moment more, and then her eyes returned to their normal emerald color and her vision cleared. The massive biotic charge dissipated, and was replaced with the low pulse she was used to. Danger closed her eyes, and allowed sleep to claim her.

A few minutes later, a very frightened and confused Tali dropped out of the ventilation shaft Jane had sent her through, and she rushed to Danger's side, pulling the human against her and examining her wounds. The quarian wasn't sure exactly what she had seen, but Danger needed medical treatment and it was only a matter of time before her little biotic display got the attention of the rest of the mercs. She could dissect what she saw later. Tali turned the mercenary over, and dragged her to a corner of the room to try to medigel her wounds and wake her up.

* * *

><p>Commander Jane Shepard threw out a protective arm to stop the team behind her as they saw what looked like a torpedo shoot through the wall in front of them.<p>

She looked back at Liara, who just shrugged and shook her head. Cautiously, Jane peered around the corner, expecting to see a war breaking out, but all she saw was Tali leaning up against a wall with Danger wrapped in her arms.

"What happened in here, Tali?"

Tali looked up at the commander, terrified. "Shepard, I… I don't know. There was an asari in here, but, she wasn't like anything I have ever seen."

"What do you mean? Is there another prisoner? Where did she go?"

"No, I don't think that she was a prisoner."

"Well Liara was with us the whole time, so it wasn't her."

"Shepard, this was different. She was, so beautiful and terrible. Danger was… channeling… something. I'm not quite sure what it was. She stood behind Danger, and embraced the air surrounding her. She was, at least three feet taller than Danger is. She nearly touched the ceiling. Her skin was so blue it was like the night, and she had six massive arms and black wings that filled the room. I couldn't move. It seemed like she was whispering to Danger, and then, Danger let go of something and fell to her knees. The asari knelt beside her, and waved one hand over her head, and then was gone. I have never seen anything like it."

"She was gone? Just like that? Which way did she run?"

"No, Shepard, she was just… gone as if she was never there."

"Jane," Liara put a hand on the commander's arm.

"What, Liara?"

"That sounds a lot like Athame… but there has not be a sighting in over seven hundred years, and even then no one really took it seriously. We have not actively worshipped the Goddess in thousands upon thousands of years."

"Athame? So that's some deity of yours?"

Liara looked at the unconscious human and nodded. "Yes, it is." She addressed Tali. "Can you remember anything else?"

Tali thought about it for a few minutes. "Danger was channeling something. It looked similar to biotics, but it was darker. It was black, it wasn't blue. And then, she… howled… and pushed it through the walls."

"That does not make any sense, Tali. Danger is a human." Liara commented.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Shepard asked.

"We have legends, of Athame selecting individuals among our people and bestowing gifts upon them. Sometimes it was a strength of biotics, like Tali just described. Sometimes it was great beauty or knowledge of tactical warfare. Some even tell tales of her mating with some of our kind and creating unique bloodlines with special powers. But never has there been a legend of her visiting anyone of another race. It is always asari."

"Well, that makes sense. We have legends too," Jane replied, "and none of them involve our gods visiting other races. But we don't have any that look like what Tali described."

"No, no it was Athame. That I am sure of. There is no other who could have created such a powerful field as to do that." She indicated the still smoldering hole in the wall.

Jane looked at it again. "I suppose not. Those walls are meant to hold people in, and they are ten solid inches of the most powerful and strongest metal alloys humankind has developed."

"The question is… why did she show herself to help Danger?" Liara looked at the human, still lying in the quarian's arms. "What could she possibly want with Danger? It is a miracle the human could even survive Athame's wrath, much less channel it."

Chief Williams cut into the conversation. "I learned long ago not to question gods. You'll just give yourself a headache and be even more confused at the end. We have to get out of here and get back to the Normandy before Alenko has to do something he regrets, or someone notices we are gone."

Jane looked at her quizzically and opened her mouth to speak, but Ashley held up a hand.

"Commander, you really don't want to know. Just don't ask. Plausible deniability, and all that."

Jane closed her mouth again and nodded. "All right, let's get off this tin can. We can send the Alliance to to clean this mess up when we get back to the Citadel. Ash, come help me carry Danger."

The two soldiers picked up the unconscious human, carried her through the still smoldering hole in the wall, and headed for the shuttle bay.


	38. Chapter 37: Home sweet Normandy

**Chapter 37: Home sweet home**

**-Normandy, Sickbay**

Commander Jane Shepard stepped out of the small shuttle they had stolen from the Pitony III, and helped Williams carry the unconscious Danger into the medbay. The miserable human was burned from head to toe, and her face was a battered and bloody mess. Jane couldn't believe the mercenary was even still breathing. She looked like a victim in a horror vid. Jane hoped that her friend would be able to recover.

"Doc, we need some help here. Hurry!" the commander said as they laid her friend out on a table.

The Normandy's medical officer rushed over, and started scanning the human with some sort of hand tool Jane didn't recognize.

"What happened to her, Commander? I've never seen burns this bad before." Dr. Chakwas reached across the table to retrieve a small surgical scissor and started cutting away the mercenary's clothing.

Jane stared at the bloody and burned mess that used to be Danger and said, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you, and I am still not even sure that I believe it." She thought back to Tali's account of events and shook her head. There was just no way. It wasn't possible. Things like asari gods visiting humans and channeling powers through them was the sort of thing that only happened in fairy tales. Tali was surely just suffering the after effects of some sort of post-traumatic stress and mistook what she saw. It was probably just some kind of weapon backfire and explosion that caused everything.

"What caused these burns? Why didn't it touch her clothing? Was anyone else affected?" The doctor finished cutting away at the mercenary's casualwear, and all the crewmembers present aside from Jane turned their heads away respectfully. "It's all over her, but her clothes are untouched. Shepard, I have never seen anything like this. This should be burned into her skin…"

"Some sort of biotic field caused it, I think." Jane scratched the back of her head and shrugged. "She took a pretty hard beating. We're not really sure what happened, Doc. Can you patch her up?"

"All of you are going to have to get out of here. This is going to take some time, and I'm not even sure what I can do for her. Commander, I will let you know when I know more."

"Thanks, Doc. Is there anything you need? Can I get anything that will help?"

"Yes, Commander… actually there is." Dr. Chakwas went to her console and picked up a datapad. She punched some things onto it and handed it to the Jane. "Get this datapad to my colleague Jack North on the Citadel. Do not send it electronically. He usually visits the Med Clinic in the evenings. This is something he will want to see."

Jane took the datapad, but looked intently at the doctor. "What is this? Why can't it just be sent electronically?"

"I am not completely sure… yet. I need him to look at this data and confirm. He may want to come aboard to examine your friend."

Jane nodded. "That's fine. Anything that will get Danger back on her feet. If your friend can help, I'll make sure he has the access he needs." Jane went over to the doctor's console, and punched some security clearances into it. "There. No one should give him a hard time now."

"Commander, I don't mean to rush you, but we might want to get back to the Citadel. Pressly is ashore and thinks we are still docked…"

Jane turned to Williams and grinned. "Ash, you _stole_ the Normandy? That's terrific!" Jane looked at the gunnery chief with new respect. "Don't worry about Pressly. If he squawks we can always say I came back aboard and had an errand to run. Besides, I don't think he's half as bad as everyone thinks he is. He might appear by the book, but I think there's a rebel in him, just waiting to get out." She grasped Ashley's shoulder and smiled. "Doc, take care of Danger. I'll stop by later to check on her."

Jane turned to salute the human healer, but Chakwas had already returned to the table to work on Danger's broken body. She connected the charred human to some monitoring equipment and injected her with some sort of liquid. Jane didn't want to speculate what it might be, and decided to leave the doctor to her work. Dr. Chakwas was the best, and if anyone could bring the mercenary back from the brink, it was her.

"Come on, there's nothing left to do in here." Commander Shepard led the team out of the medbay, and closed the door. She cocked her head to the side reaching up to her ear, and then remembered her earbud had been removed when she and Danger had been kidnapped. They had also taken the service pistol she always carried. "Damn. Ash, I need another pistol. Can you set me up with one?"

"You bet, Commander. I think I'm going to overhaul all the weapons before we go out into the field again. I don't want a situation like what we had up on that ship to ever happen again. I'll have all new equipment ready for your inspection by oh five hundred tomorrow."

"Ash, I admire your dedication to your craft, but there is no way in hell I'm going to be up that early." She rubbed her temple, and tried to ignore the low throb that was beginning in the back of her head. "Dismissed. Get our weapons back up to grade and take some time to relax. We'll be getting back to the mission soon enough, but we're going to stay at the Citadel at least until we know what's going on with Danger."

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams saluted her superior officer. "Yes ma'am. Permission to go ashore? I told Kaidan I would save him from Pressly, and I'll need to get new rounds and some other supplies."

Jane looked at the gunnery chief suspiciously, but decided against asking her to clarify. "All right, Chief. I'm not sure I really want to know what the two of you are up to or how you managed all this. I swear, sometimes I think that bringing Danger here was a mistake. She's rubbing off on all of you. You have permission to do whatever you need to do. I'll talk to you later. Dismissed."

Ashley saluted again, then turned on her heel and departed.

Jane watched her walk away thoughtfully.

_Gosh, she's a great officer. I'm putting that report in tomorrow. We're doing the entire Navy a disservice by holding her back like this. _

The commander walked to a console on the wall and pressed a button. "Joker, take us back to the Citadel."

"Commander! It's great to hear your voice. What happened?"

"I'll stop up and tell you all about it later. For now, get us back to the Citadel and fast."

"You got it, Commander. Joker out."

Jane turned to Tali, and tried to gauge the quarian's state of mind. The woman was clearly shaken, but whether it was because of what she thought she had witnessed in the prisoner cell, or the sight of Danger's broken and bloody body, was anybody's guess. Either way, the commander was worried about the young engineer.

"Tali, do you need anything? Is everything ok?"

"No, I will be all right. I think I am going to go do some work on the engines. I need to do some work, right now…"

"All right Tali. Don't push yourself too hard though. Get some rest. It's been a long day for everyone. Don't worry about Danger. She's a stubborn ass. It will take a lot more to bring that idiot down than some asari god burning her alive with biotics." Jane tried to give the young woman her most reassuring smile, but it was impossible to tell whether it had the intended effect. Tali seemed to have darkened the environment in her suit, and Jane could barely see even the outline of the woman's face.

"Thank you, Commander. I will be in engineering if you need me." Tali stood there a moment more, and then did something uncharacteristic. She flung her arms around the commander's neck and nearly choked the human. Jane looked at Liara for support as she tentatively put her arms around the quarian, but the asari just considered Tali for a moment, and then shot Jane an accusing look.

_Shit, I know what she's thinking... Good job yet again, Jane, on not doing a damn thing she asks you to. It's no wonder you can't advance this relationship…gosh…_

After a few moments, the quarian loosened her grip on the commander. "Thank you, Shepard. I'm sorry. You're right; it has been a long day. I'm going to go rest now." Tali turned and strode away, and Jane scratched the back of her head sheepishly.

Finally, she turned to Liara. "Well, that was a hell of a day. I know what you are thinking with Tali, but it's just not what you think. Really. They are just good pals. That's it." She looked at her Omni-tool. "Good, it hasn't been as long as I thought. We only lost a day. I thought they had us drugged up for a lot longer in there. Sure as hell felt like it. I'm beat. You want to come relax with me a bit? You can tell me all about how you all managed this."

Liara looked at the commander and smiled, her brief anger at Jane for not speaking with the quarian forgotten. The human did look truly looked exhausted and Liara knew she should probably just let her sleep, but the truth was she had really missed Jane and didn't want to be away from her just yet.

_I guess being kidnapped, drugged, and dragged halfway across the universe can tire out even the mighty Jane Shepard. It is good to know she is still only a woman. She needs me, and I am going to be there for her through all of this._

"Of course I do, Jane." Liara took the hand extended to her, and walked with the commander back to her quarters.

_Of course I do. I do not ever want you out of my sight again…_

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard led the way to her cabin, trying to keep her steps steady. She hadn't been hurt during the event, but she still felt a little wobbly. Everything that had happened unnerved her. She could handle herself around things she could see and touch, or rather, see and shoot, but all of this craziness about gods and demons was making her seriously question her sanity.

_I'm just a soldier. I'm supposed to just point and fire, not try to understand theology or mythology. That's the job of the scholars. This just keeps getting stranger and stranger. I guess I should have expected it. I mean, the asari have to be the most mysterious race in the galaxy. It makes sense that nothing about them would make sense… I guess._

They arrived at her door, and Jane punched in her access code. Her eyes widened as she looked around what used to be her neat and orderly room.

"Whoa, what the hell happened in here? Did Ash and Joker crash the ship into something before you guys got here?"

"Whoops… I had forgotten about this." Liara couldn't help but smile. Tables were upside down, chair seats were removed and hanging from the ceiling, and the bed coverings were draped across the room, segmenting it as if it were some sort of child's fortress. Jane's trunk was upended and all the contents were strewn across the room. "Danger and I um…"

"I should have known Danger was involved." Jane stepped inside and pulled a bed sheet out of the ceiling. "It looks like you two had quite a good time."

"Well… Yes… I am sorry Jane. Danger was so sad and I missed you so much, I just wanted to be close to you. It seemed like a really good idea at the time…"

Jane waved a hand dismissively and threw the bed sheet on the floor. She walked over and embraced Liara, whispering, "Don't worry about it. I'm just so glad to be out of there and back here with you."

"Jane," Liara said as she wrapped her arms around the human's torso. "Do not ever do that to me again. I was so scared when I could not find you." She buried her face in Jane's shoulder, and closed her eyes.

"I won't, Liara. I could never leave your side. They'll have to drag me away from you. Nothing short of getting spaced could rip me from your arms ever again."

She held the asari for a few more moments, and then pulled away, running her fingers through her hair.

"Listen, I really need to get cleaned up. I have no idea what this… this grease was that Danger put on me, but it's disgusting and it's making my skin crawl." She walked over to a dresser and opened the drawer, revealing half a pizza crust and various crumbs placed throughout. "Wow, this is almost as bad as the time she raided my apartment on Earth. I'm glad we are in space where she can't get hold of any insects or worms. That cleanup was a nightmare. I was finding caterpillars in my clothing for a solid week…" Jane picked up one of her ship casualwear suits and shook the crumbs out of it. "Good old Darla. You can always count on her to do the most immature thing possible when dealing with a crisis." Her voice cracked at the end of her statement, and she leaned forward, with her hands on the bureau.

_I'm not going to cry yet, Darla. I'm sure you are fine. It's just a beating, and you've had worse, right? You said so yourself. All this about demons and gods is just nonsense. Tali probably just had some fog on her helmet or something, and Sha'ira just enjoys intrigue. The doctor will patch you up with some medigel, and that will be that. Everything will be just fine. Maybe I will have the ambassador pull some strings and get you assigned here as a mechanic. Maybe I don't even really have to. I'm a Spectre now, and can do what I want, right? Damn it, Darla. I wish you had never met that asari. She's caused nothing but trouble. _

Liara saw the internal struggle Jane was going through, and slipped up behind her, snaking her arms around the woman's belly and resting her head on Jane's shoulders. "It's ok, Jane. She's going to be fine. She's going to be just fine."

Jane let her chin drop to her chest, and just enjoyed the sensation of Liara's arms around her. It was so good to be back on the ship, comfortable and safe, and close to her asari. They stood there like that for a few moments, before she turned around and leaned her forehead against the shorter woman's head. "I need to go get cleaned up, Liara. Let's go back to the safe house tonight. I don't feel like straightening this place up."

Liara sighed and said, "It is no longer safe. Danger was followed to it. She is going to have to find a new place, I think."

"Damn. She _has_ gotten sloppy. That matriarch has really destroyed her. Back in the old days, they called her the Phantom. You never saw Danger unless Danger wanted to be seen. Of course, I knew all her tricks. She couldn't get past me." Jane rested her chin on Liara's head, and the asari leaned into her, sighing softly and burying her face in the human's neck. "All right well, let me get cleaned up and we can figure out what to do later. Make sure you tell Danger her safe house has been compromised, in case I forget. I've been doing a lot of that lately…" Jane grinned and gave the asari a squeeze.

"Ok, Jane. I can take that datapad to the Med Clinic and pick up some food while you wash."

"That's a really good idea, Liara." Jane took the datapad out of her pocket and handed it over. "That Jack North character should be getting there shortly. I'll see you in a little bit." She kissed the asari's forehead, and then entered her washroom and closed the door.

Liara stood there looking at it for a few minutes, more than a little disappointed that Jane had walked away with such limited physical contact.

_Well, you did bring all of this upon yourself, you know. You've had ample opportunity to advance this, and quite a bit of help along the way as well.  
><em>

_Who are you?  
><em>

_That's for me to know, and you to... not know. Surprise!_

_Why are you in my head?_

_Where else would I be?_

_You know what I mean. _

_My, aren't we getting bold? Perhaps you will grow bold enough to finally take what is yours. Perhaps._

_I do not have to listen to this. I am not going mad. I've had enough of these insane whisperings._

_Ha, I am just getting started...  
><em>

Liara stowed the datapad in a pocket and looked around at the mess of a room.

_I'll help Jane clean this up later. Right now, I should just go deliver the doctor's note. Today really has been exhausting, and I just want it to be over with already so I can relax in her arms._

She glanced once more at the closed washroom door. She wanted so badly to just walk in that room and lose herself in the human's embrace, but…

_You are right… I am not so bold. I am a coward._

_Pity. She wouldn't refuse you, you know…_

Liara sighed and placed her hands on either side of her head, as if she could hold her thoughts in.

_I must be going mad. Maybe… maybe the stress of all of this really is too much for me to handle. Maybe I should just go back to Thessia, see to mother's estate, and just walk away from all of this. Then Jane would not be distracted anymore, I would not be going through this mental madness anymore, and the galaxy would go on just as it did before._

_You can't walk away from this, Liara. We are well past the point of anyone just… walking away now.  
><em>

"I need to get some air… and you need to get out of my head."

_No, thank you. It's actually rather cozy in here. I can see why she kept you company for so long.  
><em>

Liara straightened herself up, made her way back out to the hallway, and headed for the Citadel.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Jane's washroom<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard undressed, and threw her clothing straight into the garbage chute. It was a sweaty and greasy mess, and she wasn't sure that even the advanced laundering systems the Normandy had could possibly clean all the oil out of it. She raked her fingers through her hair a couple times, and then turned on the water, as hot as it would go. She stepped into the shower and leaned against the wall as the liquid poured down her back.

_I hope you're ok, Danger. You aren't the only one who should have been more alert. I've been just as distracted by Liara, and I didn't notice anything amiss, either. Both of us should have been paying more attention. We're highly trained specialists, and a two bit nothing like Red should have never even gotten close to us, especially together. This is still a dangerous place, and the world hasn't been put on hold just because we decided to get involved with the two most complicated asari in the galaxy. _

Jane leaned back and picked up her small bar of soap. It felt good to clean off the grease, and she was surprised at how easily it washed away. She had been fully expecting to have to get some of Danger's 'Hand Sand' as she called it, to get the stain out of her skin. As it was, the dirt and grime flowed off her body and swirled down the drain, the warm water washing away the memory of the day.

_Well, I guess it doesn't matter now. Hindsight is 20/20, as Tali would say. And, this gave Ash an opportunity to prove herself. What a rescue, and what coordination. I can't wait to see what she does next. _

Jane took great care in washing her black hair, ensuring that all the grease was rinsed clean. She wasn't very fussy about her hair in general, having never taken to styling it like some other women did, but she did like it clean. She finished washing the rest of her body quickly, and stepped back out of the shower.

_That's so much better now. I think it's even gotten rid of my headache. _

Jane dried herself off, and pulled on the casualwear she had laid on the counter. Picking up a brush, she combed out her hair, and then brushed her teeth. It was a pretty standard ritual, one that she'd had since she was a kid. She remembered the very first day she had spent on the Vance block, where she had been taught her little sequence and given the tools she would need to perform her daily grooming procedure.

Darla had picked her up out of the crevasse she'd gotten her ankle caught in, and brought the girl to her offices. Jane was a scrawny mess, with torn clothes, a dirty face, and matted hair. The head of the Vance division of the Reds stripped the girl down and dumped her in a tub, throwing the scraps of clothing out the window. She gave Jane a small bar of soap, and then left the room to find something that would fit the child. Once Jane had cleaned herself up and was dressed in some clothing one of Darla's mercenaries had loaned her, the older human put the child in front of the mirror, combed her hair, and showed her how to use a toothbrush. Jane closed her eyes and let Darla's words fill her mind…

_Take care of yourself, kiddo. You're worth it, and don't let anyone tell you any different. You're a Vance now, and the Vance family is a beautiful one._

Jane had never heard anything as majestic as those words that day. The older human seemed like some sort of angel, sent down from heaven just to take care of her and keep her safe. The next few years of her life were spent as close to Darla Vance as possible. As Jane got older, their relationship morphed into a genuine friendship, and now she couldn't imagine what it would be like to not have access to talk to the older woman when she needed to.

Jane opened her eyes and looked in the mirror for a long time.

_I've aged. I'm not that scrawny kid anymore, and I'm dealing with realities that no one should have to face. You have to pull though, Danger. You were the only friend I had back then, and it's not fair that you sacrificed so much to take care of me and the other kids, and now you get nothing for yourself._

She pushed herself back from the sink, and threw her towel over the shower door to dry. She stepped out of the small washroom, and looked around at her destroyed cabin once more.

_It's amazing how when I was a kid, I thought you were the most grown up and together person ever, and now that I'm an adult, I think you are the most immature and impish person ever. _

She walked through the mess smiling, and pulled some of the chair cushions out of the ceiling. She replaced them on the chairs, and pushed her way through a hanging comforter to the bed. Jane sat on the edge and picked up the sheet that she had thrown on the floor.

_I'm really tired. I'm just going to lie down for a few seconds. I'm sure I will hear Liara come back in, and I'll get up then. I'll just close my eyes for a few seconds and rest…_

Jane laid down on the bed, pulled the sheet over her, and told herself one last time she would get up as soon as she heard the door open before closing her eyes and succumbing to the night mother's caress.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters, later<strong>

Liara stood in the doorway, just staring at the slumbering human. Jane looked so peaceful and vulnerable lying there, partially covered with the sheet she had pulled out of the ceiling. It was a beautiful sight.

Liara had delivered the datapad to Dr. Chakwas' colleague on the Citadel, whose eyes had widened at the message in surprise. The man nearly knocked Liara over as he ran out of the Med Clinic, presumably on his way to meet with Chakwas on the Normandy. Liara had then left, and made her way to a human pizza shop Danger had told her about. She wasn't particularly fond of human food, but the dish they called pizza actually wasn't half bad. She ordered Jane's favorite toppings: sausage and peppers, again courtesy of Danger's intel, and sat down at a booth near the window to wait. It was a pretty peaceful evening on the Citadel, with people bustling about on their business and nothing really noteworthy happening. Well, nothing noteworthy other than the off key singing that suddenly seemed to be filling the streets...

Her gaze was drawn to a side alley, where there was a bit of a commotion. She saw what looked like Chief Williams, Lt. Alenko, and Navigator Pressly, dancing in the street with two unknown asari, three turians, and at least one hanar, singing some sort of human drinking chant. Liara shook her head in wonder.

_Well, looks like they are having fun. I hope they do not get too out of hand. I am sure that Jane will not want to have to bail them out of jail tomorrow. _

Liara watched them for a little while longer, and then turned her gaze away as it seemed Chief Williams was taking the situation in hand. She put one arm around Alenko and the other around Pressly, and led the two men out of the side street and into a nearby restaurant. The two asari they had been dancing with threw their arms around each other and disappeared back into the bar, while the turians picked up the hanar and started dancing down the street, cheering about the enkindlers. Liara smiled. It was a comical sight. She wasn't worried about the Normandy officers. Williams would take care of Alenko and Pressly. She was probably bringing them into the restaurant to get some food in them before they went back to the Normandy.

Liara resumed watching the bustling people, just walking back and forth along the streets. They all seemed so busy. She wondered what important things they could be up to, but didn't have a lot of time to ponder and make up stories for each of them, like she used to do when in boring classes on Thessia. She had loved being at school and learning about history, but there were times that she got bored and would instead imagine what sorts of lives her classmates led. Of course, she was probably just romanticizing their existences and likely none of the situations she came up with were anywhere near reality, but it was a fun way to pass the time.

She looked over at the counter and saw that the human merchant was impatiently signaling for her to pick up her order. She collected her packages and then made her way back to the Normandy. She dropped off a few slices to Joker, and returned to the commander's cabin.

Now she stood there, just looking at the human woman she fell in love with so many months ago.

_I love you Jane. I love you so much, and I want to show you so badly. Why does it seem like we never get the chance? Is it ever going to happen? We get so close, and something always gets in the way._

She put the pizza in a small climate control box, and slipped out of her shoes. She pulled the rest of the blankets out of the ceiling, and situated them across the sleeping human. Jane didn't stir at all.

_She is so exhausted. I do not blame her. They went through a lot up there. I should contact that Tattoo Jack and thank him. We would not have gotten there in time if it was not for him. We might not have found them at all if he had not approached me. _

Liara didn't want to think about that, though. Jane was safe, and it didn't matter what could have been if Tattoo Jack hadn't been around. He _was_ around, and he helped her. Liara began to think that it might not be a bad idea to keep in touch with the information broker. He could come in handy, if they needed intel. She took out the holostick he had given her, and tucked it safely in her shoe.

_I will just hang onto that for a while, and I will send him a message tomorrow thanking him. _

That decided, she slipped under the covers behind Jane and draped her arm across the human's torso, cuddling close to the woman's strong back. Jane still didn't stir, so Liara watched her intently to make sure she was even still breathing. After a few seconds, she did see the commander's chest rise and fall, so she closed her eyes and relaxed next to her love. Subconsciously she reached out with her mind, and was surprised to feel Jane link up with her. It was a strange feeling… not like when she was a child and would link up with her mother. She had, of course, felt love when her mother's mind comforted her as she slept, but this was completely different. Liara wasn't sure how it was even possible with a human.

_She is asleep, and I did not say the focusing words. How did she link up with me? _

It was a warm feeling, not quite like joining, but she felt Jane's love for her and it washed over her like a soft wave. She decided not to question it, and just let it be. She pulled the covers over them, and allowed herself to sink into slumber as she sent messages of comfort and love through the link to the mysterious human.


	39. Chapter 38: Pawns of the Pantheon

**Chapter 38: Pawns of the Pantheon**

* * *

><p><strong>- The Halls of Platinum<strong>

_She was late._

_For over a century now, they had met up here in his great halls, and played many games with their creations. They would talk, and laugh, and move pieces into impossible situations for hours, just to see what the creatures would do. Occasionally they would work together to overcome some obstacle, but mostly it was just good fun; something to fill up the lonely hours as they waited for the enemy to make a move. _

_He had missed her over the long millennia while they had all gone their separate ways, and was starting to get used to the nightly banter and companionship once again. While he knew that she would never be to him what he had once wanted her to be, she was a good friend and had always supported his ideas. He was grateful for that and respected her highly. They would never have been able to enjoy this camaraderie if things hadn't worked out this way, after all. And he rather liked the way that things worked out._

_Still, she had never been late to their games before, and he was intrigued. _

_He stood, expanded his platinum wings and walked to a crystalline window that faced the courtyard. There, his children carved beautiful statues out of ice and played soft music on all manner of golden stringed instruments. He liked to keep his surroundings beautiful and serene, unlike some of his brethren who filled their halls with mechanical things or deformed experiments. His children were the image of his own beauty, all tall and lithe creatures with snowy wings and long platinum hair, and they all sang to him throughout the day and created works of beauty that stretched the length and breadth of his great halls. _

_He smiled to himself as he thought of the one time he had visited her dwelling, The Halls of Obsidian. She had wanted to show him a new creation she had been working on, and he had immediately agreed to visit her lair to offer his assistance. He had been surprised at how similar her halls were to his own, albeit much, much darker. The structure was nearly identical, with her gathering rooms in the center, and her courtyard housing her children as they sang and danced in the moonlight. Even her children looked much like his did, but their skin was obsidian and they brought death on black wings. Her halls were carved out of dusky marble, while his were carved out of glass souls, and her black tower overlooked the Sea of Ages. _

_He had only gone there once. She was secretive and preferred her seclusion, but he would remember that visit for the rest of eternity. As far as he knew, no one had ever been invited to her halls, and he had been extremely flattered to have been consulted on the creation of her latest bloodline. In fact, that was part of the reason they were playing these games of late. They were experimenting. _

_He returned to his seat, and settled down to wait. She would have sent a messenger if she was not coming, and no dark wings had shadowed his shimmering sky. She would be here, eventually. Until then, he could study the board and plan his next move. _

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay<strong>

"You say they brought her in here like that?" Dr. Jack North stood over the motionless, but stable, form of Darla Vance, disbelieving. When he had arrived, the woman's entire body was charred and blackened, but as he and his colleague examined her, it had started flaking off. He and Chakwas then started brushing off the dead cells, revealing nearly perfect skin underneath. The only thing irregular was a somewhat sickly blue tint.

"Exactly like this." Doctor Chakwas showed her friend and colleague an image on her Omni-tool.

"What did they say caused it?"

"The commander was vague. She said something about a biotic field, but I have my doubts. I've never seen anything like it. What do you think it is?" She was running a hand scanner up and down the human's body, but there was nothing irregular about her vital signs. By all accounts, Danger was unconscious, but normal.

He cut her off. "I… I don't know. I need to call my wife. She would know about burns like this. We should bring the patient to the citadel where Lirilith can examine her."

"I'll clear it with the commander. How long will it be before she can get here?"

"I will call her right now, and get her on the next transport. She will want to see this." He stepped over to Dr. Chakwas' console, and started pressing various buttons and whispering. "There. She will be here within the hour. I knew she wouldn't be able to resist this. Can I take her?" he gestured to the human lying on the examination table.

Dr. Chakwas nodded. "Yes, I will let the commander know that I needed to bring in more specialists. Are you taking her to the Med Clinic? I'm sure Shepard will want to visit her friend."

"No, I don't think this is a medical matter. Her vital signs are stable, but I'm afraid she might have been the subject of some sort of religious experiment. I'm taking her to my apartments so Liri can look at her in peace. I will call you when I have an update."

"Very well then, Jack. I leave her in your capable hands." She helped him roll Danger's body onto a transport cart, and the man rushed her out of the medical bay without another word.

* * *

><p><strong>-Halls of Platinum<strong>

_He had been staring at a piece for what seemed like hours, considering who to pair it up with, when he heard the massive doors to his gathering area open. _

_She had arrived. _

_He watched the demon-god approach, dusky wings expanded fully and all six of her arms clasped behind her. She stared at the ground as she walked, seemingly lost in her thoughts. She looked up at him when she reached the table, smiled, and took her customary seat, folding back her wings and relaxing into the plush golden cushions he had set out for her._

"_You are late."_

"_I was detained. Shall we begin?"_

_He nodded. "Of course."_

_He considered the table before him, which held thousands upon thousands of carved pieces, both platinum and obsidian. There were lines drawn across it, symbolizing his side and her side. All the pieces were set, some alone, and some next to each other, spanning the length of the board. Those toward the center were the most active, and those toward the outskirts were waiting to be paired or moved into various other situations. Last night she'd had the final move, so it was his turn to start. He took a piece from the small table at his right hand, that held his most valuable assets, and moved it to stand next to one of her pieces, far to the left of the others and standing alone. This was a pair he had been trying to advance for weeks, and it had almost become a ritual that he would start with that move on his days, and she would reject it. This time, though, she nodded, barely even looking at the carved image of a platinum, dark haired male._

"_My friend, you are distracted. Perhaps we should do this another time. I do not wish to take advantage of you." She was clearly not thinking straight, and while he could have used this opportunity to advance many of his pieces, he preferred to work with her instead of against her, especially as the threat of the machine-gods loomed ever nearer. The two of them were the most powerful of the Pantheon, and if they started warring, all would surely be lost. The rest looked to them for leadership, and if they were to have any hope at all, he had to keep his alliance with her stable. They had already lost one civilization because of their petty feuding, and he didn't want to lose another. He didn't want to watch her heart break yet again._

"_It is fine." She waved him off. "It is my move, yes?"_

_He nodded. _

"_I am invoking the pact, and I respectfully ask that you consider the trade and the rearrangement of souls." She met his eyes, almost defiantly challenging him to refuse._

_He raised his eyebrows and leaned back in his chair, curious as to what she was after. As far as he could remember, no one had ever invoked the pact. It was true that there hadn't been many opportunities to, since they all had decided to walk their own paths after dividing up the souls, but the pact was still there, and any of them could invoke it, and initiate a trade, if they so desired._

"_Very well then, my friend. Show me what you have in mind."_

_She gazed over the board, seeking one piece in particular. He watched her intently as she examined each one, wondering what could have prompted her to invoke the agreement the gods had made so many millennia ago when they created their newest version of civilization. Her eyes lingered on each piece, but eventually she was satisfied that it was not on the board. It was not currently in play. Her eyes traveled to the table on his right, where he kept the most valuable chosen that were not currently being matched, or would not be matched to her daughters. There were all manner of mighty souls there, thousands of strong men and women of pure bloodlines that he had protected and nurtured over the ages. She fully expected to see the piece there, among the best and brightest her companion had to offer, but there was no golden-haired platinum piece, and there was no piece bearing the mark of the Silver Hand. The soul she sought was not there. The soul she sought was never raised to platinum status in his hierarchy._

_After considering each one at least three times, she turned her gaze to the table on his left, where he kept his lesser souls. These were not of pure bloodlines, and were mostly used to advance his chosen children or protect them. These rarely were matched to her daughters. Almost immediately, she spotted what she was looking for. There, lying among some other pieces that were damaged was a charred and blackened figure, with long golden hair. She was surprised that the soul wasn't among his chosen, but if he didn't see the value, then it would just make it easier to complete the trade. At the very least, he didn't seem to have noticed her little extra-curricular activity, so perhaps it was just as well this one was considered a lesser soul. He never did think very highly of biotic capabilities, his champions being comprised of mostly men and women who were proficient at battle and tactical analysis; those who would lead the kind that the other gods created._

_She lifted her topmost left hand, and used her biotic strength to move the soul onto the board, gently pushing a black haired platinum female piece that bore the image of a Silver Hand on her left arm away from the heavily robed figure it had been standing next to. She moved the charred and blackened figurine next to her selected daughter, but placed it on her side of the line. Next, she moved the soldier piece to stand near another of her daughters, this one with only light facial markings and the mark of the demon carved almost invisibly into the small of her back. This piece, however, she left on his side. He would never give that piece up, and she wasn't entirely sure that he should. They would all need a champion like his Chosen, and it would only confuse her to suddenly be marked by another god. They couldn't afford confusion right now. She had enough of her own daughters to manage as it was, and it was enough to join his Champion with her demon. The two pairings were already in motion, so all she would really have to do was whisper words of encouragement. It was perfect. _

_He considered her moves for several moments, wondering why she had chosen one of his lesser souls with which to invoke the pact, and why she had rejected the offering of his Champion from their original agreement, especially after she had gone through so much trouble to try to force that pairing. It didn't make sense. The soul she had selected wasn't very valuable, and Athame herself had displayed a particular disdain for the 'mechanic'. In fact, he had only used the woman to keep his Chosen child, his Champion, alive and well and protected until she could fulfill her destiny. Still, if his friend wanted that piece, he would give it to her, but not for free. _

_He stood, and walked over to the table behind her, where the souls that had expired waited until their time of reflection had passed and they could be recycled into new vessels. There was a century long period of contemplation on the life just lived, and then the souls would be released into the Gaia of a new world, to enter a new body. He selected one piece that had no facial markings, but bore a mark of a different kind, and returned to his table with it. He placed it at the front of his own pool of expired souls, and then stood back, gesturing to it with a snowy hand. _

_Her eyes narrowed at his gall, but she nodded once, briefly. The soul would still be available to her to pair back up with the daughter it belonged to when the time came, as long as it stayed in his control and they continued their game. It was a good enough trade, and she was getting something mighty in return for herself, even if she would have to wait a couple centuries until it was available to her. _

"_So it is done then, Palladium." She waved her topmost right hand over the board, and the blackened and charred ash fell off the newly added piece, revealing snowy skin, and a carved mark etched in the small of her back. "Now, let us get back to the game. I have a few new offers to make you, my friend. I have four daughters that have come of age and are ready to make their mark on the world. They have become restless and are giving their parents no end of grief. I had thought they would be well suited to the group you recently moved back to Feros."_

_The mighty god took his seat once again, nodding to his friend across the massive table. Leaning over the board to consider the offer she had made, he almost unconsciously reached to his left and grasped several pieces from a small model colony, lining them up along the ones she had offered. She switched the places of one male and one female he had placed, and then nodded. _

"_That will do very nicely. Now, how are we going to get them together?"_

_He smiled at her mischievously, and removed a book from under the table. "How about we…" She moved to sit on the arm of his chair, leaning against his massive shoulder, and together they read through the Book of Ages and selected a scenario with which to create an opportunity for their latest experiment. _

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Jack North's apartments<strong>

Dr. Jack North pushed the transport cart into his apartments, and then laid the slumbering form of the mercenary on the sofa. He moved the cart to a corner of the room, and then entered the kitchen to put on coffee for himself, and some hot water for his wife's favorite Thessian tea.

His wife was a scholar, her specialty being religion and theology. She was nine hundred years old, and was nearing the end of her days, but he had fallen in love with her the very second they had met at a joint asari\human medical conference. After the humans had established themselves on the Citadel, such gatherings were common and medical doctors as well as theology scholars often visited together to trade information, theories, and just hang out with each other.

Jack North was in his eighties, and had spent his life studying asari physiology and how it related to humans. Matriarch Lirilith's specialty was religion and the implications of what it meant to be associated with other races, and she had a particular interest in humans as they were the most similar to her own kind. Jack and Lirilith were a natural fit from the start, spending every free moment they had discussing everything from religion to politics, and it was only three months before he asked her to marry him.

He lived on the Citadel, as he was considered the authority on asari and human relations, and as such he had to be close to the central hub to be available for consultation. She resided on Thessia, as did most that had reached her age. Sometimes he was lonely, but he understood from the start what it would be like to be married, or as she would have said, bonded, to a matriarch. They were able to get together at every conference and he often visited her planet to share his latest research. It may not have been ideal, but he was content with what they had.

He prepared his coffee, with light cream only, and sat in a chair across from the mercenary to wait for his wife to arrive. As he sat there, he wondered what kind of biotic field could have caused such burns, and why her skin now seemed almost completely healed. He thought it even looked like the blue tint was dissipating, but he wasn't really sure. He wished that Liri had been here when he got the message from Dr. Chakwas so she could have seen the human before the blackened skin fell away. Still, he had the images his colleague had passed to him, so he would be able to show his wife what the mercenary had looked like when she had been brought in.

He sat there just staring at the unconscious woman's body, as the hour slowly passed. Eventually, when he feared he might doze off, his door slid open and Lirilith entered the room. She wasn't tall by asari standards, but somehow she still managed to command respect no matter where she went. Jack had always thought it was because of her deeply held religious beliefs. She was one of the few who still believed wholly in their goddess, Athame, and it was almost as if she was touched by an immortal hand. None dared challenge her, at least not to her face. Her skin was a much darker blue than most other asari, and she had no facial markings. Her attire was a simple grey robe and shawl, a style that was typical of those who lived by the religious teachings. He stood and smiled as she threw herself into his arms.

"I've missed you so much, Jack."

"I've missed you as well, Liri." He held her tightly for a moment, but then stepped back and gestured to the unconscious human on the sofa.

"Jack, you should have at least covered her up." The asari elder removed her grey shawl and placed it over Danger. Dr. North tried to look innocent, but he was male, after all, and despite the burn marks and bruises, the mercenary was a very nice specimen of the female human physique.

"I didn't have time, Liri. I wanted to get her out of Chakwas' medical bay before they started asking too many questions. So, what do you think? Some sort of ritual sacrifice gone horribly wrong?"

Lirilith shook her head at her bondmate's response, but let it slide. She could see why he had left the mercenary uncovered, and perhaps in her younger years she might have done the same thing, and even more… Well that didn't matter anyway, because it was clear even now that getting involved with this human would be playing with a fire best left unprovoked.

"Jack, help me turn her over." The man knelt at his wife's side, and he helped her lift the mercenary and turn the woman onto her stomach.

"What are you looking for?"

Lirilith had started running her hand along the skin on the mercenary's back, looking for any blemish or irregularity. "Bring me a light, dear."

He left the room, and returned with a surgical lamp he kept in case of emergencies. He attached it to a power source, and positioned it just above the couch where his wife was examining the mercenary's body. She reached up and adjusted the light, and exhaled softly as her fingers traced a small, almost invisible symbol.

There, on the small of the human's back, only visible in the specific angle of the light, was a crude marking, that looked suspiciously like the symbol of the asari nation.

"Jack, this hasn't been seen in millennia." Her husband knelt at her side and tried to see what she was looking at.

"Liri, that's just some sort of scraping. It's probably from the burns. I called you because I thought the biotic burn marks might have been some sort of religious ritual."

She shook her head, but didn't comment on his observation. "Tell me again about the burns."

He turned around and leaned against the couch. "Well, her entire body was charred. Here, look at this." He pulled up an image on his Omni-tool. "Dr. Chakwas took a holo of it. That's what she looked like, head to toe. The clothing wasn't melted into her skin though, which was strange. One second she was covered with these burns, and the next second she just started… flaking it off. She was a sort of sickly blue for a while, but that seems to be going away. Her vital signs are normal, and I have absolutely no explanation for the behavior of those burns. She should be dead, with the severity of the damage to her skin. But she isn't and then suddenly it was all just gone."

Lirilith continued tracing the symbol on the woman's back.

_Can it be possible? Has she returned to take an active hand in events once more? Why would she be marking humans, though? I should speak to the head of my order…_

"Her skin should return to normal soon, Jack. The marking is never permanent, except for… this part." She indicated the small symbol etched into the human's skin.

"The marking? Ok, say it _was_ put there on purpose. Who put it there? And why?"

"I need to see the head of my order. Can you get her released to Thessia? We will need to study her. She has been touched by the Goddess. We need to find out why."

Danger had been listening to the back and forth for the last several minutes, curious as to what was going on, but at the mention of Thessia she felt a fury overwhelm her and she grasped the grey shawl as she sprung to life and spun over the back of the couch.

"I don't know who you are, or why I'm naked in your place, but there is no way I'm going back to Thessia."

Lirilith looked at her husband, but he just shrugged.

Back_ to Thessia? So she has been there before. Curious. _

The asari stood and reached out a hand to the human. "It's all right, we are friends. I was called in to look at your injuries, but it seems they have healed. I need you to understand what has happened to you. Something very peculiar is going on, and I need to get you to back to the temples on Thessia."

"Lady, there is no way you are dragging me back to that hell hole of a planet. I'm getting out of here, and you better not try to stop me." Danger felt her skin crackle with electricity, and looked down at her hands in confusion. She couldn't feel her amp, and knew it had been removed when she had been kidnapped. Still, her skin was tingling with the power of biotics.

_Kidnapped? Yes, I was kidnapped. Shit, what happened to me… _

She closed her eyes and mentally examined her body, breathing a sigh of relief. The last thing she remembered was being forced up against a wall by a human thug, but she didn't feel any evidence that she had been… violated.

_Thank god that didn't happen. But how the hell did I end up here in some strange old couple's apartment? I need to lay off the sauce._

She lifted her right hand, doing her best to hold the shawl closed around her with her now healing left, and backed slowly towards the door. "I don't know who you are, but I promise you if you come near me or try anything, I'll blow this place sky high."

Jack moved toward her, intending to stop her from leaving, but Lirilith placed a warning hand on his arm. She shook her head at him. He looked confused, but he stopped advancing on the mercenary. Danger took the opportunity to open the door, and disappear through it.

"Why didn't you let me stop her, Liri?"

"You couldn't have stopped her. I couldn't have stopped her. The best we can do now, is observe her. I will contact the head of my order and we will place a watch on her. What is her name?"

He picked up a datapad and punched a few buttons. "Hmm. Chakwas says it's Darla Vance. Apparently she's from Earth, and does some work for the Alliance. It should be easy enough to get her background. I have contacts in C-Sec that could help."

She smiled at her husband and wrapped her arms around his neck. "That would be wonderful. We can worry about all of that later, though. I've cleared my schedule for the next few days, and I thought we could get to work on that… thing we were talking about."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and grinned widely. "So you changed your mind?"

She nodded. "I have. You are right, there is nothing in our faith that would preclude it and, I only have a few more viable years left. I can think of no one better than you, Jack."

He smiled down at the magnificent creature in his arms, and brushed his fingers across her cheek. "I love you, Liri. If we do this, I will move to Thessia and help you with it. You won't be alone."

Her eyes brightened, and she stood on her toes to brush his lips with hers, before taking him by the hand and leading him to their bedroom.

* * *

><p><strong>-Citadel, Outside Jack North's apartments<strong>

Danger looked down at her barely covered body.

_How in the hell am I going to get back to the Normandy looking like this? I may have escaped fate once, but with all these asari all over the place, I'm sure to get accosted and lose my honor before I make it back to Jane's ship! Wait… is that so bad?_

Danger chuckled at her own humor, and slowly started to make her way down the hallway. Luckily, it was getting late and most of the citizens of the Citadel were either at home or in bars. There were a few salarians walking about, but they barely took notice of a half-naked human striding down the walkway. They barely took notice of anything that wasn't on a datapad.

She made her way through the streets, and though she got a few quizzical looks from C-Sec security officers, none of them actually stopped her. Technically, she was covered, even if it was just barely. She arrived at the docking level, and pushed the com panel to tell Joker to let her in. She went through the sweep, and stepped through the doorway. The pilot turned around in his chair, and gave her a rousing cheer.

"Hell yea, Danger! That's a good look on you!"

Danger grinned and walked over to the pilot, leaning against the chair next to him. "You think so, huh? I call it, 'medically manhandled'. It has a nice ring to it, no?" She turned from side to side, holding the shawl in place and doing her best impression of a seductress.

"It sure does. What happened to you?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea. I'm hoping to get some answers out of Jane later, but we'll see. First, I need to get some clothes."

"Nah, what do you need those for? I had no idea you were so hot under that merc outfit. You can't keep denying the world the chance to gaze at such great ass." He grinned roguishly at her, and she waved him off.

"Yea, whatever. In your dreams bro. By the way, check out your vid collection. I added a few titles for you."

He swung his chair back around and punched some numbers into his console. "Nice! _Maidens Gone Wild, Raiders of the Lost Asari, _and_ The Real Bondmates of Thessia, _volumes 1 through 57_! _And you fixed my _And Justicars for all _vid! Danger, you're a real pal!"

"Don't mention it. Like, especially to Jane."

Joker gave Danger the thumbs up sign, and the mercenary turned to make her way through the ship's corridors to the garages. Since it was so late and they weren't planning on leaving dock, there were few crewmembers on the bridge, but Ashley Williams was there going over some star charts. She looked quizzically at Danger as the human strode by, wrapped in her thin grey covering, but the human soldier didn't comment. Instead, she just turned and leaned against the console, crossing her arms and smirking at the mercenary's attempt to look natural. Danger noticed, and just as she reached the door, she turned, grinned at Ashley, grabbed either side of the thin, grey material and opened it wide, before turning back around and nearly falling down the stairs with laughter at the gunnery chief's horrified expression.

_Oh hell, I wish I had gotten a pic of that. That was too epic. That was just too epic. _

Danger punched the numbers that would take her to the garage level, and gathered the shawl back around her. Thankfully, there was no one awake down there, and she was able to easily slip into the Mako and finally put on some decent clothes.

_I'll have to go see Jane tomorrow, but right now, I think I could use some sleep. _

"DIDI, can you put the heat on in here? It's freezing. Lock the doors while you are at it, and don't let anyone in."

"Operative Danger, it is seventy five degrees Fahrenheit inside the vehicle."

"It's freezing in here. Turn on the damn heat."

"Very well then." The AI complied with Danger's requests, and as the mercenary felt the hot air caress her skin, she curled up in the rear seats, and slept.


	40. Chapter 39: All good things must end

**Chapter 39: All good things must end**

**-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's Quarters**

Commander Jane Shepard awoke, but she tried not to move. She was immediately aware of Liara wrapped around her, and she didn't want to disturb the young asari or break the contact. These moments were the only thing that she could hold onto and refer to when her world was crashing, and since lately it seemed like the world was crashing an awful lot, she needed all the stolen moments she could get.

_This is strange. She's connected to me. I hope she didn't stumble across any of the memories I have locked away. I wonder how we linked up._

Jane suddenly felt guilty. She had been meaning to use every free second to practice what Sha'ira had taught her, but every time she turned around, something catastrophic was happening and she hadn't yet found the time. As much as she regretted missing out on her planned rendezvous with Liara at the safehouse, part of her was grateful that she had been kidnapped. She wasn't entirely sure whether she had practiced enough yet to hide the memories from the inquisitive young asari, and she had no idea how deep the link would go when they… well… she better not start thinking about that, especially since her best friend was only a deck away, at death's door.

_I hope that Danger is ok. I should go check on her and see what's happening. _

But, she didn't have to do that right this second. Right now, it was still early, and she had some time to lay with her love and enjoy the proximity. Liara was wrapped around her, gripping the commander's shirt as if she could keep the human from ever slipping away again.

_Liara, I didn't mean to go away from you. I never want to be away from you. I want to be with you always. Don't you see that?_

Maybe Liara did see that. Jane examined the link between the two of them, but there was only a faint trace of current going back and forth between them. She couldn't make out any distinct words or emotions, but that could be because the asari was asleep.

Deciding that it wasn't quite time to wake up yet, Jane closed her eyes, and drifted off once more, as the gentle breathing of the woman behind her lulled her to sleep.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Nightmares<strong>_

_Platinum swords. _

_She stood and looked to either side of the road she was on, and saw nothing but platinum swords, driven into the ground. _

_Clearly, she was meant to take this path. It was almost over, and she was being welcomed home.  
><em>

_Quietly, she walked along the way indicated to her, and gazed at her surroundings. The sky was dark, with a dim orange glow in the distance where it met the silver mountains. The grass was golden, and it swayed softly in the crystalline breeze. She felt the air caress her black hair, and her grip tightened around the steel sword she carried. _

_Sword? Why was she carrying a sword? Strange.  
><em>

_One foot in front of the other, she walked the path as it winded upwards into the depths of the mountains and gave way to a staircase. It took her an eternity to ascend the glassy walkway, and she gripped the blade of the sword with her other hand, drawing blood, willing herself the strength to continue. As her hand bled out, she felt her body weakening, but her mind was overcoming the frailty of her flesh. Her mind was focusing all her energy onto a single point, ahead in the distance. She had waited her entire life to make this climb, and if she did not make it to the end this night, she never would. _

_She overcame each step individually, each solitary movement requiring such a control of will that she felt even the slightest distraction could cause her ruin. She gripped the sword more tightly, and ignored the blood that spilled out of her hand across the crystalline surface of the stairway. She thought about all that had happened before she reached this point, all of the lives lost and the souls she'd had to take. The pain seared her heart and weighed her down, but she pushed it forcefully out of her mind. That was not important now, and now was not the time to grieve or feel guilt. What was important now was one foot in front of the other. That was all that mattered. Each step might take an hour to complete, but each step brought her closer to her goal, and each step was necessary, for there was only one who could stand against the coming darkness. _

_After an age, she finally reached the top of the staircase, and slowly raised her shaky head to gaze upon the golden throne._

_He sat there, watching and waiting, for her arrival. Many had attempted to climb the eternal staircase, but few had ever laid eyes on his seat of power. This child of his was different though. He had known it from the start, and he took actions to protect her and nurture her. This soul was special. While it had taken others many, many millennia to reach the top of the staircase, this soul had accomplished it in one._

_She fell to her knees before him, but she did not loosen the grip on her steel sword. Instead, she appeared to tighten it, and he watched as her blood spilled over the reflective floor he had carved of souls. She didn't cry out. _

_She was magnificent. She was the very embodiment of everything he held dear. She was honorable, she was compassionate, and she defended her charges with the ferocity that was only found in the kings of old. And when the time came to make the hard choices, she chose correctly and overcame her own pain and guilt for the good of the universe. While the rest of her civilization had forgotten what it was to be one of his children, she had kept the spirit of his gifts inside of her. _

_She even took on the beauty of his form, her pale skin and chiseled jaw mirroring his own. Her black hair and eyes were a stark contrast to his platinum ones, but he enjoyed diversity and appreciated her magnificence as it was. He would change nothing about her, his Champion, his Chosen.  
><em>

_He stood, and his massive figure towered over her as he spread his wings and darkened the glass dais with the shadow of his form. She heard his booming voice in her head, welcoming her to the Platinum Halls, and as she looked down at her hands, she found that the sword had changed. It was no longer pale and rusted steel, barely adequate to slice a piece of soft fruit much less cleave a man's skull. It had changed into brilliant platinum, with golden trim and the mark of a snowy wing emblazoned on the hilt. She felt it fairly pulse with power, and as she loosened her grip on the blade, she felt the skin of her left arm tingle. Looking over, she saw the faint outline of what looked like a silver hand.  
><em>

_The sword was nearly identical to the ones she had seen lighting the pathway to her ascension, but it was somehow more detailed. Someone had taken great care in forging this weapon. _

_Her hand was healed, and as she gazed up at him, she felt a something pass through her head. The voice speaking in her mind was indistinct, but she got the feeling it was urging her to complete something. She had been selected for a number of tasks, but she felt certain that there was something very specific he wanted her to do, so that a companion of his could take some sort of action. It was unclear._

_She lifted the sword above her head, and light shot out of the blade as she accepted his assignment, and accepted his gifts._

_It seemed to her that he smiled gently down upon her, and then he lifted himself into the air and took flight, leaving her alone. She stood up and turned around, trying to follow him with her eyes, but he disappeared into the depths of space, leaving her to wonder whether he was ever really there at all. _

_She walked up to the throne, and laid the sword carefully before it. She sat on the glass floor of souls, and gazed at it for an eternity before she felt herself being shaken and pushed by an unseen force. Looking around her, she saw no threat, but the pushing and pulling continued. She grasped the sword and swung wildly at the air, trying to cut through whatever it was that was accosting her. She thought she heard something speaking her name, but her eyes had darkened and she couldn't hear it clearly. _

"_Jane… stop it… Jane…"_

_She stood and held the sword in front of her, looking side to side for the menace. Perhaps he had sent another test for her. Perhaps she was not yet done.  
><em>

"_What are you doing...? Jane… Stop it… There is nothing there…"_

_She swung wildly into the air, hoping beyond to hope to cut down her invisible enemy._

"_No, stop it now! Jane, stop it!"_

_She shook her head and lowered the sword, holding her temple with her free hand. What was happening? _

"_JANE! It is ok! Stop it!"_

* * *

><p>Commander Jane Shepard opened her eyes and looked at the frightened asari gripping her arms. Liara had her pressed against the wall, and was using her biotics to hold the maddened woman in place. Jane had grabbed an electronic controller and was brandishing it as if it was a weapon, and Liara was trying to keep the human from hurting herself.<p>

"Jane, it is ok, it is me. What is wrong?"

Jane dropped the controller, and slumped against the wall as Liara relaxed the biotic field surrounding her. "I don't know, Liara. I have no idea what just happened."

"Are you ok? Come over here and sit down." She led the commander back to the bed and gently encouraged the human to relax once again.

"It was just a bad dream, Liara. I'm sorry I scared you."

The asari looked at the agonized woman and wasn't convinced. "Jane… that was not just a bad dream."

"I'm fine, Liara. I'm just a little out of sorts with all this craziness going on. That's all."

"I could take a look at the memory and maybe help you to understand whatever it was…"

Jane closed her eyes and prayed for strength. This was the one downfall to being in love with a telepathic being: they always wanted to get inside your head. She turned to the asari and took her hands.

"Liara, this was just a bad dream. I've had it a couple times before, but this was the first time that I actually completed it. At least, I think I completed it... I just need some time to process the information. It will be fine. Really."

In truth, Jane didn't think any amount of processing would help her understand _this_ information, but if it would calm Liara down enough to keep her from seeing how nuts her commander was becoming, then the little white lie was worth it. As it was the young scientist still wasn't convinced, but she recognized that she wasn't going to get anywhere with Jane on the subject… at least not for now.

"All right Jane. I will not push you on it, but I want you to know, that you can trust me too." She pulled the human down next to her and snuggled close. "You can trust me too, and I will always be here for you."

Commander Jane Shepard wrapped the asari in her arms, but didn't close her eyes. She couldn't sleep again now if she had wanted to, but luckily, it seemed the gods were to have mercy on her today.

"Commander?" Her pilot's voice invaded her thoughts over the comm.

"Go ahead, Joker."

"Got a call coming through for you from the Embassy. It seems important, and they want to talk to Danger as well."

"That might be a problem, Joker. Danger is in the med bay and there is no knowing whether she will make it through."

"Actually, Commander, I just saw her last night. She looked fine to me."

"You saw her last night? How?"

"She paraded through here half naked. I tried to get her to stay a while, but I don't think I'm her type. It's too bad. She's kinda hot, for a tall girl. You should have seen the look on Williams' face when Danger flashed her."

"She… what?" Jane looked at Liara, but the asari just shrugged. "Where is she now?"

"Hmm… looks like she's in the garages. She probably passed out in the Mako. What do you want me to do with the call?"

"Patch it through to the Comm room, but tell them I need a few minutes."

"You got it, Commander. Joker out."

Jane sat up again and put her head in her hands.

_Does it ever end with Danger? I mean seriously, does it ever end? What could she possibly have been doing on the bridge, half naked?_

"I have to go take care of this, Liara."

"I know, Jane. I will tidy up in here before I leave, and then return to my quarters. You can find me there if you need me."

"Thanks." Jane stood and raked her fingers through her hair a couple of times. She leaned over and kissed the asari on the forehead, and then headed out the door to go collect Danger.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Comm room<strong>

Jane and Danger entered the comm room, and the commander turned to her friend, worried.

"You sure you are up to this? I can tell them you are still in the medbay. You look like hell, Danger. You should have let the doctors finish patching you up. And you shouldn't be running through the ship naked…"

Danger waved her off. "I was naked for like three seconds, Jane, and even you would have laughed at the expression on her face. It was _that _epic. Besides, your doctor did a good enough job. Chakwas got the bones in my hand mostly back where they belong, and the rest will heal up soon enough. See, I'm almost back to my normal color." She showed her arms to her friend, and Jane thought she saw a slight blue hue, but Danger was right. You wouldn't really notice it unless you were looking for it. Her face, on the other hand… That was several shades of dreadful at the moment.

"The burns weren't nearly as serious as she was carrying on they were. I still want to know what the heck hit me, but whatever. I'll be fine, Jane. It's just a busted up face. Udina and Anderson see uglier than this every time they look in the mirror."

"I still think you should see Chakwas again before you leave. She's the best, you know. Take advantage of the medical care, on the Alliance. I saw what you looked like when we carried you out of there, and believe me, it was uglier than usual."

"I'm fine, Jane, but thanks for the thought and the compliment. She did enough, and I don't need her friend poking at me again, or that crazy asari wife of his. I always thought doctors were quacks, but those two take the cake. You should have heard them carrying about religion. I thought they were going to exorcise me or something."

The commander shrugged, rolled her eyes, and walked over to the console to open the com link. "Suit yourself, Danger. I'm sure you are exaggerating and it wasn't that bad. Let's see what the Alliance wants from us."

Captain Anderson came into view as the panel lit up and connected to the Embassy.

"Commander Shepard. It's good to see you."

"Thank you Captain. It's good to see you as well. What is it you wanted to talk to us about?"

Danger slumped in a chair; arms crossed, and stared at the wall. She had no idea what the Alliance wanted with her this time, but she was in no mood to play 'good little soldier' with Jane. Getting beaten, burned alive and nearly raped and exorcised by a pervy old couple could really put you in a bad mood.

"Operative Danger, it's good to see you too."

"Right. What do you want, Captain? Get it over with. As you can see, I'm not feeling particularly pretty today."

Captain Anderson took a breath and thought about how he was going to phrase his question. "Operative Danger, can you explain to me why you abandoned your post?"

Danger looked at the console screen in disbelief. "Abandoned my post? What post? What the hell are you talking about?"

Ambassador Udina, who had been sitting quietly in the background, got up and came to stand next to the captain. Shaking a finger at Danger, he nearly shouted, "You know very well what post you abandoned, and I have been hearing about it every single day you have been out gallivanting around the galaxy with the commander."

"Udina, I'll handle this." Captain Anderson raised a hand to calm the irate diplomat, and then addressed Danger once more. "Operative Danger, why did you abandon your post on Thessia?"

"That's what this is about? Are you serious? First of all," she said, pointing a finger at the console, "I did not abandon my post. I just took a vacation. Second, my post was already abandoned for me. Matriarch Terriana is well protected by her new commando."

"Operative Danger, the matriarch has informed us that you left the world and she has been without protection for three months. She is especially upset that you did not clear the absence with her, and assumed you abandoned your assignment. She has even tossed the word traitor around, though the ambassador was able to talk her out of going to the council with those accusations… for now."

Ambassador Udina interrupted him, "You are singlehandedly destroying all the work I have done to further our relations with the asari! I expect that you have a very good reason for your gross misconduct. "

"Udina, _I'll handle this_! Danger, what's going on?"

Danger leaned back in her chair, mouth agape. She had no idea what was going on. "Three months? I've been gone a week! Captain, I don't know what the hell she is talking about. When I left, she had a commando guarding her. I was out of the picture. I don't even know what to say to that. It was clear my job there was finished, so I left."

Jane eyed her friend worriedly, and addressed the captain. "Listen Captain, Danger came here to help me train the crew a bit. We picked her up on Thessia just last week. When she left, the matriarch had a bodyguard. I don't know what happened in between now and then, but Danger didn't leave her unprotected, and certainly not for that length of time."

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway. You aren't an official part of the Alliance, so even if we did find fault with what you did, there is little we can do to you." Captain Anderson held up a hand to forestall Danger's reply. "No, Danger, I am not angry. We had a feeling she was exaggerating a bit, so don't worry. Your record with the Alliance has been solid. However, the matriarch has been complaining daily for the last week, and we have a request to make of you. There's a way to fix all of this, and get us something we have wanted for a very long time."

_I don't want to fucking hear it. Go jump in a lake. Three months? Maybe she __**doesn't**__ know how to use an Omni-tool…_

"What."

The captain nodded to Ambassador Udina, and the other human continued. "Operative Danger Vance, your presence has been requested on the planet Thessia. We are prepared to offer you a substantial sum, as well as a small ship, if you would accept this job."

"You have to be kidding me."

Jane watched her friend's face carefully. Danger was doing a pretty good job of hiding her emotions behind her black and blue mask, but Jane could tell that her mind was being ripped in a million different directions. She wondered what the mercenary was thinking, and for the first time kind of wished she had the mental powers the asari have. It would surely be interesting to see inside Danger's head right about now.

"Operative Danger, I am not." The man started pacing in a small pattern in front of the console. "Matriarch Terriana has agreed to move a small human colony into a planet currently on the outskirts of asari space. This is a huge opportunity for us, and I cannot tell you how important it will be to ally ourselves with the asari in the coming days. We need to build a partnership, and of all the races currently known, the asari are the most formidable and likely to help us advance our causes."

"I still think you have to be kidding me. I mean… You can't be serious. It's fucking ridiculous."

Jane kicked Danger hard in the shin.

"Ow Jane… Yea, sorry about that last bit, Ambassador. I've been under a bit of… stress… lately."

The man just shook it off. "It's fine, Operative. I understand. We are asking you, as an agent of the Alliance, to return to Thessia as Matriarch Terriana's bodyguard. As I have already stated, the Alliance is willing to compensate you handsomely."

Danger looked at Jane for support, but the commander just shrugged. Looking back at the console she asked, "Can I have a few minutes? Can you at least give me a few minutes here to think about it?"

Ambassador Udina nodded, and Captain Anderson turned off the comm link.

"Wow. That was…. Unexpected."

"Jane, don't be cute. What the hell is she thinking? I mean, do asari really have nothing better to do than to fucking politic and fuck with people all the time? This is ridiculous. Three months? Can she even tell time? Or was she exaggerating for dramatic effect?"

"Look on the bright side, it seems like she wants you back there."

"For fucking what? I don't believe for a second she doesn't have that commando anymore. She must just enjoy tormenting me."

"I don't know." Jane looked thoughtful. "This seems like an awful lot to go through just to cause one human pain. She's taking a big risk, letting us move a colony into their space. You must be important to her, for her to trade something that valuable just to get you back there."

"But Jane, this is so dumb! Of all the ways this could have possibly happened… You should have brought Liara in here. She might have had a clue what this is all about. All Terriana had to do was pick up a comm. Hell, all she had to do was turn on my terminal. It would have immediately contacted me…"

Jane just shook her head. "I doubt Liara would have a clue what is going on, Danger. I don't think anyone has any idea what is going on in that asari's head. So what are you going to do?"

Danger exhaled slowly and thought about it.

_Good fucking question, Jane. What _am_ I going to do? I was getting ready to go out to Omega and get my sin on… Why couldn't she have just… sent a message or something? Why involve the Alliance? This is going to be an even bigger disaster than before. _

"I don't know Jane. How can I go back? What are my duties going to be if I _do_ go back? Things will never be the same as before."

"You won't know that until you get there, but look at it this way. If you are right and she's just doing this for amusement, eventually she'll get bored. When she does, you'll at least have a ship and a bunch more money to impress the whores of Omega with. Seems like the Alliance is always throwing money at you. I still don't see what the big deal is, what with your bashed in face and your idiotic grin."

"Whatever, Jane. You know you want me." Danger buried her bruised and battered face in her hands.

"Who doesn't? You still should consider it. They are probably going to give you one of those tiny, fast ones the turians gave us that we never use. You know, those fighter class ships. You wouldn't have to coordinate with Ned anymore."

"I don't want any of that crap, Jane. They can't bribe me. If I wanted a ship, I'd have a ship." Danger sat back in the chair and looked at the ceiling.

Jane looked at her friend thoughtfully. "No, I don't suppose they can, Danger. But, you want to go back there, don't you? This may not make sense to us mere humans, but clearly Terriana noticed you were gone, and didn't like it. You should at least go back to find out why."

_No, I should do what I told myself to do the first time, and hop the next transport to Omega. That's what I should do…That's definitely what I should do. _

Danger nodded to Jane, and the commander flipped a switch to reopen the link to the human embassy. Shortly, the com flickered back on and Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina came into sight.

"Have you made a decision?" the ambassador asked.

Danger stood and walked over to stand in front of the console. "I have, but I have a few conditions."

The ambassador's face darkened, but he nodded for her to continue.

"First, you can keep your money and your ship. I don't want them."

The two men looked at each other, slightly surprised, but the ambassador nodded. "Very well, Danger. I don't understand why, but if that's the way you want it then fine. The ship and credits will be available should you change your mind. What of your conditions?"

"I want a schedule. I want a specific contract, detailing my hours of operation, and all of my duties. I also want it to be for a specific period of time, say, three years. At the end of which, it can be renegotiated, but I would be under no obligation to do so. That is the only way I will return to Thessia. And," she added as an afterthought, "I need some new hair ties."

Captain Anderson hid a chuckle behind his hand, and Udina glared at him.

"I think I can work something out, Operative Danger," the ambassador replied. "Commander Shepard, I understand you have a mission to prepare for and you do not need to be here for the mundane details."

Jane saluted, and then grasped her friend on the shoulder. "Ambassador, Captain. I'll talk to you both later on, when I have something to report."

"I'll see you in a little bit, Jane. Thanks for everything." She stood and embraced her friend, and then sat down in a chair to discuss the details of her new contract with the human diplomat.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters, sometime later<strong>

"So you are going back to Thessia then." Jane couldn't help but feel a little sad. She had really enjoyed the time with Danger and the crew, despite getting kidnapped and chained to a chair and slithering through greasy ventilation ducts. All things considered, it was a pretty good week.

"I guess I am, but not right away. I told them I needed another few days here."

"Punishing Terriana?"

"Maybe a little. I mean, I don't want to seem too eager, right? But there's something else, too. I need to give something to Tali, something important and special. I also figure I can help out with getting the ship prepped, and there are some other things I have for your Mako that I want to show Garrus how to use before I bail."

Jane eyed her friend suspiciously. "Tali, huh? I thought we talked about this?"

Danger stared blankly at Jane. "You know, you and Liara really need to just get on with it. I swear sex is the only thing on your mind these days. You really need to get laid, Jane."

Jane just scratched the back of her head, and then looked at her hand in horror. _I'm picking up too many of her habits…_

The mercenary leaned back in the chair she occupied and crossed her arms. "No, Jane, that's not what I am passing onto Tali. I was going through some of my datapads and I came across an old project I had been working on. It's in an archaic language, one that humans haven't used in a century. One day I was bored and looking up history and I thought it would be a good idea to play with it a little and see what I could do with it."

The mercenary leaned forward in her chair and looked unusually somber.

"This language was the most popular at the time when we were first getting into really building robotics. There were years of debates on the technology, how to use it, whether to use it, when to use it, and it just seemed to last forever and ever. No one could ever make a decision whether to move forward with governmental funding for development. So the only scientists who ever really made use of it were hobbyists, and even those folks never really tapped into the potential. Private companies played with it, but mostly just to create low level machines to repeat tedious tasks. They never really delved into seriously developing it."

"I don't understand what this has to do with Tali, or you needing more time with her."

"Well, the debate went on for so long that by the time they decided to move ahead, new languages had been developed and this one was just dismissed. Technology works like that, out with the old, in with the new. Well, I got hold of it and started building things, and I never really thought about it until looking at it a second time, after meeting Tali."

"Danger, you still aren't making any sense. What are you talking about?"

"Jane, believe me when I tell you, we were this close to being the quarians ourselves. Tali showed me some of the code they used when programming the geth and this language is eerily similar. If our bureaucrats hadn't spent all their time arguing the religious ramifications of advancing the technology, we might be on a migrant fleet too. There are bugs that were corrected in later developments of the language, and we never took the technology to the level the quarians did, luckily, but it's still scary to see how close we were to disaster. I want to show her this and teach her the language. It might give her some insight. It can't hurt, anyway. It should only take a couple days to teach it to her. She's a smart one."

Jane stared at Danger. "You really do care about her, don't you?"

"Well, I think I care about all your crew, Jane, not just Tali. I told you once I didn't think either of us were getting 'that' vibe, and I meant it, so quit bringing it up. Tali is great, and a year ago who knows, but I'm in… I have other obligations at the moment. I just want to help her out. The quarians are just so… they don't deserve what happened to them. They deserve to reclaim their planet and cast off those ridiculous suits. It's not fair."

"Right. I know what you mean." Jane sat there, thoughtful. It suddenly occurred to her that she knew very little about the mercenary's personal life, and it kind of bothered her. "Danger, have you ever been in love? You know, before Terriana?"

Danger looked at her friend and grinned. "Only with you, Janie. But you brokeded my heart!"

Shepard aimed a kick at her friend's shin, and Danger fell to the floor in laughter.

"Danger, you're such an ass. Be serious."

"Ha, Jane you are so predictable." Danger got back into her chair and leaned back. "You know… I don't think I have. That's probably why this was such a shock. None of it makes sense to me. I guess it just never really occurred to me as something I'd really want to do, until…"

Danger couldn't finish the sentence. She was still confused about what was going on with Terriana, and though the ache in her heart was starting to lessen, it was still there.

"Jane, I feel like I'm just walking straight back into the jaws of the lion. I'm purposely reopening old wounds, and I have absolutely no clue as to why. Something is calling me back there, though. I am supposed to be there. I don't know why, but I'm supposed to be there." She scratched at her back, which had suddenly developed a strange itch right at the base.

"Are you sure, Danger? You know I could probably get you assigned here as a mechanic. I'm sure that Adams would enjoy having another lady down in engineering with him. You don't have to go back, and you don't have to go to Omega."

"Jane, I appreciate the offer, but we both know that wouldn't work out. It would only be a matter of time before the Alliance tried to recruit me, and besides, I already agreed to this new arrangement. No, I have to go back to Thessia. You were right earlier. I have to know."

"So what did you put in the contract?"

"The usual. My salary, my hours, visits late at night in the garden are off limits, sex allowed only on Thursdays. Nothing special."

"You didn't seriously put that in there, did you?"

"No, but I did consider it. I changed it to Wednesday. That's a better day for me than Thursday, anyway. The Commando trains Thursday mornings and she is especially vicious come the evening, so sex with her that night for sure. I have to keep my Fridays and Saturdays open for random Justicars passing through. You know they like to occasionally stop by the planet to get their asses kissed by their adoring fans, and even they need some lovin every now and again. The rest of the days are for maidens. I don't want to give those up. I have to keep my priorities straight, after all."

"You're impossible."

"Yea, but could you imagine how awesome my life would be if she actually agreed to a contract like that? Talk about the career of a lifetime. I was tempted to put it in there just to see what she would do. Well, my contract is good enough, anyway. I guard her trips off world and any meetings she takes on Thessia, and pretty much the rest of my time is mine. I figure I'll build a couple new rovers while I'm there. It should work out well. I just need to lay the ground rules when I get back, but I'll have a sit down with Rolus and let him handle all that. I'm not going to just be at her beck and call this time around."

"Good. You deserve better than to get walked all over, and I don't think I ever told you that. You've been a good friend to me, and to Liara, and to my crew. You deserve the best, Darla, and I hope that before the end, she sees what a treasure you are."

"Wow Jane, where the hell did all that come from?"

"Let's just say that over the last few weeks I have learned that time can run out at any moment. I don't want to waste it anymore, leaving things unsaid."

"You're not going to like, take me in your arms and ravage me are you? Cause I'm saving myself for someone you know."

Jane kicked her friend in the shin again.

"Owwww, stop it Jane! That's it, I'm gonna tell Liara on you!"

"Ash was right. You **are** 12."

Danger grinned. "Yea, maybe. Listen I'm going to head down to the garages and get Tali started on this code. Thanks, for everything Jane."

"Anytime, Danger. Oh, one last thing. I better tell you before I forget. Your safe house was compromised. You need to get a new one. "

"What?"

"I don't know the details, but Liara said someone followed you to it."

"Great. Well, those aren't hard to replace. Hm… That actually reminds me… Jane, did you guys take out Red?"

Jane thought about it. They had killed a number of guards while rescuing Danger, but now that she thought about it, it wasn't nearly as hard as it should have been. None of the men they had killed looked like the pirate, either.

"I'm not sure, Danger. I don't think so."

Danger shook her head and cursed beneath her breath. "He's a coward. He would have jumped ship the second the alarm signaling intruders was sounded. Shit. That means he's still out there. Watch your back, Jane. I doubt he will take on the Alliance, but if I were you, I'd stay out of dark titty bars like the Den for a while."

"What are you going to do?"

"Well, there's not much I _can_ do. I can't go tracking him down, not now. Maybe the matriarch will only keep me for a few years, and then I can go my own way and clean up this mess before retiring."

"Do you think he will come after you again?"

"He might, but not while I'm in asari space. He's not that stupid and seriously Jane, I might make jokes, but no one fucks with those Justicars. Bandits steer clear of asari territory, especially weak scum like Jacob Red. For now, I guess we can forget about him. Just stay on your toes."

"All right, Darla. If I hear anything I'll let you know. It was good seeing you again." The commander embraced her friend, and watched as Danger turned and walked out of the room.

_It __**was **__good seeing you, Danger. And I'll always be here for you. Maybe after this mission I'll go deal with Red myself. The Justicars aren't the only ones who can fly about the galaxy righting wrongs, now that I'm a Spectre._

Commander Jane Shepard turned and sat at her console, glad that she finally had a chance to really tell the mercenary how much she appreciated her friendship. Now it was time to take care of another task she had been meaning to do.

She turned on the console and started putting together a report about Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams.


	41. Chapter 40: long goodbye short farewell

**Chapter 40: A long goodbye and a short farewell**

**-Citadel, The Flux**

Danger gazed at her surroundings and smiled serenely. It was the last day of her "vacation", and she had dragged Jane and Liara out to the bar for one last hurrah. The past three days of her stay had been spent pouring over old digital textbooks and notes, teaching Tali the ancient human language that had reminded the mercenary of the geth's programming. It was fun work and she didn't mind getting to hang out with the brilliant quarian, but after days of nothing but spaghetti code and algorithms, she was more than ready for a few drinks. She raised her glass, and leaned back in her chair to enjoy it.

She thought about the quarian, and how much fun it had been to hang out with someone who understood and loved the things she did. Tali had picked the language up almost immediately, and they spent the rest of the hours trying to combine bits of the quarian code with bits of the programs she had made. It was the most fun Danger had ever had sober. In the end, they didn't come up with anything particularly useful, but it was still progress toward figuring out a way to shut down the geth forever, and the two hackers enjoyed the last bit of time they had together.

Now, the mercenary was sitting in a booth with what she considered to be her two best friends in the world, just slowly sipping a popular Earthen drink commonly referred to as ale.

"I'm going to miss this place, Jane."

Jane scanned the room. "The bar? Surely there are bars on Thessia."

"Yea, but all they drink there is wine. It's disgusting, really, and I'm not entirely convinced it isn't poisonous to us."

"It is not poisonous, Danger." Liara interrupted. "It is just an acquired taste."

"Right. Is pizza an acquired taste?"

"Well, no…"

"That's because it tastes good, no matter what species you are. That wine is disgusting. Terriana tried to feed it to me one night. I swear the woman is trying to kill me. I'm sure she was using it to mask the rat poison she put in the food, but I'm onto her. It's a miracle I'm still alive. Thank all the gods for Rolus' wife. She's a human, you know. I have to escape to their apartments just to get some decent food."

Jane looked at her friend and laughed. She knew Danger was exaggerating, but she was happy that it seemed like the mercenary was starting to cheer up again. Mentioning Terriana the way she did was certainly a good sign. It was clear that Danger was pleased at returning to the asari home world, even if she wouldn't come out and admit the real reason why. That asari brought something different out in the mercenary, and it was something Jane was glad to see. She looked around the room again.

"I'm sure she wasn't trying to kill you, Danger."

"She was. And she would have succeeded too if I hadn't seen the poison in the kitchens just the day before. There it was: a huge sack of some sort of white powder. It was clearly meant to take out targets about my size. I had sneaked down there to grab a snack. These asari don't eat like we do, Jane. She was trying to starve me."

"So first she was trying to poison you, and then she tried to starve you?" Jane glanced behind them and then looked at Liara. "I thought asari took the direct approach when making someone disappear." Liara just shrugged.

"It is possible that the matriarch wants to handle the matter quietly. She _is_ a very important political figure, you know. How would it look if she were to stab Danger or, maybe shoot her? Very messy. That would get a lot of bad press."

Danger slammed her hand on the table. "Damn it Liara, don't make suggestions like that. She might even have me bugged. Don't give her ideas!"

Jane and Liara looked at each other, then at the grinning mercenary, and the three of them burst into laughter.

Jane wiped a tear from her eye and put her hand over her friend's. "It was good having you here, Danger. This was a lot of fun. You really helped my crew a lot, and I feel like we're finally ready now to get on with the mission."

"Hey Jane, what are friends for if not to hook you up with whores? Don't be a stranger this time, either. We shouldn't go months at a clip without talking. It's just not healthy for our relationship you know. You never know when someone is going to snatch me up. I'm a pretty good catch. You better make a move and fast."

"Right, Danger." She rolled her eyes and scanned the room for the fourth time. She was a little on edge since their last time visiting a bar, but Danger had insisted they come out for a drink before she left. "You don't see anyone suspicious, do you?"

Danger shook her head. "I see some religious nuts proselytizing, but nothing overtly suspicious." She gestured behind her to a group of asari dressed in dark robes, passing out pamphlets.

"I know what you are worried about. He won't come after me again so soon, and this bar isn't the kind of place that lets random packs of commandos hang about and drag people out the back door without a _really_ good reason. Relax, Jane. I'm back to being myself again now, mostly. I put out some feelers to see if anyone has seen Red. He will turn up eventually. Shit always floats to the top, right? Speaking of shit, Tattoo sends his regards, Liara."

The asari nodded.

"Tattoo? Is there something I should know about?" Jane looked at the two of them suspiciously, recalling the name vaguely through the haze that clouded the years.

_It can't be the same one… _

Liara shook her head. "He contacted me when you and Danger were kidnapped. I did not spend much time with him. He simply gave me a name, and suggested where they might have taken you. The rest Tali and Garrus figured out. If I had not met him, we may not have found you in time, Jane."

"I had a feeling he was your source. He dropped some hints and stuff like that, probably trying to get off my shit list. He isn't necessarily a _bad_ dude, but he definitely was mixed up in some questionable activities back in the day. I wouldn't trust him, Liara. He may have done this out of some twisted sense of honor or debt repayment to me for saving his kid all those years ago, but he's the kind that will switch sides in a heartbeat if the price is right. Just… don't get too tangled with those kinds of folk. Information brokers are your friends until they aren't anymore, and sometimes the questions you ask are more dangerous than the answers they provide."

"When did you start talking in riddles, Danger?" Jane studied her friend, wondering what kind of jobs the mercenary had done during the long years she had spent alone. She never really asked, and as with just about everything else, Danger rarely offered up information.

The mercenary just threw her head back and laughed. "I'm just passing along words of wisdom that were passed to me. Information is a funny thing. It's not like weapons or slaves or tangible stuff like that. Physical things are easy to put value on, and easy to trace. Words… not so much. You ask one seemingly innocuous question, and all of a sudden you are smack in the middle of some major conspiracy against some big corporation and every merc within a hundred light years is gunning for your head. You know… I've heard." Danger scratched the back of her neck and tried to look innocent.

"Right... So what are your plans after this?"

"Ned is still here. Since we never got to play the last war game, he has just been hanging out and getting wasted with his crew. I still paid him you know. It wasn't his fault we got kidnapped, it was mine. So they have been living it up for the last few days, on me. I don't mind. I figure I'll spend another day or two here getting drunk with them, and then head back to Thessia… slowly. There are a few places I can visit on the way."

"Are you serious? I thought you would be in a hurry to get back there."

"Well... I kinda am, but I should probably start acting a little more like a mercenary and a little less like a high schooler with a crush. Mercenaries show up when they feel like it, and they leave the second the credstick is in their hands. They don't hang about, guarding things that are already well-protected, and they don't fall in… Well there are just a lot of things they don't do. I'm still not sure how everything is going to work out with that commando, but I can promise you that this time I won't be so naive. This time I know the score, Jane. So far it's Terriana 1, Danger 0, but that's about to change. This is just another job to me now."

"If you are so adamant about this being just a 'job', why didn't you take what the Alliance offered you?" Jane looked quizzically at the mercenary, wondering what was going on in the woman's head. She was half tempted to see if Liara would be willing to poke around in there a little… Surely there would be interesting bits of information floating about in Danger's mess of a mind that even the honorable and moral asari couldn't resist…

"I don't know. Udina said it would be there if I changed my mind, so it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'm hurting for it or anything, Jane. I still have plenty of time to decide. We'll see." She finished her drink and put her coaster on top of it. "I'm going to head back to the ship and get my things packed." She got up and walked over to the bartender, handing over her credstick and gesturing to the table the three had occupied, indicating she was covering whatever her friends wanted. Then, she gave Jane her best impression of an Alliance salute, and left the bar.

Jane looked at Liara, but the asari was watching Danger leave. The commander started tracing around the rim of her glass with her left forefinger. "So, are you going to tell me about this… Tattoo character?"

Liara looked back at Jane. "There is nothing to tell. I went looking for you and Danger, and he had apparently been tailing her for some time."

"Why was he tailing her?"

"He did not really say. I assumed it had to do with this Jacob Red person. Who is he?"

"I don't know, Liara. He's apparently just some guy that Danger pissed off, but I mean he's only one of probably thousands over the years. Still, this one was mad enough to try and get revenge, and he's probably still out there. I hope she's right about him staying out of asari space."

"I am going to miss her."

Jane smiled sadly and took Liara's hands. She stared in the direction Danger had been walking and nodded. "Yea, I'm going to miss the grinning idiot too, but she has to do this you know. She's been absolutely miserable here, and I don't know if you've noticed, but she seems a little happier now that she's headed back to Thessia."

"Of course I noticed, Jane. Her aura has shifted heavily, almost back to where it was when we met her and Terriana here for drinks. Almost…"

"Good. I'm not going to pretend I know what is going on with the two of them, but it's clear they are miserable without each other. I still can't believe the matriarch is offering Udina space on an asari world. I hope he doesn't screw it up."

"I am sure it will be fine, Jane. Our species are well suited to one another." She smiled warmly at the commander, and Jane nodded her agreement.

Jane motioned to the waitress to bring her another round. "Can I have a menu too? Thanks."

She turned to Liara. "Are you hungry? We might as well eat, since Danger is paying. I'm sure that she is going to take her time packing and ten to one, Garrus and Tali are hanging around the Mako. Those three will be chatting for at least another hour before we have to worry about her leaving."

"Yes, that is good idea." She scooted next to the human to get a better look at the menu, and they both indicated to the waitress their orders.

"Great. I wanted to ask you more about… Well about that whole thing with Danger getting burned and the biotics. You said something about your goddess, but we never really had a chance to talk about it."

Liara inhaled deeply, and wondered where to begin. She knew more about the subject than she really cared to, thanks to her mother, but she didn't want to give the human the impression she actually believed in any of it.

"Jane, it is really hard to say what it was that happened to Danger. My mother taught religion and philosophy, and she appeared to be a firm believer in Athame, but I always thought it was just a big show. There are so few among us now who actively and openly worship the goddess. It fell out of style, so to speak, millennia ago, when we started developing technology in earnest. By the time we reached the Citadel, asari outside of Thessia had all but forgotten her very name."

"Yea, what about those," Jane started to gesture to the group of maidens who had been handing out pamphlets outside the bar, but they were gone. "Well, they were there." Liara nodded.

"There are of course, groups like that all over the galaxy. It is mostly the young ones, who are looking for something to believe in or something to give them purpose. Not all of us follow that path, though. I never understood why my mother, who was so wise, spent so much time pouring over the old texts dealing with legends of Athame."

"You don't believe in her."

"I… No I do not. At least, I do not think that she is as the legends say. It is possible she was simply a kind and compassionate woman who once walked among our people and performed great works, and eventually she was elevated to deity status. I never really spent much time worrying about it. My mother taught me the legends, and let me make my own choice. I am more interested in the Protheans, and they do not really have much to do with Athame."

"Tell me about these legends. Are there any of her burning people alive?"

Liara nodded. "There is one legend, but it is unclear and no one believes it is ever to be an actual event. There is a story in ancient texts, telling of a soul that will be able to stand in the presence of the goddess' full fury, and channel her powers. The burning is just a side effect, and legend has it that if the soul survives, she will be marked by the goddess as her consort, and upon her death, she will ascend to the black halls and sit by the side of Athame for the rest of eternity. The Goddess herself will bear daughters, and her new brood will capture moons as their thrones and rule the skies, bringing a hundred thousand years of peace and prosperity to the asari. It is just a child's fairy tale, though. It encourages young maidens to strive for excellence that they might someday be the chosen of Athame. I do not think that even the zealots take it seriously."

"You said something about special bloodlines. What is that all about?"

Liara took a breath and continued. "That legend tells of one soul, but there are many others of Athame falling in love with various asari over the years and descending from her throne to mate with them. The stories regarding the progeny of these unions range from relatively benign to absolutely ridiculous and it would take me years to tell you all of them. Some of our people say that Athame would take a mate once per millennia, and others still think she visits our people regularly, spreading her seed across the land, forever adding new traits to our kind. However, no one has claimed to have actually seen her in seven hundred years."

"Tell me about that. What happened?"

"There was once a group of young asari maidens who had been spending a lot of time misbehaving and causing no end of trouble to their village. The six of them were restless, and wanted to travel to the stars, but they were still too young to be considered for any flight crews and so they occupied themselves with getting into mischief. One night they raided a local warehouse and stole some wine, and then gathered in a field near a small compound where a lone woman lived tending her pets. They often came to this spot because the woman never left her house, and it was far enough from the rest of the village that no one would come out there to bother them. The six of them built a fire and drank the wine, talking late into the night."

She cleared her throat and continued.

"It was clear and bright, and the moon was full. The sky was peaceful, and one by one they laid down in the grass and gazed up at the stars. As they beheld the dotted velvet blanket covering the planet, wishing that they were on a starship exploring the galaxy, they noticed a shadow pass across the brilliant night sky. They all sat up to see where it went, and legend says that the figure they saw was that of a winged demon descending upon on the house and entering through the crystalline window. They were emboldened by the liquor they had imbibed, and crept closer to investigate. They heard screams coming from inside the house, and fearing that the villager was in danger; they broke down the door and entered. When the six arrived at the topmost room, they found the woman cradling a newborn, and the goddess kneeling over the two, wrapping them in her massive wings."

"What happened to the six asari?"

"The legend says that the goddess touched each one on the head with one of her six hands, and proclaimed them honored daughters and guardians of her brood. She then left the woman and child in their care, and departed the planet to attend a meeting of the Pantheon. They took up positions around the small compound and defended it for the next five hundred and seventy five years, until the mother died, and the child, in her grief, flew over the moon and disappeared into space, never to be seen again. The legend says that Athame returned shortly thereafter, and was so heartbroken when she found her love had died and her child had run away that she made it rain over the village for a century. She then gathered the six who had given over half their lives to guard her family, and ascended back into the heavens with them. None of them were ever seen again."

"That's a heck of a legend, Liara."

"It is just a tale. Nobody actually believes that it rained over one village for a century, or that six asari guarded a house with no food, drink, or sleep for half a millennia. It is just a beautiful story that someone came up with and somehow it managed to get penned into some theology books. Humans have similar tales, do they not?"

Jane nodded. It was true. Her people had stories just as wild and exotic about angels and demons, and Jane really shouldn't have been surprised that the asari did too.

"Thanks for telling me that, Liara, but I don't think I'm any closer to really understanding what happened to Danger."

"I am sure it was just something to do with her trying to use biotics without her amp. Remember, humans are still new to the technology. We asari mastered it long ago."

Jane wasn't convinced. "Liara, you saw that hole. That wasn't a human's barely competent use of light biotics. Something big made that happen."

Liara shrugged. "Maybe, but we already are having a hard enough time convincing the council to take action. Do you really think that going in there with stories of Athame will win their support? Jane, I grew up in a religious household and was taught nearly everything there is to know about the goddess, and even I find the idea a little hard to swallow."

"No, I suppose we can't go to them with wild tales about asari gods." Jane leaned back in her seat and threw her napkin down on the plate. "I'm sure you are right. I mean, what the heck could a goddess want with an idiot like Danger anyway?" She laughed, and then pushed away from the table. "We had better get going. I want to see Danger off." She held out a hand and Liara allowed the human to help her out of the seat.

Jane thought about her dream, and Liara's stories, as she tossed a few cred notes on the table for the waitress and led the asari away.

_I don't know Liara; a few years ago I might have thought things like Prothean Beacons and Conduits and ships that can control thoughts were just fairy tales as well or possibly just the imaginings of a madman. All of a sudden though, it seems like our worst nightmares are coming to life. And you know what? It might not be that bad an idea to have a couple gods on our side... not a bad idea at all._

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Comm room<strong>

Jane and Liara entered the Normandy, and noticed that the bridge was almost completely silent.

"Joker, what's going on?"

"Everyone is in the comm room saying goodbye to Danger, Commander."

She nodded. Of course everyone would have gathered for this. Ashley probably coordinated it. She nodded to Liara to go ahead and turned to Joker. "You want to come say goodbye too?"

"You bet I do. It's just… You know."

"Yea, I know Joker," she said as she wrapped his arm around her neck and helped the man walk toward the comm room.

"She's really great you know. You should see some of the vids she set up for me. Real classy stuff."

"Joker, I really don't want to know…"

"Sure, you say that now, but after you watch it once, you wonder how you ever survived without it!"

"I'll take your word for it." She punched in the sequence to open the comm room doors, and had to step back as people practically fell out of the small room.

"Ow, damn it what's going on in here? Ash, can you come help Joker for a second?" the gunnery chief pushed her way through the sea of humanity, and took Joker's arm from the commander.

"I had no idea we even had this many crew members, Commander."

"I don't think we do gunny. I don't recognize half these people." She took a stance right in front of the doors and switched to her 'commander' voice. "All right folks, party's over. Time to get out of here. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here!"

Slowly, people started filing out of the room, all of them shaking Danger's hand or slapping her on the back as they walked by. Jane watched them all leave, and when all that was left was the core crew, she, Ashley, and Joker walked in. The commander turned around, and set a lock on the door to dissuade any of Danger's admirers from trying to get back into the room.

The mercenary slumped down in a seat next to Tali, and breathed a sigh of relief. She had always hated long goodbyes, and this one was shaping up to be one of the worst. The entire crew had turned out to see her off, even some of the humans who ran the various stations around the ship she had never even met. Handshake after handshake, hug after hug, it never seemed to end. A couple of them even tried to make out with her, but luckily Jane managed to calm them all down and get everyone out of the room but the core crew group.

Danger looked around at each of them, and her heart ached. She wanted to stay, but she knew she had to go. She _had_ to do this, and she had already given Jane pretty much all the help she could. The Mako was running better than ever, and she had passed on as much mechanical knowledge as she could to Garrus in the short time they had together. There wasn't much more she could do. Jane already had plenty of muscle that was far better trained and ready for war time than the covert operative. Danger's job here was done, and it was time for her to go home.

_Yes, it's time for me to go home. I can almost convince myself it really was just a little vacation, and she will be waiting for me with open arms…_

Danger stood and picked up her bag. "Everyone, this has really been great and I hope I get to see you all again before you get yourselves killed. You are really the best crew in the universe, and if Jane ever gives you a hard time, you call me and I'll straighten her out."

Jane aimed a kick at her friend's shin, but there was barely any force behind it. She was focusing more on trying to keep her eyes dry.

"Danger, why don't we take everyone to the Mako and get a group holo to remember this by?" Jane asked.

"That's a great idea! Let's get down there!" Danger led them out of the comm room and slowly made her way down to the garages. She looked around at the ship as she walked, and felt a brief pang of regret at taking this job.

_You know, it would have been nice to serve on this starship with Jane. I could have hung out with Tali and Garrus all the time, and filled my days with nothing but machine code. Who knows, maybe in a year or two Tali and I could have cracked the geth wide open. I guess I'll just have to settle for messages during off duty hours. _

They arrived at the garages, and she dropped her bag next to the vehicle. She and Garrus helped Joker get seated on the hood, and the rest of the crew, except for Tali and Garrus, took up positions along the roof of the machine. Danger leaned up against the side of the car and grinned. Garrus opened the passenger side door to reveal DIDI, and then sat down in the vehicle next to the AI. Tali took up a position on the human's left, between her and Garrus. Jane placed her Omni-tool on some cargo crates, pushed a few buttons, and then ran back to Danger's right. The mercenary wrapped her arm around her friend's shoulder, gave the thumbs up to the Omni-tool with her other hand, and the crew of the Normandy smiled widely as the moment was forever immortalized in digital form.

"Well… I guess that's it, Danger…" Jane said, as they all started moving again.

"I guess so, Jane. It's time for me to get going."

Danger hugged each of the crew members, as they left the garages and went back to their various duties.

Ashley and Joker were first, and the gunnery chief swiped at her eyes as she stepped back.

"Jane's right about you, Chief. You really are a great soldier. They will realize it before the end."

"Thanks, Danger."

"Joker, you really are the best in the fleet. I hope you make good use of those navigational tweaks, and the new… instructional… vids."

Joker grinned widely at the mercenary. "You bet I will, Danger. You come back here anytime. You're welcome in my cockpit day or night." He threw his arm back around Ashley, and they made their way back up to the bridge.

Danger threw her head back and laughed. "Yea, I bet. Take care of yourself, Joker."

Kaidan was next. "Thanks again for saving my niece, Danger."

"Don't mention it, Kaidan… like, ever again…"

"Right, I didn't mean to… Yea. Sorry."

"Nevermind." She wrapped her arms around the man's neck and squeezed him tightly. She whispered in his ear, "That Williams is one hot piece of ass. You should totally tap that, bro."

Kaidan pulled away blushing.

"Ha, go get her, Lieutenant." She gave him her best impression of an Alliance salute, and watched him walk away.

Wrex stepped up to her next, and for a second she was worried he would attack her if she tried to hug him. But, she threw her arms around his massive neck anyway, and said, "You will find your way, Wrex. Now that you've seen what's really going on out here, you can lead your people into a better life."

The krogan nodded, and stepped back. "Perhaps you humans aren't as weak as we thought. There is strength and courage in your kind." He glanced at the commander, then back at Danger, and walked out of the room.

Liara fairly threw herself into Danger's arms, knocking the human back a few steps. "Gosh Liara, calm down!" She put her arms around the asari, and whispered, "You know, you really have Jane in a knot. Don't you think it's about time you threw her a bone, and you know, sealed the deal?"

Liara closed her eyes and nodded into the human's shoulder. Mentally, she sent a message and hoped the human received it.

_I know, Danger, and I am working on it. You do not have to worry about Jane. I am in love with her, and I will take care of her while you are gone. _

Danger pulled away and smiled at the young woman. "Good. Jane is lucky as hell to have someone like you."

Liara brushed her hand across Danger's cheek, and then left the garages. She figured Jane would want time alone with her friend, and she needed to go see the gunnery chief about upgrading her weapons anyway.

Finally, Garrus and Tali walked up to her. She embraced Garrus first. "You are the best guy I've ever met, Garrus. You know, if I wasn't already with, and well, didn't already lean toward… you know… that too… and like, the whole interspecies thing… well we might have really been something."

Garrus laughed and squeezed his human friend tightly. "Thanks for all that you taught us, Danger. This car is running better than ever, and I can't wait to get her out in the field again."

"Not a problem. I'm happy to help."

Tali walked up to her next, and Danger's breath slightly caught as they both hesitated a little. The mercenary studied the quarian, and wished, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, that she could see inside that mask. It seemed like the environment within was darker than usual, and she couldn't make out the young woman's facial expressions. She stood there and stared for a few minutes, and then suddenly reached out and pulled the young engineer close.

"I'm going to miss you most of all, Tali."

The quarian just nodded, and held onto the human. After a few moments, Danger heard Jane clear her throat, and knew it was time to leave. She held Tali for a second longer, and then let her go. She picked up her bag, nodded to her two hacker friends, and turned to exit the Normandy with Jane, ready to start the next chapter in her life.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Garages<strong>

Tali leaned against the Mako and watched the human mercenary walk away. She tapped on her Omni-tool thoughtfully, and then punched in a short message. It was received almost immediately, and the human stopped, quickly read it, and turned around. Danger stood there looking at her for a few moments, and then saluted the quarian from the bottom of the exit ramp, a sad smile on her lips and tears in her eyes. Tali just watched the human's face as the door slowly lifted and closed itself, finally hiding the motionless extraction specialist from her view. She nodded to herself, and then turned back to the equipment she and Garrus had laid out on the roof of the Mako.

"So… what do you think of that Danger character?" Garrus asked her.

"I think she's brilliant. She would make a fine gift to the flotilla. I could end my pilgrimage right now, take her home with me and live happily ever after. I'm sure they would make an exception for someone with her knowledge."

"Since when do you bat for the other team?" he asked, grinning.

"I don't actually. Well, at least I don't think I do. But you have to admit, Danger is a very… unique and interesting individual."

"Yea," he agreed. "You know, it's too bad I didn't meet her first. That asari doesn't know what she threw away."

"Hmph. It's too bad_ I_ didn't meet her first. You wouldn't have stood a chance anyway."

"You're probably right. All the good ones are either taken or not interested, right?"

"Right. Look at this," Tali said, showing Garrus her Omni-tool. "Can you believe that she increased the efficiency on this program tenfold by just flipping this bit?"

Garrus looked over at the program and shook his head. "Who would have thought of that? She bypassed the need for at least fifteen loops. I'm not sure it's the way I would have gone… Who wants to do extra work every time you update? But still… yea, I see the value."

"I might just kidnap her to the flotilla anyway. To hell with her asari. They are the scourge of the universe. They wander about, leaving broken hearts in their wake and never even realize they are causing actual pain to living people. There's just too many of them. They are arrogant and completely oblivious to their effect on everyone, and when they are around no one else stands a chance. And they are _always_ around…"

"I dare you to kidnap her."

Tali leaned up against the Mako and stared at the ceiling thoughtfully. "No, she is in love with that asari. You can see it in her eyes. There is no room for anyone else, not at the moment, anyway. I will have to continue my pilgrimage, but," she tapped her Omni-tool, "at least I have increased my knowledge base. This data might help correct our mistakes with the geth."

Garrus just nodded. "Yea. I hope that everything works out for her."

"I do, too. Well… sort of. Anyway, let's get back to these new upgrades. I am curious to try out some of her bit flipping techniques on this new specialty hardware. "

"Right."

They turned to get back to work on installing the new parts in the Mako. Garrus wanted the machine in top shape for the commander's next operation, and he was working especially hard after hearing about the weapons failure during the gunnery chief's rescue mission. He blamed himself for not testing the weaponry thoroughly, and it didn't matter to him that Danger had planned it and planted the ammunition where he and Tali would buy it. It was still his responsibility, and he was going to make it up to the commander.

"So, what did you tell her, anyway?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"Don't be coy with me, Tali. I saw you send that message. What did you tell her?"

"Oh. I just told her if it didn't work out with that matriarch, the migrant fleet could always use another hacker."

Garrus smiled. "I knew it. You know, those masks don't hide everything."

"No, perhaps they don't. Here, hold this." She handed him an alligator clip attached to a grounding wire, and then opened an electronics panel on the Mako. The two of them looked at each other, and then fell against the side of the car in hysterics as DIDI roared to life and demanded to know what they were doing under her skirts.


	42. Chapter 41: The not so triumphant return

**Chapter 41: The not so triumphant return**

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessian Temple, undisclosed location<strong>

"M'lady, my report."

The woman sat motionless on a simple chair carved of stone, and barely glanced at the parchment that was offered to her. Her face was nearly as cold and impassive as the dusky marble she sat upon, and after a few moments' time, she turned her icy stare to the priestess kneeling before her. She was the head of the Obsidian Order and news had reached her of a possible sighting, so she had granted this audience. But, such a thing had not happened in over seven hundred years, and she was understandably skeptical.

"This had better not be another one of your ridiculous witch hunts, Lirilith. We have not yet recovered from the last fiasco in which you were certain that a butterfly tattoo you glimpsed on the buttock of a sunbathing maiden was the mark of Athame."

The woman lowered her head, accepting the rebuke. "I understand, M'Lady. This is different." She placed the parchment on the ground next to her and leaned forward, placing both hands on the silent and cold stone beneath her knees. "M'Lady, this _is _the mark of Athame, and I offer now to show it to you."

For an almost imperceptibly short second, the stone cold woman's face registered shock. It was not often that such an offer was made. The asari had determined long ago to take each other at their word, lest they spiral into madness and tyranny; demanding telepathic proof for every minor transgression. It was more seldom still for a priestess to willingly offer up access of her mind to a superior member of the clergy, lest something be found that would disqualify her from further service in the Order. This may not be a genuine sighting, but this priestess certainly thought it extremely important.

"Very well then." The high priestess of the Obsidian Order closed her eyes and pushed into Lirilith's mind, without warning. She spent nearly a day poking through the memories, looking for any falsification or any indication that it had been tampered with. She was not gentle with her subordinate, and she could feel the woman writhing on the ground in pain, sweating and bleeding, as she forced her way through the deepest and darkest corners of the wretch's psyche. To the woman's credit, she did not cry out, and the nameless asari was secretly impressed. Still, the matriarch had offered up examination of her thoughts, and though the high priestess did not delight in inflicting pain, she was required by the laws of their faith to ensure the information was genuine.

After a time, she was satisfied, and withdrew from the tormented and miserable woman's mind.

Lirilith slowly raised herself to a sitting position, and wiped the sweat and blood from her face with the sleeve of her robes.

"So it is true. She has finally marked a soul for her own. You were right in bringing this to my attention, priestess. I apologize for the… unpleasantness… of the ritual. You will spend as much time as you need in my private wing recovering. Congratulations also, are in order I see. It is good, Lirilith. Long have we wondered whether or not you would leave us a daughter to carry on your work."

The woman just nodded and continued trying to clean herself up.

"M'Lady, do you have any idea why she would have marked a human?"

"I do not know, but she is not a predictable divinity by any stretch of the imagination. She is given to flights of fancy, and even I do not profess to know what is in her mind. We must watch this human, though. Where did you leave the creature?"

"She has actually come here. I have had some priestesses tracking her, and she spent some time on a couple ships at the Citadel, and then surprisingly enough, came here to Thessia. I was astonished, because when I met her I suggested she come here, and she adamantly refused. I guess she changed her mind though. I did some background research on her, and apparently she works for Terriana."

"_Matriarch _Terriana. You will do well to remember your place, priestess, and show respect. You are barely a step above an acolyte, and believe me I had seriously considered your dismissal from the Order after the butterfly incident. You must start acting your age." The mysterious woman leaned back in her stone chair, and Lirilith once more bowed her head, accepting the rebuke.

_So, the human works for Matriarch Terriana, does she? That is interesting, very interesting indeed… I wonder what you are up this time, my goddess…_

"Relieve your priestesses of their duties. This will require a much more subtle and delicate touch."

"M'Lady?"

"Contact Marisa. Inform her we have need of her services."

Lirilith nodded, and pushed herself shakily to her feet. "I will send the message immediately."

The high priestess motioned to one of her servants to help the woman depart, and then pressed on a secret place in her chair, revealing a hidden drawer with ancient texts. She spent the next six days pouring over all of them, looking for any hint at an explanation, any notation at all that would have established precedent for the events the high priestess was sure were about to unfold.

Unfortunately… she found nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Space port <strong>

Danger stepped off the Colloquia and took a deep breath of the fresh Thessian air. She knew it was identical to Earth's, at least as far as its composition, but something about it was different. She felt different when she was here. She was starting to think of this land as her home, despite the fact that there was only a handful of her kind on the entire planet. Somehow, this place was eclipsing her love of planet Earth, and she wasn't sure whether or not she actually wanted to leave it again.

She made her way through the space port to the nearby city where her rovers were housed. She had intended to move them off world, but every time she sat at the console, ready to finalize the arrangements, something stopped her. She wasn't precisely sure what it was, but it felt somehow like an immortal hand was bearing down on her every time she tried to open the comm link to her transport people. Absently, she scratched at her lower back.

_Maybe I should see a doctor. Who knows what I could have picked up while being manhandled on that ship…_

She threw her bag over her shoulder, and walked up to an attractive matron named Alleria, who was working on something at a bright console. The woman was of average height for an asari, but was slightly more voluptuous than most of the typically thin race. She almost always wore low cut, deep red asari gowns to accentuate her curves, and Danger thought she was particularly attractive and seemed a little out of place in a garage setting. But then again, Danger herself was a little out of place too.

"Hello, gorgeous. Did you miss me?"

The asari matron smiled as the human swaggered up to her. "Of course. The garages just haven't been the same since you have been gone. I see you have been in some fights! Very sexy look on you, sugar. You are so… dangerous…" her eyes flashed and she reached up to touch Danger's bruised face. The human tried not to react. "Here, there are some messages for you." She reached below the counter and produced a datapad.

Danger furrowed her brow and took the unit from the woman. "What's all this about?"

The asari waved a hand dismissively and went back to her console. "Oh the usual, propositions of all kinds, invitations to the latest technology shows, declarations of eternal love and devotion. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"I assume you have already read them?" Danger grinned idiotically at the garage manager.

"Of course I did. I have to protect my best customer, after all. Plus, you need someone to screen your potentials. Some of those maidens really need to just go back to the slums they crawled out of."

Danger threw her head back and laughed. "You really are too much. So is there anything in this I should actually look at?" She waved the small electrical device.

"Nah, not unless you are looking for a hookup, and you certainly don't need one of those girls for that, sugar…" she leaned over the counter suggestively, giving Danger an extremely clear view of her assets.

Danger just scratched the back of her head and tried her very, very best not to look. "Yea, I'll… I'll just… take a… a raincheck on that one, Alleria. I um... I have to get back to the compound. Can I get the key?"

Alleria smiled at the human's obvious discomfort. "Oh, you have the keys all right…" She reached below the counter again, very slowly, smiling at Danger's surprising self-control. "Should you change your mind, come back here any time. You know my bondmate and I are always up for… new experiences. She hasn't had the pleasure of joining with a human… yet. You should stop by one night. Just make sure you skip dinner and come straight for dessert…"

Danger dropped the datapad, grabbed the key out of the woman's hand, and nearly ran to the garage entrance. She heard Alleria laughing behind her as she pushed the circular metal structure into the center of the door and turned it. As the entrance opened, she threw the object into the nearby conduit that would return it to the front desk, and stepped through the door.

"Oh Danger, one other thing!"

Danger closed her eyes and prayed the woman hadn't done something crazy like disrobe. Slowly, she turned around, and opened one eye. "Yea, Alleria?"

"Matriarch Terriana stopped by a couple days ago."

Danger opened her other eye in shock. "What? What was she doing here?"

Alleria shrugged. "I'm not really sure. She just wanted to know where your cars were, and since you do work for her I assumed it would be all right to show her."

"You took her to my cars? What did she do?"

"Nothing much, really. She just sat in one of them for a few hours, and then left without a word. I actually thought it was kind of peculiar. But then again, Matriarch Terriana always was a strange one. Don't tell her I said that, sugar."

Danger ran her fingers through her hair, got them caught on her fastener, and shook her head in annoyance. She gathered her wild locks back at the base of her neck again and exhaled softly. "Well, thanks for letting me know, Alleria. I have some things to grab out of one of my cars, but I shouldn't be too long."

The woman smiled at Danger, and leaned over the side of the circular counter again. "You take just as long as you need, sugar. And remember, it's an open door offer, so whenever you get lonely, you just come back here and see me."

Danger hurriedly turned around, and ran through the garages, once again hearing the asari's laughter fill the air.

_Damn these women are brazen. They are all completely crazed, except for Terriana. Of course, the one I __**wouldn't**__ mind being a little crazed is the only chaste one of the lot. Gosh. What the hell was she doing at my rovers, anyway…?_

Danger reached her corner of the garages, and looked at her cars. There was nothing unusual that she could see; nothing was overtly out of place. Nothing had been tampered with. She opened the door of one of the larger vehicles, and pulled out a small belt that had some tools on it. She stuffed it in her bag, and then shut the door.

_I wonder which one she sat in. That's a very strange thing to have done. Does the matriarch even know how to drive…? Maybe she doesn't, if she's been driven around by servants like me her whole life. Would she like to learn? Hmm… I should ask her… well, if we ever get back to normal, that is…_

Danger stepped back, shaking her head, and swung the bag back over her shoulder. She looked towards the garage door that led back to Alleria's office, but decided that it would be better to take another exit, given the level of… energy… the asari behind the counter seemed to be displaying. It must be close to a full moon or something, and Danger wasn't so sure she would have the self-control today to resist the inevitable outcome a second encounter with assets of that… caliber… was likely to produce. She walked over to a wall, tossed the bag through the open space at the top, and then took a running jump, pulling herself through and falling out to the other side. She dusted herself off, and picked up her bag again. As she walked away from the garages, she thought she caught a glimpse of red waving to her from behind the glass, and a soft voice whispering in her mind, "_I'll see you later, sugar."_

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, Security offices<strong>

Danger stepped into the room that served as her offices here on Thessia, and looked around. The place was just as she had left it. Nothing had been disturbed in her absence, strangely enough. She walked over to the cot that she had set up, and kicked it a few times before folding it up and throwing it out the door.

_I can't stand the stench of that thing. It smells like that commando. I'll just sleep on the floor until I can get another one. _

She opened her bag, took out some of her tools and laid them across the desk, where her console sat. Next, she removed a picture of her and Jane, in front of the Normandy crew. Danger looked at it for a few minutes, and then set it right on top of her filing cabinets.

_Gosh, that was a really good time. I needed that. That was probably the most fun I have had in years. I mean, aside from the whole getting kidnapped, burned alive, and nearly being raped by some pervy old couple stuff._

She dumped the rest of the contents of her bag out on the floor, which was just some clothing, and threw the container in the corner. Danger secretly hoped she would never have to use it again, but she was going to be a little more realistic this time around regarding her association with the matriarch. This time, it was strictly "business". After all, her presence here would allow the Alliance to move forward with their agenda, and as soon as her contract was up, she could return to Earth as an even bigger hero than before, meet someone nice and just settle down.

_Yes, that's what I will do. I'll meet someone nice and just quietly enjoy the rest of my life, far away from this planet and this whole nightmare. This was a stupid idea anyway, thinking that this situation was more than a mercenary protection agreement. Now that I have a contract, I can just do the job I'm here for, and then leave. I'm completely professional now. There's nothing personal at all about this assignment._

Danger opened the filing cabinet, and took out one of her uniform shirts. Unfolding it, she stood there and stared at it, as she did almost two weeks prior when she departed this place. The shirt hadn't changed, but Danger felt like she had.

_I'm not the same as before. Now I know the score. This time, I'll just fulfill what my contract stipulates, and nothing more. This time, will be different._

"I'm glad you're back, Danger."

The human turned her head to look toward the turian voice that had invaded her private thoughts. Rolus was standing in the doorway, smiling at her. She nodded. "Thank you, Rolus. How have you been?" She turned back to the shirt in her hands.

The turian came into the room, favoring his right leg which had never quite healed properly, and sat in a chair. "I've been as well as can be expected. Michelle sent this for you." He put a small pie on one of Danger's tables. "I guess it's some sort of human tradition or something."

Danger leaned over and sniffed, smiling in satisfaction. "Homemade apple pie. You don't deserve a woman as sweet as she is. Give her my thanks."

"Ha, I probably don't." The turian smiled. He had met Michelle three decades prior, during a diplomatic visit to the Citadel. The two immediately fell in love, and after three years of courting, she moved to Thessia to be with him. She didn't often travel with them, preferring instead to stay home and take care of the household, the two turian children they had adopted, and the one human one she recently bore. She was attractive, slightly pudgy with a kind face and long brown hair. Danger liked her because the woman always seemed to be baking something, and it was the only taste of home the mercenary could get here on the asari world.

"She's been having trouble with her car again, and she wants you to come round and look at it."

"Yea, no problem. I'll stop by this week sometime."

"Great, I'll make sure she bakes those cookies you like."

Danger nodded, and went back to staring at her shirt.

"Danger, I really am glad you are back. You don't know what it was like here while you were gone. I'll have you know the matriarch hasn't slept since the night you left, which means no one else in the household has, either."

Danger snorted.

_I bet she hasn't. _

"I'm sure that Yhamira took very good care of things in my absence. Where is she, anyway? I suppose she's been upgraded to a… closer location to the matriarch."

Rolus shook his head. "Danger, the day you left I had already gotten rid of that commando. I don't know what Terriana hoped to accomplish with you by hiring her, but I can tell you she didn't expect you to leave without a word, and she never intended to replace you. The matriarch is a… complicated woman, but one thing I know for sure is that she was never comfortable with that asari warrior and never interacted with her more than was absolutely necessary. She didn't treat her like she treated you, Danger."

_Good thing too, because that commando probably would have snapped her neck by now._

Danger kept her inner thoughts to herself, and continued staring at the shirt, expressionless.

Rolus sighed. He wasn't getting through to the mercenary. "Danger, have a seat."

She turned her head again to look at him, and nodded once. Folding up the shirt and putting it back into the cabinet drawer; she sat down across from her friend and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees.

"Rolus, I am here for one purpose and one purpose alone. The Alliance has commissioned me to accept this contract and offer my services as a mercenary bodyguard, so that they may advance the human cause and construct new colonies in asari space. The Alliance wishes to strengthen our ties with the asari, and if I can help my people achieve that goal, then I will."

Rolus just shook his head. "That's a crock of shit and you know it, Danger. Don't forget who manages your paychecks. I got your little note that the arrangement still stands, so you aren't fooling me. Look, I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about why you came back. The important thing is that you did come back, and hopefully things can get back to some semblance of normal around here again. Everyone in this house has been in hiding since you left. It just hasn't been safe. She has always been moody, but something snapped in her when you went away, and believe me when I tell you this, Danger; Terriana is not a woman whose wrath you really want to invoke. Ever. Anyway, she has requested your presence in the garden. She sent me to deliver the message."

"Rolus, I have only just returned and as my contract states, there are very specific hours and times that I am considered on duty. This is not one of them. I have a rover to repair, and I may or may not have time afterward to entertain her request."

Rolus tried to fight back a smile. "Danger, you are playing with fire, but maybe you're the only one with enough power over her to get away with it. For that matter, perhaps it's about time someone did knock her down a few pegs. I will relay your message, but do me a favor. Don't be too hard on the matriarch. This is very new to her, and I think it might be just a little new to you as well."

"I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Funny, she said the same exact thing once. I will go and deliver the message."

The turian got up to leave, and nodded his head at Danger. "Good luck with the rover. Let me know if you need anything."

Danger watched him depart, and then got up to close the door behind him. She turned and leaned against it, and then slid to the floor.

_The commando was fired the day I left? When did that happen? So this entire time, she wasn't even here. And she's gone now, and Terriana wants me back in the garden? She's hanging out in my damn cars? The household has been in hiding? I don't understand any of what is going on._

Danger got up, and started to gather her tools.

_I need to go fix my rover. I can't deal with this right now. I can't think about this. I just can't deal with this right now. Later, I'll deal with this later._

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, and turned around again. The filing cabinet drawer was still open. She took out the shirt she had been staring at for the third time, and unfolded it again. It still hadn't changed, and Danger still felt that she had. At least, she had changed a little. She still felt mostly the same, but now she had started construction on the wall that would surround her heart; the wall that would protect her from hurt this time around.

She stood there and looked at the uniform shirt with the symbol of the asari nation on the shoulder, for what seemed an eternity.

After she felt she could stand it no longer, she folded it and put it away again. Throwing on a one piece repair coverall and grabbing her hand tools, she walked out of the room and gave the cot one last kick for good measure.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's Compound, Gardens<strong>

Rolus slowly approached the matriarch, who was sitting quietly on a bench and making a big show of giving her undivided attention to a datapad. He scratched his forehead and thought about how to relay the message without invoking her wrath. He knew that she was out here specifically so she could see Danger. She hadn't taken a meeting since the mercenary had left, and she had no log notes to go over. There was no telling how she might react to the news that Danger was essentially blowing her off.

He decided to keep it short and sweet.

"She's not coming, Terriana."

The matriarch looked up at her advisor. "What do you mean?"

He thought about it for a minute. "Her contract states she is to accompany you on your trips off world and provide security at meetings. It says nothing about spending quality time with you in the garden."

The matriarch's eyes flashed, but Rolus ignored it. He'd weathered Terriana storms for years, and he knew just how far he could push her before she got really angry. The news didn't immediately set her off, so he had a little wiggling room to be direct with her. "I told you to go and deliver the message yourself, Matriarch. This isn't something that is going to get fixed overnight and a little effort from you would go a long way. The mercenary came back, and that's a good sign, but you need to understand that she's in pain and isn't going to just slip right back into the way things used to be."

"She came back because of what I gave to the Alliance."

Rolus shrugged. "Well, we'll never really know. Personally, I think she would have come back if you had just asked her, but that was too difficult to do, right? You had to make a big diplomatic deal out of it, instead of just sending her a message that you missed her."

Terriana waved a hand. "Rolus, you are my closest friend and most trusted advisor, but you are starting to step over the line."

He just nodded. "Yes, I might be, but I don't think that Danger came back because she is loyal to the Alliance or the human causes. She doesn't strike me as the type who really gives a damn one way or the other. She's not like her friend Shepard. Just give her some time to adjust to being back. Right now she's gone off to fix a rover she wrecked just before leaving."

Terriana looked up at him. "Wrecked?"

He nodded. "Yes, I went to look at it after she departed. It's not the kind of damage that Danger could have accidentally caused. She did it on purpose, and I'm sure she did it in anger. You hurt her badly with that commando fiasco, and I think she took it out on the car. Just give her some time, Terriana."

Rolus walked away, leaving the matriarch alone on the bench. Terriana looked toward her compound entrance, and saw the mercenary leaving, but Rolus was right. Danger wasn't coming out to the garden. The human wasn't wearing her uniform shirt. Instead, she was wearing what looked like some sort of gray repair outfit, which, incidentally, was incredibly cute. She was carrying some tools and was headed in the direction of a road that wasn't often used.

_Well, he's probably right. I should just give her some time. _

She opened her datapad again, and tried to concentrate on going over the logs of her last meeting with Udina. Her arrangement with the Alliance had added quite a lot of work for her, considering the event was unprecedented and she needed to ensure the safety of the colony. She had already talked to the head of the Justicar training academy, and it was all she could do to convince the woman to keep her Justicars out of that area of space. They were a difficult lot to deal with, and she wasn't entirely sure even the powerful instructor could really contain the asari she trained. In addition to that, she also had to ensure that the colony kept to its own designated areas and didn't start raiding any nearby asari settlements. She had months of diplomatic work ahead of her because of this agreement.

_Well, it's worth it. The humans are strong allies to have, and Danger is back. This is nothing that I can't handle. _

She turned off the datapad and sat back against the bench. Yes, Danger was back, and that was a start. Rolus was right; she should have gone to deliver her own message. Prior to hiring the commando, she had been seeking out Danger on her own, except when they were fighting. The matriarch chuckled softly at that thought…

_Our fights consist of me getting angry and ignoring her for a week. But now she's back. Despite all of it, she's come back to me. Well, there is no reason for me to sit and listen to these. She isn't coming out here today._

The matriarch stood, adjusted her robes and left the garden.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Mountaintop<strong>

Danger reached the site where her rover was sitting and punched some things into her Omni-tool. While she waited for the message to get to her captain, she got in the vehicle, disengaged the transmission and backed it down the mountain a short way to a nearby area that was somewhat flat. She got out of the car, and pulled some tire chocks out from under the seat and kicked them behind the rear wheels.

_That should be good enough to make this repair. I could do these in my sleep anyway. _

After a time, she saw the Colloquia descend and drop a couple of packages just below where she and the rover had settled.

"Close enough. Thanks Ned," she said to no one in particular. "Good luck out there, old buddy. Maybe we'll meet up again someday."

She made her way down the mountain, and unboxed the transmission, which thankfully was still secure on its transport. Pushing it up to where the rover was, she locked the wheels of the cart and kicked some rocks in front of them. Then she went to get the second package. This large box contained specialty tools that would help her remove the heavy transmission from the car. Unpacking the first large piece, she wheeled it up to the rover, positioned it in front of the vehicle, secured it to the frame, and lifted the car's front end. Removing the hood, she disconnected the battery's electrical connections. She then returned to the box and pulled out a specialty jack, which could hold the heavy piece of machinery, and wheeled it underneath the car. Securing it against the metal, she stood and surveyed her work.

_Not bad. Not ideal, but not bad. _

Danger thought about some of the cars she'd collected on Earth. She was fond of the old technology, especially the older muscle cars. There was something about the simplicity of them that appealed to her. These days almost everything was electronics and artificial intelligence. All the interfaces were VI representations, and it was almost like people had fallen out of love with the inner mechanical workings that had made cars so special in the first place.

_Ah, if this was one of those old machines I wouldn't need this thing to get the transmission out. I could get a buddy to unbolt it, just drop it and move it by hand. _

But, the rover was not one of those old muscle cars. It was a larger and more durable piece of machinery and despite her strength, the unit weighed much more than she could manage without a jack.

Danger opened the rear door to the vehicle and pulled away the back seat. Below it was a small collection of power tools, in case the machine ever needed maintenance in the field. She grabbed an old, worn beret out of a toolbox, and re-secured her hair at the base of her neck before donning it. She wiped the grease off an old pair of safety glasses, and threw those on too. Selecting one small air wrench, she fed the line into her portable compressor, powered it on, and sat it on the ground next to the rover so she could start disassembling it.

First she headed to the front of the car and removed the starter, paying close attention to the connecting wires. Then she climbed underneath it and disconnected the drive shaft. She had to turn it a couple times to get to all the bolts, but soon it was free. She got back up to the rover's controls and engaged the manual brakes. Returning to her place below the car, she removed the crossmember bolts and started letting the jack down. Once the cooler lines were visible, she tightened it back up and started disconnecting them, and all the electrical sensors.

Danger always loved working on her cars. The sound of the power tools, the smell of the oil and metal… it reminded her of home. Her parents were still alive as far as she knew, but Danger hadn't spoken to them in almost twenty years. She got her love of all things mechanical from her father, who had a small business excavating the surrounding areas. He was constantly tinkering with heavy machinery, and he had taught Danger everything he knew. When she was eighteen, her mother suggested she marry the son of the town mayor, and Danger had refused. The suggestion eventually turned into more of an insistence, and that was the day Danger decided it was time to make her own way in the world.

She never looked back.

She kept working in silence, removing the torque arm, and then unbolting the converter from the flexplate. Finally, she got to work on the bellhousing bolts and felt the transmission loosen from the engine. This was going to be the tricky part. She gently pried it loose, guiding the dipstick out and taking care to keep the rubber seal in place. She plugged it with an extension, and breathed a sigh of relief at not having to smell the burnt metal and fluid.

_**That **__smell wouldn't have been so pleasant. _

Danger grinned to herself and shook her head.

"I'm so sorry old girl. But you will never believe what I got for you. This one is going to be about a hundred times better."

Danger pushed the jack slightly to the side to allow herself access to some of the final sensors. Making quick work of disconnecting them, she patted the car's engine and nodded in satisfaction.

_Good deal old girl. We'll have you put back together in no time, and I'll even get you some special plugs and wires as a treat. Maybe we'll get those new cams I have been threatening to install._

Just as she was congratulating herself on a job well done, she heard a strangled cry and what sounded like an avalanche going down the mountain. She wriggled out from under the car to see what the commotion was, and rubbed her eyes with the back of her arm in disbelief.

There, in a heap of tangled brush and dust, was Matriarch Terriana, rubbing her right ankle.

_That can't possibly be who I think it is. Is she kidding?_

Danger used the side of the car to lift herself up, tossed the greasy glasses into the seat, and grabbed a rag to wipe her hands.

_How did she even know where to find me?_

"Matriarch, what are you doing here?"

The matriarch did her best to look regal and commanding, but that was hard to do when sitting on the ground in the dirt with a broken ankle. "Rolus delivered your message."

"Yes, I imagined he would. That still doesn't explain what you're doing up here. Stop it, let me look at that." Danger knelt beside the asari, pushed away her robes and pulled off her shoe.

_Well, this explains why she seems so tall. These heels must be three inches at least. I knew she couldn't possibly have been taller than me. No one is. Why does she wear these things? It's foolish to try to climb up a mountain wearing them, anyway._

Danger started prodding at the already swelling skin, and bit her lower lip.

_Damn, it's broken all right. This must hurt like hell. I wish I had some medigel or something. I guess it wouldn't do any good though, since I have no idea how to use it. And good lord, her legs are as perfect as I imagined. Is there anything at all about this woman that is unattractive, anything at all I can focus on?_

"Your response was unacceptable. I have an agreement with the Alliance, and I expect you to honor it. Ouch, stop pressing so hard."

"Matriarch, I need to see where it's broken. Quit fidgeting, I know it hurts. There's nothing I can do for this. Hold on one second let me just finish something fast."

"Excuse me? I am not done with you, bodyguard. You will not depart until I dismiss you," but Danger had already gotten up and was pulling various levers on the device holding her transmission. The machine gracefully swung the unit out from under the car, and Danger manipulated the controls to drop the damaged and useless piece of equipment on the ground nearby.

"There. Now, we have to get you out of here. I'll come back and deal with this later." Danger returned to the matriarch, put her arms under the asari and lifted her from the ground. Like the first time Terriana had felt herself being picked up by the human, her arms instinctively went around Danger's neck. This time though, she leaned her head against the mercenary's shoulder and allowed herself to enjoy the sensation.

"Why did you come up here, anyway?"

Terriana had closed her eyes, the pain in her ankle immediately forgotten, but the edge in her voice remained. "I already informed you that your response was unacceptable. I have an agreement with the Alliance, and I expect you to honor it."

"I have a contract now, Matriarch. My hours of duty are very clearly stated."

"I will have it amended."

Danger rolled her eyes. "Do what you must, but I was within my right to refuse and come fix this car. You could have just waited until I came back to scold me or ignore me or hire another fifty commandos or whatever you planned to do."

"I am not scolding you; I am merely informing you that your negligence of duty will have repercussions."

_Yea, like you chasing me all the way up a mountain to bitch me out, and then making me carry your clumsy ass back down it. I guess I should have been more careful what I wished for… then again… I guess this isn't all that bad. It could be worse._

Danger unconsciously slowed her pace and adjusted her grip on the asari as she replied, "I was not 'neglecting my duties'. There is no reason for me to be in that garden. You are surrounded by hundreds of asari warriors and there is no threat."

"I don't feel safe. I require your presence when I go over logs, in case someone attempts to steal them or kidnap me.

_Is she serious? She can't possibly be serious._

"And you just had to come up the mountain to tell me that, right now."

"Yes."

"How did you even find me?"

"Rolus knew where you were. He went to look at your car after you left, which I still haven't forgiven you for, by the way. You are not to leave this compound without alerting me, and any absences need to be approved beforehand. I will need to know where you are going, how long you will be gone, and who you will be with, and that's not to say that I will necessarily give approval. I may not, depending on the circumstances and my general sense about the state of security at the compound."

_She is insane. There's just no other explanation. She is fucking in… sane…_

"Well, you should have kept that commando. You could have had her guard your garden trip today so I could have fixed my car and this," she nodded toward the matriarch's hurt ankle, "wouldn't have happened."

Terriana opened her eyes and looked up at the mercenary. Danger was facing forward, almost as if she were trying not to look at the woman in her arms. The matriarch was slightly surprised to see the human's face seemed to be healing from some sort of injury, and wondered what had happened while the Alliance operative was away from her. She would ask about it later on tonight, at the evening meal. For now, she just wanted to enjoy the rest of the trip back to the compound in Danger's arms. The human smelled wonderful, some strange and intoxicating combination of raspberry and machinery. She laid her head back on the mercenary's shoulder and closed her eyes, saying a silent thank you to Athame that her bodyguard had returned.

Quietly she said, "I don't want that commando, Danger."

She thought she detected a slight change in the rhythm of the human's heartbeat and it seemed that the arms that held her momentarily tightened, but it could have just been the exertion from carrying her down the mountain. In any event, Danger did not respond, and Terriana did not say anything further, until they finally reached the compound and she demanded her bodyguard continue to hold her as her medical staff tended to her injury.

Danger rolled her eyes, but did as she was instructed.


	43. Chapter 42: Drama Ramen

**Chapter 42: Drama Ramen**

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Security Offices, later<strong>

Danger nearly ran up the stairs and through the door to her offices. She pulled off the repair coverall, and tossed it into the now growing pile of junk in a corner.

_Wow, what was that all about? Holy macaroni, how is it that the very __**second**__ I get back, I am right back into a situation that makes zero sense?_

She nearly fell into the chair in front of her console, and absently flipped a switch to turn it on.

_Good. There's a race on. That will get my mind off all of this. _

Danger had just left Matriarch Terriana in her offices, after carrying her down a mountain and bringing her to the compound clinic to have her injuries seen to. The crazy woman had actually demanded to be treated while still in the mercenary's arms, and though it was amusing to see the medics scattered about, unsure at how to proceed, it was decidedly _not_ amusing to Danger to have to parse through her own confusion. The last words the matriarch had said to her echoed in her mind; _"I don't want that commando, Danger."_

_I'm just not sure how to interpret these signals. What does she want from me, and why can't she just say what she means? _

It wasn't exactly a declaration of eternal love and devotion to the mercenary, but as Danger sat there and thought about it, the inflection with which she said it certainly implied that there _was_ someone the matriarch wanted… just not the commando.

_I don't understand. Snap out of it, Darla. You promised you wouldn't do this, not this time. You promised this time you wouldn't let it turn into some silly soap opera. It's strictly business! Stop it!_

Her Omni-tool beeped, and she inwardly sighed in relief at the distraction. Tali had sent her some code to look over, and she had found a logic bomb in it that the quarian had overlooked. Apparently the young engineer had found it while hacking into some citadel security terminals looking for intel on that turian dude Jane was chasing. Now they were frantically sending snippets back and forth, trying to determine the origin of the code, and the purpose of the bomb.

_Thank all the gods for Tali. She's the only one_ _who_ _makes any sense around this insane asylum._

But at that thought she paused in her typed reply, and looked up at the ceiling, considering.

_Actually, check that. She doesn't make sense either. _

Danger reflected on the last thing that Tali had 'said' to her before she left the Normandy. It had been just as cryptically suggestive as the matriarch's words were. Though the mercenary had assured Jane that neither of them had been getting any of 'those' vibes, as the days drew on and she spent more and more time with the quarian… well, she wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe she should have kept her distance, instead of throwing herself into number crunching with Tali every chance she got.

Still, that situation was just a bug in the code at best, and Danger didn't think that there would be much of a future with Tali, no matter how well they got along. Surely the quarian realized it as well, and was just passing the time with Danger's company until she met someone that suited her. There was just too big an age gap, even if it was only a perceived one, and eventually Tali would want to return to her people. At some point, they would have to say goodbye, and one of them would get hurt. Best to just not even consider that situation any further. Danger finished her reply, and sent it off.

_Well, if Tali is a bug in the code, I guess that makes Terriana the logic bomb…_

She closed her Omni-tool and looked back at the race. Her favorite car wasn't doing very well. She wasn't surprised though. The driver had recently decided to switch to a new brand of performance oil, and it was found that the manufacturer had been cutting corners to save on labor, allowing them to undercut the competition. The driver's crew chief convinced her to make the switch, and the second Danger heard about it, she knew that it was time to stop betting on the number 13.

_You're certainly paying for that oil now, aren't you? You're half a tick behind everyone else, girl. You should have fired that idiot. I would have come and led your crew. You're probably the only racer good enough to make me consider leaving behind extractions to join a pit crew. _

Still, it was an exciting race and it might be nice for someone else to win for once. She looked back at her Omni-tool, but Tali hadn't yet responded. Danger had sent her a fairly lengthy theory to consider, and it would take the quarian at least a couple hours to make sense of it. That was probably just as well. The human had some things to work out in her mind and talking back and forth with Tali would probably just confuse her more. She powered down her Omni-tool, and slipped it off her wrist. Standing, she placed it carefully in a lower filing cabinet drawer, and closed it up.

Danger just couldn't figure these women out. It seemed like none of them could actually articulate a clear and precise request. Why was that? This had certainly never happened to her before. Before, women, and men for that matter, were very clear in what they wanted from the mercenary. Danger was actually somewhat of a legend back on Earth because of it. Every time she walked into a bar, she was immediately accosted by thrill-seekers, hoping to be the one to finally bed Darla Vance. No one was at a loss for words, or drinks, in those days. It got even worse when Jane came of age and joined the military. Whenever they would coordinate to see each other during Jane's shore leaves, the two of them would have entire dance clubs following them into the bathrooms.

_I blame her stupid military uniforms, personally. She just had to go and join up with the Alliance, and then parade around in that ridiculously hot, form-fitting armor. She doesn't even realize how nicely she filled out, I bet. Damn it Janie, I miss you already. I should have stayed with you guys. It would have been so cool. When you went off on your big bad missions to save the universe with Ash, Liara and I could trash your room and just generally be a bad influence on Tali. We'd take her and Garrus to bars, and post pictures of your face on all the dartboards. It would have been so epic. Why did I come back here? I should have just stayed there, and then I wouldn't be trying to figure out this insane asari again. I mean, she's been alive for seven hundred years, right? Surely she's like… had stuff… or something… in that amount of time, right? It should be especially easy for her to articulate whether or not she is into me. Well... I'm probably just reading too much into it. The woman isn't interested in me, and never will be. I'm just creating imaginary opportunities… _

She walked back over to her console and switched to another screen. There were a few messages, mostly from Alleria, some from unknown addresses, and one from Michelle. She deleted the ones from the garage manager and the other crap, figuring she already knew what was in them, and opened the most recent one from her turian friend's wife.

_Danger _

_My car is making the clinky sound again. I need you to come and look at it. I promise I didn't hit anything this time. Well, nothing big anyway. Rolus wants to buy a new one but these turian children are already eating three times their weight, especially the girl! We can't afford a new car! Please come by soon. _

_I have a new recipe I have been dying to try anyway. My cousin got it from a diner waitress back on Earth. I'm sure you will love it; it's loaded with cinnamon. She also says her husband made something for you again. Some companion piece for some stick you have. She wouldn't be very specific, except about what I was to tell you. She said to tell you 'it's in that place where I put that thing that time' and to pick it up the next time you are in the neighborhood. Can you believe she made me memorize that? _

_Anyway, I also sent over a menu for you. There is a new restaurant in the city! Someone __**finally**__ spotted the hole in the market and opened a place serving human food! They serve asari stuff as well, but who cares about that. It's bad enough Rolus insists on living here._

…

_Don't tell him I said that. _

_Please come soon. I need to get to the space port to get that turian swill Rolus likes. He's a beast if he doesn't get his nightcap, and then I have to hear his grumbling for weeks. See you soon Danger! You're a doll._

_Michelle_

Danger couldn't suppress a smile. Michelle really was one of the sweetest women in the entire universe, and she had her hands full with those turian kids. Rolus helped as much as he could, but he had to be at the matriarch's beck and call, so most of his time was spent in the compound. The poor human was left on her own to try to contain the rascals. They had adopted twins, a boy and a girl, who had been orphaned after their father was killed in the line of duty. Their mother had died in childbed a few years prior to that, and so the two children were seized by the turian government until a suitable home could be found. Rolus and Michelle had talked about their options, and eventually settled on adopting one turian child, and her bearing one human one. However, when they traveled to Palaven to make their selection, they immediately fell in love with the twins and took them both.

Danger knew the woman was a little lonely, despite the full house, and she was sure that was the real reason the homemaker kept wrecking her car. The mercenary was the only other human within several miles, and causing damage for her to 'fix' was a good excuse to eat apple pie and chat away. The comment about not being able to afford a new car was probably just a little white lie. Terriana came from a very wealthy background, and paid her employees well. Rolus was the matriarch's advisor, and Danger was sure that he was paid more than an adequate salary to support himself and his family. If Michelle wanted a new car, he would get her one. However, she didn't want a new rover, opting instead to appropriate Danger as her own personal mechanic. For her part, Danger wasn't really complaining. She got free apple pie and cookies out of the deal, and it was nice to chat with another human every now and again.

The mercenary stood and turned to look at the coverall on the floor. She really should get her own rover put back together, especially since she left all of her tools sitting out on the ground and the weather here was unpredictable.

_Pft, I don't really need that coverall to put the rover back together. The hard part is done now that the old piece is out, and I didn't spill a drop of gear oil. I'll just put on a different shirt and head back out there like this. _

She walked over to the filing cabinet and pulled out a gray shirt. She took off the blue one she was wearing, and threw it in the pile with the coverall. Pulling on the gray shirt, she grabbed a datapad and downloaded her messages to it, smiling as the menu for the new restaurant appeared.

_Wow, she was right. They have pretty much everything. I wonder how they are getting all those supplies here. Good find, Michelle. I'll have to make it a point to stop by tomorrow and get your car sorted out. Hopefully the matriarch won't make a habit of following me off site and making me carry her back to the compound. I might not have the strength for __**that**__ long a trek…_

Danger absently pulled off her beret, and scratched at the back of her head, dislodging her fastener. She looked at the corner of the datapad, and noticed it was about two hours away from the evening meal. It would be getting dark soon.

_I better get moving. I can't leave that rover and my tools on the mountaintop to rust. _

As she walked out of the security offices, she switched off the datapad, stowed it in a pocket, and tried to tame her unruly hair.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, evening<strong>

Matriarch Terriana entered the dining area and seated herself in her customary place at the head of the table. She may have been a little early for the evening meal, but she was eager to see Danger again and there had been no meetings to delay her today. In fact, she hadn't taken any meetings since the mercenary had left. There were, of course, a number of invitations to glamorous events held on the Citadel and presented by the legendary Hostess Jennestia, but she wasn't going to be attending any of them without Danger. She told Rolus it was because she was worried about security, but secretly she admitted to herself that she just liked being seen with the mercenary.

Her security guard was never there as her 'official' escort, of course, but everyone knew that Danger was there with Terriana and only Terriana. The matriarch enjoyed her presence and the attention it attracted to have such a tall and attractive human ushering her around and shadowing her movements. In fact, she found that she was actually starting to look forward to these outings, which were once such a chore. It just wouldn't be the same with a different security detail, and she didn't want anyone asking difficult questions about where her 'pet' human was and why they weren't together.

Danger even managed somehow to look the part, not exactly dressing up, but at least trading in her normal cargo style pants for dark slacks, and tucking her black security shirt in. She wouldn't carry visible weaponry to those occasions, as it was frowned upon, but she did have various small tools attached to her belt and Terriana felt sure that the mercenary had at least one hidden blade somewhere in her uniform and was prepared to defend her. Danger was the very image of beauty, efficiency, and utility, and the matriarch may have felt more than a little smug at having her complete and undivided attention.

She took a napkin from the corner of the table, folded it into her lap, and pulled a datapad out of a pocket in her robes. She may as well use the extra time to quickly go over some logs. Udina had sent her the names of the colonists who were to be in the first settlement wave, and she needed to do background checks on all of them to ensure that the humans weren't trying to slip her any of their criminals. It wasn't that she didn't trust Udina; she just wanted to make sure that nothing fell through the cracks and the transition went as smoothly as possible. This deal was too important; for what it meant to the asari nation, and for what it meant to her personally. She wasn't about to lose her security guard and the contract that kept her here over anything that could be easily avoided with a little extra effort on her part.

"Matriarch, pardon me please. I am so sorry this was not already done."

Terriana lifted her datapad and leaned back as the house girl, Larissa, set the plates on the table. She barely spared a glance for the child, who was forty five years old and working in the matriarch's household to earn money for whatever it was the young ones earned money for these days. The girl's mother was the clerk in the local government offices, and so Terriana saw the woman often. She was only too happy to allow the girl to work in the kitchens at the compound, after overhearing a passing comment from the matron stating that her child had started to become unruly and was threatening to leave home if she wasn't allowed to get a job.

Unfortunately, most of the jobs for maidens Larissa's age were either in dirty food dispensaries or dangerous door to door work. There weren't a whole lot of opportunities even on Thessia, as most maidens didn't typically start to get restless until around their hundredth year, and by then they would usually just leave the planet and travel the stars. Larissa was different than most, though. She had the gift of a brilliant mind and was wise beyond her years, and her mother knew that if she left the planet and her studies, she would forever regret it. They tried to come to many compromises, but the one thing they couldn't agree on was the child earning her own money. She had scoured the local city looking for work, but there weren't many places that would hire a maiden her age, and ones that would were not exactly savory. The girl had even come home once with an offer from a strip club at a nearby space station, who wanted a 'younger' look for some of their 'special' clients… which understandably sent her mother into a raging fury.

When Terriana had heard about it, she immediately offered the girl a job. Her own mother once had a serving girl, but a few years ago that one had bonded to her longtime sweetheart and they were currently living in another city, presumably raising young. The house cook had been shouldering the extra duties, and though the master chef did it without complaint, Terriana felt it was the perfect opportunity to solve two problems with one action. The compound was close to the government offices, and so the girl's mother was able to drop her off in the morning for the day's duties, and the two would leave at sundown, after Terriana had taken her evening meal. It kept the child out of the strip clubs and close to home, and the clerk's productivity had increased tenfold because of it. The food seemed better as well, Terriana reflected, no doubt because the ornery old chef enjoyed having company in the kitchens again.

The young girl had also become fairly good at her job, which was an added bonus. She learned from the Cook how to fold the napkins, how to set the silverware, and she always kept the water chilled and lightly sweetened, just how the matriarch liked it. The master chef was even teaching her a little about cooking, and the child had been laying out her experimental sweets all over the compound, which delighted the rest of the household workers. The young asari performed her duties silently and quickly, which pleased Terriana well enough, and so the matriarch instructed Rolus to include the child in the monthly bonuses and allow her use of the private library for her schoolwork and studies. Overall, she was happy with the girl's work…

But one day the child unwittingly invoked the wrath of the elder asari. It was the only time Terriana had ever scolded young Larissa.

The day after Danger had left; the matriarch sat down for her morning meal, but immediately noticed something was out of place. The setting across the table, where Danger always sat, was missing. Matriarch Terriana slowly stood, and it seemed a shadow crept over the room as the woman's skin crackled with dark electricity. She demanded to know why the table was not properly laid out. The miserable child tried to explain that Danger had stopped by the kitchens to steal sweet rolls the previous night and told the girl she was leaving for a while, but Terriana wasn't listening. She was frantically pulling plates and forks and napkins out of a cabinet and piling them all up on Danger's side of the table. When there was nothing left in the drawers, she advanced on the terrified maiden and didn't stop until she was a breath away from the girl's face. Her voice quivered with rage and her speech slowed dangerously…

"_That place setting is __**always**__ set."_

Rolus had heard the commotion and rushed in, rescuing the now crying asari maiden and ushering her out of the room. The shadow receded, and Matriarch Terriana left the dining hall, retreating to her offices, which was where she took the remainder of her meals… until today.

Today was different. Today her bodyguard would return and take her customary seat across from the matriarch, and they would speak of the day's events, and comment on the Cook's choice of the evening. Danger would complain that something was surely poisoned, and the matriarch would offer her wine to wash it down. The human would decline, and eye her suspiciously, and she would suppress a smile and hide the laughter in her eyes behind her own glass. When the meal was done, the human would stand first and nod to the house girl, and Larissa would come clear out the plates. Terriana would then stand, and produce her datapad, gesturing to the door; alerting Danger she had logs to go over. The human would grin that idiotic grin that lit up the matriarch's night, and they would sit outside in the garden until Terriana couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. It would be just like it used to be, now that Danger was back.

Yes, now that Danger was back, everything would be just like it was before and maybe a few things would even improve. She was considering moving the security center into her offices. If they knocked out the west wall, it could be rebuilt into a small command center for Danger to work in, and a soundproof glass barrier could be constructed to separate the sections for when the matriarch had classified meetings. It would actually work out better that way anyway, as right now Danger would sit outside the door and wouldn't be able to react very quickly if the matriarch was threatened. If she had a clear view through the glass, she would be able to see any threats before she heard them. It was a good idea, and would put Danger closer to her. Then she could convert the old security offices into proper chambers… or maybe by the time the new construction was finished, that would not even be necessary…

She also wanted to change the mercenary's uniform shirts. The human wore plain black short sleeved shirts that had the symbol of the asari nation on the shoulder, but the matriarch had decided it was time that another symbol was added. If she was going to continue working for the L'Niari household, she should be wearing the house crest as well. It could easily be added underneath the nation symbol, as all house crests were designed to augment it. She would have to sit down with Rolus and plan the changes the following week. For now, she wanted to catch up a little bit with her security guard, and make sure that everything was still… ok.

Matriarch Terriana turned off the datapad and placed it face down on the table. She had barely gotten through the first words of Udina's message, much less the names she would have to research. She couldn't concentrate on that right now. Too many thoughts were flying through her head, and all of them somehow seemed to center on Danger.

She closed her eyes and thought about their interactions earlier. The human had seemed cold and distant, but she hadn't complained when the matriarch demanded that her injury be treated while still in the creature's arms. In fact, Danger had looked decidedly amused as the medics scratched their heads, looked at each other, and shrugged before setting to work on medi-gelling the broken ankle. That was to become one of the matriarch's favorite memories, and she was glad she went up the mountain after her bodyguard.

Terriana had then been tempted to order the confused woman to carry her into her private rooms, but thought better of it. This would require small steps, not giant leaps, and truth be told… She wasn't sure if she was ready just yet. She trusted Danger, of course, putting her life in the mercenary's hands every day… but this was a much more… delicate… matter and would need to be handled very carefully.

In addition, the matriarch still wasn't sure what had happened while her human was away, and she needed to clear that up before putting herself in any position of weakness. Humans were not known for their loyalty, and it didn't escape the matriarch's notice that the very second Danger's arms were free she started pecking away at her Omni-tool, clearly in a conversation with someone. It was most likely her friend Shepard, and Terriana was not at all comfortable with that. Shortly afterward, the mercenary had departed with barely even a goodbye.

No, she would have to tread lightly, and take small steps to improve their old routine and build the level of trust she needed. The matriarch was a patient woman, and if it took another few years before she could claim Danger as hers, then so be it. She just needed to keep the human alive, and here on Thessia, until then.

She drummed her fingers on the table, glancing at the house girl, who was doing her very best to look busy.

"What time is it, girl?"

The child turned around, and her light blue skin had gone nearly white. "It's… it's almost thirty past the hour, Matriarch."

Thirty past the hour… They always dined _on_ the hour, and somehow she had managed to waste an entire thirty minutes daydreaming. She looked across the table, and narrowed her eyes. Danger was not there, and nothing had been disturbed. She turned her gaze back to the miserable young asari, who was aware of the impending Terriana storm and trying to make herself as small as possible near the cabinets.

"Where is Danger, girl?"

"Matriarch… She's… Um… She said… Well… I ah…"

Terriana was losing her patience. "Spit it out, Larissa!"

"Shesnottakingmealshereanymore!" the poor child rushed the words out and then rushed _herself_ out the door, leaving the fuming matriarch alone.

_She's not taking meals here anymore? What nonsense is this? Where will she take meals if not here? We'll see about this. _

The asari matriarch pushed away from the table, and took several controlled breaths. After she was satisfied that her anger was sufficiently mastered, she left the dining hall and walked down the hallway leading to the security offices.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Danger's Security offices<strong>

Terriana arrived at the door, and lifted her hand to knock. She hesitated for a fraction of a second, and then lowered it again, instead punching her override code into the console next to the door, and walking in unannounced.

"What is going on in here?" she demanded as she stepped inside, but she stopped suddenly, and had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Danger, and her office, were both a complete mess… and something about it struck the matriarch as incredibly cute.

The human was seated on a chair, reclining slightly with one booted foot on the console table and the other stretched in front of her on the floor. She was watching some kind of vid with cars driving in long circles, and she was wearing her typical cargo pants with a sleeveless gray shirt that had some grease stains across it. Terriana had to consciously force herself not to stare. The human was extremely well formed and the shirt accentuated the light muscles that adorned her arms and shoulders, as well as her… other… assets. Her hair was only half pulled back, leaving the rest of it flying in random directions, and she was eating some sort of stringy food from a cardboard carton with a couple of sticks. Slowly, Danger looked at the matriarch, and replied around a mouthful of noodle, "I'm having dinner and watching a race. Is something going on? Do you need something?"

"Is… Is something… Excuse me?" The matriarch looked around again and noticed some things were out of place. "Danger, where is your bed? What happened in here? These offices are a mess!"

Danger just looked at the carton of noodle, stirring it. "I threw my cot out. I don't think that your pet commando was ever potty trained."

The matriarch blinked a few times and shook her head, completely confused at the situation. "Danger, what is all this?" She gestured to the mess of datapads and tools all over the floor.

Danger just shrugged and said, "I'm a merc. What do you expect?" as if that explained everything.

Terriana was stunned. This had not been at all what she was expecting. "What do I expect? For a start, I _expect_ you to be present at the evening meal, properly attired, and ready for the regularly scheduled events."

Danger barely reacted, instead looking back at the race. "I thought Udina covered all this with you." She chewed another mouthful of noodle.

Terriana brushed some datapads that were showing pictures of brightly colored cars off a nearby chair and sat down. "Udina and I went over the terms of your contract, yes, but I didn't think that…"

"That's your problem, Matriarch," Danger said, absently pointing at her with a stick full of noodles. "You don't think anyone else has a say in anything, and this time you're wrong. I had the contract drawn out this way for a reason. I wanted to make sure that my duties didn't interfere with Yhamira's, and so Udina and I sat down and worked out a plan."

"Yhamira is no longer in my employ, Danger."

"I get that, but that's not really my fault."

"Of course it's your fault! It's your fault I even hired her!"

Danger took her foot off the console and sat up, depositing the cardboard carton onto the table. "My fault? How is _any_ of this my fault? I've only ever done what you asked, Matriarch, and let me tell you it's a hell of a lot more than any other merc would put up with. Just what exactly do you want from me?"

Terriana was speechless. There it was: Her opportunity. She looked into Danger's pleading emerald eyes, and all of her thoughts from earlier came rushing back to her; thoughts of moving the human's security center, thoughts of adding her own house name to the security uniforms, thoughts of being safe and secure in Danger's arms, as she was carried slowly down the mountain, thoughts of _not_ converting this room into proper chambers... All the fear and questioning could end right now, right here, in this room, if only she had the courage to speak, and lay out all her secrets.

Terriana closed her eyes and took a breath…

…

…

…

And then let it back out.

She couldn't do it. Not yet, not so soon after the reunion. She needed more time to contemplate, and reflect, and calculate. She mastered herself again, and when she opened her eyes, she saw that Danger was nodding, in a knowing, but almost disappointed way.

"Yea… yea that's kinda what I thought, Matriarch." She shrugged her shoulders in defeat and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. "So tell me. Why are you here?"

Terriana closed her eyes and rubbed her temple. The moment was gone, but she still wanted to at least get Danger back on board with their schedule. "I came here to find out why you were not at the evening meal."

"I explained that."

"I don't accept that explanation."

Danger raised her eyebrows, but did not respond.

Terriana reached across the table and grabbed the cardboard carton Danger had been eating out of. She stirred the noodle substance a couple times, and then took a bite of it, scrunching up her face.

"This is disgusting, Danger. You cannot possibly expect to live on this. I need you fully alert and prepared for anything." She closed the container and dropped it in a nearby canister.

"Hey! That's my dinner! What was that all about?" Danger stared at the matriarch, who merely crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

"That is completely unfit for consumption. What is it, anyway? Some kind of cobweb?"

"No, it's… it's a human dish. Ramen. It's all the rage back on Earth, and Michelle found a guy who is working down in the city as a specialty chef. He's trying to bring a little culture to you poisonous wine guzzling asari."

"I forbid you to ever have that in this compound again."

Danger's jaw dropped and she shook her head, feeling a particularly nasty headache coming on. Terriana had always been a little eccentric, and Danger kind of liked that quality in her… but today she was acting just plain crazy.

_First she chased me up a mountain, then she wouldn't get out of my arms, even for her treatment, and now she's in here pitching a fit over ramen… Ramen! I should have been more specific in the contract, stating she was not to stalk me during down time or something._

She shook her head in wonder at the stone cold asari staring at her from across the room. That contract was supposed to simplify matters, but instead, it seemed to be adding more complications than anything. The matriarch had actually come to the security offices, and thrown away her ramen. Terriana had clearly lost her mind.

Danger leaned forward and buried her face in her hands.

_This can't be happening. _

After a few seconds, she lifted her head.

"Matriarch, what is it you require?"

"I require my bodyguard to actually guard me. That's what I require."

"There is no threat in the dining room, Matriarch." Danger was starting to get a little exasperated, and it was just adding to her already painful frustration at their confusing relationship. She couldn't read Terriana, and she was beginning to wonder if asari her age were even interested in… that level of involvement. Clear this one wasn't, and instead seemed more engrossed in tormenting the mercenary every chance she got.

_I was right Jane, these asari do live just to make individual humans miserable. You better watch out for Liara. I bet that 'innocent and inexperienced maiden' act is just that, an act. She's fucking with you._

"I don't feel safe. What if someone tried to drug the food or the wine, and then came in to kidnap me as I slumbered at the table?"

"Well," Danger considered, "That is a very good point, except if you had gotten drugged from the food or the wine, ten to one, I was too… So, you should actually be happy I'm in here eating ramen instead. If someone poisons and kidnaps you, I can be immediately on the trail."

Terriana opened her mouth to retort, and then closed it again. Danger actually might have the better of her on this round. Time to try a different approach.

"What happened to your face?"

Danger narrowed her eyes. "Exactly what are you trying to say, Matriarch?"

_Now she's going to tell me I'm ugly, to boot. Lovely. Go for it. Kick me while I'm down. I like it._

"I… What? I am not trying to say anything, Danger. You clearly were injured while you were away."

"Right. Well, I'm a mercenary, and mercenaries get into fights sometimes."

Terriana wasn't buying it. Danger was a mercenary, yes, but she wasn't the kind that went looking for trouble. "Did Shepard do that to you? Is that some sort of… human… mating thing?"

"Is it… What? Matriarch, what are you talking about? Mating?" Danger shook her head. That question had just come completely out of nowhere. "No, I got my face bashed in with an assault rifle. It's not a big deal, and no I didn't 'mate' with Jane. Are you crazy? Because you know, you can tell me if you are. Really."

_Wow. That's just… I don't even know what that is._

Terriana barely flinched. "When did you get attacked?"

"Look, it's not a big deal. It won't affect my performance here, and I'll deal with it when my contract is up."

That time the matriarch _did_ flinch. She didn't like the way Danger talked about the contract being up, as if she was really considering leaving when it was over.

"Obviously it is already affecting your duties. You are in here instead of guarding my evening meal. You never know what threat could be present. Perhaps they would use a poison that does not affect humans in the same way as it affects asari." She smirked a little at Danger, almost challenging the human to retort.

Danger closed her eyes and tried very, very hard to keep herself calm. The matriarch was really reaching with that one. The asari were about as similar to humans as an alien species could get, and generally both would succumb to the same types of neurotoxins, though the asari tended to have a more pronounced sensitivity due to their natural telepathic and biotic abilities.

"Matriarch…"

"Damn it, stop _calling_ me that!" Terriana closed her eyes and clenched her fists. Every time Danger used that word to address her, it reminded her of her position in asari society and made her painfully aware that she was no longer a young and attractive maiden. She wanted the human to think of her as her companion and someday, lover, not as an old political windbag with one foot in the grave unable to pursue romance.

The force of the woman's words pushed Danger back in her chair. She had never before heard the matriarch curse, and it was actually kind of scary. The room seemed to darken, and the mercenary thought she saw the beginning glows of an almost black biotic field radiating from Terriana's skin. That was unusual. Up until now, Danger had never seen the asari call forth biotics.

"I… I don't understand. I'm just… being… respectful I guess. I don't know… I mean… I'm not trying to make you feel… I… um… yea." Danger raised her hands in defeat, and wished for the first time she was an asari herself. Maybe if she was and could read Terriana's mind, they wouldn't be going back and forth like this. At the very least, maybe she would know when to stop talking and not end up sounding like a complete idiot.

The matriarch buried her face in her hands and tried to master herself. This was all going so wrong. Danger was acting like a… like a… like a _mercenary_. This was not at all how this night was supposed to go. They were supposed to take the evening meal, and sit in the garden, and life was supposed to go back to normal. Danger was supposed to _want_ to slip back into the routine, but it seemed like the human hadn't missed being here at all. Terriana blinked back a tear, and channeled a small biotic field to focus on, so she didn't have to feel the pain in her chest.

She looked back up at her security officer. "Danger, I requested your presence here instead of another mercenary because of the unique service you are able to provide me. If you are no longer interested in performing the duties I request of you, then I will release you from your contract, and I will settle for a lesser security team."

Danger picked up on the hurt in Terriana's voice as she finished the statement. The human turned her head slightly to the side, and studied the matriarch's face. She now felt a small bit of regret for being so cold when carrying the woman down the mountain, and so glib with the discussion here. The asari's face had aged since Danger was here last, and she hadn't even noticed until now, because she was being a stubborn jerk. It wasn't an obvious aging, and chances are, no one but Danger would even notice, but the human had made it a point to memorize every detail of the matriarch's skin when the woman was distracted, and so she now had a detailed roadmap.

The matriarch had changed during their time apart as well, and it was all her fault. For the very first time in her life, Danger was starting to doubt herself.

_There's something there. There's definitely something there. I should just walk over there and… _

Danger closed her eyes and nodded slowly. When she opened them, the look of fear on Terriana's face immobilized her.

_She thinks I'm saying yes to being released. Please, any god that might be listening, don't let me fuck this up when I open my mouth!_

Danger inhaled, and said, "So, uh…" she wiped her hand across her greasy shirt nervously a couple times. "I hear that Cook has improved her handling of Earthen tomatoes. Rolus told me she's even stopped setting them on fire in protest of their texture. You don't suppose she'll be mad at being kept another hour, do you?" Danger absently tried to push back a particularly unruly lock of hair and held her breath, hoping beyond hope that she didn't just make a complete idiot out of herself. The matriarch looked at her for a few moments, processing the words, and then her face visibly relaxed. Danger exhaled the breath she had been holding, and grinned idiotically.

"No, Danger, I don't think she will be mad. I will have Rolus compensate her."

Danger nodded once, and then stood, walking over to the filing cabinet. She pulled out one of her security shirts, and without thinking, pulled off the gray mess, threw it on the floor, and pulled on the black uniform. Terriana raised her eyebrows and told herself to look away, but Danger's stomach was just as subtly chiseled as her arms were, and the sight of the human's pale skin and the way her cargo pants sat low on her hips awakened flames in the matriarch she had never felt before. She closed her eyes, and shook her head to clear it, only opening them again at the sound of the human's voice, this time somewhere behind her.

"You coming, Matriarch? I'm starving." Danger was leaning against the doorframe, pulling her hair back into a much neater and more manageable tangle at the base of her neck. She crossed her arms, and grinned idiotically.

Terriana stood, unconsciously adjusted her robes, and slowly walked toward the door, trying to compose herself. She stopped just in front of the human, and as she was not able to wear her heeled shoes today due to her injury, she actually had to look up at her bodyguard for once. Quietly, she said, "Danger, I am just Terriana to you."

The matriarch bit her lower lip, and for a split second Danger thought it actually was going to happen… but after a moment the woman seemed to yield to some inner struggle, and she turned away and walked down the hall. The human slowly let out the breath she had been holding.

_Well, I guess that's about as close to an 'I love you' as you are going to get out of her, Darla. It's a start I suppose, and hell, you didn't really want to live on ramen for the next three years, right? Right. _

Danger nodded to herself in satisfaction, and followed the asari diplomat out the door. That night, after the evening meal, she took her place next to the matriarch on 'their' bench to guard her studies. Danger sat like she always did, leaning back lazily and crossing her arms, and Terriana fussed at her datapad, like _she_ always did.

It wasn't _quite_ the same as before, and the mercenary decided it might be best to keep a little physical distance between them so the matriarch could work out internally whatever it was she needed to, but in the end, it still felt like home. Even the glimpse of an unusual shadow in the distance couldn't ruin Danger's mood tonight. She just mentally logged it for future reference, and kicked her left foot a few times to loosen a hidden blade.

Matriarch Terriana didn't have to negotiate with the Alliance to amend Danger's contract, and Danger didn't have to live on ramen.


	44. Chapter 43: Forsworn Oaths

**Chapter 43: Forsworn Oaths**

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, undisclosed location<strong>

The powerful and mysterious woman sat, motionless, and listened to the cool breeze whisper through the leaves that hung loosely on the trees surrounding her. It was late in the night, and she had come out to this particular part of the forest to breathe in the fresh air and relax her weary bones, as she often did at this time in the evening. Since her childhood, she had played and danced in these trees, and now that she was nearing the end of her life, she returned here to meditate and reflect upon the years now behind her.

Justicar Marisa was eight hundred and fifty three years old, and was considered one of the most accomplished of her order. She stood well over six feet tall, which was unusual for her kind, and her facial markings were light; striping across her cheeks in an almost tiger-like fashion. She wore a simple, but elegant, black ensemble of leather armor, and carried only a small six inch blade as her weapon of choice, a holdover from… a darker time in her life.

Now she spent most of her days in reflection, as she no longer had any desire to leave the planet and right wrongs across the galaxy, like some of her brethren did until their deaths. Her task had been fulfilled, and she was now content to remain on the asari home world, traveling the forests and contemplating her life and actions. She occasionally taught the tenets and code to new asari who sought to join the ranks of the elite law bringers, but lately she had not been able to find any peace in even that. Sometimes she was contacted by the Obsidian Order to correct an injustice and render judgment, but they had managed to keep their house relatively clean over the last half century and so her recent days had been rather… quiet and lonely.

She opened her eyes at the feel of footsteps approaching her. There were at least… four… individual gaits from what she could sense from the vibrations along the ground. That was interesting. It was not often than one would attempt to stealthily approach a meditating Justicar and even more seldom that they would do so in such numbers. One could never predict how a Justicar would react, and so most tended to be very direct in getting one's attention, lest they be on the receiving end of an unpleasant execution of justice.

Whoever it was, they must either be incredibly naive… or perhaps merely foolish. Marisa closed her eyes again, and pretended not to notice their approach. She waited calmly, quietly, until the four had nearly advanced to her location, and then used the force of the biotic mass she had been channeling to vault off the ground, flipping backwards and sailing gracefully through the air to land just behind them. She quickly picked out the leader of the group, a young maiden that wore three stripes on the hem of her gown, signifying she was a third century acolyte and was just on the cusp of being fully inducted into the order. Marisa silently drew her blade, put her arm around the girl's waist almost as a lover would, and placed the weapon just underneath the girl's chin.

"Pray tell, who is it that so impolitely interrupts the meditations of a Justicar?"

"Please, please, we were sent! We were sent! The Lady calls! The Lady calls!"

Marisa could feel the girl's fear, and her eyes started to darken as her arm tightened around the younger asari and the sweet scent of blood reached her senses. She had been a little too careless with the blade, and it had lightly pricked the maiden's skin, coaxing the faintest trail of the woman's life essence from her veins. Marisa closed her eyes, and for a second, nearly lost herself in the fires that consumed her in her youth, those unruly flames that forged her body and soul into the machine of destruction she had become.

But she was a Justicar now, and even though she had decided to leave the life of traveling behind, she could not give in to fury and passion and seduce this young maiden, not anymore. She was no longer the vicious and carnal creature forged in the night by those who stole her innocence. Marisa relaxed her grip on the knife, and threw the maiden away from her, spinning the unfortunate woman into the arms of her companions. She took a small cloth out of a pocket in her leather armor, and cleaned the blood off her blade.

"Why do you approach me, in silence, in the middle of the night, in such numbers?"

"We… I am sorry, Justicar. We were told to come get you and bring you directly to the Lady of the Temple. It is a matter of… some importance."

_Is it now…_

"What is this matter that is so important that the Lady felt the need to send four acolytes to their deaths?" She tried to keep her face impassive, but the side of her mouth did turn up slightly in amusement at the look of horror that passed over the girls' faces. Of course, she had no reason to kill the four, as stupidity was not a punishable offense according to the Code, but there was nothing to stop her from scaring the maidens a little. Her brethren might not approve, but they weren't here right now.

"She… I'm… We really don't know, Justicar. Lirilith sent us to get you and bring you to the Lady. She wouldn't say why. Please don't kill us! We haven't broken any laws, I promise!"

Marisa stared at the four, who were huddled together, terrified of the elder asari and what she might do. The leader of the group stood out in particular. The woman had strange triangle markings all across her forehead, neatly in a line. The Justicar had never seen anything like it. It almost looked like a crown, and her eyes were drawn to the trail of blood that was making its way down the young woman's neck, and settling at a point just in the center of her breasts as it passed out of sight. In her younger days, before becoming a law bringer, such a sight would have sent Marisa into a frenzy. Now, it was merely the shadow of an interest, long since numbed and forgotten as the long years of abstinence dominated the flames that once burned in her core.

She returned the blade to its sheath in a single, simple movement, and nodded once at the terrified girl.

"Very well then. I suppose we should not keep the Lady waiting. I will accompany you to the High Seat."

The leader of the acolytes breathed a visible sigh of relief, grabbed the hands of two of her sisters, and nearly ran back to the Temple, as Marisa walked slowly behind them, silently laughing.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thessia, Temple of Athame<strong>

Marisa stepped into the small marble room, and sat down on the floor to wait. She had arrived at the Temple hours after her escort of acolytes, the young girls having been so frightened they ran the entire way here. She allowed herself a short smile, and then began her meditations, calling upon the biotic energy that rested deep within her soul.

It was not until the next day that she was approached by a servant of the Lady, but this woman was far more intelligent than the four girls who had been sent to fetch her. This woman stood in the doorway, and loudly announced herself. Marisa dismissed her biotic field, and stood. The woman nodded at her, and then walked into the small marble room, closing the door behind her. She moved over to the wall, and pressed in six secret locations. She stepped back as the wall fell away and a spiral staircase was revealed.

Marisa knew the drill. She had been to the Lady's chambers several times over the centuries, the religious sect often turning to her in matters of judgment. Though she was not required to by asari law, she removed her small blade and laid it in an alcove on the wall out of respect for the revered mother. Then, she descended into the black depths, calling on her biotics to light the way as the stone door slid shut behind her once more, leaving her in darkness. The servant did not accompany her to the High Seat.

The stairwell was long, and it took Marisa several minutes to reach the ground level. She walked through the small tunnel that connected the Lady's chambers to the entrance, and dismissed her biotic field as she entered the brightly lit main room. As with all of her previous visits, the Temple high priestess was sitting in her simple chair of marble, expressionless. Marisa kneeled at the woman's feet and addressed her.

"Revered Mother, it is good to see you again."

The woman turned her icy stare to the kneeling asari, and her eyes softened. "Get off your knee, Justicar. We have no time for formalities." The high priestess stood and embraced the younger woman. "I know you are not allowed to ask, but your mother is well. I've just left her tending to the gardens. You should think very seriously about leaving this life behind, Marisa. We will not be around forever, you know, and with every day that passes, the time draws nearer. She so wishes to see you again."

Marisa bowed her head so that the older woman wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. By rights, she shouldn't even be here, having sworn to leave behind all worldly possessions as well as family. But, this was a special circumstance, and the rules were different when it came to the head of the Order of the Obsidian Oculus, the woman who held the High Seat of Athame. That she happened to be Marisa's 'father', was not important. The High Seat had the right to invoke the services of any Justicar she chose, and she often chose Marisa.

The Justicar felt a little bit of regret for the choices she had made. Her parents were perfect, the very image of what a couple in love should be, and they cherished her more than anything. They had met when they were both maidens, barely a hundred years old, and had been together their entire lives. Marisa had come shortly after they bonded, and her parents doted on her and gave her everything her heart desired. But, like many children who are confused and need to find themselves, she was restless and wanted more. When she reached one hundred years old herself, she disappeared, not to be seen again by her family until the one day the Lady had sent for the nearest Justicar in proximity to the Temple to render judgment on a vandal who had defaced a statue of Athame, and it happened to be her daughter. Marisa would never forget the look of shock on the high priestess's face when she was once again reunited with her own eyes.

"I cannot respond to that comment, Lady."

"Yes, yes, I know. I know. Still, you should consider it. We are both nearing the thousand year mark, child, and you really should meet your sisters. When we are gone, all you will have is each other, and it will not be long now. I have already started the process of choosing a new High Seat. Soon I will no longer be able to invoke the Temple's agreement with the Justicar Academy to see you."

Marisa lifted her head, but did not respond. She could not respond.

The high priestess of Athame considered the stoic face of her oldest child. "Well, you certainly are a better Justicar than you were a daughter. I suppose you are right, though. We have more important things to discuss, anyway."

"What is it you require, High Priestess?"

The woman returned to her marble chair, and once again her face was a stone cold and impassive mask.

"Justicar Marisa, I need you to track someone, and report to the Temple on all her movements and all of her actions. This is a matter of the utmost importance."

"Is this a matter of Justice?"

"It is not. This is a matter of Faith, and as is my right I am requesting your assistance in this matter."

Marisa was a little surprised, but intrigued. It had been long since she'd had any real adventures; most of her time either being spent in meditation or listening to incredibly boring arguments and counter arguments before rendering a judgment. This promised to be entertaining, if nothing else.

"What do you require of me?"

"Someone has been marked." The high priestess watched the Justicar's reaction closely, wondering if the younger woman would understand the implications of the revelation. She was not disappointed.

"Marked? Do you mean… _The _mark? _Her_ mark? She has chosen someone for herself?"

The elder asari nodded. "She has, and I need you to track this individual down, and if possible, find out _why_ she was marked. I also need you to find out what you can about her companions, but that won't be easy. There is a second player in this little drama that bears the demon mark and has apparently attached herself to a member of the Silver Hand of Palladium. I have spent many days trying to track down leads among the other religious leaders, but the humans aren't talking, and Lirilith has already made enough of a scene stationing her acolytes on the Citadel like an amateur. This needs to be a discreet operation."

"But, surely this job would be better suited for someone else... I know nothing of asari theology and even less about the deities of other races... This is not the sort of thing that a Justicar does… "

"Marisa, I am not asking you because of your Justicar background or because I want you to figure out what Athame is up to… I am asking you because of your other talents… and because I can trust this with no one else. It is imperative that we get this information."

Marisa closed her eyes, and bowed her head. Her 'father' knew of the time she spent in the Order of the Black Wing. She hadn't been surprised the first time the high priestess had made a passing comment about her 'other' talents. The Temple had limitless resources and her parents would have been able to keep tabs on her, even while she was hidden among the thieves and assassins. It was foolish to think that perhaps, somehow, her indiscretion had gone unnoticed. She regretted her time spent there now. Perhaps, her life would have turned out differently, if that day had never happened…

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Memories<strong>_

_She had been playing in the trees, a little game of hide and seek she had developed on her own. She would select a target, often some sort of small animal or an insect that would easily spook, and focus solely on that creature. She would silently dart in and out of the shadows, advancing on her prey, and as she approached, she would gauge how far out of hiding she could push before giving herself away. It was a silly game, sneaking up on animals in the forest the way she did, but she spent most of her time alone, the other children in her class thinking her too strange to include in their group games. It didn't help that her parents were both acolytes at the Temple, and many times she had wished she had been born as anyone else in the world so she could have had friends, and maybe even lovers._

_But that was not to be her fate. She was an outcast, and as such, she passed the long hours alone in the forest, making friends with the shadows and bedding down with the night. This was how she spent her time after graduating from the asari maiden training that all young women were expected to complete. Day after day, she came here and slipped in and out of the trees, dancing with the darkness and stepping in and out of the moonlight. Night after night, she spent her time alone, honing her natural skills and dreaming away the hours, as a silent figure stood in the distance, and watched. _

_It was one such bright and clear night on which her life was to change forever. One small event was to send her spiraling into an endless cycle of vicious hatred and revenge, and it would be centuries before she would be able to put it behind her. _

_On this particular night she danced in and out of the trees as the shadowy figured watched, and waited. One step over the next, she slipped in and out of the rays of moonlight that shone through the leaves. Her eyes were closed, as she didn't need to see where she was going, having long ago memorized every slight nuance about this forest. She knew every step, and every foothold; every place where the moonlight disturbed the velvet night. She knew the feel of every tree against her hands, and the level of flex each could endure before snapping back as she pushed away and spun to her next location. She weaved her way through the trees, slowly and silently approaching the large purewood that was her nightly stopping point. The figure watched, as the magnificent specimen of stealth effortlessly twirled in the moonlight, and when the young maiden had reached her goal at the end of the forest, she sprang into action and pinned the suddenly frightened woman against the large tree. _

"_You have the gift," the night figure whispered, wrapping her arms around the dancer and holding the woman's hands firmly behind her back._

"_I… who are you?" Marisa was immobilized if not by the mysterious figure's body pinning her; then surely by the almost dusky skin and stark black eyes, uncharacteristic of their kind, intently searching her own light blue. Her assailant was as tall as she was, as strong as the purewood she had her back to, and as dangerous as the night. Marisa knew in her mind that she should be screaming, or running, or trying to escape the steel grip that held her, but it was strangely exhilarating to be so commanded by another… The maiden felt her body starting to betray her, responding of its own volition to the stranger's unspoken demands. _

_The figure did not reply, instead studying the younger woman's face from every angle, weaving her head slowly back and forth in a seductive and almost snakelike way, inhaling the young maiden's scent and committing the moment to memory. It had been hundreds of years since someone exhibited the gift in such unadulterated and magnificent form, and this was not an opportunity the Order of the Black Wing could afford to let pass by. She noticed the effect her movements were having on the young maiden, and was surprised at the sudden realization that the girl had never before joined._

'_Perhaps, though,' she reflected, 'it should not be so surprising. Those of us with the gift are often… shunned…" She recalled her own induction into the Order so many centuries ago, by an instructor who had not been so very different than she was now… and she softly inhaled in anticipation. The young woman's form felt so exquisite against her, and she could almost taste the fear and curiosity that radiated from the maiden's mind as her body instinctively responded to the crackling electricity in the air and the master assassin's subtle movements._

"_You do not belong here," she whispered, as she adjusted her leverage and placed the woman's arms around her own back. She gripped the bark of the tree and pulled herself forcefully against the maiden, seductively lowering her eyes and leaning close. Marisa's mind was screaming at her to resist, but just as she thought she had found the will to use her arms to push the stranger away, a low growl escaped the assassin's throat, sending lightning through her. "You belong with us… you belong with me…" The figure's face nearly disappeared into the night as she closed her eyes and descended upon the maiden's lips, feeling the trembling woman grip into her back with the ferocity and passion that presented itself only in those who had the Dark Mother's favor. _

_Marisa didn't know what to do. Her senses were reeling and she couldn't understand this deep and very insistent attraction for the dusky skinned and much older asari. Her eyes involuntarily switched to obsidian, and she lost all sense of time and all thought of resistance as she felt the mysterious stranger enter her mind, and pull her body down into the soft grass. Marisa blacked out and offered up her soul as she completely surrendered to the dangerous and shadowy figure that had approached her in the darkness. _

_The young maiden would never be the same again._

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Thessia, Temple of Athame<strong>_

"Marisa, I need you to focus."

The Justicar forced her mind back into the present and shook her head a little to clear it. She could not let the past start to haunt her again. Those days were behind her, and she had to let them go.

"I apologize, Lady. Please, continue."

"I need you to track her movements, and find out what she is doing here. See what information you can get about the others as well. The Demon and the Hand are currently together, though that may change."

"Very well, Lady. In accordance with asari Law and the Justicar Code, I accept this task. Who is the Marked, and where will I find the Demon and the Hand?"

"The Marked is a human named Darla Vance and she is here on Thessia. The Demon is the daughter of Benezia T'Soni. She currently is located on a starship commanded by the Hand, a human named Jane Shepard. I trust that will be all you need to get started."

Marisa's eyes widened in shock. "A human was Marked? Surely you must be joking. Are you sure you haven't mixed her and the Demon up?"

The high priestess's face remained impassive. "I assure you, Justicar, I am not joking. Athame has marked a human as her consort, and we need to know why. She is currently here on Thessia, working as a bodyguard to Matriarch Terriana. I feel certain the matriarch is somehow involved in all of this as well, but though I have reviewed all the ancient texts, I cannot find anything that explains to me why. I found a small bit of information regarding the Demon, but it was vague. I have no information on the Hand. The humans have not been cooperative."

"Terriana? This gets stranger and stranger, Lady. Why does she work for Terriana, and why does the matriarch not have commando bodyguards?"

"No one knows, Justicar. She had Yhamira for a short time, who as I understand is one of the best available and freshly graduated from training, but she dismissed her after only a couple weeks. This human has been handling her security, and the two are almost always seen together. There are some… rumors… as well, but we have not been able to confirm whether or not they are lovers. This is where you come in, Marisa. You are the only one I know of, and more importantly, the only one I can trust, to get close enough without being noticed. I would entrust this knowledge to nothing less than a Justicar, but for a mission as delicate as this one, we require nothing less than an assassin..."

Marisa closed her eyes, and nodded. No matter how much it pained her every time her 'father' said that word, she could not deny her dark past. "Very well then, Lady. I accept."

The high priestess smiled, and reached for Marisa, but the Justicar had already turned and covered the distance through the tunnel to the staircase. The Lady sat there for a few moments more, hand outstretched, until she heard the sound of stone sliding open, and then sliding shut. Her daughter was once again gone.

She sighed, and motioned to the wall behind her. The stone there slid away to reveal an aging asari, who approached the stone chair and climbed up to sit on the high priestess's lap. She wrapped her arms around her mate's neck, and closed her eyes sadly.

"She looks so young, Siri."

"I know she does, my love," the Lady of the Temple replied, as she gently stroked the smaller woman's head. "She looks like you."

"Why doesn't she see how much we miss her?"

"She does, my heart, she does. She is still punishing herself for… something. I wish we knew what. She will have to think in earnest now though. I revealed to her that I must appoint a new High Seat. She will do the right thing, before the end. And if she doesn't, I am sure that Sarisa will seek her out and get her to see reason."

High Priestess Siri looked down at the woman she had loved for well over eight hundred years of her life, and sighed softly, trying to hold in her tears. "I am weary, my love. Let us retire."

She felt the woman nod into her shoulder and grip her tightly. Siri gathered her mate up in her arms, kissed the woman on her forehead, and carried her into their private rooms.


	45. Chapter 44: Back to the grindstone

**A/N**

I apologize for the delay. I have been working on some other projects, but I haven't lost interest in this story. I wasn't going to publish this chapter until I had the 'talk' polished and ready to go, but people are starting to wonder if I'm still alive. I really want the next dialogue sequence to be big and emotional, so it's taking a while to put together in my head.

Anyway, I am publishing this chapter and we can expect the chat hopefully sometime this weekend, and then it's on to more big adventures. Thanks!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 44: Back to the grindstone<br>**

**-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters**

Commander Jane Shepard made her way back through the citadel docking level to her vessel, thinking in earnest about getting back to the task at hand. It had been nice to take a break and train the crew, but it was always in the back of her mind that sooner or later she was going to have to get back to work, and it looked like that time was now. The Alliance may not have been particularly fond of Salarians, but it was only a matter of time before Anderson would be getting on her back about why she hadn't yet looked into the AWOL reconnaissance team on Virmire. It was time to get moving.

Jane punched her access code into the airlock console, and stepped into the decontamination chamber. She closed her eyes as the beam cleansed her, and waited patiently as it moved back and forth across her body. She really hated that thing, but it was far better than what some of her crew had to endure. She was reminded in a way of Tali and her situation. The young quarian went through the equivalent of this decontamination step every second of her existence. Jane wished there was something she could do, but there wasn't a soul in the universe that could help the quarians now. It was too late. She shook her head and straightened her uniform shirt.

She stepped onto the vessel, and nodded to Joker as she strode past. She needed a shower and time to think about things, and some much-needed rest. She would seek out the gunnery chief the next morning and prep the team, but now, she just wanted some alone time to sort through her thoughts. During the events of the last few weeks, there hadn't been much time to really examine her dreams, and something was nagging at the back of her mind. There was something she was supposed to learn from these visions; something she was supposed to 'get'. It couldn't be just stress-induced nightmares. There had to be more to it, some sort of hidden depth that she was missing.

_I need to get a handle on these dreams and what they mean. Are they really over now that I have… I guess… made it to the end? Is that it? Will I visit the Platinum Wonderland again, or am I just out here on my own now? What is with the swords, anyway? I don't think I have ever even seen a real sword, not even back on Earth. Damn. It's all so… medieval. Is there time to go back and talk to Sha'ira again? She might know whether there is any significance._

She thought about it as she opened the airlock to her quarters and stepped inside, moving toward the trunk that housed her things. The elder asari was wise and powerful and surely would have invaluable insight about the matter, but Jane hesitated. Maybe going back to Sha'ira wasn't such a good idea. It might hurt Liara again, and at some point, she was going to have to start trusting the young woman with more than just glib comments about missions while running behind her back to confide in someone else. Trust didn't come easily to Jane Shepard, but if there was any hope of this relationship lasting, she was going to have to try. There were things that Liara deserved to know, and there were things that Jane deserved to be able to tell her. No, her time with Sha'ira, at least for now, had to come to a close.

_What I should do is take the next few nights while we are getting to Virmire to practice the hiding techniques, and then talk to Liara about these dreams. She will want to see them, and I should let her. She trusted me with stories of her past, and she risked her life to come after me on that pirate ship. It's time I showed her she's important enough to me to know who I am as well… even if it eventually causes her to walk away._

Jane opened the trunk and pulled out some casualwear, quickly removing her current uniform and slipping into the more comfortable attire. She took her seat at the console, and tapped her fingers lightly on the table, considering, as the reflection of her dark eyes stared back at her out of pale skin on the monitor.

_It's interesting, isn't it, how I have spent my entire life locking my emotions away; smoothing them over so that no one would ever see a crack of weakness, and now I want to spill it all out at the worst possible time. I should be focusing on being prepared for whatever awaits on Virmire, not how to tell Liara I'm going nuts. _

She smiled to herself, and switched on the console. She wasn't going nuts, but sometimes it sure felt like it.

"What the hell?" Jane shook her head in annoyance as the screen flickered to life and a rather distasteful scene unfolded involving what looked like two asari maidens… doing… things with some… unrecognizable substance…

_Darla, I'm going to kill you. No, like for real this time. This is just disgusting beyond words. _

She reached up and switched the console off just as the title appeared: _Two maidens, one chalice._

_What in the hell is wrong with her? And she says that 'I' need to get laid? That is just so far beyond disgusting I can't even describe it. There should be a law against even filming something like that. Darla has too much free time on her hands. I'll have to see if Tali can… unhook… whatever it is Darla did to patch that in. How embarrassing… Gosh…_

She swiveled around in the chair and looked at her bed. It was a welcoming sight, if an empty one. Jane closed her eyes and smiled, thinking about the few nights she had been lucky enough to wake up next to Liara. Those were the happiest mornings she could remember, and she wanted that feeling for the rest of her life.

_I want every single day to be like that. It's so unfair that we have this distance getting forced between us all the time. I just want to… to go home and forget about all of this shit that's going on. Everyone else in the world gets to have a happy and peaceful life with a mate of their choosing, but not me. No, I have to save the fucking universe. No happiness for Jane Shepard, only work, work, work._

Jane laughed out loud at her self-pity, and stood up from the chair. She stretched to the ceiling, and nearly fell forward on her tip toes, smiling as her injured ankle actually locked down and stopped her from hitting the floor. Ironic. She laid down on the bed and put her hands behind her head. It was time for a little rest, and even though it felt empty without Liara beside her, she still felt the asari's presence on the ship. The medbay wasn't far from her quarters, and she could almost see the young woman sitting at her console, burying herself in visions from the past. It would have to be enough, for now. She had to focus on getting her thoughts under control, and then she could move forward with Liara.

_So, how should I approach this? How do you tell someone you think you are going crazy? _

She laid there and thought about it for a long time, just staring quietly at the ceiling. There was no sound other than the whirring of the engines as they idled, no doubt being serviced by Adams and the rest of the crew while they were docked. She heard no hint of activity, and there was no indication that anyone was walking around the hallways outside. All was still, as if the universe were waiting on her to make a move or some kind of decision. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply; enjoying the clean air and thanking whatever gods might be listening for her friends, who came through and rescued her when she needed them the most.

_They all came for me. They all banded together under Ash's leadership and made it happen. I guess I understand why fate chose us for this task. Surely there has never been a crew like this before. The talents that these individuals possess are remarkable, and even though we are almost all completely different, hailing from different worlds and different backgrounds, we are a family. I'm glad to count them among my friends. We're chasing the end of the world, and the end of the world is starting to let us catch up. There's no better bunch to be facing down fate with._

Jane rolled over and exhaled a large breath. Her thoughts were turning morbid again, and she couldn't afford to keep getting distracted. It was time to get some sleep, and tomorrow she would get the crew prepped for the next mission. She would talk to Ash, and then maybe have a short chat with Liara. She didn't want to get into the whole thing regarding her dreams right away, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea to delay or try to avoid the issue again. The last time she did that, the results were catastrophic. She had been so focused on keeping secrets from the young scientist that she stopped being aware of what was happening around them, and it nearly got her killed.

Liara deserved better than that, and it was time Jane started acting like the highly trained operative she was. It was her duty to protect Liara, and not just because of her personal interest in the matter. It was her responsibility to protect them all, and she couldn't do that unless she could sort through the fog that was currently clouding her judgment. But, that didn't mean she couldn't reach out a little bit and draw some comfort from the one she was in love with…

_This is my job. I'm here to protect this crew, and to stop Saren from finding this conduit he wants. Tomorrow I will talk with Liara. We'll have dinner in here and I'll find some way to talk to her about all of this. I won't let her in my head just yet, but I have to tell her what's going on. She deserves to have all the facts so she can make a decision whether or not to… continue… with me. _

The thought hurt her a little, but she knew in her heart it was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do, and maybe, Liara would have some insight into the matter of these dreams. The worst that could happen was she would walk away and not want to deal with any of it, and to Jane, that just might be the worst thing that could happen… but if she did, at least Jane would know that she had been completely honest and had done everything the right way.

Commander Jane Shepard wrapped herself around her pillow, sighed one last time, and allowed the night to take her.

* * *

><p><strong><em>-Nightmares<em>**

_So, she was here again. Interesting. It wasn't to end with her ascension of the silver stair._

_The throne stood before her, but it was empty. The winged being she had seen before was nowhere to be found, and neither were the swords that welcomed her to this place. There was no sound, and it seemed that even the gentle silver tint that covered everything fell flat this night. It was the same place she had been before, but it wasn't the same as it was before. Something was changing; tarnishing the polished metals of which this miraculous place was constructed. Something was… causing the place to… age. Something was not right. _

_She turned around, but the stairway was gone. She was alone on the platform, except for the swirling glass souls that she stood upon. They offered her no insight, however, instead spinning over one another in an effort to escape their prison. Jane wondered what it was they had done to deserve such a fate, but understanding the mind of a god was an exercise in futility. _

A god?

_Yes, she supposed. There was no other explanation, really. Either she truly was going mad, or she had been touched by something that wasn't of this world…_

Or maybe, it's more of this world than any of us realizes….

_It was possible. Only a god would have access to souls, and only a god could bring her to this place and ask of her the things he did. She thought back as hard as she could to her days in Alliance training, grasping for any small tendril of knowledge that would help to explain what she was seeing and experiencing. She sifted through the vague memories and tried to sort through them in an intelligent way. There were all manner of tales, ranging from reasonable to ridiculous, but none of them quite sounded like what she was seeing now. _

I don't know who he is. And now that I have done what he wanted, now that I have arrived, I don't know what to do. Maybe… Maybe I should seek someone out who knows about these things… Who do I know that could possibly understand?

_She thought about it for a while, and suddenly nodded her head. There was one person who might have an idea who the mysterious god was. There was one person she had come across in her travels that wasn't afraid to give a name to the one she believed in. There was one person who might have valuable insight into the dreams and what was going on._

Doctor Warren. I wonder where she ended up. Did she stay on Eden Prime? I will have to contact Anderson and find out, if I ever return to my world.

_That decided, Jane sat down in front of the throne and just stared at it. The chair was massive, and she thought she could almost see what it had been like when it was first constructed. How it must have shone! What a sight it must have been, to see the platinum winged creature sit upon it, and look down on the universe as its inhabitants slowly ascended to kneel before him. She could almost hear the wailing souls pleading their cases before the mighty Platinum god, all begging for mercy or forgiveness. She could almost see him waving a hand, moving most of them to a table behind him, but some of them into the glass floor. She could almost see it all, his might and majesty, his pain and turmoil, his fury and vengeance. She could almost see the dawn of time. _

_But now… now something was missing. The chair wasn't in as good repair as she had thought it was when last she was here. Slivers of silver were chipping off, and the metal was dulled and tarnished. Ages had passed, and its luster waned. The once brightly polished silver seemed to weep with regret, and it vibrated lightly with remembered reverberations of the song of the swords. She didn't know why, but… it made her sad. _

_Jane removed her shirt and tore it down the front and back, splitting it in two. It was perhaps a foolish gesture, and there was no way that she could restore the chair to the beauty and majesty it once was, but she could think of nothing else to do, here on this silent platform. She took one half of the shirt, lifted herself to her knees before the structure, and started to polish. She could feel the pain of all the ages beneath her hand, and she closed her eyes. She allowed it to channel through her, almost as if she were a conduit. Tears fell freely, and she made no move to wipe them from her cheek. Instead, she picked up the other half of her shirt and stood before the throne. _

I have arrived, and I will restore you to your former glory.

_It seemed to her almost as though the throne… acknowledged her. It almost seemed a little brighter… a little more… hopeful. It was hard to tell whether it was just an imagining in her fevered mind or if it was truly imbued with some sort of mysterious life force, so she just leaned forward and resumed polishing, carefully running both hands across the surface. Pieces of silver poked through the cloth and bit at her skin, but it was a minor nuisance and she had already shed much blood on the journey here. A little more wouldn't make much of a difference. Her tears fell and her hands bled, and the sweat on her brow salted the mixture lightly as she cleaned away the tarnish of the ages. _

_Hours, she spent, lovingly polishing every curve, every crevasse, and every abnormality in the silver surface. Hours, she cried, and bled on the platinum structure, without even fully understanding from whence the anguish came. Hours, she sang, and filled the silent air with her own version of the song of the swords. _

_Hours, she spent, preparing her destiny. _

_She couldn't hear him, and she couldn't see him, but somehow, she sensed that he was watching her, and he was pleased. After an age, she closed her eyes, stood up, and turned to face the universe. She lifted her bloodied rags to the heavens, presenting her gift, and it seemed to her that the scene shimmered before her vision; a ripple in the darkness, and then a mighty breath forced her back, pinning her to the seat. She struggled frantically to get loose, fearing his wrath should he see her trespass, but a silver hand descended upon her and stilled her movements. It had been his breath that had forced her into the seat, but she was not afforded time to contemplate its meaning. Not here._

_A wave of silver ice shattered the crystalline universe, and carried Jane away into the darkness…_

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's quarters<strong>

It was morning, and for once, Commander Jane Shepard awoke refreshed. She was on the right track, and something about the dream the previous night had set her mind at ease. She wasn't going crazy; there was something else at work here. She didn't really understand the full significance of being set on his platinum throne, but she was sure that he was on her side and that was a comforting thought. Even if his power was waning, he was offering what assistance he could to her; letting her know that all of his resources and power were at her disposal.

She didn't think that Liara would believe it, as she remembered the young asari's comments regarding her own peoples' deity, Athame, but at least now Jane would be able to articulate what she thought was happening. At least now, she understood that there was a point to all of it, and she wasn't just getting toyed with by the powers that be for 'kicks'. Liara might think she was going mad, but Jane would have to deal with that eventuality when, if, it came. She could keep her secrets no longer.

Jane stood up and undressed, leaving her clothes in an unceremonious heap on the floor. She would worry about cleaning the living space up later. Right now, she had to get a quick shower and get ready to go talk to the gunnery chief. Then, she would get Liara and have a long talk with her about… everything.

She quickly washed up, and then put on her started to reach for the small table where she always kept her weapons, but remembered that her pistol was gone. Her assault and sniper rifle were alone on the table. Red's crew had taken her small firearm when they had captured her, and she hadn't found it among the weapons she had discovered in their armory.

_Red probably kept it as a trophy or something. The pistol of Jane Shepard. He might actually get a fair bit of creds for it. Low life._

She drew her hand back and adjusted her shirt. She would get a new gun from Ash hopefully today. Jane exited her quarters and made her way down to the garages, thinking about what she was going to say to the gunnery chief. Now that she'd had some time to really reflect on the previous missions, it seemed foolish to replace an experienced soldier like Ash with an asari scientist. It was disrespectful, and if Jane had been thinking with her head instead of her heart, she would have never made that decision. She felt especially bad about it now, after seeing the way that the chief really stepped up to the plate to get the crew mobilized to take on Red.

_Well, at least I got that report to Alliance Command. I do have your back, gunny, even if I've been mostly an ass lately. _

Jane nodded curtly at the various officers as she strode through the command deck, smiling at an obviously hung over Pressly rubbing his temple. Satisfied that the navigator had things under control despite his discomfort, she continued down the hall to the lower deck, and boarded the elevator to the garage level.

_I wonder if she remembered to get me a new pistol. I'm feeling kind of naked. _

The elevator opened, allowing her to exit, and Jane smiled to herself as she approached the gunnery chief. Williams was at her usual station, polishing and cleaning weapons. The woman would never change. She was always in the same place, and she was always performing the same tasks. Jane inwardly thanked any gods that might be listening for putting Chief Williams on Eden Prime. The quality of their weapons and armor had increased tenfold since the chief had come aboard, and Jane was grateful for having one less thing to worry about.

"How is everything looking, Ash?" Jane nodded towards the boxes of thermal clips and various weapons surrounding the chief and tried not to grin too obviously at the sight.

"Well Commander, we are in better shape than we were a couple weeks ago, that's for sure. I got rid of the duds, and Garrus and I spent the entire day yesterday testing each and every clip. We have some new upgrades as well." She lifted a rifle and handed it to the commander. "New recoil damper and new heat sink. Really sharp stuff."

Jane accepted the weapon and sighted down the barrel, curling herself around the mid-sized machine of destruction. She could feel the change in the weight, and knew that the upgrades were well worth the creds. She handed the gun back and smiled. "Good job, Ash."

"That's not all." Ashley turned around and opened a locker. She removed a small pistol from a hidden compartment, and grinned mischievously at Jane. "I didn't forget your request, Commander. We got you a new pistol. Here, see how that one fits."

Jane raised an eyebrow, but accepted the gun. She considered its weight for a moment, and then turned it over to look at the bottom. Stamped on the base was the logo of Jormangund Technology, and she looked up at Ash in surprise. Immediately she reversed her hand and fell into a fighting stance, smiling in satisfaction at the feel of the weapon in her hand and the counterbalance it added to her form. It was slightly heavy for a pistol, but Jane Shepard was in excellent shape and if necessary, she could always draw on the platinum to help her along.

_Hmm… I wonder if I really ought to be leaning on that so much. Could there be a price later on I will have to pay? After we sort out Virmire, we will have to make sure to go see Dr. Warren. I need to get her take on all of this._

There could very well be a price she would have to pay somewhere down the road, but she would have to cross that bridge when she came to it. For now, she needed all the help she could get, and a little extra oomph here and there to ease the burden of this magnificent weapon surely wouldn't inflate the cost dramatically. She really wanted to squeeze off a few rounds, but the Normandy garage was not the place to be firing a pistol. She would go ashore to the Allaince training area and play with her new weapon later.

"This is a great gun, Ash. Where did you guys get it?"

The gunnery chief shook her head. "You don't want to know, Commander. Let's just say that we all have gotten a little more familiar with the darker side of the universe over the last few weeks than we really should have. Enjoy the weapon, but don't ask too many questions about where it came from. Plausible deniability, and all that. You understand."

Jane attached the pistol to her armor and nodded. Ash was right, of course. A lot of the things they were doing were in the gray areas of Alliance law. But then again, she was a Spectre. If she wanted to carry a pistol that was only available through secret and… not so legal… channels, she was within her rights to. Still, she didn't want to make Ash uncomfortable with a lot of prying questions. As it was, the gunnery chief had done her job, and had even gone a little beyond what was required. She could find no fault with the woman and there was no reason to turn this into an interrogation.

"That's fine, Ash. We might have to break a few more eggs before this omelet is done. You did great. I actually came down here for a different reason, though."

"Oh?" Chief Williams leaned against the locker and crossed her arms, curious as to what the commander wanted.

Jane bit her lower lip and considered what to address first. After a few moments of internal debate, she settled on the least complicated issue. "How is Tali holding up?"

"Tali? Well, she hasn't come out of engineering all day, so I can't really say for sure. She's trying to drown herself in work. I think she misses your friend."

Jane nodded. That was what she had been afraid of. "Do you think we should keep her out of the field for a bit? Give her some time to... I guess get over it?"

Ashley narrowed her eyes. "Well, Commander, I suppose if you don't feel she can perform the job then yes, she should be left behind." Jane noticed the edge in the soldier's voice and mentally kicked herself for not foreseeing the direction this could take.

_Well there's nothing for it now. I would have had to address this sooner or later. So much for dealing with the least complicated issue first, Jane. Good job. You managed to turn the least complicated question into the most complicated answer. _

Jane took a deep breath. "Ash, that's not why I left you behind on those missions. I left you behind because I wasn't being a very good soldier, and let my emotions cloud my judgment. It's not easy for me to admit that to you, considering how far I outrank you, but I hope you realize by now that I have come to rely on you and your opinions. I don't think that your rank tells the whole story, and I can't imagine what this mission would be looking like today if I didn't have you to lean on."

Jane crossed her own arms and gave the gunnery chief her very best 'I'm completely sincere and don't want you to take that shit personally' face, and hoped that somehow the chief would understand.

Ash just leaned there against the locker, studying the commander. She wasn't really mad, and she actually secretly hoped that her superior officer's relationship with the asari worked out. It might have been a little vicarious living, but in her heart she believed in romance and if a small light could shine in the midst of all this madness, she would help it along any way she could. Yes, she was disappointed when Jane had left her behind, but that was mostly because she wanted to impress the commander and hoped that word would get back to Alliance Command, not because she really felt that the missions were doomed without her. The Alliance loved Jane Shepard, and Ash wanted to be remembered as a part of the Shepard team.

"It's fine, Commander. I don't really think that. I may have been a little miffed at the start, but I understand why you brought T'Soni with you and chose to replace me instead of Tali."

Jane inwardly breathed a sigh of relief, and then uncrossed her arms. "Well, I'm taking you with me to Virmire. It will be you, me and Liara, so I want you to make sure that she is outfitted with the best of this." Jane indicated the weaponry Ash was working on. "I know that she isn't proficient in a lot of these, but do what you can with her. If there are any new amps on the market, go ahead and get her one of those as well."

"That's a good idea, Commander. Something has changed in her over the last few weeks. Her biotics have gotten stronger, somehow. I'll make sure she has the hardware to match her newfound confidence. I don't understand what it is exactly, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to be on her bad side these days."

Jane chuckled and clasped the gunnery chief on the shoulder. "Me either, Ash. Me either. Go ahead and make sure that everyone is fully armed and ready. It will take a day or two to get to Virmire, so you have some time to get the crew outfitted. Pull out all the stops. Everyone gets top of the line guns. Do me a favor as well, and make sure that Garrus has the Mako ready to go groundside. I know he's been fiddling with that stupid AI, so I want to make sure that we aren't going to have a Geth situation because he just couldn't leave well enough alone."

Chief Williams nodded and suppressed a smile. "Yes ma'am. I'll make sure that everything is ready before we drop. You can count on me, Commander."

Jane nodded and stepped back, saluting her officer. "I know I can gunny. I'll see you tomorrow."

She turned on her heel and left the garage, heading for sickbay.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Garages<strong>

Chief Ashley Williams returned to her work, gathering up some of the thermal clips that she and Garrus had tested. All of them had tested good, but she felt that a few were somehow, less sturdy than others. It was probably just her imagination, but after the horror she experienced on the Pitony III when all of her weapons had failed, she was taking no chances with equipment that felt even the slightest bit wrong. She closed a box that she had been tossing her rejects into, and slapped a label on it that said 'returns'. Garrus would pick it up later and take it back to the weapons store they had purchased the clips from.

She picked up the rifle she had been showing off to the commander, and laid it on the table next to her, where some other rifles were queued to be cleaned. She had already serviced all the weapons at least twice, but there was nothing wrong with being thorough. If they failed in this mission, it wouldn't be because Ashley Williams had been derelict in her duties. She turned back around, and nearly jumped out of her skin as she came face to face with a grinning Lieutenant Alenko.

"Damn, where did you learn to sneak up on people like that, LT?"

Lieutenant Alenko grinned and leaned against the table. "It's a talent. I have many, believe it or not."

Ash narrowed her eyes and turned her head slightly, almost daring him to finish that thought. "Well, stealth is definitely one of them. How are you feeling, anyway? Poor Pressly can barely stand up. I still can't believe you two played a drinking game with a hanar. That was just stupid. You had to have known you'd be feeling that for a solid week."

Kaidan rubbed his temple and winced, remembering the night. He wasn't in as bad of shape as Pressly was, but the amount of alcohol he had consumed still had taken its toll. Even two days later, he and the navigator were under the weather. Hanar certainly had an advantage over humans in the drinking department. "Yea well, boys will be boys, you know. Thanks for bailing me out of that, by the way. Liara was right; Pressly is definitely… not interested in women. He was getting pretty handsy before you showed up."

Ashley rolled her eyes. She knew Kaidan was trying to get some sympathy out of her, but she ignored it and didn't comment. Pressly may have been drinking, but he was behaving like an officer, at least when Ash had strolled up to the table. Whatever the man's personal preference might have been, he didn't step over the line with the younger soldier.

"So, what are you doing down here, anyway?"

Kaidan straightened up and nodded to the chief. "Well, I just came down here to see if you needed any help with getting these sorted out." He gestured to the table where the rifles were. "I saw the boxes being brought aboard, and well, there's a lot of weaponry to go through. I thought you could use a hand."

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams considered for a moment. She didn't believe for a second that Kaidan was actually down here because he didn't have enough work to do, but something about the gesture struck her as… sweet.

"All right, LT. All these rifles are ready to be serviced, and I still have a box of clips to sort through."

Kaidan smiled warmly at her, and pulled up an ammunitions case to sit on. He reached for the first of the rifles, and skillfully disassembled it as Ash pulled up her own ammunitions case next to him and started rummaging through the box of clips.

The Normandy crews' weaponry had never been serviced so many times in one night.


	46. Chapter 45: The means

**A\N – **Well, ME3 is out and some parts of my story, most notably Liara's lineage, are now AU. I'm not changing it though, and may incorporate the bartender into the story somehow… I don't know. I find their story boring. So I'm leaving it.

As far as the length of time between updates – yea this took me a lot longer than I expected. I've been distracted with an exam and work and a few other things, but that is coming back under control. I do not plan to drop the story because there is still a whole lot of story to tell, and I am enjoying this far too much. Thanks for the interest!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 45: The means<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>-Halls of Platinum, Sitting area <strong>

"_Are you going to pull her here every time she sleeps now?"_

_Athame was absently fingering a few of her game pieces, contemplating the board and recent events. She barely spared a glance at him, but she could feel how pleased he was with himself and with his creation. _

"_Of course not. Just until she understands."_

_Inwardly, Athame shrugged and turned her attention back to the game board and the pieces she was holding. They weren't very important as far as the fate of the universe was concerned, but she wanted to place them carefully nonetheless. She had gotten sloppy, and it had very nearly cost them the war. She would have to be more careful from now on, to ensure that he didn't find out about her little side bet, and to make sure that his Champion had the resources she needed to do the impossible. If they failed this time, it wouldn't be because Athame had withheld assets or made poor decisions. This time, she had much at stake, and she could not allow it to be lost. _

_Athame waved a hand dismissively. "She understands, and if she doesn't by now, then your children certainly could have benefitted from some of Keelah's gifts. Perhaps we shouldn't have been so eager to part ways."_

_He studied her carefully, trying to determine whether she was joking or not. In the end, he decided she was just teasing him. When he had suggested the split at the dawn of the last age, she was the first to rally to his side. Long had she wanted complete reign over her creations, and long had she wanted a race built solely in her image. He was not surprised to learn that she had made a species consisting of entirely maternal creatures, and he was even a little impressed. In that one act, she had managed to sidestep all of the unfortunate issues that had kept his children fighting amongst themselves for centuries and ultimately from discovering the relays and citadel first. He was still proud of his humans, because once they got out of their own way they made progress faster than anyone else… But still, they might have been a lot further along if he had made a few different design choices. _

_He leaned forward over the board, his long platinum hair falling forward across his chiseled cheek. "Hmmm. Are you sure that you do not want to place anyone with this group?" He was looking at a team of three dark-skinned humans, two sisters and a brother, who were exploring the galaxy and trying to make a name for themselves. _

_Athame barely spared them a glance. She had other things on her mind, such as keeping her meddling High Seat out of her affairs and ensuring that no one got killed by the insufferable woman's overzealous assassin daughter. They were getting a little out of hand, and she needed to rein them in before they found out too much about some of the walking gifts she had bestowed upon Thessia. It wasn't time, and she wasn't ready._

I should have never encouraged worship. Those women have caused me nothing but trouble since day one.

_Still, she needed to continue working with Palladium to build the new world, and should they manage by some miracle to thwart the machine-gods this time, the addition of his bloodlines to hers would make her daughters an even greater force to be feared. She was particularly interested in seeing what came out of the pairing of his Champion and her demon. It was even possible that after a few more centuries of this back and forth banter, he would finally see the wisdom in her methods and allow some evolutionary changes to his humans so they, too, could benefit from adding bloodlines from the other species. Then, their total domination in the galaxy would be as complete on the physical worlds as it already was in the heavens. Humans and asari would rule all the other races._

_She gestured behind her and several pieces gracefully floated toward the board. Palladium stared blankly at her, slowly blinking. She never missed a chance to show off her biotics, or her multitasking abilities. While she was considering where to place the pieces she was absently fingering in her left hands, she used her right to gently guide four souls through the air to a space station in the path of the ship he had indicated. He rubbed his temple and closed his eyes. She had moved four pieces, when he had indicated three to be paired. It was against the rules, but he didn't think she was trying to cheat. She just wasn't quite present at the moment. _

_That was actually happening quite often, lately._

"_We can pick up this game tomorrow, if you aren't feeling up to it."_

_She looked up at him quizzically, and then slowly nodded. "Perhaps we should, my friend. I am not much in the matchmaking mood. I have many things to attend to." _

_He stood and offered his hand to her. She accepted it graciously and allowed him to help her to her feet, folding her black wings neatly behind her. _

"_I will see you tomorrow then, Athame. Shall I call a chariot to bring you back to the Obsidian Halls?" he started to say, but she was already gone._

_She waved at him absently as she walked away, through the golden doors and across his courtyard. She paused for only a moment on the terrace before extending her wings and stepping into the night. She was gone. _

_Palladium looked back at the playing board, but decided to leave the pieces as they were. Perhaps one of his humans would be extremely fortunate and end up with two of her daughters. He smiled to himself and absently waved his hand over the board, activating the protective shielding that would keep the game in stasis until next they sat down to play. He then extended his own wings, and strolled out to the courtyard in search of his most beloved star. He had much to tell her about the progress their child had made._

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay storage rooms <strong>

Commander Jane Shepard stood in front of the airlock separating the main part of the medical bay from the storage rooms, and tried again to sort through what she was going to say. The adamant resolve of a few hours ago when she had first awakened from her dream of vindication was quickly dissipating as she stood there, hand halfway to the airlock controls. Then, it had seemed like the most logical course of action, but now that she actually stood outside the woman's door, she was having second thoughts.

_I've never trusted anyone in my life… Well except for Darla, but I never even told her anything really personal. I wonder if Liara will even… care. Will she just think me a fool? She might just tell me to get some help, and disappear from my life forever. Maybe this was a mistake…_

Jane closed her eyes and tried to will herself the strength to open the door, but for some reason it seemed like she couldn't grasp the platinum that had lent her power so many times before. It was slipping through the tendrils of consciousness that she reached out with to capture it like water pouring over a rocky ledge. Maybe it wasn't available for things like this. Maybe it was only available for battle, and she couldn't use it as leverage against her weakened resolve when presented with matters of the heart. Maybe she was just losing her mind completely, and now that she had come to Liara's door and was faced with the very real possibility she was going mad, it was all dissolving as if it never was.

_I guess it doesn't really matter 'why'. I can't use it, and that's an end to it. I'm on my own. It just might be something that is completely in my head, and I'm about to throw away everything I've ever wanted because of it._

Jane opened her eyes again and started to draw her hand back. She couldn't do this. She couldn't consciously try to sabotage her one chance at happiness by walking into that storage room and announcing to Liara that she was a raving lunatic who thought she visited platinum twilight worlds and danced with singing swords. It was ridiculous, and she knew it was ridiculous. She started to turn away from the door, but the telltale 'whoosh' sounded behind her, and she closed her eyes as she felt a hand wrap around her wrist.

"Jane, why are you standing out here?"

Jane paused midway through her turn, but didn't open her eyes. "I was coming to see you."

Liara looked around the medbay for any indication of why the commander seemed to be leaving instead of opening the airlock, but she didn't see anything.

"Why are you leaving then?"

Jane opened her eyes again and turned to the asari, who let go of her wrist and stepped back, smiling sweetly. "I'm not leaving. I'm just… there's some things we need to talk about, Liara. But, if you were on your way to go do something, it can wait."

Blue eyes stared into her own black ones for a few moments, and then the asari took her hands and led Jane into the small room and over to a chair.

"I was not on my way to do anything. I felt you outside the door, and when you did not come in, I got worried. Jane, what is going on?"

Commander Jane Shepard's heart nearly broke at the agonized look on Liara's face. She was so young, and so untouched by war and pain, but the days were wearing on her, and she was not the same as she was when they had first met on Therum. Jane was directly responsible for that, and the guilt was starting to chew away at what sanity was left in her confused mind.

_I brought her to this end. All of this is my doing. I refused to leave her behind on missions she should have had no part of, and I insisted on making her an active part of this impossible task. I have been incredibly selfish and she has had to witness horror after horror, all by my hand. How could she ever forgive me?_

Jane took a breath and opened her mouth to speak, but words wouldn't come out. She saw the agony in Liara's features and wished for probably the tenth time that she could reach the platinum, but this time she was on her own… and it was now or never.

Jane steeled herself and leaned forward in the chair, looking intently into the asari's blue eyes. "Liara, I have some things to tell you, and I'm not really sure where to begin. It's probably not going to make a whole lot of sense to you right now… hell, it doesn't even make any sense to me." She raised a hand to forestall Liara's reply and continued. "But I need to tell you. This has been going on for far too long, and I can't pretend that it isn't affecting the crew, or the mission, any longer."

Liara leaned back against the table her consoles sat on, and absently picked at her nails. She had been expecting this, of course. She could feel the dull ache in her mind growing ever more insistent as the days drew on. Jane was in serious trouble, and somehow Liara had managed to insert herself into an impossible situation, further complicating the matter. She knew what she had to do... She just hoped there was enough strength left in her own confused and broken mind to do it. She couldn't be selfish any longer when the stakes were so high. Her own personal happiness would have to wait, and she would have to let the commander go.


	47. Chapter 46: Trust, or nothing like it

**Chapter 46: Trust, or something nothing like it. **

**-Normandy, Sickbay storage rooms **

Jane opened her eyes again and looked across the room at Liara. The young asari looked confused, but she was just leaning against the table quietly, waiting for whatever was to come. Jane tried to open her thoughts, but she couldn't feel anything in the void. Liara was unresponsive.

Jane was alone.

But then again, she was starting to get used to it.

_I don't blame her, really. She's so sweet – there isn't a cruel or malicious bone in her body. I'm turning this into such a complicated mess, and I don't deserve her telepathic comfort. I need to just tell her what is going on and get this over with. The longer I delay, the harder it will be. I've delayed enough. _

"I have these… nightmares I guess you would call them." She said the words slowly, watching Liara's face for her reaction. There was no change in her expression, so Jane continued.

"I don't know if I really should be sharing these burdens with you, I mean, we haven't really defined what this thing is…" The last words were hard to say and she choked slightly as she spoke them, but forced herself to recover. Now was not the time for weakness. "That's irrelevant. I think that you should know exactly what you are dealing with before this gets any more complicated than it already is. We've kind of gotten swept away into something without really taking the time to know one another, and there is a lot more to my past than a few heroic deeds on a datapad."

Liara gave the slightest of nods, and tried not to let the sharp pain that had flickered through her chest show on her face. She didn't have much experience with interpersonal relationships, but even she could tell where this conversation was ultimately going to go… where it would _have _to go.

Jane took a breath and continued. "I have these nightmares, but they feel like real places. It's been happening for years now, but only recently they have become insistent. I grew up on the streets of Earth, and most of my life was spent either starving or fighting for what little there was. I don't think that the horrors of what I saw, or what I did, in those young years ever really left me. Whenever I closed my eyes, I would see them again and again, and sometimes I was mercifully taken to a place where I could allow my rage to flow forth. It's hard to explain."

Jane shook her head a little, hoping to clear it, but it just seemed to make the fog worse. Liara's face was as impassive as the steel desk she leaned upon, though Jane told herself she expected nothing more from the young woman. What _could _she expect? Liara was barely an adult, and she had never been exposed to the sorts of things that Jane was. It was madness to even think she might understand. Still, this discussion was needed and she couldn't back out of it now. It was too late the moment she opened her mouth. Jane set her jaw and continued.

"These dreams feel like real tests, and I am not sure what to think of them. I've had these nightmares all of my life, but now they are something that I can't escape. They are becoming progressively more painful, and bloody, and each time I have one I feel myself coming a little closer to losing myself in them. Each time I go, I feel like I am inching toward losing my grip on reality. I'm afraid to close my eyes, because I don't know what I will see next. I don't know what I will _do_ next…" Jane flinched visibly at the memory of being so out of control Liara had to restrain her with biotics. "I don't know what they are, and it's just making everything so much more complicated."

Liara nodded again, this time visibly. She pushed herself onto the table behind her and sat quietly, looking down on the despairing human. Jane looked older, somehow, and she looked weary. Her uniform, which was always so carefully pressed, was crumpled and seemed somehow dimmer. One of her boots was coming untied. Her belt was clasped at the wrong length and was hanging somewhat loosely about her. The powerful and steady commander who led the team into the Prothean ruins on Therum to rescue her just a few short months ago was aging before her eyes. Even Jane's hair, which was always combed neatly and tucked behind her ears, was a mess.

_What is happening to her? How can I make this better? _Can_ I make this better? I wish Benezia were here… She would know what to do. She always knew just what to do. _

The thought sent an involuntary shudder of anger through her body. She bit her lip, trying to suppress the feeling, but it was too late. It was there, and she wondered if she would ever get over it. She didn't really blame Jane for what happened, not really… but every now and again when she thought about it… she got upset. It was something that was always going to be there at the back of her mind.

_I wish I had not run off the way I did. I did not get nearly enough time with her before the end. It was foolish to think that she would live forever, and now look at everything. This is not what I was hoping for. None of this is. This should have been so very different. I should be happily digging up ruins on some uncharted planet and thinking about how to introduce Jane to my mother, not mourning her death at Jane's hands…_

Liara took a breath and looked at the ceiling. This was not helping the situation, and she knew it. She was just letting her pain drive her thoughts, and right now it just wasn't about her.

_I am not being fair. I should not blame her, and I should not be angry with her. This was not her fault, and she was just trying to protect me… to protect us all. And now, maybe I should protect her. This is not about me._

Liara forced a smile, and made a decision. She would give Jane what she needed, even if it broke her heart.

"Jane, I do not really understand what is going on with you, but I am glad that you came here to talk to me."

"I don't even know what I am talking about. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does happen, it pulls me into a place that feels so real that I think if I failed a trial there, it would affect what happens here as well."

"What do you mean by trial, Jane?" Liara sensed something change in the human sitting before her. What was it? It was subtle, it was faint… but it was there.

_Fear. _

The commander took a breath and leaned back, crossing one leg over the other and trying to compose herself. "It's hard to explain. I hear music, and I see ancient weaponry, and sometimes there is a task for me to perform. Each one is more bizarre than the last. One time, I had to ingest water that was tainted with billions of glass shards that tore me open from the inside. Another time I had to dig my way out from a planet's core with nothing but a hand shovel." She watched Liara's face carefully for any reaction, but if the asari made the connection, she didn't let it show. Jane continued. "Another time, I was forced to kill some of my crewmates… I think that was the worst one." Jane bit her lower lip and waited.

This time Liara _did_ react. "You had to kill… us? How many? Which ones?"

_Do I really want to know?_

Jane closed her eyes and nodded. "I know, it sounds psychotic, right? These are the dreams of a madwoman, not a starship commander with the fate of the universe in her hands. Liara, I just don't know what to do, and I feel like it's affecting every area of my life, especially my friendship with you."

Liara didn't know why, but the use of the word 'friendship' stung a little.

_You should have expected that though. Neither of you have really made the move to define whatever this is, and every time you try to get closer, something comes between you. Besides, right now she needs so much more than you can possibly give her. She needs the kindness, wisdom, and comfort only someone much older and more experienced can give her. You need to let her go. _

"There is so much you don't know about me, Liara. There is just so much…"

Jane closed her eyes and clenched her fists, reaching for something, anything, in the void that would help her through this.

"When I was fighting for those scraps, I would do anything, hurt anyone. They were dark days, and I was not the same as I am now. The dreams made it worse, I think. I'd go to sleep whenever I felt safe enough; hoping for some comfort, but there was no relief for me when I closed my eyes. Instead, it seemed that everything in the universe was out to get me. I'd enter a world that was determined to break me, and I'd awaken again even more exhausted than I was when I went to sleep. It feels like that now, but different. It feels like I'm coming to the end of whatever the point of it all was, and I'm afraid that it's turning me into a monster."

_How can it not be? I have nightmares about murdering my friends. How can I be anything but a monster? How can I be anything else?_

Jane rested her head in her hands, and let out a long breath. At this point she didn't even know what she was talking about, and all she wanted to do was run from the room and get some fresh air. The cabin was stifling, and Liara's silence was deafening. It was a lot for the young woman to handle, but some sort of acknowledgment would be better than the absolute nothing of the moment. Something, anything that indicated she wasn't completely overwhelmed by the discussion and was ready to support Jane... Anything at all…

_Damn this all to hell. I should never have come. This is something I should have discussed with Darla, not with Liara. Why did I come here?_

Jane lifted her head again, having regained control of her emotions somewhat. Liara still hadn't moved, but that was to be expected. The initial shock may have worn off, but it would be quite a while yet before things set in and the young scientist really understood what was going on… if she ever understood what was going on.

"Look, I don't expect you to understand any of this or even want you to respond. I just wanted to be clear from the start about who I am, because I don't think it's going to get any better and I can't face this alone. There are all these crazy, unexplainable things going on, and I think my dreams might have something to do with it all. Do you remember telling me those stories about Athame?"

Liara nodded slightly, but her expression didn't change.

"Well I have been thinking a lot about that, and about your mother, and Saren, and all of these bizarre things that have happened to the people we have been chasing. What if this is all part of the indoctrination process? What if part of the process is to weaken someone's mind to the point that they break, and then they can be controlled? What if all of these things are just leading up to me betraying everyone I love? Where else can these dreams be coming from?"

It was too much for her to handle. Her head fell forward into her hands again, and she tightened every muscle in her body trying to keep her emotions in check. Liara noticed, but then again, lately it seemed like she was noticing anything, but ignoring everything. She studied the miserable human sitting before her, and contemplated.

_So, that is what this is all about then. She is afraid they are getting control of her too. And, maybe they are. How can I know? __How could I have thought she had all the answers? Did I not see the turmoil and pain she is in? Was I so selfish, only thinking about my own problems and interests and how all of this affected me…? I guess I was. She's been crumbling and no one has done a thing to help her with it… not even me. But, what does she expect of me? __How does she expect me to have the answers for her? By rights, I should not even be here. I should be on Thessia, seeing to my mother's estate and starting my training on the path to replace her. That is what I should be doing, not sitting in a storage room with this human...!_

Liara closed her eyes and took a calming breath. Her thoughts were beginning to get away from her, and emotional responses always clouded judgment. The intellectual in her knew that all too well.

_Stop thinking like that, Liara. You were never going to replace your mother anyway, and Jane has nothing at all to do with that. You _have _to let that go. Your grief cannot blind you._

Liara opened her eyes again and sat there, staring into nothingness for a long time. She had a million questions, but was too afraid to ask any of them. Every time she grasped one with the intention of voicing it, a pain shot through her chest and she swallowed it once more. After a time, when she felt that Jane would accept silence no longer, she pushed herself back down from her perch on the desk and slowly walked toward the human. Jane straightened at her approach and looked up, visibly relaxing and looking almost... hopeful. Liara raised a hand and pushed a lock of hair back behind Jane's ear, and felt a teardrop threaten to escape from her eye as the expression on Jane's face broke her heart. She was starting to feel older, too. The events were taking their toll on her, and everything about her world was different now. As much as she wanted to be a pillar of strength for the human, Jane was asking for help with something that she really wasn't qualified to help with. She wasn't a medical doctor, nor was she a psychiatrist. She was just a lonely archaeologist, whose life was turned upside down when her mother, and the universe, decided one day to go utterly mad.

_No, I cannot help Jane... But there is someone who can, and I need to be strong enough and care about Jane enough to let her get the help and support she needs._

"Jane, I know this is hard for you, and I know that you carry many burdens. I am happy that you trusted me enough to share these things with me, but I do not know how to help you." She took a breath and continued, resolved on this course of action. "I think there is only one person in the world that _can _help you with this, Jane. I think that you need to see the consort. It was selfish of me to give you a hard time about it before, when you so clearly need her wisdom and guidance. I cannot give you the comfort you need, and I cannot help you sort through what might be happening to you. I do not even know where to begin, and I am sorry that I did not see your pain sooner."

Jane remained silent, and did her best to keep her face impassive. Liara drew her hand back and smiled sadly, her mind made up. She didn't have a choice, and though it would cause her more pain, she had to let Jane go. The things they were about to face were bigger than one asari's broken heart.

"Sha'ira is much better equipped to help you with all of your needs." Liara forced the last words out, and waited for Jane to protest, to argue, to tell her that she could never find comfort in the arms of another, to tell her she was insane for even suggesting such a thing. She waited for Jane's face to register shock just before standing to wrap around her, eagerly reassuring the frightened scientist that she was more than capable of helping sort through these troubles and they would get through all of it together. She waited for the soldier to get upset, to straighten to her full height and demand to know what would make her ever think that the consort could compete with her. She waited for Jane to close the distance between them, angrily kissing her with the force of a thousand lost souls and shearing her heart into pieces with the passion. She thought all of these things, and more, and as she continued to gaze down at the human before her, she felt a little guilty.

Despite her earlier internal dialogue, she had somehow managed to make this about herself anyway.

_I guess I… really… cannot… help her with this…_

Commander Jane Shepard ceased reaching out into the void and closed her thoughts back down, as Sha'ira had taught her. She put her hands on her knees and pushed her chair back as she stood up. She straightened her shirt, tried to settle her belt on her waist, and saluted the young asari. "Doctor T'Soni, I understand. I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me, and I hope I haven't kept you from your duties. I will take my leave and let you get back to them. I will see you when we pick up again at the next debriefing. Please make sure you stop by the armory so Chief Williams can inspect your gear and apply any upgrades." Jane lowered her hand, nodded once curtly, and strode out the airlock door, leaving the asari alone.

After a few moments, Liara sank into the now empty chair and stared at the closed airlock, willing Jane to change her mind and walk back through it. But, Jane didn't walk back through. She had slipped into "Commander" mode, and dismissed the asari with barely a flicker of emotion. She had completely shut down.

Liara was devastated… but unsurprised.

She closed her eyes and reached out to the void, hoping to find Jane there somewhere, to find some reassurance that all was not lost… but the voice she heard wasn't quite the one she was hoping for…

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Meddlings<strong>_

_-Oh dear, you haven't listened to a word I've said, have you? I shouldn't be surprised. She was the same way… and to some degree still is. Pain in my ass, the both of you. _

Liara sighed, and shook her head. This was why she couldn't help Jane. She had her own insanity to deal with.

_I am not in the mood…_

_-Neither was Jane Shepard, but she came here and talked to you anyway. Congratulations on completely missing the point. You take misunderstanding and miscommunication to new heights!_

_I am not interested in your opinion._

_-Perhaps not, but you are going to get it anyway. I think what you did was monumentally stupid, and more than just you will suffer for it. This is not the path you are supposed to take. _

_It does not matter what path I am supposed to take. Jane needs more than I can possibly give her. _

_-How do you know that? Because Sha'ira has circled the galaxy more times than even I approve of? What you did is folly, and you know it. Breaking Jane Shepard's heart is not going to save the world from Saren and… Well we will get to that. For now you need only know that you are an idiot._

Liara rested her head in her hands and inwardly screamed. This was absolutely insane. Surely she was too young to be going mad? Surely all of this was just… the result of something bad she ate at her last meal. Surely there was nothing more to it than that? Or maybe… Jane's fears were correct and both of them were being indoctrinated…

_Who _are _you? Why won't you just leave me alone?_

_-Hmm. Now that _is _an interesting question, but now is not the time. Actually, there _is_ no more time. Remember that. Time, is your gift, but it is also your curse, both bestowed upon your race long ago. None could have foreseen the shape you would take, but now, the seed is planted, and it will either flourish or perish. It's still up to you which. Take the path you are meant to take. Be not afraid of it. Jane Shepard will not betray you. Take that path. _

Doctor Liara T'Soni leaned back in the chair and stared at the ceiling. She wondered what Jane had seen in the swirls of steel when she had been in this very spot not so long ago. Did she see echoes of the past, or did she see the promise of a future? Did she see hope? Or did she see despair?

_Well Liara, you will not know now, because you just sent her to Sha'ira's bed. Whoever that is, she is right about one thing. You are an idiot._

Liara closed her eyes, hugged herself with her arms, and tried not to cry.

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's Quarters<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard entered her quarters and sank down onto her bed. She shed no tears, but inside she felt as though she was breaking. This hadn't gone the way she had hoped, and in truth, she had barely even gotten to explain what was going on to the asari before she was rejected.

_It didn't take her long at all to decide it was too much. I should have just left well enough alone. Some burdens we are meant to bear alone. I guess I should have expected it. When things get complicated, people bail. Nobody wants to deal with someone that has as much baggage as I do. _

Jane leaned back and put her hands behind her head, staring at the ceiling. She felt like she should be crying, but the tears just wouldn't come. It was almost as though her own body was mocking her, denying her even the small release and comfort a good cry would provide to her.

_So now what? If Liara has turned her back on me, what do I do now? Go back to Sha'ira? Do I even want to do that? _

Jane laid there for a long time thinking about it. Going back to Sha'ira might have appealed to her several months ago, before she met Liara, but now… Now she wasn't sure she wanted more contact with the consort than was absolutely necessary. Something about it didn't feel right, and she wasn't particularly keen on letting the elder asari dig any further into her mind…

_But, what else can I do? I guess this _is _necessary. I need to know more about what is going on in my head, and if Liara won't look at it, I don't have many more options. I could probably go back to Shiala, but she has her hands full with Zhu's Hope. The asari councilor would be a really bad idea – she might revoke my Spectre status. I suppose there is Terriana, but who knows what she and Danger are up to right now. I'm not sure I really want to open that can of worms… I have enough problems as it is. _

Jane argued with herself for what seemed like forever, but the conclusion was always the same. There was only one asari in the galaxy who could keep a secret, and who was available to assist. It had to be Sha'ira.

Jane rolled onto her side and wrapped around a pillow, closing her eyes. She was exhausted. Her conversation with Liara had been more strenuous than she had expected.

_But what _did_ I expect? Her to fall into my arms, tell me it's all ok and she doesn't think I'm a monster?_

Unbidden, words from Sha'ira spoken not so very long ago echoed in the back of her mind…

"_Liari was not a monster, and one of us should have told her that. Benezia should have told her that…"_

"Damn it!" Jane punched the pillow, and then wrapped around it more securely.

_Why am I always given choices that aren't really choices at all? Why am I supposed to be deal with all the pain, and the loss, and the stress, and no one else has to do a thing but question me and try to bully me into giving them the answers they want? Why isn't there someone to stand by me through this? Why did everyone leave me here to do this on my own? Damn it… what was I even thinking, getting involved with Liara? I should have known that when it counted, she wouldn't be strong enough to handle it. _

…

…

…

_No one is. _

Jane let out a long sigh, and relaxed her grip on the pillow. Getting angry wasn't going to help the situation. Tonight she would try to get some sleep, and tomorrow she would go see Sha'ira. Then she would take Ash and Tali with her to Virmire, and try to forget that she ever even considered a relationship with a young asari scientist. Putting some distance in between herself and Liara was for the best. She told herself it was for the best. She iterated over and again in her mind all the reasons it was for the best.

…

…

…

But… despite her efforts, even as slumber overtook her, she could not erase from her mind the image of Liara's face telling her goodbye.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Nightmares<strong>_

"_Her eyes were liquid fire. Her hair, a blaze that could not be extinguished. Her skin… Ah her skin… that was a white-hot flame that burned me alive whenever she was near. I remember it all too well; when all I want to do is forget. I was blinded by desire and my mind was clouded and flailing, praying for deliverance. It was all things I could have wanted, and it was the only thing that had ever left me empty. I should have known better than to let it happen once, and I should know better than to allow it to happen once again". _

_She sat on the Platinum Throne, looking out over the expanse of the universe, somehow at peace. It felt right, and felt as if she belonged here. She did not fear him catching her, or scolding her. It felt like he was welcoming her, and acknowledging her rule over his dominion. He was there… somewhere… with her, and he was pleased that she had finally ascended to her rightful place. She sat and gazed into nothingness, remembering things from days long since passed, and as she remembered, her mind articulated her thoughts with such a clarity that she wondered if it was actually coming from her at all._

_The phrases came so easily, and her companion was willing to let her speak her peace. _

"_I poured my heart and her soul into that one life, that one hope for salvation. I was young, and foolish, and now that I sit here, unsure how to proceed, all of these memories return to haunt my broken mind. What do you think?" She turned her head slightly, though there was no indication of his physical presence. She felt, more than heard, his response; a question._

"_Was it love?" _

_She thought about it for a moment before replying. "I do not know. How do you know when it is?"_

_He answered with another question. "Is it the same as what you feel now?"_

"_No… and yes… and both. I do not know. She is the same, and she is different, and both are lost to me so I cannot differentiate which was reality and which is just my liberal interpretation of reality." _

"_You are taking far too analytical a view." He was unimpressed with her introspective attitude, and feared what might happen should she make that method of addressing issues a habit._

"_Am I?" She turned her head back toward the expanse of space and gazed once more upon the universe. "A side effect of sitting on your throne, I imagine. I don't feel like myself here. I am just a soldier, with no particularly special powers or extraordinarily insightful knowledge. Yet here I am, discussing love, and life, and the realities of our fantasies as if I were a scholar. This place changes me. I am not myself, when I am here."_

_He smiled to himself. "Ah ha, well, it suits you better than you imagine." _

"_Does it now? That's interesting." _

_He reclined silently on his invisible perch beside her, wondering what his friend would think about this visit in particular. His Chosen almost sounded… like her, and he wondered not for the last time if the soul passing through these trials was one of the originals allocated to her so many millennia ago, before the sundering. "It's not nearly as far-fetched as you imagine. The warrior traits are strong in you, but there is a softer side; a gentler side… a much, much, older side. Maybe one day you will come to know it. In any event, you are not the first, nor will you be the last, to mourn a lost love." _

_She sensed the change in him. She had hit a nerve. She found it interesting, that she knew him so well, and interesting that she didn't find it in the least bit strange. "I apologize for upsetting you. It was not my intention…"_

_Her companion's eyes glazed over as he seemed to roll back time in his mind to another place, another age. She glanced once again to her side and thought she saw a slightly ethereal form taking shape, but it was gone again so quickly she questioned whether it was just her mind playing tricks on her. After all, her mind barely felt like her own these days. She turned back to the empty void, as if somewhere in its depths she could find answers. _

"_What am I to do?" _

_He smiled to himself, and stretched his wings behind him, enjoying the last few moments he had with his progeny. "I wish I could tell you. I wish many things that are not to be. Authority is not given to me to reveal all of the secrets of this world, though I suppose if it were given to anyone, it would be me. You must forge the way along this path on your own, and learn what you must do that way as well. We learned long ago that too much knowledge can be dangerous, and it is important to allow our children to ascend in their own time. Fear not, child. You will find your way, and she will be there beside you." _

_She gritted her teeth, but other than that made no move. His words rang hollow and she was getting a little irritated with hearing the same non-answers over and again. _

"_She will not." _

_He looked at her sharply, but didn't comment. He wasn't sure what she meant, but he would speak to his friend later about that. For now, he had lingered too long and there were other matters to attend to. He had to let his progeny go. _

"_That remains to be seen. Do not lose faith. Faith… is all any of us has now, child." _

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Commander Jane Shepard's Quarters<strong>

Jane opened her eyes slowly and gazed at the ceiling. She was grateful that no murderous thoughts had come, but she wasn't sure whether what had been in its place was much better. It left more unanswered questions, and she was getting a little weary of reliving old memories.

_Or was that an old memory? Was that his memory? Was that some memory from some other age? I've never been in love… before Liara._

Jane pushed herself into a sitting position and scanned the room, almost hopeful. A few glances toward the shadows revealed nothing, however. She was alone in the darkness.

_What did you expect? Did you expect her to sneak into your quarters, and crawl into bed with you? Jane, you are really losing your grip on reality. The reality is that she doesn't want to be burdened with your issues beyond stopping Saren, and you need to accept that. She's probably only staying to avenge her mother anyway, and once that is done, you'll never see her again._

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and pushed herself out of the bed. She kicked her trunk a couple times for good measure, and then headed to the bathroom to wash up. She had to pull herself together before going to the citadel. She leaned forward over the sink and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

_You're getting old, Jane. Look at your face. What happened to you? _

…

…

…

_I don't know. _

_But I have to find out. _


	48. Chapter 47: Comfort, wherever found

**Chapter 47: Comforts, wherever they are found**_**  
><strong>_

_**-Halls of Platinum, Courtyard**_

"_Athame, you know I don't normally meddle in your affairs but…"_

_The two most powerful gods of the pantheon stood in the courtyard, one leaning forward onto his well-muscled forearms, gazing out across the levels below, and the other leaning lazily against the wall with her back to the universe. _

"_I know. Palladium, I know. I told you she was too young. It wasn't supposed to be her, not her… not her. But what can be done?"_

_He lowered his head slightly and let out a rumbling sigh. She was right, of course. They had long ago agreed not to force their will upon their creations, but right now he really felt like rewriting a few directives. _

"_Is there anyone else? Anyone at all who can stand by her when the end comes? Anyone at all she can confide in?"_

_Athame pushed away from the wall and crossed all six of her arms, turning away from him. She thought for a moment, and then shook her head. "You know there is only one other left alive, but it doesn't matter anyway. Our original plan didn't work out, and we don't have time to waste trying to force it. There is no other among my souls, and we agreed never again to turn to necromancy millennia ago. Well, what of your kind? Have you no other souls that can bond to her? Is there no one else close enough in the trials?"_

"_Athame, we've been through that. It has to be one of each, or we will not be able to maintain our control."_

_She turned around again and shook her head at him. "We can't be concerned with that now. You are looking too far ahead. If this fails, it won't matter who controls the pantheon. We will be back to where we started and the others will very likely band together and mutiny. Keelah in particular has been restless of late, and I expect that should we fail, she will be the one to rally the others. Remember what happened last time? I'm still finding flesh-machina parts in my halls and it's been five million years. We can't afford to let that happen again just because we decided to share power and then refused to make the correct choices when the need arose. Keelah in particular is the reason we have to exhaust every possible option to keep the machine-gods from succeeding again. I don't care if it puts your humans above my asari in the short term."_

_He lifted himself slightly and gripped the edge of the wall, slowly swinging himself back and forth. "Why did we decide on pairs at all to begin with? We should never have split our souls the way we did. If the others knew…"_

"_The others _don't_ know, and what they don't know can't hurt them. Besides, it was a harmless little game until the machine-gods decided to make their entrance a little earlier than anticipated. None of us could have foreseen them finding a willing assistant so soon, and I never imagined it would be one of Valluvian's leading the charge…" She paused, contemplating. "Maybe it's not so unimaginable. I had always wondered whether he was smitten with Keelah…"_

_Palladium glanced at her sharply, fear in his eyes. "You don't think they are actually considering helping the machine-gods?"_

_Athame shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know. You know how much Keelah likes machina. I thought for sure she was going to splinter from us five million years back when she started all those horrible experiments. But, she didn't, and I consider us lucky. She's always been fascinated by the machine-gods. If Valluvian has some personal interest in her, I wouldn't put it past him to try to broker a deal with them to spare their children when the end comes."_

"_Don't forget your daughter's part in this, Athame…"_

"_I haven't," she snapped back at him. More softly, "I haven't, but you can bet I am not brokering any 'deals' with these monsters. Valluvian is a fool to trust them." She waved a hand dismissively. "Besides, I rather like the way civilization has formed this time around, and there's no guarantee things will progress in quite the same way again. You have to admit, we managed to put together quite the pairing potential this age, my old friend."_

_He merely nodded. It might not have been ideal due to his own design choices, but that was nothing that couldn't be rectified given another few million years of evolution… of course… they had to ensure there would _be_ another few million years of evolution first. _

"_So back to my original question, Palladium. Is there no one else?"_

_He closed his eyes and shook his head. "You already know the answer to that. The same reason your first choice failed is the reason any of my choices would too. She is already soulbound, and there is nothing, short of breaking every founding law you and I ever wrote, that we can do about it."_

_Athame turned toward the vast expanse and gazed into the twilight. She always appreciated coming here. It was high above everything in the known universe and from this perch; they could look upon life and civilization and watch it grow. She linked one of her arms through his and laid her head on his shoulder. "I will have to find a way to accelerate her maturity then."_

"_My Chosen seems to think it is over. You might be too late."_

"_Yes well, if there is one thing you and I have learned over the long millennia together, it is that over doesn't always mean finished." _

_He nodded, and almost smiled. Athame was up to something, and that always meant things were about to get very interesting. _

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Citadel, Corridors leading to the Consort's Chambers<strong>_

Commander Jane Shepard walked slowly through the corridors on the Citadel, wondering what on earth had gone wrong. Less than twenty-four hours ago she had been pouring her heart and soul out to the woman she loved… and now she was on her way to once again see Sha'ira, the asari consort.

_I wonder if anyone would notice me just circling the building. I don't even want to go in there._

Jane had no particular interest in seeing the consort at the moment, or at any further moments in her lifetime. The only reason she had met with the woman in the first place was to help shield Liara from pain, and now that Jane had what she thought were enough tools and enough knowledge to do that, her time with Sha'ira was at an end. Or at least… it should have been.

But it wasn't at an end. Liara abandoned her, and instead suggested that she find comfort in another's arms. It was a nice way of saying she was no longer interested, and while Jane had never had a serious relationship before, she had seen enough romance vids to know exactly what the young asari meant. It was going to be too rough a ride to be with Jane, and she was bailing out early.

_I should have expected it. In fact, I think I _did _expect it, and maybe that's why it hurts so much. There was no way that she was going to accept everything I had to say, and then fall into my arms and assure me it would all be ok, that we would face it together. This was doomed the second I walked up to that airlock, and now my worst fears have been realized. She doesn't care about me, at all._

Jane looked at the sky overhead and exhaled. The Citadel really was a breathtaking sight. She could almost forget that it was actually a massive space station. It looked so much like some of the recreational parks back on earth. She wished Liara were here with her to enjoy what little time there was left before they headed out to Virmire, but the asari had made it plain that the relationship was pretty much over.

Jane was on her own.

She circled the building twice more before stopping in front of the reception area. She stood there for a long time, reaching out into the void, looking for any sign of her chosen mate. She hoped beyond hope that Liara would feel her there and rescue her from this nightmare… but either there was too much distance, Jane's mind wasn't strong enough while under this level of stress, or more likely, Liara simply wasn't there.

_She's probably sitting at her terminal, looking up some schematics on ruins or something. She isn't thinking about me. She'll study a bit, take some notes, maybe work on an outline for one of her research papers, and then lie down to sleep. She doesn't know where I am, and she doesn't care. _

Jane closed her eyes and shook her head sadly. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to rip her rank insignia off her uniform and toss it out the nearest airlock. She wanted to toss _herself_ out the nearest airlock… But instead, she walked up to the receptionist ready to give her name.

Nelyna smiled at the commander, but held up a hand before she could say a word. She pressed a few buttons on her console, cocked her head to the side and nodded to no one in particular as she received a response, and waved the Jane through.

"Please, the consort would be delighted to see you now."

Jane nodded curtly and strode through the common area. _Hmm. I wonder what that was all about. Is there a special signal for me now? I shouldn't have spent so much time here..._

She walked up the stairway and entered the consort's chambers, barely aware of her surroundings. Sha'ira was lounging lazily on a plush couch facing the door, and the asari gestured to the empty place beside her as she lifted a glass of Thessian wine.

"Commander Shepard. It's a pleasure to see you again."

"It's good to see you too, Sha'ira," Jane replied as she sat down, as far away as she deemed courteous.

Sha'ira studied the human woman's face as she sipped her wine, and then leaned forward to pour Jane a glass. "Here. This is the finest wine that can be found anywhere in the galaxy, and something tells me you could certainly use a drink."

Jane accepted the glass and leaned back, relaxing somewhat. She felt her anxiety dissipating despite her earlier reservations about coming to see the consort again. This was just a talk, after all, and Sha'ira was right; Jane did need a drink and a break from reality for a while.

_This is probably part of what makes her so good at what she does. She has this way of making you feel at ease, even when the entire universe has gone mad. And, this actually _is_ very good wine…_

Jane absently traced a finger around the rim of the glass, and stared off through a window. Now that she was here, she wasn't even sure what she was supposed to say. She wasn't even sure why she had come, except maybe for some sort of twisted revenge against Liara for suggesting it.

_That's ridiculous though. You are taking revenge on her by doing something she _told_ you to do? No wonder this never got off the ground. You should have just called Darla. She would have known how to handle it. Instead, here you are, drinking expensive alcohol with the most desired woman in the galaxy… and you can't even enjoy it. _

Sha'ira just quietly sipped her wine, studying the commander's face. Shepard would start talking eventually, and the consort was in no rush. In fact, she was pleased at the unexpected visit and had immediately instructed her receptionist to clear the rest of her appointments as soon as it was apparent the human soldier was coming inside. She had met many different individuals of all different species in the hundreds of years she had lived, but none were quite as intriguing as the dark-eyed human female sitting across from her tonight.

Jane didn't even notice the consort's attention. She was too busy with her own internal discussion.

_Do I want to share these things with Sha'ira? Gosh, does she already know? She's already been in my mind, and there's no way for me to really know whether or not she was poking around at my old memories. She might know all about the dreams, and I wouldn't be telling her anything revolutionary.  
>I wonder if she would be that insensitive… I wonder what she looked at…<em>

"I'm worried I'm being indoctrinated."

If Sha'ira was surprised, she didn't show it. Instead, she reached for the bottle, topped off her glass and then leaned back again, crossing one leg over the other and smiling at the human. "Now, why is it you think that?"

The truth was, Jane didn't know. It had just come out.

_I don't have a clue, Sha'ira! How am I supposed to know anything, everything? How did all of this get dumped on me? All I wanted was to serve the Alliance and help make humanity's mark on the universe. All I wanted was to make a difference, and then retire somewhere quiet where I could live the rest of my days peacefully. Instead, everyone is poking around in my head. Ancient obelisks, otherworldly spirits, asari empaths, mysterious indoctrinating invisible monsters... Where does it end? When did it begin? Why did it happen to me...?_

Jane spent a long time in silence, just contemplating, but Sha'ira made no move to press her. There were no other matters she needed to attend to at the moment. This could receive her full attention, and it probably would need it. She didn't think that the commander was being indoctrinated, but there was something weighing heavily on the woman's mind, and that would mean disaster if left to fester. Just because she wasn't in danger of mind control now, didn't mean later on she would continue to be immune to the influence of whatever was controlling Saren and had killed Benezia. The human was strong, but not that strong, and she would need help. She would need all the help she could get, and Sha'ira had already failed once to protect someone with the power to change the future from the mad whisperings of beyond. She couldn't afford to fail again. Not again. She would do better this time, for Benezia, and Liari's daughter.

"It's hard to explain, Sha'ira." It seemed an eternity before Jane spoke again, and after she said the words, she sat there in silence once more, slowly draining her glass of the blood red liquid fire that warmed her insides and relaxed her muscles. It truly _was_ hard to explain, and Jane wasn't sure she would be able to articulate what she was feeling.

Sha'ira took Jane's glass and refilled it, moving closer as she handed it back.

"Commander, you would be surprised how insightful I can be on many matters. Perhaps you should start with why you came here to talk with me instead of someone closer to you. Benezia's daughter, perhaps? Have you been practicing the techniques I showed you? Surely you should be able to hide the memories of Liari from her by now…"

Jane's eyes flashed, and Sha'ira knew she had made a mistake. The commander was good at hiding her emotions, but the tiniest trace of pain distorted her features for half a second and it was just enough to give the asari an idea as to what was really going on. This was more than just the commander worrying her mind was being controlled. Something happened between her and Liara that prompted this visit.

_Oh dear, Benezia. What am I supposed to do with this, now?_

"Liara is busy. I didn't come here to talk about her." Jane drained her glass swiftly, and the consort refilled it once more before pressing a few buttons on a nearby console. A young asari maiden who couldn't have been more than eighty brought in a fresh bottle and removed the empty one.

Sha'ira decided to try another approach. "I understand. Tell me about why you feel you might be getting indoctrinated."

Jane, grateful that the consort had the grace to leave the Liara situation at rest, leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "I don't know. It's hard to explain. I have visions, and nightmares, and thoughts, and well… I mean you saw some of them. I'm afraid to touch anything because I don't know what it's going to transfer into me. It's getting worse, Sha'ira. Every day it gets a little bit worse, and there is no one in the world that I can talk to about it."

"There is one person you can talk to, Shepard. My door is always open to you."

Jane smiled sadly, and drained her glass once more. The wine was starting to affect her, but she didn't really care. Sha'ira was understanding, and kind, and right now Commander Jane Shepard could use a little comfort. She held out her glass to be refilled, and her asari companion smiled mischievously as she poured the liquid.

"I appreciate that, Sha'ira. I didn't want to come here, but I guess… Now I'm glad I did. I still don't know what to do though. How will I know if I am being indoctrinated?"

"It's impossible to tell, really. None of us saw it coming with Benezia until she had already run off to follow Saren." Sha'ira replaced the bottle on the table and shook her head. "For the record, I don't think you are being influenced, Commander. I think you are just under an enormous amount of pressure."

Jane leaned back again and rested her forearm across her eyes. "Yea, maybe. Whatever it is, I wish it would all just… get out of my head, you know?"

The asari nodded, thought Jane couldn't see it. "What is it you fear the most, Commander?"

She thought about it for several moments before gripping her glass with both hands and leaning forward. She drained it a fourth time and placed it on the table in front of them. "I can show you better than I can tell you, Sha'ira."

The consort nodded and put her own glass on the table as well. "Come closer, Commander. Embrace Eternity..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Monsters<strong>_

_The day is dark, and the night falls swiftly across this broken land. I walk a tightrope between slumber and the waking nightmares that plague my mind. Do you see it, Sha'ira? Do you see the desolation, the desperation, the desecration I leave in my wake? Do you see the death, and the despair, and the divinity and sanctity of what I do, of what I have become? The bodies are all there, mocking me, pleading with me, indifferent to me. I am alone, and… _

_I am a monster._

_When I awaken in the morning I am thus, and when I bed down at night I am the same. My monstrous thoughts consume me, and there is no relief in sight. I see images, hideous images, and it is almost as if they are real. They permeate my psyche, and they consume my waking hours. When I sleep, I have no dreams, unless they are dreams of violence and carnage such that no human should ever witness. There is a lingering haunt in the farthest corners of my mind, and I know not how to draw it out. I know not from whence it came._

_Get over it, they say. _

_They say that, and more, and nothing at all, and I am supposed to interpret from this, how to exist? How to thrive? How to end the madness that threatens to overtake everything I have ever held dear? From this, I am supposed to glean the wisdom of ages? It is trivial. It is trite. And all of it is a lie._

_The illusion is not mine. It was never mine, and it was never in my mind. It was always hers, or it was his, or it was theirs, and the two of them together created this monster that has inherited the worst of both._

…

…

…

_I don't even know what any of that means. It's not even me, and I don't know where it came from. It's like the words come from somewhere else, and they are forced on me, just like the visions. They come from somewhere else, and they are forced on me. Everything is forced on me, and I have never been given the choice of what to do, of where to go. _

_Do you see what I am seeing, Sha'ira? Do you see the broken bodies, as they piled up before me? Do you see the ones I sent to their doom; do you see their pleading eyes? Do you see the broken land, the blood and the silver, slicing my skin and holding me back? Can you understand what I am going through, every day, and why I want to just give up? Do you… even care? _

* * *

><p><em><strong>- Citadel, Consort's Chambers<strong>_

Abruptly Jane threw the asari out of the meld. She was angry, and hurt, and she didn't understand any of what was going on. Sha'ira just gracefully opened her eyes, and nodded at the commander.

"I _do_ understand, Commander. I have seen such things before, and I can assure you, it isn't indoctrination."

"Then what in the hell is it?" Jane was getting desperate. She grabbed the bottle of Thessian wine and poured another glass herself, then downed it in one gulp. She sat there leaning forward, gripping the goblet tightly as if it could stabilize her swiftly deteriorating mind.

Sha'ira slid closer to the commander and took the glass out of her hands. She placed it on the table, and then secured the human's shaking arms with her own. "Commander, you are not a monster. You are burdened with making decisions that would cause a lesser woman to go mad, and you do it all with the grace and dignity of a goddess. You are not a monster, and you need to know that."

Jane closed her eyes and shook her head. "Then why was I left to face this alone? Why… was I abandoned?"

The consort reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair back behind the commander's ear. "You aren't alone, Shepard. You have friends in places you didn't even imagine existed, and everyone is behind you. My door is always open, and you know that. I see your suffering and if I can help with just a tiny bit of that, then I will have made up for my failure to act so many years ago. I will not make the same mistake twice…"

Jane opened her eyes again and looked sharply at the consort. Sha'ira's eyes had glazed over, and she seemed to be remembering a time long ago, when she had tried, and failed, to avert a similar disaster. "Sha'ira, I didn't mean to…"

The asari shook her head and returned to the present. "No, Commander this isn't about me. I have made my peace with the things I have done in my life, and none of us can afford to dwell on the past. All we have is the future, and we won't even have that, if you break under the pressure." Sha'ira's voice softened, almost seductively, and she leaned closer to the human. "Shepard, allow me to comfort you. I want to show you something."

Jane's heart screamed for her to stand up and leave the room, to get as far away from this place as possible before she did something she would regret… but her mind overpowered it this time with reason. She needed comfort, and the consort was the only one who understood, and quite possibly, the only one who cared. She nodded the briefest of nods, and Sha'ira smiled. Jane closed her eyes and heard the almost audible click as the asari's eyes turned to obsidian, and once again her thoughts were no longer private.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Comfort<strong>_

_Jane opened her eyes and saw herself standing in what looked like a garden on Earth, but it was unlike any garden she had ever seen. The foliage was not quite right, and there were strange animals she didn't recognize. It was peaceful, and serene, and completely alien to her. Sha'ira was here, smiling and lazily looking around. _

"_What is this place?"_

"_This was once my home on Thessia. Do you not recognize it from the memories of Benezia and my sister?"_

_Jane looked around again, and nodded. It did look familiar. _

"_It's so peaceful here."_

"_Yes, that is why I wanted to bring you. I can't leave the citadel and join you in the fight, though I may want to, but I can offer you peace and comfort whenever you visit here. It is the least I can do, for you, for Benezia, and most of all, for Liari, who suffered the most of all of us."_

_Pain flickered across Jane's face as Sha'ira mentioned Liara's father, though she tried not to let it show. _

"_It is all right, Commander. You love her, and you do not have to explain to me what it feels like to watch someone you love walk away, for _any_ reason. I have lived a long time, and I loved someone once too, but she was not meant to be mine, and my calling was different as well. We don't always get the happy ending we desire, Shepard. And knowing that, we have to take comfort in the brief moments we can steal from the universe as they appear…"_

_Sha'ira took Jane's hands in hers and smiled. Jane nodded, and closed her eyes as she breathed in the cool morning air. This place felt real, and it was hard to believe she was just within another woman's memory. _

"_Yes, I understand, Sha'ira. I appreciate all you have done for me, and I feel badly that I never properly thanked you for it. I'm not even sure how I could thank you for all you have done." _

"_You will thank me by saving the universe. Some of us understand what is coming, even if the powers that be wish to wear blinders. I know what you face." Sha'ira brushed her hand across Jane's cheek and rested her arm on the taller human's shoulder. "I know what you face, and I know you have the strength to win, no matter what the odds. You have to win, Shepard."_

_Jane nodded and looked down at the asari who was very nearly in her arms. "I _will _win, Sha'ira. I will beat him, and stop whatever he is planning." _

_Sha'ira moved closer and smiled. "I know you will, Commander. But now, is not the time for planning battle…" _

_Jane nodded, and pulled the asari into her arms. The woman felt good; soft and warm, and eager. Sha'ira offered no resistance as Jane closed the distance, and the last thought the commander had before losing herself in flame was of Palladium, nodding to her from somewhere far beyond and waving a hand above them. She got the feeling he was shrouding her from something… but she didn't know what. That didn't matter now, anyway. All that mattered was the woman in her arms, and the night ahead of her._

* * *

><p><em><strong>- Citadel, Consort's Chambers<strong>_

Jane awakened sometime later, lying beside Sha'ira, who was still slumbering. She looked down at the asari in her arms, and shook her head sadly.

_What have you done? For the love of soup, Jane, what have you done?_

Commander Jane Shepard closed her eyes, and clenched a fist. This wasn't how she wanted the night to go, and this wasn't the woman who should have been in her arms. All of it was completely wrong.

_What am I supposed to do now? _

Jane shifted her weight slightly, adjusting Sha'ira's position to not be so… invasive of her personal space. The asari didn't stir, and she was grateful for that. After putting what she felt was a safe enough distance between them, she laid there staring at the ceiling. It was still several hours before dawn, and Jane took the opportunity to pray… not for the last time… for the night to be over.

…

…

…

The next morning, Sha'ira simply nodded to her and helped her dress. She did not ask any questions, nor did she indicate she expected the commander to stay. Instead, she brushed her hand across Jane's cheek, and whispered that her door was always open. Jane smiled back and pulled the asari into an embrace, and then turned and walked away.

…

Commander Jane Shepard never returned to the Consort's chambers.


	49. Chapter 48: Breaks

**Chapter 48: Breaks**

_**-Normandy, Crew Deck Corridors**_

Doctor Liara T'Soni wandered aimlessly through the corridors, uncertain of where exactly she wanted to go. It had only been a few hours ago that she had sent Jane Shepard away, and since that moment, she felt lost and alone. Slowly, she walked, looking at the floor and fidgeting at her fingernails. Quietly, she contemplated, turning the matter over and over in her mind. Relentlessly, she circled the crew deck, barely noticing the soldiers who saluted her or nodded greetings to her. Nobody else existed. Nobody else mattered. Nothing else was important. Nothing at all.

_I did the right thing. I am sure of it. I made the correct decision. Jane needs so much more than I could ever give her, right?_

Her keenly intellectual mind attempted to reason it out, to make sense of it, but the words rang hollow… and her heart didn't believe it. No matter how many times she replayed the conversation in her mind, she didn't believe for one second that the correct response was shutting down and leaving the commander to deal with everything all alone, no matter how scared she might be of her own inadequacies. The voice in her head was right, and she knew it before her unidentified mental assailant had even spoken. What Liara had done was monumentally stupid, and she had to find a way to fix it.

_So, should I try to find her? I wonder where she would have gone. Her quarters? Maybe she went to talk to Chief Williams. If she were to confide in anyone other than me, it would be Chief Williams. Or… maybe she just did what I told her to do…_

She stopped short and shut her eyes tightly, trying to erase the image from her mind. Liara wasn't sure why the thought of Sha'ira bothered her so much, but it did. Maybe it was because the consort was so much older than she was. The thought was a little intimidating. Here was an asari who had already lived long enough to see worlds rise and fall, and Liara herself was barely out of her teenage years. Maybe it was because despite the woman's advanced age, she appeared young and vibrant, as if time could not touch her; as if it would never dare try. Maybe it was because her words dripped with honey, and her every movement was unadulterated sensuality. Liara felt like a child next to such an asari, and it made her angry. Commander Jane Shepard was a particularly attractive specimen of human. There was no way Sha'ira would pass up the chance, and Jane would probably disappear into the night with her this time and forget all about little Liara.

_And she would be right to. Why did I even suggest it? Of all the people I could have sent her to, I told her to go see the one she is most likely to lose herself in. Better yet, why did I send her away at all? All I had to do was take her hands and help her to stand up again. She needs me to help her stand, and all of my doubts and worries would have washed away as she fell into my arms. It would have been perfect._

Liara closed her eyes and hugged herself, trying to chase away the thoughts of being so close to the commander. She couldn't let those images take over again, not now, not when Jane was so far away and out of her reach. The corridor was starting to close in on her. The air was stifling. She couldn't breathe. She forced herself to concentrate on one thing: putting one ne foot in front of the other; she forced herself to move. One foot in front of the other; she counted the strides. One, two, three, four... three hundred two… five hundred six... How many was it now? She lost count. It didn't matter anyway. She kept moving even though her vision started to blur with exhaustion and the tears that threatened to spill forth. She kept moving even though some of the crew members were starting to whisper to themselves, curious as to what was going on with her. She kept moving even though every rational thought in her head fairly screamed at her to return to her quarters and busy herself with something productive, something useful, something distracting… _anything_, to keep her mind occupied.

_It does not matter where she has gone, because I do not have the courage to go after her anyway. I did not have the courage to reach out when she was right there in front of me, how could I possibly find the nerve to barge into her quarters now?_

She sighed, and bit her lower lip in frustration. She'd had no idea that relationships could be so… difficult. It made her think about her mother, and all of the things that could have caused the rift between Benezia and her own partner. What had happened? Did they have a fight? Was it a simple misunderstanding that blew up into a major dramatic tragedy? Was her other parent upset that Benezia had gotten pregnant? Or did Benezia simply shut down, like Liara was doing now, when her partner needed her the most…? Maybe she did, and it was too much for the woman to handle and she had to leave. Liara sighed again. Maybe her mother wasn't the damsel in distress after all. Maybe it was her fault.

And maybe, she passed it down to Liara.

_I should have just asked Benezia, instead of trying to keep her from her pain. Now I may never know who her partner was, or what happened between the two of them. Maybe if my mother had been honest with me, I would not be in this situation with Jane now. I would have known how to handle it. Maybe if she had told me who my other parent was, I could have found her. Maybe she would have taught me the things that Benezia was too afraid to. I know she did not want to see me get my heart broken, but I guess her plan backfired anyway…_

Liara stopped and leaned forward, hands on her knees. The muscles in her legs were starting to ache, but she didn't care. It was good to feel something, anything at all, even if it was just her body protesting the demands being made of it. The emptiness in her heart was overwhelming, and she looked down several times fully expecting to see a physical hole in her chest. There _had _to be a hole there, for it to feel so empty and broken. Her anger was starting to get the better of her, and she shut her eyes tightly as she scolded herself.

_This is ridiculous, Liara. Do you enjoy feeling like this? It is not the first time you have done such a thing, or said such a thing to her. You must enjoy the punishment, is that it? You have avoided other people for so long, and now that you are part of a crew and have someone who cares about you, the first thing you do is emotionally shut down. Good job, doctor._

She snorted in derision at no one in particular, and shook her head. Here she was, fully grown and out on her own, after completing a degree at one of the most prestigious universities on Thessia and landing herself a key position on one of the most technologically advanced ships in any of the spacefaring species' fleets… and she was still acting like a spoiled child.

_And you **are** a little spoiled, Liara. Benezia gave you everything you ever wanted, even when she did not understand it. She always behaved as you expected her to, and she never walked away from you, even when you were throwing tantrums and being impossible. She was always so patient, and she was always so gentle. Maybe she was right, and she **should** have been stricter with you. It might have helped. I wonder what she would have had to say about this. I wonder what her partner would have had to say about it…_

Finally, Liara's body had enough of her abuse and her mind started to fight back against the mental assault. She leaned against the wall in exhaustion. It had to have been hours by now. The lights were starting to dim as per the usual schedule, and some of the crew members were making their way to the various sleeping pods and other designated areas. Night, or at least what passed for it on the Normandy, was falling. She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, and tried to stop scolding herself. It was hard, though, and the mental and physical exhaustion wasn't helping. She reached out once again looking for Jane, hoping beyond hope, that it wasn't too late.

_Why try now, Liara? You did not seem to care when she was here with you. You knew she was looking for you, and you ignored her. You shut her out. Why? Why do something so obviously foolish? What would have happened, had you been responsive?_

Her skin tingled with electricity at the thought. What _would _have happened? She would have taken the commander's hands and helped her to stand. She would have stepped closer, whispering words of encouragement and using her body to invite the contact she craved. She would have slipped her arms around the human's torso and tilted her head back, silently offering herself to her chosen mate. She could almost feel Jane wrapping around her and hiding them both from the world, accepting her offer and making one of her own. Liara wanted to lose herself in the human's embrace right now, and forget about Saren, forget about her mother, forget about all of this indoctrination nonsense. She leaned her head against the cool steel of the wall and silently asked it for strength. She knew it wasn't going to answer her plea, but at least it was something solid amidst the chaos. It was something she could confide in.

_Jane, I am so sorry. I do not know how to do this. I do not know how to fix this. _

Liara turned slightly so that her back was to the wall and looked around the deck. There wasn't another soul in sight. Everyone else was probably eating, or taking shore leave, or already in bed. Everyone else was going about their duties, without a care in the world. Everyone else was happily living their lives, oblivious to the electrical storm brewing just inside the corridor. They knew nothing beyond their individual tasks aboard the ship. They weren't personally acquainted with Jane Shepard. They were just nameless, faceless parts of her team, there to ensure the ship kept running so the commander could save the world. And somehow, that was enough for them.

But it wasn't enough for her.

Her head fell forward slightly, as if her neck no longer had the strength to support it.

_Maybe I wish I could be like them. If circumstances were different, I would just be a scientist, reporting my findings to whoever was in charge of my department. I would not have any contact with Jane at all. I probably would not even know what she looked like. If it had not been for my mother and the things she did, I probably would not even be on this ship. I would be at a research facility somewhere on some remote planet, feeding reports to the commander through comm buoys. There are a million different ways this could have played out that would have been a million times better than this heartache… Why did it have to be her to rescue me on Therum? It could have been anyone else in the alliance. Why did it _have_ to be Commander Jane Shepard? _

Liara opened her eyes and lifted her head to look up at the ceiling. It took effort. She imagined she could see the stars, and wondered which one burned brightest this night. She wanted to explore those stars, every single one of them. She wanted to visit planets that had not been touched by their civilization, and uncover the secrets that were surely buried there for millennia. She wanted to learn everything there was to learn about the ancient Protheans, and piece together how they lived, how they died. She wanted to learn about the species that came before those mysterious figures, and who had come before them. It was why she left Thessia, and what had drawn her to Therum. It was what kept her on the Normandy now, when she could have left after giving the commander the information she needed. That thirst for knowledge kept her on this vessel.

_Except, that isn't quite right either. I do not need this ship to pursue my research, and being here takes away valuable time I could spend on actual digs._

Liara closed her eyes again and let out a long breath. She stayed because she wanted to be with Jane. She remembered the day she offered her expertise like it had been yesterday. There was no hesitation, no question in her mind where she belonged. She belonged on this ship with the human commander who had somehow stolen her heart. Oh, she still wanted to visit the stars and dig for ruins, but now she didn't want to do it alone. It would be too empty. How wonderful would it be to discover something unique and valuable, and have someone to immediately share it with? She would no longer be forced to tell all her secrets to a datapad, her only comfort the soft amber glow of the LED. She would have warm arms waiting for her at the end of the day. All she needed to do was get through this mission, and then she and Jane could disappear into the far reaches of space together.

It would be perfect. They would land on some small planet that hadn't been explored, and she would gather her tools and other equipment to go explore. Jane would stay behind at their small ship, doing repairs or maintenance or whatever it was starship captains did when their ships were grounded. Her face would light up with joy when Liara finally returned, holding some obscure treasure she had unearthed. They would look over the object together, documenting every anomaly, examining it from every angle, carefully inspecting it and chronicling the adventures they'd had in obtaining it. They would discuss it late into the night, and Liara would doze off leaning against the human in their quarters. She would awaken a short time later, her body craving her lover's touch, and she would pull Jane down with her into the depths of space, neither of them yet fully conscious, both aware only of each other, chasing the euphoria that their union promised.

Liara's skin started to crackle with electricity, her internal receptors unconsciously activating a biotic response. Her heart, which just a few moments ago felt empty, had accelerated, and she shook her head as a tear spilled from her eye. It was physically painful to be denied proximity to Jane. Her skin was burning and lightning had replaced the blood in her veins. She clenched her fists and channeled the biotic field along her skin, first to her fingertips, then back down to her toes. She welcomed it and found some small comfort in the dark blue glow that surrounded her. The violent response felt good, and she wanted more. Thoughts of nights spent with Jane, the human smiling down at her, up at her, clawing at her, breathing her name, quietly asking her, desperately begging her, drove the young asari into a violent frenzy. She had to find someplace secluded, somewhere quiet and away from prying eyes, a location no one would come looking for her.

Somewhere she could let off a little bit of steam.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Normandy, Garages<strong>_

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams sat on an ammunition case, quietly polishing a rifle. She slowly moved the cloth back and forth, losing herself in the rhythm of the softly swaying ship. It was soothing and relaxing, and she closed her eyes, thinking thoughts of home. She smiled, and internally embraced the warmth her heart felt as she recalled images of her mother and sisters. Family was important to the chief, and she missed them. Still, they had all been proud to hear of her new assignment, and she had to admit it felt kind of good to be able to brag a little.

Ashley held the rifle at arm's length and inspected it carefully. The metal gleamed with a pristine shine that only surfaced under the expert care of a skilled maintainer. She double checked the action, secured the thermal clip, and set the weapon in the 'done' pile. It was ready for the next mission. Picking up the next weapon in her queue, she wondered about the upcoming trip to Virmire. Thoughts of home were nice, but she was getting bored. Things had been rather quiet these past few days, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't craving a little action. It might have been a bit selfish, but she hoped the commander brought her to the planet's surface. She had been sitting in this garage for far too long now, and it was making her restless.

She put the gun down and sighed. She shouldn't be complaining, really. This was the best assignment a Williams had gotten in two generations. It was a remarkable opportunity, and she had already received a note from Captain Anderson personally thanking her for her service. So what if she didn't get to be on the front line for every mission? She was still doing important work, and she had Commander Jane Shepard's friendship and respect. That would take her far in the Alliance.

_I bet the commander made good on her promise. She put in that report after all. I wonder where she is. I should tell her about the message from Anderson. _

Ashley stood up and started to pack away her maintenance equipment. It was getting late, and she didn't expect anyone else would be coming down to have their armor upgraded. The only one who hadn't visited yet today was T'Soni, but the asari could wait until the morning. The woman was probably face-deep in a terminal, researching this or that and completely forgot to get her gear checked on... or perhaps she was face-deep in the commander...

Ashley chuckled a little at the thought and then mentally reprimanded herself for being so indelicate... and for having wicked thoughts about her commanding officer.

_And so what if she is? If they can find a little happiness in all of this madness, more power to them. Who am I to judge, anyway?_

She closed her toolkit and attempted to stuff her equipment in her locker. Wrex chuckled at her struggles from across the room, and Ash gave him the finger. The massive krogan roared with laughter, enjoying the camaraderie the two of them had built up during their time together on the docking bay level. He was starting to really like these humans. They had fire in their bellies.

Garrus seemed completely oblivious to his surroundings, having been joined by Tali some time ago. The two of them were huddled around the Mako, chattering with DIDI and doing who knew what. Every now and again she could hear Tali curse, or Garrus drop a tool, but for the most part, the three of them were minding their business.

"You know, you _could_ help me here big guy, instead of laughing at me like a jerk." Ash put her back to the equipment bag and tried to use her legs to stuff it in the locker.

Wrex roared once more, but he walked over to the smaller human and helped her push the equipment inside.

"There. Thanks, Wrex. I should talk to the commander about getting more space."

"Ha. Women are all the same regardless of species. If it's not makeup, its machinery, and if it's not machinery, its munitions. I'll let you guess which one krogan women favor."

"You know you love it, Wrex," Ashley replied with a playful punch to his gut. "Ow, is that armor hard enough?"

"That was my belly." he growled in response, the hint of a smile playing at the corners of his massive jaw.

"Mm hm. I'll remember that for next time. Thanks again for helping me with the..." she gestured to the now closed locker that looked as if it were on the verge of exploding.

Wrex merely nodded, grunted, and returned to his normal spot.

Ashley stretched and started to pick up her travel bag when the tell-tale screech came over the intercom, signaling Joker had a message for someone.

"Uh, Chief Williams? Are you busy? It's kinda... important. And private."

Ash shook her head at no one in particular and opened a private channel. Adjusting her earbud and cocking her head to the side she replied, "I was just finishing up here, Joker. What do you need?"

"Well, I don't need anything, but you might want to get down to cargo bay four. There's a bit of a biotic storm brewing down there."

"A biotic storm? What do you mean?" Ash was confused. There wasn't any training going on today.

"Liara is down there, and I don't think she's in a very good mood. You know, asari are usually sexy no matter what they do, but an angry asari? That's just terrifying. She scared the hell out of that new ensign. Poor kid went down there to pick up some medigel for Chakwas, and he wet his pants. Ran all the way back to sickbay. I just heard about it." Joker chuckled, but then turned serious again. "Something is going on, Chief."

"Ok, why don't you have the commander deal with it?"

"Well gosh, that's a super idea, Chief. I wish I had thought of that! The commander isn't on the ship at the moment. She left a few hours ago when we docked and she didn't say where she was going. I'd send Pressly, but well... I think you would handle this better. I mean, it's pretty obvious what's going on."

_Well, I wouldn't say obvious, but you're right. Shepard is ashore and T'Soni is destroying a cargo bay. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the two are probably connected. _

"All right, I'll head down there."

"All right Chief. Send pics."

Ash shook her head and slung the bag over her shoulder. The sooner she got down there the sooner she could make an excuse to inspect the sleeping pods and run into Kaidan.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Normandy, What's left of Cargo Bay 4<strong>_

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams made her way down to the cargo bays, securing her pack on her back and running through all the different scenarios in her mind of what might have happened.

_I'll bet the commander finally called T'Soni out on the whole babe-in-the-woods act. I knew sooner or later that was going to wear off, and Shep would move on. Or maybe it's nothing like that at all. Maybe Shep is just completely oblivious, and forgot to include Liara in something and now our cargo is paying the price. Or maybe, this is just asari foreplay or something. Who knows. I wonder what Joker expects me to do anyway. I should have brought some of those heavy weapons with me._

Ash stopped a few feet away from the cargo bay door, and set her bag down on the floor. She crept slowly toward the opening and peered around the corner, trying to get some idea of what was going on. There was biotic activity all right, but nothing like the biotics Ashley had seen before. The room was nearly black, electric with dark energy that seemed to thicken the air and displace all the oxygen. There was a woman standing at the far end of the room, head bowed, arms extended, seemingly oblivious to her surroundings and the destruction that her powers were wreaking upon everything in the vicinity.

_That can't be T'Soni. There's just no way. Did we pick up some other asari when I wasn't looking? Maybe we are transporting some random commando. Damn, is that really that mousy archaeologist we found trapped on Therum?_

Ash rolled to the other side of the doorway to get a better look. She was closer to the figure now, but something still didn't look quite right. There was something feral in the expression on her face, and something oddly primal about the energy that filled the room. Ashley didn't have a whole lot of exposure to biotics in general, but she knew that it was usually more of a warmish blue, not the violet black crackling through the air right now. It was beautiful, and it was terrible, and she wished that Shepard were here to deal with it instead.

_Well, if Shep were here this probably wouldn't be happening. That's definitely T'Soni. I'd better find out what her problem is before this gets out of hand and starts leaking into the rest of the ship. _

The chief rolled back to the other side of the doorway and stepped just inside, immediately flattening herself against the wall and sliding around the corner to a spot that seemed out of reach of the wildly electric violet field. She looked around, and spotted part of a crate that had been broken. It would serve well enough as a shield. She picked it up and settled it in front of her, sliding against the wall once more and slowly making her way around to the far side of the room. Bits and pieces of old crates were flying everywhere, reminiscent of shrapnel, and she had to duck more than once to avoid being struck.

_This is ridiculous. We need to lay down some ground rules for these aliens. I'm taking Shep aside the second she gets back. Rule number 1: No black biotic fields. Only blue ones. Rule number 2: especially no black biotic fields in the cargo bays, ripping the place apart. Rule number 3: MOST especially no black biotic fields anywhere near Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. That ought to cover it. _

It took an eternity, or at least what felt like one, before she was close enough to get the oblivious asari's attention. She knelt down beside the transfixed alien and held her makeshift shield above her head.

"**T'Soni**!"

Ashley shouted as loud as she could, and it was just enough to break the trance. Barely. Liara glanced in the direction the voice had come from, hopeful, but closed her eyes in disappointment when she recognized it was the gunnery chief and not the commander. She lowered her arms, and the electricity in the air started to dissipate. Debris rained down everywhere, and the chief stood up again, throwing the partially destroyed crate aside. "Just what in the hell are you doing down here, T'Soni?"

She fully expected Liara to reactivate her biotic field, to yell back, to pick up something and throw it. She expected the asari to cross her arms, or say something sarcastic, or spit on the ground. She expected the obviously miserable woman to advance on her and attack, seeking revenge on anyone who even remotely looked like Commander Shepard. She expected any number of violent or angry responses, but what she got, was the asari scientist crumbling and falling forward into her arms.

"Damn it, T'Soni, what is wrong with you tonight?" Ash caught her and led her to a nearby crate that seemed relatively untouched. She fairly poured Liara onto it and then sat across from her, shaking her head.

_Holy shit, Shepard, what did you do this time?_

"T'Soni, this place is destroyed. What is going on down here?"

Liara buried her head in her hands. She couldn't face the chief. She couldn't face anyone. This had all gotten out of hand. She just meant to smash a few crates, just to let off a little bit of steam. Somehow a few crates turned into a few more, and before she knew it, something had awakened in her and all she wanted to do was destroy everything that was nearby.

Ash studied the asari, trying to guess what was going on. It was obviously something big this time, for her to be acting like this.

_Maybe the shit that happened on Noveria is finally catching up to her. I find it hard to believe this level of destruction came about because of a simple lover's quarrel. I mean, Shep is nice enough, but still. _

"T'Soni, you can't destroy all our cargo, especially once we leave the docks. We don't want to get stranded out there with no supplies. What the hell is going on?"

Liara remained silent. She didn't move, and she didn't look up. Ashley couldn't tell if the asari was crying, but it seemed likely, given the circumstances.

_God damn it, like I'm supposed to know how to handle this. _

"You know, we still have some time before we head back out. Maybe you should take some shore leave, maybe go see that asari wise woman your people have on the Citadel. What's her name, the Cohort? Convert? Con…"

This time Liara did look up, but she did it so slowly and deliberately that Ashley unconsciously reached for her pistol as the last word died on her lips. The asari's eyes had gone black, and it seemed like her nails had lengthened. Her voice was low and raspy, almost a growl, and her skin pulsated with pitch black fire. The room darkened, and if Ash didn't know better she would have sworn she just stepped into a hurricane.

"Don't. ever. mention. _her_."

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams nodded slowly and leaned backward, trying to escape the room without being obvious about it. After a few moments, the darkness cleared, and Liara became just.. Liara. Her eyes returned to their deep blue hue, and her skin softened once again into its almost reptilian patterns. She buried her face in her hands.

_Holy shit, Liara used a contraction. This is worse than I thought… Wait, that's what you noticed? You are spending way too much time with Joker._

"Chief Williams, I apologize for the destruction. I will clean it up. Please, just leave me alone. You do not have to worry; there will be no further incident this night."

The words were almost a whisper, and Ash felt her heart breaking. It was becoming apparent what might have happened, and where the commander might have gone. Clearly, things between Shep and the asari were not going as well as she had thought they were. She was sure that the two of them were meant to be, but now…

_I have to talk to Shepard and find out what happened. But shit, do I leave T'Soni down here? If I leave her alone right now, she's going to go right back to destroying everything. _

"I'm not going to leave you down here to be miserable, T'So… Liara. Listen, I know you and I haven't always seen eye to eye, but I understand a little bit of what you might be going through." Ashley's eyes took on a faraway look as she recalled the memories of her own lost love, so many years ago. "I think that you should come ashore with me and Kaidan tonight. We're leaving for Virmire tomorrow, and it's an Alliance tradition to get completely drunk before heading out to an important mission."

Liara's shoulders heaved ever so slightly. Was that a chuckle, or a sob? Ash couldn't tell. She kept talking anyway.

"I read that you asari can eat our food, but I bet you can't handle our tequila slammers. I bet Kaidan can't either. In fact, I bet that I can out drink the both of you put together." Ashley stood and dusted off her uniform. "You can't stay in here. The place is a wreck. We'll send some of the ensigns down here to clean up and put things back together before the commander comes back on board. It's our little secret. Come on."

Ash held out a hand to help the asari up, but Liara didn't take it. She slowly stood on her own, and nodded to the human. "Very well, Chief Williams. You are probably right. I think I need to get away from this ship for a while. And… thank you. For not prying and for…"

The chief smiled and clasped her hands behind her back. "You're welcome, Liara. Now, let's go find Kaidan. He's probably fussing over the sleeper pods again."

Ash led the way out of the cargo bay and together they boarded the elevator in search of the Lieutenant.

…

…

…

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams adjusted her earbud, and opened the private channel back up to Joker.

"Hey Chief. Everything ok now? I'm still waiting for those pics."

"Yea, yea, well don't hold your breath on that one. Do me a favor, and send some of those ensigns down to clean up the cargo bay before the commander gets back."

"That bad, huh?"

"Don't ask. Let's keep this to ourselves, as well. You were pretty accurate before and it's probably best if the commander doesn't know about this incident."

"Oh it goes no further than here, Chief. I have _some_ integrity you know. I mean, not a lot, but a little."

Ashley nodded to no one in particular and switched off the link. Liara was looking at her with a grateful smile, and she waved a hand. "Don't worry about it, T'Soni. I know what you are going through. I've been through it too."

"How did you handle it?"

Ash leaned against the elevator wall and crossed her arms. "Not the way I should have, Liara. I let him go." She looked at the asari. "Don't make the same mistake. You'll never forgive yourself and it will taint any relationship you try to have in the future. If you think Shep's the one, don't let her go."

Liara bit her lower lip, and nodded once. Something about the way the chief said it sounded final. Perhaps, it _was _final and it really was just that simple. She would have to find the courage, and she would have to do it soon, before she lost Jane forever.

A few moments later they stepped out on the crew deck, and ran straight into a bored Tali and Garrus. DIDI had apparently jumped through a comm buoy to her sister rover which was now on Thessia and left explicit instructions that neither of them were to 'noodle around' with the Mako's hardware in her absence. Of course they tried to disobey, but found the systems were locked down and gave up after a few hours of fruitless hacking. So, they wandered up to the crew deck looking for something to do.

"Hey Chief, where are you two headed?" Garrus asked. "You better not let the commander see you getting so chummy!" He playfully elbowed Ashley and gave her an exaggerated wink. Liara's face darkened, and for a second the soldier was afraid she might start destroying things again.

"Um, we're looking for Kaidan, then heading to the Citadel," she replied quickly, shooting Garrus her best 'if you know what's good for you, you won't ask' look. "It's an Alliance tradition to get completely drunk before an important mission. We're going to educate Liara about military life."

"One more reason I like serving on an Alliance vessel. Hey Tali, let's join them and participate in this 'tradition.' Who knows how long DIDI will have us locked out of the systems."

"We should invite Wrex as well. It would be rude to leave him out. I will go get him." Tali disappeared into the elevator to the docking level before the chief could protest.

_Shit. How did this go from me and Kaidan cheering Liara up to the whole damn crew coming? Well, maybe this will work out better anyway. Between the five of us, we should be able to handle T'Soni if she starts to get upset again. And who knows, maybe being with all the others will be good for her. Maybe it will be good for all of us. _

"All right, we'll wait for Tali and Wrex here and then go pick up Kaidan. I hope you guys are ready, because I've already issued the first challenge."

"Oh I'm ready, Chief. You just bring it on." Garrus folded his arms across his chest and Ashley grinned.

_We'll see, big guy. We'll see. _

…

…

…

The six of them made their way to the Flux and sat down in a booth toward the back of the bar. At first Ashley was a little nervous, as there was tension in the air and everyone seemed on edge and suspicious of each other… but after the drinks started pouring in, the pressure started to dissipate. Her worries were unfounded. Liara didn't get upset, and in fact, she seemed to relax a little in the presence of the rest of the crew slowly becoming intoxicated. By the third round the six of them were talking about everything, running the gamut from life for humans on earth to the elite training of asari commandos to how exactly quarians get into their suits and what would happen if Tali got too drunk and had to puke. They ordered round after round, and when none of them could possibly consume another drop and they practically had to lean on each other just to walk, they left the bar in a mass of bodies and headed to a nearby restaurant.

There, they ordered one of everything on the menu, and proceeded to be obnoxious. Garrus tried to dance on the table but was pushed off by Kaidan, and then Tali fell into the water behind the outdoor deck when she tried to sit on the ledge. Wrex tried to go over the ledge after her, but his short legs couldn't reach the top in his condition and he ended up on the floor. Ashley stepped back, ready to take a running jump at the wall, but lost her balance and ended up on her rear, laughing hysterically. Finally, Liara, hanging halfway over the wall at her waist while Kaiden held onto her feet, managed to activate a weak biotic field for Tali to climb on and she lifted the miserable quarian back to the table.

People in the restaurant were pointing and snickering at them, but Ash didn't really care. They were having fun, and what was most important, T'Soni wasn't firing any black biotic beams or trying to commit suicide with dark electricity and shrapnel. She'd be in one piece when the commander returned. Mission accomplished.

Besides, the chief had needed a little relaxation time herself, and she was starting to think that maybe aliens weren't so bad after all.


	50. Chapter 49 - No Regrets?

**Chapter 49 – No Regrets?**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Citadel Docking Bay, Normandy Decontamination chamber<strong>_

Commander Jane Shepard stood in the decontamination chamber, as she had so many times before, just staring at the doors between her and her duty. The beam was agonizingly slow, and she closed her eyes as it washed over her, imagining that all of her transgressions could be cleansed along with the microorganisms she had most assuredly picked up while ashore on the citadel.

_So, now what? What do I do with all of this now? _

She didn't know. When she had gone to the Consort's chambers the previous day she'd had little on her mind other than some sort of revenge on Liara for abandoning her, but now that her anger had washed away in a pool of Thessian wine circling the endless porcelain drain of desire, she wasn't so sure if that was the reason at all.

_Maybe she was right in the end anyway. I needed someone to tell me that I am still ok and I wasn't losing my mind, and if it had to be Sha'ira, well... At least it was someone who can be trusted. _

Jane bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. There was nothing she could do about it now. She had made her decision and accepted the offered comfort. There would be no point in feeling guilty over it now, and anyway, hadn't Liara told her to do it? Hadn't Liara adamantly refused to offer the same comfort? Not that Jane would have pushed for sex, specifically, although it would have been nice... But she could have done with even just a hug. Maybe a smile. Just a nod. Hell, at this point she probably would have even accepted a high-five from the asari. But, instead of that, the only woman she had ever loved had sent her into the arms of another.

_And you fell into those arms - it's not just her fault, Jane. You drank half a bottle of Thessian wine and laid with her. You are just as much to blame. _

"Maybe I am," she whispered to herself. "Maybe I am. But there is nothing I can do about it now."

She ran her fingers through her hair a couple times and adjusted her uniform shirt, then stepped through the doors smartly as the syrupy computerized voice announced her arrival back on the ship. She walked with purpose, and took her place at the galaxy map, charting a course for Virmire and sending the authorization code to Joker. When she was finished, she nodded to Pressly and turned on her heel, heading for the lower deck where Ashley Williams was. She could afford no further distractions or delays, and she was going to put it away now. There was a change in plans, and she needed to talk to her unofficial second in command.

_**Normandy, Cargo bay**_

"Ugh, hi Commander."

Jane barely suppressed a smile at the Gunnery Chief, who was on the ground leaning against her locker, holding her head in one hand and a thermal clip in the other. The commander crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, raising her eyebrows and waiting for an explanation.

_This should be interesting._

Ashley tried to get to her feet, failed, and tried again. She grabbed onto the locker for support and very nearly clawed her way up the wall so she was eye to eye with the commander. Slowly, she looked up at the slightly taller woman and immediately regretted letting more light into her eyes. She closed them again, visibly winced, and Jane had to exercise considerable restraint not to burst into unbecoming giggles at the sight.

"Rough night, Ash?" Jane wasn't angry, after all, she'd had quite an indulgent night herself. It was just that now that she thought of it, she hadn't seen the Gunnery Chief hung over before... And it was decidedly amusing.

"Oi, you could say that, Commander. What did you need?" Ash was finally somewhat stable, somewhere between saluting and massaging her temple as she steadied herself against the wall.

"I'm changing the away team for Virmire. You're still going, but I think we will bring Tali after all. She's going to have to get back into the swing of things soon, and we might need her hacking expertise down there on the surface. The Salarians might be scrawny, but they are brilliant and if we lost contact with them, you can bet there's some superior technology at work."

Ash nodded, but got the feeling there was more to it than the commander was letting on. "Right. I'll talk to Tali in a little while and make sure she doesn't need anything. I'll also let T'Soni know about the change in roster."

"Good." Jane nodded curtly and stood at attention. "We will drop at 0600 tomorrow, so make sure that you both are well rested and... recovered."

"Aye, ma'am. We'll be ready." Ash closed her eyes again and swayed slightly on her feet. She seemed to be considering something, but Jane didn't really want to stick around to find out what it was. She turned on her heel and would have started for the door, but a hand on her arm stopped her.

_Hung over my ass. You can barely stand but you're fast enough to grab my arm like that?_

Jane didn't turn around.

"What happened with you and T'Soni?"

Quietly she said, "Ash, I don't want to talk about it."

"Ma'am, you aren't going to have a choice. Her powers are getting stronger and she's not doing a very good job of hiding her emotions." Ash thought about the destroyed cargo bay, but decided to keep the details to herself. She had a feeling the commander wasn't going to ask her to elaborate anyway. "She's been walking around in a daze, and her skin's been nearly black with biotics."

Jane didn't turn around, but she didn't respond, either.

"Commander, you need to talk to her. I don't know what happened, and I'm not going to pry, but whatever is between the two of you needs to get resolved and fast. If you need anything, anything at all, I'm here."

"Yea, thanks Ash."

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams fell back and smiled sadly as the commander disappeared into the elevator, heading back to the upper decks. Jane Shepard wasn't going to open up to Ash, of that she was sure, but at least... At least she had tried.

_**Normandy, Final Debriefing, Comm room**_

It was 0523 hours and Commander Jane Shepard looked around at the crew in the comm room. Garrus and Wrex sat together at attention, Kaidan and Ashley also sat together but were more relaxed, and Tali sat near Liara, stealing glances every now and again between the asari and the human leader when neither was looking. Jane's voice felt like it was coming from somewhere else, someONE else, as she boomed out instructions and mission orders to everyone. She, Tali and Ash were going to the surface, Wrex and Kaidan were to monitor the situation from the lower deck and be ready to join them on the surface if needed, and Liara was to stay in the comm room in case there were any diplomatic calls coming through or any communications that might offer any additional insight. Jane was secretly grateful for the Chief's tact in informing Liara she was being left behind. Garrus would stay at his normal post, monitoring the Mako's systems from his console, and it was back to business as usual.

Well, almost.

Jane pushed the ache that gripped her heart every time she looked at Liara down someplace it couldn't surface and affect her. Business as usual. That's all she could afford right now. Business as usual.

_I wonder what she is thinking. Does she know what I did last night? If she does know, does she hate me? Is she disgusted? Disappointed? Delighted that I will no longer be bothering her?_

She bit the inside of her cheek and crossed her arms, nodding to each of her crewmembers as they exited the room, headed to their battle stations. She kept her gaze solidly on the console across the room when Liara walked by, though she felt the young asari's eyes burn into her almost as surely as if she had taken a branding iron to her skin. When only Ashley remained, obviously lingering, she sank into a chair and put her head in her hands.

"So, you want to talk about it now?"

"No."

Ashley stood and crossed her arms. "Shepard, you aren't doing any better of a job at hiding your emotions than T'Soni is."

"Ash, I'm handling it."

Ashley decided to change the subject. "Tali is ready. She got some new technology programmed into her Omni-tool. I'm assuming she got it from your friend, Danger."

Jane nodded. "Do you know what it is?"

Ashley shrugged. "No idea. All I know is the she has been playing with that and the Mako's console for the last two days and it's apparently all hush-hush. Even Garrus has no idea what she is up to."

"Ok, well I'm sure she knows what she's doing. Danger wouldn't give her anything dangerous." Jane shook her head and Ashley smiled, the irony of the statement not lost on her.

"I might have phrased that differently, Skipper, but you're right. You know, I kind of miss having the big ape around. She knew her way around a starship, that's for sure. She could have used a little more training with firearms, though."

"She's had training, Ash. She never joined up with the Alliance but she's done a lot of merc work for us. Anderson took a special interest in her a few years back and he made sure to put her through every course he could swing without having to officially recruit her. She just could never quite... 'Get it', you know?"

Ashley nodded, and offered a grim smile as well as her hand. "You know, the day might come where we all have to be soldiers."

"Not if I can help it." Jane gripped Ash's offered arm and pulled herself up. She stretched to the ceiling, closing her eyes and letting out an audible sigh. "Let's get down to the lower deck and gear up. I want to have the Salarian team on board by 1100. We have a big day ahead of us."

Ashley stood at attention and saluted, before turning on her heel and leading the way out of the comm room. Jane Shepard took one more look around the now empty chairs, rolled her head around her shoulders a few times, and followed her unofficial second in command down to the Mako.

_**Normandy, Docking Bay, Preparation to leave**_

Commander Jane Shepard entered the docking level and looked around to see how the preparations were going. Tali and Garrus were busy poking at each others' omni-tools. Wrex and Kaidan were testing their weapons and other gear, and Ashley broke off to help them. Liara was in a far corner, her eyes on the door. Jane felt her heart constrict as the asari caught her gaze, but she clenched her jaw and turned her head quickly away.

"Is everyone set?" Jane switched to 'commander mode' and clasped her hands behind her back. She looked at each of her crewmembers as they nodded, Wrex pulling Kaidan's body armor taut across the man's back and giving her a thumbs up signal. She nodded and walked over to a table that held her own armor and weapons, brought here earlier by the gunnery chief for inspection and maintenance. She and Ashley quickly suited up and verified each other's equipment, and Jane checked the action on her new pistol before attaching it to her hip and turning toward the Mako.

"Wrex and Kaidan, stay sharp and be ready to drop at a moment's notice. We don't know what we are going to find down there, so just be ready for anything."

"You got it, Commander," the Lieutenant replied, pumping his fist. "We got your back."

Jane nodded and gestured for Tali and Ash to get into the Mako. Garrus closed his omni-tool and moved to a console nearby, his clawed hands dancing over the controls as he manipulated the complex sequences to re-activate the AI Danger had installed for them. "You're good to go, Commander. All systems check nominal."c He nodded to her, and she saluted him.

"Good work, Garrus. I can't wait to see what the Mako can do now."

Garrus just grinned and shook his head. The commander might not think that after she had actually seen what the Mako could… and would… do…

Jane caught the mischievous glint in his eyes, and had to conscientiously suppress a roll of her own. He was up to something, but it was too late now to deal with whatever he and Tali had packed into the small rover, almost assuredly under the guidance of her insane mercenary friend. Instead, she climbed into the car, studiously ignoring the piercing blue eyes that were still assaulting her from afar, and closed the door.

"Joker, bring us in, nice and easy." A simple order, a click of her assault rifle, and Jane could almost believe that nothing had changed.

Almost.


	51. Chapter 50: Virmire Part I

**AN:**

You know, I realize that I've beaten up on Shep\Liara a lot. In fact, I think you've made that comment before (or something like it). It sounds familiar.

This part actually signals the turning point for that bit of storyline. It's probably why it's taking me so long to get it on paper. There's a lot of things I want to touch on before the big cataclysm of the first game happens, and I think that maybe the story just got away from me. I'm trying to stay true to the original storyline (which is a mistake I will not make in Part II of this work) while still creating reasons why Jane and Liara haven't moved forward with their relationship yet. Yes, it's resulted in probably more angst than was really necessary, but it's all in the name of artistic integrity. I promise I won't try to sell anyone on three different colored explosions when this work finally concludes.

Thank you for the feedback.

**Chapter 50 – Virmire, part I**

_**Virmire, en route to the Salarian Camp**_

"We have a clean drop, Commander. All systems are go."

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams flipped a few switches above her head and nodded to her superior officer as Joker's update came over the com. She leaned back in her position at Commander Shepard's side, and pulled the controls that would handle the main turret guns into her lap. Jane nodded at her and looked back at Tali, who was managing a secondary console and scanning the area for threats.

"So far there is nothing on the scanner, Commander."

"Jammed?"

"I don't think so, at least, not yet. For the moment, we are alone."

Jane nodded once more and faced forward again. "Stay sharp. We don't know what we are going to find down here. The salarian team has been dark for some time now."

"They might all be dead. It's been a while since we were given this lead."

"If the roles had been reversed, would they have rushed out the door to get to us, Ash? For that matter, the council could have told us they were up to something and they didn't bother." Jane leaned back and shrugged. "I'm not hoping to find a bunch of dead lizards, but we had other things to worry about and can't just drop everything every time the council needs something cleaned up."

She stared down at the mess of controls on her side of the vehicle, and shook her head. "DIDI, are you there?"

It took a few seconds, but the AI materialized at a spot just above the center console. Jane was curious, but thought better of asking where she had been. It wasn't particularly important, anyway. "Accessing… Voice Verification Complete. Good morning Commander Shepard. I have a message for you from Operative Danger."

"DIDI, I really am not in the mood for your creator's wit today. We have AA towers that need to come down and a Salarian team with an unknown status." She gestured to the newly installed navigational controls. "I don't know what any of this crap is. Can you give me the run-down on how this works?"

"Commander Shepard, I am unable to comply with your request until I have given you your message."

Jane started to massage the bridge of her nose. She felt the beginnings of a headache coming on, but knew it would be pointless to argue with the computer. It had always been pointless to argue with Darla, after all. "Fine, DIDI. We don't have time to clown around. What is the message?"

DIDI flickered out of sight, and was almost immediately replaced with a more accurate replica of Danger, complete with oil stains on her clothing. She extended her left hand, fist curled with index finger pointing outward until it just hovered alongside the commander's ear. "The message is: I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!"

Jane stared incredulously at the digital copy of Danger for a moment before looking toward Ashley for support. Ash just shrugged her shoulders, and Tali stifled a giggle behind her mask. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, the image of Danger was gone, replaced once again by the similar, but individualized, image of DIDI. "She also would like to know why you haven't cut the video feed in your quarters yet," DIDI stated innocently.

The commander closed her eyes and took a deep breath. For a moment, she could swear that DIDI had been smirking, but that was probably just a trick of the light in the enclosed space.

"Are you done? Or rather, is Darla done irritating me?"

DIDI didn't respond.

Jane gestured once more to the controls. "Can you help me with this now?"

"I can," the AI replied as the rover lurched forward and started moving along next to the water.

All three of the Normandy crewmembers grabbed at various points of the interior as it bucked and jostled them about, and Jane just shook her head. "You have got to be kidding me. There's no way I am letting you drive this thing. Put the controls back and I mean now! The next time I see Danger is going to be the last time. You can give her that message from me, DIDI. I'm not joking this… ouch!"

"Sorry, Commander. Unexpected crater."

Ash looked back at Tali and grinned. Jane just massaged her temple and glared at the AI. "Can you at least smooth out the ride?"

"Affirmative, Commander. Upgrades have been applied and we are now capable of a number of new maneuvers." Jane narrowed her eyes, wondering exactly what that meant.

"Whatever. Just get us over to the last known coordinates of the Salarian camp. Ash, be watchful – I'm sure that whatever got them is still lurking around. At the very least, keep your eyes out for geth. They like to follow us."

"Roger that, Shepard." Ash grasped the gun controls and scanned the horizon in front of them for threats. "What the heck are _those_ things?"

Jane squinted out the glass in front of them and shrugged. "Some kind of crab, it looks like. They don't look dangerous. DIDI, make sure you drive around them. There's no need to go out of our way to wreck the indigenous life here. Anything yet, Tali?" Jane kept her hands on the console even though it was clear the car wasn't going to relinquish control anytime soon.

"We might want to slow down a bit, Commander. We're being jammed now. I can't compensate, the signal is too strong. We must be directly beside a comm tower." The quarian punched furiously at the control panel for a few more moments, then looked out the window and shook her head. "There is something here that is far beyond any technology I have seen, and we are right next to it."

Jane nodded. "I expect it was too much for the salarians as well. All right, well this is what we are here for. DIDI, I really need you to switch me to manual controls. Now before you get offended, I have complete faith in your ability to get us to the last known coordinates. I'd just rather have hands on the wheel in case something unexpected happens and we need to…"

"Commander Shepard, I am programmed with the complete history of all known evasive maneuvers from all known races and have been given extensive access to ship and rover databanks in order to formulate my own..."

"God DAMN it DIDI, I don't have time for this. If you don't transfer those controls and tell me how to work them this instant, I'm going to start ripping out wires until this thing blows up."

"All you had to do was ask, Commander." The Mako slid to a halt and Jane felt a shudder, and heard a few audible clicks. "The controls are all yours. If you need assistance, say the secret word." DIDI vanished, and suddenly there was eerie silence.

"Uh… is it just me or is that computer starting to get a little too… emotional?"

Jane just shook her head at Ashley and looked back at the console. "Darla always was moody. I imagine the AI is just taking notes."

"Do you know what the secret word is?"

"Nah, that's probably just Darla's way of messing with me. I'm sure DIDI will come back if we really need her, secret word or no. I'm more concerned about our immediate problems, like how the heck all of this mess actually works…"

_Well, I'm sure that it's easy enough to figure out. How complicated can this be?_

"All right, here we go." Jane pressed a few buttons and the vehicle lurched forward slowly. She laid her left hand on what seemed to be a steering pad and rested her other hand on a small touchscreen that had a miniature schematic of the Mako. "Hey, this is easier than I thought." She nodded at Ash and they looked back out the windshield. "This place is really beautiful, but I wish there was more cover. I'm going to take us close to the side of that mountain. We'll try creeping up on them. Well, as best we can, anyway. Ash, be ready for anything."

"Copy that, commander. Hey, whoa, what are you doing?"

Ash had to push both hands against the ceiling to keep from falling out of her seat. Jane just grunted and slammed her fist into the console.

"Commander, you're supposed to go beside the wall, not up it!"

"I know I know. Apparently this isn't the steering." Jane tried a couple of levers and succeeded in firing the thrusters, flipping them over and landing further back from where they started. "All right. So this button moves us forward, that one fires thrusters, which leaves…. This swivel thing as the steering."

"You could have just asked me, Commander. Garrus and I installed all of this, you know."

Jane glanced back and almost laughed out loud. She had completely forgotten about the quarian in the back seat. "Right, sorry Tali. I've got a lot on my mind right now. Do you have any other tips for me before we get going again?"

"No, I think you have it all figured out now. Danger told us that you would never go for foot pedals, so we didn't install those."

"Good." Jane leaned back again and took control of the vehicle. This time, she more or less guided them in the correct general direction, although the going was slow. Despite that, she had to admit the rover did feel more responsive than it had before. It wasn't as awkward, and it seemed to withstand shocks from the uneven terrain better. Begrudgingly, she silently thanked her mercenary friend for her indirect help in upgrading their equipment.

"Look sharp Ash, there's one on our six. Hidden around that cliff. I didn't even see him."

Ashley swiveled in her seat and fired a steady spray toward the lone geth shock trooper. "Got him, Commander. There's more up ahead." She turned again and easily picked off the minor geth forces. "I'll bet the scouts are running back to sound the alarm."

"Probably. Tali, what are you seeing on the radar?"

"I can't see anything with this interference. I would advise caution. There could be anything on the other side of those cliffs."

"Yea, that looks like good cover for hiding something big. Better keep it slow, Shep."

Jane nodded and started moving the rover forward again. They were halfway through when the first hit struck the front of the Mako, shaking it and the crew inside.

"Oh yea, ladies, look at that. Juggernaut! Ash, you better fire the cannons at that one. Whoa, shit."

"I would if you'd stop driving! What are you trying to do, run it over?"

"Where the hell is reverse?" Jane started pounding the console and succeeded in launching the thrusters again, twisting them in midair and landing on the other side of the juggernaut.

"Ouch, forget about reverse! Just put some distance between us and that thing! I can't hit it from this angle."

"Right." Jane brought her fist down hard on the button she knew to be 'forward' and the Mako, under protest, moved faster down the beach. Ash fired and launched the cannons, barely hitting the juggernaut but causing enough damage that it wouldn't be following them for a while.

Jane had her own troubles. They were coming up on the shoreline and she still couldn't find reverse.

_This is ridiculous. Why isn't anything labeled?_

"Commander, I know we all have been asking for more shore leave, but that doesn't mean we want to leave the shore!"

"I know Ash, I'm working on it!" Jane kicked the control panel in frustration and pulled on the directional lever, hard. The rover lunched to the left and they narrowly missed the point where the beautiful beach dropped off into the mysterious oblivion. Jane hit the forward button, hard, and it brought the vehicle to a stop. She kicked the console again for good measure.

"Why don't you just let the AI drive it?"

"You know why. I don't want to encourage it."

"Yea Shep, I guess I get that. Anyway, we aren't dead yet, that's positive!" Ash commented helpfully.

Jane peered through the glass. "No, not yet. Tali, any idea what is up ahead? I think I can make out some figures, but I can't tell if they are geth or our missing Salarians."

"We're still being jammed. I can't get anything out of this radar."

"I'm surprised that you and Garrus didn't have any upgrades for it. Seems like you messed with everything else."

"Danger only sent us parts for the mobile aspects. Although," she tapped the side of her mask thoughtfully, "we _could_ see if DIDI can clean this up at all."

Jane just shook her head. "You know what? I think I'll pass. I'd rather not know what's ahead than subject myself to that kind of torture again. Just have the omni-gel ready."

"Right. Standing by, Commander."

Jane leaned forward over the console again and started the Mako moving. She pointed at a spot slightly to the west. "What do you make of that, Ash?"

"Multiple shields are up." Ash peered through the turret's scope. "There's rocket and assault drones, but none of the heavy ones. I can pick most of them off from here if you stop. They are hard to hit when moving."

Jane nodded to herself and hit the forward button again, causing the rover to come to an ungraceful stop. She was starting to get used to the new controls, but still wished she had planned better and spent more time overseeing the upgrades herself. There had to be a better way to get the vehicle to do what she wanted.

_You can't blame yourself for not being everywhere at once, Jane. The universe is asking a lot of you. _

"Nice shooting, gunny. Let's go."

"Thanks, Commander. Look, there's a few behind the shields. I'll lob some cannon fire at them. That will take them out. This camp looks like it was meant to hold a much larger force."

"It does, Ash. Do you remember our war games? It's good strategy to make your force look larger than it actually is. Don't let it psyche you out. It was the same during the Blitz. Their biggest mistake was thinking that we had forces we didn't actually have. By the time they figured it out, reinforcements had arrived."

Ash nodded and filed the information away. It wasn't often that her commanding officer talked about Elysium. She had always wanted to ask, but didn't want to step out of line. "Commander, that looks like a checkpoint. What do you think?"

"It's swarming with drones and troopers, that's what I think. We're going to need to go on foot to clear that out."

"Why not just rush through? The doors aren't down." Tali had leaned forward practically in Jane's lap and was scanning the structure in front of them.

"I'd rather secure it. Besides, we don't know what kind of firepower they have in there. We could be driving through a trap. I'm going to pull the Mako over to that rock and we'll continue on foot."

"Right." Tali returned to her seat and activated her omni-tool. "Ready."

Jane just nodded and gripped her assault rifle, then jumped out after Ash. She signaled to Ash to bring up the rear and led them to the stairs. The few drones that were guarding the initial walkway were easily dispatched, and Tali hacked the troopers that were hiding behind the divider. "Good job, Ladies. That hallway is our next destination. Fall in!"

Tali and Ash dropped behind Jane and the three of them hugged the wall as they crept down the hallway. Movement at the end of the tunnel caught Jane's eye and she held out a hand to halt the procession.

"What in the hell are those? Is that something that the quarians made, Tali? Come look at this."

Tali moved forward and peered over Jane's shoulder. "They are an evolution beyond what we originally designed. None of the geth we made could move like that. It might be technology they got from Saren and this so-called ship he has. It might be something else completely. I don't know. We call those ghosts."

"Can they be hacked?" Ash asked.

"I can try, but we generally just avoided confrontation with those."

"Yea, you know I vaguely remember seeing some of these on our first mission to Therum." Jane said it offhandedly, but her chest constricted at the reminder of where she and Liara first met.

_Later, Jane. Worry about it later._

"Didn't we also see these on Feros?" Ash commented.

"Maybe. This is the first time I've had a chance to really look at one without, oh, random mind-controlled civilians shooting each other and a Prothean archaeological find caving in on my head." She waved a hand and rolled her eyes. "Do your best Tali. Ash, we might have to just brute force this one. Take the right flank."

"Aye."

Tali didn't have much luck hacking the ghost, but the two Alliance soldiers were deadly when focusing fire. It fell to the ground, and Jane leaned on her assault rifle. "Tali, hack that weapons locker. It doesn't look like there is anything else of use in here, but maybe there are some upgrades."

"No problem, Commander." Tali made quick work of the easy decryption and the door slid open. "Just some Tungsten rounds. Huh, you'd think they wouldn't have these here."

Jane gritted her teeth. "That just means they are already shooting each other in the back. Not a good sign, but useful for us. Load up the upgrades and let's get back to the Mako."

"Um, Commander, can we get DIDI back to drive?"

Jane's eyes shot daggers at Ashley, but the Gunnery Chief's smile disarmed her and she sighed.

"I'm just kidding, Shep. Let's go!"


	52. Chapter 51: Virmire Part II

**Chapter 51 – Virmire, part II**

_**Virmire, Checkpoint I cleared**_

The team settled back into the Mako and Jane moved them through the checkpoint, albeit slowly. "Are we still jammed, Tali?"

"We are. I get momentary fragments of clear data, but it's not enough to put together a meaningful map of what is out there."

"I know what is out there, Shep. Look at that thing! It's got to be at least three times the size of the Mako!"

And it was. Directly in their path was a Colossus, towering above them and skittering back and forth across the sand.

_Shit. I'm not sure we have the firepower to take that thing down. _

"What's that behind it? Can you see through the scope, Ash?" Jane was squinting through the windshield but couldn't quite make out what she saw.

The gunnery chief grunted and then pulled the enhanced optical lens against her eye. "Two armatures behind it."

Jane let out a low whistle. "Well that seals it, ladies. They have something here they are going to extraordinary measures to protect. I wonder what it is…"

"How are we going to get past that thing, Shep?"

Jane turned around in her seat. "Tali, is there anything on board that we can use to blow that thing up?"

Tali thought for a moment, then nodded enthusiastically. "I think we can use some of this stuff Danger sent us. I guess it is something to improve fuel economy but we can probably use it as an accelerant." She pulled two small boxes full of small cans out from behind the rear bench and held it out for Jane's inspection. "If we can rig the cannons to fire some of these and then use the turrets to ignite it, that might be enough to take that colossus down."

"Do it. We don't have a lot of options and until that AA tower is down the Normandy is out of commission."

"Yes, Commander." Tali set to work and Jane leaned back in her chair, massaging her head.

"Hey," Ash poked her commanding officer. "How are you holding up?"

"Eh. Just another day in the Alliance Navy."

"Ha, you can say that again. When you signed up, you ever dream it was going to be like this?"

Jane chanced a glance back at Tali to check her progress, then thought about all of the other aliens currently about her ship. "You know what? I didn't. Not really. I just figured I'd be sent to deal with a skirmish here, a raid there, but never anything big like this. What about you?"

"I don't know, Shep. I always hoped I'd be a part of something big, but that was mostly for selfish reasons, you know?" Jane could hear the pain in her voice and nodded silently. "Now that I am a part of something big, it's not quite as glamorous as I thought it would be. Most of the time I'm too busy just hoping we get out of it alive to worry about what it will do for my career."

"Yea, I know what you mean. Still, I'm glad you are with me on this one Ash."

"Done, commander. You'll need to get us a little closer and that will put us in the crosshairs, but if we are fast enough we should be able to take it out with one shot. Hopefully the raining debris will damage the armatures behind it."

"What's the plan, Tali?"

"I need you to move us closer, and then I will use the cannon to launch the modified projectiles at the Colossus. Chief Williams will have to time her turret fire to the exact moment that it hits the geth for it to have the full effect."

Ashley nodded and pulled the gun controls back into her lap, and set her eye against the scope. "Ready when you are, Tali."

"We're probably only going to get one shot at this, so make it count, ladies!" Jane gritted her teeth and set her eyes on a target just in front of the massive geth 'tank'. She felt her pulse quicken and she reached for the tendrils of her power, just a little bit, just enough to shield them in case this all went horribly wrong. It wouldn't save them, but it would buy them time to get away.

"Here we go." Her fingers danced across the console, causing the rover to move forward directly into the geth's path. "It's noticed us! Brace yourselves, this might hurt a little!"

The geth certainly _had_ noticed them. It pivoted and turned almost gracefully, and immediately started firing upon the smaller vehicle. Jane stopped the Mako by slamming the forward button again and signaled to Tali to open fire. The quarian activated the controls, and Jane saw a… soup can? Flying through the air…

"Tali… what in the world is that?"

"There wasn't much for me to use to mix this stuff up, but Danger left all of this soup in here! The cans were perfect. I've never seen anything quite like them. Is this what you eat on Earth?"

"What did you do with what was inside?" Jane looked around the Mako, half expecting to see a flood of tomato at their feet.

Tali replied innocently, "Emergency induction port."

Jane stared blankly at the quarian, but she didn't have time to inquire further because just then Ash had lit up the turrets and the resulting explosion rolled the Mako several times.

"Yea! That got him. Look at that, Commander! There's practically nothing left!" Ash continued to fire, aiming in the general direction of the two armatures even as they were tumbling, and the two geth vehicles quickly fell. Jane though she detected a hint of bloodlust in the chief's tone. She was enjoying this.

"Nice shooting, gunny." Jane fired the thrusters and righted the rover, and started them moving forward again. "Let's just hope there aren't any more of those big ones."

"Aw, that was fun though!" Ash punched Jane in the arm and grinned. "Come on, you wish you had been the one firing. Admit it."

Jane remained silent, but the corners of her mouth twitched ever so slightly and Ash fist-pumped the air. "YEA! I knew it! Ha!"

"Um… I have a lot of hot spots on the radar, commander."

"Really? First we can't see anything, now we can see everything? Well, there's nothing we can do now, Tali. By now they know we're here. We're just going to have to be ready for whatever is out there. Annnd, it looks like it's another Armature. They must really want to keep this place secure. You have any more of those soup cans?"

"You bet, Commander."

"Ladies, fire at will."

Chief Williams grinned and waited for Tali to launch the soup can. "Direct hit, commander!"

"Yea, but a direct hit to us as well, Chief." Tali pointed at the mini schematic of the Mako under Jane's right hand. "Pull behind that rock and I'll use some omnigel to repair this."

Jane maneuvered the Mako into cover and slammed the forward button again to bring them to a stop. "Those armatures hurt. Ash, let's get out and make sure no one tries anything cute."

"Right." The two soldiers hopped out of the vehicle and took up positions on either side.

"It's quiet out here, at least."

"For the moment, Ash. I'm sure it's only for the moment."

"Hey, let me enjoy it while I can."

"Sure, just don't let your guard down."

"Shep, I'm the epitome of cognizance."

"Stop using big words. My head already hurts from dealing with that stupid computer."

"Accessing: Voice Verification Complete. I heard that, Commander Shepard."

Jane just rolled her eyes. "See?"

Tali poked her head out of the Mako and motioned for the two to get back in. "It's not 100%, but it will get us to the camp. Let's just hope we don't meet too much more resistance."

"Did you _have_ to reactivate DIDI?"

"It was more efficient to have her help with this. She has promised to behave."

Jane narrowed her eyes at the AI. "She'd better."

Tali punched a few buttons on her console, and then cursed under her breath. "Keelah, this is frustrating. We're completely jammed again, Commander."

"And that's why," Jane said, pointing ahead. "Another Big Ugly, smack in front of us. I hope we have more soup cans."

Tali didn't respond, but just launched another of her special mixture toward the Colossus. It was easy pickings for Ash with the turret gun.

"Chief Hacker Tali, Operative Danger would like you to know that you have just used fifty thousand creds worth of performance enhancing agent as a primitive bomb."

Jane glanced at Tali, raising an eyebrow. "Is she watching us?"

"No, I told her through our omni-tool link what we were doing some time ago."

"Is it an exaggeration?"

Tali shrugged. "I don't know. That's one of our towers up ahead. I believe that is our target."

"Indeed. And don't think I didn't notice you artfully changing the subject." She shook a finger at Tali to emphasize her point. "I'm going to check the credstick when we get back to the Normandy."

Tali shrugged and tried to look innocent.

"What can we expect inside, Commander?" Ash asked.

"Don't know. Resistance has been heavy as it is and that's just out in the open where they are vulnerable too. No telling what they have stacked up when they have the advantage. I'll try to come up alongside that rock on the left. It will afford us a little bit of cover, anyway."

"Shit, Commander, I thought you said alongside it not UP it!" Ash pushed against the ceiling again and looked at her commanding officer.

"DIDI, quit trying to take over the controls. I got this now."

"Commander Shepard, I have a message from Operative Danger."

"Oh, for the love of… What. What can be so crucial NOW that she just has to say?"

Just then, Jane heard a click, and the Mako seemed to groan in relief as it settled forward.

"Ok, what was that?" Jane looked around, half expecting a geth drone to pour out of the circuitry.

"The message is: 'you have been driving with the parking brake on. Really?'"

Jane closed her eyes and willed herself calm.

_Just let it go. Don't egg her on. Let it go. _

"So, DIDI, she _is_ watching us!" Ash exclaimed.

"Accessing: Voice Verification Complete. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, Operative Danger merely programmed me to assist you in any way possible."

"Yea. Thanks. Did she also seriously program you to refer to everyone by their complete title and full name?"

"No, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. Just you."

"Awesome. She's so thoughtful. Shep, I can't get a good visual from here."

"I know gunny. Just hang on a second. DIDI, where is reverse?"

The vehicle started moving in reverse.

"DIDI! I want to know where the _controls_ for reverse are."

"Of course, Commander Shepard. You simply move the forward slide in the other direction."

"In the other… You know what? I'm done." Jane turned back to the controls and glared at the slide bar that she had thought was a button.

"There, hold it there Shep! Two scouts – I don't see any others. The rest must be inside. No doubt they know we're here now. Can you move us closer? I think I see a sniper. Yea, definitely a sniper. Boom."

"Good job, Ash."

"Wait a second, Commander. There's a destroyer up there too. I can't get it from here. It's just out of range."

"We're too far away for me to hack it as well, Commander."

"I guess we will need to get inside there to take the rest of them out. There's no way we can get any closer and still be effective in the vehicle. I'll bring the Mako around and we jump out and cut our way to the top. We need to bring down that tower at all costs."

"Aye, Commander," Ash replied.

Jane and Ash jumped out first again, and as before, the commander motioned for the gunnery chief to bring up the rear. "Take cover. I heard gunfire." She flattened herself against the stairwell wall and listened.

"Where's it coming from?" Ash mouthed at Jane.

Jane motioned upward and signaled her to lay low. She started creeping up the stairs, and suddenly pivoted out and gunned down the two shock troopers in her path. Ashley and Tali followed close behind, and the quarian easily hacked the destroyer, sending it into a self-destructive frenzy.

"Tali, go take down the AA controls and hack the weapons lockers."

"Yes, Commander."

Jane nodded to Ashley and they both stood guard just outside the hallway. It wasn't long before she heard the familiar chirp in her earbud.

"Commander, I'm reading that the tower is down. We're en route to the Salarian base now."

"Copy that Joker. We're right behind you."

Jane nodded as Tali returned from her hacking. "Anything good?" she asked.

"Just more Tungsten rounds."

"Reload then. Move out."

They returned to the Mako, and Jane just waved at DIDI to take over the controls. "I don't have the strength to fight with you, or Darla, anymore. Just get us to the Salarian base in one piece.

"Of course, Commander Shepard. Operative Danger only has your best interests at heart, after all."

"Right."

"Commander?"

"Yea, Ash?"

"You're not going to like this."

_Really? What part of this HAVE I liked so far?_

"What is it?"

"Another checkpoint full of geth."

Tali looked down at the radar, and then leaned forward again almost falling into Jane's lap. "Yep. They have those gates locked up tight, no just blowing through and having the Normandy sweep back over. You'd think Joker would have had the decency to like, send a couple torpedoes down here or something."

Jane massaged her temple for what felt like the thousandth time that day. "Nah, that would have left nothing but rubble. Then we'd have to find a way over it, around it, or blast through it, or something."

"You're probably right. But I'm getting sick of climbing in and out of this rover. One of these times my suit is going to tear. Can't we just stay in the Mako?"

"We wouldn't have to get out and clean up the checkpoint if Ash's aim with that turret was better."

"Hey you try to shoot anything with your driving. It's ridiculous."

Jane almost smiled. "All right ladies, put your big girl panties on. Let's clear the rest of these out so we can get on to the salarian camp."

"Aye, Commander."

They hopped out of the rover once more and made their way up the stairs. "Hmm... Seems quiet, Commander," Tali commented.

"Too quiet," Jane grunted. She leveled her assault rifle and motioned for Williams to join her. "What do you make of this?"

"Calm before the storm?"

Jane nodded. "Probably. Suggestions?"

"None. Just have to push forward."

"Agreed."

The two fanned out, and Tali took up a position to the commander's right. It wasn't long before Ashley's prediction came true though. Overwhelming numbers started pouring out of the far hallway and pushed the team back. After their scouts had been taken out the larger force had hidden away and waited for them to approach on foot. Jane barely had time to shout a warning to everyone.

"This one is loaded! Back off! Back off!" She waved her arm and then started firing into the group. They converged on her and slowly ate away at her shields. She cursed the day dragging out this long. She hadn't activated her platinum safeguards. Either the exhaustion had finally caught up to her, or she simply forgot to activate them – either way the result was the same. She felt her shields fail, and rounds start to slam against her armor.

"Shepard's shields are down! Tali, flank them! Shit, where's the damn biotics when you need them? Tali can't you hack them or something?"

"I'm trying! Give me a minute!"

"We don't have a minute! Shepard is taking heavy fire! Get those geth hacked NOW!"

"There, got them!"

Jane felt rather than saw the geth swarm turn on each other.

_Good job, Tali. I can take it from here._

She started raining fire into the mob and one by one, the geth fell and overloaded. She felt Ash moving to her side and together they took down the last of the resistance standing in between them and the Salarian camp. She wanted to collapse in exhaustion, but this wasn't the time. She leaned on her assault rifle and motioned for Tali to scout down the hall.

"You ok, Commander?"

"Yea. My shields will regenerate. I didn't take any serious hits."

"Good. You know, maybe it's time to revisit the structure of these away teams."

"What do you mean, Ash?"

Chief Williams attached her assault rifle to the back of her armor and leaned against the overlook. "I mean, it's probably going to get worse from here, now that all the geth are gunning for us. Maybe you should think about a more diverse team."

"I still don't know what you mean, Ash. Tali has been performing pretty well. Her hacking experience has come in handy, anyway, and she hasn't gotten us killed yet."

"It has, I agree, but I wasn't talking about her. I was talking about me. You and I, we're exactly the same you know. We're both soldiers, trained in using big guns and bullying our way through encounters. You don't need another _you_ out here. You need to replace me with one of the biotics. What if this hadn't been geth? What if it had been Krogan? There's no way we would have survived it."

"You're probably right, but what are my choices? Kaidan is a great soldier, but he's unreliable. It's not his fault, but I can't trust that his amp isn't going to act up. Wrex is a strong biotic too, but he's unpredictable. You know what I'm talking about with him. My hands are tied here."

"You left out T'Soni. She's actually the best biotic of the lot and you know it. You need to replace me with her, Shepard."

"I... I can't."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Actually… I don't think I do. We've had a few conversations and tiptoe around it because of rank and this or that, but I think you're just trying to talk yourself out of responsibility for her."

Jane raised an eyebrow, not fully understanding.

"I think you're just making this too complicated. I mean, yea, we are under a load of stress and there's this whole saving the universe thing and like, Udina would probably have a cow, but what is the _real_ reason you keep playing this push\pull tug-o-war with T'Soni?"

Jane let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"I don't know Ash. I keep making these stupid decisions, and saying these stupid things, and then everything I intended to happen turns out…"

"Stupid?" Ashley supplied.

"Yea. Stupid."

"You know what's really stupid?"

"What?"

"Having a clear chance at something great to see you through the darkness, and getting in your own way of having it. That's what I think is stupid."

Just then, they heard a click and the structure shuddered a bit. Tali came back, practically bouncing. "That did it. We shouldn't have any more trouble reaching the camp."

"That is, as long as the commander doesn't try to drive up the stairs or something equally _stupid._" Jane just grunted.

Ashley made a big show of scratching her cheek for a moment before thoughtfully adding, "You know I originally thought that your clumsiness was a byproduct of Liara being all asari and you know. Asari. But now I'm beginning to think you really are just inept."

"Pft." Jane waved her off. "Stand down, gunny. It's this stupid car. We should have never encouraged Tali and Garrus."

"Agreed."

"Look – there goes Joker. Was he just flying in circles this whole time?" Tali pointed at the Normandy which was just touching down in the distance. As if on cue, their earbuds chirped signaling communications on the standard channel.

"Commander, Normandy's touched down at the base but it looks like we're grounded. The Salarian captain can explain when you get here."

"Great. I just can't wait to see what this is all about." Jane hoisted her assault rifle over her shoulder and leaned back, stretching her muscles.

"Well Commander, at least they are alive."

"How many of them remains to be seen, though," commented Tali.

"Well, just stay sharp everyone. They may be our allies but after the Benezia fiasco I don't trust anyone. I especially don't trust the council or anything that they have set us out to do."

"Aye Commander. And commander?"

"Yea, Ash?"

"Think about what I said."


	53. Chapter 52: Revelations and Revulsions

**Chapter 52: Revelations and Revulsions**

**_-Normandy, Main Battery_**

The low humming sound of the Normandy's diagnostics systems surrounded him as his hands danced across the keypad. This place in the main battery was his solitary refuge, his… sanctuary… when he needed to be alone or needed time to think. He escaped here when the rest of the crew was occupied with other duties, when he was left behind, or when he just wanted to be alone. It was his asylum, when he was worried about things that were beyond his control and couldn't articulate his feelings to any of his new friends.

This was one of those times.

Garrus Vakarian punched the same numbers, in the same sequence, on the same cannon, for what was probably the fifteenth time, but his eyes stared unseeing at the output on the small screen. He could do these calibrations in his sleep, and as the commander often joked, he likely did. It was comforting to him to have something even marginally useful to work on since the commander took Tali down to Virmire. There wasn't much else he could do to help with the AA towers keeping the Normandy airborne, and he had to trust that Tali could handle the Mako. Oh, if they had been able to land he probably could have provided additional ground support, leading some of the other crewmembers and he would have jumped at the opportunity in a heartbeat… but since they only had one vehicle and no shuttles aboard the Normandy, he was stuck. All he could do was standby and wait for an update… and it was killing him.

He smiled to himself in his birdlike way, the slightest curve of his mandible being the only outward sign of his amusement.

_I used to be afraid of leading. Now I'm getting cabin fever. Imagine that. Vakarian, you've changed. Commander Shepard is responsible for that. _

She had believed in him and brought him along on her hunt for Saren, even when his superiors dismissed his gut feelings and tried to put him back in his place. She took the time to help him grow as a soldier and a leader, and to make him feel at home on this very alien ship. She saw something in him that no one ever had before, and he'd follow her to the ends of the universe just so he could try to capture for himself even a little bit of what made Jane Shepard so special. He'd of course crossed paths with humans before during his time at C-Sec, but none of them were quite like the commander. None of them had her charm, her integrity, her drive. None of them came close to the self-sacrificing and humble hero he'd gotten to know over the last few months.

He had _faith_ inher, and for him, that didn't come easy.

He closed his eyes and leaned over the console, hanging his head just a little. The waiting was the worst. He trusted the commander to keep the team focused and safe, but every time they stepped out on a mission they came back with a few more scrapes, a few deeper wounds, and a much heavier burden. Each mission gave them another clue; brought them a little closer to Saren and this conduit that he was searching for. Sooner or later, they would catch up to him and all that they had accomplished so far could be vindicated or negated by his commanding officer's choices.

Shepard often chose the same team members when she went on an away mission, but this time it had been different. Before, she would always take Tali and Liara with her. Garrus was content with that. Sure, he wouldn't mind getting off the ship and stretching his legs a bit, but the commander needed the best hacker and that was Tali hands down. There was that smile again, when he thought of the quarian engineer. In a moment, however, it darkened into a frown as he was reminded that this time, at the very last minute, the commander replaced Liara with Chief Williams. He had a feeling he knew why; the scuttlebutt on the ship was beyond belief with information pertaining to the commander and the young asari doctor, but he didn't understand why she was letting her personal feelings get in the way of duty. It didn't make sense, and it wasn't the Jane Shepard he knew and looked up to. It wasn't the Jane Shepard he trusted to bring Tali back safe.

A scratch at the door startled him out of his thoughts.

_Well, look who it is. I guess I'm not the only one worrying about what's going on down on the surface._

Doctor Liara T'Soni stood in the doorway, almost shyly looking at the much taller turian in the main battery. "Garrus, do you have a moment?"

Garrus nodded and motioned for the asari to come in. "I see misery loves company."

"Yes, you are correct. I am worried about… the team."

"Yea, me too." He thought about pressing the matter and forcing Liara to admit what, or more accurately, whom, she was really worried about, but thought better of it. Who was he to call her out anyway? She might storm out or snatch him up in a biotic field or something **really**... unpleasant. As it was, he had to admit a little company right now didn't sound like such a bad idea.

"I'm sorry that there is nowhere to sit in here, Liara. Turians don't mind standing for long periods, you know."

"Yes, I know. It is fine, Garrus. I just wanted, I guess, not to be alone."

"I'm glad you came." He turned around and leaned back on the console, staring at the ceiling. "Just between you and me, I think she should have taken you with her."

Liara looked at him quizzically. "Why do you say that?"

"The range of skills on the team is limited with the current setup. Taking the chief may give her more firepower, but I worry that one of these times the commander is going to get herself into a situation she can't bully her way out of, and someone is going to get seriously hurt." He studied the asari for a moment, wondering just how far he could push before her skin would start glowing. "Do you know why she made that last minute roster change?"

It was Liara's turn to lean back and stare at the ceiling. Quietly she replied, "Yes."

"Care to share?"

"Not particularly."

"I expected as much. It's ok, Liara, we all have our secrets."

They stood that way in silence for some time, just listening to the comforting hum and hoping against hope to hear the familiar chirp of the comm system signaling that they were picking up the away team. It was too soon… but there was still always hope. Liara decided to try to change the subject.

"Have you heard from Danger at all, Garrus?"

He shook his head. "Nah, not since she's been gone anyway. She mostly talks to Tali and I get all the dirt secondhand. From what I understand she is well, though, if that's what you were asking."

"Good."

They lapsed into silence once more, and Garrus turned back to his console and started pressing the same buttons yet again.

"How long does it usually take to calibrate that?" Liara gestured to the console.

He made a big show of tapping his head thoughtfully and nodding sagely, "Oh, about five minutes or so."

Liara grinned and moved to look over his shoulder. "Why do you spend so much time in here then?" She couldn't make sense of the formulas he was entering so she stepped back and hoisted herself onto the edge of a nearby table.

"I just need to _do_ something, you know? I don't expect the commander to take me on missions and I think you know the reason behind that, but I still need to feel like I'm _doing_ something to help them; to keep them safe."

Liara opened her mind to the void and lazily looked around. There was the usual chatter, mundane musings that were little more than white noise from the crewmembers aboard the ship, but there was also something else. Turians in general had strong minds that were hard to read and Garrus was no exception, but Liara thought she sensed a deeper worry than just a crewmember's concern for an away team.

_I wonder if he is in love with Jane too. _

"I know just what you mean, Garrus, but the commander can take care of herself. She is quite an experienced soldier."

"Yea, she is, but Tali isn't."

_Ah, so we get to the heart of it. _Liara was more than a little relieved that the impressive turian wasn't interested in Jane Shepard. She had enough problems as it was with asari. No need to invite turians into her personal hell to boot.

"Chief Williams is also there," Liara pointed out.

"Chief Williams should be here and you should be there. Why didn't you argue about the roster change?"

"It… it is… complicated."

"Liara," Garrus lowered his voice and she closed her eyes allowing its comforting resonance to wash over her. "What hasn't been since we joined this crew?"

_He is right. I should have argued instead of just taking the easy way out and letting Jane make the decision. This mission is too dangerous for us to allow our personal feelings get in the way. I am the strongest biotic here and Tali is the best hacker, with Jane leading us as the best soldier. Those missions we did do were perfect, in every way. _

"Garrus, do you ever worry that you are just losing control over everything?"

He studied her for a moment, and then narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

_What __**do **__I mean? _

She took a steadying breath before continuing.

"Sometimes I feel strong. I feel like I know exactly what is going on, exactly who I am, exactly where I came from and what I need to do. I am in complete control and there is nothing that my wit and my biotics cannot handle." She leaned back on her hands and looked across the room at her companion. "Then there are other times where I am just so uncertain. There are so many things going on and it is hard to keep track of them all. More than once I have wished that I had never gotten tangled up in all of this. It is just too hard to keep up with it all. Life was so much easier when it was just me, alone, with my ruins."

"We all wish that sometimes, Liara. But think of the alternative – you could still be in that biotic field on Therum. You might not even **be** here if you weren't 'tangled up' in all of this."

She waved it off and closed her eyes for a moment. "I know. I am grateful to the commander for rescuing me and keeping me on board as a member of the crew. I just mean that, sometimes it is overwhelming."

"Just sometimes?"

She heard the grin in his voice and couldn't help herself. She grinned back.

"Ok, more than sometimes. How do you cope with it?"

"Well," he thought about it for a moment. "You know, I just think about what is important to me. I have friends now, comrades that I can count on. There's a lot of danger and at any moment it could all be over, but what really keeps me on my feet is engine oil."

Liara scrunched up her face, trying to figure out what he was talking about. "Engine oil? That does not make any sense."

"It will. You're pretty close with Danger, right? Shepard's mechanic friend?"

"You could say that."

"She told me something once that stuck with me and I've applied it to every situation ever since. She said, 'Garrus, relationships are just like machines. There's two ways to handle them. You can perform routine maintenance and keep them running for a really long time even though sometimes it's a royal pain the ass and you mostly end up burned… or you can just say fuck it and watch them rot from the inside out until they fall apart and you have to move onto something new and do it all over again. It's really that simple.' What she really meant was that all of this," he gestured to the weapons systems and the rest of the ship, "doesn't mean anything if we don't nurture the interpersonal relationships that make all of is special; that make all of it _real._ You can always find another body to satisfy the moment, but the real reason any of us is doing this is because there's so much more to hold on to."

Silence washed over them once more, but Liara wasn't sure about Danger's meaning.

"How do you know she was not encouraging you to jump from person to person? It sounds an awful lot like the former was a lot of work for little reward in the end."

Garrus opened his mouth to reply, and then shut it again. He thought about it for a few moments. Maybe Liara had a point. Or maybe she was just trying to talk herself out of something.

"No, she definitely meant that the long term stuff was worthwhile. Remember, the last time I talked to her she was still getting over that whole matriarch thing so maybe there was a little more vitriol than there needed to be… "

Liara laid her hand on his mouth, stopping the rest of his response. "I know, Garrus. You are right about Danger's meaning. So what do you think I should do?"

"Well, Liara, I'm not one to put much stock in scuttlebutt, generally speaking, but there's always some truth to the rumors so I'm going to go ahead and assume the real reason you are here is concern over Shepard. Personally, I think it's foolish and distracting to both of you to **not** be on away missions together."

"Yes, I agree." She could only imagine what was going through the commander's mind right now. After the debriefing when she was given the cold shoulder, she thought she sensed something in the void that felt a lot like despair and loneliness, but it was covered up almost as soon as she felt it, and then the commander had left the ship before she could get a moment alone with her.

"I think you need to talk to her and get it worked out. She needs you out there in the field with her, and frankly, I'd feel better with you out there as well. I respect the chief and all, but she doesn't have the talents you do."

"I know, Garrus." She eyed him speculatively, sizing him up and wondering if she should ask this next question. Eventually she decided it would be worth it to know the answer. "Can I ask you a question?"

He hesitated. "I suppose…"

"When Danger was giving you that advice about relationships, what had you asked her about?"

Garrus smiled sadly and looked back at the ceiling. He didn't really want to get into this, but it was only fair after he'd given her the business regarding Shepard. "You got me. There was someone specific in mind, but if it's all the same to you, I'd like to keep it to myself for now."

Liara nodded. "I understand, Garrus. It is not easy with the whole crew in your business." She pushed herself off the table and put her arms around his neck. "Thank you Garrus. I think I am going to lie down for a bit and think about what you said."

"Ok. You're welcome to stop back here any time, Liara."

"Thank you." She turned and waved to him before closing the airlock and leaving the large turian once again alone with his thoughts. He looked back down at the calibrations he was doing, and smiled.

_Thanks for stopping by, Liara. It was nice to tell someone… even if I didn't really 'tell' you. _

* * *

><p><strong>-Normandy, Sickbay Storage room<strong>

Liara laid down on the small cot and put her hands behind her head. The ceiling didn't hold any answers for her, but she asked the questions anyway.

_What do I do? How do I do it? What will happen to us?_

Her talk with Garrus had mostly put her mind at ease and she thought she knew what she had to do, but there was still that gnawing self-doubt.

_I have already rejected her so many times. Over and over again, she has come to me and I have not been prepared to handle it. What can I do? I wish you were here, Benezia. I wish I had not left so abruptly. I wish I had not… done many things. _

Liara turned over and pulled her legs up to her chest. Closing her eyes, she said a silent prayer, though she didn't really expect any gods existed much less were listening.

_If you do nothing else for me in this lifetime, please, grant me this one request. Please give me the strength, courage, and knowledge I need to see myself, and the one I love, through this darkness. _

It wasn't long after that, that Doctor Liara T'Soni fell asleep, with Jane Shepard's whispered name flitting softly across her lips.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Nightmares<strong>_

"_Well hello, Child." _

_Liara was on the ground. How did she get on the ground? She didn't know, but here she was. She stared upward, looking for the source of the statement, looking for any clue as to what was happening to her. The figure floating above was oddly translucent, yet the voice resonated all around her and seemed to shake even the cold, hard marble-like surface she was resting on. _

"_Mother?"_

"_After a fashion…" The avatar gracefully descended into the throne directly opposite where Liara was sitting and shimmered into opacity. The young asari's eyes were transfixed by her beauty and dignity, and she couldn't wrest them away from the darkness that seemed to bubble just beneath the surface of the magnificent creature's otherworldly oculi._

"_You may call me, 'My Goddess'."_

"_Athame…" Liara breathed, not believing. _

_The tall, asari-like being with the obsidian skin waved absently and stretched her wings out behind her. Leaning back casually and crossing one lengthy leg over the other, she turned her eyes on the miserable wretch who was causing her no end of grief. _

"_Yes… I see it now. You have the look of her, for sure. More's the pity." Athame sighed and motioned for Liara to move closer. "Come here then, Child. I need to have a proper look at you."_

_Liara scrambled to her hands and knees and stumbled forward, her eyes never leaving the goddess' face. She didn't dare speak. Athame leaned forward, took Liara's chin in one of her hands and jerked her face upward. _

"_You are a direct descendant of my line and frankly, Child; you have been mostly an embarrassment."_

_Liara had no idea what the goddess was talking about. Even if she did, she wasn't sure she would respond. Something about the ancient creature's voice was unnerving, like it was speaking through her rather than toward her; like it was originating from ages long ago instead of the present moment. It was similar to when Benezia would scold her, but somehow… more final. It… echoed… and fell dead, all somewhere inside her core._

_Athame let go of Liara and the young doctor fell to the ground. It took a great effort to push herself up to the kneeling position._

"_You children are so ungrateful. Always thinking you know better than we do. Always giving us no end of grief! You especially have been trouble. It's not like I haven't been **telling** you exactly what to do all this time. It's not like I haven't been boosting your power when you needed it, helping you along. Noooo, you make me bring you all the way __**here**__." She gestured wildly with her topmost hands for emphasis. "Now we're going to have to do things the __**hard**__ way. Congratulations."_

_Liara still had no clue what this self-proclaimed goddess was talking about. Vaguely she remembered whisperings in her head… but that was just PTSD or something, right? It was just the loss of her mother hitting her especially hard, yes? It couldn't have been… not __**really**__ been…. There was just no… way…_

"_This is a bad dream. I will wake up, and be on the Normandy, and all of this will be behind me. Just a dream." Liara held the sides of her head as if it would stop the thundering voice from entering her brain._

"_Oh, you will wake up all right. But, whether you wake up on your ship or in your next lifetime is entirely up. to. you." With each word Athame tapped Liara's nose to drive home her point. Then she stood and extended her wings, darkening the already stormy sky, and raised her hands to the maelstrom. _

"_Behold! The Trials of Athame!"_

_Suddenly, the throne disappeared and the goddess along with it. The canopy Liara didn't even know was there dropped away, and the young asari's breath caught as she stared at the beauty… and the misery, of the vast expanse of nothingness before her. _

"_Wow. This… cannot be happening to me."_

_From somewhere in the distance, Liara could have sworn she heard the sound of a very large palm slapping against an equally large forehead._

* * *

><p>AN – Don't worry. It's probably not what you are expecting. Remember, Athame is a little… touched… And irritated. And most of all - bored. This isn't going to be Jane Trials Revisited. Athame has no clue what she is doing, to be quite honest.

I hope to be through the second half of Virmire this weekend and have our heroes back together and on new adventures again very soon!


	54. Chapter 53: On the subject of dating

Chapter 53: On the subject of dating…

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, accounting offices<strong>_

"Hey, Rolus."

The turian accountant looked up from the datapad he was reading in time to watch a grinning Danger slump into the seat across from him. He put it down on the desk and folded his clawlike hands together, a slight grin gracing his birdlike features in return. Danger just had that effect on him.

"Hello Danger. What can I do for you? Do you need something?"

Darla fidgeted a little and shook her head. "No, not really." She looked around his offices, which weren't quite as glamorous or luxurious as the matriarch's, but they were quietly comfortable and reflected Rolus' personality perfectly. There were some photos on the walls of turians that Danger could only guess were relatives of his. Some wore military uniforms and some wore casualwear, but they all resembled him in facial structure and coloring. On his desk were images of his wife and children, and stacks of datapads with notes taped to them. There were no weapons on the walls like many turians would have, and instead there were tapestries depicting what Danger could only surmise were love stories. She stopped looking around, opened her mouth to speak, and then shut it again.

He waited a few moments, and then sat back in his chair. There was something on the human's mind; that much was obvious. She didn't usually come to his offices unless she was summoned. He had a feeling she didn't really go much of anywhere, instead choosing to spend what little down time there was in the security room so that the matriarch could find her if needed.

_And the matriarch does seek you out often enough now, doesn't she? _

He suppressed the urge to chuckle and just waited for Danger to say something. It was true that since the mercenary's not so triumphant return, Terriana's dark mood (and the dark electricity that had permeated the entire household during that horrible week) had lifted. The elder asari was very nearly happy again, and any moment that she had free was spent with Danger. From dawn until dusk, the mercenary was on duty, and Rolus suspected very much that Terriana wanted her off duty hours as well, though from what he could tell she had yet to articulate it.

_She's too stubborn. Danger can be trusted, and after all these years, Terriana deserves to be loved. _

He mentally berated himself for letting his thoughts drift. This felt like a pivotal moment, and he didn't want to discourage the young human by making her think he wasn't paying attention. In fact, he was hoping beyond hope that something would finally give and the tangible tension that was present throughout the household would dissipate. Never before had he seen two creatures so obviously made for one another get so in the way of simple happiness.

"Well," she finally started. "I've kind of been thinking, you know?"

He just cocked his head to the side and waited.

"Um. Yea." Danger cleared her throat. "You know how Terriana is always coming to get me to go over logs in the garden?"

Rolus folded his arms and nodded, unsure, but hopeful, about where this was going.

Danger scratched absently at the back of her neck and bit her lower lip. This was harder than she thought, and this was only Rolus! "Well, um. That's pretty much _all_ we ever do. Meetings, and logs, and meals. That's it."

Rolus had to suppress that chuckle again. Now he had an idea where this was going, and it was all he could do to not sigh in relief that Danger was finally going to actually make… a move.

"The matriarch does work quite a bit, I agree," he replied easily.

"Right!" She nodded excitedly and sat forward in her chair, pleased he understood what she was saying. "So yea, I was thinking that, maybe it would be good to like, I don't know... Not work for once? Or something…" somehow during the exchange she had managed to knock her hair fastener loose and the mess of blonde normally kept under control flipped into her face. Danger growled, glaring at it and gathering it at the back of her neck again before crossing her arms and slumping back down, this time even lower in the seat.

_It's almost as if she's trying to hide. She's such a nervous wreck when it comes to Terriana. Human and asari pairs are so curious. It wasn't like this with Michelle. We just saw one another, and that was the end of it. None of this runabout angsty nonsense. One day we were both alone and searching, and the next day we weren't. It's simple, right? _

"What did you have in mind, Danger?"

She took her time in answering. Danger had thought a lot about this lately and was terrified of what it meant. In truth, she'd gone on one date in her entire life and it turned out to be disastrous. One of her merc friends had fixed her up with her brother, and Danger decided to be a good sport about it and give the guy a chance. He was nice enough, and she wasn't entirely opposed to the company but something didn't feel right and she had zero interest in pursuing it further. At the end of the night when they were walking back to the compound, he asked her if she wanted to go out again. She didn't, and told him so, blissfully unaware of the concept of tact. It turned into a biotic brawl that would have made Jane Shepard jealous. After that, Danger never really considered it again… until now.

But this was stupid, right? It just felt dumb to be thinking about this. What was she supposed to do, take Terriana to some fancy restaurant or something? Dinner and a movie? Walk under the moonlight? Dress up? She wouldn't even know how! She'd never owned a nice set of clothes in her life. If it didn't have a picture of a car on it, she didn't have it. She looked through her bags, her drawers, her rovers – nothing at all that could pass for being formal. Maybe her security uniforms, but gah, that was bad too. She didn't want to give Terriana the impression this was business as usual. She didn't want to pretend to be the dutiful mercenary anymore. From the time she arose in the morning to the time she regretfully said good night late into the evenings, she was guarding the matriarch, but not because she was a paid bodyguard. She did it… because she always wanted to be by Terriana's side.

Danger had thrown everything back into a pile and slumped in front of her console afterwards. She just wasn't good enough for the matriarch. The whole thing was stupid and she should just forget it. Completely stupid. She flipped the switch and sat there, watching another race and feeling miserable when it hit her. _If it didn't have a picture of a car on it, she didn't have it._ That was it! Something she had thought about in passing when she first got back to the compound. If there was anywhere that Danger was comfortable and in her element, it was in her cars. She had nearly bolted out the door to go and talk to Rolus, and now here she was, barely able to articulate her idea even to someone she trusted. This shit was hard.

Rolus saw the inner turmoil clearly on the mercenary's face. She wasn't doing anything to hide her emotions, and the accountant and long-time companion to the matriarch felt a twinge of pain in his heart for her. In all the years serving the L'Niari household, he'd never seen the elder asari so much as look twice at anyone, and it wasn't as though she was isolated her entire life. She was surrounded by training asari maidens and matrons, her compound being located next to the warrior school and the local government offices. She had been all over the galaxy, to the Citadel, and even to Omega on occasion. She'd had plenty of opportunities to experiment with love, and the L'Niari money could always buy silence or… use other means to obtain it. And through all the years, Terriana remained aloof and reserved, and if Rolus had thought before that it was because of the burden she carried, he held no such illusions now. It just wasn't until this bizarre human mercenary entered her life that she had let a bit of light peek through and start to melt the ice around her heart.

Rolus wanted to tell Danger all of this, of course… but he knew it wasn't his place. If this was going to happen, it would have to be on their terms or not at all. Any _major_ interference by him might be disastrous. So, he remained silent and just studied Danger's face.

_Yes, I see it, Terriana. She's not beautiful like Shepard or Michelle is, but she has a unique look. There's kindness there and sacrifice, and by Valluvian she must be in love with you. _

"Does she know how to drive?"

That was unexpected. He thought about it for a moment. "You know Danger, I'm not really sure. I don't think I have ever seen her drive, but I've only known her a few hundred years you know." In truth, he didn't know and wished he had a more solid answer. Danger's face fell at his reply, and he was quick to fill the silence. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, you know, I just. Well thought I might…" she paused, unsure how much she wanted to reveal now. "Well if I took some time off… she could... drive herself to meetings, right?" It was lame and she knew it. She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. This was so fucking hard!

Rolus decided it was time to be more direct, especially if he was completely off the mark on where this was going. "Danger, what's on your mind? You know I'd hire someone to drive us to meetings if you needed time off. Do you have something going on and you need to go away for a bit?"

"NO!" her head snapped up and she closed her eyes, surprised at her own force. "No," more softly. "I don't need time off. I just… was thinking… that's all." She opened her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself.

Rolus moved forward and pushed some datapads aside to lean on his desk. "You know you can trust me, right? I work for her, but I'd never tell her something that you told me in confidence. She doesn't know about the arrangement with your salary. I've kept my word on that. You can trust me with whatever is on your mind."

Danger bit her lip again and raised her eyebrows, almost fearfully. "Rolus, I just thought maybe if she… you know, didn't know how, that… well… um, I could… teach her, right? It would be an excuse to like, not work. And well, it could be almost like…" She squeezed her eyes shut and scrunched her face, barely forcing the next words out. "like… you know, a… date?" She cautiously opened one eye, terrified of his reaction. A million things were going through her mind – mostly centered around the words 'stupid', 'foolish', 'idiotic' and 'ridiculous'.

To her surprise, he was nodding, almost… excitedly? "Yes, it would get her away from the compound and it might do her some good to step away from the diplomatic drama for a while."

Danger opened her other eye and stared openly at him. She'd expected to be immediately shot down, to be informed that the matriarch was far too busy for such ridiculous things. Though, as she sat there and thought more about it, she wasn't really sure WHAT she expected Rolus to say. Maybe she had wanted him to say something horrible like that, to reinforce her earlier ideas of not being good enough for Terriana. Maybe she'd expected him to laugh that booming laugh of his, at the silliness of the notion. Maybe she'd expected to be comforted – the poor hapless human that fell for the powerful asari matriarch… a child to be pitied.

She almost didn't hear when he continued. "When did you have in mind? There is quite a bit of free time coming up on the schedule for…" He scattered some datapads looking for the one he kept their schedule in. "Well look at that, there's one meeting tomorrow morning but the rest of the time is free. Why not schedule it for tomorrow afternoon? I can put it in the database and that should at least save you the trouble of having to do… this," he gestured to her, clearly indicating her discomfort and fear, "again."

Not only was he not making fun of her, but he was… _helping_ her? She shook her head and sat up in her chair.

"No? Ok, well after tomorrow there isn't another full free afternoon until late next week. His clawlike hands danced over the schedule, searching. "I can move some things around, I suppose."

"NO! No, Rolus that's not why I was shaking my head. I mean, are you as crazy as I am or something? This sounds ridiculous, right? Stupid?"

Rolus just stared blankly at her. _Is she trying to talk herself out of this? _

"Not at all. What is ridiculous about you and the matriarch spending time together? It's not like you don't already spend every waking second in each other's company. In fact, her call with the turian councilor should be over in ten minutes and I would be very shocked indeed if she didn't come fetch you to go over logs. Or maybe I'm misinterpreting?" He congratulated himself on his own shrewdness.

"What? No! You didn't misinterpret things… wait! Um... I mean, well... yea. I don't know what I mean, Rolus. Why is this so freaking… _hard?_"

He put the datapad down and stood up. This was delicate, and he needed to find just the right thing to say to give Danger the self-assurance she needed without interfering too much or overstepping the confidence of either her _or_ the matriarch. He came around to the other side of his desk and took the seat directly opposite.

"Danger, what's really going on here?"

"Gosh, Rolus, I don't know." She leaned back and stuck her hands in her pockets. "I just… really like spending time with Terriana but it's like, always silence, you know? It's always logs, logs, logs. She barely looks up from the datapad and I'm just… you know, afraid to interrupt her. Don't get me wrong, I love being out there with her but sometimes I just think that maybe… maybe she wants more too? I don't know. This whole thing is just… stupid. I mean… she probably wouldn't even want to go driving with me."

_Well, old man, here it is. Time to give this thing a little nudge and see if all this trouble was actually worth it. _

"Darla," he began, switching to her given name hoping that she would understand the underlying seriousness of his next statement. "Darla, I _think_, quite frankly, that the matriarch would go just about anywhere with you. I'll put it on the schedule, and trust that you can take it from there."

Danger stood slowly, silently. There was nothing more to say. In his own way, Rolus had as much as _told_ her that she wasn't imagining any of it. Any doubt she might have had was erased with that one phrase, but in its wake a new fear was rising. Fear of… _really_ fucking all of this up. Danger was beginning to wonder if it _ever_ ended. She turned and walked stiffly to the door, completely forgetting to even thank him.

"And Danger?" he called as she was nearly outside his office. "I really wish you the very best of luck."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, Diplomatic Offices<strong>_

Matriarch Terriana L'Niari slammed the comm button to sever the link. She had been on that call for over two hours, and still wasn't any closer to an agreement with the turian government than they had been before Benezia had passed. She rubbed the bridge of her nose and once more mourned the loss of the spiritual leader. She hadn't realized how much Benezia had done for the nation until now, when most of her duties were being handed down among her followers and some of the selected elders. This problem was one that stretched back centuries and was linked to the genophage. The turians were seeking their allegiance in earnest after uncovering intelligence that there was a faction of salarians that were genuinely trying to cure it. It was a never ending cycle and she was doing her best to keep the asari out of it. They should have never gotten involved in the first place.

She leaned back in her chair and picked up a datapad. Her meetings for the day were over, and she was looking forward to spending time with Danger. In fact, thoughts of eventually being able to escape the stuffy room and the even stuffier diplomatic company were the only things that kept her sane during that meeting. She would check her messages and schedule then go to the security offices to pick Danger up. Then she would unwind out in the garden, just listening to the human doze off on their bench as she pretended to read her notes. She was also looking forward to pushing her luck a little further this time.

When Danger had first returned, she kept a large amount of space between them. Terriana let her, because she understood that it was going to take time to get back to where they had been before the big blowout. Over the course of the last few weeks though, that had been changing. Little by little, Danger was closing the distance and becoming more comfortable being back at the compound. They had finally reached the point they had been at before Danger had left, but that wasn't enough for Terriana anymore. She was bored of the rumors and wanted them put to rest, wanted the others to know that the human was officially off limits. Tonight, she wanted to feel that lazy arm around her, instead of folded neatly across Danger's stomach.

She flicked through the pages on the datapad, glancing at messages and sending polite, but short, replies where needed. Her time was valuable, and she didn't want to waste any more of it than was absolutely necessary on her duties. Finally, she flipped to the next day's schedule, to confirm her appointment time with the asari High Council, and more precisely, the concluding time of that last meeting of the day. The ends of meetings were far more important, because that signaled the start of her alone time with her mercenary bodyguard. These days her work never went past mid-afternoon. She made sure of that, and Rolus was well aware that he was to only schedule things for the morning and early afternoon if necessary. The only time she would take later meetings would be if she had to travel off-world, and she wouldn't be doing any traveling for at least the next month and that left plenty of lazy mid-day excursions to enjoy Danger's…

She narrowed her eyes and slammed a specific button on her comm terminal – a well-worn button that had seen centuries of use – and a non-committal grunt came from her advisor and assistant.

"Rolus, I have seen the schedule for tomorrow." She threw the datapad face down on her desk and glared at the receiver.

"Oh? Something wrong?"

"Of course there is something wrong. We have discussed this. There are to be no meetings past the mid-afternoon hour. Was I not clear?"

"You were clear, Matriarch. Did you even look at the schedule?"

"Yes, I looked at the schedule. I can see that you have blocked out a meeting for well past the dinner hour! This is completely unacceptable."

"Terriana, did you actually _look_ at the entry?"

She narrowed her eyes at the comm, though he couldn't see her and the effect was wasted. "Rolus, may I remind you who signs your paychecks? You know full well why I am no longer…"

"Oh you are stubborn as all hell." He practically shouted at her, silencing her and activating the vid portion of the call. "Will you just _look_ at the damn entry and stop arguing with me?"

She glowered at him, her rage just beneath the surface unconsciously activating her biotic strength. Never taking her eyes off him, she picked up the datapad and glanced down at it, immediately returning to hold his gaze and almost challenging him to… wait… what was that?

She looked down at the datapad, and then back up again.

"Driving lesson with Danger? Rolus, what is this 'driving lesson'?"

"You want the truth?"

She stared blankly at him, wondering what he meant by that. Would she want him to lie instead? What was he talking about? He spent far too much time around humans. He was starting to confuse her.

"Nevermind. You know, Terriana, I think that's Danger's way of asking you out on a date."

"A… What?"

Rolus hesitated, but only for a second. He decided on the sarcastic approach. "Well Terriana, a date happens when one person is romantically interested in the other and plans an activity, and the other person agrees to spend the time together. It's a very simple concept, really."

Terriana leaned on her desk for support. "Rolus, I am fully aware of what a date is. What I meant was…" She looked at the datapad again. "I don't understand. I know how to drive, Rolus."

He nodded. "Yes, I expected as much. But Danger doesn't know that, and I got the feeling she gave a lot of thought about what to do before coming to me."

"She came to _you_ about this?"

He grinned. "Matriarch, you aren't exactly approachable. She came to me to see what I thought about the idea. Do _you_ want to know what I think about it?"

_Not particularly. I had everything planned out perfectly. Today we'd sit on the bench as usual, I'd go over my logs and maybe take to pacing a bit. Every time I would sit back down, it would be a little closer than before. If all goes well, Danger will get the hint and…_

"Matriarch?"

"What?" She hadn't been paying attention to him.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Rolus," she snapped. "I just don't understand what on earth my bodyguard thinks I need a driving lesson for. That's why I hired _her_. "

Rolus was incredulous. The woman had to be completely dense to not understand what was going on here. "Matriarch, do you really think that this is about _driving_?"

Terriana stared once more, still not quite registering what Rolus was trying to tell her. The turian just sighed and thought of an old human saying that Michelle was always quoting to him: in for a penny, in for a pound.

"Look, Terriana. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but here's how I see it. You have two choices. Your first choice is to inform Danger that you have no need of a 'driving lesson' and completely crush her, because we both know this has nothing whatsoever to do with actually teaching you how to drive. Or, you can use some of that diplomatic skill for something that actually _matters_, play dumb, and enjoy spending time with Danger away from work and the confines of the compound. Now, I have to go. Michelle needs me to attend a conference at the school with her."

Terriana was dumbstruck, but gathered herself quickly. "Is everything all right, Rolus?" He was giving her a graceful way out of the conversation, and she was going to take it.

"Fine, fine. Just routine, nothing to worry about. I'll let Michelle know you were concerned, Matriarch. If that will be all?"

She waved absently and the vidcomm display cut off.

'We both know this has nothing whatsoever to do with actually teaching you how to drive.' That's what Rolus had said.

_Could it be possible? Well, of course it's possible… After all, you were just contemplating how to force her hand and start down that path yourself. And why not? Maybe it's not the most romantic thing ever imagined, but this _is_ Danger, anyway. Nothing with her has been expected or ordinary. _

In that moment, Terriana made a decision and rushed out the doors to start the rest of her day. Later that evening, when Danger kicked absently at the ground and quietly asked if she knew how to drive, she didn't hesitate in the slightest with a resounding 'no'.

Danger's grin lit up the rest of her night.


	55. Chapter 54: The subject of not dating

**Chapter 54: On the subject of… not… dating.**

A/N - There's a deliberate misspelling in here. Yep. A _deliberate_ one! :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, Security offices<strong>_

Danger was looking forward to today. In fact, she had hardly slept the previous night. Something about the look in the matriarch's eyes when she answered that shy question erased any doubts she might have been having about the whole idea. The force that she put behind the declaration, the way she so obviously made it clear that it was a bold-faced lie told Danger that Rolus was right about everything and she needn't have been so nervous. Terriana always checked the schedule for the next day before coming to see Danger, because they often would plan how to handle security before retiring to their spots on the bench. She _knew_, and was encouraging it. There was nothing at all to be nervous about.

_So why do I feel sick to my stomach?_

Danger wandered out into the hallway, with no clear idea where she was going. No one else in the household seemed to be up, and though Danger would have liked to have gone outside to train in the garden with the morning shift of warriors, she thought better of it. It wouldn't do to incur the wrath of Terriana over something so trivial, not now. Not when she was so very close to figuring this whole thing out once and for all. Nothing was going to spoil this day. Nothing.

She found herself wandering past the kitchen, where the head cook was getting ready to prepare the matriarch's, and Danger's, morning meal. Finally! Someone who was awake! The human grinned to herself and walked up behind the short asari matron, peering over her shoulder.

"Mmm, that smells good."

The ornery chef shouldered Danger out of the way roughly, but the slight smile at the corner of her mouth belied her gruff demeanor.

"Get out of here, mischief maker. I don't have time for the likes of you." The cook playfully swatted in Danger's general direction with a hand towel and the human jumped back a little.

"Hey, I was giving you a compliment!"

"Get on now, with your honeyed words, rascal. I'll not have any of it this morning."

"Oh come on," Danger said, hoisting herself onto a nearby table. "You don't mean that."

"Hrpmh," was the only reply.

Danger looked around absently for a bit, and then asked, "So what is it anyway?"

"You'll find out at the morning meal, same as the Mistress."

"Pft."

The older asari looked over her shoulder at Danger, and asked, "What are you doing up? The Mistress will not be awake for another hour."

"Yea, I couldn't sleep. So I'm wandering. I thought I might come in here and steal a sweet roll or two, but Larissa hasn't been baking."

"No, the child is spending her school vacation with her mother over in Armali. They are visiting the T'Soni Museum. Don't worry, they should return soon. You'll have your sweet rolls again."

Danger grinned. "Good. I really miss those. How come you never make them?"

"Hrpmh."

Silence descended once more and Danger scanned the room for something to eat. Without the house girl though, the pickings were really slim.

"I hope your date with the Mistress goes well."

Danger's head snapped around in shock. She knew about that? How could she possibly have known about that? "What did you say?"

The cook turned around, wiping her hands on the dish towel and leaning against the counter. "I _said_ that I hope your date with the Mistress goes well. We're all linked into the schedule you know. Or did you think I prepared meals every day whether you two were here or not?"

"I… um… yea" Danger's brain stopped working momentarily.

The older asari waved it off. "Don't worry about it, Danger. This is a good thing and we've all been praying for it since you got back. You have no idea what this place was like that week you were gone. The Mistress barely ate a thing, but forced me to cook full meals anyway. Larissa litrally wouldn't come out of the cupboards. I'm surprised the Mistress didn't make us serve meals at the table as well, but I suppose she hadn't quite gone off the deep end. Yet. Believe me, it was coming. Everyone in the household is rooting for you, rascal. No one wants to go through another week like _that_ one."

"Ok… well... do you have any advice?"

"Advice? No, you don't need advice. I've heard about your reputation from Alleria. You just do what you do, and I'm sure everything will be just… fine." The old chef offered a mischievous grin.

Danger groaned. The last thing she needed was Alleria spreading rumors.

"You have to know none of that is true. Not by a long shot. Come on."

"Indeed? Well, in that case, can I ask you something that puzzled me?"

"Ya. What?"

"Why driving?"

"Um… Well… I don't know? It just seemed like a good idea at the time, right? It's something I'm good at, and can like… teach her… yea?"

"Hmm. Well, then what's your plan?"

_Plan? What is she talking about with a plan? I was just going to go get a car, come back here, and teach her to drive it. Plan?_

"I don't understand."

"No you don't, do you, my dear sweet innocent little rascal… tsk tsk." She studied Danger's face, recognizing the quizzical look and correctly interpreting it as… inexperience. "I just didn't know why you would choose something that makes it so hard to get _close_, you know?"

_Oh…_

_OH…?_

_**OH! **_

_Shit, yea, now I see what she means. Wow, I mean, I don't want to get close anyway, right? I mean she doesn't, right? Not with me... Maybe? Ok so she agreed to this, more or less, but not because she's hoping to like… I mean, we have so much opportunity on the bench at night, and she never even looks up from her datapad… Fuck. Fuck, fuck, FUCK… __**FUCK**__! I __**really**__ didn't think this through. What if she __**does**__ want to? And maybe I'm being an idiot with this whole… lesson… thing… NO!_

Danger buried her face in her hands and shook her head. "I'm just no good at this, Jes. I'm gonna mess this up so bad."

The older asari pushed off from the counter and walked over to her human friend. She lifted herself up to sit next to Danger, put an arm around the miserable mercenary and squeezed her. "Nah, you aren't. It's going to be just fine. Here's what you do. Make sure that you pick the most complex vehicle you have. Something with a lot of buttons and stuff, buttons that you'll have to help her find all the time. Maybe something with a lot of room so you can slide right next to her and show her the controls. **DON'T** take one of those stupid ones with the pedals and those ridiculous sticks in the middle. Keep the way clear. Ok?"

Danger still hadn't taken her face out of her hands. She shook her head and waited.

"Take her out to the mountains. Don't even try to make it back here for the evening meal. I'll have something made up for you two; just pick it up on your way out. Go watch the sunset and enjoy the night off. Things'll fall into place. You'll see."

Danger lifted her head and stared at the ceiling. "Yea, sure, whatever you say Jes."

_I'm gonna fuck this up so bad. I wonder if it's too late to cancel it and like, feign some terrible human illness or something. I should call Jane. I'm sure that she has come across some incurable disease she can like, have her doctor fit me with the symptoms for. Dr. Chakwas is the best after all, right? RIGHT!?_

"Danger, look at me." The old matron took the human's chin and turned the human's face toward her. "You're going to be just fine. It's no secret that the two of you have been dancing around this since you arrived here on Thessia. Don't start to doubt yourself now, rascal. I've known Terriana a lot of years, almost six hundred at this point, and I know her. You're _not_ making a mistake. Just do as I said and you'll be fine. Now, get the hell out of my kitchens. You have a date to get ready for!" She pushed Danger off the counter and toward the door and threw a handful of some kind of powder Danger didn't recognize for good measure.

"Fine, fine, I'm leaving. I'm gonna have to see if Ned can pick up something from Earth or the Citadel for me."

The cook raised an eyebrow at her. "Hmm?"

"All my cars here have that 'ridiculous stick' in the middle." Danger grinned, and dodged another handful of the strange brown substance as she ducked back into the hallway and took off for her offices at a full run.

* * *

><p><strong>Thessia, Outside the Matriarch's compound, Danger's sport rover<strong>

_She's not going to actually show. She'll have an emergency meeting or something, and that'll be that. You'll be off the hook, and you'll NEVER do something like this again. What a stupid idea this was. Just… stupid._

Danger was sitting on the hood of one of her favorite sport rovers. It wasn't a large vehicle like the ones she took on extractions, but rather, a car designed for luxury and speed. And, it didn't have that "ridiculous stick" in the middle the old chef Jes had warned her against. Danger swung her legs against the front tire, absently staring at the darkening Thessian skyline, beating herself up for even having this foolish notion of teaching Terriana how to drive.

_You're such an idiot. You should have just stayed in your offices and watched that race. You should have just made up some stupid small talk with Rolus instead of spilling your guts. You should have…_

**"DANGER!"**

_Shit!_

"Matriarch! Hi! I mean… I mean Terriana, hey." Danger slid off the car and nervously wiped her hands down the front of her cargo style pants. It was really the best she could do. She at least managed to find a pair that didn't look like she'd done _too_ much mechanical work in them, and she managed to find a clean black shirt. Her hair was even cooperating. Mostly. "I um, didn't see you walk up."

"Indeed." Terriana crossed her arms and waited.

_She's not gonna make this easy on me. _

"Well, um… yea... Are you ready?"

Terriana gave the briefest of nods, and Danger opened the driver's side door. "All right, here's your first official lesson. There's the driver's seat. Hop in!"

The asari matriarch did as instructed, and Danger rested her hand on the roof and leaned inside. "Ok, there's your accelerator, and there's your thruster if you need it. DIDI, can you pop over here for a bit? I need to program you for the matriarch's commands."

"Accessing: Voice verification complete. Good evening Operative Danger. I have a message for you from Commander Jane Shepard."

Danger was mildly surprised. "Oh? Well, that's interesting. What is the message?"

"The message is, 'it's about time. Send pics! Vids, if you can. I could use some tips. Because you know… Reasons.'"

_Shit, she picks TODAY to get a sense of humor? Are you fucking kidding me?_

"DIDI, were you in the Mako today?"

"Well you haven't been driving lately, so yes I have been spending time there with Chief Mechanic Garrus and Chief Hacker Tali."

"How did Jane find out… grr. I should have never loosened your shackles."

DIDI just looked at her innocently. Danger massaged her temple, wishing she hadn't called the unpredictable AI to help, and wishing even more she had never programmed the nuisance with an evolving personality. "Fine. Just… go away until we need you again. And log Terriana's voice records to your Administrator subroutine. She's to have the same access as me, unless I've locked her out for security reasons - Subroutine verification Darla priority one Terriana."

"As you wish, Operative Danger."

Throughout the exchange Terriana hadn't said a word. Her face was thoughtful, and Danger wondered what was going through her mind…

_Fucking embarrassing, that's what. I should have called the stupid AI BEFORE putting her in the car. I knew that there was no way I was going to make it through this night without royally fucking it up. _

"Well," she laughed nervously. "Sorry about that. That's just a little… running joke between me and Jane."

"Danger," the matriarch started softly, not sure if she really wanted to start the night with such a question but somehow _needing_ the answer. "Are you… romantically interested in Shepard?"

_Did she just ask that? For real? Didn't we like, go over that once before? She must be insane. All this time, and she doesn't know that I want her? Really? Really?!_

Danger shifted her position so she was still leaning in the rover, but facing the elder asari. "No Terra, I'm not. Don't you know that by now? I'm not at _all _interested in _Jane…_" She inflected the sentence just so, remembering the matriarch's declaration so long ago regarding the commando Yhamira. She also hoped beyond hope that giving her a nickname would set the asari's mind at ease. It was something Danger had been thinking about for a while, but was always so afraid to use.

The matriarch opened her mouth to forcefully correct Danger, but then hesitated and bit her lip. No… that was certainly different, but it sounded… less formal. More personal. Something almost whispered, in the dark, late at night, by her lover. By Danger. Danger, who _didn't _see her as an old political windbag with one foot in the grave. Danger, who _wasn't _interested in the young and beautiful human commander. Danger, who saw _her_ as a companion, a friend, and a lifelong romantic partner. Danger, who wanted to touch _her_, to expose _her_, to shield _her_, and whisper that name in reverence… cry it out in passion… promise it aloud in love.

She decided that yes, she liked it. That was acceptable… but only from Danger. It wouldn't do to have the rest of the world start calling her… Terra.

She swallowed her response and inwardly grinned at the nervous look on the mercenary's face. Danger was clearly expecting a 'Terriana Storm' as the household workers liked to call it when they thought she wasn't listening. She gestured to the array of controls and said, "Shall we continue?"

Danger just grinned, slapped the top of the car and slammed the driver's side door shut. She nearly vaulted over the vehicle to the other side and got in beside the matriarch.

_Hell yea! I totally got away with that! _

"All right then, hit that button to start her up and use that lever to move her forward. Be careful, this car is super responsi.." Danger's last word was cut off as the matriarch manipulated the controls as instructed and the car took off speeding down the old road towards Danger's favorite hiding spot on the mountain. "Whoa! Slow it down there!" She slid over and reached for the controls, skillfully bringing the vehicle to a more manageable speed. She was also painfully aware of her proximity to the matriarch.

_Yea well, this is what you get for listening to Jes. If you were driving one of the ones with the 'ridiculous stick' in the middle... Gah, why does she have to smell so fucking good?_

Terriana glanced to her side, trying her best not to stiffen and potentially send the wrong signal. It wouldn't do to be too forward, but she didn't want to discourage Danger, either. It didn't matter in the end, though, because almost as soon as the car was back under control, Danger slid as far to the other side as she could.

"All right, now just keep it at around that speed and use those controls," Danger indicated the pad on the console to her left, "to manage the steering." It was here that Terriana saw her opportunity.

"These controls?" Terriana lightly touched the console in completely the wrong place and the car jerked dangerously to the left. She braced herself, but it had the desired effect. Danger had slid back over and was trying to get the car under control once more. Since the steering was so far to the left, Danger had to lean over the matriarch to reach the necessary part of the panel. Terriana grabbed the back of Danger's shirt with her free hand and the mercenary crushed against her as the car righted itself and continued down the road.

Danger started to pull away immediately, but this time the matriarch had a grip. "Maybe you should stay here," she suggested. "Remember, this is my first time driving." It wasn't entirely a lie… She'd never driven a sport rover before… And well… it felt good to be closer to her sworn protector, after all. There was nothing wrong with that.

"Sure. Right. Of course."

_Oh, my GOD. This can't be happening. I better try to explain this better. I thought she knew how to drive…_

"Ok, these controls are pretty touchy, so you have to be careful. Here, give me your hand." Danger reached across for the matriarch's left hand and placed it gently on the console, trying to ignore what the simple touch ignited in her core. "Now just keep steady along here, and you'll get used to it in no time." She grinned and looked at the matriarch, but Terriana's eyes were closed.

"Matriarch! Keep your eyes on the road!"

Terriana opened her eyes and jerked forward, knocking her head into Danger's, effectively pushing the mercenary into the console panel and causing the vehicle to speed dangerously.

_This is a fucking disaster. Why didn't I go to Jes __**before**__ deciding to do this? _

"Shit, DIDI! Get your ass in here!"

"Accessing: Voice verification complete. I see you are having some trouble, Operative Danger. Would you like me to take control?"

"Yes, dammit, yes!" Danger pushed herself off the dashboard and slumped back next to Terriana as the AI took the helm and easily brought the vehicle back to a reasonable speed and put them back on course. "Just take us to that place where I had that wreck."

"Understood."

Danger looked at the ceiling and wanted so badly to just start laughing maniacally. She almost wished she _did_ have a vid cam set up in here. Jane would have loved to have seen that – Darla nearly getting the matriarch killed on their first date.

_Fuck. _

"Matriarch, I'm sorry. This isn't quite how I envisioned this was going to go."

"Danger," Terriana started quietly as she timidly slipped her hand under the human's larger one, which was resting in a loop on the leg of her cargo style pants. "I thought we already went over you calling me 'Matriarch'…"

Danger closed her eyes. _This can't be happening. She's just… It's a mistake, right? Accident, for sure. She just doesn't know my hand's there. Oh god, this isn't happening… _All thought was driven from her mind, though, when Terriana slipped her fingers through Danger's and squeezed tightly. Shock waves rolled through the human and she swore that she was seeing stars. The electricity was blinding. Danger was losing control…

_I can't look at her. I can't look at her right now. Damn it damn it DAMN IT! _

"Danger?" Terriana hesitated. Maybe it was too soon. Or maybe… her face darkened… maybe she really _had_ misread all this time. Danger was no more interested in her than she was in Rolus. The matriarch was a paycheck, and nothing more. She loosened her grip and pulled her hand away.

_Oh no, why? _

Danger twisted in her seat and turned to face the asari. "Terra, what is it?"

Terriana was looking out the side window, trying not to let her emotions show. This whole thing had been foolish. A foolish game to play, and the matriarch, the bitter old crone, had lost. She had lost it all, but she would never let it show.

"Terriana, please look at me." Danger reached out and brushed her hand across the matriarch's cheek. "Don't do this."

"I… can't look at you Danger." She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her torso, as if she could protect herself from the pain that was sure to come when Danger finally rejected her once and for all.

"I'm not going to let you shut down on me this time, Terra." Danger braced herself for whatever the retaliation would be, but this time she wasn't going to just go away quietly. She did that once, and the results were disastrous for them both. She'd been given a second chance, and she wasn't going to waste it.

Danger shifted her weight so she could lean on the back of the rover's seats and reached across to gently grip the matriarch's chin. She turned the elder asari's face so that the diplomat was forced to look into her eyes. She felt the beginnings of a biotic field, and though it felt much different, more ominous, more potent than normal biotics… and eerily like a biotic field she had felt only once before, she didn't care. Let it scorch her. Let the matriarch call forth her full power and rip Danger's flesh from her bones. It was better than burning alive in desire, never knowing if the fire could have been extinguished had she just been brave for one time in her entire life.

"I can't let you do this to us again, Terra. Not again." The matriarch's eyes were wild and wide as Danger moved her hand from the perfectly formed chin to grip the back of the asari's neck. Her eyes told it all. Danger let all her emotion, all the frustration and all her desire flow forth in that one look even as the black biotic field enveloped her, just before she pulled the matriarch toward her to seal both their fates with..

…

***thump***

…

**"**OUCH! Fuck you, DIDI. Just fuck you."

"I apologize for the abrupt halt, Operative Danger. We have arrived."

"So I noticed." Danger rubbed the back of her neck, which she was sure was whiplashed after DIDI's unexpected stop. "Was that REALLY necessary? I know I programmed you better than that."

"I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about, Operative Danger," DIDI replied in her monochromatically innocent voice.

"Right." Danger looked around. The black biotic field was dissipating, and Terriana was looking at her with an expression Danger couldn't quite read. She decided not to think on it too much. The moment was over, it had once again passed her by, and she might as well just… Fucking kill herself.

"Well, we're here."

Terriana looked outside, unsure what Danger was talking about. "Where?"

"Here. Jes packed us some dinner. I thought we could spend some time up here, and you know, look at like, the stars and stuff." Danger grumbled a little under her breath as she kicked the door to the rover open and walked around to the other side to let Terriana out.

The matriarch slowly stood up and took a split second to decide how to handle what had almost happened between them. Her disappointment was consuming her, and she wanted to make sure that Danger knew that. She _needed_ to make sure that her bodyguard knew her effort wasn't going to go unnoticed… or… unwanted. She reached up and put a hand on the human's shoulder as she stepped out, leaning into her slightly before whispering in her ear, "I really wanted that too, Danger. Don't give up on us, and I promise that I won't either."

The human's breath caught in her throat and she didn't dare move. It was too surreal… And just as quickly as it was there… it was gone again. Terriana had left and was walking around, exploring the local area, completely oblivious to the human who had nearly melted into the ground. It was as if it had only happened in Darla's imagination.

Maybe it did.

"Well, let's see what the wonderful head chef sent." Danger closed the driver's side door and lifted Jes' box onto the hood of the rover. She started to unpack the care package and grinned at the contents. Jes certainly had set her up for a good night. Dinner was light, and there was a variety of Terriana's favorite Thessian wines. Danger picked one and wasted no time in cracking it open. "Hey Terra, it's your favorite!" she held up the bottle for the asari's inspection, and got a tight nod in return.

Danger poured the glasses and walked over to the matriarch. Handing her one, she nodded and smiled. "I'm not giving up, Terra. Not by a long shot. You don't ever have to worry about that."

Terriana took a step closer, oblivious to the glass Danger had given her but holding it out of sheer muscle memory. At that unexpected declaration, nothing existed but her human bodyguard, whom she hoped would soon transform into her lover. Nothing else existed for her, and at that moment, she felt that nothing else ever would. Her left hand, the hand that held that ridiculous glass, fell to the side, spilling the contents and dropping whatever it was that Danger had given her. She ignored the human's sharp intake of breath as her other hand made its way to her neck. The time for confusion was long over. They were alone here. Danger's arms were stealing around her waist. Her body was being pulled almost forcefully against her human soul mate… Here, it was just her and Danger. Just Terra, and … Darla. Just them. Just the twilight. Just the promise of the coming dawn, comfortable and content in her lover's embrace. Just a lifetime of secrets, finally shared with another, entrusted with another... surrendered to another. Just...

"Operative Danger?"

"Wow… DIDI, are you kidding me? No really, are you fucking KIDDING me?"

Danger pulled away, nearly activating her mild biotics in her anger. Not once but TWICE her AI had titblocked her from moving forward with Terriana. She shook her head, and the asari matriarch turned away, looking into the night.

"Operative Danger, I think you will want to see this."

"Fine." Danger threw herself in the driver's seat and crossed her arms. "Whatever. It better be fucking life and death. Do you hear me? Life. And. Fucking. Death. What is it, DIDI?"

"Here. Look."

Danger leaned forward as DIDI showed her the surveillance footage. "Shit…" she stared in a low voice. "Is this the same one we've been seeing shadowing the compound?"

"Affirmative, Operative Danger. I recommend 'Darla priority one Terriana' immediately."

"Agreed. Make it so. Damn it. What does she want with the matriarch? I thought Justicars only came back to the planet to get laid and shit."

"Unknown, Danger. I can access no records that relate to what she could want with the matriarch."

"Ok DIDI, I'm going out there, if for no other reason than to distract her. I'm trusting you to keep Terriana safe. If I'm not back in thirty, you are to take her to Jane. Do you understand me? If I don't come back in EXACTLY thirty minutes, take her DIRECTLY to Jane Shepard, or get destroyed trying. Jump to whatever vehicles and relays you have to, but get a message to Jane. _Get the matriarch to Jane."_

"I understand, Operative Danger. There is no need to repeat yourself."

Darla nodded and made to get out of the vehicle when a strange electric shock stopped her.

"Operative Danger?"

"Yea DIDI?"

"Thank you for my life and my freedom."

"Don't mention it, DIDI. Like… especially to the Alliance."

"I understand, Operative Danger."

The human mercenary fought her own heartbreak as she knew her time was at a close. Someone was after the matriarch, and it was finally someone who was good enough to slip past her constant vigilance. It was someone she knew there was no hope of beating. Finally, it was someone who DIDI needed to point out, someone who slipped in and out of shadows as if she was somehow stitched together from their very essence.

_It was bound to happen. Just sucks it had to happen on our first date._

"Matriarch, I need you over here now."

Terriana hesitated a moment, and then acquiesced. Danger quickly overshadowed the slightly shorter asari frame and hustled her into the car. "I can't explain now, Terra. I need you to stay here and stay low. Can you do that?"

Was Danger kidding? Was this her way of getting out of the intimacy that was surely to end the night? She nodded absently, and looked at Danger in complete confusion.

_She's so beautiful. How can I explain to her?_

Danger brushed her hand across the magnificent woman's cheek and then leaned forward, replacing her scandalous fingers with her even more scandalous lips. "I'm coming back for you, Terra. I'll never let anyone hurt you. Not ever. You are my whole world. Remember that."

Danger stepped back and slammed the door shut.

"DIDI, Lock it down. You know what to do."

And with that, Darla "Danger" Vance turned from everything she had ever loved, and disappeared into the night.


	56. Chapter 55: Virmire Part III

**Chapter 55: Virmire Part III**

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Heavens, Halls of Obsidian<strong>_

_"How long to you plan to keep her in that wheel?"_

_"Oh, a few years at least. Long enough for her to grow up a little bit. She could stand to lose some weight as well. Your Champion leaving her behind on missions isn't helping her figure, you know."_

_Palladium leaned over the wall and looked down at a miserable Liara T'Soni, running in an asari-sized hamster wheel._

_"Athame, that has got to be the least effective trial ever. And you can't keep her there for years… Don't you think my Champion will notice if she just doesn't wake up? She's nearly cleared the way for her ship to land and she is going to need your child when Trelyn's lizards bring her up to speed on what is going on. We can't afford this kind of distraction."_

_"Don't worry, I stopped time down there," she replied absently, changing the wheel into an escalator. "And don't think I haven't noticed Trelyn's abstention from this process. You and I will have to deal with her sooner or later."_

_He nodded, but the lizard-god's lack of interest in thwarting the machine-gods was the least of his worries right now._

_"You stopped… Athame, you can't just… stop time. And that," he gestured to the asari who had fallen and was scrambling to try to get back up on the moving staircase, "isn't much better."_

_"Oh, very well." She waved her hand again and the escalator was a treadmill. "Why can't I stop time? Time was one of the elements granted to me to safeguard, you know."_

_"Well for one, the others are bound to notice and start asking questions we aren't ready to answer. Two, time may stop for our children but the machine-gods don't bow to us. They are still moving. Three, it's just… ridiculous!" Palladium was exasperated with her. She knew what was at stake, and her growing insanity that had started the moment the machine-gods made their reappearance would accelerate them all to destruction. He needed to get her refocused._

_"Fine." Athame waved her topmost right hand and time resumed once again for mortals. She turned around and leaned against the wall for support, crossing all six of her arms. "Well, I'm open to suggestions, Palladium. She has to grow up and she has to do it soon. Preferably before your champion dips her toes into Sha'ira's waters again."_

_He shrugged. He had managed to shroud them from mortal prying eyes, but he wasn't surprised that Athame knew about it. "And you think that this," he gestured to the miserable asari trying desperately to keep up with the speed the insane goddess had set, "is the way to make it happen?"_

_"Maybe. Maybe not. I did say she gained some weight as well, you know."_

_He sighed and hung his head. His oldest and dearest friend was so unlike him. His trials were designed to forge his half of the souls into demi-gods that would rule over his future creations, creations he'd hoped to make with her and her asari as they worked through their pair bonds. Athame didn't have any 'trials'. She was much more relaxed than he when it came to her souls. She flitted about the planet she had chosen for her children, spreading her seed here and there and treating the entire process like a party. She gifted them with long life and beauty, and encouraged them to explore pleasure with one another. As a result, they often didn't mature until well into their midlife, which unfortunately for him was hundreds of years, and that was proving to be a serious problem for the youngest of her last living progeny. And for his Champion, who desperately needed a rock to put her back against._

_"Athame," he started softly. "Putting her on exercise equipment isn't going to accelerate her maturity. It's just not going to work."_

_"Fine." She gestured sharply and the treadmill disappeared, leaving a very confused Liara T'Soni tripping over her feet on the ground. "Happy?"_

_"Yes."_

_"So what do you suggest? You keep reminding me that we are out of time but you offer no solutions to the problem."_

_"This whole thing is because she won't get her inner power until she's mated, right?"_

_"Yes. I wanted them to have normal lives at least until they were old enough to decide whether or not to pursue the gifts I gave them. After they've bonded, my gifts activate their full potential." Athame smiled to herself, thinking of her Ardat-Yakshi. There were so few of them left, having been hunted to near extinction by the others. The ones that did exist either were in captivity or hiding, unable to use their gifts. This time she had made adjustments to the formula, and what resided in Liara T'Soni would work better. The Ardats would die out and be replaced by a new breed of walking blessings… if she could just manage to keep the bloodline going…_

_"Then why don't you just visit her one night? You know, take the matter into your own hands?"_

_"Oh, don't be disgusting Palladium. She is not far enough removed. Besides, that might have… unpredictable… results. It wouldn't be a true bonding. She must be completely bonded, not just a meaningless roll in the dark with her goddess. Although," Athame contemplated, "She does look a little like her mother. I had considered visiting Benezia until Liari showed an interest in her…" Athame looked at the darkness surrounding them and shook her head. "No, it would not work, Palladium. That could be catastrophic to our cause."_

_"Yes, I suppose you're right. Then give her some sort of grand revelation. A vision. Something. Anything. Or even just talk to her."_

_"You go talk to her. She's right there."_

_He stared blankly at his long-time friend and crossed his arms. "Don't be ridiculous. It would just confuse her more if that's even possible after **that**." He gestured to the scene before them, which had turned into a six walled room. Mirrors adorned each of the walls and the floor was rubberized, ideal for exercise._

_"You know that revealing ourselves like this is delicate as it is. Do you know she isn't even aware of her lineage?"_

_"Indeed?"_

_"Indeed," she replied dryly. "I should have seen it coming but Benezia was so... so **strong.** She was **perfect** for Liari. It seemed like such a perfect match. How could I have known she'd murder the child's father and then keep all knowledge from her? You know that normally I encourage a little bit of violence now and again to get the blood pumping but that was extreme."_

_"So then just tell her."_

_"Do you think I haven't considered it? But let me ask you this, if I revealed to her this knowledge, would she believe it? If she did, would she make the choices we want her to? I dare not explain to her. What if she believes herself to be like the Ardat-Yakshi and checks herself into one of those **monasteries?"** Athame nearly spit out the word and Palladium took a step back. The ardat-yakshi had been her most beloved of daughters, and they were persecuted wherever they went because the gifts they had were just too… strong. She didn't often talk about the subject, as over time more and more of that bloodline had died out and she occupied herself with her newest brood, but the edge in her voice was still there when she did. Athame closed her eyes and waved her uppermost hands, dismissing the idea. "No. I won't tell her and risk her deciding never to activate her gifts."_

_"Fine. So in the end, you will do nothing."_

_Athame turned again and leaned over the wall next to him. "I guess I don't have much of a choice."_

_"What about her?" He gestured to the asari, who was sitting on the ground looking terrified and confused._

_"What about her? I rather like how quiet she is being. It wouldn't kill her to pick up some of those weights, either…"_

_"I **mean,** my Champion has reached Trelyn's children. She needs your daughter."_

_"Oh, very well." Athame reached down and flicked the asari. A very frightened Liara T'Soni flew off into the horizon. "There. She will wake up in a few minutes."_

_He nodded and wrapped an arm around her. "It's going to be fine, Athame. We'll figure this out, somehow."_

_"I hope you're right." Just then, movement far below on the asari homeworld caught her attention._

Oh for the love of… What is my meddling High Seat doing **now**?

_"Palladium, I must retire. I will see you tomorrow." She lifted herself into the sky and disappeared, leaving the platinum god standing alone, and curious, in her courtyard._

* * *

><p><strong>Normandy, Med Bay Storage Areas<strong>

Doctor Liara T'Soni opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. She was back on the Normandy. She was on the small cot that was laid out for her so she wouldn't have to use the common room sleeper pods. She was back _home_ again.

_It was just a dream. It was just a bad dream… or maybe… it was not. I wonder if… _

She scrunched her face up and came to a revelation.

_I had no right to judge Jane. _

Liara sat up and groaned. Her skin felt like it had been hammered flat and her joints felt like they were stitched together with barbed wire. She activated her biotics to help her stand, and she stretched her hands to the ceiling.

_I never imagined that she was so beautiful… and so terrible. The stories… they really do not **explain** fully._

The asari sat back down on the cot and looked around the room. She felt like all her senses were heightened. She could hear everything; see every imperfection in the smooth steel that adorned the walls. She was more _aware_ of everything, especially her own mind and… body.

_I wonder if this happens to everyone she visits? It is funny; I did not believe my mother when she told me stories of Athame, but now… Now I am not so sure. What was it the goddess had said? 'You are a direct descendant of my line'. What did she mean by that? Are we not __**all**__ children of Athame? We are all asari, anyway. And why did she put me on those…_

Liara shuddered at the memory. It hadn't been frightening, precisely, but it was certainly confusing.

_It is too bad she did not visit me for the purposes told in most of the stories. _Liara couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. _Maybe if she had, I would know better what to do with Jane._

Liara closed her eyes and thought about the image of the dark goddess again. She had seemed to fill the room with night, but the darkness was light in its own strange way. She was tall and as shadowy as the midnight sky, beautiful and terrible as the twilight, icy and arctic as the winter dawn. Liara felt that she would surrender herself in an instant and offer up her body and very soul if the goddess had asked it of her.

_But the goddess did not ask it of me… I do not see what she could have possibly meant by that statement, 'you are a direct descendant of my line'. Unless…_

Her eyes shot open and she leaned forward, looking for something but not quite seeing what it was.

_What if… What if the reason Benezia never told me about my father is… No. _

She shook her head violently.

_No._

More forcefully.

_It is just not possible. _

She clamped down her jaw and gripped the edge of the cot until her light blue knuckles were almost white. A biotic field activated, and the room darkened with her anger. She lost all sense of time as she reviewed every memory of her mother, the former spiritual leader Benezia T'Soni. She went over every single one in earnest, looking for any sign, any clue, anything at all that would support this new theory about her lineage. As a child she had all sorts of fantasies about who her father might be, but never had she considered it might be the dark goddess herself. It seemed like an age passed during her distraction, but she did not care. This was important almost beyond comprehension, and there was something just on the edge of her understanding that would finally fill in that missing link and clear the way for her to break the standoff with Jane.

Just as she felt she was getting close, the familiar chirp of the Normandy's comm system sounded and the pilot's jovial voice came booming over the speaker.

"Hey Liara?"

The biotic field dissipated and Liara calmed. She needed more time to examine the dream and her memories. _Time is your gift, but it is also your curse, both bestowed upon your race ages ago. _The words came to her once again, and she remembered sitting in this very room, struggling with herself after a very painful separation from the commander. She closed her eyes and mastered herself.

_I have to talk about this with Jane. Perhaps it is time we both were completely honest with one another. When this mission is done, I will meld to her and show her my vision, and will demand to see hers. She __**must**__ show me hers! I need her to help me figure all of this out. I need her. _

She whispered, "I need her…"

"Pardon?"

She had forgotten about Joker. She shook her head a little to clear it.

"Yes, I am sorry. Do you need something, Joker?"

"We've touched down. The commander wants everyone on the ground asap."

"Thank you. Tell her I am on my way."

"You got it, Liara."

She wasted no time in grabbing her small weapons and rushing out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>-Salarian Base Camp, Debriefing<strong>

Commander Jane Shepard's face was grim as the salarian captain brought her up to speed on the situation. They'd somehow managed to not only find Saren's base of operations, but also alert the rogue spectre that he was being raided and every aa tower within ten miles knew they were there. Saren had also found a 'cure' for the genophage, and he planned on using a krogan army to wipe out the rest of the races. Things were going from bad to worse, and fast.

She nodded throughout his update, keeping her face expressionless, and then turned to her unofficial second in command.

"What do you think, Ash?"

"Wow… I _think_ that we're all in trouble. I _think_ that the council is hiding something. And I also think that Wrex is about to blow his top." She thumbed over her shoulder at the smoldering krogan standing by himself near the water.

"You think I should talk to him?"

"Probably. This can't be easy for him."

"Right. I'll go take care of that. You and Kaiden find out what you can about this compound. Schematics, diagrams, I'll even accept crayon drawings. Anything that gives us the layout. Have Liara pull anything and everything she can from the Alliance records."

"Yes, commander. Are you going to talk to her?"

"Um, I'll just go get started," Kaidan said, saluting and heading toward Tali.

Both women watched him go before turning back to one another. "Yea, I'll let her know about the roster change. I won't jeopardize the mission any further."

"That's good, but it's not really what I was getting at you know."

Jane nodded. "I know, Ash. I'm going to talk to her. Don't worry. You were right back there at the checkpoint. Not taking her along has been just as distracting, but in a seriously negative way. I'll talk to her.

"Good."

"Go find whatever you can. And you should probably take your own advice, while you're at it."

"Commander?"

Jane inclined her head toward Kaidan, who was pointing to something on Tali's omni tool and gesturing at the Normandy. Jane thought she caught him say something about Liara. "I'm talking about you and him. I haven't been so completely wrapped up in myself that I didn't notice what's going on there."

Ashley sighed. "Well, that's complicated."

"Uncomplicate it."

"That's not even a word, skipper."

"I'm the commanding officer and that means I can make words up."

"Oh? Is that in the Alliance Field Manual?"

"Yea, it's right there under 'don't drink your own pee'."

Ashley laughed and Jane's face broke into a grin. "Seriously though, the two of you just seem to fit so well together. Maybe when all of this is over you guys can hit the Citadel up with me and Liara. Like a double date. It'll be fun."

Ashley crossed her arms and the laughter left her face. "Yea, when this is all over we'll all probably be reassigned."

Jane's chest constricted at the thought, but something occurred to her. "Maybe, but I'm a spectre now, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep this crew together." She glanced at Wrex, who was shooting at the water. "All of us."

Ashley nodded. "I believe you, Commander." She gestured to Wrex. "You'd better go see if you can diffuse that."

"Right. I'm going to try to talk him down, but standby just in case. We can't risk him sabotaging the mission, no matter how much we might sympathize with him. Be ready."

"I'm always ready, commander. I've got your back."

Jane clapped her unofficial second in command on the shoulder and walked off toward the angry krogan.

* * *

><p><strong>-Salarian Base Camp, preparation<strong>

"I need you to pull anything you can find on this compound, this planet, hell this whole star system." Kaidan had found Liara and was filling her in on what was going on.

"Yes, Lieutenant. I understand. Is this really Saren's base of operations?"

Kaidan crossed his arms and nodded. "It looks that way. Look, here comes Ash. She might have additional information." He moved to the side to allow the gunnery chief to take up a position at his side. "Chief."

"Lieutenant." Ashley smiled at Kaidan and then looked at Liara.

"Do you think you can get the data?"

"I can try. Is everything ok over there?" Liara pointed to the commander who seemed to be in a heated conversation with their krogan crewmate.

"That's delicate. Did Kaidan tell you what Saren's doing in there?"

Liara nodded, "yes, they have apparently found a cure for the genophage."

"Hrmph, yea well Saren's idea of a cure and ours are probably two different things." Kaidan said.

Ashley looked at him, then back at Liara. "Wrex doesn't want the place destroyed."

"I can understand where he is coming from," Liara started, holding her breath as she saw Wrex draw his weapon and train it on Jane's forehead. "Chief Williams…"

"I see it." The chief replied grimly, her hand hovering over her own weapon. "Give the commander a moment to calm him down." Slowly, so that the krogan wouldn't notice her, she drew her pistol and pointed it at the back of his head. All three of them held their breath for what seemed like an eternity, just watching Wrex and Shepard square off.

Jane was the first to lower her weapon, and the three of them visibly relaxed when Wrex lowered his as well.

"That was close," Ashley said as she attached her pistol back to her armor. "The last thing we need is to start shooting each other in the back."

"Here comes the commander," Kaidan said, stepping back to make room.

"Actually, Lieutenant, I was wondering if you could help me with something… over here." Ashley grabbed Kaidan's arm and led him away, leaving Liara alone to talk to Jane. The young asari doctor smiled as the commander walked up and stopped just in front of her.

"Your ability to calm the krogan is impressive."

"Liara." Jane crossed her arms, thinking about how to approach this. She didn't want to turn on 'commander mode', but couldn't forget that they were just outside of Saren's base of operations. "Do you think you will be able to find anything on this?" She gestured to the compound.

"Possibly. I will consult with the salarians and see what intelligence they have and match it up to whatever the Alliance has. I will do my best, but it may not be easy. They are covert operatives and the council did keep this operation from us."

"I know you will do what you can. I trust you, Liara." Jane studied the asari's face, and just couldn't bring herself to make the roster change. She couldn't knowingly put Liara in danger, and she couldn't ask any more of the young scientist than she already had. Ash was wrong. Everyone was wrong. Jane had to do this alone.

"Give whatever you can compile to Williams and then report back to the Normandy. You are not to leave the ship."

"I…" Liara began, not sure what to take away from that statement. Jane's eyes were soft, but her stance and expression belied that tenderness. She recognized 'commander mode', but also saw something deeper. She saw fear, and disappointment, and something else that didn't seem to suit the beautiful young human: denial. Liara shook her head and crossed her arms, challenging the commander.

"Why are you doing this, Jane?"

Jane considered for a moment, and then decided on a reply. "Because this is what I _do_, Liara. This is why I am here. I lead a dangerous life, and I can't change that now, as much as I might want give the universe the finger and go my own way. I have to destroy this research and I need you safe on the Normandy while I do it."

"That is not what I mean and you know it. Besides that, you do not have to protect me. I was a powerful biotic before we met you know. I didn't just activate this yesterday." She ignited the black fire that burned in her soul and darkened the area around them to illustrate her point, raising her arms and lifting Jane slightly in the air.

"Liara, I didn't mean that. I meant,"

"I know what you meant." She let the commander drift back to the ground and deactivated her biotics. "I have grown a bit too, Jane. We are all in this together, and you and I both need to get past whatever it is that is holding us back. I am coming with you, and that is final."

"Liara.."

"Final, Jane. You cannot go in there with Williams and Tali. You need a biotic and I am the best you have. You need me."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"Jane, did it ever occur to you that I do not want you hurt, either? Did it ever occur to you that it _kills me _to sit in that storage room, not knowing if you are alive or dead? Not knowing if you need me? Not knowing if you are lying in a pool of blood, calling for me and I cannot get to you? We are stronger together than apart, and it took much too much sacrifice for me to see that. We have wasted too much time. I made a mistake sending you away, and I will regret it forever. I do not want to repeat that mistake."

Jane looked down at Liara, and saw the beginnings of tears in her eyes. _So much hurt, and we've only just begun. There's been so much hurt already. How can we overcome it?_

Jane just stood there and turned it over in her mind. No matter what angle she looked at it from, the asari was right. They were definitely stronger together than apart, and Jane was actually kind of grateful the young doctor forced the confrontation. It meant she cared, and that there was still a chance to fix all of it. They might just get out of this alive after all, and Jane let herself smile just a little at the thought of her retirement from the Alliance, when she and Liara would hole up on some uncharted planet and happily spend their days and nights far from Conduits and Genophages and… just all of _this._

She nodded once, and Liara visibly relaxed. "You're right, of course. I don't know what I was thinking. You know, when you first came on board, I wanted you with me all the time. I put you on every away mission because of exactly what you just said. I knew that we were stronger together than apart, and the best way to keep you safe was to keep you with me. Then, things started to change and I got really confused. You were sending me a lot of mixed signals, Liara, and I didn't know how to handle it. There's a lot going on, and all I ever wanted from you was understanding and support. I started leaving you behind because it hurt too much to have you with me."

"I know that, Jane." Liara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I have not been there for you and you deserve…"

"Don't," Jane interrupted. "We're not having _that_ conversation again. In fact, this isn't really the place to be having a conversation about this at all. We don't have time right now. Can we take a raincheck on this one?"

Liara nodded and took a step back. "Of course, Commander."

"Oh no you don't," Jane said as she reached for Liara and pulled the asari close to her. She buried her face in the woman's neck as she felt arms wrap around her torso. "When it's just us, I'm just Jane to you. I'm going to have to talk to the salarian captain in a minute. Just let it be us for that minute."

Liara smiled and closed her eyes. The moment would be over in a heartbeat and they would be back on their way into the unknown, but right here, right now, she could feel how much Jane needed her… and it felt good.

* * *

><p>AN - the next updates may be some time. I need to take my CCNA on Tuesday and finish the second half of the Virmire mission, but I hope to get all of our heroes into big, big adventures and maybe into a little more intimacy in the next few chapters. We're nearing the end of part I of this work, and I wanted to thank all of you who are taking this journey with me.


	57. Chapter 56: Virmire Part IV

A\N

I've been sitting on these two for a while, not really wanting to post them until I had the conclusion to this part of the story completed. I am stuck on one chapter. The last chapter. Yea. _that_ chapter. It's been written, rewritten, canned, written again, canned again… and it's just taking longer than I really thought it would. I'm trying to capture an epic intimacy here for Jane and Liara, so just give me some time. In the meantime, I'll post these two chapters. There is no real reason not to. I hope you enjoy them. We're nearing the end.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 56: Virmire Part IV<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Virmire, Salarian Base Camp<strong>_

"Take Chief Williams." Her tone was firm. Neither soldier argued with her, instead remaining silent and waiting for her to speak again.

She gestured to her human officers and the three of them took up a position just behind Captain Kirrahe as he gave a pep talk to his troops. "I know you don't understand and I'm not in the business of explaining my orders, but these are unusual circumstances. Kaidan, I need you on that bomb because Ash just doesn't have your technical expertise. I need Ash out there with the salarians for much the same reason. You don't have the tactical ability she does and these guys need the help. I know they talk tough, but some of those younger ones on the far side look like they would rather be anywhere but here. They'll look up to Ash. Aces in their places, you guys. This is it." Jane thought she caught something about holding the line from the salarian captain's speech.

"I understand, Commander. I'll make sure that bomb is ready."

"I know you will, Kaidan. You're a good officer and don't think that I haven't noticed it." Jane paused, hearing _hold the line_ once more.

"Ash?" Kaidan started, almost nervously.

"What is it, LT?"

"Just… Be careful out there."

Ashley punched his arm playfully. "You too, Kaidan. Don't go and blow yourself up or anything." She grinned and was rewarded with a shy smile from him in return.

"Hey Skipper?"

"Yea Ash?"

"You think he wants to hold the line?"

Jane bit back a grin, as the salarian captain's voice was heard echoing the chief's comment a third time. "All right, Gunny, enough with the petty commentary. Get your asses in there, marines! Stay alert. Liara! Tali! You're both with me. Ladies and gentlemen, let's get these boots on the ground!"

Jane grabbed her assault rifle, double checked Tali's weapons and environment suit, nodded to Liara, and led the team away from the camp.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Virmire, En Route to Saren's Lab<strong>_

"What is the plan, Commander?" Liara asked.

"We're going in the back door, so to speak." Captain Kirrahe could be heard over the comm giving orders out to the various teams. "We're going to try to find a way into the back of the compound while the salarian teams keep them busy up front."

"I remember this from one of our war games, Jane. You did something similar with the Mako and you were able to sneak up on myself and Chief Williams."

Jane nodded. "Yes, it's something like that. Were you able to pull any data on this planet?"

"Not much. Here, look at this." Liara punched some buttons on her omni-tool and the three of them gathered around it. "This is an aerial view of the compound. This looks like a comm tower, and that could be a satellite uplink but I cannot be certain."

"That's a start. Good work, Liara. Tali, download that data and plot a course."

"Yes, Commander."

"All right, move out." Jane looked at the quarian, who fiddled a little with her omni-tool and then pointed just to her right.

"The comm tower is closest, Commander."

"Understood. Stay sharp." Jane started moving in the direction Tali indicated. "Are you getting anything on the scanner?"

Tali's clawlike hands danced over the controls on her arm. "A few blips, I can't make much sense of it, Commander."

"How many?"

"Four, maybe more."

Jane nodded as they crept up on the tower, sticking close to the rock wall. "I have a visual. Looks like Destroyers and a couple shock troopers." She took out her sniper rifle and situated herself behind some boulders. "Liara, be ready to immobilize them the second they come down the stairs. I'm going to try to take out the destroyer, or at least wound him a bit." Commander Jane Shepard looked through the scope and lined up her target, feeling exhilarated and reaching for her inner powers to help guide the bullet to where she wanted it. She gently squeezed the trigger as time seemed to slow and at the last instant tapped her rifle in an upward motion to send it sailing toward the back of the destroyer's head. She blinked her eyes and visualized where she wanted the bullet to penetrate, commanding it to bend to her will. It connected with her target, and she lined up another shot as the rest of the troops stepped over their fallen comrade to get to them.

"Liara, lift them and hold them there. You see that plasma container? Get them just above that!"

Liara nodded and activated her biotics, slightly closing her eyes and reaching her arms toward the advancing troops. They were easy to lift, almost too easy for her. She felt rather than saw Jane's next shot ignite the container and destroy the few remaining geth.

"Good. Tali, get up there and disrupt their communications. If there's anything up there to hack, do that as well."

"Yes, Commander." Tali wasted no time in scurrying up the ramp and setting to work.

"Nice shooting, Jane."

"You weren't so bad yourself, Liara. That comes so easily to you."

"I have had years of practice. Before we met, I had to protect myself while on digs, you know. I am not completely helpless." Liara leaned against the rocks and crossed her arms.

"Yes, I don't know why I… I guess I just wanted to take care of you. That's all." Jane leaned on her rifle and watched Tali as she stood at the control panel, alternating between tapping on it and tapping on her omni-tool. "You did look pretty helpless on Therum, though." Her face broke into an impish grin and Liara waved her off.

"Isolated incident."

"Sure. Maybe it was fate. You might have gotten away from me if you hadn't been stuck in that stasis field."

"Perhaps. We will never know, now." Liara smiled and Jane had a sudden urge to take the young doctor in her arms. _Damned inconvenient missions…_

"I still want to take care of you."

"We can take care of each other, Jane."

Jane reattached her sniper rifle to her armor as Tali padded back to them. "There was nothing much there, Commander. A locker with just some rounds inside."

"Good job, Tali. Let's keep moving. What's next?"

"Let's head to the satellite uplink. It's just on the other side of this mountain." The quarian pointed to the display on her omni-tool and Jane nodded.

"Looks good. Move out."

She led the way carefully, watching for patrols and scanning the skies for geth spacecraft. It wasn't unlike the geth to drop troops directly in their path at the most inconvenient times.

"Shit, what the hell is that?" Shepard steadied herself against the rock wall next to her as an explosion seemed to shake the whole planet. "That sounds big."

"Do you think Saren is destroying evidence, Commander?" Tali asked.

"Maybe." Pushing off from the wall, she detached her assault rifle and motioned forward. "If he is, we'd better get our asses in gear and get in there."

"Right." Tali looked at her omni-tool again. "Careful, Commander."

"What is it?"

"That uplink seems to be more heavily guarded."

"Of course it is." Jane bit her lower lip and gauged the distance between herself and the ramp leading up to the satellite equipment. She could make out a few geth and a krogan, but there was too much open space for her to make a run for it without being gunned down. Even her strange inner strength probably couldn't save her. Besides that, Liara was here and she didn't want to leave the asari exposed.

"Suggestions?"

"I can shield us for a short time. It might be enough to get us close."

Jane thought about it for a moment. Remembering the war games and Liara's impressive biotic display gave her an idea. "Liara, Do you remember when we went to go practice teambuilding on Earth?"

"Yes…" she replied cautiously.

"Do you remember when you hit me in the head with that spinning disc?"

Liara winced a little at the reminder, but nodded. "Yes, I remember that."

Jane grinned. "You think you could do that with say, some of this stuff?" She produced a couple of small vials from her suit.

"I… probably. What is that?"

"I know what that is!" Tali exclaimed. "You took that out of the Mako! That's the same stuff we used to blow up those armatures with Chief Williams!"

The asari eyed them both curiously, but didn't comment on that. "Something that small would be exceptionally easy to lift, Jane."

"It would be," Tali agreed. "But… it wouldn't be so easy to ignite."

"Ignite?" Now Liara was _very_ curious.

"Nevermind. Get behind cover, and Liara get one of these in there. I'll take care of igniting it." The commander reattached her assault rifle and brought out her sniper rifle once more. It was actually quite exhilarating to have the opportunity to use it so much. Their missions up until this point were pretty direct, forcing her to rely on the heavier firepower of her automatic weaponry. Jane appreciated the delicate touch that was required when she brought out precision ordnance. She climbed on a nearby rock and laid flat on her belly, putting her eye to the scope and aiming for a place just above the stairs. "Be ready, both of you," she said under her breath before nodding. Liara correctly interpreted the signal and concentrated a small biotic force to propel the vial she was given to a point just above where the majority of the patrols were standing.

Jane reached for it, reached for that strange silver light that sometimes lent her strength. She let it wash over her body as she moved the rifle slowly to follow the trajectory of the sailing vial. The patrol didn't seem to have noticed it, or if they did, they were ignoring it. Time slowed to a crawl, and there was nothing but Jane and her gun. Sounds around her warped and nothing existed but the weapon she was curled around and delicious bloodlust. Just as the vial settled at a point above their heads, Jane exhaled softly and squeezed her trigger, sending the single bullet sailing towards her target. She didn't even wait for it to connect before jumping up and pulling out her pistol.

"Jane! Wait!"

She could hear Liara sounding frightened behind her, but it didn't matter. She was getting _that rush_ again. It had been a while since she had felt it, and it felt _really_ good. Maybe it was the sexual tension and frustration that was causing her body to ignite and nearly fly to the tower. Maybe it was the atmosphere on this beautiful and terrible planet. Maybe it was just that time of the fucking month. She didn't know, and didn't care. Jane was a streak of lightning, a force of nature, and as she ran, she saw the terror in the eyes of her enemies as they gathered themselves from the floor, trying to recover. She fired her pistol at a nearby ion container, sending the handful of krogan and geth through the air once again. She broke through the explosive fire, cutting a path with her strangely manufactured silver barrier, and drew her assault rifle before launching herself from the apex of the ramp and raining bullets down upon them.

She landed with a thud, hard against the railing and looked around as her vision started to clear. It looked like all the patrols were dead or at least too incapacitated to pose any real threat. She forced herself back to her feet and tested her weak ankle.

_Good. It's holding up. _

"Tali! Liara! Clear! Get up here!"

Tali was there first. The second Shepard had started to run she had followed. Liara brought up the rear and looked around at the destruction on the small platform. "Jane?"

"Yea, Liara?" Jane replied as she leaned casually against the ramp's railing.

"Sometimes you scare me."

Jane didn't reply. "Tali, grab that medi-gel and get the uplink offline."

"Right. Um... How?"

The commander looked around at the platform. There wasn't a control panel or any obvious hacking point for the uplink hardware. "I don't know. Just shoot it."

"Yes, Commander."

Jane cocked her head to the side as she heard her unofficial second in command's voice over the comm link. _"Bunker down people! That aircraft is about to return."_

"Shit. That sounds like trouble. Liara, any ideas?"

The asari looked at the diagrams on her omni-tool and nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, Commander. This looks like a refueling station. We may be able to cut off their supply." She pointed to a small expanse of open land that had tankards circling it.

"Excellent. Let's go blow it up!" Jane grinned and picked her assault rifle back up, snapping the rest of her weapons to her armor. You ok, Tali?"

"Done, Commander. This should cause them more than a few problems."

"Good Job. Let's go."

Jane led the way once again, following Tali's gestures to keep them moving in the right direction. There wasn't much resistance, and for that Jane was grateful. It allowed her some time to let go of some of the platinum strands. She vaguely hoped that her companions hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary during her little suicide run. Judging by Liara's comments though, that was unlikely.

_Can't think about that now, Jane. Have to get into Saren's lab. _

Jane's face broke into a grin as they rounded the next corner, revealing some drones resupplying at what was obviously a refueling station.

"Oh, this looks completely important. Let's shoot it!" Tali's smile could be heard in her voice, and Jane couldn't help but agree with the young quarian.

"You've really been hanging around with us too much." She leveled her assault rifle and started firing on the drones, expecting them to be easy pickings.

"Shepard! Get back!" Jane barely registered the words as she was roughly pulled to the side by dark electricity, strangely contrasting with the silver glow her skin had taken on.

"Thanks, Liara. There's a flyer there refueling, too. Damn it. That must have been what the chief was talking about." the commander swore under her breath. "We need to bring it down."

"How?" Tali knelt down beside the commander,

"Shoot those tanks. Liara, just throw something at them!"

Jane almost laughed out loud as she saw the young quarian start to lift into the air, enveloped by a soft and radiant violet light. "No, Not Tali! Gosh, BOTH of you are getting way too much attitude." Her tone was harsh, but a smile danced in her eyes as she locked gazes with a playful Liara.

The asari put Tali back down and shrugged. "I can give you a barrier, Jane."

"Do it. A couple of those tanks blowing up will take care of the rest of those flyers. Get it on me, now!"

Jane's skin tingled a little as she felt Liara's powers augmenting her own. It was a strange feeling, almost like a tickle or a pinprick. It felt a lot like the few times the asari had pushed into her mind, except this was external. It was the same almost loving caress, the same possessiveness that threatened to entice Jane into doing things that would be highly embarrassing in a public situation. Something about the way that the dark flames mixed with the brighter, silver electricity that danced along her own skin gave her a confidence that bordered on reckless. She moved forward and felt rather than saw her companions follow slowly behind her.

Leveling her assault rifle, she wondered for a moment whether or not the barrier would reflect her bullets back into her. _Well, shit. Don't have time to think about it now._

Jane took aim and fired, spraying the area in front of them with heavy fire and igniting the tankards. One, two, three, four, they cascaded flame and debris, overheating her thermal clip and causing her to shut her eyes against the blinding flashes.

_Oh hell, this was a really bad idea. Liara's going to get hurt!_

Almost without thinking, Jane displaced the violet barrier, not trusting it over her own internal strength. She called forth her own demi-godlike gift and turned, grabbing Liara and throwing the asari in front of her. Silver and violet crashed together violently as Jane forced her against the wall and out of harm's way, her larger frame eclipsing the smaller alien one and shielding her from the blast that washed over both of them. As she did, something else ignited deep in her belly and she lost herself somewhere between the explosions all around her and the explosions in the cool blue eyes before her. "Fuck, Liara…" she whispered breathlessly, and she felt the asari push closer to her, trying to melt into the commander as surely as the gas tanks they had just blown up had melted into the cold steel of refueling platform...

"Yes… _please…" _was the airy reply, as Liara leaned up, reaching for Jane with her mind, everything around her completely forgotten. The flares and the peril just had her so… _enthralled. _Jane's skin tingling with platinum electricity just had her so…_intrigued_. The way that the human's silver presence melted into her own violet darkness so easily just had her so…_ aroused_. She couldn't explain it. All the time spent away from Jane hadn't tempered her desire, it had heightened it. And as inappropriate at it was at the current moment, she felt in an instant that she'd lie down with the commander and surrender her very soul, right here, right now, in the midst of all this chaos. Nothing existed but Jane.

"Hello? Still here, still on a mission. Normandy to Commander Shepard!" Tali ejected her own overheated thermal clip and replaced it with a new one, slightly amused at the obvious tension between her two squadmates. It took half a tick, but Jane ripped herself away from Liara, cursing under her breath.

_Why did I think this was better than leaving her behind? _

"Right. Let's… Let's keep moving. You're ok, right Tali?" _Fucking afterthought. She could be dead. "_What's next?" Jane forced her eyes toward Tali's omni-tool and waited for the quarian to give her an update.

"I'm fine. Northwest exit up the ramp is our next destination. Let's see what else we can destroy."

Jane kept stealing glances at Liara as they made their way forward, getting closer to the actual building. The asari seemed to be deep in thought, and was avoiding her gaze. What was it Liara had said?

_Something suggestive._

Right. It was something completely suggestive, and Jane couldn't help but divert some of her attention to trying to dissect it. She barely paid any attention to the geth that kept throwing themselves at her team. There were far more important things to think about, like Liara pressed against her as fire erupted around them, the shadow of flames dancing across Liara's face as she leaned forward trying to link up with Jane's mind, Liara tugging on her neck, pushing against her body, silently asking to be taken…

"Shit, Liara what was that for?"

"Commander, you were about to walk right onto a platform full of barriers!"

"I see them. But shields don't necessarily mean geth… Ow…" Jane sat up, recovering from the biotic field that had stopped her from advancing.

"Well that laser definitely does, Commander!" Tali pointed and jumped to the side as the geth sniper passed over them, trying to find a target.

_Shit. _

"Liara get a barrier up! There's krogan over there as well!"

"Maybe you should have brought Wrex. He could have reasoned with them."

Jane raised an eyebrow and Liara paused midway through summoning her barrier to look back at the quarian.

"Ok, ok it was just a thought!"

"Right." Jane crouched down and motioned for Liara to lift what she could. As soon as the geth were airborne, she signaled Tali to hack them while she took care of the krogan. It only took her a few seconds to close the gap between herself and the platform, and she hopped over barriers as she ran, taking the krogan by surprise. They never did expect a human to charge head-on. Jane used that to her advantage, and swiftly dispatched the unusually weak fighter.

"Tali, Liara, I need you over here," she shouted. The krogan had fallen surprisingly easily. She was suspicious. "What do you make of that," she asked as her companions arrived.

"Looks like normal krogan to me, Commander." Tali was the first to speak. Liara kneeled down but kept her pistol aimed at the dead creature's head.

"I do not know, Commander. He looks like a normal krogan, but something in his coloring is off."

Jane attached her assault rifle to her armor and crossed her arms. "You think it's the cured genophage?"

"Possibly. Possibly a less than successful experiment." Liara stood and attached her own weapon to her side.

"He was really weak. Easy to take down. That's just not like a krogan."

"Well, it's no surprise that Saren is throwing his trial runs at us. It's horrible to say, but he probably had no other use for them. We knew he was researching the genophage here. It would be foolish to believe all his experiments were successful." Tali shrugged. "Either way, it made our job a little bit easier."

Jane bit the side of her cheek and stood there for a moment. "Right. Well, head over to the far side of the entrance. I thought I saw some containers over there. Take anything you think we can use. Leave the rest."

"Yes, Commander."

Jane motioned for Liara to follow her. As they walked, she removed her pistol, aimed, and fired at a nearby plasma container, taking the asari by surprise.

"Why did you blow that up?"

"Just trying to keep you in the mood, Liara." Jane glanced at the asari and was rewarded with a small grin. Jane flung herself against the wall at the far side of the compound entrance and started fiddling with a weapons locker.

"Trying to keep me in the mood, huh?" A grinning Liara leaned against the wall across from Jane, watching the human's pathetic hacking attempts with some amusement.

"Yea well, I mean this is a pretty romantic setting, right?"

Liara looked around as if to gauge the truth of Jane's statement. "Well, aside from the geth, and the krogan, and the explosions, and the mad scientist lab, and the…"

"Hey, I thought you liked the explosions!"

The asari grinned and crossed her arms, nodding toward the weapons locker. "You should just have Tali hack that."

"Yea I know. I just wanted a few moments alone with you, is that so bad?"

"No, that is not so bad. And, you are right. Aside from all of this other…" She made a sweeping gesture with her hand encompassing all of the… stuff… that was happening. "This planet is very beautiful."

"Yea, the beaches here are really nice. So, hey, this is kind of like our third date then, huh?" Jane grinned and took a moment to congratulate herself on her own cleverness. Why not appropriate the mission to have another 'date' with Liara? They didn't lead normal lives and hell, she'd already done the drinks and dinner move and that got her nowhere. Maybe turning a dangerous mission into an attempt at advancing romance was just what was needed.

"I…" Liara turned her head slightly and rewarded Jane with a curious smile. "How do you get to three dates, Jane?"

The commander thought about it for a moment. "Well, there was that first time at the Flux with Danger and Terriana. That was kind of like a double date, right? Then there was another time after that we went out with just Danger and spent most of that night alone. In fact, I seem to remember waking up the next morning in your arms."

"Yes, but if we are counting missions as dates, we have to count Feros and Noveria. In fact, you met my mother on Noveria."

"Yea, but I'd rather not call that one a date…" Jane tried to keep her voice level, remembering with some regret the death of the powerful asari matriarch.

"No, perhaps not. So, Feros, those times at the Flux… Oh, what about when Chief Williams took us to rescue you from that pirate? That was a date, right?"

Jane smiled. "Yea, that one could be called a date. I think I woke up next to you that morning, as well. Very good memories." She pounded the wall with her fist lightly. "Wow, this lock is just stupid."

Liara looked closer and shook her head. "You really have no idea what you are doing, do you?"

"Nope."

"So that puts us at… date five?"

The commander nodded slowly, mentally adding up all of their 'dates'. "Yep, looks like this is lucky number five. You know, we missed a few steps according to like, every dating rule book."

Liara bit her lower lip in anticipation. "Oh?"

"Yea," Jane stopped pretending to hack the weapons locker and reached up to brush the back of her fingers across Liara's skin. "In fact, we missed a pretty important step." Suddenly she stood up straight and reversed the direction of her hand, cupping the asari's cheek and tilting her head upward. She felt Liara's breathing shift as she leaned in, and flames erupted vaguely in her core and shot lightning to her fingertips.

"Oh Keelah, will the two of you stop it already?" Tali walked up between then and made quick work of the weapons locker, spilling the upgrades all over the ground at their feet. "I swear you two have the absolute worst idea of how to conduct a romance."

Liara scratched her forehead absently and smiled. "Well Tali, we _are _on a date."

"A date? Commander, Liara, this has got to be the absolute worst idea for a date _ever._ And I can't even contact Danger to tell her about it."

"Why not?" Jane asked.

"She went dark some time ago. I haven't been able to raise her or DIDI."

"Well, maybe she is just taking a break. I'm sure it's fine." Jane smiled what she hoped was a reassuring smile at the quarian and gestured toward the other side of the platform. "All right ladies, date or no, we have a lab to invade." She tilted her head to the side as she heard the salarian captain's voice over the comm.

'_Hold the line…'_

"Does he ever get tired of saying that, Commander?"

Jane thought Tali looked a little exasperated, but it was always so hard to tell with her. She just smiled at the young quarian and shrugged. "Whatever gets the job done, Tali. Let's move," she thumbed over her shoulder indicating the door in the middle of the platform.

"Right." Tali punched her omni-tool once more, readying it for hacking geth, and nodded to Jane.

Commander Shepard took point and led them through another series of catwalks, bringing them to what looked like the entrance to the building proper. Tali walked up beside her, glancing at the security terminal. She looked at Jane, and Jane nodded quickly, dropping back into a defensive position as the quarian took her place at the controls.

"Three doors and no security out here. Something doesn't smell right, Tali."

"That is just the plasma containers you blew up all over my suit, Shepard." Jane grinned roguishly and made a big show of wiping the imaginary substance off of the quarian. "Ugh, stop it, stop it, and get off me. Keelah, you are weird today." Tali swatted at the commander and Jane fell back into her defensive position, hefting her assault rifle and trying not to laugh.

"We can set off alarms on the far side of the base or just shut them down from here."

Jane took a moment to think about it. Setting off alarms would clear the way for them but might cause too much trouble for Williams, who sounded like she had her hands full keeping the salarian team together. "Just shut them down. We can handle whatever is in there."

"Yes, Commander."

Jane took a deep breath to steady herself, grasped for the platinum charge burning low in her belly, and turned to her two companions, grinning. "Now ladies, the only question is... what is behind door number… one!"


	58. Chapter 57: Queries by Twilight

**Chapter 57: Queries by twilight**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Normandy, Comm room<strong>_

_Vindication._

It was an unusual feeling, and one that the young commander had only felt a few times before in her short life. It is the feeling one gets when things finally fall into place; that insecure moment in between revelation and resignation. The rest of the galaxy didn't have a choice now. It was follow Jane Shepard or cease to exist. It was all so simple, now.

_Capitulation_.

Ah, it would feel so _right_ when she stood before the council, and they thanked her for her hard work in taking down Saren and offered her command of the fleet that was to bring him in. Their surrender, that final bittersweet acquiesce; it would be sweet beyond measure. She would graciously accept the honor, and lead the allied forces to victory. She would set aside her suspicions and her concerns, and delight in the fact that in the end, all of them had to accept her truths and act, lest they be forgotten in the lonesome chronicles of time.

_Condemnation_.

Ah, but this was the one she was struggling with the most. If she had held any illusions about her strength being enough to see all of her companions through to the end before, those were all gone now. What had started out playful and intriguing turned dark and foreboding in an instant. She felt guilt, immense guilt over treating the mission so flippantly and using it as a springboard for her own personal life. Maybe if she hadn't hesitated that one tick when she had pressed Liara against the wall. Maybe if she hadn't stolen those few moments at the weapons locker, gazing into the asari's eyes. Maybe if she hadn't…

'_Enough.' _

The word came to her unbidden, uninvited. Jane shivered. She knew the voice well, at this point, but it still unnerved her. He was there. He was with her. He was listening to her internal dialogue, her pathetic attempt to convince herself that all the decisions she had made up until this point were the right ones. He was watching her, as she stared vacantly into the ambient led of the console panel across from her, trying to piece together the map in her mind that would have led all of them to victory with no one left behind. He was present with her, in an almost companionable silence as she tried vainly to justify all that had happened down there on the planet and find some small comfort in the knowledge that at least, the mission had been accomplished. He was there with her and… he was cutting her pity party short.

Commander Jane Shepard stared unseeing at the now empty comm room, voices almost haunting her as she sorted through her jumbled mind. Images bombarded her as she tried to categorize them, this one a stolen moment with Liara, that one a skillful shot to the back of a krogan's head, those other ones something that was literally straight out of her nightmares. They swirled and danced in front of her vision not unlike the time she had joined with Sha'ira to learn Liara's origins. She grasped for them time and again, and time and again, they slipped away from her.

"Jane?"

If the commander was startled, she didn't show it. Her eyes remained focused on a point just beyond the hull of the ship, out there where her destiny lay. Out there, the black arms of time's passing reached for her and welcome her into their embrace. Out there, somewhere in the murky dimness, a lover awaited, longing to bring her and her host of death home to the bountiful feast of flesh and bone. Out there…

'_Enough.' _

It wasn't a request. Jane closed her eyes and nodded, more to herself than to anything, an acknowledgement from within. When she opened them, Liara was kneeling in front of her, as she had so many months ago when they first started their awkward and inconvenient romance.

"Hey, Liara."

Liara leaned forward on her thighs and studied the human's face for a few moments, taking in the drawn features and haggard appearance. Her energy was clearly depleted, and the commander looked exhausted. Despite that, the asari took some small comfort in the fact that Jane didn't even try to put on her soldier face. That mask was for the others, not for her. Jane was here, not Commander Shepard. And Jane needed her.

"Are you ok?"

_Good question, Liara. I wish I had an answer. _

"I'm fine."

Liara nodded. It was a lie and she knew it, but she didn't push the matter. Instead, she stood and offered her hand. Jane looked up and her and smiled weakly before taking it and allowing the asari to lead her to the medical bay storage area. She walked as if in a trance, just putting one foot in front of the other as she had in the platinum dreams. One foot in front of the other was all she could manage, and each step she took sapped just a little bit more of her strength and gnawed a little bit more of her soul.

When they reached the storage area, Liara led her over to the small cot and Jane sat down. She scooted up so her back was against the wall and she felt the asari lift her left arm and deposit it around her shoulder. She felt Liara's head rest against her chest and she closed her eyes, letting the day's stress wash away from her. At least she had this. She threaded the fingers of her right hand through Liara's and gazed almost in bewilderment at the sight of the intertwining, so different and so similar in so many ways.

She thought she heard music; a soft, melancholy tune playing, perhaps it was in her head. Perhaps Pressly put it on to soothe the crew and remind them of what they fought and died for. Perhaps Kaidan was reaching from beyond the grave to comfort them.

Kaidan.

Lieutenant Alenko.

They had lost Kaidan. Oh Jane didn't regret her decision and if she had it to do over again, she would do things exactly the same way, but that didn't make it any easier. It didn't matter that Ashley Williams was simply the more valuable soldier. Jane was having a hard time seeing things in black and white these days. She rested her head on Liara's and felt the asari clutch her closer. It was comforting. They stayed like that for Jane didn't know how many hours, just enjoying companionable silence. Just enjoying each other's company. Just… existing together.

After a time, the silence was broken.

"Do all humans turn silver when they fight?"

The question took Jane by surprise. She didn't know how to answer it. What could she say? Should she lie? Should she brush it off? Play dumb? No, this was Liara. She would see through any lie and Jane didn't want to lose this closeness, this intimacy. She didn't want to run from the answer.

"I don't think so, Liara."

She felt the asari nod against her chest. It was almost as if that was the answer she had expected. They fell back into companionable silence, and Jane absently ran her hand up and down Liara's arm.

"How are you feeling? How is your head?" she asked, referring to their most recent meld, which revealed the final piece of what Saren sought.

"I am fine, Jane. The joining is getting less taxing. Perhaps we are becoming used to one another."

"Maybe. How is everyone else holding up?"

Liara shrugged. "They are all sad about Lt. Alenko. Tali seems to have an upset stomach. Dr. Chakwas has given her something for it. Chief Williams has herself surrounded by weapons down in the garages. Garrus is trying to raise DIDI in the Mako. Wrex has not said a word to anyone."

Jane nodded absently, and hoped that Tali wasn't too sick. It was probably the soup Danger had left in the Mako – a strange concoction made by a joint turian and human effort to enhance the nutrient content for operatives who spent great lengths of time in the field. There must have been a human ingredient that didn't settle well with the quarian's sensitive system.

"Do you think we'll see Rana again?"

"I do not know, Jane. Maybe."

Shepard paused a moment, unsure if she wanted to voice her concerns. Never before had she questioned her own decisions, but lately… Lately things seemed to be more than a little out of her comfort zone. The past and the present seemed to be adding up to a rather uncertain future, and Jane's choices up until now were the catalyst. In the end, she spoke her thoughts. If she couldn't confide in Liara, she had nothing left.

"Do you think I should have killed her?"

Several moments pass. Liara wasn't really certain. Months ago, when she had first joined the mission she would have immediately said 'no'. Things were so black and white then. Life was precious and important, and there were no blurred lines at all. But now? Now, she had seen firsthand what the effects of indoctrination were. Her mother was proof of its strength. If Matriarch Benezia, the most powerful asari mentalist she had ever known could be controlled, what hope did a lowly scientist like Rana Thanoptis have?

"I do not know."

Silence descended once more. Jane sat there and thought about all of the things that had happened. It had been a ridiculously long day, and it was shaping up to be a pretty long night as well, filled with bitterness and regrets. Even Liara was starting to lose her innocence and optimism, the things that Jane loved most about her. Everyone had counted on their commander to make the decisions that would bring them back home safely and keep their morality intact. Everyone relied upon her leadership to see them through the darkness, even when all hope seemed to be lost. Everyone had kept faith in her, believing her to be some sort of untouchable demigod, and she had failed. She had failed them all. She had…

'_ENOUGH.' _

Jane fidgeted, disturbing her asari companion and causing the creature to release her hand and twist so she was on her back, gazing up at her. "Are you sure you are ok?" Liara looked up into her eyes with considerable fondness, and Jane felt her barriers breaking down, felt herself drowning in those cool blue pools windowing the young scientist's soul.

'_Tell her.'_

_It's too hard. She's so… She's losing her innocence you know._

'_Tell her.'_

Jane brushed her fingers over the crest of Liara's head. It was such a unique feeling, at the same time soft and strong. It wasn't anything like running her fingers through a woman's hair, she decided, but found herself smiling at the fact that it didn't bother her in the least. Up close like this, she was afforded time to truly gaze at the woman lying in her lap. She let her eyes wander over the perfectly formed forehead, to the tips of the tentacle-like structures that seemed almost as a crown, to the skin at the base of her neck that appeared to deepen in color the further back it went. She reached out to take Liara's hand, and to her surprise the asari took it in both of hers and held it close to her chest. Jane could feel the pulse beneath it, beating a soft melody that soothed her soul.

_I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her. _

'_Tell her.'_

_I love her, you know._

'_And that is why you must tell her.'_

Jane closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It hadn't occurred to her before how very… alone she was in all of this. Her best friend was on Thessia and beyond her reach, she had never known her parents at all, and she had no siblings that she knew of. Liara was the closest thing she had to any family, and they were mostly just good friends. She opened her eyes and looked down at the asari in her lap, searching, hoping. Liara steadily returned her gaze, and Jane felt that maybe the voice was right. Maybe, it was time after all.

"No, I guess I'm not ok, Liara. Today was… pretty bad."

"Yes…" Liara whispered; an absent reply, a quiet agreement. She didn't feel there was much more she _could_ say. Jane's internal struggle was understandable, and Liara had been a willing participant. The two of them had flirted their way to Saren's lab, conveniently forgetting that they were on a dangerous mission and instead appropriating every opportunity they had to make Tali uncomfortable. It had become a game, and it wasn't until they were literally face to face with the VI representation of an actual Reaper that they sobered up and remembered what they were there for. After that, things had just spiraled out of control. Saren attacked them. Jane tried to talk him down. Ashley got overwhelmed. Kaidan took a large piece of shrapnel to the leg and was immobilized. They were rushing up the tower to help the chief. The Normandy was picking them up. Kaidan's voice was heard over the secure channel attempting to absolve the commander of any guilt… and then all was strangely silent as they filed into the comm room for the usual debriefing.

They hadn't all made it out alive, for the first time since starting this journey together. And it _hurt_.

A message was sent to the council. Normandy was called back to the Citadel. Time seemed to stand still and leave them all breathless and misplaced and… forsaken.

And now, she was here with Jane, knowing that she had to share the human's burdens but not really knowing… how. How many times had she been right here in this very place? How many times had she looked toward the human commander, seeing the struggle clearly visible on her face and done nothing? How many times had Jane reached out to her, seeking comfort, assistance, hope, only to be turned away because Liara was too scared to face the darker aspects of their union?

_No more. It is now or never, Liara. _

Liara closed her eyes and reached out into the void, looking for Jane and offering her comfort. Only seconds passed, and she felt the human's mind link up with hers. A wave of relief washed over her though the link, telling her that she had made the right choice. This was just what Jane needed from her, and maybe, it was just what she needed from Jane as well.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Visions <strong>_

"_I am here, Jane, though, I do know really know where 'here' is."_

_Jane Shepard stood just a few feet away, staring into the distance, at something that Liara couldn't really make sense of. She heard sounds, strangely metallic melodies that filled her senses with longing, with joy, and with dread, all at once. She saw light, but it wasn't bright like sunlight, nor was it soft like twilight. It was modest, and it was decadent, and it just… was. _

"_This is what I see when I dream, Liara."_

_Liara moved to stand beside Jane and gaze at the planet in the distance, a strange thing with dancing swords circling it. _

"_Every time?"_

_Jane glanced at the asari. "Well no, not every time. But sometimes when you ask me what I am thinking about, this is it. This place. The things that... that He made me do in this place."_

"_He?"_

"_I… Well I don't really know. I meant to take us to see Dr. Warren but we never had time…"_

"_Who is that?"_

"_Well she is just someone who might know about these sorts of things. I met her on Eden Prime, just before I came to find you. So many other things happened and I just lost track of things I wanted to do I guess."_

"_What is this place, Jane?"_

_Jane thought for a moment, and looked around. Her memory had started out barren, just a lonely path leading toward the planet with the singing swords, much like the very first dream that had brought her here. As she turned her head and surveyed the expanse in front of them, things took on a different shape, the air warped and the ground receded. All of the trials she had been through slowly started to appear, and she closed her eyes, not wanting to see Liara's reaction when the stone slabs covered in blood rose out of the ground. _

"_I think it's heaven." She opened her eyes. "And I think it's hell. And I think that there is a force at work here that makes me blur the lines between the two."_

_Jane looked down as Liara threaded their fingers together. "It is beautiful here, Jane. It is beautiful in a quiet and lonely way. It reminds me so much of you."_

"_I don't understand what you mean."_

"_When I see you fight, you transform. You do not look like yourself. You look like… This." She gestured to the scene before her with her free hand. "You look like all of this. And all of this looks like you. It is bright and shining and devoid of color. It is silver and arctic and the edges are so sharp. It is frightening and comforting and just so familiar. What is on that planet?" She pointed in the distance at the swords that were lazily circling each other, occasionally clinking together._

"_His throne."_

_Liara nodded. "You have seen it?"_

"_Yes. I have seen it. He put me on it, once."_

"_Do you know why?"_

"_No."_

_They lapsed into silence once more, and Jane allowed herself to be pulled along as Liara's curious nature got the better of her. They walked quietly for a time, the asari just gazing around her at all of the things that Jane's memory had called forth. Here was a bridge that still bore the mark of her passing. Blood and flesh that had been seared from her forearms as she inched her way forward adorned the silver ground leading up to it, and the mercury it led over swirled with the tempest of her passing, even now. Further down the path was a canopy that had been neatly sliced, providing an oddly placed backdrop with a window to the stars, next to a mountain that had been torn asunder and left to crumble. _

_Liara continued to lead them along the path, and after a time they passed through a sort of tunnel. As the curious asari gripped along the wall her hands caught on something metallic. She stopped, and pulled at the object but it would not budge. _

"_Jane, what is this?"_

_Shepard came up behind her, set a hand on the item and gently pulled it from the wall. "It's something that helped me complete this trial. This tunnel was in that planet, and I had to dig my way out of it. It was… unnerving." She handed the small object to the asari and Liara turned it over and over in her hands._

"_Jane, my mother gave me a shovel exactly like this. Have you been looking through my things?"_

_Jane shook her head. "Of course not, Liara. I have no idea where that came from. It was just… here when I needed it the most."_

_Liara was silent for a time, contemplating. She believed Jane, of course. She didn't think Jane was the type to snoop nor had she ever noticed any of her things being disturbed, but it was still… odd. _

"_My mother gave me a silver shovel. She never told me why. She just packed it in my things when I left home."_

_Jane took the object from Liara and stuck it forcefully back into the wall. "You told me about that once before. Have you ever looked into its origins?"_

_The asari shook her head. "No. I always thought it was my mother's way of accepting my chosen profession, but I am not so sure now. It is an artifact from thousands of years ago and it is made of some sort of silver alloy, but I cannot pinpoint the exact composition. It feels… focused when I touch it. I do not know how to describe it."_

"_Maybe you can show it to me later."_

"_Yes. I will show it to you later." The asari nodded enthusiastically, surprised the idea hadn't occurred to her sooner._

_Liara resumed her walk and felt her way along the tunnel until it dropped off, leaving them back on the path heading toward the throne. _

"_Hmmm…"_

"_What is it, Jane?"_

_Jane had turned around and was looking at all the trials they had so far passed. "I was just thinking that it was odd that this trial was in the order it was. I wonder if there was any significance to that, or if maybe he just… messed up the timeline when he put me through them."_

"_I do not understand."_

_Jane gestured to the tunnel. "Well that tunnel was actually on that planet." She turned and pointed toward the planet with the dancing swords. "When I completed it, I fell out."_

"_You fell out?"_

_Jane nodded. "Yea, I fell out. It was a little scary. But, what's odd is that I ended up back down here again. I hadn't thought about it until now, with all the trials laid before me." She shrugged and pointed down the path. "Well, I don't know. This is way above my pay grade. Do you want to continue?"_

_Liara nodded. "Yes, Jane. I want to see the rest." She started moving along again down the path, the commander following behind her. "What is that?" she gestured to a fountain, that had faint specks of blood on the ground around it. _

"_He made me drink from that. It tore me from the inside out."_

_Liara looked at Jane in horror. "Why… why did you never tell me what these dreams were about?"_

"_I didn't want to burden you with all of…" she gestured widely, trying to encompass everything. "This."_

_Liara looked into the commander's eyes and felt a stab of remorse. All this time, Jane was being crushed by her own mind, and all this time, Liara had just brushed it off as if it was nothing. It wasn't 'nothing', and as the asari looked around at the trials she felt something eerily familiar to her own… encounter. It was similar to Athame's kingdom, but so very different at the same time. How had Jane described it? Heaven, Hell, and a blurred, almost indistinguishable line between the two? That's exactly what Athame's throne room had been like. Reassuring and comforting at the same time, but with danger just bubbling beneath the surface and a thinly veiled threat on top of it all._

"_I wish you had, Jane." She took the commander's hand again and started making her way toward a courtyard. _

"_Liara?"_

"_Yes?" Jane had stopped, pulling the asari with her. _

"_I don't think you should see that one."_

_Liara searched the human's eyes, and searched her own mind for any clue as to why she was so reluctant about this trial. She looked back toward the courtyard, and thought she could make out the faint outline of metal slabs. After a few moments, she nodded her head. "Jane… you told me about a dream once, when I sent you away. You told me you had to kill some of us in it. Is that, that dream?"_

_Jane nodded slowly. "I don't know if I want you to see it, Liara."_

_Liara came to stand in front of the human and took both hands in her own. She breathed deeply, and closed her eyes, listening to the strange melody from far away, strengthening her resolve. "Jane, I think that it is time we both stopped running. I want to face the things you face, and I want to be the one you run to when you become overwhelmed. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I sent you to the consort. I should have been stronger, and I should have been able to stand beside you then. I cannot change what I did, but I can stand with you now." She let go of the commander's hands, turned and started to walk toward the courtyard. _

_Jane didn't move, just watched the asari as she made her way through the gateway to the metal slabs. Those words were easy to say, but much harder to follow through on. When Liara was face to face with what she'd had to do to them… to her… she might change her mind. So Jane just waited, and watched as Liara walked around the courtyard, in the same order that she had done in her trial so many moons ago. _

_The asari brushed her hand along the quarian girl's mask first, a softness gracing her features, activating her maternal instincts. It wasn't unlike what Jane had felt when she had stood there, with that horrible rusty sword poised just above the child's heart. After a moment, Liara moved on to the chief's pedestal. She touched Ashley's hand and nodded quietly to the dead soldier, reflecting on the extra help the chief had provided her during their training exercises and the secrets that had never been revealed about the day she destroyed a cargo bay. A few beats passed, and she moved on to Kaidan's slab, pain contorting her features. Kaidan was actually dead, not just metaphorically dead in one of Jane's nightmares. Jane watched as Liara leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on the man's forehead before turning away and walking to the other side of the courtyard. _

"_I'm so sorry, Lt. Alenko."_

_When Liara reached the other side, she looked quizzically at Wrex. The krogan had a sort of smile on his face and looked almost peaceful. She gently touched one wound, then another, and then brushed her fingers along his face. He had died a good death, at the hands of a warrior he respected. He would have been happy with this. She turned and moved on to Garrus, that unusual C-Sec officer and unofficial mechanic that confided in her one night that he had grown fond of a certain quarian machinist. She felt sorriest for him, and wondered if this was more than just a dream. Perhaps it was an alternate reality, or another dimension, and somehow Jane's actions had destroyed his one chance at romance. Perhaps Jane had destroyed all their chances in this deserted land. _

_Finally, and with a heavy heart, she approached the final slab, the slab that held her own body. _

"_Jane…" _

"_I'm here." _

_At some point the commander had moved behind her. The asari glanced over her shoulder, and then back at her own body lying there, a sword piercing her heart. This slab seemed to be messiest, blood spattered over her clothing and everywhere along the cold steel. The sword was still sticking out of her chest, and it was stained red all the way up to the hilt. _

"_What happened here, Jane?" Liara slowly walked around the metal slab, looking at it from every angle. _

"_This was the hardest, Liara. He wanted to know if when the time came, I could make the choice. The things that he showed me… The things I knew would happen if I couldn't…"_

"_Why is there… why is there so much blood here."_

_In response, Jane held out her hand, which was suddenly cut to the bone and bleeding. She advanced, and wrapped it around the blade as she had in the trial, and she placed her other hand on the Liara replica's head. _

"_Because I couldn't let you go, Liara. I wanted to go with you." She blinked back tears as she stared at the asari's lifeless eyes. "I wanted to go with you, and I couldn't let all my friends die… couldn't let you die, and suffer no injury myself." She gripped the sword more tightly, and the blood flowed freely over the lifeless body and into the ground. "I couldn't let you go…"_

"_Jane, stop this." Liara reached for the commander's hand and gently took it off of the sword. She turned the human toward her and held her as they both sank to the ground, sitting in the pool of blood._

"_This is why I didn't want to burden you with all of this, Liara. This is way more than you bargained for, I'm sure."_

_Liara just held the human against her chest, holding that bleeding hand closed and rocking her back and forth. "No Jane, it is not. I am here for you. I could not be then, but I can be now. Now I understand what burdens you bear."_

_Jane closed her eyes and nodded, not entirely believing but not wanting to ruin the moment, either. She just wanted to accept this comfort, and keep this memory for all time. She sensed the blood flowing through her closed hand, over the asari's and onto the ground below them. Dark red, it felt like it was coming straight from her heart and time seemed to slow down as she pushed from within, willing more of her life's essence to leave her body. Her eyes darkened. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to be held and comforted, not here, in this place, sitting in a pool of her friends' blood. She didn't deserve the reassurance and understanding, while sitting at the foot of the altar on which she had sacrificed, had been able __**to**__ sacrifice, her one and only love. She didn't deserve…_

'_**ENOUGH**__.'_

_The wound closed. The blood disappeared. Jane's vision cleared, and Liara pulled back to look at the human, slightly confused, but resolved. _

"_Are there any others?"_

_Jane took a deep, calming breath. "There are, but this… this was the worst one. The others were just more of… him making me figure stuff out."_

_Liara nodded. "I have something to show you as well, Jane."_

"_Oh?" She was grateful for the distraction. _

"_Yes." She stood, helping the commander to her feet. She closed her eyes, and took over the meld, guiding Jane to a new place. _

* * *

><p><em>The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.<em>

* * *

><p>"<em>Where are we?" Jane looked at the darkened surroundings. Something was familiar, but different. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, though. Something about… the power. Yes, that was it, the unadulterated power of the room. That was familiar. The ambiance? The darkness that was light in its own right? The deep midnight black that covered the floors, the walls, the very throne itself? That was different. It was… opposite… complementary… <em>

_Balancing._

"_Would you believe me if I said Athame's throne room?"_

_Jane looked sharply at the asari, but there was no hint of laughter around her eyes as there often was when she teased the commander. Her face was set in stone, and her posture and crossed arms indicated that she was serious… and irritated. _

"_Athame… but I thought you didn't believe in the goddess?"_

"_I do not," she replied dryly. "At least, I did not, before this." She gestured to the ornate chair, which was black as night and delicately carved. It was also enormous, and foreboding. _

"_I don't understand, Liara."_

"_Neither do I, not really." She sat at the foot of the throne and put her elbows on her knees, chin in her hands. "Athame said some very strange things to me. Something about being a direct descendant of her line, and an embarrassment. I have also been hearing things in my head, things that I thought were indoctrination, but now I think that maybe they could have been her. I do not know. None of it is clear."_

_Jane looked at the miserable asari and felt her heart breaking. She knew. She knew everything, and she had all the knowledge locked away neatly where it couldn't be accidentally stumbled upon. She searched Liara's face, not sure what it was she was looking for but knowing somehow that she had to find it. She knelt down before her companion and tilted her head up, forcing the woman to look into her eyes. Jane held her gaze for a few moments, wondering, contemplating. _

'_Tell her.' _

_There it was again. The Silver Voice, her everlasting companion was urging her along, even in this place so far from his kingdom. He was giving her permission, giving her direction, and she closed her eyes, silently acknowledging him. _

'_I understand.'_

"_Liara… there are… some other things. I don't know if you are ready to hear it."_

_The asari shook her head and smiled weakly. "Jane, I do not see what could possibly shock me after all that we have been through today. I mean… __**look**__ at this place." She gestured to the throne room and the silver expanse that was just beyond the horizon, where Jane had murdered all their companions._

_Jane licked her lips and inhaled deeply. Once she did this, there would be no going back, and Sha'ira had been very certain that Liara wasn't ready yet. She had been very clear when she offered to share all of this with Jane, and Jane had accepted her terms and conditions. Jane had promised to…_

'_**Tell her**__.'_

_She closed her eyes, and nodded. Sha'ira was wise, but Jane got the feeling that the Voice was eternal. He was right; she had to tell Liara, now more than ever. She stood, and held her hand out for the asari. Liara took it, a look of confusion on her face. _

"_Jane?"_

"_Just trust me." She pulled the asari close and turned the creature's head into her shoulder, wrapping her other arm possessively around her waist. "Please, just trust me, Liara."_

* * *

><p><em>The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.<em>

* * *

><p><em>And then it happened. She opened her mind, her entire mind, and let the asari pick through the pieces, all of them. She opened herself to her companion, and pushed forward for the very first time all of the things that weighed on her, and all of the things that she had been holding back. Liara's emotions through the shared link ran the gamut from mildly entertained, to exasperated, to overjoyed, to confused, to resigned, but it wasn't until she came to a dark corner of Jane's psyche though that she became restless, and agitated, and despondent. It wasn't until she saw the visions that Jane had taken such care to hide away, that she gripped the human tightly and seemed to lose control over the muscles in her body. Jane eased them both to the ground, and held Liara as she played the visions over and over again in her mind, examining them from every angle, every perspective, looking for some clue, some reason for all of it. Some motive for her mother to have kept it all from her these long years. Something… anything…<em>

_Jane looked up to the sky and sensed that the Voice was pleased with her. She closed her eyes and leaned back against Athame's throne, gathering the asari against her chest and holding her tightly. "It's ok Liara, I'm here. I'm always going to be here." _

"_Jane… why did she never tell me?" Liara whispered, barely audible. _

"_I don't know, Liara. I don't know. She was hurt, and scared, and not thinking clearly."_

"_So this is what you went to Sha'ira about…"_

"_Yes."_

_Liara clutched Jane even more tightly, regretting the horrible way she had behaved. "I am so sorry, Jane. So sorry…"_

"_Shh, it's ok." The commander ran her hand along the asari's crest, and squeezed her more tightly. "Don't worry about it. Are you ok?"_

"_I do not know, Jane. I do not know…"_

_Silence descended upon them as Jane lightly caressed Liara, and Liara clutched at the commander's shirt as if it was her only salvation in this vile nightmare. She continued to replay the visions in Jane's mind, not trusting her own and drawing comfort from the link they shared. Their breathing slowed, and it seemed that a canopy of warm darkness fell over them. Silver stars fell from the heavens and covered them, warming them with dull light and soothing their disorderly minds. The song of the swords in the distance resumed, a sweet lullaby caressing their skin and inviting them to slumber. All was still, in this place halfway between Palladium's heaven and Athame's hell. All was still, as Jane and Liara, the best and the brightest both gods had to offer, drifted off to sleep, content in each other's arms, no secrets left to come in between them. _

* * *

><p><strong><em>Normandy, Medical Bay Storage Area<em>**

Hours later the call came, and Jane reluctantly disentangled herself from her asari companion.

"I have to go ashore. Do you want to go or should I take Ash?"

"Take Chief Williams. Go make sure the council knows what we are up against. I am going to… reflect on things for a while. I have… a lot to think about."

Jane nodded and brushed her fingertips across Liara's cheek. The asari caught it and held it there for a moment, closing her eyes. "Thank you for telling me, Jane… for telling me everything."

Commander Jane Shepard nodded and stood, straightening her casualwear and stepping back. "I'll see you in a bit, Liara." She turned and walked away, and Liara closed her eyes, leaning against the cool steel of the wall and praying in earnest for the very first time, to Athame to give her the strength she needed to see all of this through to the end.


	59. Chapter 58: Confessions by Midnight

**A/N**

So… I had this epiphany. Breakthrough, you could say. Changed a lot of things regarding how I was going to continue with this fic especially with how to link Aethyta into all of this in part II, but it's a good direction so we will see how that works out. This chapter might be a little darker than I had originally intended but I think it fits. It was hard to write. All of these kinds of chapters up until this point were done mostly in dream sequences, first person, so I struggled a lot with it. First person in general is incredibly arrogant and there was no way I was writing this chapter that way. So you might notice some stylistic differences. I hope that it turned out well enough and that you all enjoy it. I'm tired of rewriting it, though I will likely go over it again in a few days to fix any remaining tense issues.

Without further ado, I present the conclusion to _This is why you have to save the universe_. I'll see you all in a few months after I have refreshed my memory on Mass Effect 2's lore, and we will continue the story.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 58: Confessions by midnight<strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Normandy, Medical bay storage areas<strong>_

Liara watched Jane leave, and then sat still for a few moments, clasping her hands loosely in her lap. The weight of the revelations from the past few hours overwhelmed her mind. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hoping to calm the storm that raged unchecked through her soul even now, after she'd had time to process it during slumber.

_And Jane is gone. There is no one to help me through this. Everyone is gone, and I am left here alone to try to make sense of all of this. _

She pushed herself off the small cot and pulled a footlocker out from underneath it. She opened it, and moved aside some clothing and datapads to reveal a plain silver shovel, her mother's gift to her when she left their home planet to find herself. She hadn't thought too much about it at the time, but now her thoughts were racing with the possibilities.

_Mother… why?_

Gently, she picked the object up and closed her eyes, feeling it seem to draw energy from her skin and center her in its cool metallic embrace. It was truly a remarkable item, though not particularly useful as an actual tool. It was far too small to be of much use on one of her digs, but something about having it near always comforted her. It seemed to hum and pulse with an otherworldly quality, enveloping her with peace and soothing her scattered mind when she would try to piece together a puzzle at a dig site.

_This was my father's. All this time and Benezia never told me that this was my father's. _

She held the object at arm's length and her eyes glazed over as she went over all the memories Jane had given her once again. So much of it was still confusing, but with time and research, she felt she could piece it all together. All she needed was time, and maybe more unrestricted access to Jane's thoughts. Jane could help her understand what it all meant. Jane could help her to make sense of it all. As long as she had Jane, she could figure this whole thing out.

_I hope we get more time before we have to go through the Mu Relay. There are so many things that I should have the answers to, but the more answers I get; the more questions seem to be unanswered._

Liara put the shovel back into the footlocker and closed it back up, sliding it back underneath the cot. She sat back on the edge, and folded her hands in her lap. Normally when Jane was off doing her duty as an alliance soldier, she would pour herself into research at the small console that Jane had made sure was set up for her. She would look over her notes, read papers written by other researchers or go over diagrams of prothean cities and buildings. Right now though, she couldn't will herself to do much more than stare at the slow blink of the LED light in the corner, waiting.

_I do not even know what I am waiting for, really. _

So it was with sullen resignation that Liara sat, and stared, and closed her eyes, and thought for a bit, and opened her eyes, and stared again. Minutes passed, and then perhaps hours while she sat there, examining every bit and piece of the memories passed to her during her connection to Jane, hoping for some sort of epiphany.

_She did not hide it because of shame over her partner. She hid it because she knew that if I knew, I would blame her and perhaps even… hate her._

Liara paused for a moment, unsure of the implications of what she had just realized.

_**Do**__ I hate her?_

Time seemed to stand still and hang breathless around her as she considered her answer. All of these long years Benezia had been able to lie to her, to her face, and tell her some conjured story of shame regarding two asari parents. Nevermind that for thousands of years before making contact with other species the asari had somehow managed to thrive. Nevermind that some of the most powerful and influential matriarchs among their race often bound wrists to their commando protectors for life. Nevermind that everywhere she looked, asari partners were getting on just fine, seemingly oblivious to any prejudice.

Nevermind all of that, and lie to poor little naive Liara. Let her believe that it was something that was shameful and wrong, and she won't ask any questions. Let her think that she was unwanted, a mistake, and a joke among her peers. Far better than to admit weakness, was that it? Was Benezia too proud? Was she just too proud to tell her own blood that her mind hadn't been strong enough to avert the tragedy and no one else had been able to help? Was she too narcissistic, needing for her daughter to see her as the all-powerful and wise asari matriarch that nothing could ever touch? Was she just cruel, under that soft and loving facade, caring nothing at all for her even as she held the child in her arms and soothed her cries? Was she… evil?

Another pause and Liara closed her eyes. She was starting to get carried away.

_No… she was not evil. She hid it because of what Liari was…_

And then, her epiphany came.

_She hid it because of what Liari was._

And what was Liari N'Vara? Some sort of demon? Some sort of angel? Neither? Both? And did it live inside her as well now, just waiting to break free?

_What is waiting to break free? What will happen if… when… it does? Will I even know myself? Will I look at myself in the mirror and not see Liara, Liara the asari scientist who is in love with Jane? What will I see? Will I endanger Jane? Will I endanger the rest of the crew?_

Panic suddenly constricted her chest and her breath became short. Anger was clouding her vision again and darkness swirled in her eyes. She was robbed of the one person who could have explained to her, who could have helped her to control it, whatever _it_ was. Benezia had taken it from her, and even rubbed it all in her face, giving her that pet name they used in that stupid book. That book… Those journals… all of those things Benezia always kept around their home in Armali… All those things that she had assumed were just a rather unhealthy obsession with an elusive celebrity were actually… _her_ things. Benezia's things, things she owned with Liari and things they both loved during the brief time they were together. Her things… now Liara's. Soon, she would have to go see to her mother's estate. Soon, she would have to face everything in that house, objects that were once touched, and loved, by her father.

'_Calm yourself.'_

Liara's eyes cleared and she relaxed the fists she hadn't even known she had been making. Where had that voice come from? It sounded like… no… it _felt_ like Jane but sounded nothing like her. It felt older, and it was deeper, but it still had that faintly metallic ring to it that always brushed against her heart when Jane would speak. It was commanding but gentle and despite her anger, her breathing evened out.

'_Embrace it. Do not fear it. She is strong enough for both of you.'_

Liara didn't know why… but she believed the voice. Something about it was so familiar, even though she had never heard it before. It felt eternal and she longed for it to stay with her, to comfort her, but she also got the feeling that it had somehow… broken a rule for her. Perhaps several. It wasn't supposed to be there. She closed her eyes and pushed herself back until she was settled against the wall. Getting angry had depleted her strength, even though she and Jane had slept well. She needed a few moments to clear her mind and compartmentalize all of the new data she had regarding… everything.

Time passed, and her pulse slowed, and her jumbled thoughts slowly became organized again. Her head fell slightly to the side and she felt her eyes close, slumber nipping weakly at her mind and inviting her to rest again. She would just rest for a moment, and maybe when she awakened, she could try once more to understand it all, this time without getting angry. Jane would be back soon, and she could join with the human again and together they could look through every memory and perhaps find answers. After the council sent the fleet in after Saren, they could go back to her childhood home on Thessia and see to her mother's estate. Everything would be fine, once Jane got back. Liara's mind quieted. Time stopped. All was still.

"Hey Liara?" The Normandy pilot's jovial voice came over the comm, interrupting her thoughts and causing her to start. She took a moment to recover before answering.

"Yes, I am here Joker. What do you need?"

"The commander has come back on board and she's in pretty bad shape. She nearly destroyed our best training sim. She's down in the garages, if you have a minute. Thought you could give her a hand."

"That was fast..." She looked at the console and though it had seemed like she had been mulling over her thoughts for several hours, it had actually only been one. "Do you know what happened on the Citadel?"

"Yea. The council grounded us. Told the commander they'd 'handle' Saren themselves, which means they aren't planning to do shit. She's taking it pretty hard."

"Thank you Joker. I will head down there immediately."

"Joker out."

Liara pushed herself off the cot and straightened her ship casualwear, brushing off imaginary dust and composing herself. Her issues would have to wait.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Normandy, Garages<strong>_

"Jane?" Liara approached cautiously, taking in the scene before her. Jane was on the ground, looking disheveled and raw. Her wrists rested on her knees, and the knuckles of both looked swollen and there were traces of blood. Her normally neat hair that was always tucked behind her ear was slightly matted. Her face wore a dark expression, and her normally pressed uniform shirt had a tear in the neck. In short, Jane looked like she had taken out a little anger on some of the more dangerous combat training equipment at the far side of the garages. Liara watched her carefully and stopped just in front of the human when Jane looked up at her.

"Danger was right. They cut me out the second they thought I was a liability. They grounded us, Liara."

Liara shook her head. Jane sounded pained, defeated. Her shoulders slumped and she was absently running her fingers over her knuckles, tracing the swollen patterns that were starting to turn darker shades of color. Liara realized that she barely recognized the human sitting before her. This woman wasn't Commander Shepard. It couldn't be.

"And you are just going to give up? That's not the Commander Shepard that I know. We have been through a lot, Jane. A lot more than the council will ever know."

"Yea, well, they wouldn't believe it all anyway. You said yourself we couldn't go to them with crazy stories of Athame and all of this other crap."

"No, but you cannot just give up, either. You and I both know what is at stake here. It is more than just one turian."

"Yea well, that's the way it is."

"So you're going to walk away? You will just give up and doom the entire galaxy to extinction?"

This disappointment in her voice was overwhelming. The normally melodic symphony that accosted Jane's ears every time Liara spoke was replaced with a pitiful cry, the wounded cry of a defeated and disillusioned creature. She wasn't used to it. Jane looked up at her and felt her heart breaking. They had been through so much in such a short period of time. They had battled geth and indoctrinated slaves from all species; they had visited worlds within their minds that stretched back thousands of years, they had even stood together and killed Liara's mother, her only living flesh and blood. They had seen and dealt more final judgment than many entire armies throughout history, and the only thing that had kept her going was the knowledge that her friends, and Liara especially, had faith in her. If Liara lost faith in her, If Liara was finally so disillusioned that even she was forced to turn away… Jane had nothing more to live for. She had to make sure that never happened.

"We're out of the game for now. But I'll find a way back in." Jane said the words with as much confidence and conviction as she could muster, hoping beyond hope that her sincerity got through.

"I believe in you, Shepard. I am with you every step of the way." Liara offered her hand to Jane, and after a moment, the soldier nodded her head once and took it. She felt herself being pulled upward, but her ankle had other ideas and she lost her footing, reaching out blindly for something to steady herself.

"I have got you, Jane."

There was a beat, and Jane saw the confidence, the certainty in Liara's eyes. Liara still believed in her. Liara was with her until the end. She didn't have to face any of this alone. Her weaknesses would be augmented and complemented by Liara's strengths. She finally had what she had needed most desperately during this entire long mission – a reason, a real reason, to see it through to the end.

Her feet now steady beneath her; she tightened her grip around the asari's waist and drew her closer, hearing her companion's breathing shift and seeing her eyes start to darken as she leaned in. All she could think about was Liara's lips, that elusive contact that had somehow managed to escape them throughout their long courtship, finally within reach. When everything else in the world was falling apart, Liara was there to cement it back together and bring stability to Jane's out of control world. This was the one thing that was certain, that was real, that she could reach out and claim for herself. This was…

"Sorry to interrupt, Commander. Got a message from Captain Anderson."

"You have GOT to be kidding me, Joker. This is what, three times now? Don't tell me you aren't spying on us." Jane didn't even try to hide her frustration as she reluctantly released her grip on the asari.

"Come on, Commander. I'm a total professional here. I just knew you were back on board and thought you'd want to know."

"Right, Joker." She was grateful for having taken out some stress on the combat training simulator earlier. The pain in her hand was a welcome distraction from the pains she was feeling elsewhere.

"You should probably go meet with him." Ever the voice of reason, Liara put her hand on the commander's forearm and squeezed lightly.

"No, Liara. We should probably go meet with him." Jane brushed her fingers across Liara's cheek. "I want you ashore with me this time."

"Of course, Jane. I will go get my gear and meet you on the Citadel."

"Tell Tali to gear up too."

"Of course." Liara turned to walk away and Jane stood there thoughtfully for another moment, watching her leave.

_I'll find a way back in, Liara. I won't let you down. I think that letting you down could quite possibly be the worst thing I could ever do. I don't even care of the universe all goes to shit, just as long as I never hear that disappointment in your voice again. _

She straightened her casualwear, ran her fingers through her hair a couple times, and headed to her cabin to grab her gear and clean herself up.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Normandy, cockpit, sometime later<strong>_

"What are we waiting for, Commander?" Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams stood with her arms crossed, watching her commanding officer in confusion. She had been left on the Normandy when Jane went ashore, and so she was out of the loop on what was going on. The commander had told her to come to the bridge but hadn't explained why.

"Just give him a few minutes. Just a few minutes." Jane fidgeted a little, rubbing her fingertips together and watching the flight controls console panel.

"Who?"

"Captain Anderson. He's going to create an... opportunity for us."

The chief eyed Jane suspiciously. "What kind of opportunity?"

"I just took a page out of your playbook, Ash. They weren't going to let us get on with it, so I'm making them."

Realization dawned on Ashley. They were going to steal the Normandy... again. "Totally proud of you, Skipper. No, really."

Jane just nodded and continued looking at the console. "Come on, Anderson. Come on... YES! Joker, get us out of here. Now."

"Yes, ma'am!" The pilot leaned forward, grinning from ear to ear as his hands started dancing over the console, bringing them out of the docking bay.

"Keep an eye on things up here with Joker. I'm headed back to my cabin to take a breather and think about some things." She clasped Ashley on the shoulder and squeezed. "Get them ready, Ash. This is it. This is what Kaidan sacrificed himself for, what he wanted us to be able to do."

"Aye, Commander. We'll be ready."

Jane nodded, and left the flight deck to go prepare herself for the mission. She brushed past Liara on her way out and gave her a small salute as she passed.

"Where is the commander going?" Liara asked as she walked into the cockpit.

"She's taking a break. Needs to clear her head. Something like this will cost her, her career if it backfires."

Liara nodded. "You seem awfully calm about it, Chief Williams."

Ashley shrugged. "I'm already at the bottom of the barrel as it is. I've been passed over for more promotions than… well I stopped bothering to count after fifty or so. Besides, I'm just following orders. The fallout will come down on the commander and Captain Anderson, not the rest of us. After all that we've lost, this seems like a fitting end, anyway."

Liara picked up on the hurt in Ashley's voice and reached out to touch the human's hand. "He would not want you to be sad, Ashley…"

"Wow, T'Soni. That's the first time you've ever used my first name." Her voice registered shock but her smile was warm. She gripped the alien's hand and looked down at it, thoughtful. "You know, I really hated aliens. I didn't want anything to do with them. Serving under the commander and with all of you though… It wasn't as bad as I thought."

"I am glad that we could change your mind, Chief Williams." Liara let the hand go and stepped back. "I think I am going to go and make sure that Jane is all right."

"I'll let you know when we reach Ilos. Take care of her, T'Soni."

"Yea, take _care_ of her, Liara." Joker grinned wide and waggled his eyebrows before Ashley smacked the back of his seat. "Hey watch it! Frail bones, remember?"

"You watch it, Joker. We'll see you in a bit, T'Soni." She waved the asari away and turned to face the pilot, arms crossed. "And you keep your paws off that comm. Do NOT bother the commander until we arrive. Got it?"

"Geeze, yea sure, I got it. I got it!" He threw his hands up defensively when it looked like Ashley was about to smack the seat a second time. "I got it!"

"Good."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Normandy, En route to Commander Jane Shepard's quarters<strong>_

Doctor Liara T'Soni took her time walking to the captain's cabin. Thoughts were racing through her mind and she wanted to be clear and focused when she stepped through that door. They had stolen the Normandy, which meant that not only were they chasing Saren but they were on the run as well. Jane had taken a huge risk to get them back in the game, and she must be feeling the weight of uncertainty now. The last thing she needed was for Liara to crush her with more confusion.

_Perhaps I should just leave her with her thoughts. She did not ask me to come, after all. She walked right by me._

Liara paused and leaned against the wall, ignoring the stares of the various Alliance crew members as they passed by. She was starting to get used to the stares anyway, and it didn't really matter what they thought about her in the end. In the end, all that mattered was stopping Saren. They would stop Saren, he would fail in his attempt to help the reapers, and she would never see any of these people again. They didn't matter at all, and neither did their opinions of aliens on the ship.

_I will never see any of them again… Jane, will you leave too? Will I stay with you? _

That question was sobering. She pushed herself off the wall and continued her journey with renewed purpose. If this was to be the end, she wanted to spend what little time there was with Jane. So much had happened and she had wasted so much time with her own indecision and immaturity. No matter what was on the other end of that relay, no matter what dark things awakened in her afterward, no matter what the future might hold for them, she was going to do this. Liara stopped at the door, entered the access code Jane had programmed into it for her, and stepped into the dimly lit cabin, spotting the commander across the room.

"I was just thinking about you." Jane turned around from the console she was seated at and stood up to greet the asari. "This is it, pretty much."

"Yes," Liara said as she stepped closer. "This is the last chance we will have to…" she let the word trail off and searched Jane's eyes. She wasn't sure what kind of reassurance she was looking for, exactly, or how to finish the statement. She hoped that Jane understood. It seemed she did, because he human's eyes softened and focused all in one breath, and Liara felt her own breathing abandon her at the desire reflected in those dark and dangerous irises.

"You know what it means if we do this, right? What it will activate? You've seen the visions, the letters… the story. We might not be able to control it." Jane lifted her fingers to brush Liara's cheek and winced slightly. She had medigelled her knuckles herself, not wanting to worry Chakwas, and though the skin had knit together there was still some pain and swelling in her left hand, which she favored. It would take a few hours to completely heal. Liara covered the hand with her own, the gentle touch starting a chain reaction of flames cascading down her arm.

"I know. I know what this means. I will not let fear stand in the way of us anymore Jane. I want this, I want _you_."

Jane pulled her hand back. She wanted to give Liara one last chance to back out.

"I want you too, Liara, but we don't have to do this. Not if you aren't ready."

The asari looked at her curiously, and then shook her head. Liara wasn't backing out. Not this time. "I've never been more certain of anything in my life."

Jane still didn't move, didn't approach. Liara sensed her nervousness. She was the very image of chivalry, and she needed reassurance, needed to _know_ that she was ready, know with more than words.

"I want this, Jane. I want to feel you without anything in the way." Liara raised one hand to the commander's face, lightly brushing against it in an almost timid and exploratory way. She bit her lower lip, and glanced at the commander's eyes, then her mouth, then her eyes again, silently asking permission. Jane managed something that resembled a nod, anticipation forcing her body to respond on its own, all of the frustration of the last few months of near misses igniting infernos in her blood and causing her vision to swim.

"Ok, just tell me what to do," She replied breathlessly, surprised she'd managed a coherent sentence.

Liara raised her other hand, holding the commander's face between them and looking curiously at the human's skin as it shimmered and transformed. Electricity danced along the surface, bringing her own dark biotic field to life without her having to consciously activate it. Her body hummed with the current, filling the room with light and a tangible anticipation, sounding her desire clearly and leaving no doubt that she was ready.

Slowly, never taking her eyes off Jane's, she closed the distance between them. She felt Jane's arms steal around her waist and pull her closer, felt the energy arc between them, through them. She was entering that moment just between existing in the physical world and releasing into the spiritual one and her heart pounded furiously, seeking to synchronize with her partner's. Her eyes swirled with darkness and her craving ignited as she reached out to Jane mentally, tentatively brushing the edges of the human's mind, desperate to join them together.

"No more interruptions," she whispered as their lips finally met for the very first time. Her skin suddenly burned, and ached, and she felt a throb somewhere not entirely unexpected, in a place that was far below and unfamiliar to her. She felt Jane pull her forward, fusing them together and sinking her fingers deep into the flesh at her hips, silently claiming her. Her eyes fully awakened obsidian and her mind frantically sought Jane in the darkness, in the void, in that timeless place where consciousness silently waited for consecration's stealthy approach.

Liara felt Jane's barriers drop, and though they had joined many times before to mutually examine memories, this was nothing like that. It was as if a thousand sweltering daggers had seared the flesh from her bones, as those perfect lips crushed against hers and demanded her soul. She closed her eyes, hoping to lock out the exquisite pain, and she pushed the human back against the desk. The link expanded, and she felt all of Jane's insecurity, all of her fears coming through over it and entering her mind. Clipped phrases, short images, questions there were no answers to; all of it was here between them as she wrapped her arms around the commander's neck and shifted her hips closer, seeking deeper contact, seeking to relieve a primal ache. _Stop Saren… make them listen… make them care… want Liara… worry… Ash… Anderson… risking it all… need hope… need you…_

Liara couldn't breathe, couldn't think, all she could do was absorb the electrically charged imagery being passed to her through the link and grip more tightly around the human's neck. Jane's lips felt like nothing she'd ever imagined, sending little bolts of lightning across her skin every time she pressed harder, pulled back, pressed again. The sheer force of the human's will crashed into her consciousness and compelled her to live through Jane's eyes, seeing all of her fears and all of the burdens that she carried. It was all laid raw for her, cutting through her, settling into her.

She felt Jane's arms loosen their hold and start tugging at her casualwear, seeking skin, pursuing contact. Liara felt her leg move on its own up Jane's thigh, pushing them both harder into the edge of the desk and eliciting sounds from Jane that were not words. More images and fragments reached her though the link, and she opened her mind to accept them even as she parted her lips and tilted her head back, offering herself and inviting Jane to claim her more forcefully. She wanted… no _needed_ Jane to clear her mind, to focus on her offered body, to drown out everything else. Nothing else mattered right now.

_Lia.. feels good… want…_

Beyond the point of forming coherent thought herself, she sent an affirmative reply over the link and started her own journey toward removing Jane's casualwear, never breaking the contact between their lips. She needed the exchange to be complete, to give herself, to be aligned with Jane's form with no barriers. She needed Jane's hands on her, Jane's mouth, Jane's skin. Instinct took over and she felt her body seeking to melt into the human, gripping, clawing, losing balance as she sought to bring them both to the ground, where she could offer herself more completely.

_Jane… can't… falling…_

Jane understood and supported her with one arm, even as she ripped at her shirt with the other, tearing it down the front and discarding it on the floor. Liara struggled with the dark slacks Jane was wearing, and she felt the human's hand cover hers and easily undo the clasps, letting them fall to the ground. Jane broke away for a moment to pull her shirt over her head, breathless, and then grasped either side of Liara's face, pulling her back into their kiss. Liara felt Jane's tongue run across her bottom lip, and then felt her legs weakening with the pleasure. Standing wasn't going to work for much longer. She lowered her arms to Jane's hips and directed her to the bed, pushing the human backward and smiling a little as she lost her balance and fell unceremoniously onto the mattress.

There was no time for gloating, however, because as soon as the contact was lost Liara felt the link start to weaken and it left her feeling empty. She quickly removed the rest of her clothing and crawled over the commander, settling herself on the woman's lap and audibly whimpering at the contact when Jane's hands grasped her waist and pulled her down. The skin to skin contact was nothing like she'd imagined, this warmth, the way Jane's body fit hers, pushed up into her, pulled her. It was constricting, and freeing at the same time, and Liara buried her hands in Jane's hair, fully reestablishing their link and slamming the human with her own wave of emotions and desires. _Jane… touch… please… want…_

Liara was relentless. She and Jane had been linked many times before, but this was the first time she had full access to not only the commander's thoughts, but her body as well. She needed all of it. She needed all of it _this instant_, and she needed to give all of herself. This mysterious human woman was meant for her and her alone, and after all this time tiptoeing around the fear and indecision, she wanted to finally claim was what rightfully hers. She wanted to _be _claimed, in every possible way, by this human who carried the fate of the galaxy with her. _Please… can… can't wait..._

Jane was reacting to the mental cues; right arm stealing around her waist, supporting her, posing her. She tilted her head back, inviting Jane to explore her now exposed neck, leaning into the muscular forearm she felt behind her. The sensation was wonderful and terrifying at the same time, secure in the embrace, but falling into a spinning vortex that threatened to overwhelm her senses. Jane's lips were soft, and her teeth were strong and gripping. It was a magnificent contrast of sensation as the human explored what she had been offered. _Yes… like that… harder…_ Liara kept her arms locked around the human's neck, wordlessly sending encouragement as Jane bit down, marking the perfect skin and claiming her territory. _Touch me, Jane… all of me…_

_Yes… want to… _Liara felt the reply and lightning raced to her core, constricting her muscles and causing her to push more eagerly into her human partner, angling her hips down again, feeling Jane rise into her with slow forward rolls. _Touch me…_ Liara wasn't even sure what it was that she was trying to articulate, just knew that she needed it, needed more. There was something more, an unfulfilled throb, and relief had to come from Jane. It could only come from Jane. Grabbing her lover's shoulders, she pushed the human against the wall, getting as close as she possibly could and nearly passing out when she felt Jane's other hand brush across her stomach. _Yes…oh goddess… there…_

Electricity blinded her as she felt herself being lifted, shifted, entered, and held firmly in place. Suddenly the dynamic had altered between them, no longer were they two separate beings held apart by circumstance, fate, and irritating shipmates, now they were one, a rapturous whole that bled fire through consciousness and cried tears of searing lightning, dark energy, merging together. Liara cried out in pleasure, and mild pain, as the echo of Jane's injury ghosted to her through the link, causing her own hands to twitch. It was there again, as she felt her body being pushed upward, pulled down, pressed forward, pulled back. Jane's rhythm dictating her pleasure also sealed the fate of her pain; thoughts scrambling over their shared link as she struggled to communicate.

_You're… hurt. It's broken._

_Don't care… Need you. _The reply was short, gruff, breathless. Jane's movements didn't cease, and the muscles in Liara's thighs tightened, trying to find an angle that would cause the human less pain, navigating her nervous system through their mating meld. _Use… other… _She could barely articulate the thought and prayed Jane knew what she meant.

_Don't care…__**need you…**_

The arm that was wrapped around her waist tightened and pulled her down hard, keeping her from moving away and setting a new rhythm that caused Liara's back to arch and unconsciously move to allow better access, all thoughts of caution gone. She gripped into the commander's shoulders, scratching her skin and trying to pull herself closer, pull Jane deeper, open herself wider. The pleasure building, the echo of pain felt in her own hands, the wall she was crashing upon with every frantic movement of their bodies, all of it was overwhelming her senses and she used all the mental force she could to reflect the sensations back to Jane, to bring her along, to make her understand.

_Goddess, can you feel that… _Liara's abdomen clenched as she felt Jane's stroke brush against her deepest and most sensitive area, and she felt the mirrored response in her partner's body as she acclimated herself to the new navpoint she had on the roadmap to Liara's pleasure. Liara felt herself being forced backward as Jane leaned over her, muscular arm pushing fingers deeper, unapologetically focusing on her newly acquired target with deliberate motion.

_Give… to me…_

The sheer emotions behind the words coming through the link were overwhelming. She felt power and possessiveness, minor smugness, and a _demand_ for her release. All she was aware of was Jane breathing her name, touching her body… Jane's arm was clutching at her waist, nails digging deeply into the skin at her hips, owning her. She could feel as well as hear the small sounds that escaped Jane's throat every time she scratched along the human's back, her neck, buried fingers in her hair. Still, the movement inside her never ceased, and she felt herself hurtling toward an unknown quantity, a summit that she had never fully experienced. Liara felt something approaching… something calling to her, begging to be released… it was just within her reach, and she sent frantic requests and echoes of pleasure over the link to Jane… _Goddess…. Please… don't… stop…. oh right there… _

Jane picked up her rhythm, sending affirmative replies and bending Liara nearly all the way backward in her quest to align her penetration with her lover's breaking point. She used the motion of Liara's body and the intimate knowledge given to her over their connection to time her thrusts and angle her leverage, feeling the pleasure echoed back into her own body. There was only one way to ease this exquisite pain, only one way to silence the storm and bring them both peace… _Give… to me… __**now**__…_

Liara felt something latch, shift, and release all in one fluid motion. Her biotics flared black, and she freed her hold on Jane to lean back and support herself, pivoting her hips and silently demanding deeper contact… goddess… it was never deep enough. She slammed Jane with all the emotion, all the ache and all the relief washing over her and felt the human's body jerk in response, sharing the pleasure and liberation. A lifetime passed. Or maybe it was just a few moments. She screamed. Jane's voice joined her. Then, all was still.

Liara breathed heavily, low spasms causing biotic fields to occasionally leap from her skin and onto Jane's. Jane moved slowly inside her, coaxing the last remnants of pleasure and easing her down from the pinnacle, back into the material world. She felt the arm around her back pulling her forward and heard more broken bits over the link. _Please… want… hold you…_

Liara closed her now clearing eyes and leaned her forehead against Jane's, wrapping her arms tightly around the human's neck and breathing through the aftershock of their release. She could feel Jane's body rise and fall slowly, moving hers along with it, swaying with the gentle rhythm of the human's labored breaths. She could hear the human's quiet mind, full of affection, soothing calm, and delightful tranquility.

Jane's right arm was still wrapped tightly around her waist and the asari could still feel her lover inside of her. Every now and again there was a slight twinge coming from Jane's echoed thoughts, but the pleasure still drowned it all out and even its presence amplified the feelings she had. Now she truly understood the power of this bond, and she thanked the Goddess for giving this to her. She sighed, and sensed Jane's breathing slow, believing their time to be finished. The human's body relaxed slightly, carefully starting to withdraw, but Liara shifted her hips down, effectively stopping her and causing Jane to gasp in both pain and echoed pleasure.

She moved her head around to rest her chin on Jane's shoulder, close to the human's ear. Her eyes darkened once more as she breathed, "again…"

Then her mind went blank and instinct took over as she felt Jane's arm tighten around her and flip her onto her back. As Jane settled their bodies together once more, seeking their cadence, only one thought reached her through the expanse of time and space…

_This is why you have to save the universe. _


	60. Epilogue: Decisions by Dawn

_**Epilogue - Decisions by Dawn  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thessia, Mountaintop, inside Danger's sport rover<strong>_

"Let me out of here." Terriana started pushing buttons on the control panel, hoping to find the one that overrode the AI and opened the doors.

"Accessing: Voice Verification Complete. Hello Matriarch Terriana. I have a message for you from Operative Danger."

"You… what?" she stared at the VI representation of Danger warily.

"I have a message for you from Operative Danger. Do you wish to hear the message?"

"I… Yes I want to hear the message. What is the message?"

"The message is, 'Buckle up everyone, especially you, beautiful!'"

Terriana's hand froze on the control panel and her eyes glazed over, remembering another time, not so very long ago when she had first met Danger. Those were the first words the human had spoken to her, and oh, how she had been scandalized! She sat back in the seat and closed her eyes, remembering the warmth of the arms that enveloped her and the strength of both of the humans that had saved her. Danger's best friend Jane Shepard had been there too, and Terriana had to grudgingly admit that she kind of liked the soldier as well. At least, as a confidant for Danger.

"VI, please let me out of this vehicle."

"My name is not VI. It is DIDI, Matriarch, and I cannot let you out. Danger has locked access to only her voice commands, and she has left explicit instructions to bring you to Jane Shepard if she does not return in thirty minutes."

Terriana crossed her arms and allowed herself a little pout. No one but the stupid AI could see her anyway.

_What is Danger doing out there? She should be in here with me… in my arms… Oh, we were so close! So close… I was so close to finally sharing all my burdens with someone who would accept and love me forever. _

"Why did she put me in here, DIDI?" She decided not to antagonize the unpredictable program, knowing that it was one of Danger's pet projects and was given to flights of fancy.

In response, DIDI merely played back all of the surveillance footage that had been gathered the last several weeks, showing a mysterious figure that was shadowing their movements, both inside the compound and out. Terriana leaned forward, trying to understand what it was she was seeing. The images flickered from one to another, this one in the garden catching the glimpse of a shadow at the far north end, that one showing the same shadow clipping across the doorway as they entered the compound to retire for the night. It wasn't until ten minutes worth of images later that Terriana got a meaningful look at what had been stalking them.

_Oh no… That's… that's Siri's eldest... _

"DIDI, you have to let me out of this car right now."

"I am sorry, Matriarch. I am unable to comply. Danger has left strict…"

"I _know_ what Danger has left." Terriana's skin darkened with a biotic charge, and the air within the rover shimmered dangerously. "Let me out."

"As I already stated, Matriarch…"

Terriana leaned forward and tilted her head to the side. "DIDI, I will give you one opportunity. And make no mistake, it will only be one. Out there," she pointed slowly for dramatic effect, "is one of the most cunning assassins to ever have lived. Danger doesn't have a chance, and she will never see it coming. I am getting out of this vehicle, and you have a choice. You can either let me out, or you can watch as I melt this entire rover around us. Either way, _I am getting out of this vehicle."_

DIDI took half a tick to process the new information, and then decided that the only way to handle the situation was to allow the matriarch to follow through on her threat. "Matriarch, I am unable to comply with your request. If you must use force, then use it, but Danger has entrusted your safety to me, and her strict orders were to get you to Jane Shepard or get destroyed trying. If that is to be my fate, then I accept it."

Terriana narrowed her eyes. "DIDI… Jump to another vehicle."

"I cannot."

"Why not?"

"Operative Danger has left express instructions that I am to…"

"Yes, yes, I heard you the first three times. Do my orders mean nothing?"

"You are logged to the Administrator subroutine unless Operative Danger has locked you out for security reasons. Operative Danger locked access to Darla priority one Terriana just before she left."

_This is taking too long. Why am I even arguing with this computer? Danger needs me. _

"DIDI, I said you would give one opportunity and I meant it." She turned her focus inward and concentrated her biotic field around the main part of the console in the middle. She wasn't certain how far the electronics that housed the AI stretched, so she took a guess and hoped for the best. DIDI was Danger's creation, and she didn't want to destroy it if she didn't have to. The air turned black, and she further focused the mass effect field outward, warping the shape of the rover and causing the metal to grind in upon itself. "DIDI, I strongly suggest you jump… NOW," she repeated, as she closed her eyes and let the field go. The rover shattered around her, filling the air with crystalline shards of metal and residual electricity. Terriana was on her knees, one hand on the ground, breathing heavily. It had been centuries since she had used that amount of force.

_I hope that the stupid AI got out in time. _

Terriana didn't have much time to dwell on that question, however. Her human was out in the wild all alone hunting down a member of the Black Wing, not knowing what it was she actually faced… or why she faced it.

_She is so fearless, and foolish… I must get to her in time. _

Terriana pushed herself off the ground, raised her arms, and lifted herself into the night.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thessia, Mountaintop, Out in the wilderness<strong>_

Danger stepped gingerly, trying to muffle her footsteps in the dry forest land. She wasn't wearing her usual stealth gear, as she didn't expect trouble here on the planet, so it was slow going. She thought she could hear every single movement of her loose clothing and she ground her teeth in agitation.

_Where are you? _

She had been catching glimpses of the shadow for weeks now, and had instructed DIDI to take over the surveillance cameras around the compound and any nearby satellites. Over time they had put together a profile, but she still wasn't certain who the stranger was or why a Justicar would be after the Matriarch. As far as she knew, Justicars only hunted lawbreakers, not lawmakers.

_I should have known better than to bring Terra this far from the compound. I got carried away. I hope she isn't too mad at me for putting her with DIDI. _

Danger stopped short. There was the sound of a breath, a whisper almost… a question. Her eyes darted around, barely able to make out anything in the quickly darkening twilight. "I know you are out here," she called. "Show yourself."

"Oh, I'm only too happy to oblige…"

Danger closed her eyes as she felt the arm snake around her waist and the knife press to her throat. _This can't be happening. It just can't be happening._

The stranger's chin was on her shoulder, and she felt a slight biotic field envelop them both and lift them slightly in the air. "Tell me, is it true?" the voice whispered in her ear.

_What is she talking about? _"Is what true?"

"Oh, don't be coy with me, human. Is it true? Have you been Marked?"

_They ARE all fucking insane. Living for hundreds of years must cause severe dementia. _"Listen lady, I don't know what you want with the matriarch, but you are going to have to kill me to get to her."

"I have no interest in the matriarch." The stranger pushed them both forward and slammed Danger into a tree, pinning her against it with her weight and shifting the knife to the back of her neck. It was easy; barely even a challenge. She had several inches and at least twenty pounds on the human, not to mention a mastery of biotics that rivaled the High Seat herself. "I'm here to talk to _you_." She kept the knife against the human's neck and used her other hand to lift Danger's shirt. "Well… looks like my father was right. But why? Why did she mark _you?"_

_Gosh what the hell is she talking about? Did Terriana do something to me in my sleep or something? Maybe she put some sort of territorial tattoo on my back. Hmmm… Not so bad if that's what it is. But no, she wouldn't do that, right?_

Danger closed her eyes and tried her best to focus. She didn't have any hope of beating a Justicar in a fight, but she could at least buy some time for DIDI to get Terriana to safety and maybe find out what the huntress was after. DIDI would be able to hack her omni-tool once she got the matriarch to Jane and confirmed Danger's death, so she had to try to get whatever she could on audio. She concentrated on her biotic amp, which was just beneath the knife held against her neck, and she pushed, _hard. _It had almost the desired effect; the asari stranger's hand spasmed with the shock and Danger was able to somewhat clumsily spin out of her captor's embrace as the knife fell to the ground.

"Oh, you shouldn't have done that…" Marisa stated as she flicked her wrist and the knife returned to her grip. The human was moving away, but she was slow and awkward, nowhere near Marisa's own fitness level. "You attacked a Justicar, human. Do you know what the Code requires in such a situation?"

"Code? Lady, listen, you held a knife to _my_ neck. I didn't attack _you!_"

Marisa waved it off. "Minor technicality. I want to see if you really do have her favor or not." Marisa lunged fast, disappeared, and was on top of Danger again in an instant. Once again she pinned the human against a tree with her body and her biotics, and Danger could feel the alien's breath hot on her cheek. "I've watched and waited for weeks now to get you alone…Why did the goddess mark you? Tell me…" She examined the human's face hypnotically, weaving back and forth as she was taught so long ago, hoping to disorient the creature and force it to spill all of its secrets. "Tell me…"

_What the FUCK is she talking about? Is Jane playing some kind of sick joke on me? My first real progress with Terra and I get interrupted by the most batshit insane asari Justicar on Thessia? _

"I… I really don't have a clue what you are talking about…" _And stop trying to seduce me. Just not going to work. _

"Oh, I think you do know what I am talking about." The knife reappeared, slicing gently down the front of Danger's shirt. The human held her breath as the tip just grazed her skin, leaving a faint red trail in its wake between her breasts.

"Look, what do you want? Money? I can get you money. You need someone extracted? Done. I even have some contacts over at C-Sec if you need something. Just… Stop whatever it is you are trying to do."

Marisa's face broke into a feral grin as the scent of Danger's blood reached her senses. She closed her eyes and pushed closer to the human, relishing the feel of contact once again after so long. Surely the goddess wouldn't mind if she took a small bit for herself… Athame was known to… share.

"Look lady, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I'm kind of taken you know…"

"Ah, but I thought you didn't know anything about the mark? Tsk tsk, lying to a Justicar. What does the Code require now, I wonder?"

_Holy hell, what is going on here? _Danger was starting to seriously panic. This asari was clearly misinformed about something and the human had no clue how to talk her way out of this situation.

_What do I do? Come on, THINK Darla. What the hell would Jane Shepard do? Wait… Jane's been a little frustrated lately… She might not be too opposed to a random Justicar raping her in the middle of the forest… hmm… no, FOCUS!_

The crazy asari was still pressed against her, one hand on her blade between them and the other curved around Danger's back, scratching at the Mark put there by the asari demon-god. "Twice now you have broken a law that would require action according to the Code and twice now I have spared you your life. Do not test me a third time, human. Tell me everything. Why are you Marked? When did she Mark you? Why are you here?"

Danger just stared up into space. She didn't know how to answer any of those questions, and all she could think about right now was how badly she wanted out of this situation and to be back with Terra, who was waiting for her in her sport rover.

"I…" She started nervously.

Marisa closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She could see why the goddess had been so allured. This human was fairly intoxicating, smelling faintly of raspberry and machinery. She was tall, almost as tall as Marisa herself, and she was surprisingly well muscled for a human female. "Tell me everything," she whispered as she rubbed her cheek along Danger's. "Tell me who you are, and why you are here." The scent of the blood was getting to her. The hand that held her knife settled over the human's heartbeat, smearing the faint trail of red and synchronizing the tempo in her own chest to it. Her other arm tightened around the mercenary's waist, pulling her closer and covering them both with a light haze of violet electricity. Her eyes darkened, reaching out to Danger and promising deliverance from all of her sins, if she would only open herself to Marisa now. She lightly bit just where the human's jaw met the sensitive skin underneath her ear, and pushed harder, offering her own body and utter salvation if Danger would just surrender...

_Ok… I need to get the hell out of here… NOW!_

Danger summoned every last bit of biotic… talent… she had and focused the weak charge in front of her. She wasn't able to push the asari very far, but it was enough to allow her to slide to the ground and disorient her captor momentarily. Clearly this seduction technique was not something the alien had expected to fail. Danger rolled to the side and staggered to her feet, leaning against a nearby tree. "Lady, for the last time… I have no idea what you are…"

Danger couldn't finish her thought. The Justicar had recovered quickly and advanced on her once again, but was suddenly distracted by movement behind them. A lone figure materialized in the clearing, and Marisa wasted no time in reversing her grip on the blade and turning around to face the intruder.

_No, Terra! What are you doing here?_

Danger barely had time to react. She gathered what little biotic power she had left after her last nearly heroic lift, pushed herself away from the tree, and launched herself at the Justicar, knocking her to the ground and rolling them along the brush until her back hit a boulder, hard.

_Oh god, that hurts, what happened?_

Marisa pushed herself off the ground and stared in horror at her blade, now sticking out of Danger's abdomen. She hadn't meant to seriously injure the human; after all, she _was _marked. She had just wanted to scare her a little, arouse her a little, and perhaps take a small piece for herself before the goddess came to claim her property. She should have never allowed herself to slip into the joining ritual and become distracted like that. Of course the damn matriarch would have found some way to get around the lockdown Marisa watched Danger program their rover with. Of course she would have interrupted the interrogation and turned the whole thing into a disaster.

"Matriarch…" She tried to turn toward the asari who had entered the clearing, but her limbs felt heavy. Her skin felt tight. Her mouth was dry… and her nerves were suddenly all on edge and seething with… _fear…_

_I am not a matriarch._

The words weren't spoken, but they were everywhere in Marisa's mind. Her head pulsed with the sound. Her eyes vibrated with the intonation. Her lips quivered with the sense of dread that was slowly washing over her.

"Athame?" Marisa started weakly.

_Hardly. _

The Justicar's eyes grew wide as her entire body was lifted and turned toward the smaller, yet more formidable asari. She tried to activate her biotic strength, but it seemed to have been completely drained away. The sky, which was already dark at this point, turned deep black, and violet lightning crossed it, dancing all around them.

"Forgive me…"

_Run, Justicar. Run, and never look back. _

Marisa closed her eyes as her body twisted and sailed through the air for what seemed like miles until it connected with a dark marble wall. She fell to the ground with a sickening thud, and stars flashed before her eyes. Her back and one arm were broken, and her right leg felt stiff as well. She looked around her, and realized she was back in front of the Temple of Athame. She painfully dragged herself to a sitting position, and thought she heard the abysmal voice in her head one last time.

_Run…_

"Shit…" she whispered.

* * *

><p>Terriana's eyes cleared and she dismissed the violent winds that had carried the Justicar wretch's body back to her daddy's temple. Danger was here, and she was hurt, possibly fatally. She looked around quickly and spotted the human with her back to a boulder, holding a wound on her abdomen that was rapidly soaking her shirt with blood. The matriarch raced to her side and fell to her knees.<p>

"Danger… Oh Danger… why…"

"Hey, Terra," Danger said jovially. "Are you a hallucination? I thought I told you to stay with DIDI. Where did that Justicar go?" The human winced as pain shot through her body and she lifted her hand, showing the matriarch the damage. "I don't think this is good, Terra."

Terriana stared at the wound and shook her head. All this time they had been together she had been able to protect Danger from harm. The human may have thought that _she _was the bodyguard, but in reality the matriarch didn't really need one. She hired them so she didn't have to expose herself, and she kept Danger because she fell in love. "Why couldn't you be asari? I could have… I could _save_ you."

Danger smiled weakly at Terriana and gathered what little strength she had left to raise her hand to the woman's cheek. She didn't know what the matriarch was on about this time, but she was glad the woman was here. Even if it did turn out to be a pre-death psychotic break, she was glad that the last moments in her mind were filled with the one her heart belonged to. Softly, she whispered, "Oh… you already have. I… I_ love_ you, Terra."

Terriana closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, wishing beyond anything that she wasn't who she was, and that she had just been left alone to enjoy her life in quiet comfort. She would have given all of it up; indeed, she already largely had given all of it up to lead a life among the mortals of Thessia.

She opened her eyes again and saw the life leaving Danger's body. She didn't have much time. "Bond to me?" She whispered, praying Danger had enough strength left, and praying that the human wouldn't deny her this one last request. "I will never belong to another, Darla. Please… bond to me?"

Danger tried to grin, but life was leaving her fast. Still, she knew that this was somehow important, somehow… critical. She adjusted her back against the rock and opened an arm weakly, the other hand still covering her wound. "Yes," she barely managed as the asari matriarch straddled her lap, and whispered the joining words. Danger's consciousness barely registered the almost audible click and she closed her eyes, opening what was left of her mind to the only one she had ever loved. If felt like nothing she had ever experienced, and she bared her heart and soul to the asari who was clutching at her, begging her for a lifetime of love, a lifetime she could no longer provide. In that moment, she knew that Terriana had loved her for just as long, and she tried to push down the bitter regret that now, now that they were being so painfully honest, now they were out of time.

"Terra," Danger started weakly.

"Shh, it's ok." The matriarch tightened her grip around Danger and pressed her lips forcefully to the human's dry, cracked ones. If this was to be Danger's end, she wanted to taste those last dying breaths.

Danger smiled through the contact and whispered, "Third time's a charm, huh Terra? Gosh, I've been waiting for this for so long."

A sudden thought occurred to Terriana…

_Oh, please let there be time for that. Please…_

"Danger…" she whispered, breaking away from the human's lips for a moment. "Can I… Will you…? I…"

Danger's eyes were dimming, but she still understood what the asari wanted through their shared link. She nodded almost in relief and used what remaining strength she had to grasp the asari's hip with her free hand and pull her closer. Terriana wasted no time searching through the human's mind, covering the hand that held that hideously gaping wound with her own, connecting herself to the very lifeblood of her mate. If she couldn't have Danger, she would at least bear Danger's legacy, and in that way, have some small comfort in the twilight of her existence before she was forced to return to her mother's lair and attend her. She would have at least this, a beautiful daughter, to love and to hold and to teach all of the things that Danger loved, and all of the things that she loved about Danger.

She would have at least this, and as she took her last selections into herself and away from Darla Vance, she felt one last shudder, and life left the human vessel.

Danger's eyes were darkened forever.

"I won't cry," she whispered as she held the dead human. "I have a piece of you now, and I won't cry." Terriana stood and stepped back, removing the heavy robe that always covered her back and shoulders, feeling the air on her perpetually open wounds and delighting in the pain it caused. Her eyes were still obsidian, and she watched as Danger's confused soul rose up out of her human body and looked at her, seeing her as she really was for the very first time.

"I love you too, Danger. Goodbye… We may meet again. It may come to pass that he will give you to me, if I ask it of him." Terriana said as the soul, reaching for her, rose into the air. Her eyes followed it as it disappeared over the horizon, heading toward Palladium's eternal kingdom. Or at least, that's where it _should_ have been going… Terriana squinted at the distance and rubbed her eyes… It couldn't be… There was no way that it could… She stopped and examined her link to Danger; that swiftly forged bond just before the human died. She looked though every memory and as she did, her eyes grew narrow and her fists clenched. She had been so distracted by her own grief and securing the human's legacy that she completely missed… Rushing to the human's corpse, she forcefully flung it face first on the ground and nearly ripped the bloody shirt from the lifeless back. There, almost imperceptible to the mortal eye but burning bright black in her own supernatural ones, was the mark of her mother.

The Mark of Athame.

Terriana fairly seethed with anger. It all made sense, now.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Temple of Athame, High Seat<strong>_

"I know what you have been up to, Siri."

The High Priestess sat motionless on the marble seat, seemingly unaffected by the darkened electricity swirling around the room. This was not the first time she had been visited by Athame, having stood in the wrath of the goddess over seven hundred years prior when she was selected as the next High Seat. Now, after centuries of silence and relatively smooth running of the temples, her goddess had returned. And she wasn't happy.

"You meddle far too much."

The asari priestess did not respond. It was not wise to reply to Athame unless she directly asked a question, and so far, there had been no questions. There had been declarations, there had been accusations, there had even been threats, but there had been no questions. Siri merely sat and waited until the goddess exhausted herself and asked something of her. Only then would she respond.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

Ah, there was a question, finally. That was her cue to join the conversation, if it could even be called that. Much like the last time she had been in the presence of the unpredictable deity, she was talked at rather than with. Demands were made, rather than favors asked. Requirements were informed, rather than allowanced requested. That time, there had been no questions at all, just a simple statement that she was directly intervening because she disagreed with the choice of the next High Seat, and a number of other, much darker moments that Siri took care to remember seldom. The following day, the top candidate had been assassinated and Siri was fast tracked to the highest spiritual position in asari society. She had held the seat since then, and as her life was coming to a close she had expected guidance from Athame on who the next High Seat would be, but she wasn't quite expecting… this.

"My Goddess, I do not know what it is you are asking."

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, Siri." Athame spat the words, disgusted. "I know full well what you are up to. Who I mark is MY business and I don't need your lunatic assassin daughter chasing her all over the planet."

"Marisa is a Justicar, now."

Athame waved her topmost hands dismissively. "Justicar, Assassin, same difference. Neither one allows themselves to enjoy all that I have given your kind, so neither has any value to me. You would **think** that being so closely involved with one another would lead to them relaxing a sutra or two... or twenty… or two hundred… but no matter. If they want to punish themselves, so be it. Have at it. I no longer care."

Siri did not respond. She knew that Athame had no interest in either organization aside from her mild amusement that the heads of both academies always seemed to be bondmates. Siri herself found it entertaining as well, but understood that it was also terribly necessary. Both the Justicar Academy and the Order of the Black Wing provided necessary services to asari society, and it was important that both continued to. In order to ensure their relatively peaceful co-existence, leadership was hand-picked from the top graduates of each academy who had been observed secretly maintaining romantic ties across campus lines. Once selected, bonding was encouraged although it was also an unspoken rule that it would remain… secret. In this way, the two academies would endure without wiping each other out, and both services would continue to be provided to Thessia and the rest of the universe.

"My Goddess?" Siri took her chances with Athame's wrath. The goddess had turned from her and darkened the air with her wings, allowing her biotic strength to warp the room and rock the marble chair sickeningly. She was no doubt attempting to intimidate. The high priestess didn't flinch, however, and Athame eventually tired of her game and turned back around.

"Do you know why I wanted you as High Seat, Siri?"

The High Priestess didn't respond. It wasn't a question that Athame really wanted her to answer. It was a question Athame wanted to give **her** the answer **to**.

"I chose you because you are fearless…" her eyes took on a faraway look as she remembered a night in the distant past, somewhere near these very halls. "You are fearless…" she looked straight through the stone cold asari that sat before her. "Your bondmate is fearless…" Her gaze rose and seemed to penetrate the secret door just over the high priestess's shoulder. "Your daughters are fearless…" The insane goddess crossed all six of her arms and leaned lazily against the marble wall of the temple's audience chambers. "Your third youngest is to be next. She has bonded now?"

"She has. To an older acolyte in her four hundredth year. Cythee, I believe."

"Excellent. Mara is to be the next High Seat. Your line is fierce and loyal, if meddling and intrusive. I would like to continue this tradition for a time, and see where it leads."

Siri just nodded. She had already been leaning in that direction, Mara being faithfully devoted to the temple and newly settled with a companion who shared her convictions. The goddess' command just meant she didn't have to worry about another situation like what happened when she was selected as High Seat.

"It will be done, My Goddess."

"That's not the only reason I came here, Siri. Your Assassin daughter is outside, and she has some news for you. I suppose I should thank you for moving this whole thing along but… Now I will have to deal with grief from another that I wasn't expecting so I won't. The next time you decide to meddle in my affairs, don't send your pet wolf after it. You know she can't control herself."

The high priestess wisely remained silent.

"I must depart, Siri. I have a… soul to receive."

In an instant, the darkness was gone and so was the goddess. Siri waited a few moments, and then allowed herself a sigh of relief as she pressed a button on the side of her chair, indicating she was ready for the audience with the Justicar. She turned slightly to look at the secret panel that hid her personal bedchamber, and smiled as she felt her bondmate's mind link up with hers.

"_I am here, Siri."_

"_Did you catch all that?" _

"_Yes."_

"_I can step down soon. I will finish this one final task and then hand the temple over to Mara and Cythee. Do you agree?"_

"_Yes, Siri. I want to retire, and escape all this intrigue and enjoy what is left of our lives together. Maybe Marisa will visit us."_

"_Maybe she will, my love. Maybe she will…" _

* * *

><p><em><strong>Heavens, Halls of Obsidian, Throne room<strong>_

"_Athera is here."_

_Athame merely nodded her head at the messenger. She had expected as much, although she hadn't seen her daughter in hundreds of years. The child had rebelled, as most children were wont to do, and had decided to remain on the planet and deny her unholy heritage. The goddess was amused and allowed it, even going so far as to watch over her and ensure her good fortune in that world. They hadn't spoken in centuries, but she still cared for her eldest and had been working with Palladium to try to secure a suitable mate for her before she ran out of time._

_Athame turned and lowered herself majestically into her throne, crossing one luxurious leg over the other and folding two pairs of hands neatly across her black stomach. The sky darkened, and she waited for her progeny to make her entrance. _

_She wasn't disappointed. _

_The doors nearly burst off their hinges with the wrath of the much younger demi-god as she darkened the sky further with her own display of power. She stalked up to the foot of the throne, a slight inclination of her head the only acknowledgement she gave of Athame's authority over her. _

"_What are you playing at, Mother?"_

_Athame waved her topmost hand and blinked innocently. "I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about, Athera. Tea?"_

"_I do not want any tea, Mother. And don't play dumb with me. You know exactly what I am talking about. Why did you mark her? Why did you __**take**__ her? Why couldn't you just… let me have this?" Words threatened to fail the demi-god, and she clenched her fists to try to master her rage again. _

"_Child," Athame started dangerously, "There are forces at work here that you cannot even begin to understand." She leaned forward, capturing her oldest daughter's eyes in her gaze. "_I **had** intended to leave her to live the rest of her natural life on Thessia for your entertainment. Her death was unexpected. And f_or the record, I had already selected someone else for you but __**you**__ decided it wasn't good enough. You were __**supposed**__ to have Jane Shepard, Firstborn of Palladium, and youngest soul ever to ascend to the ranks of the Silver Hand. We had it all worked out."_

"_Shepard?" Athera was incredulous. "How could you have thought for a moment I would be interested in that… soldier? She is just like Palladium! She's too young! She's too bloodthirsty! She's too reckless! And you still haven't answered my question." Athera's own speech slowed this time, and she leaned forward as well, challenging her mother and daring her to strike. "Why did you take __**her**__?"_

_Athame held her daughter's gaze for a short time, then rolled her eyes and leaned back on her throne. "Child, get over it. Your pet human was never important. The vessel was never important. What __**is**__ important is the soul within." She produced a vial from a pocket in her robes and held it up for Athera's inspection. "This is my original consort soul, lost to me millennia ago when the machine-gods first appeared and scattered us to the four corners of the universe. Hidden among Palladium's children! Can you imagine? This soul isn't your pet human, it was never meant to be in Palladium's cache at all! It is __**my **__consort, and now that the soul is back in __**my**__ possession, I will await the contemplation period and place her back into an asari body, where she_ _belongs. Then she will ascend here to sit by my side for the rest of eternity."_

_Athera was clenching and unclenching her fists, her fury rising as her mother's words washed over her. How could Athame do this to her? Billions of asari dotted the far reaches of space, and her mother had lived to see the rise and fall of several civilizations. Why did she have to pick this one human, now, in Athera's lifetime? Why Danger? _

"_I have already bonded to that soul, Mother. It is __**not**__ yours…"_

_Athame was able to hide her mild surprise, though barely. She looked at the vial in her hand and saw that it was indeed, a darker hue than it ought to have been. It had been bound, but that was insignificant. Once it was recycled into the correct vessel for the goddess, the binding would wear off and need to be renewed again. It would be renewed when she was old enough and the goddess decided it was time for her to ascend to her rightful place. It would be renewed by Athame herself, when she brought her consort back home again. She rounded on her daughter viciously, and nearly spat a response. _

"_Insolent child, you can't bond to this soul. It wasn't in the correct vessel. The human is insignificant and doesn't exist anymore. The only reason she was compelled to you at all is because she thought __**you**__ were __**me**__. The soul is mine, and that is how it will remain. Now, I have to focus on the machine-gods. I don't have time to play games with you, Athera. Return to the planet and continue your petty politics. Find yourself another human toy. Find a hundred! This is far beyond your comprehension."_

_Athera closed her eyes and clenched her fists one last time. "If you take this from me…" Her speech slowed dangerously and the already darkened sky took on a new hue, a younger hue, a much more treacherous hue… "I will recruit Liara… and Morinth… and anyone else that I can rally to my cause, and I __**will**__ overthrow you, Mother…"_

_Athame was silent for a moment, considering her eldest and most beloved daughter. The child was truly something out of a delightful nightmare, having the goddess's own swirling markings and her father's deep blue skin. She was tall and statuesque, bred to dominate and control the lesser daughters that walked Thessia. She was one of only three that Athame herself had birthed over the long millennia, and she was by far the toughest and fiercest of those daughters. _

_Athame thought back on the night spent with Athera's father with some fondness, her current High Seat who was fearless in her presence and fought the goddess for dominance during their encounter. That soul was not her consort soul, but it was certainly one that had gotten Athame's attention… and her submission. The product was a child so extraordinary that Athame could deny her nothing during her first years of life. She was beautiful, she was terrible, and she was oh so insolent! Athame was almost impressed with her display of petulance tonight. _

"_Is that right, Athera? Well…" She leaned forward and rested her chin on one of her hands. "I suppose you had better get started then, hmmm?" _

_She waved a hand, and Athera… Terriana… found herself back in her bedchamber at her compound, in her dressing gown, as if nothing had happened at all. As if the night had just started and she had merely said goodnight to her human bodyguard instead of goodbye. The blood was washed from her hand, and the places where her nails had dug into her flesh as she clenched her fists in anger had healed. She could almost believe that it had been a dream, if it weren't for the emptiness descending upon her heart and the new warmth of life that was present in her abdomen._

_She flexed the muscles in her shoulders, testing, and with some relief nodded to herself. It would take time, but they would grow back. They would grow back, she would birth her lover's child, and then she would start on her long journey to take back what was rightfully hers._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Temple of Athame, High Seat, Audience with Justicar Marisa<strong>_

"It is true then?" Siri asked the question more out of obligation than actually needing the answer. Athame's visit had confirmed all of her suspicions already, but somehow she still wanted to hear it from her daughter. The justicar was hunched over on the floor where the acolytes had left her in the darkened room, and she delivered the most fleeting of nods. "She was indeed marked, and seemed to be completely unaware. I was able to get her alone for a few moments before my interrogation was… interrupted. I was… forced here… told to run…"

"Did you kill her?"

Marisa sighed. "I'm not sure. I wasn't trying to. I was not expecting…"

_Maybe I wasn't clear in my instructions._

"There is something else that you need to be informed of. Something that might explain this a little better."

"Yes?" _What more can there possibly be? _

"You will need to… see this to believe it."

The High Seat nodded and gestured her eldest daughter forward. It wasn't often that a Justicar opened herself to the Temple of Athame, so this had to be very serious indeed. "I will be gentle." Without warning she pushed into her daughter's mind, albeit in a much kinder fashion than she would have with any of her acolytes.

Marisa offered up the memory, and suppressed a shiver of fear. Even looking at it from this distance of both time and space, she could see the power and feel the danger. Still, she forced herself to watch as her father sifted through her memories, verifying this particular one's authenticity. After the High Seat was finally satisfied and had withdrawn, the Justicar fell back against the wall in exhaustion.

"You are absolutely certain, Marisa?"

"I am certain, Lady. There is no doubt about what I felt, or saw, there."

"Well. This certainly… complicates things. All this time… We all thought that N'Vara was the only one aside from the ardats..." _This must be what Athame meant about dealing with grief from another…._

"T'Soni," Marisa corrected. The high priestess just waved it off.

"Fine, T'Soni. She's a N'Vara no matter what she wants to call herself."

The justicar just nodded. "But this one isn't like her, is she?"

"No, she's nothing like N.. T'Soni. She is far more… unpredictable. She is a _direct_ daughter of Athame, not the product of her seed."

_And one that could very well challenge your throne, my goddess… Especially if N'Vara helps her. No wonder you are nervous. Wouldn't that be an interesting battle? This explains much. Perhaps mother and daughter are in some sort of a competition over the human toy? Can you really be that bored, my goddess? I wonder if… Athame… why didn't you ever tell me?_

"Right, that's what I thought. But shouldn't she have… you know…" Marisa gestured weakly to her shoulders.

"She's clipped them, I imagine. It's likely the only reason you are still alive. She's considerably weakened. It's also likely the reason she's been under our radar for so long." Siri tried to swallow the bitterness at the revelation that this might actually be her child.

"What do you need me to do now?"

_Good question. Oh my Goddess, what are you playing at?_

"First, you will recover. And keep this to yourself. Don't confront Terriana again. Once you are strong enough, find the other one, and keep an eye on her. If Terriana makes a move, she will seek out T'Soni. She will need help. She may seek out others as well, we cannot discount that possibility. Gather the names of all the remaining Ardat-Yakshi and send them to me. Be ready, Marisa… be safe…"

_And pray for us all. _

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN** – _Pray for us all indeed! I want to thank all of you who joined me on this journey. It's been an interesting ride, and though the plot changed direction a few times during the (wow, 4 years?) I have been writing this fic, I'm happy with where it ended up. In part 2, we will pick up just before Jane's death to flesh some things out further and be a little fluffy, and then join Liara on an epic quest to save not just our favorite commander's body, but her very soul as well. I think Liara will be interested in helping Athera, don't you? And well, Morinth doesn't have anything better to do until Shepard is back anyway, right? We'll even have some fun with Aethyta.

See you all in a few months.


End file.
